How odd.

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Actually, maybe not, if you think about it right.  I was thinking today was Sunday.  In one sense, that doesn't make sense.  When I lose time, due to sleeping too much, I often trip backwards.  Often, I mean, I have thought, in situations like this, that it would be Friday.  However, now that I am tracking better, it might actually make sense.  Sleeping to full sleeps would be more prone to someone who is otherwise in good shape to think a day more has passed.  Fair enough.

I checked my pulse, out of curiosity.  It was right at 84, resting.  While I have been told that is a bit high, I also know it has been that high since when I was in the best condition of my life.  It has always been right between 80~84, at least when healthy.  Before I restarted medicine this last time, I checked several times, the last probably a week before I started medicine.  I didn't think it would help, almost never seems to help.  Then again, usually when it is checked I am at a hospital, and have had to hurry, shower, dress, and get there.  It was averaging about 110 beats per minute before medicine.  So, yeah, that's... quite an improvement.  I ought to find the bp cuff and give that a check.  I doubt if blood sugar is any better.  I haven't been... eating right lately.  Too many treats, and general lack of care.  I'll get back on that.

I do like refried beans and beef.  And I enjoy adding some whole canned black beans.  Usually.  This last time, I couldn't find black beans from the US, so I took what was available.  Don't buy "food" from south of the border.  All I'm saying.  I have eaten most of that batch, but I've had to suffer it.  Never could eat a whole serving, or well.  I hate to waste, but I weary of that.  I think, since, I bought better black beans.  I have a new portion of beef too.  I may just make a whole new batch.  That stuff is just nasty.  All I can do it my best.

I finished the demo on Prey.  I think it will do, as a distraction.  It won't be as good as past games.  I highly doubt the story will be great.  It'll most likely be just a simple grouping of much better games.  I'll wait until the price comes down though.  Chinese main characters?  Really?  While there is a female character, you aren't required to play it.  I think I have some other games, older ones where the price dropped, on blu-ray so I can play offline, and such.  I'll see what I got, and if any of them work.  I like sci-tech, some fantasy, first-person, shooters, though rpg and a few other sorts, just not forced group play.  Just not any fun.  Too few good players make good friends, online and to a degree offline.  Offline I'll go the good friend first.  Mostly.  Online?  Play and shut it.  Like I wrote, though, online doesn't work well.

Hmm...  I am nearly finished with the first set of Twin Peaks.  I may watch the movie again, then move on to the next series.  It looks like they ran out of material.  When you only buy leftist writers, and it is obvious, you lack talent and imagination.  Yeah, you do.  They go to the same things they always end up in.  Trash.  It is what the wealthy, elite of most forums, want.  What was it?  From top and from bottom?  Right.

Later.

Sleeping like the dead.

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I have had times where, in more recent times, I slept two naps in a day.  Sleeping four to six hours, then being up that much.  But not in memory have I slept full sleeps twice in a day... and still been tired.  I am sure it is medication.  Taking full dose starting out has more of a price with it than thought.  Then again, it got cool again, to add to it... or it seems that way.  That might just be me?

Looking at the thermometer here, which also shows highs and lows, it registers 68 F (I have found it reliable versus other thermometers placed together).  It is putting the low at 64 and the high at 75... which is strange, almost unbelievable.  If it got to 75 in here, it should still be that high.  I don't think I did any cooking yesterday, though maybe I turned the furnace up?  And higher than I thought, in order to try to get going?  Maybe, I just don't remember that though.  At 14:00 and change, if it got that warm outside, it would still be rather warm, even if it cooled off.  Air temp doesn't track down nearly as well as it tracks up.

Oh, but the girls were not happy.  They broke into my sleep, invading my very dreams.  Sam did it once, on her own.  It was not enough to wake me.  Next time, Sassy and Sam did it, one on each side, in stereo.  I woke and realized it really was them.  Though I had never quite heard them meow like that.  Especially in unison.  Very very strange.  Fair enough though.  I probably haven't been keeping as up on their feed as usual.  Oh, sure, they have hard cat food, but they... have come to enjoy certain luxuries.  I'll tell you, I didn't realize they could learn such things from me.  To go into someone's dreams is... a bit of a trick.  There are reasons not to do so.  I do think they had to have learned it from me.  Well... that's the story.

