.
.
Nothing done. I worked a bit into daylight. I just, still, don't have much to give. I have been cranking the furnace when I wake, it just isn't enough. Maybe a week of shaking the chills, and rest, will help. Though, perhaps, fasting isn't going to help. Yeah, there are those things. I don't think fasting is the biggest problem though. I feel just as lethargic as I have while eating a couple meals a day.
It is good to have the internet back. I missed logging some of my notions regarding what of Dante, or the haiku masters, I read. Or other things, in general or specific about life, love, or else. I often miss opportunities. As a photographer can't always have his camera, or the right light, or whatever else, so a writer can't always capture, or frame, a thought or sight or sense of another sort. Still, without the possibility, tools, that potential sinks to zero. A hard thing for one who wishes to express.
Oh, this is actually from quite some time back. When I found the second song (played first in this post), I brought it right in. Though, too, for me? The second (played first) reminded me directly of the first song (played last). No, I... don't think most would catch it, unless it was pointed out. Maybe not then? Come on, comment. Sheesh! It's a matter of perspective, and sensory range, that most simply aren't familiar regarding. You can't see the dark in the light, or the light in the dark. You truly, while living in a fallen world, have no idea how deep that rabbit hole goes, either way. Enjoy or not.
Saturday, January 14, 2017
For those who watch, they saw.
.
.
For those of you who know not my... tricks... there was nothing. Still, the dreams continue. She walks with me, haunts me, terrifies me. As monstrous as I am, is she terrible. And, yet, in that, in her, in us, is the only place hope for a temporal manifestation of God's will, a place where heaven may be seen, and the function of the first bit of God's will to which man was introduced, be manifest. Truly frightening. Not without recompense.
She has been haunting my dreams, waking both a darkness and a goodness. For man, and others called to His will and grace, can do no more good than evil in this fallen place. And, yet, from the combined truth, with hope, in faith, by charity, the sum will become greater than their parts. Both the function, her flesh, my want, our will, into another life. Impossible. She might be my impossible girl.
.
For those of you who know not my... tricks... there was nothing. Still, the dreams continue. She walks with me, haunts me, terrifies me. As monstrous as I am, is she terrible. And, yet, in that, in her, in us, is the only place hope for a temporal manifestation of God's will, a place where heaven may be seen, and the function of the first bit of God's will to which man was introduced, be manifest. Truly frightening. Not without recompense.
She has been haunting my dreams, waking both a darkness and a goodness. For man, and others called to His will and grace, can do no more good than evil in this fallen place. And, yet, from the combined truth, with hope, in faith, by charity, the sum will become greater than their parts. Both the function, her flesh, my want, our will, into another life. Impossible. She might be my impossible girl.
While kicking around in the early dark and cold...
.
.
I thought I'd do a bit of research on poets. After writing that last post, I was hoping I hadn't been wrong about Whitman being an American poet. Yeah, it happens. Anyway, at least I wasn't wrong on that. Frost I was much more secure with, and my doubts about Whitman were weak and after the fact. Anyway, a preliminary list was found that seems to hold some promise.
1 Whitman
2 Roethke
3 Stevens
4 Frost
5 Dickinson
6 Poe
7 R. Lowell
8 Snodgrass
9 Pound
10 Sandburg
I visited amazon, and, surprisingly, found the complete works of some of these, in kindle, for free. Others, ones I was totally unfamiliar with, wanted as much as $45 per, and not even complete, collections. Yeah... no. Some were inexpensive, as little as $.99. I gobbled up a number of them. A few I could only find in paperback. If they were inexpensive enough, I added them to my basket for some future time. The only one I might pull the plug on, and spend a bit more for a complete, and hardcover, would be Poe. We go wayyyyy back. I was reading his works before he was writing them, in a weird and Doomish way. *wink*
Now, when will I begin? I can't say. I am about smack in the middle of the epics of Dante, about a third the way through Haiku (or such), and I am what and who I am. Time isn't quite what it seems, which... well... don't you worry. Still, in time, I will begin. I will probably go with one or two of the bigger names (to my ears)... Frost, Dickens, and Whitman would be the top candidates. While, Poe, of course... I have covered Poe so well that... And, yet, he is definitely added back into the queue.
