.
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Wait until you get a load of this. Teh Jawa Master Jedi is on a roll. That replaces a hat tip. Anyway...
See, it doesn't always hurt to read here. Mostly. *punch*
Saturday, March 9, 2013
Coexist?
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Well, you know, even with my notions of things, perhaps there are some things even I could still learn? Who knew!?!
(clicky clicky if you want one... too pricey for me, and a bit edgier than my timid ways, but... go for it)
h/t The Jawa Report (oh, and thanks extra for getting me off my duff to learn the picture link thing)
This will mean nothing to you who know nothing about teh guns. To the rest of you, with hope, it means... peace for all... through superior firepower. It is the way of it. Odd how the people who deny the truth of peace through superior firepower end up killing, or trying to kill, everyone who disagrees, innit?
.
Well, you know, even with my notions of things, perhaps there are some things even I could still learn? Who knew!?!
(clicky clicky if you want one... too pricey for me, and a bit edgier than my timid ways, but... go for it)
h/t The Jawa Report (oh, and thanks extra for getting me off my duff to learn the picture link thing)
This will mean nothing to you who know nothing about teh guns. To the rest of you, with hope, it means... peace for all... through superior firepower. It is the way of it. Odd how the people who deny the truth of peace through superior firepower end up killing, or trying to kill, everyone who disagrees, innit?
Blog news, as there is no other honest news.
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While I have them on my sidebar, I want to make sure you see these folks and look at their wares. When CNN started, I watched them a great deal. But I saw the flaws in their "news" coverage, right down to outright lying and editing of what was spoken. I called them the communist news network. For them, nothing has changed. But then Fox News came out. It was, and for the low information type, it remains at least a more... non-denominational news source. It offers both sides, as they say. And, they are good for some things. If too, all news has become little more than puff pieces and tabloid sensationalism. Further, the 'conservative' side Fox often presents is more the Republican big government and corporate socialism side of things, leaving a very slim slice for real conservativism (small government, lower taxes, etc.). Then came Drudge. And while Drudge is still a news source, it is or has become rather... mild. I am not sure if "news" figured out how to rig the results, but Drudge has... changed. Either that or the people who run the site decided to sell out a bit and tempered their algorithms for finding specific news feeds. This new site, however, is more and literally from the grassroots of conservativism, specifically linking to second amendment rights but spiking from that hub to other real conservative issues.
BadBlue Gun gets the Doom approved News Service of the Year Award. If you want to see what your government is really doing, what their proposals are, and have those stories followed to their ends, this is the site for you. They grab excellent sources of news, usually gathered by bloggers who still give a shit. I know, I get a little sore with the pace of things and the moderate methods being attempted as stopgaps against the madness. But, there might be something to it. I see the inevitability and would rather just get too it. If too, I have my very own reasons to stall things a bit as well. Patience? Anyway. That is where, if you are serious about knowing, without tons of corporate and government blinders, what is happening in your nation. Most of my news links come from them.
.
While I have them on my sidebar, I want to make sure you see these folks and look at their wares. When CNN started, I watched them a great deal. But I saw the flaws in their "news" coverage, right down to outright lying and editing of what was spoken. I called them the communist news network. For them, nothing has changed. But then Fox News came out. It was, and for the low information type, it remains at least a more... non-denominational news source. It offers both sides, as they say. And, they are good for some things. If too, all news has become little more than puff pieces and tabloid sensationalism. Further, the 'conservative' side Fox often presents is more the Republican big government and corporate socialism side of things, leaving a very slim slice for real conservativism (small government, lower taxes, etc.). Then came Drudge. And while Drudge is still a news source, it is or has become rather... mild. I am not sure if "news" figured out how to rig the results, but Drudge has... changed. Either that or the people who run the site decided to sell out a bit and tempered their algorithms for finding specific news feeds. This new site, however, is more and literally from the grassroots of conservativism, specifically linking to second amendment rights but spiking from that hub to other real conservative issues.
BadBlue Gun gets the Doom approved News Service of the Year Award. If you want to see what your government is really doing, what their proposals are, and have those stories followed to their ends, this is the site for you. They grab excellent sources of news, usually gathered by bloggers who still give a shit. I know, I get a little sore with the pace of things and the moderate methods being attempted as stopgaps against the madness. But, there might be something to it. I see the inevitability and would rather just get too it. If too, I have my very own reasons to stall things a bit as well. Patience? Anyway. That is where, if you are serious about knowing, without tons of corporate and government blinders, what is happening in your nation. Most of my news links come from them.
Frustrated.
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I simply cannot sleep, or wake, on any kind of schedule. This isn't as bad as the worst I have experienced. But the ghostly feel to my life right now is about as bad as life has been for... well, since my mother visited. She helped me out of the slump through directing my work, and being patient. That and getting me to the hospital and back on medicine. While this isn't the worst I have had it, it certainly isn't good, either. Actually, come to think of it, what I am going through as a low? It used to be my highs, and the near the tippy-top of my better days. Strange to realize this. The thing is, my old highs weren't all that grand. I am eating, at least a bit. I am staying up on some little things. I am awake enough to game, blog, take my medicines, and have solid if oddly timed days. Headaches, a bit of illness like exhaustion, and a few other things are plaguing me as well. Still, weird to think this about as good as it got for decades before recently. Now to just figure out how to shrug this off and get going again.
I tried to get to bed earlier tonight, and almost had it that first time. I may try again very shortly. At least I can track my goals and I keep trying to link up. I am keeping appointments so far, if swimming has been failing due to my sleep schedule hitches. Could those early appointments have been what messed me up? I had two in a row, within a week from each other. I know that first one busted me up hard. The second seemed to be fine, though maybe I pushed things by swimming on the way home.
Something is just really wrong. No, stats are good, so it isn't really that. I can only suspect weather changes and an inability to cope with it right now. This has been going on for almost two weeks now, too. I would love a break from it, which would actually mean getting back in the pool, and getting out more in general. Sleeping, when I can, just isn't doing it. And I just can't seem to fully wake up, ever, or get going. I'll figure it out.
As for oblivion? I think most of my folk were fine with me and what they consider my odd thoughts and notions. They don't like such, mind you, but they didn't care, as long as I had my little hobbies and seemed to be enjoying myself and playing well with others (and creating a retreat for some of them). When I started rattling the sword of fleeing the nation... Yes, that might be too much of a threat to their oblivious nature. Although I've got to say this... if your woman feels secure enough to be oblivious... whether she admits it or not? It means she trusts in systems, which very much include you, to save her. I remember having a talk with a woman or two about that. Something about... when I say get going, I mean move it. Why, she might have asked, you can handle that. And I said, yeah, I probably could. But then I would have to explain why I killed a couple people. That... has gotten a few of them into the game a bit better. They just never thought it all the way through. And they really can't have it both ways. Best trust your woman to tell her that though, some have capricious evil little minds. Those, when you figure out, you dump. Perhaps put a warning sticker on them before kicking to the curb. Good luck with that though. Every man deals with it to some degree.
While Marie Antoinette didn't actually say this, it fits with a women who is comfortable, as something she might say... If they are hungry, let them eat cake! Gah! Though sometimes in their odd ways they can have a point, too. Just... on some matters? They are dependent, ignorant of that, and yet not only take it for granted but test it. It's akin to testing God, only men are much more gullible. God doesn't play that game at all, not even with His Son.
Yes, yes, lost in the desert of near wakefulness and drifting while blathering. Good night, then. I hope.
.
I simply cannot sleep, or wake, on any kind of schedule. This isn't as bad as the worst I have experienced. But the ghostly feel to my life right now is about as bad as life has been for... well, since my mother visited. She helped me out of the slump through directing my work, and being patient. That and getting me to the hospital and back on medicine. While this isn't the worst I have had it, it certainly isn't good, either. Actually, come to think of it, what I am going through as a low? It used to be my highs, and the near the tippy-top of my better days. Strange to realize this. The thing is, my old highs weren't all that grand. I am eating, at least a bit. I am staying up on some little things. I am awake enough to game, blog, take my medicines, and have solid if oddly timed days. Headaches, a bit of illness like exhaustion, and a few other things are plaguing me as well. Still, weird to think this about as good as it got for decades before recently. Now to just figure out how to shrug this off and get going again.
I tried to get to bed earlier tonight, and almost had it that first time. I may try again very shortly. At least I can track my goals and I keep trying to link up. I am keeping appointments so far, if swimming has been failing due to my sleep schedule hitches. Could those early appointments have been what messed me up? I had two in a row, within a week from each other. I know that first one busted me up hard. The second seemed to be fine, though maybe I pushed things by swimming on the way home.
Something is just really wrong. No, stats are good, so it isn't really that. I can only suspect weather changes and an inability to cope with it right now. This has been going on for almost two weeks now, too. I would love a break from it, which would actually mean getting back in the pool, and getting out more in general. Sleeping, when I can, just isn't doing it. And I just can't seem to fully wake up, ever, or get going. I'll figure it out.
As for oblivion? I think most of my folk were fine with me and what they consider my odd thoughts and notions. They don't like such, mind you, but they didn't care, as long as I had my little hobbies and seemed to be enjoying myself and playing well with others (and creating a retreat for some of them). When I started rattling the sword of fleeing the nation... Yes, that might be too much of a threat to their oblivious nature. Although I've got to say this... if your woman feels secure enough to be oblivious... whether she admits it or not? It means she trusts in systems, which very much include you, to save her. I remember having a talk with a woman or two about that. Something about... when I say get going, I mean move it. Why, she might have asked, you can handle that. And I said, yeah, I probably could. But then I would have to explain why I killed a couple people. That... has gotten a few of them into the game a bit better. They just never thought it all the way through. And they really can't have it both ways. Best trust your woman to tell her that though, some have capricious evil little minds. Those, when you figure out, you dump. Perhaps put a warning sticker on them before kicking to the curb. Good luck with that though. Every man deals with it to some degree.
While Marie Antoinette didn't actually say this, it fits with a women who is comfortable, as something she might say... If they are hungry, let them eat cake! Gah! Though sometimes in their odd ways they can have a point, too. Just... on some matters? They are dependent, ignorant of that, and yet not only take it for granted but test it. It's akin to testing God, only men are much more gullible. God doesn't play that game at all, not even with His Son.
Yes, yes, lost in the desert of near wakefulness and drifting while blathering. Good night, then. I hope.