I'm not feeling great, or too awful.  A few aches and pains, possibly from oversleeping.  A bit groggy, as sleep doesn't seem to be doing me all that much good toward obtaining restfulness.  On the other hand, medicine and sleep, and some solid efforts on my side, have allowed that wound to finally solidly scab over and begin to heal.  That had me worried.  More so since I couldn't get rid of the excess fluid built up for past the first week of medication.  All good, I'll... make it.  I'll still cover it, for bits of time every few days.  Just... an added protection.

Hmm?  Well... a shower, trash out, and some other stuff... or not.  I'm alive, again, but not necessarily awake.  The heat, at this time, might end up doing me some good.  And it is, most likely, on it's way in the sooner rather than later span.  As my friend my have suggested, as an inverse giant, if for quite different reasons... it is happening, again.  Oh, I know, old friend.  I am hoping that it all comes together and I begin ripping and tearing into the house, keeping up with the new growing things, and keeping reading and learning.  Good day.

Nap?

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I can't be sure when I went down.  Waking after 21:00, perhaps after 22:00 though.  Four, six, hours?  More, less?  I went down so hard and fast, when I finally did go down, I can't remember anything.  I will have to be careful with life.  I have taken medicine, rightly, for... when I get in medicine tonight, eleven days.  If my sleep schedule is going off, I'll have to be very careful with continuing.  A big red "X" on the bottom and top of the calendar, I suppose, might help.  I am just about to, internally, lose track of day and night, day per day, sleep cycles, and else, for a while.  No choice.  Or, it's looking like it.
----

I started writing this then just... wandered off.  I'll finish.  I had a bite to eat, then watched another few episodes of the show.  My last friend used to imitate the giant saying "It is happening again".  He had it down perfect.  I simply didn't know what he was talking about.  And, now, I am not sure what his point was.  I know he thought I was quite... strange.  Sometimes I don't think he liked me at all, sometimes he liked me fairly well.  Mood?  Maybe.  There were things he knew I did not.  Though I taught him some other things.  He was a strange bird too.

I don't know, but I may end up going on back to bed.  I just can't make heads nor tails of life at this moment.  Too tired to do more than light reading, watching this or that, minor thinking, none of it being connected or staying in memory long.

Oh, I did get the download for Prey going.  The main characters are Chinese.  That is a bit of an issue.  Though, something to consider is that if the Chinese are being shown as Americans?  It means even they realize their culture has lost.  The game is only so-so, a bit slow, and even on the playthrough I have already had a game-stopping glitch.  I'm not thinking this will be a very well done production.  If I can get it going, and don't have too many more issues, I'd like to finish it.  It's a very generic sciency/engineering sort of thing.  Nothing all that new, nothing all that surprising, not from what I have seen.  It might do, in time, just not at full retail.  When it gets down to $20, I might give it a go.  They don't make them like they did.

Later, or good night, again, most likely.

Better.

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Still pretty crippled.  The pain has eased.  I can't remember if I ended up taking painpills or not.  I did have a bite, and have been watching more episodes of the final season of the first set of shows.  It seems to be based not just on oddities, horror themed, but rather (G)gnostic.  There is truth and knowledge that can help, I just don't buy into the need for a great deal of, or secret, information.  God was rather clear.  You can try to meditate toward things, I just believe most of those things are not true, many aren't good.  Meditation, so as to quiet the mind, or contemplate simply on God... as a sort of prayer, can be good.  It offers enough strange elements to be interesting, as I see things, however.

A nap, perhaps.  I had a lunch.  I have enough food, now, to mix and match, so as not to get too bored too quickly.  And I can add sides of this sort, to that main dish, and end up okay.  Hmm, hiccups though.  Perhaps I ate a bit much.  Yeah, a nap... after I finish this episode.

I have spotted a game that might be okay.  It's title is Prey.  I'll do a bit more looking.  I don't like being forced to play characters which aren't suitable, or games that have leftist attitudes built in.  And I don't like all games anyway.  At the start, this looks to be a slow game to get into.  I am attempting to download the sample gaming.  It is taking forever.  Not sure if it's Amazon, the ps 4, or my service provider, for sure.  Though I don't think it's my provider, just from what I am seeing on various sites which would be slower if it was a provider issue.

Yeah, well, getting close to a nap.  Later.

Late and rough.

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One warning.  Don't eat corned beef and cabbage too close to bedtime.  I've been burping, and elsewise gassy, all night.  The burps are odd, tasting like coka~cola burps mixed with rubber tire burps.  I've never actually had that latter, it's just the only thing I can imagine.  No, that's good corned beef and cabbage, it's just... an odd thing.  I did put the food away before going to bed.  I am going to try to figure out what to do with the excess water.  It's a bit greasy, and meaty.  I'm not sure sending it down the tub or toilet drain is best.  Sack it and throw it with the trash?  I just don't know.

