.
.
It sure is a lot more work than it seemed. And it seemed like a lot of work to start. Which... is why you don't even make a meal like this weekly, even monthly. Not even chefs do this, if you truly understand things. They make things ahead, in bulk, freeze if possible or refrigerate, then what has to be fresh, heating, and assembly is what is left. No, not a small task. Less so given that few if any restaurants have only one or even several courses available. As well, a chef has many employees quite often, plus wait staff and others who, if the show really must go on and they are short, can be put to work.
Amazing though. Everything that needs to be fried or sauteed or... else... has been done. At this point, the beans, bacon, some of the juices, bones, and the a cup or two of stock plus other water is coming to a boil. Nibbles? Well, NO! I have had to taste things, to make sure... several times... to be extra sure. Professional duty. Though, now, I am hungry. I should have something... Hmm? I have more sausage than I will need. And I cook sausage done done, regardless of what else I may do with it. Pork to and Iowan must be done, done, through, and over. Hmm... yeah... one of those would be good. Two would be better. Too rich to have more. Mustard? Yep. The benefits of being a chef... or cook. We'll see.
I know, when in France, I ate this or something like it. Not just once. My memory seems to shift, but I am certain I had this there, probably several times. I have dreamed of this. I may even, when in Germany, have tried this there. When you taste something that absolutely blows your mind, you begin wanting to try it in other ways and places. Or... I do, did, still do. I don't have wine, this time. But if it doesn't quite work, I may search for a wine that is common to use in this dish, try it first as a drink... to know it's flavor, profile, what it might add, and then do that. I won't be looking for a drinking wine, just a cooking wine, probably just for this dish. Store a case of it for possibly yearly revisits for the next several years... if this doesn't work.
Ah, the nice thing is, I will be putting everything back right into the pan in which I cooked everything but the beans. Oh, yeah, I think that will be quite good. While I did set the pan aside, I will be putting it back to heat before too long, in order to deglaze with white wine vinegar. Yeah. It isn't this, or that, or the other thing, that makes some foods good. It is the layers upon layers of flavor additives and flavor boosting techniques. Could skip one, sometimes will, simply by accident or incident. But not this one, not this time.
Yes, yes, the stones are soaking, should be ready when the beans hit a boil. I have three knives out, and the bucket of stones and towels set. A workstation. Three different sized knives, two with a Japanese angle, one a European style blade. Yes, yes, I know the angle difference. If hitting that angle is a bit or a trick. We'll see. Be back when... probably when it is completed and I can give a report. Perhaps. Later.
Saturday, September 3, 2016
Yes, yes, I'm working.
.
.
I woke a good number of hours ago. The nap was rather long, as well as needed. I did a few normal waking events, then was going to blog right after setting the bacon and then onions to go. My barely awake mind did not realize the conflict. You CAN'T fry things, in a high heat way, AND get on to blogging. Do one, or the other, both can't be done simultaneously.
So... I started on the bacon. Diced, but in such a way that shrinkage wouldn't cause them to become just background... stuff. Then onion slices. While one is doing this and that in prep for this and that, and has much to do, or at least in my experience, and with some things, there isn't a good stopping point. So, while needing to be out there anyway, I got to boning the pork chop and dicing that meat for frying, getting the packages of sausage out... just to have product placement as they don't need any prep work, and then removing four pieces of chicken from the fat... then heating some of the fat, pouring it back in, so as to seal the chicken exposed but not used. There was more fat than needed, which had been removed. The extra went back into the less full tub. Yeah. That really is a lot of work. But this isn't dinner, it is a feast meal.
After that, the pork bits were fried, almost over done. I just hope they do well in the bean stew. They are delicious, so perhaps. Then on to getting the frying pan ready to cook the sausages. While doing these things, I have been using the extra fats to clean various cast iron pans and such. When I am done, I will save some fats to clean and season/reseason a few last cast pieces. Yeah... I really am enjoying this. I also, in there somewhere, parted the chicken confit from bone and skin, setting the skin aside for a fat medley and tossing the bones in with the beans, which will go on after the sausages are finished and the skin, pork fat, and butter has been rendered to a golden trio of deathly deliciousness (if you believe doctors... a fool if you do).
