I didn't nap.

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I was just certain it would burn all the work I have done to develop a day schedule.  It has been... a month, or two maybe, of work to get to being awake before dawn (until this morning for reasons I still don't understand).  And, then being awake until 18:00 to 20:00 or so.  That was a rough long hard tug.  But I got there.  Just didn't want to relinquish it.

There is no reason for it.  I am just... waiting to die.  Then again, I have been waiting for 35 years, since falling in.  And, really, even since I was a child... around seven I realized death was the last thing I would do, here.  I began waiting for it, to some degree, then.  No push for it, just and understanding that it was coming.  I didn't like that answer, but began settling with it.

Still, it's... being on and off my deathbed for the last thirty five years, and mostly on it, I don't have a great deal of worry.  I suspect I can make it another thirty five years.  Might even take on a wife, if I could find the right woman.  Children would be... interesting.  Troubling, difficult, and else.  But... watching a small one grow into an adult, then get off my porch?  I'd do it, if possible.  Maybe a small gang of tuffs.

Anyway, up.  Still.  Will probably see about making something to eat.  Perhaps a bit more kefir.  See if kefir is ready to flip.  Take care of Sassy.  Oh... I didn't make my bed.  Was in a hurry to dress and get to the door.  Bleh.  I'll go up, make the bed, and set the electric blanket to warming the bedroll.  Nice.  Then take care of Sassy, then myself.

Feeling a bit better.  But am growing weary.  It's cool, was 18 much earlier.  It was 12 just recently.  Cool?  No, that's... cold.

I am not going to eat much more.  Last time I was at the store, I picked up another butternut squash, and two acorn squashes.  I... can't remember what acorn squashes taste like?  I'll find out tonight.  I split and seeded on, then put it in to the oven.  Once you get used to cutting them, and don't lose a limb or digit, they aren't too difficult to prepare.  And cooking is literally just turning on the oven, turning it on, setting a timer, and checking it until it is done, if it isn't finished when the timer rings.  

The only downside is waiting.  There is, however, a good side to the down side?  Yes!  Smelling it bake.  At least the other two dispersed and aroma that was wonderful.  I didn't add butter, or brown sugar, just put them in.  Let them bake.  Like... cookies!  The smell is wonderful.  Maybe a hint of pumpkin pie?  Oh, it was wonderful.  Especially, now that the oven is clean, I am keeping up on the foil replacement in there.  Or even it begins to put off a skunky odor.  So, I am getting the smells, as if from a fresh, even new, oven.

Ah, that's nice.

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I did get in and check my mortgage.  It looks like it was paid on the first, the one time.  So... I checked on the automatic payment.  Can't do more this month, obviously, with two payments going in.  But I arranged for the automatic payment to be sent the 8th, just at minimum payment.  So... will check the 8th.  If it doesn't show, I'll check Monday.

While tinkering with these things, I noticed there is a cola adjustment coming up.  This year it is... larger than usual.  No thanks to Biden.  Because of him, and the increase in inflation.  But it was automatic.  If he could have stopped it, he would have.  Surprised he didn't try.  Anyway... That?  Will go directly to the bill.  And a little extra, on top of the extra I had been putting out.  So, I will, in the end, be nearly doubling my payment.  That will severely cut the length of the loan, and the amount of interest paid.  Still, I keep... thinking... a few more hundred, if I could do it, would pay it off a few years even shorter, and cut interest from $60k to $12~$14k.  If, too, that would mean living dry and light.

Though, thinking about after?  That would be $1200 freed up, a month, for savings.  To be spent on the house.  Save it for a few years, then do a few big projects?  That assumes the furnace holds, nothing else major becomes an expense, and else.  Could I save anything else, after that?  I don't know.  That would be so very tight.  I'm talking living on nickels, dimes on solid months, pennies on more difficult months.  But... maybe... it... might be possible.

Still, they didn't catch me off-guard, or even screw up my current program.  Thinking on it.  I would have to give up a lot of things.  Just how worth it would that bet?  Well, twenty two years shorter (minus 2 and an half already out of the program), and say thirty six k fewer dollars out the door, and in that less time?  Sure might be worth it.  Dunno if I can do it though.  Will... be contemplating.  Will be doubling the mortgage, next month, though.  But two and an half?  Dunno, dunno.  We'll see.  Later.

A bit on the rough side.

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Arteries, in the neck, ache.  A slight headache.  An upset stomach.  Kefir usually helps with that latter, but not so much today.  No worries.  I'll just ease through until life improves.  Won't be able to push or shove through, but will make it through.

Gaming, at the moment.  Hope to get to dishes.  Had a bite to eat, beside kefir.  That didn't help either.  Sometimes it will, with or without kefir.  It didn't make it worse, so it's not really a g.i. thing, it's... some... chemical thing.  At least I have some food in me.  That does help work anything else through.

It is about 18 out there.  So, yeah, chilly.  I thought about getting a nap in, but I don't think that would be good.  I still can't believe I slept so late!  That just doesn't make any sense whatsoever.  

Mostly just gaming.  But my ability to focus sucks, and keeping on keeping on is difficult.  And, yet, there is nothing else, currently, I could do successfully.  Well, maybe sleep, but I don't want to do that.  Then again, not so sure that is a choice.  I may go on up, turn the electric blanket on, and see if I can keep it to a few hours.

I think, come to think about it, I know what the 'Picasso' thing was about, in the dream.  A video, long ago, about Dr. Who and Picasso, I think?  Maybe, something like that, perhaps?  Of course, she would know of no such thing, so it was just in my mind.  Even if my brother knows of my blog, he wouldn't share it with his girls, or even visit himself.  Or very rarely.  He would fear my blog, terribly.  So, just... a dream.