Why? Edumacation, lads and lasses, edumacation. This is one area I... never allowed myself to explore, save in an offhand way with Poe (horror) and Shakespeare (if only personally and privately). I had my reasons. I had much to sort. I could not be seen as... more... problematic than I already was. Secrets protect us, secrets keep us safe. Especially when so small. Now I can finish my education, in this area. Or... start it? If this goes well, I may begin adding in foreign poets. I will be careful, however. I am not interests in some so-called poets. Rappers are NOT poets. I will go more global, however. English, what of some foreign translate well enough, and maybe pushing the envelope a bit. Why? It is time. As well, I have hopes my language skills might improve. I probably can't bump them all that much, but... maybe. Ah, and stories. In the end, that is all that remains here. More might go on, the soul, or spirit converted to soul. But here, in the fallen realm, all that will remain, for as long as it remains, are stories.
Oh... Snodgrass? I had always thought that was a joke name, maybe even about a fictional poet. I think I spoke with Michael about it before. Noting my humorous reaction to the name, and suggesting just what I noted here. I never went on to realize the reality, and the name sunk back to fiction and funny... until this. Will I never learn? Sometimes, of course not. Having too much fun until I am forced to rewrite the wiring harness around some tiddlybits.
Later.
.
I thought I'd do a bit of research on poets. After writing that last post, I was hoping I hadn't been wrong about Whitman being an American poet. Yeah, it happens. Anyway, at least I wasn't wrong on that. Frost I was much more secure with, and my doubts about Whitman were weak and after the fact. Anyway, a preliminary list was found that seems to hold some promise.
1 Whitman
2 Roethke
3 Stevens
4 Frost
5 Dickinson
6 Poe
7 R. Lowell
8 Snodgrass
9 Pound
10 Sandburg
I visited amazon, and, surprisingly, found the complete works of some of these, in kindle, for free. Others, ones I was totally unfamiliar with, wanted as much as $45 per, and not even complete, collections. Yeah... no. Some were inexpensive, as little as $.99. I gobbled up a number of them. A few I could only find in paperback. If they were inexpensive enough, I added them to my basket for some future time. The only one I might pull the plug on, and spend a bit more for a complete, and hardcover, would be Poe. We go wayyyyy back. I was reading his works before he was writing them, in a weird and Doomish way. *wink*
Now, when will I begin? I can't say. I am about smack in the middle of the epics of Dante, about a third the way through Haiku (or such), and I am what and who I am. Time isn't quite what it seems, which... well... don't you worry. Still, in time, I will begin. I will probably go with one or two of the bigger names (to my ears)... Frost, Dickens, and Whitman would be the top candidates. While, Poe, of course... I have covered Poe so well that... And, yet, he is definitely added back into the queue.
Why? Edumacation, lads and lasses, edumacation. This is one area I... never allowed myself to explore, save in an offhand way with Poe (horror) and Shakespeare (if only personally and privately). I had my reasons. I had much to sort. I could not be seen as... more... problematic than I already was. Secrets protect us, secrets keep us safe. Especially when so small. Now I can finish my education, in this area. Or... start it? If this goes well, I may begin adding in foreign poets. I will be careful, however. I am not interests in some so-called poets. Rappers are NOT poets. I will go more global, however. English, what of some foreign translate well enough, and maybe pushing the envelope a bit. Why? It is time. As well, I have hopes my language skills might improve. I probably can't bump them all that much, but... maybe. Ah, and stories. In the end, that is all that remains here. More might go on, the soul, or spirit converted to soul. But here, in the fallen realm, all that will remain, for as long as it remains, are stories.
Oh... Snodgrass? I had always thought that was a joke name, maybe even about a fictional poet. I think I spoke with Michael about it before. Noting my humorous reaction to the name, and suggesting just what I noted here. I never went on to realize the reality, and the name sunk back to fiction and funny... until this. Will I never learn? Sometimes, of course not. Having too much fun until I am forced to rewrite the wiring harness around some tiddlybits.
