Oh! Ouch!

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Don't know what ran over me. I wasn't out bullocks testing brahma bulls with my boots, either. Right now I just feel like I was run over. Earlier today I heard someone(s) out working on the wood. When I first heard it, and woke, I went to jump out of bed. That went over like a lead zeppelin. As soon as my head left the pillow, someone smashed a railroad spike through the middle of the back of my head. I went from shock to nausea so fast I couldn't yelp. The world began spinning, so I went back into unconsciousness as fast as I could. I don't know how long I slept today, though it was long. The odd thing is, as I am waking now, other than the body feeling beaten up, the headache is gone, as is the nausea. That was, at least, a rather unusual occurrence.

Yeah, it's Monday. Yes, I was going to be swimming today. No, it didn't happen, nor Mass, nor have I visited my friend. Yes, they are still... being scheduled. Hush, mother.

It looks like they stacked the logs neatly out back and raked. Damn nice of them. I just wish I had been able to pop up and go out. I'm working on it. I guess, often, I think I am doing better than I am, merely because I think I am. I don't have anything objective by which to judge, living in my thoughts more than flesh as I do. Darth Vader after the loss of his fuse box, or after he turned to the light? If I still insist I am on the side of light? Yeah, something like that. I remember vividly what I have and can do, but with some parts shut down and those parts variable, I never quite have a clean path to function. I, put bluntly, don't know what will work or how to get what will work to work without experimenting, by which time things may have changed. What works today may not, probably won't, work tomorrow. Still, rather than being an engineer in the world I am an engineer within my own flesh. Like most, I work with old, half-broken, systemically barely viable, systems. Well, it's the positive way of looking at things. At least my libido works as if I were a 20-something. Even when I don't want it to. Bah!

Later.