It is a rough morning.  My body has been wanting to wake for hours.  I simply haven't been able to push past.  It's too hot, even though it's not, according to the thermostats at my disposal.  Of course, as summer takes off, it is getting environmentally warmer.  The heat seeps in through cracks, gets into the stone part of the cave and settles in, slowly changes the world in ways a simple thermometer can't read.  Though, still, medicine is... working it's way through, finally taking affect.  It took weeks to just, finally, start sluffing excess fluid.  I am waking without elephant feet and ankles.  That is such a weird thing.  Why I didn't have that problem until recent years I can't say.  Even when, because of a ~30% lung congestion due to fluid, my legs looked normal.  To be honest, I think when medicine helps one way, it hurts another.  It is why they have to put us on a whole package of medicine, only some of which I can tolerate.

For now, and for some future, I will be down.  Until I can get used to summer, and medicine, and summer and medicine, I will be down.  I keep trying to do more, but even reading is a bit of a trick.  Hurting to be alive, being too hot to ever quite get comfortable... until I become so cold it hurts... age and medicine do a number.  Even so, when I am back in balance, I will be doing better, again, then ever before.  A month or two and I might be back to tops.  Then I'll dig in, hit the bedroom and en suit, clear out the house, and such.  At least I should be able to keep up on the girls, sort of keep up on food and main domestics, and keep the plants, inside and out, watered.  For now.  Then, when I get better, I can work hard again.

Gotta walk through fire if you want to see the real light.  Later.

Sometimes I really see it.

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Just over a bit.  Just out of reach, focus, grasp.  Then the world goes cold, sleep becomes demanding, the need and want for food becomes really high... too high... or disappears.  Vision blurs, the heart races or slows, sensations dim.  I dream more, even while awake.  Pain or numbness become all I know.  I think I am approaching, or even going on over, into something, someplace, new.  I am never quite sure when I am there, approaching, or returning.  Blurry.

I am in that area.  Not sure if I am coming or going, suspended or moving, I just can't tell.  For now there is pain, but I am numb to it.  Actually that is a strange thing, usually it is one or the other.  It is like hearing sound on a snowy foggy day.  While the sound, or echoes, may seem crisp and sharp, they may also be indistinct directionally, and muffled so distance can't be determined.  I know there is pain, I just can't tell what it is.

I've been hiding.

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For shame.  Oh, I mean in my home.  Physically hiding.  Hmm?  Oh, well, I sometimes do hide.  For various reasons.  Then again, so does Vulgaris Magistralis... kin you know.  Or so it has been suggested.  On this occasion, as mentioned, it was for shame.

The men were digging the phone line underground.  Because I didn't move the branches they may have had to do extra work.  Maybe not.  Perhaps the path they took was better for a number of reasons though... such as being more linear, less angled, not having to risk chewing through tree roots... or not.  I felt ashamed, and never woke well enough to dispel the notion, until just recently... but by then they were gong.  Now I feel guilty.  I would have liked to have thanked them.  Odd how being... in my condition can confuse things.  Well, there is tomorrow, and the next event, and so on.  Good to have the phone line buried though.

I have done just a bit of reading.  Let me see... a coulomb is 6 x 10^18...  And an amp is a coulomb a second.  KVL suggests, really, voltage in, voltage out, which equals zero...  *scratches head*  KCL suggests that amperage is equal in series.  *maybe?*  Some of this will have to be seen in action, perhaps tested.  No matter what a piece of paper, author, convention, or such says... I like to know the devil.  He is in the details and means me harm.  When is something true, when could it not be true... both in the design and outside of the design?  A short, right through a hand or tool, is an example of outside... a component which can alter the law is an example from inside.  Know your and their limits.  I have many more things to read and learn.

I'll be honest, I can't reinvent the wheel, on electronics, medicine, or any other learning.  I CAN kick those tires, and do.  It took... a while for me to realize this.  Which was quite frustrating in school.  Though my health, especially completely untreated, very much complicated acceptance, memory, and some other things.  Still quite ill, and, yet, I think I can make more progress.  Part of the trick is knowing what to memorized.  A coulomb is an example of something to memorize, as are laws... but also their limits.  What not to memorize?  Theory.  Look at it, perhaps.  But know it as much for it's strengths and weaknesses, but more as a hobby.