I will see what people are talking about, online.  Then set the blanket to warming, game a bit longer, than hopefully nap.  Good afternoon and day.

Up so very late.

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I even went to bed early, around 20:00?  I think so.  I heard the doorbell.  Was going to ignore it, since it didn't make... sense?  It must have drawn me out of a very deep slumber.  Nothing made sense.  Had to figure out... I knew there was something, that if I fumbled with it, would... give me information.  The alarm clock.  Tells time, and date, and... other things.  Saturday?  Ah.

Dairy had arrived.  So, I... figured out how to get... up, but had to dress and then get down.  So I sent a text, that I was on my way, and dressed as quickly as possible.  Got a response, but I was too busy going to stop and read it.  The door was locked because usually I am up by... 3:00?  Lately, five, or six some odd mornings if I go to bed late.

Not sure why I slept so late.  I do know I was dearly tired last night, sleepy.  I wanted to game just a bit before bed, but couldn't keep my eyes open.  Perhaps what I had done yesterday had totally wore me out?  Shouldn't have, but, then, that is the most I have done in... a fairly long time.  I really am at the bottom of the barrel as to activities.  Have been for a while.

Very good.

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Trying to stay on top of things.  Not doing terribly.  This, that, the other thing.

Groceries managed, for a while.  Water heater back to heating water.  Order placed, for milk.  Did I ask for eggs?  If not, I'll order them next week.  Beard trimmed, a bit too much.  I think I prefer it a bit longer than too neat.  A fuller beard, even to ragged, is far superior to a gay beard.  Well, too neat is dandy material.  Queer or not, it looks funny.  Back to shaggy.  Difficult not to obsess about it though.  Still, other than on the neck, the rest will be allowed to roam where it may, for a while.

I did call my mother.  I called my brother, left a message.  No return so far.

The bed was torn down this morning, and allowed to air.  Then put back together just a bit ago.  Made, and the electric blanket set to go.  A fresh bed, recently rolled, reset, and warm.  Should be a good sleep.

Kefir was reset today and tonight.  Probably tomorrow too.  I will always order three gallons of milk, going forward.  I did, finally, break down and buy more milk this week.  Had to.  The kefir was hitting too dry of a spell, and I didn't have enough milk.  Two just won't do.  Oh well, I tried.

On to bed.  I should sleep very well.  Good evening, day, and night.

To the store, and back.

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It was bad out there.  The roads.  Nasty.  A thick underlay of ice.  I didn't push it.  And, if someone ahead wanted to go slow, I let them.  Except one case.  But she was going 15 on a regular 55 that other cars were taking at 40 to 45.  No.  I went around her, and a bit hot about it.  No... aggressive driving, just a hard look.  If you can't drive faster than 15, don't get on the damned road!  There are limits.

To the store.  There are some things my original store does well.  So, they won't be completely booted.  But, some things, no.  I am now attached to two stores, one closer, with meats I don't trust (their pork is fine, but chicken and some cuts are too much or not good, to my way of thinking).  The other one?  Well, there are advantages to each.  I will use both.

And, I did, today.  I should have enough meat for a while.  Still, if toward the end of the month, or next month, I may stock up if I have it.  Meat is only going up.  And quickly.  Fifty cents extra a pound, on any given month or every other month, never going down.  I can't keep up with it.

The chicken, in both stores seems to be on sale.  Loads of it.  No one is touching it.  For the reasons I have expressed.  It is old, very old.  They might repackage it, change the dates, whatever, but by taste I can tell.  I am not the only one.  They had halved the price, in one store, and had out reams of chicken platters.  Not one was gone.  I saw others approach it, with big eyes, only to then, like me, get a funny, disgusted, look on their faces, remembering their last chicken meal, and turn away.  At least I wasn't the only one.  I tossed the last, unopened, package of chicken.  I simply can't even choke it down.  The spices, and brining, helped.  Not enough.  I wouldn't feed that to animals.  Not ones I like.

I had thought about eating out, but no.  I did get the suv washed.  A new place.  He asked if I wanted to sign up, they have a really good deal.  I guess discretionary is seeing membership dumps.  Possibly service, and attitude, and else too?  I told him about the problems I had with the previous shop.  I told him I would try their shop, several times.  If I have no problems, then I might sign up.  Customer is first.  And, if that fails, fuck around and find out.  I don't need any given car wash, or deal.  I used to just wash it every three to six months.  Joined and did it more often, but still only biweekly (as in every other, that word means both twice a week and every other week, queer, innit?).  :p

I can go back to once ever two to four months.  I don't expect much.  Just don't smirk at me, and don't fuck up my vehicle.  Treat me square, straight, white, clean, and neat, and we will do business.  Otherwise, eat dirt and die.  It isn't just business, but that is the main part.

It did warm.  The ice is coming off.  But it's a spooky drive out there even now.  Though, I think, by tomorrow, the roads should be clear.  Even if we got more snow, it would just be snow.  There must have been nearly an inch of ice under the snow, on some of those roads.

Well... it's time.  For something?  Not quite.  Later.

Up a bit late.

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For tinkering, then cleaning up, then setting dishes to a last go, I couldn't just go to bed.  When I push, and shove, to get at things, I have to come down before I can sleep.  It was nearly midnight.  Between a quarter and half to, leastways.  But I slept so very well.  I thought... I heard it raining?  Couldn't have been.  Just the wind ruslting leaves?  I was just about to seriously contemplate it when I stopped contemplating anything.  Uhm... warm bed.