Friday, March 8, 2013
Hobby of the Dread Ilk(tm)?
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Oh, don't get me wrong. I probably could at least be called a lazy Dread Ilk(tm). And, I actually think some of the yougens in the group might try this literally, which is why I won't show this there. Vox... certainly has some interesting associates. I pale in comparison. Since Vox likes playing with rabbits, I'm thinking the Dread Ilk must do this sort of thing, generally more virtually though. Still, just so that you can see how to deal with rabbits, in a virtual and real manner? Plus, it was funny. Me? No, the risk and time to reward is way too shallow, at least in the practicum. Theory? Digital? I'll leave that to your imagination.
Uhrm, rabbit, as I am using it, is an... inside joke, based on a dated, perhaps defunct, biological term as it relates to some people. Never the mind.
Good night.
.
Oh, don't get me wrong. I probably could at least be called a lazy Dread Ilk(tm). And, I actually think some of the yougens in the group might try this literally, which is why I won't show this there. Vox... certainly has some interesting associates. I pale in comparison. Since Vox likes playing with rabbits, I'm thinking the Dread Ilk must do this sort of thing, generally more virtually though. Still, just so that you can see how to deal with rabbits, in a virtual and real manner? Plus, it was funny. Me? No, the risk and time to reward is way too shallow, at least in the practicum. Theory? Digital? I'll leave that to your imagination.
Uhrm, rabbit, as I am using it, is an... inside joke, based on a dated, perhaps defunct, biological term as it relates to some people. Never the mind.
Good night.
An interesting experiment.
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Let us just assume, for a moment, that the grab every gun... or out of civilian hands. Who really will help you when seconds count? Yeah, they did an experiment, one that would get someone drawn down on hereabouts. It was done one of the big gun free zones, often referred to as cimeanopolisis. For the most part, what I saw was really creepy. There were a few brave (enough) souls, but really?
h/t GunsSaveLives and BadBlue Guns
My 75 mm exercise ball just arrived. It... takes a bit to fill. Looking over the instructions while filling it, to pass time, I noticed they suggested only filling it half way the first day, the rest of the way full the following day. I don't really need a break, but who needs a break to take one, so I am going to follow the instructions (if I am going to research whether that is actually necessary). It should hold up. It is supposed to be rated to handle a ton. Technically, by height charts, I need an 85 mm size but I didn't see any that were rated for much over 300-400, which is pushing it and would allow for no or almost no weights. As well, my legs aren't really long for my height, feeling comfortable with 34-36 inseams. It should do.
No, I did not get to the pool. I crashed at about 10:30-11:00, hard, uncontrollably. A bit of food and all the caffeine I could stand did nothing but slightly delay the decline into oblivion. That is just the way it goes. I woke by 13:30, but moving slow and with only an hour and a half to get a shower, get to town, change, and wait for a lane before swim team at 15:00... No, the gig was up. Gah! I hope I get over whatever is keeping me down at the moment. Patience and persistence, doing what I can, and I will get there. Look, I have stuck with it for just over two months, stumbles, falls, missed swims, and all. Is that a record yet or what? I may call and see if there is a time that is generally less busy tomorrow at the pool.
Later.
.
Let us just assume, for a moment, that the grab every gun... or out of civilian hands. Who really will help you when seconds count? Yeah, they did an experiment, one that would get someone drawn down on hereabouts. It was done one of the big gun free zones, often referred to as cimeanopolisis. For the most part, what I saw was really creepy. There were a few brave (enough) souls, but really?
h/t GunsSaveLives and BadBlue Guns
My 75 mm exercise ball just arrived. It... takes a bit to fill. Looking over the instructions while filling it, to pass time, I noticed they suggested only filling it half way the first day, the rest of the way full the following day. I don't really need a break, but who needs a break to take one, so I am going to follow the instructions (if I am going to research whether that is actually necessary). It should hold up. It is supposed to be rated to handle a ton. Technically, by height charts, I need an 85 mm size but I didn't see any that were rated for much over 300-400, which is pushing it and would allow for no or almost no weights. As well, my legs aren't really long for my height, feeling comfortable with 34-36 inseams. It should do.
No, I did not get to the pool. I crashed at about 10:30-11:00, hard, uncontrollably. A bit of food and all the caffeine I could stand did nothing but slightly delay the decline into oblivion. That is just the way it goes. I woke by 13:30, but moving slow and with only an hour and a half to get a shower, get to town, change, and wait for a lane before swim team at 15:00... No, the gig was up. Gah! I hope I get over whatever is keeping me down at the moment. Patience and persistence, doing what I can, and I will get there. Look, I have stuck with it for just over two months, stumbles, falls, missed swims, and all. Is that a record yet or what? I may call and see if there is a time that is generally less busy tomorrow at the pool.
Later.
Is it yours if it merely drops in your lap?
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Well, it isn't quite THAT good. For you it probably means little. I wasn't sure if I would be able to wake in time for swimming today. Sleep has been awfully screwy for no apparent reason. I tried to get to bed early last night but that just didn't happen. I did rest for a couple of hours earlier, twice, trying to become one with the night, or at least become one with my pillow. Still, a 3:00 drop was as early as I have been able to do in a while. I set the alarms for 10:00, hoping if I couldn't wake that at least I would turn over quickly enough to set the alarms for 11:00 or noon, then go from there. I knew the prospects for a swim were slim. Right at 6:00, though, my eyes fluttered and... I was simply awake. It's not a bad type of awake. I'm not sore, tired, cranky, if I am not quite fully self-aware yet. The odds of a swim just increased to 40% from somewhere in the 5% range. I have a very good chance of falling victim to the gravity of my nature even yet. Time will tell.
In an hour or so I will make some sort of cream of something breakfast. That always helps. I have sausage thawed, maple flavor, which will work to add real protein to the meal. While I hate early rises, I love what the extra time allows. An early rise is a luxury with a serious price... one I would gladly pay if I only could. I love beating the sun up. Not to be self-depreciating, just honest, but it's the only time I might beat it during the day!
Had the oddest dream in there somewhere. I was being resettled to new constructions, along with my friend. Usually the housing held four to eight people per side in a duplex arrangement. Since both my friend and myself knew some of the people involved all through the process, we had gotten one side of the duplex to ourselves, and further, the builders had built our side as a two person domicile despite all the regs. The other side hadn't been completed yet so we had the run of the place for the time being. I was just showing my friend a new knife I had picked up, a slick, double sided, razor sharp, deal, with an enclosed grip... not a cheapy either, but a superior blade and build. It was evening and we were settling in. The camps were known for rough-housing and thuggery. They weren't policed and guns were taken.
As I was settling in to bed, my friend was over by the door, then we heard some racket outside. It sounded like a group was fighting past our window. I lifted the shades a bit, rattling the required chains along the bottom of them in doing so, and watched as a group passed. I couldn't tell who they were or, even, really, what was going on. They stopped a hundred feet out and it seemed like someone was on the ground. My friend then headed over to his bedroom. Then one of the guys nearest to our place headed toward our duplex. I was sure my friend had locked the door, if that really meant much. No phones, by the way, and no one to call anyway, not in the resettlement. There were guards, but just to keep us in. I was starting to believe the gangs were created to... keep people in line and to keep our heads down, they were sanctioned.
As a group of them finally had reached the door, they came right in. I'm not sure if they had a key, jimmied the door, or if my friend hadn't locked the door! Five of them were inside before I knew it. My friend headed over, he knew them. I got up, grabbed the knife I had showed my friend and another more pedestrian type of blade, but kept the visitors from noticing. The leader told us we were going to die, we had to since we witnessed the murder. Until then I had no idea someone had died but I knew it didn't matter, not with a confession now. If I couldn't figure out who he thought we were going to tell, even so? Perhaps they were merely after the "posh" digs? So I headed over, got between my friend and the thugs, and waited. As they headed toward me I gutted the leader before he took a full step, then stabbed the next in the neck... in the very right place. He couldn't back out as the others behind him were still pressing forward, unaware immediately what was going on at the speed of my attacks, and the dimness as dusk was settling in and curfew sees that electricity was cut as the sun went down, so just began gushing his last, pinned trying to go back against too many others advancing. I killed four of them, all told, before the fifth guy split like dry kindle under a good axe with a proper chop. The knife really was quite a good blade, by the way. I was satisfied with how it handled.
I shoved the dead and dying miscreants out the door and advised my friend to make sure to lock the door forthwith. He just... nodded... shocked either by the killings or my cool demeanor after. Hard to tell with people who really haven't done such things. I finally could get back to bed, I was tired. Interruptions just weren't going to ruin my sleep. I checked the door, locked it, then crawled in and slept like a babe.
Get cracking kiddies. Daylight is burning... somewhere. *bleh*
.
Well, it isn't quite THAT good. For you it probably means little. I wasn't sure if I would be able to wake in time for swimming today. Sleep has been awfully screwy for no apparent reason. I tried to get to bed early last night but that just didn't happen. I did rest for a couple of hours earlier, twice, trying to become one with the night, or at least become one with my pillow. Still, a 3:00 drop was as early as I have been able to do in a while. I set the alarms for 10:00, hoping if I couldn't wake that at least I would turn over quickly enough to set the alarms for 11:00 or noon, then go from there. I knew the prospects for a swim were slim. Right at 6:00, though, my eyes fluttered and... I was simply awake. It's not a bad type of awake. I'm not sore, tired, cranky, if I am not quite fully self-aware yet. The odds of a swim just increased to 40% from somewhere in the 5% range. I have a very good chance of falling victim to the gravity of my nature even yet. Time will tell.
In an hour or so I will make some sort of cream of something breakfast. That always helps. I have sausage thawed, maple flavor, which will work to add real protein to the meal. While I hate early rises, I love what the extra time allows. An early rise is a luxury with a serious price... one I would gladly pay if I only could. I love beating the sun up. Not to be self-depreciating, just honest, but it's the only time I might beat it during the day!
Had the oddest dream in there somewhere. I was being resettled to new constructions, along with my friend. Usually the housing held four to eight people per side in a duplex arrangement. Since both my friend and myself knew some of the people involved all through the process, we had gotten one side of the duplex to ourselves, and further, the builders had built our side as a two person domicile despite all the regs. The other side hadn't been completed yet so we had the run of the place for the time being. I was just showing my friend a new knife I had picked up, a slick, double sided, razor sharp, deal, with an enclosed grip... not a cheapy either, but a superior blade and build. It was evening and we were settling in. The camps were known for rough-housing and thuggery. They weren't policed and guns were taken.