Theory will not get you to application.  It is not inventive.  It is wrong enough that it won't sustain invention, curiosity, or real world applications.  It is... purely for hobby or academic pursuits, where wrong is as good as rain because no one cares.  People are living long fatted lives doing nothing in there.  Teaching?  A class or two, about theory, that is wrong?  Yeah, no.  Just getting them off the streets and out of industry, putting them where they can do the least damage.  As bad as, if often as well, consultants... who do what companies tell their own engineers NOT to do.  Usually wasteful money dumps.  Anyway...  If you wish to tinker with theory, don't take it too seriously.  Proofs are undone daily.  Even when proofs and the scientific method don't work, science has become politics.  Don't go there, boys.

Anyway...  With the outsiders gone, I can do less sneaking.  Perhaps a meal, a few more episodes, some reading, a nap, or... I don't know.  Later.

About the stoppage?

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I sure thought about it.  Did for a moment.  Her face, crumpled, like a used tissue.  Something about that girl in the store got to me.  Was it hate, terror, simple fear, sympathy, empathy.  It was crushing to watch.  Intense.  Potentially dangerous.  That is the type of reaction that can turn murderous, quickly, if from a certain direction.  I simply could not tell what the source was.  She went from being friendly and helpful to... that... so fast.  Two conversations, I think.  Somewhere in the last she just changed.  I just wanted to get out of there, away from her, and make sure no one was coming up behind me.  Then to get out of the store and be on my way as fast as possible.

Yeah, I didn't want to have anything to do with anyone for a while.  That was creepy to watch from this side.  I wonder if I, or my notions, do that to people.  I am so used to things, true or not, it is how I see, remember, feel.  If I do cause up to murderous reactions...  I will have to think about things.  Perhaps make it so only some can read here.  It's such a lot of work to get people's email, then to send them a link and hope that all works out, messing with this and that... plus knowing there are quite a few who read hear 'quietly'.  Invisible to my eyes and what tech I have, but not to my nature.  People who can, it seems, mostly, handle it.

Are my stories truly that terrible?  Though she was young, female, and different in another way.  Weened on a dill pickle, look on her puss in a thousandth of a second as if recognizing, and then disappeared freckles on that fish, maybe Dr. Jeckyl with a death wish?  *bam*  Right in the noodle.

Still, I decided, leave it be.  She'll... they'll... learn... or go away.  I can't make the world easy or nice for them.  It would be a lie to let them go on believing it's easy, it gets better, or such.  And... my page is more about making it through that, to a better way.  There is a better way, even in the pain.  Hopefully, if they read here, and it hurts, they will be more persuaded to live more fully, in hope, and have wonderful memories, than to hide in the shadows.  The horrors of love lost, failed attempts even for great effort, living beyond the grave even on into abject suffering... I am saying... is worth it.  Give the good and bad, right and wrong, on to God.  He's big enough if you are.  Amen, kiddies.

Hmm... perhaps she thinks I murdered her.  In a way I did.  But with seed she most happily accepted.  She stole my child along with quitting though, so I... call it a draw.  Yeah, bastard.  I'm simply no happier with her when she is coldest and deadest at me, than she is at me.

Rough, again.

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I am putting it squarely on the shoulders of medicine, at this point.  I haven't felt this bad in a long time.  Nausea, general harsh lethargy, organs feeling like overripe bruised fruit, bone and muscle aches, and a general ill feeling.  This is what they say I need to take to live.  Oh, it gets better, I get used to it.  It will just take a while... days, to weeks, to months.

I am more sure, after today and yesterday really, that what has been wrong was more weather related.  Why?  While lethargic, I didn't have the pains.  To a degree yesterday, more so today, I am suffering like a fool after a party.  I will see if a few painpills will ease that bleeding edge.

I really don't feel like working.  I would still like to do some things.  I have some very small, short, easy tasks... if nothing else.  And I have regular tasks to do.  One or three of those out of the road would be good.  I have a few books to read as well.  Oh, and I am able to watch Twin Peaks.  After a few things, I was curious.  I think I watched the movie, long ago, but neither of the series.  I hated series, I always fell behind.  And, back then, finding the whole series, and watching, either simply wasn't available or was prohibitively expensive.  They realllllly wanted you to watch commercials.  Yeah, I didn't watch tv much even back then.  Literally having three channels was part of the "problem" of course.  You know... come to think of it... that might be the way for folks to go.  Meh... even hereabouts, with an antenna of sorts, in these times, you get more than three channels.  The place I rented right before moving here had an antenna and at least seven, probably more, channels.
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I forgot to finish this.  Just... wandered off, had a bite to eat, and did morning regulars.  I'm feeling better, without painpills, and yet will take them.  Better isn't saying a lot.  Still, it's... a hopeful sign.  Later.

