Alpha, not just a man thing.

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The topic is heating up about Game. It is no longer a cad deal, it has invaded the Christian world like a storm. For good or ill, I am not sure, however I suspect anything that gets the hens squawking and maybe laying again is probably a good thing. Will this fix the WASP drought? I do not know. I say WASP, but I think that was just the origins, Pilgrim. I will say it is an exciting time. It is in the 90's almost every day, I have many (too many) things to do, My mom is visiting soon, and... I will still take time for this. Yes I will.

Alpha, my role as one, was not just my thing. Women, very much so, supported me in it. Or, it can be seen that way. I used to think that I... wandered... after a bit because I was a bad guy or because I was a dog. I must admit, I am beginning to rethink this notion. I am starting to think that when she, pick a she there at least 30 and I think I am being civil about that number, started to wear flannel to bed, suggest that sex was dirty (after all we had been through?), and started getting headaches and tired, my legs found their own path out. A sex drought is nothing to laugh at. Game is a dowser who can help us find a well, right were we live! Instead of needing to walk, I can... well, plant a garden, grow some melons, smell the flowers. Potentially this means I can homestead.

So, as I started to head to God, and saw woman as more than (or want to) sexual and domestic devices, something has been... putting on the breaks. Much like what I ran into today with Church and what I am running into while changing my life. Little, nearly hidden, stumbling blocks. Warnings from the past that "This way leads to doom!", well, another Doom. Ha! Here too, I finally see, what it is. Fragging sex. Women quit. A month, 6 months, a year, or 2 years down the line, they up and squat and say no more Mrs. Nice Guy. Something about it being sticky, or dirty, or difficult, or infringing, or... whatever else. I agree. And? I do not see the problem in that. Food is all those things too, but I have rarely seen them stop eating!

So, with the new thing about Game within a marriage, I am thinking... You know what. Maybe my alpha is not so much the problem. Sure, sure, beta has some use. But I have enough of that just packed away in my financial situation and from tending my own long term goals. A house with some land, a decent auto, even a massive kitchen set up with fine serving ware on top of the daily. That will probably be about as beta as I get, unless it is fun, as I enjoy romance on a larger scale.

I guess my point is this. I see women harping about alphas and the PUAs who are taking their cues from that. Most of these women have played their role, one way or another, in creating the very people and activity they say they despise. As I said, when going for "gold", women do not matter. Which makes them angrier. But you know what? Their emotional response makes (made?) my job a whole lot easier. If they want to become something, a part of the equation, they are going to have to pick up their end of the affair, make choices as a group that make them more viable, and some other things. Honestly, I do not think it is in women, as a group, to do. So, nothing is going to change. Hearing the hens cluck is entertaining though.

As for my part, I am now looking at extra tools to make sure that once I get a hen into the hen house, I might keep her viable enough to keep. This, like most things, is mostly up to men. Yes, it is a burden, but when we come from the right source, we bear it well I would say. We can use our power, skill, emotional reasoning, and charm to good or ill. Women can either find a man who has a game plan and buy in or keep clucking. But if they buy in, expect us to do what it takes to get done what we need done. Or, stray back to the dark side of alpha.

Just some thoughts. Good night hens and roosters all. Play nice, or at least be bad in committed pairs? Yeah... Ha!

Update:

Of course, there are options. Though I want a wife, kids, and all, I am rather comfortable being single. Want, need, want, need? Meh, want, of course. And, though cad is bad, a little attention at Wal-Mart prices is something to consider. *shrug* I think this bit, I stole from Ace of Spades (click on "continue reading at the bottom of overnight thread), 'splains one of the alternatives, Lucy.

A new life.

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Lots of things have been racing through my head today. Church, or the lack of it, of course. But too, as I prepare to dig in and start storing food, looking at alternative energy, begin tending my home, and thinking things over, I realize there are hidden complications, as with Church, which I must address. My old life and the beginnings of my new life are coming into focus, and that which lies between them becomes better understood.

My old life consisted of buying and tossing. Throwing money at a problem until it went away. Oh, sure, some thought went into what I was doing. Not as much as what should have gone into it. Money was cheaper than effort. Knowledge was and remains in short supply. And, frankly, my work ethic sucks, whether from disability, an auxiliary to that, because I can be lazy, or some mix does not matter. Throwing money at things is easy. Why do you think the government is beyond going broke and why nothing works? Other peoples' money is even easier to toss... right on into the billions and trillions. Weeeee!

My new life is, if I will have to again throw some serious money at it as well at least initially, focused on getting away from money as the source of... pretty much everything. The cost is physical labor, physical discomfort, gaining functional knowledge, and rather exacting scheduling. Livestock will not feed itself, and to produce well, it needs to be feed on a regular schedule, every single day. While there is equipment which will do that, how much of that depends on what may not be available such as electricity? And, of course, the equipment if used would need to be tended as well. Both would require knowledge and work, and upfront money. Further, how far back can I practically go? I would guess, to some degree, there are limits. An outhouse, for example, is probably quite illegal where I live.

So many considerations. So many areas I could enter and attempt to make inroads. And yet money is limited. Time is limited. And my practical ability to function in these new ways is quite limited. So much to consider. How much time we have, unknown but probably in years at the high end. How bad can it get? I do not think we have any idea, yet. We, none of us, not even those of us who have been forced to live primitively for short spans, even have a clue. Look at everything you use which requires electricity, possibly gas (of any kind), needs oil(ed), or even requires paint. Look at your clothes, your shoes, your gear... how long would any of that last without replacement, assuming you even have repair kits? How many of you use glasses? How many of you need medicine? How many of you are on special diets? The world economy, even if it ground to a halt for only a year or two, would see devastation to the population. And, not just in Sub-Saharan Africa, but right here. No place would really be better.

Anyway, I have a lot to go through, a lot to consider, yes some more things to buy, and a few personal matters to resolve. Oh, do I think this is going to happen? Do I! Or, yes. How long it will last, how complete it might be, how quickly we might recover... that I do not know. But it is coming, in years or less, hard.

Update:

On an old matter, regarding technical problems with my blog. There was a point where I could not read some comments. I think the problem, oddly, was that I was erasing notifications from my Blackberry, where I received email notification, before technically opening the notification email or seeing the actual comments on my blog. For some reason, this seems to keep me from seeing comments on my blog for an extended period of time. There might have been other problems, but I think this was one of them.

What?

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Ouch! I think that was my body. Something hurts a bit, cranky sort of, but I have no idea what it is yet, though I am pretty sure it is not the cat or something else. I have left dreamland well enough that I am into the reals of flesh and bone more completely now. Yes, I have dreamed were as I nailed wood together, the nail was somehow hurting me, or eating beef and my side hurt. Weird, but that is what dreams are. My achy body is neck and shoulder soreness, probably from oversleeping or sleeping just a bit off-kilter or too long in the wrong or one place. I simply could not wake up this morning. The alarm went off at 8:00, I set it for 10:00. At 10:43 I finally got up and reset it for 12:00. I am dragging around hard today. Well, fine.

I need to get my shoes polished, make sure my clothes are ready, get showered, shaved, brushed, and ready. I do not like dressing, officially, until shortly before I leave. I suspect 15:30 is the target time to leave for confession. So, 15:15 is time to start dressing. And 15:00 is shower time, at the latest. A shower earlier would mean, though, that I am dry when I dress. Yes, that should do. I actually need to start thinking these things through. Catch as catch can often sees me... missing out.

I suppose I do not need desserts, but I do want them from time to time. I saw strawberries yesterday and just had to have some. Going through the boxes of strawberries very carefully, I found one of the few really good looking groups. I also bought shortcakes and whole whipping cream. I really wondered, as per my history, if the strawberries would end up going bad, the cakes become hard, and the lot being thrown. But no. I cleaned and cut the berries last night, adding sugar to bring out the juices, then staying up later than I wanted to give the sugared berries enough time at room temperatures to begin to 'water'. Then, this morning, I found a nice big bowl, poured a decent amount of the cream in, added some sugar, and made a nice batch of whipped cream. Okay, not a healthy breakfast, especially for a diabetic, but you know what? It was wonderful. And, nothing will go to waste.

While doing that, a memory came to me from my childhood. I remember an aunt (not sure which one, or a collection of several memories) fiddling with some package like the one the shortcakes came in. They removed whatever, then went and found scissors, then cut the extra plastic off, then... whatever else. As a very young child I had thought that they had way overworked the situation. Why not just close it up, or tape it, or... You know what, whoever it was, was right. So, after opening the shortcakes and pulling two out, I went and found the scissors, cut the extra plastic, which was no longer needed, off, wrapped the rest of the package around, and set it on the folded over flap. Odd how what we used to think and the memories with them can be changed. It only took a little over 40 years for me to do so too! True, there are other methods. But this is neither too much work or a bad method.

Well, time to do my waking routine. See you on your blog. Good day.

Update:

Not quite ready for Church. The heat, the packed environment I cannot get out of quickly, all wrapped around a few other concerns. Not yet. And, I hate that. It is not yet time. In spite of growing and becoming more, I am still limited in some ways. God is, vital, in my life. I give myself to His will every day, at least once, in prayer and hopefully in how I live. I thank Him for each meal. I discuss life and all. I ask Him about contentious notions and ask that if I am going astray, that He guide me. I obey when I see His way to the best of my ability and am frequently pleased at the results of doing things His way. However, I am not quite ready for Church, for what I might find, not quite yet. This may not happen until the fall. The heat makes everything much more difficult for me. He understands, I sense. He also is not terribly happy with this. On this thing, at least, I cannot step beyond myself.