As I was settling in to bed, my friend was over by the door, then we heard some racket outside. It sounded like a group was fighting past our window. I lifted the shades a bit, rattling the required chains along the bottom of them in doing so, and watched as a group passed. I couldn't tell who they were or, even, really, what was going on. They stopped a hundred feet out and it seemed like someone was on the ground. My friend then headed over to his bedroom. Then one of the guys nearest to our place headed toward our duplex. I was sure my friend had locked the door, if that really meant much. No phones, by the way, and no one to call anyway, not in the resettlement. There were guards, but just to keep us in. I was starting to believe the gangs were created to... keep people in line and to keep our heads down, they were sanctioned.
As a group of them finally had reached the door, they came right in. I'm not sure if they had a key, jimmied the door, or if my friend hadn't locked the door! Five of them were inside before I knew it. My friend headed over, he knew them. I got up, grabbed the knife I had showed my friend and another more pedestrian type of blade, but kept the visitors from noticing. The leader told us we were going to die, we had to since we witnessed the murder. Until then I had no idea someone had died but I knew it didn't matter, not with a confession now. If I couldn't figure out who he thought we were going to tell, even so? Perhaps they were merely after the "posh" digs? So I headed over, got between my friend and the thugs, and waited. As they headed toward me I gutted the leader before he took a full step, then stabbed the next in the neck... in the very right place. He couldn't back out as the others behind him were still pressing forward, unaware immediately what was going on at the speed of my attacks, and the dimness as dusk was settling in and curfew sees that electricity was cut as the sun went down, so just began gushing his last, pinned trying to go back against too many others advancing. I killed four of them, all told, before the fifth guy split like dry kindle under a good axe with a proper chop. The knife really was quite a good blade, by the way. I was satisfied with how it handled.
I shoved the dead and dying miscreants out the door and advised my friend to make sure to lock the door forthwith. He just... nodded... shocked either by the killings or my cool demeanor after. Hard to tell with people who really haven't done such things. I finally could get back to bed, I was tired. Interruptions just weren't going to ruin my sleep. I checked the door, locked it, then crawled in and slept like a babe.
Get cracking kiddies. Daylight is burning... somewhere. *bleh*
Thursday, March 7, 2013
Want to get smart, eh? Stick around.
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But it'll cost you some ignorant front teeth and a little pain as we get rid of those bad boys. Don't be a girl about it, either.
On one of the blogs I follow, I noticed someone suggesting that we should get out there and contact our representatives. I fired back that Republicans have become about as connected with constituents as Democrats have always been. And, what, exactly, would we tell these fine folk? To stop doing what they have been doing for the last decade, more, really? Or... some such back-sass.
I am then told that being quiet will get me killed, like the Jews. To which I respond, the Jews weren't quiet. Hell, they forced socialism, helping to elect Hitler in many and varied ways. I named at least one name to back it up, Einstein (who then, as cowards do, crawled off to let that which he created do it's thing without getting HIS hands dirty... sort of like with the bomb I guess... genius (bomb-thrower) indeed). Though I am pretty sure the majority of German Jews, and definitely the elites, were well onboard Hitler's train, no pun intended. Yeah, I may cut a mean jib, but the truth is just that. I think Freud was big into it too. He was allowed to leave after most Jews had been refused exit, probably due to his political help if I had to guess.
Yeah, sure, I know most people can't, and wouldn't, leave. But you aren't going to win. You can surrender, fight and die, or fight and be detained... whatever version of fight may mean to you (letter writing anyone?), the few who will even bother to notice. The one opportunity for a revolt will probably come after an initial assault, if some of the other powers that be wake up, create a C&C, organize, and fight back from there. Which will be after much one-sided blood-letting. Personally, I think writing letters to your congress critters, R or D, other than in praise, will most likely get your name on a blacklist. You will henceforth be suspect. So, yeah, I get that. But don't tell me to write one more useless letter to a group of men who neither know nor care. By the way, I recommend (mostly) complying, staying out of the goo (or getting out of the states), unless or until a united force is developed. You may be needed whole, hale, and able later, but up-front and right at first you will merely be a martyr, though those can help the cause... just not all of you.
So, I get a return comment fired back about me being an anti-Semite (truth be damned, though he is a pro newsman, so truth isn't the subject... he still maintains that part if he doesn't quite drink the rest of the cool-aid swill). Further, it is suggested that I crawl away and die, having been "healed" by the money of these people (he must know of my various situations). No problem there, it is better to die free and as healthy as I can, if I feel no obligation to become a mere subject, or worse as I am an incorrigibly free man. I'm certainly not going to die because all people would do is write letters to non-responsive congress critters, doing nothing about the politics that created these problems. As for getting "healed" by a system that failed me for 25 years nearly to my death, misdiagnosed and mistreated me for decades in hellish ways to boot, and are just now, finally, almost possibly going to return some health after having blown off most of my adult life? And more, for having become disabled and been served, I am restricted from some of my rights! Thanks, by the way. Class, all class, all the time. As for anti-Semite? Really? The truth is what it is. Either you accept it, and learn from the parts of it you don't like, or you repeat it. Denying it by calling the truth-teller a liar and a bigot doesn't work. Though, as I said, he is a pro-media guy. Which... pretty much says it all.
No use commenting more there. I meant to lay down a challenge and he just spat like a baby, cried like a woman, and lied like the latter, without stopping to think over a single thing he wrote. All good. This, folks, is why you don't trust even "conservative" news. They are just as steeped in lies and deceit and attacks and fallacies as the left from which they were spawned. Hell spawn is just that.
Aye, but it was... fun. Not even just a little. No, it was hilarious. Ten to one he didn't enjoy it at all and is still steeped in his own piss-froth. *grins* I will drag you out of this propagandist, cow-towing, metrosexual, dung heap of a period on time if I have to rip out your emotional lungs and shit down your lily-livered empty of truth gullet to fill you with some real bull, raging bull, boy, I say boy. And, just to top it off, I will still read there. He does some interesting pieces, and is still a friend, for my part. I believe he is merely completely off the mark. I honestly don't think he realizes how bad it really is and how little... is going our way. I pray that he is just mistaken... I believe it to be so.
Later, perhaps good night.
.
But it'll cost you some ignorant front teeth and a little pain as we get rid of those bad boys. Don't be a girl about it, either.
On one of the blogs I follow, I noticed someone suggesting that we should get out there and contact our representatives. I fired back that Republicans have become about as connected with constituents as Democrats have always been. And, what, exactly, would we tell these fine folk? To stop doing what they have been doing for the last decade, more, really? Or... some such back-sass.
I am then told that being quiet will get me killed, like the Jews. To which I respond, the Jews weren't quiet. Hell, they forced socialism, helping to elect Hitler in many and varied ways. I named at least one name to back it up, Einstein (who then, as cowards do, crawled off to let that which he created do it's thing without getting HIS hands dirty... sort of like with the bomb I guess... genius (bomb-thrower) indeed). Though I am pretty sure the majority of German Jews, and definitely the elites, were well onboard Hitler's train, no pun intended. Yeah, I may cut a mean jib, but the truth is just that. I think Freud was big into it too. He was allowed to leave after most Jews had been refused exit, probably due to his political help if I had to guess.
Yeah, sure, I know most people can't, and wouldn't, leave. But you aren't going to win. You can surrender, fight and die, or fight and be detained... whatever version of fight may mean to you (letter writing anyone?), the few who will even bother to notice. The one opportunity for a revolt will probably come after an initial assault, if some of the other powers that be wake up, create a C&C, organize, and fight back from there. Which will be after much one-sided blood-letting. Personally, I think writing letters to your congress critters, R or D, other than in praise, will most likely get your name on a blacklist. You will henceforth be suspect. So, yeah, I get that. But don't tell me to write one more useless letter to a group of men who neither know nor care. By the way, I recommend (mostly) complying, staying out of the goo (or getting out of the states), unless or until a united force is developed. You may be needed whole, hale, and able later, but up-front and right at first you will merely be a martyr, though those can help the cause... just not all of you.
So, I get a return comment fired back about me being an anti-Semite (truth be damned, though he is a pro newsman, so truth isn't the subject... he still maintains that part if he doesn't quite drink the rest of the cool-aid swill). Further, it is suggested that I crawl away and die, having been "healed" by the money of these people (he must know of my various situations). No problem there, it is better to die free and as healthy as I can, if I feel no obligation to become a mere subject, or worse as I am an incorrigibly free man. I'm certainly not going to die because all people would do is write letters to non-responsive congress critters, doing nothing about the politics that created these problems. As for getting "healed" by a system that failed me for 25 years nearly to my death, misdiagnosed and mistreated me for decades in hellish ways to boot, and are just now, finally, almost possibly going to return some health after having blown off most of my adult life? And more, for having become disabled and been served, I am restricted from some of my rights! Thanks, by the way. Class, all class, all the time. As for anti-Semite? Really? The truth is what it is. Either you accept it, and learn from the parts of it you don't like, or you repeat it. Denying it by calling the truth-teller a liar and a bigot doesn't work. Though, as I said, he is a pro-media guy. Which... pretty much says it all.
No use commenting more there. I meant to lay down a challenge and he just spat like a baby, cried like a woman, and lied like the latter, without stopping to think over a single thing he wrote. All good. This, folks, is why you don't trust even "conservative" news. They are just as steeped in lies and deceit and attacks and fallacies as the left from which they were spawned. Hell spawn is just that.
Aye, but it was... fun. Not even just a little. No, it was hilarious. Ten to one he didn't enjoy it at all and is still steeped in his own piss-froth. *grins* I will drag you out of this propagandist, cow-towing, metrosexual, dung heap of a period on time if I have to rip out your emotional lungs and shit down your lily-livered empty of truth gullet to fill you with some real bull, raging bull, boy, I say boy. And, just to top it off, I will still read there. He does some interesting pieces, and is still a friend, for my part. I believe he is merely completely off the mark. I honestly don't think he realizes how bad it really is and how little... is going our way. I pray that he is just mistaken... I believe it to be so.
Later, perhaps good night.
Sleep and waking is just screwy.
.
.
I honestly don't know what the exact problem(s) is(are). I tried to go to bed earlier but that didn't work. It was very late, or early actually, when I could finally sleep. I didn't bother with the alarms, just slept until I woke. Even going to bed much later than yesterday I woke earlier today than I did yesterday, somehow. I'm not getting this. Then again, it's not like I have to get it. It just is.