I am taking a break from public publishing.

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It just gets a bit rough.  I am tired of dealing with... things.  So, let them do without for a bit.  Gnats might eat free, but only if allowed.  *splat*

Some of you might not be included.  Some of you were previously allowed, but maybe on emails addresses that are expired or rarely used.  Though... you won't know that.  Oh well.  I need a break, so I'll take one.  Don't like my writing, fine.

Later.  Or good night?  Dunno.

Different.

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I didn't do much.  I did make it to town.  Shopping.  Some groceries, some bandages.  The young woman who helped me at one of the places was... quite strange.  Initially pleasant, kind.  I... treated it as I might a niece or cousin, no more, but brightly.  I cannot tell if she... took my kindness wrongly... or understood who I am and that terrified her.  Very strange.  I was cautious, after that.

When buying bandages, I was queried about the volume.  I said something or other, being clear as mud is always the hope... when I am suspicious.  After writing several of the things over the last few days, and it being a connected college town, I... know that I might be read, and known.  As things stand, that can be dangerous these days.  I have been working to watch my back a bit more carefully.  You just never know these days.  If the choice is to accept a suckerpunch or take someone down, I'm... going to hurt someone.  There are enough cameras these days that... if you are in the clear it will usually come out as such, quickly.  Even as fast as I can be.  It's when there are only eye-witnesses where troubles can occur.  People are pretty damned dull and slow of eye and thought.  Too many of them are absolutely sure about what they really didn't see.

Strange things.

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I finally did get around to watching Prometheus.  From music videos, and such, I decided to go take a look.  I was not surprised by the movie.  It makes perfect sense.  Yet many seem to spend hours, days, weeks, years, debating what things meant.  I am absolutely amazed at how ignorant so many seem to be.  I hope the views of youtubers aren't common.  Then again, perhaps many who do vids for youtube are... academic sorts.  Which, itself, makes sense.  Hmm?  I mean they are being trained to not know history, not understand that science; as a body of knowledge must absolutely be doubted; as a method of inquiry is quite limited; and as a group of people is just as flawed, maybe more so, than any other group of people.  At least Christians, honest ones, admit that they really don't, and can't, know it all.  Which explains faith.  Scientists have no faith, or so they claim, and yet know no more than those of faith... less quite often and in real terms.

Not being able to understand this show is akin to not being able to understand comic books.  The movie was very simple, extremely explicit, and without much depth.  But there are really different, strange, and unusual visuals.  Perhaps that just confuses the simple.  Or perhaps most, as I wrote, have been developed to be ignorant.  If they want cogs, they have to devolve some to a lowest common denominator.  It looks like they are achieve with "higher education" what can't be done even with genocide, save over a longer term.

Heave-ho.

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I had to push.  Even with nearly two hours from waking to post office closing I just made it.  A shower, dressing, and minor grooming in there.  Oh, and the tub wasn't clear.  Though, really, just clean dishes needing a hot rinse so as to dry easily.  I've just not been doing right that way.  Still, I'll... get to it.  Soon.  Maybe.

The package was a tea plant.  I was thinking it would be a small thing, maybe four to six inches, max, with a few leaves, though probably not a bud let alone a flower.  Wow.  Wrong.  It is 12 to 18 inches tall (including a tiny pot), with, say, four or five main upward vines, two or three of which were flowering, and maybe in several places along the various stems.  It even looks healthy.  I am extremely pleased.  I can't even always find that locally.

The girls finally got into the aloe vera.  I was needing to transplant that anyway.  Still, it pissed me off good and well.  I'm not sure which one it was, all I was was a fast moving fluff of fur when whichever realized I saw what happened.  Both could have done it.  Probably trying to claim it as territory, property.  No real problem.  Once the floor is dry from showering and all, I'll sweep and mop.  Mopping isn't necessary, for that, but it's about time.

It is warming out there, 72 F or so.  Cooler in the mornings though.  I can handle 72, as long as things cool off.  Higher and... then again, at this level of heating, I might be able to deal with life well enough.  And handle even warmer temps, so long as it is more stable.  It's changes, fast changes, that can get to me.