Palin on the way to the WH?

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There is a lot of buzz. Many, of the conservative and libertarian (new agers of each, really), are stumping for Palin. The heat is on, the ball may already be in play.

Sarah Palin? Look. I think highly of the woman, in a secular manner. She has raised a family, with some serious issues, in the national spotlight. She has overcome a "lack" of a serious (Ivy League) education to lead a successful political career. She is rogue, in that though definitely not "liberal", and yet she certainly has strong socialist motivations from time to time. Though I chalk that up to a phenomenon I call "skirt socialism". It is a particular form of socialism no woman can be without, or she would have to have a favored child... publicly (she very probably does privately, in her heart, as all mothers seem to do, if that may change over time... a bit).

Still, she has taken on the big boys. She has wheeled and dealed. And, come on, she is a gorgeous woman, not just for her age. She is pretty, and not a bit above average but out there on a limb. For her age she is simply astronomically attractive. But more, she has a good brain, she has a strong will, she has family ethic, she has proven to be able to handle family disasters without the use of 'nukes', she has charisma, and she has been an ardent supporter and pusher of, mostly, conservative notions. Not bad, really, not bad.

But as we face down the disasters of putting one incompetent minority into an office for which he is clearly unfit, any and all other irregularities aside, do we really want to put another in to replace him? Seriously? What the f are you thinking? How many houses do you have to burn down with the novel matches before you put them away or before someone simply has to take them from you? I live in the stupidest nation on the planet regardless of the education level. Two wrongs never make a right. And, to be absolutely honest, the way skirt socialism works... the difference between Palin and Hillary is the difference between the men that would be telling them what to do and holding their hands while they potty during a storm.

Oh well. You have been warned, but it was not the first time. Unless you base your decisions in respect of the source of wisdom and go from there, you really are just asking for what you truly deserve in spite of having someone already having tended that. Do what you must, but do not then blame God for doing or not doing anything. He did not tell us what to do because otherwise He would punish us (on earth). He told us what to do because to do otherwise is dangerous, fruitless, unsuccessful, shameful, and such. If we do not follow His advice, in other words, we will break.

Bah! Bah! Go away! I weary of this.

Too hot again.

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Well, I did get up pretty early. And, if I did little most of the day, when it began it was fast paced. Maybe I ate too much bread. Even half whole half unbleached white might shoot my blood sugars up. But it was hot today. Somedays just seem worse than others, and even if they happen to be the same everything, so it goes. Nope, got it. I am using that sweet Copenhagen to get rid of it. Did the same thing last time. A good day though.

I need to polish my shoes and prepare for Church, confession first, tomorrow. I am not going to plan for work this weekend, though if I get some done, all the better. Sunday is a shooting day. Up the canyon probably, where the higher elevation, trees, and brook will help to keep it a bit cooler. Earlier in the mornings or more likely later in the afternoon would make that all better. If too, I may have figured out why today seemed so hot.

I do not know, exactly, where everything is business wise. I received my first bill for my first house payment and will get that going. I need to contact them and put this on automatic payments. I am not sure how far to go over the minimum though. I think I can pull 20% but I would like to push it. Not wise though, until I see where my finances sit with the rest of my bills and the reality I am now living in. Perhaps a simple 20% for now. I am almost certain I can handle that with little pain. That would, pretty much, get my 30 payments down to 17 years, give or take a few months. My mouth waters, though, at about 35% to 45% over, or something like that, which would bring my period down into the 12 year range. I could do that, and pay all my other bills, and buy groceries. But I am not sure I could afford a handshake from a dog after that. I will know soon enough.

Lordy but the house is still a mess. It is not dirty so much as boxes are everywhere. I have not even finished completely unpacking the kitchen gear. The bookshelves are not up, the couches, end tables, and coffee table are in a traffic jam configuration if too off to the side enough for easy passage. I need another bed for when my Mom arrives, and for other visitors when they stay over.

And yet, for me, not bad. Really. A lot more could be done, and possibly should have been done. But I know a lot more will be done, or at least some more will be done. I might even fool myself and get most of it done. Only being required to go to town twice a week now, I have a lot more time and energy for the home. I think I will use a decent amount of it too.

While shopping today for MILK, I said milk, milk, lovely milk, I picked up some other things. Among them more beans, 5 cans of carrots, and 5 cans of spinach. The store I stopped at did not have much more that I could remember from the list. Ah, they would have had tuna though. No canned pumpkin was to be found. I will continue to work on that list, though I think I might join Sam's Club to further my goals in several areas, including many things on my "normal" shopping list. I need to look over their internet site, they have on splintered off the main one just for the local store.

Now to cool off. I sure feel like a nap but it is a bit too late for that and yet a bit too early for bed. I will tinker as I am want to do anyway. Darn but those peepers want to shutter.

This is probably good night. Good night Jack, Mary, Sue, Louise, Tom, Mums, and Pops. Yeah, you are on my list, well and truly. And thanks. If one of you is a real turkey dropping. Bureaucrats and atheism. What could have gone wrong? The rest of you have a good one. Oh fie, you too turkey butt.

No rush today.

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I thought I would be able to go shooting today. It could happen, but not before my friend goes in. He not only has the 16:00 appointment, they are still adding iron to his blood, that at 14:00. They are adding 12 "units" of iron, injecting it mainline. They cannot give him a "unit" every day, so it is every other day for more than 3 weeks. Anyway. He will go to the other place once he gets his iron and try to sneak in early. Either way, it sounds like we will at least get out for a sandwich and some shopping. He likes to go along, and sometimes finds things he wants. Or, he might want to go somewhere just for his stuff. It beats biking in the hot sun, which is his normal method.

So, my plans of getting in early are up in smoke. Of course, I was running slow anyway. I did call and do a(nother) accident report, with a fully charged phone. This time I took the name of the woman, who is other than the adjuster for the claim, who recorded the question and answer interview. If I get another call saying I did not supply an interview, I will give them her name. I am starting to think companies are "losing" things so as to hold on to cash longer or something. I am getting a lot of lost stuff at places that should not lose stuff. I asked her to make sure it got in, and she said it is automatic and that she could not do otherwise. I told her that simply could not be the case because this was at least my second time of doing this. Huffy, I think that would be the word. She did not like that at all. Too bad, the truth hurts. But she did give me her name. Cow roping? Done! Ha!

I have not gotten to the boxes, or lunch. Slog day. But, that is fine. Boxes, I suppose. No, lunch. Definitely lunch. My belly-buddy is giving me those sad puppy growls and poking around my ribs for snacks with his little claws.

You know, I got a response from a comment I posted at some other yahoos digs, which I then commented back regarding. Some people simply are stuck in what they were taught and have not, cannot, or will not pull their head out of a noxious place. They want equality, but refuse to qualify or quantify why it should be "granted", how it can be "granted", or if "granting" equality even makes sense. Respect? You want it? Fragging earn it. Trust, appreciation, acknowledgment? Same thing. You look like a hood I will certainly treat you like one. You sound like a little brain washed whigor, I will treat you like one. You think you know half of what you know, take it out on the streets and show me. Equality? Show me. Or scoot. Most cannot even understand that there are real standards. They cannot bend their mind around the fact that without meeting standards, that nothing else goes forward.

Look, if someone is severely retarded... literally... fine. Just so long as they do not crawl behind the wheel of a car, load a gun, or a bunch of other things. If they stick with what they can do, and they have guidance to help them do all they can do in a safe manner while they figure things out, sure. Acknowledgment is easy. But when they demand equality, no. When they demand more than what they can function with safely, no. When people around me tell me Johnny is equal in spite of the fact he cannot scrawl his name, bath himself, or keep his shorts dry, again no! I do not do that. If it happens to be that Johnny is black, is that racism? No, even if it happens to be all of them. It is simple fact. And I will not quibble, let go, give up, or set it down until we get to a basic understanding, set emotions aside, and put things and people where they belong. Proving me wrong is not possible. In a few decades, with the end of super equality, they might get a chance. Though, from what I have seen world wide, the most they can do is live within their humble means and understand that it is what it is.

Some people really need to hear that. Coward, you say? I have been saying it for decades you jackboot. Most people cannot and have not because they have had the threat of criminal, civil, and social boots on their neck and simply want to get by that to get to the money they need to pay their rent. I, on the other hand, am in no such way crippled by the state, my employer, or Sissy rotten crotch down on the corner. I am self sufficient and immune to blackmail. In any case, I merely noted that his two bit word and attitude did not negate a thing I said. Nor, I suspected, did his multi-culti friends have his back, at least not in the way he is suggesting. He keeps it up I will point out that his ignorance and arrogance is only equaled by impotence. Boyeah.

What happened there?

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I went to bed late, so set the alarm for 9:00, suspecting as late as my bedtime was that I might have to reset the alarm to 10:00. I am not sure what woke me, but I thought it was late. Sam was asleep still, odd. Checking the time. It was before 6:30! Ugh. But, I had wanted to water early. So, I put on some clothes and head out. Sam decided outside sounded good too. The plants watered, Sam out sharing the love with mice, I decided to go back to bed. No dice. The bed just looked wrong to me and the idea did not fit. So, here I sit, trying to figure out what to do with a whole day ahead of me.

I am pretty sure my friend will not be awake and moving around until 11:00 or 12:00. I will call him around that first time. Until then, I think more packing material and boxes will be worked. Breakfast would be good, but I only really have a few things. Hmm, sardines and crackers might work well. I know, but I do not have a queasy stomach unless in rough waters on a ship or a few other times. It might not be an ideal breakfast, but it is cool, easy, and tasty. More or less.