Getting closer. Oh, I do believe I will set my wet stones to soak. I would like, while out there watching the beans ever so closely while they cook, like to sharpen knives and maybe a couple of straight razors. I am hoping practice will make perfect. I will start with the kitchen knives. Those can have minor flaws... I have little skin in their use, so long as they are reasonably sharp. I won't, actually, be making them reasonably sharp. I'll be making them nasty wicked sharp, even if I don't get it just right. So, it's not like I'm worried about the difference between pretty sharp and a bit dull... These will cut when I am done, just perhaps not as well as a perfectly sharpened item. Or, actually, just as well in reality, the only difference identified by tests that have nothing to do with kitchen cutting. Still... it's never sharp enough.
Right. The pan should be about ready to kick up the heat, time it down, then start the sausages. Oh yeah, I'll get there. Later.
.
I woke a good number of hours ago. The nap was rather long, as well as needed. I did a few normal waking events, then was going to blog right after setting the bacon and then onions to go. My barely awake mind did not realize the conflict. You CAN'T fry things, in a high heat way, AND get on to blogging. Do one, or the other, both can't be done simultaneously.
So... I started on the bacon. Diced, but in such a way that shrinkage wouldn't cause them to become just background... stuff. Then onion slices. While one is doing this and that in prep for this and that, and has much to do, or at least in my experience, and with some things, there isn't a good stopping point. So, while needing to be out there anyway, I got to boning the pork chop and dicing that meat for frying, getting the packages of sausage out... just to have product placement as they don't need any prep work, and then removing four pieces of chicken from the fat... then heating some of the fat, pouring it back in, so as to seal the chicken exposed but not used. There was more fat than needed, which had been removed. The extra went back into the less full tub. Yeah. That really is a lot of work. But this isn't dinner, it is a feast meal.
After that, the pork bits were fried, almost over done. I just hope they do well in the bean stew. They are delicious, so perhaps. Then on to getting the frying pan ready to cook the sausages. While doing these things, I have been using the extra fats to clean various cast iron pans and such. When I am done, I will save some fats to clean and season/reseason a few last cast pieces. Yeah... I really am enjoying this. I also, in there somewhere, parted the chicken confit from bone and skin, setting the skin aside for a fat medley and tossing the bones in with the beans, which will go on after the sausages are finished and the skin, pork fat, and butter has been rendered to a golden trio of deathly deliciousness (if you believe doctors... a fool if you do).
Getting closer. Oh, I do believe I will set my wet stones to soak. I would like, while out there watching the beans ever so closely while they cook, like to sharpen knives and maybe a couple of straight razors. I am hoping practice will make perfect. I will start with the kitchen knives. Those can have minor flaws... I have little skin in their use, so long as they are reasonably sharp. I won't, actually, be making them reasonably sharp. I'll be making them nasty wicked sharp, even if I don't get it just right. So, it's not like I'm worried about the difference between pretty sharp and a bit dull... These will cut when I am done, just perhaps not as well as a perfectly sharpened item. Or, actually, just as well in reality, the only difference identified by tests that have nothing to do with kitchen cutting. Still... it's never sharp enough.
Right. The pan should be about ready to kick up the heat, time it down, then start the sausages. Oh yeah, I'll get there. Later.
Almost naptime.
.
.
The dishes available have been set to soak, the last of the laundry has mostly been folded and put up, the last third remain. I simply needed to sit for a bit. The chicken was also put away, in fat, with the extra put into tubs for future use as well. My efficiency will improve, but this was not bad for a first run. Unfortunately one of the pieces of chicken just would not, could not, be put in the container. I was unwilling to find another container, this one being so very close. I sacrificed for the good of all the rest of the confit chicken and team, and bit into one more. Only for the Gipper, boys and girls. While I was draining the oil through a filter, I caught the garlic. I had split a full head of garlic and dumped it all in. I almost through it out, but not! Just in time I thought to add it to the chicken that was browning. Oh, my, fine save! A few became nearly burned, quite dark, and yet... little bits o' heaven.
The chicken is up, the fats are up, all was cooled of course. Dishes ready, just waiting for the bean pot most likely? Or will I just store it in the pot after cooling? Yeah, I'll see. I need to cool the beans quickly after cooking, to keep them from finishing. But I can put them back in for the final production scheme tomorrow. I am not sure if there is enough beans for some to reserve for ham, though I believe I better pull out a number of ham steaks just in case. Worst case scenario, I have ham and eggs sometime soon... often. My nose knows no skin in these? Nope!