Today?  I'd just like to hit the list that has been in play for a while now.  Dishes, laundry, the bathroom though I did wash the toilet and the tub/shower yesterday so just need to hit the floor, then maybe some work on the back roof partitions and gutters or work in the bedroom.  I'm not moving fast, if a spark once in a while.  Later.

Awake, probably in time.

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Later, each morning, but not by leaps and bounds.  It was 10:30 this morning.  Later yesterday morning, but I stayed up later yesterday night.  I just want to make it to the post office, which closes at noon.  I think I can.

I've emptied the tub and taken clean clothes in for a shower.  As well, I took the house plants in.  I won't soak them today, I'll just let them enjoy the moisture in the air.  They seem to like that.  More so as the world dries out around here.  What I am picking up is another plant.  Technically you could use it as tea, the leaves.  My guess is, to raise enough to be useful, you'd... well... it wouldn't work well here.  I suppose some teas would take little preparation, others take long fermentation, sometimes several, drying, hand rolling or other processing, and time... days to years maybe?  So, for me, it's just a plant... assuming it survives.

Why plants?  As much for a bit of green as for air filtration.  And a bit of a hobby.  I'll have to clean out the pots ever few years, if I want to keep these plants longer term.  And I can, in time, spread these plants into other pots.  As pricey as they really are, transplanting is the way to go.  Buy once, spread them around, so that if one happens to die, I won't be clean out.  Through this next year I would like to find a few more, and make places around the cave that are more suitable to them.  As well, I'd like to, when it for sure warms up, start with a wall hanging planter and herbs.  If I clean out the back hall, the herbs would fit well out there, with full sun in the mornings, at least... which is more than enough until they get larger, perhaps ready to be transplanted into planters I might bring in for the winter... see if I can keep them viable, somehow, through the winter... near a furnace vent, with grow lights, or such.

I best get going.  I don't think I will do much today.  I'm still in rough shape.  Now, I think, it's the heating.  This will be the last weather issue for the summer.  Once I get used to the heat(ing), I'll have a time where I can work.  Then, as deep summer arrives, I'll have to hide away, maybe doing things inside, in the shade and air conditioning.  Until fall, and I get to... yeah.  I don't get as much of any season as most, and less of deep winter or summer... if any.  I use what I can, how I can, and just cling the rest of the time.  Not bad for someone who simply should have been dead longer ago than most even graduate students have been alive.  Living on my own?  Yeah... you won't be that lucky.  Lucky?  Ha!  I slay me.

Later.

Do I think so?

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They really don't get it.  Do I think someone would shoot into my home?  Actually I do.  More the college town next door, but I am surprised at things more often than I like.  Drugs have started coming in, as well as illegal and hardcore aliens.  As has been known by many, muslims, as even the Buddhists suggest, can't be tolerated.  Unless one is willing to put up with terror, murder, and rape.  I wasn't sure if one of the local clans was muslim, seems so.  Though they aren't the only ones.  New ones coming in all the time.

However, it isn't even dying that is the problem.  It is suffering.  I live right on the edge of death.  Talk to any of my doctors.  They don't know why I'm still here.  Even with the medicine, when I can take it, I'm right on the edge.  Even so, even with what should be fatal incidents, illnesses, wounds, and such, I just don't die.  No, I simply don't want to have to go through a long bloody recovery on another major issue.  Nor would I like to have to kill people attempting murder.

Not a good start.

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Didn't get to bed until late.  It might just be the temp.  As that rises my ability to sleep, and eat, diminishes.  Medicine, too, might be kicking in.  In spite of being on medicine for nearing two weeks, it is just now starting to get rid of excess fluid.  I was almost wondering if that had stopped working.  Yes, it collects not just in the legs, but in the lugs.  Actually it goes everywhere anymore.  Compression socks weren't even really working.

I feel wrung out today.  Not as if I worked, so it wasn't that.  Just ill, which is most likely from medicine.  Though I am quite tired too.  Most likely just medicine as well.  The weather seems a bit better, even if overcast, or a bit... I'll check more later.  That's the start.

I still hope to do dishes and laundry.  If I do that, then, if I can, I'd like to get out and up, cleaning the roofs in the back, and gutters.  The low roofs are easy enough to get to and work on.  The steep roofing doesn't collect dirt, so isn't a problem.  I am not sure about how to set up a rope anchor on both sides of the steep part, to at least go up and look around.  Well, and... just something to do.  I thought about a grapple sort of hook, or a bolt in eye.  I don't trust the edge of the roof to hold my weight through a hook, and I'm not sure how well, or long, a bolt eye would hold.  I get the feeling I would have to change that out from time to time, while damaging the roof and opening it to  more damage.  I'll be thinking about that over time.  There is equipment for that, but I'm not quite ready to buy... a summer or two out.  For now I'll just keep the lower sections clean and clear of debris.