Who knows what I will get done today. It is not really a work day. Nothing but shopping, shooting, and going to the doctor with my friend is planned. Though I might contact the V.A. and check to see if they would connect me with a physical therapist. There are some other things I could do. There are a lot of things I would like to do. But my brain simply is not quite awake yet, in spite of the usual boot up time having passed and my news and blog chores tended. So, to the breakfast of Vikings and then to packing material and boxes.

Me up at 6:30, without an alarm, after a late night? Who knew?

Update on old topic:

It seems the guy who hit me does indeed have insurance. Whoever called yesterday... I simply do not know why someone would call me to tell me someone who hit me does not have insurance? He knew my phone number, the name of the guy who hit me, the date of the accident, my insurer, all of it. Oddly, he did ask for my date of birth (it was the only information I gave out). I received a call from a woman with the local company who has his policy, or more likely his father's policy. They, of course, need more information... a statement.

As I told her, I have given two statements to the very office she wanted me to call. The particular adjuster mentioned by the caller today and previous messages to me was not in the office when I called (and is not in the office again today according to the woman I just spoke with, come on, if women want equal pay how about equal play, she is NEVER THERE). Which means whoever took my statement(s), did not put them in correctly, or at all? Who knows. So, that is a task I will handle today. As soon as the phone charges. It always seems to die when I want to make a call, an easy job to tend, and a quick success to mount on the 'done wall'. Always a delay.

The good news? A settlement of some sort seems more likely. Then again, I am never sure what that might be. Here is $10 for gas to the doctor, now hike? Who knows.

Seriously, no pain.

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Well, a very light sensation. Or perhaps a knowing. But I have not felt pain from some, I think, serious wounds. On the one hand... Ha! But really, on my left hand, I cut the muscle in half. On the other hand. *grins* A pistol ripped a 3 1/2 to 4 inch long, 1/2 inch deep, gash into the meat between my thumb and index finger, right down to the bone. That last one did cause me shock, and I nearly passed out twice before driving 20 miles to the hospital, and once at the hospital. The only pain I have felt between the two was when they were cleaning the gash on my right hand, but only some of the outer layers of skin hurt, a minor rasping. The pain, then, felt more like a stinging of the top layer(s) of skin, but it was quite minor. The finger bothered me a bit, but it was more that I could not sleep. No pain killers were given with the gash, some were given for the finger, and only some of those were used to help me sleep. Both required five stitches, the finger needed cauterization, and stitches I believe, to staunch a bleeder.

Either I do not feel pain, or it is turned off as soon as my mind realizes it or shortly thereafter but before I become aware of it for the most part. The more severe pain that is. I have been working with my newest wound, the left index finger a bit, as per some instructions. The only time I feel some discomfort is when trying to close the finger into my hand. If feels cranky, rather than painful. And, now, a half hour after tinkering with it for about a half an hour, I get surges through it, which almost hurt.

I do not know if this is psychological or physical. I looked up neuropathy, a potential side issue for 60 to 70 percent of diabetics. That could not explain it, as that is a complete lack of sensitivity in extremities. I am quite sensitive to touch. I can touch people so lightly they shiver, and like to do so. I can even get Sam to shiver, mewl in annoyance, and head for nicer company. The only other thing I saw was caused by a mutated gene, so a birth defect. That also is not the case. I used to feel pain like anyone else.

What might be different is how much pain I have suffered and survived, a powerful will if it is not always in my hands to guide, a couple of what are called near-death experiences, and a one time adherence to Zen. Any or all of it could be involved, though it seems a little hokey to me. It could be related to my mental condition though. If I were to guess, it would be that. And yet I would say my mental health is very good, if I still have other issues of some physical nature, leaving me a little less active than most, and unable to truly climb out of some of that. Yes, I am crippled if I happen to be hobbling a bit more often and a bit better these days.

And yet, I fear pain. I seriously fear injury and pain. Pull a knife on me and I will show you, if I can. I want to be killed instantly, or I will do the same. Even knowing I will not feel a thing does not change my reaction to the threat of pain, or at least being wounded. And yet, too, I can feel minor pain. When Sam checks to see if my head is wooden (women!), I notice and change the situation. I tolerate that well. (Actually, she likes to suckle my earlobes! Huh? Which would not be bad, if a little too embarrassing for my weak ego, but then she kneads my face with her claws... youch!) And I can feel hot and cold, from light to very. Though, I do recall having put my finger in with the second batch of pan fried chicken, feeling "wetness", knowing that was a bad thing, pulling my hand out to... no burn or pain. Odd, I tell you. Simply baffling.

No, not a brag. Not goofing. Not anything. Just the facts. I worry though. What if next time I do feel pain. All of it. Yes, I do worry. After years of no pain I am not sure I would handle it well. Oh, one thing to note. Even if I do not feel the pain, I can very well be weakened by it. Some part of my body does indeed know there is a problem, and it taxes the rest of my system to fix that problem. On some level, it is known. I would love to find out why, other than in the horoscopes or some witch doctor, that is. The real reason why I cannot or do not feel pain.

Oh, thanks for the tip on the flea medicine. I ought to take Sam in for a checkup and maybe shots. She is going to love me for this almost as much as she loves her new indoor outhouse. But as they say, love hurts. Ha!

Now it is good night. I have... sleep to attend. And an opportunity coming up that I wish to be in shape to tackle. Sleep well, a prayer will be... *ding, you have prayer*

My best off day yet.

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A bit of tinkering after that last post, and yet I finally did get up and get going. I purchased a y-connector for the outside water faucet as I have only been able to find one and thought I might need two hoses at once, at some time. I planned on installing then test that first, but found that I needed to dig a little bit. The faucet sits right at ground level. Whoever did this... anyway. I was able to dig enough away, through dirt and some sort of mesh that surrounded the faucet area. I have no idea what it was for, only that it is still strong in a way. It is all around the area and required a bit of work to open up a large enough area for a sure fit for the y-connector.

After that, the system went together and seems to work well. After three or four adjustments to the handle, I was able to get the flow out of the sprinkler that I want. It does not quite get it all, completely. Yet more would end up soaking the house... the addition. I have been told that the house is sound but that I should not plant things close to the house so as not to water near the house. I can see that, but this year is an exception. Next year I should have enough on the ball to rent a tiller and plant a more reasonable garden in a more practical place. Or, I can hope it is more practical. I will be discussing the placement of a garden with my mother when she arrives. So, that is up and running. Now I merely need to go out my back door, set the timer for 15 minutes, perhaps move the sprinkler midway through, do that twice a day and be done with it. As it stands now, one plant is fruiting, six plants are flowering (all of the tomatoes and both of the hotter type peppers), and one is just looking green but a little beat up for some reason (that being the orange bell pepper plant).

I then thought to make supper, but realized all the butter was cold. So, I put some out in the covered platter for it, set up my bowl with charizo, beans, and rice (again, I know, but I did not feel like cooking), cut my bread, and studied the world and all through the skewed goggles of the interwebz. After a half hour, hunger got the better of me and to supper I went. It is a pleasant little meal. And, I am eating less and learning to proportion things a bit better. Life is coming along fine that way, I do believe.

After dinner, I decided to do some boxes and packing material. Four boxes of packing material was meticulously sorted, folded for a final check, and bagged. Then I went through the empty boxes, picked the best of several sizes to set aside should my mother want a few, then broke down the worst of the lot. That, and a bag of garbage from daily use and some of the plastic bubble wrap packing, are now in their proper receptacles waiting for their turn for the short bus ride home.

Not bad, not bad at all. A bit more might end up being done, though only neatening up the edges of a few areas, finishing off a few minor tasks, and perhaps some sorting of tools. I did get a number of tools together, put in their cases, and sorted to the area tools are generally collecting, awaiting a decision about their final repository. Or... semi-final... or something. Who knows how much things will change when my mother arrives and after I figure out what the heck I am doing, all on my own, in this comfy little fish bowl I have promised 4 or 5 years (if I paid nothing else) of my income to swim in.

Yes, some days, even off days, can see work done. It was not a problem. The late rise, while a bit of a surprise, did not throw me. Having to sort a few extra things to get to sorting other things did not allay me. And taking breaks, enjoying the day, spending time with Sam, and tinkering and trolling the interhighway was not a problem. It neither felt like work, like a chore, as if a hardship. I enjoyed it, mostly. I am looking forward to tomorrow. Who knows what will happen then.

I do need to go to the store. Milk! Oh I need, love, and enjoy whole milk. there are other things I need and want, and would like to get on that shopping list for the short term food storage program. If I probably have more of some of it already on hand than it might recommend. And, though my friend has an appointment at 16:00, I hope to go shooting with him before that. They will be testing the very thing we talked about today, or a possible cause of his continued infection... a lack of blood flow due to nerve death. I may simply go in with him, wait for the verdict, and go to dinner with him after to discuss it. I may be a forgetful friend, but when the opportunity exists, I go a little further. That is, of course, if he does not mind. Sometimes he does. Bah, I may intrude. The last thing I may wish to do tomorrow, at some point, is polish my shoes. That may, I say may, boy, see me in Church this week.

Beyond going to Church for the reason of giving communal, social, and public acknowledgment and praise to God, and getting to confession, I also have been being pestered by my conscience to talk to the priest about how I might serve as a non-advocate visitor to death row inmates. Why I feel called to this, I cannot say. It certainly is not to break them out, prove them innocent, or anything. I guess, because in some ways and more so in my eyes, they are the least of these. And what you do to these, you also do to me... As I have it, Christ said that. Yeah, okay. But I cannot do hospitals, so... But that changes nothing about the rest of it. Bread, especially this bread I am eating, is very good. But I cannot live on it alone. I really cannot. I am hungry, starving actually, for the Eucharist and to be humbled in His presence.