My goal is still to be up and about tomorrow for swimming. And, really, I need to be out of the house by noon. That is, I need to be out of the house earlier than I have been able to even wake up the last few days. This is going to be a trick. It might be possible, but it will probably end up hurting a goodly little bit. Remember that first smack on your cute little baby butt? Neither do I, but I will bet you now that if it didn't make you cry, they did it until you did. It's going to be like that. I bet those asshole doctors keep the rubber gloves on when they do that, just for added effect? :p Gotta laugh, folks. Even if you are dying... and, technically, I still am. Which is funnier still! Never mind. My mom doesn't like that joke either. Hush!
Well, on to something or other. Later.
.
I honestly don't know what the exact problem(s) is(are). I tried to go to bed earlier but that didn't work. It was very late, or early actually, when I could finally sleep. I didn't bother with the alarms, just slept until I woke. Even going to bed much later than yesterday I woke earlier today than I did yesterday, somehow. I'm not getting this. Then again, it's not like I have to get it. It just is.
My goal is still to be up and about tomorrow for swimming. And, really, I need to be out of the house by noon. That is, I need to be out of the house earlier than I have been able to even wake up the last few days. This is going to be a trick. It might be possible, but it will probably end up hurting a goodly little bit. Remember that first smack on your cute little baby butt? Neither do I, but I will bet you now that if it didn't make you cry, they did it until you did. It's going to be like that. I bet those asshole doctors keep the rubber gloves on when they do that, just for added effect? :p Gotta laugh, folks. Even if you are dying... and, technically, I still am. Which is funnier still! Never mind. My mom doesn't like that joke either. Hush!
Well, on to something or other. Later.
Can't get to sleep!
.
.
It does seem very warm. Now, the weather is warming, or seems to be. But it is more than just that. Perhaps I have built enough extra muscle, and with it irregularly being served by my heart, when it is on I am hot, or at least too warm to sleep? I really can't get a good handle on my situation, always. Then again, I think the rules have, do, and will change at a seeming whim, if I like to think there is a reason for the changes. I think my heart is putting out such small amounts of blood, still, that my body is trying to make sure everything gets enough to survive, then tosses blood wherever it is called for beyond that? Whatever the truth, I am definitely too warm tonight.
Have any of you read this before? It would be the U.S. version of the communist manifesto planks. I have made the parts that seem to be more important today bold.
----------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Congressional Record--Appendix, pp. A34-A35
January 10, 1963
Current Communist Goals
EXTENSION OF REMARKS OF HON. A. S. HERLONG, JR. OF FLORIDA
IN THE HOUSE OF REPRESENTATIVES
Thursday, January 10, 1963
Mr. HERLONG. Mr. Speaker, Mrs. Patricia Nordman of De Land, Fla., is an ardent and articulate opponent of communism, and until recently published the De Land Courier, which she dedicated to the purpose of alerting the public to the dangers of communism in America.
At Mrs. Nordman's request, I include in the RECORD, under unanimous consent, the following "Current Communist Goals," which she identifies as an excerpt from "The Naked Communist," by Cleon Skousen:
[From "The Naked Communist," by Cleon Skousen]
CURRENT COMMUNIST GOALS
1. U.S. acceptance of coexistence as the only alternative to atomic war.
2. U.S. willingness to capitulate in preference to engaging in atomic war.
3. Develop the illusion that total disarmament [by] the United States would be a demonstration of moral strength.
4. Permit free trade between all nations regardless of Communist affiliation and regardless of whether or not items could be used for war.
5. Extension of long-term loans to Russia and Soviet satellites.
6. Provide American aid to all nations regardless of Communist domination.
7. Grant recognition of Red China. Admission of Red China to the U.N.
8. Set up East and West Germany as separate states in spite of Khrushchev's promise in 1955 to settle the German question by free elections under supervision of the U.N.
9. Prolong the conferences to ban atomic tests because the United States has agreed to suspend tests as long as negotiations are in progress.
10. Allow all Soviet satellites individual representation in the U.N.
11. Promote the U.N. as the only hope for mankind. If its charter is rewritten, demand that it be set up as a one-world government with its own independent armed forces. (Some Communist leaders believe the world can be taken over as easily by the U.N. as by Moscow. Sometimes these two centers compete with each other as they are now doing in the Congo.)
12. Resist any attempt to outlaw the Communist Party.
13. Do away with all loyalty oaths.
14. Continue giving Russia access to the U.S. Patent Office.
15. Capture one or both of the political parties in the United States.
16. Use technical decisions of the courts to weaken basic American institutions by claiming their activities violate civil rights.
17. Get control of the schools. Use them as transmission belts for socialism and current Communist propaganda. Soften the curriculum. Get control of teachers' associations. Put the party line in textbooks.
18. Gain control of all student newspapers.
19. Use student riots to foment public protests against programs or organizations which are under Communist attack.
20. Infiltrate the press. Get control of book-review assignments, editorial writing, policymaking positions.
21. Gain control of key positions in radio, TV, and motion pictures.
22. Continue discrediting American culture by degrading all forms of artistic expression. An American Communist cell was told to "eliminate all good sculpture from parks and buildings, substitute shapeless, awkward and meaningless forms."
23. Control art critics and directors of art museums. "Our plan is to promote ugliness, repulsive, meaningless art."
24. Eliminate all laws governing obscenity by calling them "censorship" and a violation of free speech and free press.
25. Break down cultural standards of morality by promoting pornography and obscenity in books, magazines, motion pictures, radio, and TV.
26. Present homosexuality, degeneracy and promiscuity as "normal, natural, healthy."
27. Infiltrate the churches and replace revealed religion with "social" religion. Discredit the Bible and emphasize the need for intellectual maturity which does not need a "religious crutch."
28. Eliminate prayer or any phase of religious expression in the schools on the ground that it violates the principle of "separation of church and state."
29. Discredit the American Constitution by calling it inadequate, old-fashioned, out of step with modern needs, a hindrance to cooperation between nations on a worldwide basis.
30. Discredit the American Founding Fathers. Present them as selfish aristocrats who had no concern for the "common man."
31. Belittle all forms of American culture and discourage the teaching of American history on the ground that it was only a minor part of the "big picture." Give more emphasis to Russian history since the Communists took over.
32. Support any socialist movement to give centralized control over any part of the culture--education, social agencies, welfare programs, mental health clinics, etc.
33. Eliminate all laws or procedures which interfere with the operation of the Communist apparatus.
34. Eliminate the House Committee on Un-American Activities.
35. Discredit and eventually dismantle the FBI. (Isn't it unionized now?)
36. Infiltrate and gain control of more unions.
37. Infiltrate and gain control of big business.
38. Transfer some of the powers of arrest from the police to social agencies. Treat all behavioral problems as psychiatric disorders which no one but psychiatrists can understand [or treat].
39. Dominate the psychiatric profession and use mental health laws as a means of gaining coercive control over those who oppose Communist goals.
40. Discredit the family as an institution. Encourage promiscuity and easy divorce.
41. Emphasize the need to raise children away from the negative influence of parents. Attribute prejudices, mental blocks and retarding of children to suppressive influence of parents.
42. Create the impression that violence and insurrection are legitimate aspects of the American tradition; that students and special-interest groups should rise up and use ["]united force["] to solve economic, political or social problems.
43. Overthrow all colonial governments before native populations are ready for self-government. (Zero as president, as a prime example.)
44. Internationalize the Panama Canal.
45. Repeal the Connally reservation so the United States cannot prevent the World Court from seizing jurisdiction [over domestic problems. Give the World Court jurisdiction] over nations and individuals alike.
----------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Ah, an example? Here is a story that covers psychology, schools, and well, probably others. Psychological counseling for students who saw another student chew a pastry into a gun? Really? It looks like they have won.
.
It does seem very warm. Now, the weather is warming, or seems to be. But it is more than just that. Perhaps I have built enough extra muscle, and with it irregularly being served by my heart, when it is on I am hot, or at least too warm to sleep? I really can't get a good handle on my situation, always. Then again, I think the rules have, do, and will change at a seeming whim, if I like to think there is a reason for the changes. I think my heart is putting out such small amounts of blood, still, that my body is trying to make sure everything gets enough to survive, then tosses blood wherever it is called for beyond that? Whatever the truth, I am definitely too warm tonight.
Have any of you read this before? It would be the U.S. version of the communist manifesto planks. I have made the parts that seem to be more important today bold.
----------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Congressional Record--Appendix, pp. A34-A35
January 10, 1963
Current Communist Goals
EXTENSION OF REMARKS OF HON. A. S. HERLONG, JR. OF FLORIDA
IN THE HOUSE OF REPRESENTATIVES
Thursday, January 10, 1963
Mr. HERLONG. Mr. Speaker, Mrs. Patricia Nordman of De Land, Fla., is an ardent and articulate opponent of communism, and until recently published the De Land Courier, which she dedicated to the purpose of alerting the public to the dangers of communism in America.
At Mrs. Nordman's request, I include in the RECORD, under unanimous consent, the following "Current Communist Goals," which she identifies as an excerpt from "The Naked Communist," by Cleon Skousen:
[From "The Naked Communist," by Cleon Skousen]
CURRENT COMMUNIST GOALS
1. U.S. acceptance of coexistence as the only alternative to atomic war.
2. U.S. willingness to capitulate in preference to engaging in atomic war.
3. Develop the illusion that total disarmament [by] the United States would be a demonstration of moral strength.
4. Permit free trade between all nations regardless of Communist affiliation and regardless of whether or not items could be used for war.
5. Extension of long-term loans to Russia and Soviet satellites.
6. Provide American aid to all nations regardless of Communist domination.
7. Grant recognition of Red China. Admission of Red China to the U.N.
8. Set up East and West Germany as separate states in spite of Khrushchev's promise in 1955 to settle the German question by free elections under supervision of the U.N.
9. Prolong the conferences to ban atomic tests because the United States has agreed to suspend tests as long as negotiations are in progress.
10. Allow all Soviet satellites individual representation in the U.N.
11. Promote the U.N. as the only hope for mankind. If its charter is rewritten, demand that it be set up as a one-world government with its own independent armed forces. (Some Communist leaders believe the world can be taken over as easily by the U.N. as by Moscow. Sometimes these two centers compete with each other as they are now doing in the Congo.)