Later.
Up, up, and awake.
.
.
Mostly. Yes, days and nights are mixed, but days are sort of on the way back into the drivers seat. Waking just now, a bit before 3:00, yesterday around midnight, and the pattern has more slowly been heading in that direction for a while. I have learned that, in the more extreme weather periods... either too hot or too dark, I can't so easily hold days and nights to regularity, not without a woman around. At least most of the time. I have gotten better in several ways though. I can more usefully use the time I am awake, more often than not. And as I more successfully use that time, it almost invariably brings me back to a day pattern even on my own. I am, however, still a bit in shut down mode. Between appliances, cleaning, snow removal, minor injury, and financial stress, I am... not at prime, or even close. Still, I am aiming the bow for better waters, praying, and hoping. I have faith.
As to the attempt at taking my home, I simply pray for them. I am pretty sure what is going on with it. Typical crony corruption, possibly union hurt feelings, Zero's admin making one last strike at as many veterans as possible, directly or by his sort who are employed through government bureaucracies, and don't forget crony capital greed. Government approved businesses are just as bad as any tyranny because they are covered by the government. Washing each other's hands of each other's doings won't save either. Still, I even hope people like Manson, Stalin, and Ted Kennedy repented before they died. I don't know if Manson had ever been taught right, but the others (if you believe Jesuits can teach right, in Stalin's case) had been taught. Pray for them. No matter what, I have faith that God will see me to where His will requires me. Even if they steal the 10~12 k I have stored in this home, that... is just money. I'm not going to risk my soul with rage about dollars.
Oh, about Dante. Okay... I had only, if I hadn't written, read the first book before. I didn't even realize until recently, that there were two other books. Perhaps I had forgotten. Perhaps that first book had been so much, in my young teens, that I buried the memory. It is a hell of a read, even with unit intros and end of unit explanations. However, if you want a dense piece of read, there you go!
And, while I truly do not like poetry, this is... so much more. It is ancient history, mythology, religious understandings and beliefs of that time, writing tricks, allusions, and every sort of literary mechanic probably known to man. Did I mention dense? If you want to boost your language comprehension and other reading and literary thinking skills by a ton, drop this book on your lap and muscle through. You cannot win, but in losing you will not be defeated. Between Shakespeare, Dante, and J.R.R. Tolkien, I could be satisfied that men have done what they could, literarily. Literarily? I mean, that is as great as men can do in the gathering of information and wisdom, and using that as a basis for written art. Fiction? Is wisdom always literal? Is fact not often fiction? There are reasons for such forms, but not as a cloak, merely as shiny a mirror of the true Light as men may produce in written form.
I mean, I am loving the other book, and will like the last one I suspect. It is a brutal read. Not even I can win. Without the extras, I would often miss some of the finer pieces, as any great gothic work. Gothic? Maybe. I'm saying so, you may disagree at your leisure. It is so different, though, that I am able to read the book of haiku masters as an aside and not lose my place. Haiku and Dante are polar opposites, which detracts not one, at all, from the other. Oh, and while I despise poetry, I do believe, after this... I am going to be looking for collections from other, if mostly American, poets. Frost, Whitman(?), and a few others. I haven't truly made a list, just... I think it is time.
One last thing, if on another topic... watch your groceries! I have, in this last year, but realizing for longer if not so badly... they are selling really out-of-date products. Often in sales. I bought something a few months ago, without looking. Several items, I try to stock up on things I like if I catch a sale. The first item tasted funny... checked the date... like June, 2013! And I have been running into that a LOT. Now, if I don't see a date, and I check everything, I don't buy it. Actually, I might start picking out things that are that far out of date and taking them up to the checkout, and asking to speak to a manager. If I hit three like that, at a store, within six months, I'm going to have to drop them. I really am beginning to think that is a corporate decision, though it might just be a store cutting corners. The world has changed. Hopefully some of it can be unchanged. Just... watch your food and sell-by dates. If it's a week off, and it's canned, and you don't care? I guess that's your choice. But a few years off is into the danger zone.