Later or good night, Bobby and Michelle. I hope you are still bickering. You might both be friends, but one of you kept the other out of the bars and boys nights, and the other of you is no longer available. Phooey. No fun, all growed up, and married with children. Still, good night... probably.

Merry Maid?

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Buying your own home, definitely your first one, is a life changing experience. Getting moved in and settled an acquaintance of any who move. When the dust settles though, the difference between renting and owning becomes very clear. On the bad side, a sudden realization that one is now the captain of the ship. If the ship starts taking on water, becomes engulfed in flames, or simply stops working, the primary and perhaps only one to fix that is the captain who is now you. It is frightening. They no longer teach shop to any competent level, and did not do so when I was attending high school. Further, being raised by a single woman, mostly, offered about as much education in this department as, say, it advanced my knowledge of cutting diamonds. This is a responsibility for a very expensive house and plot of land. Few of you know anyone who could buy it with cash, move in, and maintain their cash flow and lifestyle. Where it is located does not allow that without independent wealth, for one of many other reasons.

The better part of the equation is nothing minor itself. Now, when I see dust somewhere such as the cupboard I just looked in, I realize not only will I not be moving from it, I realize it is my responsibility. But, too, I can change it. If the cupboard is old, I can replace it. I even have a place to begin gathering tools to do so, perhaps even build my own, and I have the freedom to run any tools I wish. If I make a mistake while fixing something, I have no one to potentially hassle me about it. I can fix it in my good time. This is, after all, my ship.

The world is big. It is huge. So is even something as seemingly small as a home. The possibilities are endless, but money, time, knowledge, and the energy to make changes or even repair minor flaws is not. I do not think people can be ready to own a house, to a degree. If they are financially prepared, that is probably as good as it gets. Even a construction worker or plumber would have great problems, more so than me in many ways. Even with knowledge, they still have to work to make the money to pay the bills and so would be much more time constrained, along with personal energy finances and the will to make changes. I can learn. I have time. And, to a decent degree, I have money. I have to think that buying a house, roughly, fits in there with getting married and then having children. We cannot be ready. We can only be interested enough to get in over our heads and then make our way to the bank of the river and finally take the plunge.

Work is going along fairly well today. A few tasks have been completed. After this little gig on the intratubez, I will do a bit more. Something that simply seems to be intractable, however, is dealing with the tax rebate. It is something I will need help with and I have no idea who to even ask. I know few know enough to be helpful. I know the help offered may actually be less helpful than others, and possibly harmful. I am not sure what to do with this mess, right now, today. So, I go on to other things until I figure out how to get that going.

I think the watering system is the next job. After that, boxes and packing material will be tended. With more counter space due to the dishes and silverware having been handled, I will be in a good space to begin unpacking and cleaning more of the kitchen wares, creating more boxes and packing material to be tended, and adding to a bit of a difficulty with where to put everything as is, but slowly whittling down the unknowns and opening up floor space. I have a lot of cupboard and pantry space, compared to what it might seem. And yet I have so much in the way of kitchen wares, that space management becomes a little complicated for me. Add in my inability to negotiate the work and art of arranging things, and, well... think of a kitten with a ball of yarn and the endless possibilities. Try as we might, it is a fight the cat, and myself, cannot quite win. *big pleading sorrowful eyes* *HELP!* Oh well, Mom is arriving soon. Once set up I can, mostly, keep it that way. Merry Maid was the question? No matter what home ownership is doing to me, that is one thing I will never become. Though, on the flip side, a group I may need to call. *hiss*

Still, with the late start, doodling, and waking up, today looks to be a successful low-key workday. And that is good. I should rise and conquer, again. So, I will.

Later.

Huh?

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Sam was mewling all morning. Which seemed peculiar. Or had I just been dreaming of her being a pest? So, at about 8:00 or 9:00, I decided to get up and let her out. Stumbling for my shorts and a t-shirt, I dressed and started stumbling my way on through the house. I was able to find my glasses too, this time. As I went by the dresser, I glanced at the clock but it did not register. On through the house toward the door. The view of the alarm clock on the dresser started coming into my consciousness as I neared the kitchen. What had it read? Troubling. Could not be... if I could still not recall exactly what I had seen.

I have three or four other time pieces in the house, but could not think to check those as I was fixated on the alarm clock in my room and my broadband was working on one or two thousandths of their usual bandwidth, so I did not or could not consider using them. After letting her out, I headed back to the bedroom. This time, more fully awake, and spending a little more time at the machine, I read clearly 11:45. Hmm. Had the alarm gone off and I turned it off unthinkingly, without remembering? Had I forgotten to set it? Who knows, but a late start was in the offing.

To the computer, into news, blogs, and my own rebooting sequence, if a little later than I had planned. All that done, except my own post, I sit here thinking about the day. No butt planting season is in the offing. I have a bit of juice, interest, will, and lots of little things which can easily be done this day. I already had lunch. Beans, rice, and charizo. I had not prepped cereal last night so nothing was ready this morning. Still, that is fine. A little something is good enough. Hamburgers or maybe spaghetti or beef stroganoff tonight, probably.

Dishes ought to be first, after watering the plants and seeing if little Miss Fluffball is indeed using her new privacy room. Then a tending of empty boxes and packing material. At which point I probably will plop my buns into the executive chair it so loves... and hates. It is my... my... my precioussss. Of course, I may need to make some calls right after dishes in the hopes of talking to someone live, on the phone, regarding the tax rebate. Then some play time. More work a bit after that. Nothing heavy today. I will not push and shove. I will merely do what I might, if I try to keep a solid pace while working so as to get to more time sensitive things. Living in Iowa, if not the best in many ways, made contacting people by phone a bit easier. Living in the West is a little more complicated. Whoever I call, depending on where they are, might be closed well before, seemingly, I even begin my day. My afternoon might well be their evening. I still have not quite internalized that yet. But beyond, I never know, when I place a call, where it might end up locationwise.

That finger, by the way, is going to need a lot of rehabilitation. I thought it would heal faster. I also thought once healed it would be pretty much functional. I was way off. Even at this point, I cannot come close to folding the finger. I am not sure, at this point, that the problem is swelling. I think it is merely that the as the muscles knit, they did not do so with full motion access and could not have had that or they would not have repaired. So, I am going to have to stretch the muscle, much of it new material, into allowing a full grip. I guess I am amazed. Especially as little pain as I felt. Mostly just enough pain, or sensation anyway, to keep me from sleeping. Good pain threshold, bad indicator of real damage, each has it's place.

Well, on to some work. Be good. Take those opportunities when they come. You never know when you might not get another one, or how soon if you do. Today, for me, again, is that chance. And I am hopping on with spurs and a gleam in my eye. If too I am only going to ride it at a walk, on a level path, to the tree on the corner and back. But darn it, I AM in the saddle again today anyway.

Good day.

After an hour...

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After an hour of searching online, I finally know what I need. Or more the name of what I need. Though it will be used on the footboard, I need a headboard support brace. I think. I have not seen one, not a full length one, but that seems to be the name of it. Searching using this engine and that, these codewords and that, has yielded nothing. I cannot even find the frame my bed uses. And that is a good thing. My frame is built like a bed frame tank. It is also bad, it means parts are difficult... no, so far impossible... to find. Calling these stores will net me a conversation, most likely, with a salesperson whose ass and a hole in the ground are indecipherably similar to state conversant. I may have to... fabricate. A welder, eh? I like it! Well, we will see. :P God, (speaking to Him, not goofing here)... God, I do love the jobs you seem to force me to do if nothing else than for the toys and skills which they lead me into. A. Men.

Oh, while putting that bed frame together today, I was not wearing shoes. I did, after a bit of knee burning, decide to put on my knee pads. Oh what a pleasure they are. I thought carpeting, padding, what could go... ouch! Just a tip. Anyway, one of the bars, the heavy central one, thick hard, tall steel one, decided to tip. Why these things cannot just stay where I set them I do not know, but learning curves are quickened by pain. Anyway. It decided, all of it's own as I certainly did not lend my consent, to tip over. If it had been sharpened, it would have cut off the toes of both my feet from just below the knuckles, on my side of the knuckles. Wowowouchies. Yeah, I did learn. Oddly, I did not limp and am not sore currently. God, thank you for cutting off my pain receptors when I forget to use my main nerve, the brain, in my day to day work and play. A. Men.

I may go out, with flashlight in hand, cool off a bit, have a pipe, and monkey with the hoses, timer, sprinkler, and faucet. I do not think I can hurt myself doing this. And, I am pretty sure, I should not say that. Ever. Oh, this could hurt. I did try, finally, to buy smelling salts today. I could not find them locally, if I did not try every single place. After three tries, I gave up. I am looking online. These are rather difficult to obtain, actually. I found one place online, so far. I need to make sure whichever card I use, however, is set up to my new address. Frag, complications, always. God, thanks for not striking me dead, as I sorely deserve, when I am grumpy. Really really. A. Men.

Well, good night. God be with you because I will be out getting hurt. A. Men.

I may be awake...