Dreams of women, and storms, and mercy.  Rage too.  The temple, down she came.  Sampson?  My brother of another mother.  And father?  Kin though.

I heard Sassy down, doing... something.  I called to her.  See if she would visit.  Then I realized what the sound was.  Sassy doesn't do that.  Shoveling?  It must have snowed.  I looked out, just couldn't see well enough.  But I could see someone doing something like shoveling.

Up!  So slow, they had hit the front of the drive.  The back stoop at least.  But then I heard the machine.  To plow the rest.  I was finally dressed.  So peaked out, and gave a hearty hello, thanks, and just a bit of banter as is our wont.  I kept it short.  He has more to do.  Five inches, or that is what is down.  Given that it was 43 yesterday (at least) evening/night, and raining, if we have five inches down we got a lot more snow than that.  Just before it would stick, it would have to refreeze the ground, partly ice the rain up, then begin layering.  Though, if it is really fluffy, it's not all that.

Anyway, up earlier than I had thought I might be, given bedtime.  About 06:30?  Give or take a quarter.  I just can't be sure.  Just that it is 7:10 as I started this, eighteen after as I finish, if I started water heating, and did a few other things while digitally penning this.

Checked the hot water, in the middle of writing, too.  It is working.  Very fresh, very hot.  Hotter than when I took my shower yesterday.  Maybe something peculiar went through the wire, and tripped something?  A near brown or black out rolled through?  An odd current?  Don't know.  But it is working, currently, for now.  Will definitely be... keeping an eye and ear open for any problems.  Actually, it is warmer than it has been in a while.  It was as if it was sliding down in water warmth.  Will see if it easily lasts a whole shower today.  I was down to just hot water at the end, yesterday.

Best have some coffee, then brush the teeth.  Have things to do.  Thankfully, if I need to get out, that is possible.  Crazy lot of snow, and in a strange hurry.  Will take it, of course.  Oh, best check the front.  Open the sidewalk if they didn't.  No packages to arrive, today, but don't want that to freeze up, or down.  No complaint.  Just... a) if undone, gives me something to do, b) tending a bit on my own is good, and c) might have a snowball fight with myself.  Takes a wicked curveball, or a math and physics background... what goes up, must come down, put simply.  :p

Later.

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Nope.  They got the front sidewalk too.  All good.  Just thought I might have been able to scoop them.  :p  Ah well, and all very good.  Won't complain, to be certain.  

Yes!

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A shower.  It did start cooling, but lasted through a rather long shower on a cold night.  Is it losing, no pun intended, some steam?  I'm not sure.  I will be resetting dishes shortly.  I just wanted to rest a bit, after an extended time in there.  Clean!  I love being clean.

It was very hot, to start.  But cooled a bit, as mentioned.  Then again, the tank had gone cold.  It had only been given fifteen minutes, to an half hour, to warm.  And warming a full, cold, tank... We will see, in the next few days.  If it stays lit, if it holds temp better, all good.  I have a spare one down there.  From the last time I thought it was failing.  Just need to switch it over.

Still?  Even if for a day, I... am pleased I was actually able to sort this out.  Just this once, maybe.  And, maybe not permanent.  But I got a shower, and will set up dishes.

I had been thinking of gaming, a bit, in order to let my hair dry.  I just don't think so.  Not going to happen.  Too tired.  Just getting the dishes reset is going to be it.  Just had to brag about actually getting a shower in, for all my good works.  Good night and goodnight.

Wow, something in my doings worked.

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For now.  I can't say I fixed it.  I don't know what caused the need for a reset.  Or for the fuse box to be cycled.  Or... whatever else I may have done.  All I know is I have hot water back in the house.  So, in just a short bit, a shower.  I won't do dishes, it has gotten too late.  But, after the shower, I will reset them.  I drained them, just now.  Will put them back to a soapy soak over the night, hit them in the morning.

I had been texting the neighbor.  Hadn't heard anything back.  I did send him a text, anyway, letting him know the problem, for now, has been sorted.  A shower will be quite nice.  Meant to have one yesterday.  Though I think the water seemed cold then, too.  That isn't why I didn't get to it?  But that would have stopped the process.  That water was, while not truly cold, it wasn't warm, just room temp?  Or a bit less?  Maybe a bit more?  Not to be showered in, in winter.

I'm just glad I got it!  Goodnight.

Not getting to much.

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Just... haven't.  Well, in part because I have been working with the water heater.

I looked up the panel, with the fuses.  Mainly to see how to remove them, if only really to check them.  But, in reviewing the information, I realized it wasn't the fuses.  There is a subpanel just for that.  Now, I haven't checked the main box, yet.  However, I did read the manual, and found a bit that might help.

The information wouldn't explain why it stopped working.  But it might have proven to be a solution to fixing it.  Or... this time.  A reset button.  Especially since I changed the water temp.  I had both top and bottom at 150, F.  I was sure I had changed that, when installed.  So, has someone messed with the temps since?  Don't know, but it's odd.

I add cold water with it, when shower.  But, yes, I can handle rather... warm water.  Not boiling water, anymore.  But I can handle rather hot water.  At 150, full blast, it won't scald me.  Though I prefer some cold water in with it.  They recommend 120, or less.  I'm not even sure that would make for even a warm shower, to my thinking.

Anyway.  I found the reset button and clicked it, to a nice satisfying, tactical and audible click.  Then I pushed the lever to turn on the subpanel (wasn't going to play in there with that live, 250 v, at 30 a?  no).  It sounds like the thing started.  Though... who knows.  It sounded like it had been working before.  Just... a stir, or sense... of something.  I'll give it an half hour, check the water.  That should be warmed by then, if... it can be warmed.  Ugh.