Headache, from things being just off.  I'll take painkillers and coast to a full wake, I suppose.  I don't think I'll make it to the post office today, but tomorrow I think I will.  Later.

Bedtime? I hope.

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I just... keep losing track.  I did find some information I wanted.  Metal roof maintenance.  Now, I am sure there other companies, various levels of effort, and such.  My roof is still in rather good shape.  There is some mild rust, probably just needing spot treatment.  The real tricks would be cost and working on the steeper portion of the roof.  Though I think that is doable.  I, yeah, have been looking for systems for that as well.

Not much.

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More than I have been doing.  And I feel good enough.  Then again, getting up on roofs isn't as easy as it used to be.  The hose I was using was 75 yards of the heavy rubber hose, two sections.  I was mostly just wrestling with 25 yards of it or so.  Still, it was a bit of a tangle, standing on an incline.  Even though the metal roof has decent grip, you still have to be aware and walk carefully.

I didn't end up doing more than resetting the dishes.  Tomorrow.  No laundry either.  It's not that I did much, it's that I did what I could.

I am pretty sure folk know what I do.  I won't say how, just that... they do.  I have a trick I am going to work on.  It might fix that.  It's a strange world, these days.  There might be a way to change things, some things.

I'll finish a show, put up some food, then perhaps read.  I am hoping to get to bed earlier tonight, then hit it harder tomorrow.  Later, or more likely good night.

Not all the roofs and gutters.

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Then again.  For now, however, I did a good spot.  After cleaning the gutter, I thought spraying the roof clean would be easy.  Nope.  However, I do believe I will be trying to keep up on the roofs a bit more.  That dirt will rust through the roof.  I definitely don't want that.  And I need to get that satellite dish off the roof, making sure to seal behind it.

While I am at thing up there, and considering gutters, I might see what sort of upkeep works on steel roofs.  This is plane, seems to be bare metal, but most likely is coated, very possibly with several coats of various things.  Even so, sanding, priming, and painting might help.  And painting it white?  The bare seeming metal might have been better, or not, to start.  But now?  That would be a heck of a job though.  But it would be something I might really be able to do...  Not something I would do in full summer.  But if I had the paint and primer, perhaps a spray painter and air machine... and whatnot... it might end up being a week job, even as some ease.  Doing them in sections would probably be best.

I know, right?  I've gone work crazy.  Not that I'm doing it all.  But I... am getting things on past lists, rearranging lists, and doing this and that.  I don't think it is about doing everything.  It is about doing what you can... and hoping that is enough.  I even enjoy it, when I can do it.  Oh... and I learn along the way.  The bungee cord seemed to work.  I went, give or take, with his advise and found it, and myself, to be more stable.

Right?

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We'll see.  I did get a bit going, which is super.  A shower, and some such, earlier.  I set up dishes, some for washing some just need a final rinse.  I went outside to see what was what.  I watered the bushes of various sorts, but will wait for evening to hit the asparagus again.  I'll water those twice a day, every other day.  Just a five minute light spray.  The bushes will get hit once or twice a week, depending on how they are looking.  Yeah, I needed sunglasses.

I couldn't find the small garden rake and spade, so I just used a pocket knife.  I got the ladder out and up.  I only have one small area on the front roof with a gutter.  It had dirt at about three to more like four inches deep.  I was a bit worried regarding the downpipe.  Oddly, it was quite open.  Weird, but okay.  Next I want to go up on the roof and clean a bit up and around up there.  The first level of roofing is fairly reasonable to be up on... not too steep or slick.  Still, I...

Ran out of time for some of it.

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Just couldn't get going, and when I did... not fast enough.  Sometimes it works, sometimes not.  I got a shower in.  By the time I got through fussing before getting in, then enjoying a long heavy shower, two to noon.  No chance for the post office.  Fine.  So I gathered the trash and, I think, got it out on time.  We'll see.  Not wanting to have unpaired efforts, I decided to water most plants outside.  The only part I skipped was the rhubarb, but I plan to do that when the sun has cleared the roof and those are in shade.  Everything is looking good except asparagus.  Oh, I'll keep at it.  They may have gone more seriously dormant, as it has frosted several times since planting, even a hard frost... though not for several weeks after their actual planting.  There is yet hope, just not much?  Hope is for times of doubt, toss in a little faith, and charity if in the form of water in this case.  We'll see.