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But the day is done. I finished off the last of the brisket, along with a couple of slices of the half and half white wheat bread. Yes, that was worth the price. If I do something, it will be along the lines of finishing the dishes, and maybe pre-cooking some grains for in the morning. Yes, yes, germinated wheat and all. Fie if I can keep that together. Maybe as I am home more? Maybe. What I have heard though, is just like the wheat cereal, pre-cook any raw grains by bringing them to a boil, turning off the heat, and then simply leaving them in the pot overnight. In the morning, cooking them for five minutes or so by bringing them to a boil, dropping that to a simmer, and stirring as you go. Well, five to ten minutes. I will see. I purchased several types of grain mixes, one stamped to resemble oats, the other group simply chopped to a medium course meal.

Tired, indeed. Still a bit hot, but being out of the computer room and doing this and that helps. A little stroll and maybe a pipe outdoors in Sam's company might help me to cool off even more. By the way, she really does not like her new kitty litter cage. I think they must have put her in a similar contraption to take her to the vet, always a bad thing to her it would seem. Whether it was feeling she was trapped or the memory of the vet, I will never know. Still, I put her in twice. Sadly, the first time, I had the lid on wrong so she could not get out. My bad, but uhrm, it was sort of cute. The next time it worked. In any case, if she has to go, she knows where it is. I will be watching for tell tale signs of... dissatisfaction.

About my hand strength. I wanted to see just where I fit in. I found two sites which offer data, though in kilograms rather than pounds. No problem. My pull with my good hand was 152 pounds, or 69 kilograms. This study, if old, is the one I remembered to save. The other suggested that anything greater than 64 kilograms was excellent. I really am not sure what to think. Why am I obsessed? Because I am so out of shape, have not been lifting for two years and only lifted for a few months after decades of not lifting. Why would my hands be that strong? The Dyno-Flex... sure, but that was used for a while, then became a novelty. It has been packed up with my weights too, and probably has not been used since I lifted weights either. Now, I suppose, I am curious. In any case, I am either simply excellent in hand strength, or ridiculously hand powered. And I realize I do really need to be gentle with women. It is not just a perception. My last gal had thought I did not need to be at all gentle, in any way. If I might overplay it, it is in caution. I do not think what she thinks has anything to do with what is. I could peel the skin off her back with a simple grasp and squeeze. I could possible do that to a healthy fit male. Ouch.

Tomorrow, like today, is another opportunity. I make a list, realizing none of it might get done. My off days, after busy days, can be... troublesome. I am not always able to kick off sleep and dig in. No matter my will. Tomorrow, though, I hope to alter that. A lighter schedule, fewer heavy things, and planned play time with the possibility of an afternoon nap might help.

Tomorrow looks like a good day for boxes, dishes and the silverware group, after my morning computer and wake up time time. Then back to the machine for some game time (I have not played World of Warcraft seriously, just checked my game mail once, it is time). Then a call to see about the tax rebate. Perhaps someone knows more. A few checks with insurance companies and perhaps some other business. Then an afternoon blogosphering. And maybe setting up the hoses, timer, and sprinkler if I do not do that yet tonight... I am thinking on it. That still sounds like a lot, and yet very little. Who knows.

A city holiday is coming up! On the weekend of the 24th is a city festival. There are events all weekend. I will certainly show up for some of it. It sounds fun. Hopefully I will meet some of the more civic minded locals and get a feel for who's space I have invaded, and let them get an idea about who I am. It just sounds fun. Oddly, when my mother was mayor, I hated going to these things. Well, there were personal reasons (she thought I was as handy as Obama, only, you know, functionally). Yes, I just said that. But too, I did not like civil affairs. Then again, I did not care for many of the people. New day, new people, new chance. And, I will bet, no beer. I do not mind beers, even in pairs or squares. But that is a private thing. And damn it, no pot or worse. I am hoping I live in a... more... family oriented place. Anyway. I am excited!

Last thing... 156/98! You know, that is good. That is excellent. Most of the medicine would not do that. I may still be dying, but I am dying just a little more slowly. Now if I could quit with the sugar... But sugar, corn syrup, honey, and the rest... it's EVERYWHERE. Do they make that shit in China too? Frag!

Good night.

A decent day, so far.

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To the appointment I went. Traffic is murder. Just about as soon as the ignorant college punks get off the road, other unfamiliar drivers arrive. Tourists! From 20 to 90, driving mostly like they are in the upper range. Oh, fine, your old and you drive like Mario, only politely. Sure. Anyway. I make it there alive and without pulling someone over, finding a 2x4, and doing what in all of man's history is a natural thing. And we wonder why we have a "population problem". *sigh* Fine, fine, someone is grumpy. As one of my dumb mom's used to say... or all of them?

After the appointment I did not know exactly what to do. A sandwich at the shop I went to a few days ago. Turkey and swiss this time. I like the beef better, but want to check their other fare. Still, not bad, not bad at all. A run to both Wal-Marts and finally to Lowe's. At Wal-Mart, I did buy a contained kitty litter deal with a floor filter and pan, two collars to get her used to a collar before I try to put on the flea collar (which I will do occasionally if not perpetually), and a kitty litter mat to keep her litter where it needs to be. I ended up going to Lowe's, though, because neither Wal-Mart had plant cages. Lowe's did have them.

I did find my shoes, for Church. That will lend to them being polished. Soon, I am sure. I did not find a furniture store I thought would sell parts for the bed frame, though I did not stop in to check. Chain stores, and sidestreet mall stores, which is all I saw, usually do not offer parts or pieces and often cannot order. Or, at least, from my experience. I was not sure what else to do, and it was getting hot. I had, as usual, been trying to call my friend several times after leaving my appointment. Finally, tired and hot, as it was nearing 5:00 or so, I decided to get gas (my usual spot is near his house), then drove over to see if he was there yet. No answer at his door, so I headed out but decided to drive by the city bus depot and see if he was walking back, as a last shot. He was.

So, with all my business done, I asked if he wanted to go to Smokin' Blues. Yep. He had a half rack of ribs (more like a boatload, probably 3 meals for him). I ordered, making sure they were in strips not chopped, a plate of brisket. That will end up being two meals for me. Very good. I do like their sauces. They have three kinds, all with their own use. I probably prefer the hot Texas style, though any could and have come into play depending on mood. But tonight I used no sauce. A couple of beers apiece, a little flirting with the fine filly who served us, and on the way we went. He went home, then so did I.

I would like to work on the sprinkler system tonight, and see if I can get that going. If the cat or fowl or other livestock can wake me early enough, I would water early morning, before 7:00 anyway. Then water again at noon and then in the evening. In truth, watering twice a day is the most likely scenario. Tomatoes, and really all of those types of plants, need a lot of water to grow and produce. With all of the tomatoes flowering and the one bell pepper plant peppering, the cages and watering will go a long way toward seeing life settle in.

Ah, by the way, today was test day at the doctor's office. My right hand grip is sitting at 152 psi, up 8 psi from last time. I had more, but that is enough. The left hand is a gimp 102 or 104, typical male strength. But I could not even use that hand last time, so it's okay. I am hoping the gyro will get that repaired in a few weeks, a month at the outset. But more, my blood pressure was down. I believe it was 156/98. My doc was happy, and asked what I had been doing. I told him I was staying away from other docs. Ha! A cat, a life and home I am working for, goals, and successes, along with normal complications, headaches, work, need, want, plus a change in diet, actually. Still, I am a bit surprised. I thought it would be down, I can sort of tell by the lowered volume of the ringing in my ears, but not that far down. That is almost as good as I do on meds when they work, with Ritalin, and about as good as it got (135/86 being my best, but not good enough for the docs). As for the hand... I want to break 180 psi. And you know what? I think I will... if his machine goes that far.

Well, on to the unfinished dishes (I thought that out well, ran out of time and had to go). Then to figure out the watering system. I will only be going into town twice a week from now on, as I am doing much better, concerning my back and neck. So I had best get my lists and shit straight. Though that does leave another day I could go in earlier and be done earlier (or not), just for shopping and business.

It is all coming together. A bit at a time, a project at a time, and yet... I am stuck on some things. Short term food storage, yeah, I can do that. Long term food storage? Buckets to buy, deciding whether #10 cans or 5 gallon buckets, both and if so in what percentages, then obtaining this and that. Yeah, I have sticky projects. Lots of them. Those too, in time, will receive the jam hammer. Yes they will. Damn it though, why not all of it now! Ugh-a-chugga

Hey, later. Do not say I did not warn you... Wait, one more thing. When I discussed the reaction of the roomful of young women the other day, I may not have been clear. My predator claws and fangs did not come out, nor did I sprout InternetAl or DoesSheLoveMeDoesItMatterClinton horns during the encounter. It was more like seeing an empty box, opening it to check, and finding a bunch of KITTENS! (assuming you are a cat lover) Warm, fuzzy, happy feelings. If I did note beauty, as is it's due. I did note some friskiness too, and I enjoyed that they were at least as surprised and... pleased... by the surprise(?) as I was. I am wondering if my size has something to do with it? Anyway, just so you know.

Now, back to regularly scheduled programming.

Opportunity taken.

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Whatever is wrong with me on those off days, like yesterday, does not intrude on every day. For whatever reason, I could not have done a butt planting today, sowing the seeds of regret and sorrow later. Who knows though, perhaps I simply need that time off when I take it. As I said, today is not a rest day.

I did not make it to city hall, but that will happen. I want to see if I owe money currently, when bills are due, and make sure they have my correct mailing address. Oh, that is something I could tend today as well, getting both of my old mailing addresses sent to this new one. They never did send mail from my original Logan address to my second address, even after 3 attempts to get that done. I think I will put the change of address cards in this post office. Perhaps Logan post offices are... problematic. And, no, I was not the only one. Both the people I "rented" from and my friend had the same problem for various lengths of time. I would guess my hosts corrected their problem more quickly by putting their card in to an Hawaii post office where my friend and myself kept trying to slog through the Logan post offices. Ugh...