Until that gets sorted, dishes, laundry, and showering are on hold.

Quite a wind came up.  Earlier, it was up to 42 F, or so?  Crazy.  Wow!  It's 43 out right now?  Far after sundown, with hefty gusts and a steady wind as well.  Very strange weather.  Humidity is up, too.  Either a southern or warm wind from the west?  Though, wherever it is from, when it hits the valley it may well become distorted.  Not sure where it comes from by where it blows.  Only by the temp, to some degree.  Or so I suspect.

Well... I'll game just a bit.  I turned the electric blanket on.  If the water heater does it's job, I will make sure to shower tonight yet, if that probably also means finishing off a few dishes.  Bleh.  Later, or goodnight.

Well?

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Not getting to things.  Just too dark, too cool, can't quite get going.

I made a small lunch, but didn't care for it.  I ate a few bites.  Meh.

I did order two headsets, about the same price as the three I had ordered before, which seem to have gotten lost in the process.  If these work well, I will, next month, buy another one or two... try them out.  If all work, I'll put a few of them up, keep the others for general use.  Trade them out as they die.

Someone at amazon wanted to reorder the paper plates.  I explained that I had originally ordered them at ~$23.  And, that I was supposed to have the price reduced, once I received it.  I suggested, that should I be able to get it at a similar price, then reordering would be fine.  Otherwise cancel the order.  Actually, if they would keep that price, I suggested I would happily order two.

We'll see if they just go away, if they make a promise (they possibly can't keep), or... what happens.  Curious to see.  Two would be good.  Well into my last box of those.  Would have to go without, I can' afford double and triple the cost.  Won't.

Extra money.

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Two orders, through amazon, for items which were paid ahead, but just weren't moving?  Canceled.  The headsets, and paper plates.  So, about $200 back in my account.  All good.  Though, a small monthly order, and several shoes, to see about size.  Why more shoes?

Well... I had to go through stages.  First, to 13's.  As my feet got into those, I needed more room, on to 14's.  But... that... only lasted a while.  Finally, they expanded to 15's/16's, depending on the brand.  Currently, I have two pair of shoes of the right size.  And a slew of shoes just a bit too small, or very much too small.  Once you have decompressed your feet, from decades of shoes too small, you'll never go back to pinching shoes.

So, three ordered.  Though, they will be checked immediately, and any that are too big, too wide, or too small will go back in days.  But, those were already in.  Those, the small order today, and the minor toiletries and house goods from recently.  Will see how finances go though.  Some of this was done before I realized the mortgage company was trying to skunk me.

The calls have started, again.  Buying my house?  I just put them into a junk file and block them.  I won't bother calling them back, and asking to be taken off the list.  They are just trying to bottom dollar the thing, at best.  More like, just calling around for those who have become unemployed, and have no choice, too.  At this point, they are pigs, rooting about for anything free, cheap, easy.  I'll just erase any messages, and add any other numbers they call through to the junk pile.  Trying to get them on any other sort of spam notification does absolutely no good.  

Between burner phones and compliance from phone companies, that does absolutely no good.  I also have my phone set that their calls won't even ring through.  Can't stop them from leaving a message, but usually just keeping them from ringing through works.  Kills most tele-callers.  A few, once every other week or three, leaves a message.  I just vaporized them and forget.  After adding their number to a blocked contact.  Life has smoothed out, just a bit.  Still a tangle to answer the phone quickly.  But, so be it.  I wonder how much better the phone systems would work without all the spam calls?  But, that would cut into the phone companies bottom line.  Spammers are some of the best, and highest paying, customers.  We are just bait.

It is 36 out there, but still frozen?  Odd.  Elevation has something to do with it.  Perhaps there are other factors... barometric pressure affect freezing and thawing?  Odd, but fine.  It is the way it is.  And, yes, it feels cold.  I should get a shower, shortly.  Trim the whiskers a bit.  Hmm... dishes in the way.

The dishes are mostly done, just want to run them one more time.  Then could get to them.  While resetting them, I'll trim the whiskers.  Game for a bit, say an hour?  Finish them, and either a bit more gaming or on to a shower.  I'll... keep at it.  Later.

Well?

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I decided to put money in savings.  If I need it, I can just undo that.  But, that gives me... a bumper.  Pulling money from savings is a last resort, and often a process the bank does automatically by the time I know it was needed.  It has only happened once, I think, since I have been saving... so six of seven months?  Something like that.

I just love having things paid down, off, out.  And, in short order, within... three to four months, everything extra should be covered.  And, what I was putting on those bills can go into savings as well.

Why did I go into debt?  Food.  Inflation.  I got enough to last me six months to a year, am keeping that stocked, eating lightly from it, but bought it before it got worse.  Or just disappeared.  It might really last a few years.  Eating partly from it, partly from grocery shopping.  Only filling gaps when the prices are right, or finding alternatives.  Couldn't feed a family with it.  Not for long, three months max, and you'd still need meat.  The canned ham would get really old, even after the first one.  Those... weren't very good.  Tuna and other isn't all that great either.  But, put into other things, as recipe items, they could stretch.  A family of four?  Three months, max, and that eating light.  Myself, as mentioned, without being restored, if supplemented with meat and some fresh from the store, several years.  The trick is to keep up, maybe add a bit more.  But not so much anything goes bad.  A heck of a juggling trick.

As well, I have enough tp for a year, paper towels (now that I got a good price, glad too, was almost out), paper plates, even probably six months or more of cat food.  Nothing, out there, has to go wrong.  But, without medication, or even when I could get it, something could go wrong with me.  I might not be able to get out.  Heck, often I can't.  So... it... offers some surety I won't starve to death in my own home.  Or... as close to secure as I can make it.