Ribs are getting tender. A lot of bending, sitting in this unsupported office chair, being an overstuffed ogre... all good. I'll get over it. It is incentive to lose weight and become more active. I best get to the last of the laundry and then hit it for a bit. Gotta admit, it's a good day and looking to be a better week. Much to do, much done, the pain, confusion, and the rest is doable. Good day.
.
The dishes available have been set to soak, the last of the laundry has mostly been folded and put up, the last third remain. I simply needed to sit for a bit. The chicken was also put away, in fat, with the extra put into tubs for future use as well. My efficiency will improve, but this was not bad for a first run. Unfortunately one of the pieces of chicken just would not, could not, be put in the container. I was unwilling to find another container, this one being so very close. I sacrificed for the good of all the rest of the confit chicken and team, and bit into one more. Only for the Gipper, boys and girls. While I was draining the oil through a filter, I caught the garlic. I had split a full head of garlic and dumped it all in. I almost through it out, but not! Just in time I thought to add it to the chicken that was browning. Oh, my, fine save! A few became nearly burned, quite dark, and yet... little bits o' heaven.
The chicken is up, the fats are up, all was cooled of course. Dishes ready, just waiting for the bean pot most likely? Or will I just store it in the pot after cooling? Yeah, I'll see. I need to cool the beans quickly after cooking, to keep them from finishing. But I can put them back in for the final production scheme tomorrow. I am not sure if there is enough beans for some to reserve for ham, though I believe I better pull out a number of ham steaks just in case. Worst case scenario, I have ham and eggs sometime soon... often. My nose knows no skin in these? Nope!
Ribs are getting tender. A lot of bending, sitting in this unsupported office chair, being an overstuffed ogre... all good. I'll get over it. It is incentive to lose weight and become more active. I best get to the last of the laundry and then hit it for a bit. Gotta admit, it's a good day and looking to be a better week. Much to do, much done, the pain, confusion, and the rest is doable. Good day.
While resting, plotting.
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.
I have a while to go before the chicken cools. I suppose the last load of laundry is done, or will be soon. Yeah, I'll do that right away. Three loads down is fantastic. As for dishes? Those can wait until the beans are done. Which... will be a goodly while. Maybe even after all else, a nap, and yeah... a while. Waiting is the worst part, really. I'll survive.
As I mentioned, plotting. What is my next big caper? No, not that caper... nothing pickled about it. I think? Ah, right. A terrine, or pate... mostly the same thing. Yeah. I have been thinking on these for... many years. Fooling with such is perhaps not the most practical of things. They have bitten more than a few, and not just to mild illness. Though I think people would be absolutely amazed at how unclean some Europeans, hired help, and restaurant folks can be, more so in the past though it comes and goes. Teaching cheap uneducated help, from third world countries, who know nothing about hygiene, to even wash their hands after using the facilities, is... difficult. Don't even go there. Before touching food, and after certain things, even as I am being cautious with water, I wash. I just am very careful to dry well, and not wash when not needed.
.
I have a while to go before the chicken cools. I suppose the last load of laundry is done, or will be soon. Yeah, I'll do that right away. Three loads down is fantastic. As for dishes? Those can wait until the beans are done. Which... will be a goodly while. Maybe even after all else, a nap, and yeah... a while. Waiting is the worst part, really. I'll survive.
As I mentioned, plotting. What is my next big caper? No, not that caper... nothing pickled about it. I think? Ah, right. A terrine, or pate... mostly the same thing. Yeah. I have been thinking on these for... many years. Fooling with such is perhaps not the most practical of things. They have bitten more than a few, and not just to mild illness. Though I think people would be absolutely amazed at how unclean some Europeans, hired help, and restaurant folks can be, more so in the past though it comes and goes. Teaching cheap uneducated help, from third world countries, who know nothing about hygiene, to even wash their hands after using the facilities, is... difficult. Don't even go there. Before touching food, and after certain things, even as I am being cautious with water, I wash. I just am very careful to dry well, and not wash when not needed.
Backing it off.
.
.
With two loads of laundry washed, dried, folded, and put away, with one more in the dryer, I believe I am finished with that for today. The chicken confit, the main part of the batch, is cooling in the fat. Two drumsticks were baked for an half hour and are just cooling as well, themselves. After the snack, I may watch a movie or read a bit.