I am going to attempt to fast today and up until supper tomorrow. Then begin daily fasting after that, again. I have quit adding sweeteners to my tea, and am down to just plain tea. It is taking time, but I am moving heaven and earth, in my little ways, to direct my health and eating and work in a better direction. Life is pain, but in that pain is opportunity. Each breath, a chance, for hope, faith, and charity. Not to dismiss the cardinal virtues, which I intend to study (thank you Dante, thank you very much), which are prudence, justice, fortitude, and temperance.
Good morning, and day.
.
Mostly. Yes, days and nights are mixed, but days are sort of on the way back into the drivers seat. Waking just now, a bit before 3:00, yesterday around midnight, and the pattern has more slowly been heading in that direction for a while. I have learned that, in the more extreme weather periods... either too hot or too dark, I can't so easily hold days and nights to regularity, not without a woman around. At least most of the time. I have gotten better in several ways though. I can more usefully use the time I am awake, more often than not. And as I more successfully use that time, it almost invariably brings me back to a day pattern even on my own. I am, however, still a bit in shut down mode. Between appliances, cleaning, snow removal, minor injury, and financial stress, I am... not at prime, or even close. Still, I am aiming the bow for better waters, praying, and hoping. I have faith.
As to the attempt at taking my home, I simply pray for them. I am pretty sure what is going on with it. Typical crony corruption, possibly union hurt feelings, Zero's admin making one last strike at as many veterans as possible, directly or by his sort who are employed through government bureaucracies, and don't forget crony capital greed. Government approved businesses are just as bad as any tyranny because they are covered by the government. Washing each other's hands of each other's doings won't save either. Still, I even hope people like Manson, Stalin, and Ted Kennedy repented before they died. I don't know if Manson had ever been taught right, but the others (if you believe Jesuits can teach right, in Stalin's case) had been taught. Pray for them. No matter what, I have faith that God will see me to where His will requires me. Even if they steal the 10~12 k I have stored in this home, that... is just money. I'm not going to risk my soul with rage about dollars.
Oh, about Dante. Okay... I had only, if I hadn't written, read the first book before. I didn't even realize until recently, that there were two other books. Perhaps I had forgotten. Perhaps that first book had been so much, in my young teens, that I buried the memory. It is a hell of a read, even with unit intros and end of unit explanations. However, if you want a dense piece of read, there you go!
And, while I truly do not like poetry, this is... so much more. It is ancient history, mythology, religious understandings and beliefs of that time, writing tricks, allusions, and every sort of literary mechanic probably known to man. Did I mention dense? If you want to boost your language comprehension and other reading and literary thinking skills by a ton, drop this book on your lap and muscle through. You cannot win, but in losing you will not be defeated. Between Shakespeare, Dante, and J.R.R. Tolkien, I could be satisfied that men have done what they could, literarily. Literarily? I mean, that is as great as men can do in the gathering of information and wisdom, and using that as a basis for written art. Fiction? Is wisdom always literal? Is fact not often fiction? There are reasons for such forms, but not as a cloak, merely as shiny a mirror of the true Light as men may produce in written form.
I mean, I am loving the other book, and will like the last one I suspect. It is a brutal read. Not even I can win. Without the extras, I would often miss some of the finer pieces, as any great gothic work. Gothic? Maybe. I'm saying so, you may disagree at your leisure. It is so different, though, that I am able to read the book of haiku masters as an aside and not lose my place. Haiku and Dante are polar opposites, which detracts not one, at all, from the other. Oh, and while I despise poetry, I do believe, after this... I am going to be looking for collections from other, if mostly American, poets. Frost, Whitman(?), and a few others. I haven't truly made a list, just... I think it is time.
One last thing, if on another topic... watch your groceries! I have, in this last year, but realizing for longer if not so badly... they are selling really out-of-date products. Often in sales. I bought something a few months ago, without looking. Several items, I try to stock up on things I like if I catch a sale. The first item tasted funny... checked the date... like June, 2013! And I have been running into that a LOT. Now, if I don't see a date, and I check everything, I don't buy it. Actually, I might start picking out things that are that far out of date and taking them up to the checkout, and asking to speak to a manager. If I hit three like that, at a store, within six months, I'm going to have to drop them. I really am beginning to think that is a corporate decision, though it might just be a store cutting corners. The world has changed. Hopefully some of it can be unchanged. Just... watch your food and sell-by dates. If it's a week off, and it's canned, and you don't care? I guess that's your choice. But a few years off is into the danger zone.