I got the bed together! Well, mostly. I do note that the guys who put it together initially did, at best, a shoddy job. I wondered about some things, like why the headboard always came loose. It is not like I had them working in a bad, dangerous, or hot condition. With AC and lenience, too much it seems, I simply let them do their job. They asked if they could skip a couple of pieces (one now lost somewhere), and I consented. At the time, though, I was more interested in getting back in bed than in doing things right. I had little of anything to offer in defense or even offense. And, they took advantage of it. The bed is together correctly, save for the endboards. There is a piece missing that now goes on my list. I have to do something though, I realize now, as otherwise the parts that connect to the endboard will otherwise present a danger. Even a couple of dowels, drilled through, of low height and decent girth, would be safer. I also need better washers for the head and endboards. You would think for nearly $2k, parts would not only be good but right for the construction. Doh!

I watered the plants. They are looking better. All tomato plants have blossoms and the one green pepper plant fruit is getting larger daily it seems. The other plants might or might not do a thing. I am not even sure I will get tomatoes. But it looks good, it is pleasing, and it gives me more daily chores. I do need to get 'baskets' to put around the plants though. The green pepper plant needs support badly, and if tomatoes do come on, those plants will need even more support. That, too, goes on my list... or is refreshed as I see the plants actually surviving. Another thing with that, maybe tonight, is to rig the hoses, timer, and sprayer so as to water the plants more easily. I have 100 feet of hose, which should be enough. The timer is just a twist timer, so I will need to watch it a bit. I am nervous about the sprayer though. I am hoping I can only partially turn on the water and still use both the timer and sprayer. More engineering is at hand, and it simply might not work. In that case, since I still have not returned the leaky watering hose, that might come in to play. Options, gotta have options.

The dishes are soaking, too. A fresh batch of dish water, and some tumbling, before I changed the cat litter out and then watered the plants. I plan on having those done before I head to my appointment. Time is slipping away quickly, and I also need a shower. Shower first, I think. That way if I need to abandon the dishes part way through, I can. Though I doubt it, there really are not that many. Still, think tactically, then move forward... innit?

Good day.

The next opportunity.

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Every day is the next opportunity. At least in a bigger picture short term way. Some nights, and even whole days, I fear falling, failing, or even succeeding. Some days, when I crawl into bed, I have more hounds of doubt and fear both their numbers and even any particular one of their ferocity. Too much to do, I do not know how to do any of it sometimes it seems, and there are no easy answers or helpful people to guide or instruct. I seem to making things up whole clothe to do too much of what I am doing. I am not even certain where my finances sit until the bills... for everything... begin to roll in. Not fun. And yet, quite often, with a nightly prayer, a shutting off of the day as I lay my very weary head in spite of nothing having been done, and then some sleep, I get my next chance every morning.

This morning, Sam woke me to let me know she thought outside sounded more fun than inside. Hmm, glasses I thought? Who cares. I just wobbled through the bedroom, living room, kitchen, and then down the hall to the door and fumbled with the locks until the door opened. Then back the return rout to bed, looking at the clock on the way. It was 8:45. I thought the alarm was set to go off at 9:00, but checked. Yep. I simply reset it for a 10:00, seeming quite tired still. And yet, after moments back in bed, I simply got up, turned off the alarm, and started my morning news and blog routine.

Now, as I wake further, plans are beginning to form. I twist the Dyna-Flex, mostly in my wounded hand, but to give it a break also in my good hand. That cranky finger is getting more flexibility back, and strength too. My ability to use it more fully is returning. It will be a while on this, that is the most severe wound I have had in a long while. Still, pushing through the rehab and reading the news, my nearly subconscious mind is thinking about what is to be done, when, and how. As I wake, that background comes more to the fore and I begin developing a plan for the day, or usually. Today I have not yet developed a plan. I merely know what is on my lists of recent days that has gone undone. The bed, the tax rebate, and clearing the boxes. Other things start to ring a bell, dishes, perhaps some laundry (which brings my mind to the fact that I would like to set up a chorus of clothes lines), and that I want to revisit city hall.

And, today, I am pretty sure I will get to some of that. I might get to all of it. I might even get to more of it. When I get busy and go places with my mind and will back in place as if sleep acted on them like my chiropractor functions on my spine, things pop. And, today, possibly, is one of those days. Wasting a crisis? Sure use it as a learning experience, nothing more. Governments do not make money so opportunizing a crisis only costs us and usually in very bad ways. But an opportunity, that is something that should not be flushed. Capitalizing, turning lemons into lemonade, on the next chance is what all life truly is about. Which, in stated truth, means less government and more self. So, it is time for self.

Lots of farm animals can be heard in the mornings here. I know there is a rooster, geese I believe, lambs or goats, horses, mourning doves (which I do not actually appreciate but my mom will love), and some... other animals yet to be identified. I would guess the others are fowl of some sort, though cannot swear to it. It makes such a rich medley for the ears each morning, like breakfast for the mind. As for waking me up... If they can, they are welcome to it. I really am in the right place. Oh, and farm smells. Feed, droppings, the animals themselves... also a plus. Perhaps, truly, I am provincial. I take that as a compliment, if too I know I do not quite fit in here either. It, at this point, is merely sentiment on my part. It is not my way of life. Even should I go down that road to an extent, I will never even be able to be a farmer. If that is never always needed or even the point. I am a stranger at home, but quite happy to be home.

Well, I best do a bit more waking, maybe put the bed together, then shower and see if city hall is doable. Good day.

Almost nothing done.

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Two meals, a download of the tax forms I need. One of those filled out, or mostly. The other on hold until I can call someone or talk to someone in person. My problem is this. If I file for 2009, I will definitely be in for a quick return. The catch is that I have to file for 2009 taxes as well. Now, that does not matter, in a way, it is simply extra paperwork I am not familiar with, so one more thing that could go wrong. The problem with filing for 2010 is that, though I do not need a tax filing with it, I will have to wait until they process 2010 taxes. I am not sure, exactly, when they do that. I have not filed taxes in over 20 years. These things mean nothing, substantively, to me. We might as well be talking about womens' periods. Huh? *headlighs!* Huh? Yeah.

I did eat the wheat breakfast, but keep messing up on making the next batch. Yeah, well, okay. I added a sliced up grilled charizo to beans and rice for supper. I simply could not pack another meal in there. Plants have been watered. The cat seems happy, plus I have been letting her in and out all day as she pleases. I also began using the Dyna-Flex on my wounded hand. It is ready and I was able to hit it pretty hard. I think it will help straighten out the finger, which was going crooked due to the healing. It still swells, but this might help that in time too, moving fluid out as muscle is reformed and the circulatory paths are fixed or used. I did not check the faxes though. I only hope they went through.

No, for the most part, I sat on my butt and doodled. Blogging, minor games, news hounding, and resting. Although I may or may not change my mind on the ac. After writing that, I went into the other parts of the house. Only this room is all that hot. In part, as I suspect, because of the computer. No dishes were done, the bed was not set up, nothing else. Maybe I hit a plateau. Maybe I am sliding down. Maybe I just press it too much on the days I do work. I am, deep down, feeling burned out. Pressing on is going to be difficult. I will do as much as I can, and try to get some important things done. But, I do not know.

Well, it is not all bad. I have been sleeping small periods, staying awake the whole day, and doing at least snippets of the list. So much to do, so many things to buy, my mother is arriving before long, and, and, and... Yeah, okay. I will just keep doing what I can.

Good night, Grandpa and Grandma. I hope you get to argue where you are, at least a little bit. I do not think you would be happy otherwise?

Memories.

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I was just thinking back to a discussion I had only a year or two ago. I had spoken with this woman on numerous occasions, covering topics from feminism to politics to environmentalism, and so on. We knew each other somewhat well if I would not have called us friends. I would say we had to my mind a mutually satisfying association. As is the case, I do not quibble. Right, wrong, or somewhere in there, I put it up like I see it. Sometimes whoever I am discussing things with can put a few holes in the idea, sometimes they cannot grasp what the thing is. Those latter usually are not included in future discussions. Of course, whoever I am speaking with gets their turn to float notions. And thus time is spent and familiarity gained.

On this particular occasion, after discussing some particularly contentious topic, we discussed the discussion, my opinions, and her nature. She had a strange look on her face, and looked at me a bit sideways as well, and asked if I knew who she was. I thought about saying yes, and asking if we were together on this, to check the logic baffles. Yet, with a simple affirmative word, acknowledged my understanding hoping it was truly a rhetorical question. Then she asked if I understood where she stood on issues. Well, again, but more weakly, the urge to be cautiously humorous or too literal flittered across my mindscape. And again I went with the simple expected, assuming the sanity of my fellow conversant, and acknowledged that I knew.

Why, she asked, if knowing who I am personally and professionally, what my opinions are, and in the naked light of day do you say what you say, she asked. The answer is quite simple. Because I believe what I am saying and because I doubt if you have ever heard what I am saying or thought about other possibilities other than what you have been taught to believe, or at least in a very long time. I think she finally realized that I believed in nothing she said and was not playing the devil's advocate or simply trying to woo her into cuddling, with all that that entails.

She honestly, up to that point, thought I agreed with her. Then, perhaps, realized the pattern in all that I said. And further realized she had no rational defenses. She could not believe that I would trespass on her tranquility, at least knowingly. At some point she probably thought everything I was saying was wrong, until she peeked behind the wizards curtain a time or two to great horror and surprise.