12. Resist any attempt to outlaw the Communist Party.
13. Do away with all loyalty oaths.
14. Continue giving Russia access to the U.S. Patent Office.
15. Capture one or both of the political parties in the United States.
16. Use technical decisions of the courts to weaken basic American institutions by claiming their activities violate civil rights.
17. Get control of the schools. Use them as transmission belts for socialism and current Communist propaganda. Soften the curriculum. Get control of teachers' associations. Put the party line in textbooks.
18. Gain control of all student newspapers.
19. Use student riots to foment public protests against programs or organizations which are under Communist attack.
20. Infiltrate the press. Get control of book-review assignments, editorial writing, policymaking positions.
21. Gain control of key positions in radio, TV, and motion pictures.
22. Continue discrediting American culture by degrading all forms of artistic expression. An American Communist cell was told to "eliminate all good sculpture from parks and buildings, substitute shapeless, awkward and meaningless forms."
23. Control art critics and directors of art museums. "Our plan is to promote ugliness, repulsive, meaningless art."
24. Eliminate all laws governing obscenity by calling them "censorship" and a violation of free speech and free press.
25. Break down cultural standards of morality by promoting pornography and obscenity in books, magazines, motion pictures, radio, and TV.
26. Present homosexuality, degeneracy and promiscuity as "normal, natural, healthy."
27. Infiltrate the churches and replace revealed religion with "social" religion. Discredit the Bible and emphasize the need for intellectual maturity which does not need a "religious crutch."
28. Eliminate prayer or any phase of religious expression in the schools on the ground that it violates the principle of "separation of church and state."
29. Discredit the American Constitution by calling it inadequate, old-fashioned, out of step with modern needs, a hindrance to cooperation between nations on a worldwide basis.
30. Discredit the American Founding Fathers. Present them as selfish aristocrats who had no concern for the "common man."
31. Belittle all forms of American culture and discourage the teaching of American history on the ground that it was only a minor part of the "big picture." Give more emphasis to Russian history since the Communists took over.
32. Support any socialist movement to give centralized control over any part of the culture--education, social agencies, welfare programs, mental health clinics, etc.
33. Eliminate all laws or procedures which interfere with the operation of the Communist apparatus.
34. Eliminate the House Committee on Un-American Activities.
35. Discredit and eventually dismantle the FBI. (Isn't it unionized now?)
36. Infiltrate and gain control of more unions.
37. Infiltrate and gain control of big business.
38. Transfer some of the powers of arrest from the police to social agencies. Treat all behavioral problems as psychiatric disorders which no one but psychiatrists can understand [or treat].
39. Dominate the psychiatric profession and use mental health laws as a means of gaining coercive control over those who oppose Communist goals.
40. Discredit the family as an institution. Encourage promiscuity and easy divorce.
41. Emphasize the need to raise children away from the negative influence of parents. Attribute prejudices, mental blocks and retarding of children to suppressive influence of parents.
42. Create the impression that violence and insurrection are legitimate aspects of the American tradition; that students and special-interest groups should rise up and use ["]united force["] to solve economic, political or social problems.
43. Overthrow all colonial governments before native populations are ready for self-government. (Zero as president, as a prime example.)
44. Internationalize the Panama Canal.
45. Repeal the Connally reservation so the United States cannot prevent the World Court from seizing jurisdiction [over domestic problems. Give the World Court jurisdiction] over nations and individuals alike.
----------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Ah, an example? Here is a story that covers psychology, schools, and well, probably others. Psychological counseling for students who saw another student chew a pastry into a gun? Really? It looks like they have won.
Wednesday, March 6, 2013
The relativity of infinity?
.
.
As regards my condition, regarding heart issues, that seems to be the case. When speaking with my doctor and physician's assistant, they asked me, several times, each, together and alone as well, looking for... a fib, just to be sure... if my breathing was a problem while swimming. I was able to easily and honestly say that I have no problems with losing my breath, other than what you can expect from exercise. Really, though, my limits aren't based on breathing as my lung capacity far outstrips my muscle and body fitness. And, after a half or full lap, I recover rather well, given my physical condition, that of being out of shape. That is what made them so pleased. They didn't indicate why, but I think that made all of the difference for them. It meant death isn't imminent. To be honest, I think they were assured, despite my faith, that I was a goner I think, now, looking back on things. I believe, when I first came in, given the information they had, they truly believed I had months, not years, left. I impressed them, initially, by lasting to this time. Asking to swim... shocked them this last January, I think, if that particular doc hid it well. Then again, I don't think he thought I would ever get to it, as with hiking before. My death was something they didn't want but that, in their minds, was the strongest probability, by far.
So, really, given all, I am doing infinitely better than most goners. But that is a relative thing. Compared to Joe Schmoe I am still a goner. To people who live on a one to ten scale and usually in the 7 to 10 range, I am at .4, pushing through to .7 maybe. And while that is infinitely better than zero, it isn't even a one on the other scale. Which, I think, for now, is fine. It beats the .1, or even the .01 perhaps, that I have certainly been living most of my adult life. It just isn't quite there, yet, if it impresses heart specialists it must be something of a revival? Still, it's a seven to seventy fold improvement over most of my adult life, for what that is worth? (All number just arbitrary, if reasonable, guesstimates.)
I found an email address of an mutual acquaintance of my last lady friend. Actually the husband of said, though he was an more distant associate as well. I sent an email. The wife of this man is still in contact with my lady friend, and as such might have heard of any problems, one way or the other, but definitely of health issues. Now, I merely asked if my lady friend was in health, or perhaps if they knew if she wanted no further contact. I asked for contact information if she is ill, otherwise that they not perturb her with any query if she is otherwise well, just to inform me so that I know. If she is well, I will leave well enough alone. As I might have suggested, if she simply wants nothing more to do with me, I am fine with that. But if she is ill, or worse, I do believe it is fair for me to know. Business, you see. Don't just cut things off, explore and learn, then go from there. I prefer to do so in a non-intrusive manner. Not knowing is the difficult thing, knowing a solid negative is not an issue. I'm used to that.
As the world around me melts, I can't help but be on edge. If you have ever had leaks, or a sink run over, you know that nagging dripping sound, and when it comes to you as the world quiets, like when I take my headphones off after listening to music, it can cause a bit of a panic. A quick check to make sure I haven't done a bad, or that something (else) has failed, can happen if one doesn't remember the situation. At least I am awake, when not listening to music.
I am going to try to hit it early tonight. Despite sleeping in, with the alarm going off every hour this morning from 7:00 to 1:00 I didn't get good sleep. I will again try to wake at 7:00. But if that is a flop I will probably next aim for 9:00 or 10:00, depending on how quickly I react to the alarm. Resetting the alarm for every hour just isn't successful, usually. I only did it to try to force the issue. I ended up with the usual results. Bah!
Later, or good night.
.
As regards my condition, regarding heart issues, that seems to be the case. When speaking with my doctor and physician's assistant, they asked me, several times, each, together and alone as well, looking for... a fib, just to be sure... if my breathing was a problem while swimming. I was able to easily and honestly say that I have no problems with losing my breath, other than what you can expect from exercise. Really, though, my limits aren't based on breathing as my lung capacity far outstrips my muscle and body fitness. And, after a half or full lap, I recover rather well, given my physical condition, that of being out of shape. That is what made them so pleased. They didn't indicate why, but I think that made all of the difference for them. It meant death isn't imminent. To be honest, I think they were assured, despite my faith, that I was a goner I think, now, looking back on things. I believe, when I first came in, given the information they had, they truly believed I had months, not years, left. I impressed them, initially, by lasting to this time. Asking to swim... shocked them this last January, I think, if that particular doc hid it well. Then again, I don't think he thought I would ever get to it, as with hiking before. My death was something they didn't want but that, in their minds, was the strongest probability, by far.
So, really, given all, I am doing infinitely better than most goners. But that is a relative thing. Compared to Joe Schmoe I am still a goner. To people who live on a one to ten scale and usually in the 7 to 10 range, I am at .4, pushing through to .7 maybe. And while that is infinitely better than zero, it isn't even a one on the other scale. Which, I think, for now, is fine. It beats the .1, or even the .01 perhaps, that I have certainly been living most of my adult life. It just isn't quite there, yet, if it impresses heart specialists it must be something of a revival? Still, it's a seven to seventy fold improvement over most of my adult life, for what that is worth? (All number just arbitrary, if reasonable, guesstimates.)
I found an email address of an mutual acquaintance of my last lady friend. Actually the husband of said, though he was an more distant associate as well. I sent an email. The wife of this man is still in contact with my lady friend, and as such might have heard of any problems, one way or the other, but definitely of health issues. Now, I merely asked if my lady friend was in health, or perhaps if they knew if she wanted no further contact. I asked for contact information if she is ill, otherwise that they not perturb her with any query if she is otherwise well, just to inform me so that I know. If she is well, I will leave well enough alone. As I might have suggested, if she simply wants nothing more to do with me, I am fine with that. But if she is ill, or worse, I do believe it is fair for me to know. Business, you see. Don't just cut things off, explore and learn, then go from there. I prefer to do so in a non-intrusive manner. Not knowing is the difficult thing, knowing a solid negative is not an issue. I'm used to that.
As the world around me melts, I can't help but be on edge. If you have ever had leaks, or a sink run over, you know that nagging dripping sound, and when it comes to you as the world quiets, like when I take my headphones off after listening to music, it can cause a bit of a panic. A quick check to make sure I haven't done a bad, or that something (else) has failed, can happen if one doesn't remember the situation. At least I am awake, when not listening to music.
I am going to try to hit it early tonight. Despite sleeping in, with the alarm going off every hour this morning from 7:00 to 1:00 I didn't get good sleep. I will again try to wake at 7:00. But if that is a flop I will probably next aim for 9:00 or 10:00, depending on how quickly I react to the alarm. Resetting the alarm for every hour just isn't successful, usually. I only did it to try to force the issue. I ended up with the usual results. Bah!
Later, or good night.
Oh, yeah? Well, there is try and then there is TRY.
.
.
