.
It worked! The painpills did their job. Now, I can tell, it's
merely covering up the pain. If you have ever taken heavier stuff, and I
have for... various situations... that... fake feeling of calm? I can
tell the pain is still there. But, that it has been relieved, at least
for a bit, is good.
That sense of living a fake life, the reason I don't take heavier stuff, also
makes doing much difficult. It's a bit of a trap. Which is why,
even when my ribs were cracked, I didn't take painpills. Or for
long. I did take three, over about a week. But they had me set up
to take a couple dozen, with refills. I... don't like that artificial
feeling. I think, besides the painlessness, that is part of what some
people are after. It helps them pretend they aren't who they are.
I... like being who I am, even when I fail. Even when I hurt.
So... it will do what it does. But I won't take more for a week or
two. Even if the pain continues. I get a bit of a reprieve, from
time to time. But that is it. And, I think that is fair
enough. Without pain, I would just be numb. I want to be alive,
and will, mostly, usually, gladly suffer for it. It hit so fast, and so
hard, today, that I... sought refuge. And, it seems, for a bit, found
it.
What a beautiful day though, in spite of all. I noticed earlier, whether
I mentioned or not. Even when hurting, a pretty day is a welcome
thing. The sun, mostly, seems to be back out. Definitely a fall
sun. But I love each season. They help me remember... things...
life... the past. And contemplate the future.
I'll game a bit more, for a bit. Then try to get trash and recycling, as
needed, collected and at least out. Then a shower. Maybe some work
on boxes? And a few prayers here or there. If you get to church,
say a prayer for me... as in, in my stead. If not, say a prayer for me
where you are. Or, just pray for me, if you think that is
required. :p I don't mind which way you go with it, it... isn't
actually about me. Funny how that works. Amen, and good morning
and day.
Ah, one bit more. I went to solve the rubik's cube the other day.
Couldn't. Forgot how. So... I went looking for the video, that
actually helped. I couldn't find it. I looked and looked, on my
blog, and at y.t. It just didn't seem to be there. Most y.t.
rubik's cube help videos don't. Either missing steps, or just plain
wrong. I think that is how it is meant.
Finally, today, on a search, using several different spellings and
clarifications, I found it. And, after working it a bit, I got it.
Not... that I will remember, tomorrow, how to do it. But, for today, it
is together. So... I will post the video, here, again. And do a
few other things which should make finding it much easier in the future.
Assuming it doesn't get pulled for whatever reason.
Hmm, now on to Doom. I'm getting through it, slowly.
Now get off my porch!