Always pleased when plans, eventually, come together, are implemented, and work.  Even when ankle biting mortgage companies who try to push their woke shit in my face, and lose if at a cost to me.  Still, I am at a point where I am hardened.  At the fuck around and find out stage.  And... they are finding out.  Oh... I'll have to look around for the state's ag office that handles complaints (covers for these corrupt businesses).  Still, it'll be on record.  On to gaming.  Later.

Payments!

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I checked EVERYTHING.  Two regular bills, to irregulars.  Paid.  Not in full, but in plenty.  Room created.  Utilities paid, and mortgage payment reconfigured, reset, paid today.  And, will reset the recurring payments as soon as this one goes through.  I love having bills paid, early.  No waiting, so see what I have.  Just in case.  Pay them, make sure they are gotten, then deal with what is left.  I know, I know, but for a while, it was so tight I... didn't know how to resolve things well.

It was good to see I had paid some things down.  Not... usually any problems.  Merely, this month will be a bit messy because Freedom Mortgage interfered with my automatic payment program, by refusing to take the payment, then sending me government papers for some sort of leniency.  I don't trust the government, or them.  Probably some sort of reverse buy-back thing, that is round about so you'd never see it coming.

Still, paid.  Done.  Now I can consider some shopping.

I had a cart, ready to go.  But I saw some actual deals on some things I have been needing/wanting.  Prices have continued to go up, to the point people stopped buying, at all.  I haven't bought some of these things for months.  Nearly half a year.  I was looking at alternatives.  I had some in stock, but that was falling.  Probably just going to go without.  But, they popped, for half their, until recently, going prices.  Or less.  So, I ordered what I needed.  Still at a bit of premium, over pre-covid, but inflation (regular inflation) would have seen to that price increase anyway.

I must assume a lot of people have totally backed off as well.  Well, and crypto bros, among others, are getting their asses handed to them.  It's all fun and games until you can't order a case of champagne to shower with, and get that new tat or piercing.  Money for nothing always ends up the same.  Though, where they loading up on tp, paper towels, and such?  Someone was.  Either the rich are stocked, or people like me just quit the game in large enough numbers, or both, that prices are tumbling.  Might go lower, might get jacked up.  They are half trying to curtail demand by overpricing, half working with the demand curve, just never sure what or which.

Even so, I didn't just buy.  I also took things out of the cart to balance.  Lower spending levels, even if the mortgage company hadn't tried to screw me.  I won't even have to dip into savings, if I may not be able to add to savings.  Will see, shortly.  I can't be sure how things are working until I get to, around, the tenth.  After that, there is gas and electric, which will be harsh going forward.  And, maybe, a few other little things.  But, by the tenth, everything automated should be settled... phone, internet, insurance, mortgage (usually, fucknuts!), and such.

Still, now that I have system for paying everything online, or on the phone, and easily, I generally don't get behind.  And, this month, with utilities paid, and been being paid for several months now, I should be able to automate that.  I could never find my checks, or remember to deliver them, or... this is much easier.  And, I don't have to go through facepalm, as I had been told I would.  Bleh.

Still, pretty good.  Might be a tight month, but I'll make it through.  Eat a little less, milk is even mostly paid for.  I'll add some to the kitty, but I am up around a bennie, maybe a frank and bennie?  Somewhere in there.  Still, adding another one of those.  Dang it, five Saturdays (delivery days) this month.  Which means, more like a bennie.  Still... it's working out.  Plus, I started the month with a bit in the bank... not completely broke.  Later.

I like waking early.

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Not late in the day, but early in the real morning.  From three to six is a good time to rise.  Five, this morning.

Making the bed daily.  Going to bed, in what seems a warm embrace, is the only way to fly.  I think that is why sleep has been so good.  I used to think I was getting too warm, so would kick things off.  But?  I think I was feeling the inverse of what was actually happening.  Cold felt like hot, so I would kick things off, and get colder, so not sleep as well.  

How can I tell?  I can't, for certain.  But, two things.  While awake, that happens.  My feet feel cold, when they are actually too warm... or just the opposite.  But, I am awake enough to sort it out.  Why the inversion?  No clue.  Diabetic issue?  From the bad heart?  I... just don't know.

The chicken...

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Brining helped, as did spicing.  But, honestly?  It was old tasting.  I will toss the rest.  The skin was good, but the meat was slightly old, tainted.  I will toss the other package, and won't buy chicken until they get rid of the bottom of the barrel reserves.  Which, from the sounds of things, won't be for a while.

Not sure I believe the bird flu is any more a thing than covid actually was.  It was, in this case, just another means of causing a food scarcity.  Everyone goes along with it, because certain people make money from the process, through the process.  Big enough companies, at worst, write it off.  But, more likely, are priced well given comparative worth, through insurance and government payments.  Just the cost of doing rich business.

Yeah, no good.  Wont' buy chicken for a good six months, or more.

The roasted vegetables were okay.  To be honest, I don't think roasting veggies is the best process.  Save for things like squash.  The carrots, down in the juices, were pretty good though.  That I could do again, regardless of what meat is roasted.  Those were tasty as the dickens.

Fast.

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Beard trimmed, chicken set to a brine, coffee quart jar cleared, cleaned, rinsed, and another one set to soak, fatted coffee made, kefir drawn to drink beside the coffee, litter box cleared, water filter set up and going, kefir jars moved to where I process them... but that will have to wait.  I have to draw down enough kefir to filter the new in.