I still must cook the beans, chopping then frying the bacon with onion slices to add to the beans. As well, I need the chicken to be cool enough to remove the bones from the pieces I will be using in the dish. I am not sure exactly how I will be storing the chicken, or what it will be stored in. I am hoping for the smallest vessel possible, so as to reduce it's footprint in the refrigerator and so as to reserve more of the fat on the side... in [a] tub(s) also to be refrigerated. So, just a bit more before I can even start with the beans, but not too far. A couple of hours I hope, though... this is an experiment. I have absolutely no idea how long any of this will, could, should, take.
Hmm... a small dose of sunflower seeds sounds good, too. While I am feasting I will... feast! Two drummies are but a tease, as any would know. These might turn to be delectable ones? By odor, yes. Still, would be nice to have greens, of almost any kind, to plate with them. Ah well, next time. And there will be a next time.
Oh... timer clicked off and I didn't realize. Time for my snack. Later!
-----
Delicious? I wouldn't call it that. I am not sure there is quite a word to describe it. Calling the most beautiful woman who ever impressed your eye "cute" would similarly fail. Well, for most of you. And, as to filling? Surprisingly. I thought I would be starving after. Not even close. I did have a spot more, if I think that is reasonable... the last of the plain yogurt sprinkled with a dose of sunflower seeds. I've wanted to try this with pistachios, but those are so dear I just can't quite do it. All nuts seem to have become insanely expensive. I can't really afford them. Sunflower, sort of. Pistachios are right just in or out of my per pound for rare luxury items... if I don't count that half and probably more of the weight is shells. *le sighe* Oh, right... but that's the update, just in case you were curious.
.
With two loads of laundry washed, dried, folded, and put away, with one more in the dryer, I believe I am finished with that for today. The chicken confit, the main part of the batch, is cooling in the fat. Two drumsticks were baked for an half hour and are just cooling as well, themselves. After the snack, I may watch a movie or read a bit.
I still must cook the beans, chopping then frying the bacon with onion slices to add to the beans. As well, I need the chicken to be cool enough to remove the bones from the pieces I will be using in the dish. I am not sure exactly how I will be storing the chicken, or what it will be stored in. I am hoping for the smallest vessel possible, so as to reduce it's footprint in the refrigerator and so as to reserve more of the fat on the side... in [a] tub(s) also to be refrigerated. So, just a bit more before I can even start with the beans, but not too far. A couple of hours I hope, though... this is an experiment. I have absolutely no idea how long any of this will, could, should, take.
Hmm... a small dose of sunflower seeds sounds good, too. While I am feasting I will... feast! Two drummies are but a tease, as any would know. These might turn to be delectable ones? By odor, yes. Still, would be nice to have greens, of almost any kind, to plate with them. Ah well, next time. And there will be a next time.
Oh... timer clicked off and I didn't realize. Time for my snack. Later!
-----
Delicious? I wouldn't call it that. I am not sure there is quite a word to describe it. Calling the most beautiful woman who ever impressed your eye "cute" would similarly fail. Well, for most of you. And, as to filling? Surprisingly. I thought I would be starving after. Not even close. I did have a spot more, if I think that is reasonable... the last of the plain yogurt sprinkled with a dose of sunflower seeds. I've wanted to try this with pistachios, but those are so dear I just can't quite do it. All nuts seem to have become insanely expensive. I can't really afford them. Sunflower, sort of. Pistachios are right just in or out of my per pound for rare luxury items... if I don't count that half and probably more of the weight is shells. *le sighe* Oh, right... but that's the update, just in case you were curious.
I am sometimes amazed.
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.
In what seems the blink of an eye? One load of laundry pulled and folded, another put to dry, and a third set to go; the fats liquefied, chicken patted fully dry, placed in the fats and then in the oven, adding a split full garlic bunch; coffee made and arranged, and a few other things. By the way, that marinade of salt, pepper, thyme, and time was fantastic. If I have ever been tempted to consume raw chicken, it would have been then. Yeah. I'm not even awake. I haven't had tea, and just started on coffee.