I attempted to get to bed at 22:00, but didn't sleep until midnight and change. I reset the alarms from 5:00 to 7:00, thinking to to make an attempt at holding onto mornings. I don't remember, specifically, the alarms going off, though I know I kept resetting them every hour or so. I was not able to rise until 13:00. Yeah, well, I must have needed it. And I still don't feel all that fresh. At this time, swimming is off as well. I simply won't be able to make it to town, change, and hope to land a lane before the swim team gets in there today. And after that it seems to turn into kid's town. All fair, and I would rather see them swarm the gym then talk and text, play video games, watch tv, or... worse. No complaints there. Further, I have no doubt in my mind that I did everything in my power to get going.
I received the computer tower from my last lady friend yesterday. I've been trying to call her but keep getting her message service. My guess is that gift I bought her, and her (sometimes) long memory has seen her to find my blog. First, she assumes everything on her about ex'es is about her, while it is not. Second, there is nothing her I haven't told her. Of course, this is where her memory fails. She never heard what I was saying, when discussing some things. But seeing it in black and white, in a way where it can be read and reread, and knowing herself yet denying what she knew and still knows... Well, that may be that. If she pays a surprise visit I will know what it is about. Oh, yes, I will. I have left a message, letting her know it is here. And yet I worry a bit. As I told her, if she leaves a message telling me she is okay, and that she doesn't want contact (for the second time), I won't answer and she can just tell me. But she has failed to do that so I will be tracking down some mutual contacts to check on her well-being. If she is healthy and fine, I will leave off at that.
I'm not feeling really bad, just a little tired still. The travel and swim on top of it was pushing things a little too hard I think. That's all. And that is fine. I can only do what I can do. I will make an attempt to get up earlier the next few days and to get to swimming Friday. Getting in earlier seems to be better as there are generally fewer swimmers. Very much earlier then I have been getting in though. I think winter is finally getting to me, if it is turning to spring out there. I have to hope the weather can lift me up. Spring if it is truly spring-like and summer are top times for function. Whether I am bear like or, as some ex'es might think, reptilian and cold-blooded in nature, it all ends up the same. And still I have had a wonderful winter, all told. The best winter in my history. So a little... end of the winter shock is just fine, I suppose.
Hmm, on to... something. Have a good day.
.
I attempted to get to bed at 22:00, but didn't sleep until midnight and change. I reset the alarms from 5:00 to 7:00, thinking to to make an attempt at holding onto mornings. I don't remember, specifically, the alarms going off, though I know I kept resetting them every hour or so. I was not able to rise until 13:00. Yeah, well, I must have needed it. And I still don't feel all that fresh. At this time, swimming is off as well. I simply won't be able to make it to town, change, and hope to land a lane before the swim team gets in there today. And after that it seems to turn into kid's town. All fair, and I would rather see them swarm the gym then talk and text, play video games, watch tv, or... worse. No complaints there. Further, I have no doubt in my mind that I did everything in my power to get going.
I received the computer tower from my last lady friend yesterday. I've been trying to call her but keep getting her message service. My guess is that gift I bought her, and her (sometimes) long memory has seen her to find my blog. First, she assumes everything on her about ex'es is about her, while it is not. Second, there is nothing her I haven't told her. Of course, this is where her memory fails. She never heard what I was saying, when discussing some things. But seeing it in black and white, in a way where it can be read and reread, and knowing herself yet denying what she knew and still knows... Well, that may be that. If she pays a surprise visit I will know what it is about. Oh, yes, I will. I have left a message, letting her know it is here. And yet I worry a bit. As I told her, if she leaves a message telling me she is okay, and that she doesn't want contact (for the second time), I won't answer and she can just tell me. But she has failed to do that so I will be tracking down some mutual contacts to check on her well-being. If she is healthy and fine, I will leave off at that.
I'm not feeling really bad, just a little tired still. The travel and swim on top of it was pushing things a little too hard I think. That's all. And that is fine. I can only do what I can do. I will make an attempt to get up earlier the next few days and to get to swimming Friday. Getting in earlier seems to be better as there are generally fewer swimmers. Very much earlier then I have been getting in though. I think winter is finally getting to me, if it is turning to spring out there. I have to hope the weather can lift me up. Spring if it is truly spring-like and summer are top times for function. Whether I am bear like or, as some ex'es might think, reptilian and cold-blooded in nature, it all ends up the same. And still I have had a wonderful winter, all told. The best winter in my history. So a little... end of the winter shock is just fine, I suppose.
Hmm, on to... something. Have a good day.
Tuesday, March 5, 2013
So, your friends have convinced you...
.
.
That buying over a billion and a half to two billion bullets and creating 'no hesitation' posters of US citizens was all... in keeping with an orderly normal government function. Go ahead, admit it. You've buried the notion.
Bury this.
Do you even believe in America? Do you even know what that means anymore? I hope the fuck I get well enough to disappear before you find out exactly what it now means.
.
That buying over a billion and a half to two billion bullets and creating 'no hesitation' posters of US citizens was all... in keeping with an orderly normal government function. Go ahead, admit it. You've buried the notion.
Bury this.
Do you even believe in America? Do you even know what that means anymore? I hope the fuck I get well enough to disappear before you find out exactly what it now means.
Advice for women.
.
.
Shut up. No, I don't mean never speak. I mean be quiet when your man brings you a notion. Watch. Do you want to be useful, helpful, a source of pride beyond your beauty or fertility? Then be quiet at first. Now, listen. Set your emotions aside. Think. Get a good grip on what your man is saying and planning. Think it over. Once again, keep your emotions out of the matter, we probably already have a good idea how you feel and likely don't give a shit because that will change in two seconds and is as likely to be as foolish as it is beyond our means. We do have our own feelings too, you know? Look up the details on your own. Compare, contrast, research, and calculate while aiming at his, and your, goals and within the defined means of time, energy, and available technology. Then, when he is in a contemplative mood, but not exhausted either, bring the subject up if he doesn't bring it to you first.
I have met a few very sage women, age isn't always a factor. Most of the time they do not speak on a topic. They realize, from a short discussion, that they probably don't know enough information from which to offer advise. Although there have been a few women who were able to just see the problem and offer advise, usually quite timidly. The last bit of advice I took whole hog, if the cost is a bit of a trouble the end results will justify the price as I plainly see things. When they feel they have enough information, then they may speak, usually only if asked. Bringing up a point of contention is not how to open someone up to receiving even solid wisdom. They have to seek it, or be obviously frustrated and ready to try something else at times. I have been well pleased to have accepted such wisdom. Sometimes I have ignored it, save as a last ditch effort, if just as often to my regret in that I wasted time trying to do it my way. Teach your man that you are truly wise and he will learn to listen to you. Do you simply wish to speak, pronounce your emotions, spout your opinions, or do you truly wish to be valued as a woman to be heard? The choice is yours. Princess or queen. I know, should I seek a wife, how she responds will determine her value, thus placement, in the queue.
If you want to own your man, surrender to him completely. Contest him when you want him to pretty much leave you alone, or gently when it is a special issue. Home is where we hope to avoid confrontations. If you seek equality you seek it alone and foolishly. For you are not and never will be equal. While all men were created equal, that was it. They did not grow up to be equals, and are only theoretically equal in a court of law (and we all know how well that turns out in truth when a rich or powerful man is even held to the law in even the better of nations). So, lets not quibble about insulting notions. You are not a man. And you should be grateful, quite often, so long as you understand that being the wife of a man, and the mother of men, is the greater part of inequality. Do it rightly and only fools will disregard you, as both the foolish and wise rightly do with most women these days.
It all starts with wisdom, and wisdom doesn't come from you. Find it's source, become it's conduit, and you will never have need. Wants? What source on earth, hell, or heaven, could possibly feed your wants? And... why should anyone, if you don't choose well to begin the thing? So many have confused want and need that it is difficult to even begin with so many women. Thankfully, such is not required, completely, at the beginning. So long as she has a constant diet of wisdom from which to begin and a seed of wisdom that has been planted in her? Something like that.
Men are men. Contest us to your hearts content, it will either break the weak or strengthen the strong against you. A broken man is useless to you. Even the more foolish of women know this, if that is part of their point. Creating a broken man increases their victimhood status in a negative cycle of self-destruction, the natural cycle of women without a man, without borders, without a place. The strong among us will simply become completely dismissive of a strong contention without the strength to force the issue. It is our way, our nature. Choose, you have the capacity. You can't choose everything, you get this or that, not both, always. Choose... wisely.
It doesn't even have to be a choice between these things. Just understand, we don't understand you any more than you understand us. Be proud to be a woman, just don't think that means a thing by itself. And we are competitive, so don't go pushing the theme. The less you play that piano, the more we will. Odd how things work out.
.
Shut up. No, I don't mean never speak. I mean be quiet when your man brings you a notion. Watch. Do you want to be useful, helpful, a source of pride beyond your beauty or fertility? Then be quiet at first. Now, listen. Set your emotions aside. Think. Get a good grip on what your man is saying and planning. Think it over. Once again, keep your emotions out of the matter, we probably already have a good idea how you feel and likely don't give a shit because that will change in two seconds and is as likely to be as foolish as it is beyond our means. We do have our own feelings too, you know? Look up the details on your own. Compare, contrast, research, and calculate while aiming at his, and your, goals and within the defined means of time, energy, and available technology. Then, when he is in a contemplative mood, but not exhausted either, bring the subject up if he doesn't bring it to you first.
I have met a few very sage women, age isn't always a factor. Most of the time they do not speak on a topic. They realize, from a short discussion, that they probably don't know enough information from which to offer advise. Although there have been a few women who were able to just see the problem and offer advise, usually quite timidly. The last bit of advice I took whole hog, if the cost is a bit of a trouble the end results will justify the price as I plainly see things. When they feel they have enough information, then they may speak, usually only if asked. Bringing up a point of contention is not how to open someone up to receiving even solid wisdom. They have to seek it, or be obviously frustrated and ready to try something else at times. I have been well pleased to have accepted such wisdom. Sometimes I have ignored it, save as a last ditch effort, if just as often to my regret in that I wasted time trying to do it my way. Teach your man that you are truly wise and he will learn to listen to you. Do you simply wish to speak, pronounce your emotions, spout your opinions, or do you truly wish to be valued as a woman to be heard? The choice is yours. Princess or queen. I know, should I seek a wife, how she responds will determine her value, thus placement, in the queue.