I am going to attempt to fast today and up until supper tomorrow. Then begin daily fasting after that, again. I have quit adding sweeteners to my tea, and am down to just plain tea. It is taking time, but I am moving heaven and earth, in my little ways, to direct my health and eating and work in a better direction. Life is pain, but in that pain is opportunity. Each breath, a chance, for hope, faith, and charity. Not to dismiss the cardinal virtues, which I intend to study (thank you Dante, thank you very much), which are prudence, justice, fortitude, and temperance.
Good morning, and day.
Friday, January 13, 2017
Troubles on top of woes.
.
.
The internet was down. No excuse, just the reason. We had some nasty weather this week. I thought perhaps the whole system went down, or hereabouts. Though it often chokes when it rains. I thought it might be something with my wiring. Nope and nope. Just some jiggly shuffle on their side. Fixed and all going. A new router that is supposed to be better, a reset on the wi-fi... Hmm. Awesome! Not having the internet was a bit annoying. I was rather patient, but then... I was simply being patient. The tech was cool, and just fixed it. Gratitude aplenty.
I finally received the form for automatic billing on my house. The same day I received notice that they are starting foreclosure. I can pay the balance, not sure I can afford the lawyer fees. They said they had to apply to the lawyer to find out how much that is. So, I may lose the house anyway. They kept trying to get me to apply for some sort of government assistance, or force me to pay online. I refused, for a number of reasons. I don't need assistance, and I don't trust online payments (with them, on their site). Crooked bastards, start to stop. I guess they decided if they couldn't force me to be cheated one way or the other, they would clobber via a third party (or on top of it). I am supposed to call them on the 17th. I'll ask some people to remind me.
What have I been doing? Reading, mostly. A bit of gaming, but that just wasn't all that fun. A book of haiku by three of the (or THE) old masters and nearing the end of Dante's Purgatoria. I had been stoved on reading, until the outage, so there was that. Well, and wi-fi should be functional now... if I am not sure I really trust it. Still, I'd like to see about it, so as to consider a tablet or laptop, if I can find a linux device. I don't trust google devices either. Well, or a book reader. I'm using my smart phone, but I need to get out of that. Probably just go to landline, assuming I'll be able to wrangle the house back. Ugh.
We did have one heavy, if not massive, snow. I dug out from it. Three to four inches, but wet, wet, wet. Nasty. That bit of work did me in. My pinky didn't bug me until about half way through, then it was brutal. I had to use it, I had to finish. It's still sore. It's looking better, but still nearly one and an half it's normal size. It's too swollen, for example, to get finger nail clippers in for a trim. Yeah.
Well, back. I'll write more soon. Just laying down a brief and then... doing something else. Later.
.
The internet was down. No excuse, just the reason. We had some nasty weather this week. I thought perhaps the whole system went down, or hereabouts. Though it often chokes when it rains. I thought it might be something with my wiring. Nope and nope. Just some jiggly shuffle on their side. Fixed and all going. A new router that is supposed to be better, a reset on the wi-fi... Hmm. Awesome! Not having the internet was a bit annoying. I was rather patient, but then... I was simply being patient. The tech was cool, and just fixed it. Gratitude aplenty.
I finally received the form for automatic billing on my house. The same day I received notice that they are starting foreclosure. I can pay the balance, not sure I can afford the lawyer fees. They said they had to apply to the lawyer to find out how much that is. So, I may lose the house anyway. They kept trying to get me to apply for some sort of government assistance, or force me to pay online. I refused, for a number of reasons. I don't need assistance, and I don't trust online payments (with them, on their site). Crooked bastards, start to stop. I guess they decided if they couldn't force me to be cheated one way or the other, they would clobber via a third party (or on top of it). I am supposed to call them on the 17th. I'll ask some people to remind me.