All good.  All very little jobs, but each a thing that stood in place of other efforts.  Moving along just fine.  Tired.  The little efforts wear me out.  But, I should be back to it when the alarm goes off.  Which reminds me.  I'll get the game going, set a close alarm, as a warning.  Then set the one on the oven.  That one doesn't turn off by itself, so I won't just lose it, if concentrating on the game.  It'll keep annoying me until kingdom comes.  I have to do it that way, when I am this tired.  Stress, from the bill, will cause exhaustion.

Anyway... all good.  A fast start, a lot done, more to do.  Later.

Awake again.

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I went down at or a bit after 20:00.  I just... can't be exactly sure.  Looked at the clock, but short term memory had already clocked out for the day.  Sleep was very good.  Awoke, first, at 04:30.  Didn't feel like getting up quite then.  Not until 5:56, or so, did I see it as time to get up.  Made the bed, dressed lightly in order to shower sometime earlier this morning, and am ready for life?  Well, awake, anyway.

Sassy was fed first thing.  One can a day, plus several rounds of treats, and dry food.  she is eating more of that, but still really doesn't like it.  Fair enough.  I don't like everything I eat, or exactly when I am eating it.  Such is life.  And, yes, she is still losing, if more gradually as this point.  She will never be a slim hipped girl child, again.  Getting fixed kills their metabolism.  But, she can be in better shape, is in better shape.

The water is heating, for a fatted coffee first thing.  I'll have a glass or two of kefir, as well, right away.  The plan is to brine the chicken, in the hopes that will tend and foul flavor of the fowl.  I'd hate to toss it all again, but would if it tastes as bad as that last batch.  Then, a kefir with that, and a fatted coffee or tea later.  But to be done taking in hard calories of any sort within a six hour period from the first kefir or fatted coffee.  

Hmm... I should begin brining the chicken even before I begin eating.  It takes an hour (minimum) to brine.  And, say, an hour to cook.  I'll have fresh veggies today.  The salad is bad, it goes bad so fast.  I may just begin buying romaine hearts, and shredding them here at home.  The bags, from the new store, don't last even a week.  And the old store seems to have quit making their prepackaged, in-store, salads.  I ought to call and check, maybe I am just missing those?  A few salads a week, with meat crumble for taco salads, or tuna or other sorts of canned fish, or a plain salad on the side, sure stretches things, and if done correctly, doesn't add many calories or carbs.  Not my favorite, but it... isn't always about that.

Dreamed, of marriage.  Children shortly after.  Always a good dream.  Women might be lunatics, but... beyond being beautiful, they are handy in so many ways.  At least I have dreams.  Oh, there, even in the dreams, is the bad parts.  For whatever reason, I can't even escape those in my dreams.  But, so be it.  I am not sure I would wish to idolize women, as some men are wont to do.  It's why they are single.  The first time she farts, he becomes terrified.  I just laugh.  Maybe scare her by saying I need to keep a lighter handy.  :p  Maybe get tape for my eye brows, at that rate... save them from burning off!

Today?  A shower, trim the beard, laundry?  Something.  Well, and cooking the chicken.  If a piece or two of chicken isn't enough, I may have eggs and bacon.  Just... eggs and bacon.  Three should do, eggs.  Four pieces of bacon.  With bacon already mostly cooked, that is so easy.  And, finishing the bacon adds just enough fat in the pan to do the eggs?  Well, with just a dab of coconut oil or butter.  The blends are fantastic.

I'll set up the brine, set a timer for an hour and an half, get on the game, and probably take a shower before setting up the brine.  A trim first.  Ugh, that... isn't working.  I think I'll have to start the chicken first.  Not sure I can do that, and get a shower, and... whatever else I was thinking... all at once.  So, set the brine, a timer, and then get the chicken baking, gaming until the alarm goes off.

A shower sometime in there, after that.  A trim, of the beard, first.  Then a shower.  And, more gaming until lunch is ready.  Oh, but after setting the brine, kefir and a fatted coffee, while gaming.  There we go!  Just trying to create a rough roadmap for events.  It... helps, or can.  Hmm... might trim my whiskers right after setting up the brine, so it's done.  It's a small job, but when added to showering and this and that, it adds to it.

On to the day.  Later.

A few things.

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Just a day of business, but vital.  Mostly settled, for now.  Have to keep up on it.  Christmas nearly wrapped up, figuratively more than literally.  Should sleep better.

I have been dealing with Sassy.  She is losing weight nicely.  Not... happily, but nicely.  Her belly doesn't flip and flap, one side to the other, like an old milk cow anymore.  Not... quite tight, but better.  She isn't absolutely happy about it, I am.  I'm the king of the cans, I win!

I had thought to cook chicken.  Thawed it and several other meats.  But, I didn't want to eat more.  If I had cooked it, assuming it was edible, I would have had to have at least one piece.  One meal a day, or two if close enough in proximity.  I had timed out, so just let it go.  I'll bake it tomorrow.

Tired, very tired.  The electric blanket has been going for a bit.  should be pleasant up there.  Just at 20:00, so all is good.  A right time to sleep.  Hopefully I can stay down, tonight, until 3:00, maybe 5:00.  Any time in there would be a good waking time.

I really am having a good winter, even keeping the house chill.  It isn't perfect, but I can't afford higher bills.  And they will be higher no matter what else I do.  But, I can cut down, and keep it steady.  I have finally learned to layer, and fairly well.  Still, a bit cool.  That is just as good as I can do, at what I can afford.

Funny thing?  The greens wanted people to cut down, right until we did.  They were just scamming for more money for... pretty much everything.  Just another corporate hoax.  Paid for the U.S., and other, government(s).  Enjoy.

Goodnight.

A few more things done.