If you want to own your man, surrender to him completely. Contest him when you want him to pretty much leave you alone, or gently when it is a special issue. Home is where we hope to avoid confrontations. If you seek equality you seek it alone and foolishly. For you are not and never will be equal. While all men were created equal, that was it. They did not grow up to be equals, and are only theoretically equal in a court of law (and we all know how well that turns out in truth when a rich or powerful man is even held to the law in even the better of nations). So, lets not quibble about insulting notions. You are not a man. And you should be grateful, quite often, so long as you understand that being the wife of a man, and the mother of men, is the greater part of inequality. Do it rightly and only fools will disregard you, as both the foolish and wise rightly do with most women these days.
It all starts with wisdom, and wisdom doesn't come from you. Find it's source, become it's conduit, and you will never have need. Wants? What source on earth, hell, or heaven, could possibly feed your wants? And... why should anyone, if you don't choose well to begin the thing? So many have confused want and need that it is difficult to even begin with so many women. Thankfully, such is not required, completely, at the beginning. So long as she has a constant diet of wisdom from which to begin and a seed of wisdom that has been planted in her? Something like that.
Men are men. Contest us to your hearts content, it will either break the weak or strengthen the strong against you. A broken man is useless to you. Even the more foolish of women know this, if that is part of their point. Creating a broken man increases their victimhood status in a negative cycle of self-destruction, the natural cycle of women without a man, without borders, without a place. The strong among us will simply become completely dismissive of a strong contention without the strength to force the issue. It is our way, our nature. Choose, you have the capacity. You can't choose everything, you get this or that, not both, always. Choose... wisely.
It doesn't even have to be a choice between these things. Just understand, we don't understand you any more than you understand us. Be proud to be a woman, just don't think that means a thing by itself. And we are competitive, so don't go pushing the theme. The less you play that piano, the more we will. Odd how things work out.
Not bad...
.
.
Not great, but better. I stayed awake until 19:30 or so. It wasn't too much of a push. Sleep came so easily, naturally, too, without an excess seeming need. I woke around 'later', and had to force myself back to sleep but that wasn't too difficult. I had set the alarms for 5:00. I didn't think I could wake then, when I finally got to them about 15 minutes later so I simply shut them off. Sassy came in and let me know that her belly was empty, but didn't push it beyond lodging a formal complaint before going to play tag with Sam. In the dark I slowly woke through it all and got out of bed at 5:30. I have no idea what today will bring.
The stiffness and soreness seems to be better. I think, on top of other problems, I am beginning to need exercise. So when it doesn't happen it is just like when a heavy coffee drinker doesn't get their fix. So, added to whatever caused me not to swim, it is a double or triple dose of smash-in-the-face. Ah well, I guess the price of getting ahead, sometimes, is making yourself compliant, needy. Family, exercise, work... all addictive. And one addiction, even of the good kind, will easily lend itself to other addictions. I think you need the addictions to make it work?
The goal, really, is simple this week. Swimming Wednesday and Friday. Visiting my... well he is a friend for my part... friend this week. Picking up around the house and such, if my hope is to be in shape to hit it a bit harder more on the weekend. That is all. Anything else is pure extra and I can't quite promise or even propose more. I'm still sort of in a low, barely dragging my carcass through life right now. Never to worry, I don't think I'm stuck, completely. And I don't seem to be completely dead in the water.
Later.
.
Not great, but better. I stayed awake until 19:30 or so. It wasn't too much of a push. Sleep came so easily, naturally, too, without an excess seeming need. I woke around 'later', and had to force myself back to sleep but that wasn't too difficult. I had set the alarms for 5:00. I didn't think I could wake then, when I finally got to them about 15 minutes later so I simply shut them off. Sassy came in and let me know that her belly was empty, but didn't push it beyond lodging a formal complaint before going to play tag with Sam. In the dark I slowly woke through it all and got out of bed at 5:30. I have no idea what today will bring.
The stiffness and soreness seems to be better. I think, on top of other problems, I am beginning to need exercise. So when it doesn't happen it is just like when a heavy coffee drinker doesn't get their fix. So, added to whatever caused me not to swim, it is a double or triple dose of smash-in-the-face. Ah well, I guess the price of getting ahead, sometimes, is making yourself compliant, needy. Family, exercise, work... all addictive. And one addiction, even of the good kind, will easily lend itself to other addictions. I think you need the addictions to make it work?
The goal, really, is simple this week. Swimming Wednesday and Friday. Visiting my... well he is a friend for my part... friend this week. Picking up around the house and such, if my hope is to be in shape to hit it a bit harder more on the weekend. That is all. Anything else is pure extra and I can't quite promise or even propose more. I'm still sort of in a low, barely dragging my carcass through life right now. Never to worry, I don't think I'm stuck, completely. And I don't seem to be completely dead in the water.
Later.
Monday, March 4, 2013
Immaturity.
.
.
Well, sure, I can see this in others. But I think I need to look a little closer to home. I have had a number of incidents, and some general reactions, lately which have simply been, or promised, a lack of maturity. Some of what you might call immature in my blog, you must understand, is something from the past. I have never been MORE mature, of course. Further, I think the... limits imposed by illness have kept me from advancing. There is that price, with the benefit of having kept me young in some ways.
I don't know how you just... mature. Time, interactions, responsibilities, words of wisdom from neighbors, friends, family, and those in my Church help. Time? Is that the key? I don't think so. It will bring a form of maturity, but without the rest, which I simply have not had, it is difficult. I like to think I am doing as much as I can, and that while I took some time off I realized that wasn't working and got back into school, thinking that was the way. Finding myself to Church, vowing to celibacy until marriage, figuring out my health and trying to stay with that, buying a home, doing repairs, and such... are all new things to me. And they are all a part of it. But what I truly lack is... enough interaction with other people.
Have you ever seen the face of a long-time, or born, blind person? It changes. I think it can happen with the deaf and severely hearing impaired too. While childishness doesn't show up in this way, it might in discussions. It can be much more off-putting to relationships. And fairly. Most people my age should have been expected to have had a proper teaching and social standardization. If I looked ill, that would help, a bit. But I don't. I look like a healthy, hardy, adventurous man. Imagine if someone walked right into you but you couldn't tell they were blind? Imagine if you shout at someone to not do something dangerous or destructive and they seem to ignore you?
No, no, this really doesn't regard my political or social beliefs. These are traditional, to religion and the secular world for most of history, and solid, if not commonly held. No, this is some other things. I don't even worry too much about some of the silliness regarding my past, even sinfulness. It was what it was. No, it has been how I have involved myself in a few things and such. A fellow, for example, pulled up beside me, blaring his music system. Instead of, perhaps, taking a hint that MY music was too loud I merely turned my music up, or more. Yes, I am disappointed. While he could have... chosen another path, though maybe he did but I did not see or hear... I should look to my reactions. Yes, I do expect better, from me. I can't choose what others do. I can't always understand. But that isn't my issue. What I do is under my control, including my reactions.
Yeah, yeah, that isn't lyrical, fancy, or well written. I'm working through some things. I should have realized, if I didn't like the music, perhaps others didn't like my music. If I didn't realize it was that loud. I need to begin... learning more. I'm doing well, all things considered. But I have much further to go, in whole new arenas, it seems. Hmm, I may have to ask my neighbors if they can hear my music and adjust it so that it doesn't bug others. Actually, I have a number of things to ask about. Ugh... I need more friends! :p
Yes, I do still intend to leave. I honestly see that as clearly as I saw the need to move, as it ended up, here. There is something pulling me, pushing me... perhaps even calling me. And yet, there is no reason I shouldn't, as I heal and improve, inculcate myself into the communities around me. I would rather have a love, a friend, a fellowship, and lose it, then to have never had such. I do believe that. I'll be praying about this greatly through Lent.
As is, of course, I might definitely be able to approach God as a child. :p
Later? No, I think it's bed time. Good night.
.
Well, sure, I can see this in others. But I think I need to look a little closer to home. I have had a number of incidents, and some general reactions, lately which have simply been, or promised, a lack of maturity. Some of what you might call immature in my blog, you must understand, is something from the past. I have never been MORE mature, of course. Further, I think the... limits imposed by illness have kept me from advancing. There is that price, with the benefit of having kept me young in some ways.
I don't know how you just... mature. Time, interactions, responsibilities, words of wisdom from neighbors, friends, family, and those in my Church help. Time? Is that the key? I don't think so. It will bring a form of maturity, but without the rest, which I simply have not had, it is difficult. I like to think I am doing as much as I can, and that while I took some time off I realized that wasn't working and got back into school, thinking that was the way. Finding myself to Church, vowing to celibacy until marriage, figuring out my health and trying to stay with that, buying a home, doing repairs, and such... are all new things to me. And they are all a part of it. But what I truly lack is... enough interaction with other people.
Have you ever seen the face of a long-time, or born, blind person? It changes. I think it can happen with the deaf and severely hearing impaired too. While childishness doesn't show up in this way, it might in discussions. It can be much more off-putting to relationships. And fairly. Most people my age should have been expected to have had a proper teaching and social standardization. If I looked ill, that would help, a bit. But I don't. I look like a healthy, hardy, adventurous man. Imagine if someone walked right into you but you couldn't tell they were blind? Imagine if you shout at someone to not do something dangerous or destructive and they seem to ignore you?
No, no, this really doesn't regard my political or social beliefs. These are traditional, to religion and the secular world for most of history, and solid, if not commonly held. No, this is some other things. I don't even worry too much about some of the silliness regarding my past, even sinfulness. It was what it was. No, it has been how I have involved myself in a few things and such. A fellow, for example, pulled up beside me, blaring his music system. Instead of, perhaps, taking a hint that MY music was too loud I merely turned my music up, or more. Yes, I am disappointed. While he could have... chosen another path, though maybe he did but I did not see or hear... I should look to my reactions. Yes, I do expect better, from me. I can't choose what others do. I can't always understand. But that isn't my issue. What I do is under my control, including my reactions.
Yeah, yeah, that isn't lyrical, fancy, or well written. I'm working through some things. I should have realized, if I didn't like the music, perhaps others didn't like my music. If I didn't realize it was that loud. I need to begin... learning more. I'm doing well, all things considered. But I have much further to go, in whole new arenas, it seems. Hmm, I may have to ask my neighbors if they can hear my music and adjust it so that it doesn't bug others. Actually, I have a number of things to ask about. Ugh... I need more friends! :p
Yes, I do still intend to leave. I honestly see that as clearly as I saw the need to move, as it ended up, here. There is something pulling me, pushing me... perhaps even calling me. And yet, there is no reason I shouldn't, as I heal and improve, inculcate myself into the communities around me. I would rather have a love, a friend, a fellowship, and lose it, then to have never had such. I do believe that. I'll be praying about this greatly through Lent.