What have I been doing? Reading, mostly. A bit of gaming, but that just wasn't all that fun. A book of haiku by three of the (or THE) old masters and nearing the end of Dante's Purgatoria. I had been stoved on reading, until the outage, so there was that. Well, and wi-fi should be functional now... if I am not sure I really trust it. Still, I'd like to see about it, so as to consider a tablet or laptop, if I can find a linux device. I don't trust google devices either. Well, or a book reader. I'm using my smart phone, but I need to get out of that. Probably just go to landline, assuming I'll be able to wrangle the house back. Ugh.
We did have one heavy, if not massive, snow. I dug out from it. Three to four inches, but wet, wet, wet. Nasty. That bit of work did me in. My pinky didn't bug me until about half way through, then it was brutal. I had to use it, I had to finish. It's still sore. It's looking better, but still nearly one and an half it's normal size. It's too swollen, for example, to get finger nail clippers in for a trim. Yeah.
Well, back. I'll write more soon. Just laying down a brief and then... doing something else. Later.
Monday, January 9, 2017
Something something.
.
.
Yeah, I got salt out and spread it. That's a lot of drive and a bit of sidewalk... did what I could. It had stopped raining while I was doing that, which was right after that last post. I should buy sand, too, to mix with it. Or a salt and sand mix? I'll keep pure salt on hand as well, but a mix might be better sometimes. Especially if, as I suspect, this rain over snow will turn into a sheet of ice.
After that I boiled a dozen eggs. I cut several minutes off the cooking time and almost half off the unheated cook time. If the whites are done, and they were, I suspected the centers would be done. I'll find out in a bit. I ate the first batch, which was too much I think. Now I have a belly ache as a child who ate too many sweets might.
I don't know if I will get much more done. I would like to get the trash collected and out. To be honest though, I don't have much trash. I haven't been eating or tinkering or cleaning or... anything. I simply, in truth, only have, perhaps, a single bag to go out, all told. I may get that out but I don't know that it's worth the bother to hike it to the curb. Actually, I am sure it isn't. I will clean out the fridge while I am at it though.
Doh, that stomach is really giving me fits. Too much food, or is it just eggs? They were good, just... I haven't been eating much at all. Eggs are a weird food and I overdid to boot. Bleh. Later.
.
Yeah, I got salt out and spread it. That's a lot of drive and a bit of sidewalk... did what I could. It had stopped raining while I was doing that, which was right after that last post. I should buy sand, too, to mix with it. Or a salt and sand mix? I'll keep pure salt on hand as well, but a mix might be better sometimes. Especially if, as I suspect, this rain over snow will turn into a sheet of ice.
After that I boiled a dozen eggs. I cut several minutes off the cooking time and almost half off the unheated cook time. If the whites are done, and they were, I suspected the centers would be done. I'll find out in a bit. I ate the first batch, which was too much I think. Now I have a belly ache as a child who ate too many sweets might.
I don't know if I will get much more done. I would like to get the trash collected and out. To be honest though, I don't have much trash. I haven't been eating or tinkering or cleaning or... anything. I simply, in truth, only have, perhaps, a single bag to go out, all told. I may get that out but I don't know that it's worth the bother to hike it to the curb. Actually, I am sure it isn't. I will clean out the fridge while I am at it though.
Doh, that stomach is really giving me fits. Too much food, or is it just eggs? They were good, just... I haven't been eating much at all. Eggs are a weird food and I overdid to boot. Bleh. Later.
I think, when I work to much, or am healing, I drop.
.
.
I don't drop a bit, I can drop like a rock. It isn't just physical. My mind is still working, but only on the inside. I did figure out my egg boiling problem. It simply takes a lot longer to cook in the winter. Look, duh, but also, not so much. It was a lot longer, not a bit longer... going from getting the pan to a boil, then shutting it off for about ten minutes, to boiling for ten minutes, shutting it off and then letting it sit for twenty minutes. That is a massive difference, both in heat output over time, and time itself. Now, I wasn't able to get the eggs to be soft boiled, so I can back the time off... maybe to ten minutes steam time? Ugh.