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My last Christmas gift, second to last, was sent out.  I had to call my mother, to make sure it was going to the right address.  And I had to let her know the gift I tried to get wasn't available.  And other options were just not available.  I told her I would try to find something local, but just not promises.  Though let her know, if there was something smaller she would like, or thought of, to let me know.

Then, I called the recipient to let him know it was on the way.  And the day it would arrive.  No soap this year, but I won't say what I sent until... actually, I already told him.  Bleh.  Me and my big mouth.  But... he asked.  I'm a bit jealous.  It has been a few months since I have been able to order for myself, and this month is not going to be different.  Those better cheeses, and some salami.  Enough that, with some care, they could probably have two or three settings of the stuff.

They are... different cheeses, for American tastes.  And many Americans really don't eat salami, or other anti-pasta meats?  Some such.  But, they are quite good.  Or, so I say.  My neighbors don't seem to care for it.  

They both got soap last year.  More expensive than they might know.  None seemed all that interested.  I always worry that they just tossed it.  Dunno, never heard back.  This year, it was charcuterie for one, a roof snow rake for the other.  Nothing all that sexy, but... whatever.

Got it, online, not sure what the problem was/is.

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I got to their site.  Had to fight through, to get my password changed.  It kept failing to stay online.  I was finally able to see my account.  The site suggests my automatic payment is still functioning, but obviously it is not.  I set up an single pay event, for the third.  Don't have money before that.  Crap, will have to change that.  Or... not.  They will take it early, shouldn't be a problem.

One payment was skipped, for not cause.  They sent me a packet of info on how to get covid or whatever relief.  I don't want that.  Don't need it.  Just want to pay my stupid bill and otherwise be left alone.  Thankfully, I can handle one missed payment.  But, I will be putting this in to the state's ag office.  I'll have to figure out how to contact them, and how to file a complaint.  But... I'll get it done.  They can't be trusted not to continue doing this, essentially, because I am not interested in being fleeced by their various "loan" systems (loan sharking, actually).

Well?

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Too much kefir, not enough milk, always a bit confused.  Tuesday, and I am nearly out of milk?  Only two gallons, but still.  So fast.  A gallon, at this pace, lasts about two and an half days?  So... three gallons should do.  But... I'm never sure.  I keep tweaking the process.

Currently, I am trying to filter the kefir a bit more often.  The trick is, with eighteen hours, it's quite a stretch.  But with twenty four hours, the kefir has completely separated, so isn't as good.  It's a trick to do things.  So?  I don't know.  Just doing my best, at the moment.  As is, about every other day I get better kefir, versus separated curds and whey.  But, doing it sooner, on some days, means using milk faster than that which makes it last seven and an half days.

I'll... sort it out.  Perhaps find a slightly cooler place to ferment it?  Out in the back porch?  It is fully enclosed, but I do close the door to it, at night (to keep Sassy away from food for a while).  So, it is cooler.  Maybe.  Then twenty four hours will do more accurately.  In the summer?  I'll... deal with that then.  Perhaps cure it in a cooler, downstairs?  No ice, just kept more moderate, in a more moderate place?  Dunno.

Back to bed, then up again.

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I had to get up.  So angry about the payment stoppage.  After I bit, I was able to get on back to bed.  I think I went down around 2:30, then woke again around 6:30?  Give or take an half hour, or toward the give side I think, where give is to be had.

A bit of web  browsing.  Not terribly interesting.  It looks like everyone, after the second fake election, realizes that being mouthy about it will probably just get them in trouble.  America in now a police state.  Where if they don't use the feds, the IRS, the SSA, or other, they will use corporate to clobber you... if you step out of line.  So, they are shutting up, and just being clowns.  The gig is over, the American dream dead, and you are on your own.

I ordered one of the things for my mother.  But the singing Santa wasn't going to arrive until... January 15th to the 19th?  Yea, no.  So I canceled that part of the order.  I looked for options, but there aren't any.  Okay, I guess she'll just have to go without.  It was a hit or miss thing, and some suggested it didn't do what was advertised, at all.  Sorry, mom.

Awake.

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A bit after midnight.  Couldn't sleep.  Things on my mind.

A bit.

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Sassy sorted, a last meal for her shortly.  She only gets one can of food a day, two or three rounds of treats, and any hard food she wants... if I close that door when I go to bed.  She won't come upstairs with me, anymore.  Maybe it's just too cold for her comfort?  Don't know.  Though, I think with the electric blanket, she might... find it much nicer.  Strange.  

On the good side, she really is losing weight.  Perhaps she is just angry that I don't feed her between 1.5 and 3 cans of food a day.  Oh, don't worry.  When I say lose weight, I mean down from bohumungous to slightly ginormous.  Or... well, from rather obese down to mildly obese.  And I do mean obese.  I think she will be able to lose even more through time.  Took a while.  Wasn't sure she would lose weight, but it is working out.  I wish I had a food boss, to help me lose.  Though, as mentioned, I don't think my weight can be controlled by diet.  My metabolism is simply shot.

Finally!

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Not only have I been working on days and nights, I have been trying to get to town, to return a few things.  Through UPS.  Today was the day.  Almost made it Saturday.  Just... too tired, from pushing days around.  Always glad to get things returned, in time, on time, give or take.  Plus, the refunds will be... good things.  Especially since they are already spent.  Bleh.  Or nearly, by ordering their replacements.