As is, of course, I might definitely be able to approach God as a child. :p
Later? No, I think it's bed time. Good night.
What a night! What a day!
.
.
Last night the best I could do was rest earlier in the evening, then get a few hours of sleep in at the end, before I had to go. I went down about 3:30-4:00. I set the alarms for 5:00. When I woke from them I heard something out in the kitchen. I headed out there, flicked the light switch. *click* No lights. Never mind. Whatever was out there, which seemed bigger than the girls, headed into the computer room, where I followed it. I hit the light switch. Again, no light. A fuse, fuses, bulbs? Too tired to mess with it but I didn't know. In any case, whatever it was got away. I thought I could squeak in another hour of sleep, so I reset the alarms. Waking before the alarms went off, I heard the strange skittering again. This time I was right on it. I chased it from the computer room into the kitchen, but without lights and not quite being intellectually agile enough to remember a flash light, and with only the living room lamp, I lost it again. I was pretty sure the first time, and definitely positive the next, what I was dealing with. A huge raccoon. I went back to bed again, not knowing what else to do, until the alarms sounded again. At 5:45 I woke, before the alarms, and decided to just hit it, get my shower in, and maybe get out early.
I walked into the computer room to see if the light bulbs were blown or what. *click* *lights* Dreams! But so darned real. I had been chasing a ghost raccoon in my dreams. Ah well, as for dreams it was a rather mild and sort of cute one. Big coon, too, it must have been 45 pounds!
I did get showered, dressed, and on my way... exactly at 6:30. I was definitely glad I made it up a little earlier than the alarms. The drive was... well... a typical workday interstate drive. I made it with... perhaps fifteen minutes to spare (which is cutting it close, if my first appointment is blood work and my next appointment is by sign-up sheet rather than at a specific time, so there is a lot of flex). Odd how I can make flexible appointments, on time, *bam!*, but can't make scheduled appointments regularly, or Mass... a sitting target. Don't ask me, I just know how it works and doesn't.
The appointment was beautiful. The lady I usually make quite unhappy with my... efforts... was pleased as punch. The doc wanted to shake my hand. And I am now free to hit straight weights. Lightly, when I do, and with close monitoring. As well, he wants lighter weights with more reps. That's my style anyway, so even that isn't a hindrance. When I am ready I will begin that. Or I might even start with cords, first, at home, as a primer. I did forget to ask about an exercise allowance. I may call in tomorrow. All good, really, amazingly good. I think they were more pleased than I am. It didn't hurt that the lady is a swimmer herself, lifelong. It's a club thing, you know?
On the way home I did stop to eat, carefully. Then I did a bit of shopping, filled the tank, and... made it into the pool! I wasn't stellar. I did good to push 15-25 minutes out of my beaten, battered, unrested body. But I did what I could, all I could, as well as I could. I was not able to make it over to my friends. I made it to the X'ter and pointed her toward home. Thankful for cruise-control. :p The rest of today and tomorrow are off limits. I need sleep. I need rest. Don't beat this dead horse, I'll fart in your general direction and you won't like eet. Pardon my French.
Some days even Doom gets to be teh penguin.
Later.
.
Last night the best I could do was rest earlier in the evening, then get a few hours of sleep in at the end, before I had to go. I went down about 3:30-4:00. I set the alarms for 5:00. When I woke from them I heard something out in the kitchen. I headed out there, flicked the light switch. *click* No lights. Never mind. Whatever was out there, which seemed bigger than the girls, headed into the computer room, where I followed it. I hit the light switch. Again, no light. A fuse, fuses, bulbs? Too tired to mess with it but I didn't know. In any case, whatever it was got away. I thought I could squeak in another hour of sleep, so I reset the alarms. Waking before the alarms went off, I heard the strange skittering again. This time I was right on it. I chased it from the computer room into the kitchen, but without lights and not quite being intellectually agile enough to remember a flash light, and with only the living room lamp, I lost it again. I was pretty sure the first time, and definitely positive the next, what I was dealing with. A huge raccoon. I went back to bed again, not knowing what else to do, until the alarms sounded again. At 5:45 I woke, before the alarms, and decided to just hit it, get my shower in, and maybe get out early.
I walked into the computer room to see if the light bulbs were blown or what. *click* *lights* Dreams! But so darned real. I had been chasing a ghost raccoon in my dreams. Ah well, as for dreams it was a rather mild and sort of cute one. Big coon, too, it must have been 45 pounds!
I did get showered, dressed, and on my way... exactly at 6:30. I was definitely glad I made it up a little earlier than the alarms. The drive was... well... a typical workday interstate drive. I made it with... perhaps fifteen minutes to spare (which is cutting it close, if my first appointment is blood work and my next appointment is by sign-up sheet rather than at a specific time, so there is a lot of flex). Odd how I can make flexible appointments, on time, *bam!*, but can't make scheduled appointments regularly, or Mass... a sitting target. Don't ask me, I just know how it works and doesn't.
The appointment was beautiful. The lady I usually make quite unhappy with my... efforts... was pleased as punch. The doc wanted to shake my hand. And I am now free to hit straight weights. Lightly, when I do, and with close monitoring. As well, he wants lighter weights with more reps. That's my style anyway, so even that isn't a hindrance. When I am ready I will begin that. Or I might even start with cords, first, at home, as a primer. I did forget to ask about an exercise allowance. I may call in tomorrow. All good, really, amazingly good. I think they were more pleased than I am. It didn't hurt that the lady is a swimmer herself, lifelong. It's a club thing, you know?
On the way home I did stop to eat, carefully. Then I did a bit of shopping, filled the tank, and... made it into the pool! I wasn't stellar. I did good to push 15-25 minutes out of my beaten, battered, unrested body. But I did what I could, all I could, as well as I could. I was not able to make it over to my friends. I made it to the X'ter and pointed her toward home. Thankful for cruise-control. :p The rest of today and tomorrow are off limits. I need sleep. I need rest. Don't beat this dead horse, I'll fart in your general direction and you won't like eet. Pardon my French.
Some days even Doom gets to be teh penguin.
Later.
Sunday, March 3, 2013
Just to keep you thinking.
.
.
h/t Moonbattery
Hmm, an early rise tomorrow. What the heck happened to Saturday, anyway? Wow. I was tired, and probably a bit "ill".
Good night, or something.
.
h/t Moonbattery
Hmm, an early rise tomorrow. What the heck happened to Saturday, anyway? Wow. I was tired, and probably a bit "ill".
Good night, or something.
Oh, that just hurts.
.
.
I really feel like I am suffering a hangover and was in a solid fight last night, too. No, I didn't drink even a drop. I tried to sleep eight hours but it ended up being eleven hours and alarms didn't help a bit, so were simply shut off. It's an overcast day so that isn't going to help. It is actually raining. Spring has to be nearing, if that doesn't always mean all that much. The rain will run some of the snow off and hopefully it will take the inversion with it as it leaves. My neck, upper back, and other body parts feel like I had been punched. When sleep is bad, when I sleep too long on one spot and can't roll, that is the problem. I can't just make sleep good. Doctors keep telling me that good habits can help, but when you aren't healthy enough to even form habits you are left with frequent uncomfortable sleep. I love how they 'advise' to do what they know I can't do. Change doctors for women in this advertisement... for now.
Where I found this poster I found some other lists that might help you giggle a bit while wasting some time. Not too much time, don't worry. This one is about dealing with people, advertisers receiving feedback. Here are some interesting photos that are simply fun to browse. Here are forty tricks to make your life a little easier, this one could actually be quite helpful. And finally, how advertising can go astray. Most or all of it is rather tame, I think.
I did see a couple of naughtier pics. I chose ones that were a bit cleaner and yet still hit the marks. They remind me of... a... questionable past. The first reminds me of... way too many dates. Why didn't I ever think of post-its? Not like I really cared back then either. It was more about getting out before she woke up. The next is why I never used condoms... exagerated a bit, but 3x were way too tight, the few I have ever found, so the right sized ones would have been difficult to travel with?!? Gah, even 3x hurt. You have no idea. Pity the mule, who tries.
Hmm, now, on to... something. I've been so hungry but I just haven't been interested in eating, somehow. Perhaps a bit more PS3 play. I just can't get it together lately. I'll keep trying. I've decided, with another really early rise Monday, that I will, when tired, just sack out. But when I can, I will work hard. I just don't have a good grip on life.
.
I really feel like I am suffering a hangover and was in a solid fight last night, too. No, I didn't drink even a drop. I tried to sleep eight hours but it ended up being eleven hours and alarms didn't help a bit, so were simply shut off. It's an overcast day so that isn't going to help. It is actually raining. Spring has to be nearing, if that doesn't always mean all that much. The rain will run some of the snow off and hopefully it will take the inversion with it as it leaves. My neck, upper back, and other body parts feel like I had been punched. When sleep is bad, when I sleep too long on one spot and can't roll, that is the problem. I can't just make sleep good. Doctors keep telling me that good habits can help, but when you aren't healthy enough to even form habits you are left with frequent uncomfortable sleep. I love how they 'advise' to do what they know I can't do. Change doctors for women in this advertisement... for now.
Where I found this poster I found some other lists that might help you giggle a bit while wasting some time. Not too much time, don't worry. This one is about dealing with people, advertisers receiving feedback. Here are some interesting photos that are simply fun to browse. Here are forty tricks to make your life a little easier, this one could actually be quite helpful. And finally, how advertising can go astray. Most or all of it is rather tame, I think.
I did see a couple of naughtier pics. I chose ones that were a bit cleaner and yet still hit the marks. They remind me of... a... questionable past. The first reminds me of... way too many dates. Why didn't I ever think of post-its? Not like I really cared back then either. It was more about getting out before she woke up. The next is why I never used condoms... exagerated a bit, but 3x were way too tight, the few I have ever found, so the right sized ones would have been difficult to travel with?!? Gah, even 3x hurt. You have no idea. Pity the mule, who tries.
 |  |
Hmm, now, on to... something. I've been so hungry but I just haven't been interested in eating, somehow. Perhaps a bit more PS3 play. I just can't get it together lately. I'll keep trying. I've decided, with another really early rise Monday, that I will, when tired, just sack out. But when I can, I will work hard. I just don't have a good grip on life.
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