I was starting to think the eggs were all just bad. For whatever reason, I decided, to day, to just push all parameters and see if it really was just me, or the technique/timing, or if it was the eggs somehow. In part, cracking an egg open and having it not be boiled leaves something that is... horror inducing. Or to me. Fixed. Now I will do up a dozen and an half eggs for simple eating. And, next time I get to town, I'll buy fresh(tm) eggs to make homemade mayo. I want to make a plate of deviled eggs. It's... sort of thematic here. *grins* It's not the notion that souls equate to souls, for me, it's that the devil loves souls, and I like helping stealing them from his plate. The devil's devil, since God just doesn't go there? Mayhap, Paddywhack, give the dog... a deviled egg?
Yeah. Oh, a nasty thing with weather. It snowed not long ago. Yesterday? Today? I've been fuzzy lately, of mind and time. Anyway, I kept meaning to get out, when I could remember the need, but it didn't happen. Guess what it is doing now? Raining! Oh, crap. It's going to get nasty out there. Hmm... Might just grab some salt, sprinkle that around, if I can do that before it freezes again. GAH! I am so baked, I just can't... figure it out. I'll keep trying to try? Later.
.
I don't drop a bit, I can drop like a rock. It isn't just physical. My mind is still working, but only on the inside. I did figure out my egg boiling problem. It simply takes a lot longer to cook in the winter. Look, duh, but also, not so much. It was a lot longer, not a bit longer... going from getting the pan to a boil, then shutting it off for about ten minutes, to boiling for ten minutes, shutting it off and then letting it sit for twenty minutes. That is a massive difference, both in heat output over time, and time itself. Now, I wasn't able to get the eggs to be soft boiled, so I can back the time off... maybe to ten minutes steam time? Ugh.
I was starting to think the eggs were all just bad. For whatever reason, I decided, to day, to just push all parameters and see if it really was just me, or the technique/timing, or if it was the eggs somehow. In part, cracking an egg open and having it not be boiled leaves something that is... horror inducing. Or to me. Fixed. Now I will do up a dozen and an half eggs for simple eating. And, next time I get to town, I'll buy fresh(tm) eggs to make homemade mayo. I want to make a plate of deviled eggs. It's... sort of thematic here. *grins* It's not the notion that souls equate to souls, for me, it's that the devil loves souls, and I like helping stealing them from his plate. The devil's devil, since God just doesn't go there? Mayhap, Paddywhack, give the dog... a deviled egg?
Yeah. Oh, a nasty thing with weather. It snowed not long ago. Yesterday? Today? I've been fuzzy lately, of mind and time. Anyway, I kept meaning to get out, when I could remember the need, but it didn't happen. Guess what it is doing now? Raining! Oh, crap. It's going to get nasty out there. Hmm... Might just grab some salt, sprinkle that around, if I can do that before it freezes again. GAH! I am so baked, I just can't... figure it out. I'll keep trying to try? Later.
Sunday, January 8, 2017
I'm simply not functioning.
.
.
I'm not tired, physically. I don't hurt. I simply can't focus, again. I am keeping water at bay. I eat from time to time. I am sleeping well. I am keeping warm enough. I just can't get to things.
I am motivated. I want milk and cream, and am running out of butter. I want to get out just to get out. I want to work. I like working. I am getting bottlenosed at several points in my upkeep plans around here. Gah! It isn't a matter of not trying, it's more not even being able to realize... I'm not realizing. Or... something close to that.
Oh well. I'll... keep trying to keep it all on my mind. It's all I can do for now. Later.
.
I'm not tired, physically. I don't hurt. I simply can't focus, again. I am keeping water at bay. I eat from time to time. I am sleeping well. I am keeping warm enough. I just can't get to things.
I am motivated. I want milk and cream, and am running out of butter. I want to get out just to get out. I want to work. I like working. I am getting bottlenosed at several points in my upkeep plans around here. Gah! It isn't a matter of not trying, it's more not even being able to realize... I'm not realizing. Or... something close to that.
Oh well. I'll... keep trying to keep it all on my mind. It's all I can do for now. Later.
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