As well, I stopped through In-N-Out burger.  Not... really impressed.  Their burger is okay, but their fries aren't even as good as McDonald fries, even since they started using only vegetable oil.  Not... all that good.  Their fries, to be honest, taste like cardboard.  Well, I tried.  I may stop through, from time to time, and just order their burgers.  I believe they offer them in lettuce wraps.  Today was a treat, and I wanted to compare the whole monty.  Wasn't impressed.  Will try their burger wrap soon, just alone.  It will be a lot cheaper than Wendy's.  There is definitely that.  And Wendy's burgers are only so-so as well.

I did call my mother earlier, checked in on her.  It's not much.  To say it is the least I can do is...  If too, it's honestly as much as I can do.  Time isn't on either of our sides, but... will spend it as wisely as I may.  Which... includes checking in on her, even if just to tell her she is loved, remind her.  It's all I can do, but I... will try to do it.

A later start.

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Then again, I was late down.  I didn't get home until around 19:30? 20:30?  Somewhere in there.  Then had to... relax in order to sleep.  I think I didn't go down until 22:30?  Not used to company, or even leaving the house.  Odd how the world goes.  My systems require certain things.  Up at 6:30, bed reset, dressed well enough for around the house, hair brushed and put up, teeth brushed, beard brushed a bit.

Very good.  Today?  I don't know.  Clean enough for a foray, if possible.  Just not sure I have any gumption.  Sleepy, tired, dusting off psychic cobwebs, but I think I'll make it to full consciousness before long.  Even comfortable in the cool of the morning.  Though best find my housecoat over the rest of the lost, or I'll find a chill, which is difficult to alter.

Closing in on payday.  Which is... proving to be more plentiful as I back away from spending.  Nearing as prepped a status as possible.  Now it is just replacement, when and where, of what is at a reasonable price, at any given time.  They are learning that gambling with prices won't work.  They will choke on stock that is priced too high until they price it correctly.

I made it.

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Not too early, or late.  Just a bit early.  But... all good.

Enjoyed the meal, had seconds.  Kept it... to within reason.

Roast beef, potatoes, and gravy.  Water to help.  I now drink water regularly, with meals.  So I am used to that.  Good to have company, over a meal.

Dressed correctly.  Was showered.  Hair was even dry by then.  Beard trimmed yesterday, so it was still in good shape.  An old goat, but I clean up okay.

His younglings have all grown quite well.  The girls were speaking.  Last time they were all timid as mice.  Good to see.  And his son spoke, a bit.  I don't expect young men to speak, it's... not... what they do.  Not so much.  As well, I heard about his eldest son... married not so long ago, to my memory.  But long enough that he has four children and another on the way.  Good to hear.  That is... what it is about, like it or not.

All is well.  They, as well, invited a few missionaries.  Ladies.  So, I wasn't the only visitor.

Good to go.  I need to turn the electric blanket on, then game just a bit.  Let it warm.  Then on to bed.  It was quite a bit of concentrated effort to get my days and nights arranged.  Trying to keep it that way may prove tricky.  Will... do what I may.  Good evening, day, and goodnight.  

Lunch was super.

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I did get bacon cooked.  Not all of the package, and it is a bit old.  But, it worked just fine.  I cooked fifteen to twenty pieces.  And, it worked really well.  Into the oven, on a cookie sheet covered in aluminum foil, with a cookie cooler tray that fits on it.  About twelve minutes, and it was mostly done.

I kept four for breakfast, rather underdone ones.  So, I just used those to oil the pan for the corned beef.  I fried the bacon until it was done to more my taste, pulled those, added the corned beef hash.  Flipped that a few times.  Then put the other skillet on, with coconut oil to melt.

Trying to keep up on both skillets, I did fairly well.  The eggs came out perfect.  And, yes, I like mine easy over, and do so.  A very good little meal.  A glass of kefir to go with it, and a large glass of water.  Very good.  I love it when I set out to make a meal, and it works just so.  Tastes excellent.  The texture is just right.

So very odd.

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Snowing, so a bit dark out there.  Just hitting 8:38.  But it feels like early to late afternoon!  Drowsy in that way that winter afternoons often are.  Less sun, less light beyond, cooler to cold, it just adds up to a want for sleep.  Creeps up, and, for me, never quite goes away until I am screaming from the heat of summer.

Some green tea, first.  Then kefir.  Then a fatted coffee.  Would like to eat something this morning.  Thinking about crisping bacon in the oven, and having that with eggs.  Maybe corned beef hash as well.  Another kefir, as well, shortly.

Still not sure about kefir.  Some days it takes 36 hours, some days it seems to be done in twelve hours.  When it is done quickly, it ends up overdone, so that curds and whey separate.  That isn't the best kefir.  I just can't quite tell that it is done.  I'm working on it.  I suspect, from day to day, week to week, depending on how the milk is set, and else, it will always go faster or slower.  I won't be able to ever really tell.  I sort of just have to tolerate what I get, to some degree.

A breakfast, a nap, a shower, all by 13:00?  I can hope.  Maybe 14:00, with the shower thrown in.  I'd best get to it, though, if I want a breakfast before a nap.

Morning already.

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Had to wake a bit early.  Pee jug was full, and the rest are down here, needed cleaned and bleached.  No choice.

I am sleeping much better.  I have sorted a few things, including a new way to keep most of the blankets together.  The two tops one usually get sluffed off at some point, the the main three, and electric, stay in one package, together, parallel, and even easily reset in the morning.  Even the two which are sluffed off stay together as a set.

Not only is the bed much easier to make in the morning, I sleep so much better, and warmer, through the night.  It doesn't matter if it gets down to the 40's or is in the higher 50's, life is much easier.  With sleep tended, I am better able to keep a day and night.  Strange, that.  I didn't think that was as much of a problem as it is obviously turning out to be.  Can't do much about summer... blast the ac, and pray, struggle.  But winters?  I think I have them down.