Yes, I knew who she was. Yes, I knew what she believed. None of that mattered a bit. Further, she was the one who would initiate the conversations and often direct the topics, if I would not necessarily let her sneak out of them when the debate was going down hill for her beliefs. She, honestly, needed to hear what I was saying more than most ever will. She had no real experience in life, business, construction, math, or... anything. And yet she held herself up to be an academic and wise woman.

I do not know what impact any of what I said had. But I do know her brain was becoming at odds with her whole belief system. Something woke up, something she had lulled to sleep with years of incessant indoctrination and social events. We spoke after that, as regularly and randomly as before. But there was something different in the relationship. If I had to guess, I would say her evaluation of me, oddly, went up... a great deal. And yet, in discussions, her views did not seem to change a bit. My guess is, as I, Vox, and many others have noted, what a woman says often has nothing to do with what she means. I even realize, had she been to my taste and within certain parameters of interest at the time, a woman like that could very possibly end up being my wife.

It is an ugly cruel world, there are dark clouds everywhere, the possibility of death and dismemberment abound. But, with a little care, patience, and diligence, one can happily scrape off the silver lining and make a wonderful peanut butter and jelly sandwich.

Just saying...

Simply too hot.

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Whatever the temp, I really do not care, I know I will not be able to suffer through the summer without air conditioning of some sort. Though I have a thousand other things I would love to get to first, I realize my capacity to do what I wish to do will be heavily compromised by my inability to work in this heat. Therefore, my next project is establishing at least one air conditioner, a number of fans, and begin figuring out how best to deal with the heat.

The good thing, from what I can tell, is that the house is rather well insulated for the most part. Some of the windows are a bit rough, but most are double paned with a decent air cushion between the panes. The front room, where I currently sit and have my computer, is on the south side, so gets hit hard. As an addition, even well insulated, it does not have the protection of the heavy stone of the main house nor as much shading as might be optimal. Though wherever I put the computer is going to be hotter, it is the nature of that beast. I may, in the long run, consider putting in a weather-proof door between it and the main house. There are a number of things, like that, which might be useful in the longer run but which are too cost and time demanding along with the rest of what is going on to accomplish currently. All new windows downstairs, another couple of compartmentalizations, and probably central air. As well, this fall I will be looking for two more trees. I also need to, in time, discuss the condition of the trees I have and how and when I should begin planning for their replacements. It would be unwise to let these things just go.

I have been dithering between a swamp cooler and central air. After my preliminary investigation though, I am probably going with central air conditioning. Though it costs more to run, it is certainly less expensive than the short term options I will be using this summer. If I worked during the day, only being home in the later afternoons and early mornings, I would not need this. But such is not my lot. I am simply here and it is simply too hot. Further, this is only early summer. Two more months, at least, plus higher heat and less cooling at night means my hopes for a simpler living style are not possible.

Another wheat breakfast was in the offing this morning. I do taste the malt flavor. It sort of has a vanilla and corn flavor to it. I added a bit of sugar today, which made it taste a lot like corn fresh off the cob. It is quite filling. Now, my bm's are a bit odd. I was wondering if I would be going more often, or with other changes. I did not quite understand what D.C. meant, I think, if I did think I did at the time. I am going less often but more densely. Volume and density is way up. I am, I would say, laying lead bricks. My toilets, I think, are old and of the everflush variety. And they struggle. Sometimes I have to let the logs soak. A few times I thought the plunger (which I cannot find) would be needed. Logs, I tell you!

Not much will be completed today. I really am hoping to find instructions for the tax form and find which of those 100's of pages in my closing documents is needed, and have that ready to take to town for mailing tomorrow. I also hope to clear the packing material and cardboard boxes to the trash or recycling as per those rules. Perhaps I will boil some eggs, wash that silverware set in the way, and ready for the next round of kitchen set up, whenever that might happen. I would also love to get the bed officially set up too. It looks like too much work for what I have available and how I am feeling, but it could all happen. Or, little of it could happen. Aspirin, I think, before that. A little time out tinkering some more. Watering the plants to get me outside for a bit. And then I will think on it.

Bah! And again. Bah!

Dream thoughts.

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As I shake the dust of sleep from my eyes, pull the jello flesh more tightly to the bones which act as my support stones, and mull life, thoughts seem to flow so easily. Random thoughts come and go. A few themes develop from time to time in that flow. And as I work through my boot process, these themes are sometimes followed down whatever rabbit holes appear to lead to where I think the white rabbit will be. Some mornings are more entertaining. Some are dark, with foreboding, mystery, darkness, and pain everywhere. There is no necessary rhyme or reason to where or what, they just happen. Sometimes, if waking up is proving difficult, I may go into dream states and almost literally see what my mind is doing, like watching a movie of what my mind is developing. This morning, a couple of the notions, if they did not go all that far, have been playing on the screen. One is about the why of liberalism. The other about feminism, if more lightly treated and reviewed.

I wondered why someone would vote, or support, or propose things that are plainly not true. I wondered why people would devote their whole lives to getting other people to believe in something patently false, baldfaced lies, and detrimental governance. I did split the groups up, as must be done. Some of those, to a greater degree, are merely doing what they were told by those they have given authority on the matters or over their lives. None of these are purely innocent. Yet they are merely pawns. The other group are the people who know precisely what they are doing, they understand why they are doing it. Whether they are more amoral or immoral is another matter, though here too I see no purity regarding immoral or amoral reasoning there.

Those who have surrendered their right to think for themselves often simply accept what they are told by those they consider their betters. Often these are people, oddly, who decry social order and having rules imposed upon them. Or put in a more direct manner, people who do things society does not accept. They may do things that are, beyond that, clearly outside of the law. I am not discussing speeding 5 miles over the limit, or even necessarily smoking pot once or twice a month. I am talking about people who deal in drugs or other black market goods or whose living is dependent upon that, like the girlfriend or wife of a smuggler. Of course, there is not an absolute need to be directly related to either a criminal type, the illicit actions, or the money. Some people simply have friendships, almost exclusively, in those groups. Pedophiles, necrophiliacs, heavy drug users, even heavy porn consumers and drinkers might well fit in this category. There are others, but that sort of gives a gist.

Those who prepare the orders for the above, or the troops as they might be called, are a different matter altogether. These people consciously develop strategies to both give the troops cover, expand "rights" in illicit areas, and produce advertising strategies that are comparable to anything major companies can put out in order to expand the rolls of the troops. These people, from "gay rights" activists to drug lords, work diligently to expand their markets, include more people through direct or indirect involvement, and to engage the political powers both illicitly and through seemingly legal means. Socialism and communism fit here, as they exhibit the same types of behaviors and programs.

I was thinking back to when Vox translated Mussolini's motto. All for the state, nothing but the state, nothing against the state, if I remember correctly. If not that serves quite well as at least a tolerable paraphrase. Now, for the 'generals' of whatever liar group you wish to examine, replace "state" with their group and you about have it. Try, 'All for gays, nothing but gays, nothing against gays.' or 'All for the union, nothing but the union, nothing against the union.', and you will begin to see how these false groups work. They all, often, base their advocacy on populist socialist techniques. This generally works better on the left, for some reason. A group that prides itself on it's independence and free spirit. The irony becomes quite plain quickly.

As for the 'little Indians'? They find their own reasons to follow whichever of these socialist populist 3 step self "help" groups they choose for their own tastes. Old women porn your thing? Well, there is a group for that. Add in unions, academia, and a large serving of welfare, and their is a decent bloc from which to gather support. It is a mix and match thing. If these people are not trying to change the world, they are trying to keep what they kill. There logic, when looked at for just a bit, and thought about at all, is so weak it is mush. Though it is the same with their leaders. The difference is their leaders get the media to repeat things so often that they often pass from the consciousness of doubt. How many here believe that lesbians make devoted, loving, happy couples? Do an FBI statistics check on domestic violence, a general social review on infidelity, and a numbers sniff about drug use in that group. Just look, in other words. And yet... why... you never knew!

As for feminism, I just had a funny bone thought. Well, it did not start out as comic, it just morphed into it with my final moments of thought. It started out considering the problem with parity regardless of sex. I related this to other topics, and then thought, what if we decided all things everywhere must be equal. All appliances, all lighting sources, all electrical devices, all of it, had to run on the same amount of electricity, the same wattage, voltage, and current. This would, to be sure, save on complexity for electric providers, electricians (if many would die), and it would be a ton more efficient. Step down transformers, step down and up converters, inverters, and all other electrical/mechanical thingamabobs are inefficiencies, they lose power in the process. People would die, buildings would burn, and life would become hairy for electricians.

Women were never made to be in parity with men. Biological differences make that impossible. Biochemical reactions make that impossible. Even brain size and function alone, given an equal biochemical stimulus, makes that impossible. And yet, here we are, in a "modern" "scientific" nation firing the head of a elite university for even suggesting the truth. The modernists are no more out of stone-age emotionalism then any pre- or post- modern religion they can point out. Simply it is their emotionalism which has power, a power they are not willing to concede, but not due to logic at all. Oh, the funny thing... About parity... Imagine if feminists had pushed for, and the law had seen fit to stride for and to some degree achieved... weight parity! With some feminists today, sure, but imagine if this was the intent of schools. Stuff feeding girls so they weigh the same as boys of the same height! What a gas! No, I mean it. What a gas!

Pun, as an afterthought, included.

Have a good day.

Just a bit more done.

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Cooling off always helps. It has cooled off both outside, soon to be inside, and I have as well, or am on the way to that. I might need to add a bit more water in on top of everything else though.