Oh, right, dishes.  I'll have to set those up, and hope I can get to it before they cool too much, or I'll have to reset.  Ugh.  As well, I have enough laundry to toss in a small load.  Small loads = better.  I have a much better chance at getting them put up.  Other work, too, maybe.  And something else?  When mixing beans and beef?  Always add more beef, by a goodly bit.  I don't mind using a bit of thinner, but it shouldn't be the majority, not for my money anyway.

Good, good.  I might get to some things today.  I am really hoping I feel up to cleaning the front gutters.  If I do so, I may take a good look at those, and see about gutter covers, and maybe something like a filter... just for silt and anything else that might get through the actual top-over covers?  Nah, just top over covers, to see how well that does.  I'll need to find a garden spade and/or rake.  With the hose out, and ready, with a spot nozzle, I should be able to clean them really well, and the roof too while I am at it.  Bleh.  I'll never be ahead, but that isn't the plan.  Just... keep working.  Do what you can.  I think, maybe, as I am getting better, I will be able to keep more ahead than I might think.  Well, one can hope, and pray... and work.  Praying with hands and efforts.  Amen.

Later.

Way late.

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Both getting to bed and waking were way off.  I can't remember how late it was, past midnight, maybe as late as after 4:00.  Not sure what the problem was, or is.  Hopefully it's a singular glitch.  Feeling good, mostly.  Strange dreams, I don't remember any of them.

I think I am feeling enough better to attempt some work.  A shower first.  That is open, so it'll be easy.  Probably.  Afterward, a few chores.  If I move fast enough, checking the mail might be a good plan  It seems like the sun is out.  I wasn't awake enough to be sure when I was near enough for a certain check.  The sun is definitely shining, but is it in an open sky or will it close in shortly?

A shower, a visit to the post office, setting dishes up, folding more laundry, then if I have a bit more and the sun is up, cleaning some of the gutters... the front ones I think, first.  If I still have some energy, then to the bedroom.  Oh, if I can get the trash out, on my way to the post office, that would be good.  I think I can.  Some time after the post office and trash... and shower... if I can pull that off, I'll have a few eggs for breakfast, maybe an egg burrito.  That'll kill things enough to settle me down for watching something while digesting breakfast so as to fold things.

Well, I best get going if I want to get any of those timed matters completed.  Good day.

Long nap.

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A good one.  Dreams are hereabout.  Nothing to... messy.  I'm not recalling much though.  For me with my dreams, or you with me?  I have something for that.  I just can't tell you everything.  But... you knew that.

Not a bad wake.

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Up a bit late, to bed late though.  It just happens.  Couldn't sleep as willed.  Slept well, dreamed well if I remember little.  It is like going out and only remembering that a few people smiled and were pleasant.  I know why I couldn't sleep though, I forgot to turn the furnace down.  Sometimes, when it's warmer, even if I am ready I can't sleep.  Cloudy and cool again, today.

While I am under the weather, for whatever though possibly several reasons at once, I am just under.  I keep trying to reach through.  Rather than breaching the surface, as if through water, I end up bruising my knuckles.  It's cold enough down here that it doesn't hurt, more than ego anyway.  I keep trying to break through, and failing.  On the good side, medicine will be fully dosed and regulated when I do make it back into functional life.

In the past, even at this level of medication, it can take months to get used to it.  But the medication will always slow me down compared to my best... if that is rather weak.  Usually, though, if I have been on medication for a while, then just stumble, I can usually get back to work flow within weeks.  This wasn't just a few days, but it was up to maximum, since I stopped.  On the good side, I can enjoy the down days.  I am not so far down I forget, or worse.

Buying food was reasonable.  Chicken is good, but better mixed with other meats.  It is a bit much on the digestive system to just eat, by itself, over and over.  But with two meats, so as to alternate, it works.  I wasn't sure if buying foods was the best idea.  Actually, I think it worked well.  The price was right, and it has lasted me for a bit.  Plus I haven't had to cook, so dishes aren't backing up.  I may do it again when this runs out, also making beans and beef, and perhaps steaming large batches of veggies and storing those.  That mix could last me over a week.  This batch, without a bit to add to it, does no last quite a week.  A pot and pan, plus containers, for a week and an half to two weeks of food is doable... all at about $125 or so.  Give or take.

Well, on to waking.  Later.