The fax does work, if it took a bit of reading and experimenting to do what I wanted done. I think the letters they wanted have been sent. Though they received two blank ones to start off. I put them in upside down, while juggling all of the new to me steps and potential and actual mistakes or at least unnecessary steps and button presses. I will call them tomorrow and find out if they have indeed received the letters. After tinkering with that, I also pulled down the IRS form, updated thankfully, for the tax credit. I am pretty sure, since my income is from the V.A. for service connected disability, and SS disability, my modified adjusted gross is $0.00, however I have decided to check on that and a few other things. So, that will not be filled out tonight. As well, I am supposed to include some particular paper from the closing, however, I have a manual sized grouping of papers and I have no clue at this point which one they want.

No boxes where broken down, no packing sorted, and yet that is fine. I seem to have a go-get-em' attitude that finds me trying to do, or at least scheduling, more than I can reasonably accomplish. If I can keep track of what I missed, what is coming up that is time sensitive, and some other things, I will do well. I am missing some things, but fill in where I can. I am, to a greater degree, working to get as much of the mundane periodic payments automated, trying to find a pattern in this mess from which to base a regular life upon, and hoping many of these demands will fade a bit into the background so that I might have time to focus on some of the things I actually feel a need to do, such as swimming, fixing the hen house roof, cutting some branches over power lines to one of the barns, and living a bit more of a relaxed life... At least until I can gather finances, strength, will, and whatever, for the next big project. I would guess it will be another month or two until I am on my feet enough to rest a bit.

I would be totally overwhelmed if I thought this was how it would be for the rest of my life. I would hike somewhere and stay out there. I simply cannot tolerate this level of intensity, at least at this point, for long periods of time. I do know the time will come when I can access a bit of a breath, take some serious downtime (if trying to stay active and maybe exploring the neighborhood and meeting local people). Or, really, more time for what I want to do and less time being 'stolen' by necessity.

I am learning a great deal. From how to fax, to how to construct a grill or put in a faucet. I am beginning to resist so much new and strange things coming into my life. I like knowing, I like learning, but I need a break from it from time to time. Every day, something new which leads to three other new processes, skills, or people. Too much too fast. My head is spinning. But I know, as I said, this time of demand will pass.

But darn it, I want to hike to the lake and swim, I want to hike in the mountains, I would like to set up the weights and work with them once in a while, and I want to relax a bit in my new home. Of course, it is not even set up, so that complicates that scenario even if I did force some downtime. On the good side, it is all coming together, and rather well. Perfection is for another life, but a good solid B+ will work here and now. Good guidance, a little effort, a decent bean on my block (if I do say so myself), and... I am getting there.

Grumble as I may, tired as I am, it is all good. Sleep well.

Steak!

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I have been a good boy. I have been working every day, if little some days, for... a while now. Does anyone remember the posts from Iowa? I would sometime sleep days, I would lose track of... everything, for... extended periods of time. Months would go by with no more done than... dishes. I was trapped, isolated, confused, and crippled. Not so much so today. Crippled, I suppose, but not like that. If I was comparable to a quadriplegic, I am now a paraplegic. More, I am getting better.

I did not know, coming out here, I would do any better. I might well have settled down in an apartment, lacking the drive or will to find and fight for a home that fit my needs within my budget, and just died. And though I may still die, it will not be from a lack of concerted effort not only to live, but thrive, grow, mature, and develop myself and now the property that has come into my stewardship.

So, a steak was cooked. I also cooked chorizo, though as minor adds to the beans and rice, or whatever. That grill is indeed working better as it becomes seasoned. I may have mentioned this, but I recently purchased a ribeye roast, and had it cut to order. Half of it was sliced 1 1/4 inches, the other half was cut into 1 1/2 inch ribeye roasts! I had the latter. Oh, my, what a fine steer. A baked potato and a couple of beers finished the deal off cleanly.

I forgot to mention that earlier today, while doing my events, I ran into a passel of women. Young, beautiful, women. No, not college girls. These were in their 20's, except for one teenybopper. There must have been, I dunno, a small room full of them. And they were not together. When I walked into the area, surprised by the wonderful event, I meant to duck and scoot. I am no longer a lion, I have retired my youthful ways (and form) and they were so young. Wow! Whatever I used to have must be still in play to some degree. Some ogled me, really. One, the one who caught my eye and slowed my advance, nearly said something. I saw her jaws starting to jaw then quit a time or two, like I was leaving in slow motion. She, in my book, was an 8. No makeup, no heels, just everyday wear. And you know what I think of 8's. Even the teenybopper, not quite sure what was happening but caught the drift quickly, smiled quite nicely, either trying to fit in or really catching something of her own. I do not think she knows what it is about, but seemed catch onto something quickly. Oh, it was mostly just nice, mostly. Pleasant smiles and nods and whatnot. Still, one thing I do know, women are rarely just nice for no reason. Not that nice. Was it Sir Galahad? Just a little peril? No? You must be gay. Anyway, paint me pleased. And, humbled, a little weak (but I did not show it), and excited about the prospects. I am in the land of real women. And, I think they think I am a real man. BoYeah!

Well, a few things will be done tonight. The steak was a gift for good done, with a promise that more would follow. I will try to figure out the fax and get those things sent in. I will pull down and print the IRS forms to get the tax rebate, and fill out what I must for that and have it ready to mail. And I will do as much as I can in the kitchen with the empty boxes being torn down and the paper packing getting a fine toothed comb going through to make sure I did not miss anything.

By the way, my lady friend packed things better than any pro on the planet. She will get some dividends soon enough. Some paddles, wooden ones, ones with a crook in them to ease the pain she gets in her wrists. I meant to get those anyway, but not the case for them that will be along with them. Small things in a way, huge things to someone who has nothing. She earned those, if it is going to hurt to stretch for them.

Hey, yeah, later or good night. Prayers for all of you, want, need, or even like aside. Be well!

Wouchies!

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It is not hot. It is fry me weather. And I am not alone. The temps seem to be saying it is only in the 90's, but for some reason if feels much hotter. Perhaps the temps are getting up faster, staying longer, and the nights are not cooling off as much. Whatever the reason, the visit to town was cut shorter today. I simply could not keep it together.

I did stop in at the coop and buy a couple of bundles of various grains for breakfast alternatives, lunch, and other experiments. I bought several textures and types of grain, and will be figuring them out soon enough. I also visited the local outlet for food stores. It is really great. Beyond the capacity to buy in bulk, bringing my own 5 gallon buckets all set up or I can buy empty #10 cans there and they will pack those, with the necessary bits that help maintain the contents. So, I will be looking over prices, soon, and deciding what they have is of interest, how best to pack it, and such. The white rice is out. I will simply have to buy brown rice and store it in 5 gallon buckets myself. White rice is deficient in too much of what would be vital in a SHTF scenarios. Everything else looks good.

I then called my friend, to see if he wanted to be a man about town. Sointenly, Curly! Or, was it Moe? Well, I could have sworn that is what he said. Oh, a wiseguy? Says I. Anyway, we went to Wal-Mart, to look at their wheelbarrows. All plastic tubbed, so a no go. I had stopped at Lowe's earlier. They have steel tubs, but they come as kits. I saw the price for the tubs, between $44 and $165, but not for the kits. Perhaps that was all included, just not assembled, but if so there was no indication of that on the price. The one guy working out there did not seem to speak English. O... kay... Then we went to a bread shop, which also serves as a deli. A sandwich sounded good, and it was. Beef on a rye or pumpernickel bread, with nice veggies and a horseradish mayonnaise mix for an added touch. I also bought a couple of loaves of half and half wheat/white bread.

After that, though, I was shot. I could not even figure out what I wanted to do next. It was simply too hot. So, I took my friend to his house, suggested we go shooting some time this week, and headed home myself. I am still a bit too warm to do too much. I figure a quick shower, change into shorts, and some chill time before I do much more. We will see if I can get to anything until I do chill.

Later.

Another week!

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Excited, meh. And yet, yes. I am not sure what I am doing, how much I have left, how much more will come down the pipeline, or anything. I am a bit dazed and confused from the level of activity, the demands, the work that has to be done, and the work I want to do. That is not including the non-work projects, or simply living. Yeah, okay, things are a bit fuzzy. My choices seem limited to quitting, taking a nap and checking things in a bit, carrying on at half steam, or damn the torpedoes... ramming speed! I am aiming for somewhere between those last two choices. Damn the half steam!

I did cook rice this morning, and added it to beans for a decent lunch. My body is starting to crave what I used to consider goo foods. I think I will be looking over other foods while in town today. I plan on stopping in and looking over the long term food store, the coop where I will investigate other good grain type foods for short term trials, and get to buying the short term (3 to 6 month) storage foods on my list, and then some. Between these foods and the butcher shop, I think I will find myself in good (truly) eats and on my way to a better short, medium, and long term eating habit and survival situation. Yeah, it seems easy, but look how long it took me to get here, get here here, set up enough to begin this, and finally today to activate the purchasing. I almost break into a sweat thinking about it. Do not look back.

Yep, beans and rice for lunch, with a touch of sour cream, a little salt, and I am ready to burn a little energy. Beside the appointment and purchases, I may stop in and check on my friend. If he is around and up to it, I may take him along. No shooting or cruising today though. Perhaps Thursday will be another shooting day? Yes, that would be good. Beside checking on him, I want to see if he has made progress seeing the doctor about fixing his nose. My mother has taken care of what I needed her to take care of, so on that front I am half done.

I do have some things to do and time is running short. So, into the saddle and away. Good luck on getting going, getting it done, and staying with it. Remember what you do not do today may haunt your sleep or at least still be there tomorrow. Good day.