I have a few items to wash, of course... somehow. The damn things sneak up on you, like indians or white man. How would I know? I'm a breed, twice over. That's how I know! Damned sneaky, if I needed to be, probably. It's in my genes, and other places I shouldn't discuss. For now I believe I will just kick back a bit. The chicken has between another hour and hour and an half to finish. Then? Then I'm going to cook a couple of them up. I don't have any greens by which to cut the richness, but I'll survive. I may end up using a lot of this quickly, given the recipe, that they are just (if very plump) drumsticks, and that I will be eating two right out. If I like them, I may set out thighs and do another batch. Yeah... I'd like to experiment with these. If I really like them, or only so so even, I may go with duck next time. Or may anyway... or next next time? Yeah.
I won't start the beans until the chicken is done and cooled. I will be dicing the cured smoked pork to go in with the beans, and the bones both from my snack drummies and from the chicken confit I will be putting into the dish. Hmm... I should have thawed stock. I have some I could add, if I would have to skip today's portion. No problem. I'm sort of eating enough as is so as to not worry. This time I really need to stay right on top of the beans. Actually, while it is coming up to a boil, and then until a simmer is reached, I will probably just sit out in the kitchen. I've got books, reading exercises, and might even soak stones so as to make a stab at sharpening some of my knives, and straight razors. Try try again!
A good morning, so far. Even if it isn't morning here. It is actually morning somewhere. Britain, most likely, or as close as most major population centers. Later.
.
In what seems the blink of an eye? One load of laundry pulled and folded, another put to dry, and a third set to go; the fats liquefied, chicken patted fully dry, placed in the fats and then in the oven, adding a split full garlic bunch; coffee made and arranged, and a few other things. By the way, that marinade of salt, pepper, thyme, and time was fantastic. If I have ever been tempted to consume raw chicken, it would have been then. Yeah. I'm not even awake. I haven't had tea, and just started on coffee.
I have a few items to wash, of course... somehow. The damn things sneak up on you, like indians or white man. How would I know? I'm a breed, twice over. That's how I know! Damned sneaky, if I needed to be, probably. It's in my genes, and other places I shouldn't discuss. For now I believe I will just kick back a bit. The chicken has between another hour and hour and an half to finish. Then? Then I'm going to cook a couple of them up. I don't have any greens by which to cut the richness, but I'll survive. I may end up using a lot of this quickly, given the recipe, that they are just (if very plump) drumsticks, and that I will be eating two right out. If I like them, I may set out thighs and do another batch. Yeah... I'd like to experiment with these. If I really like them, or only so so even, I may go with duck next time. Or may anyway... or next next time? Yeah.
I won't start the beans until the chicken is done and cooled. I will be dicing the cured smoked pork to go in with the beans, and the bones both from my snack drummies and from the chicken confit I will be putting into the dish. Hmm... I should have thawed stock. I have some I could add, if I would have to skip today's portion. No problem. I'm sort of eating enough as is so as to not worry. This time I really need to stay right on top of the beans. Actually, while it is coming up to a boil, and then until a simmer is reached, I will probably just sit out in the kitchen. I've got books, reading exercises, and might even soak stones so as to make a stab at sharpening some of my knives, and straight razors. Try try again!
A good morning, so far. Even if it isn't morning here. It is actually morning somewhere. Britain, most likely, or as close as most major population centers. Later.
Back at it.
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.
I can't be sure when I went to bed. After noon. I know the timestamp on the last post, but that seems wrong. I was fuzzy in the noodle when I crashed, from exhaustion, heat, and whatnot. So... maybe, maybe not that time. I ought to see what time the stamp suggests on this post, comparing it to my clock. Though I think that changes. Sometimes it's like I am posting from Russia, or France, and things are just off. The time on my computer and from the nuclear labs radio receivers are off by ~15 minutes as well. Bleh. Anyway...
Fasting blood sugar was 209. *shrug* I'll be back on track after this feast. Bleh. [Oh, blood sugar is definitely, I have learned, not insulin. They don't even necessarily correlate. I'm not fully apprised of the full relationship... just learned that they were no synonymous yesterday. Give me a moment, will ya?]
I slept quite well. I remember no dreams. Not... fully. There is something on the periphery of memory which may or may not pop. Sleep was just right. Even my aches and pains seem to be eased, mostly just gone actually. I don't mind offering God these things, but I also don't mind going without them.
First thing was to check the socks. The milder compression socks were dry and ready to use. I also washed wool socks. Those will take some long time to dry. I also found a few pair of compression socks in the bedroom. Crazy how you can look and look and just not see. I keep that in mind, for what good it does always. No worries, there is only just so much space for drying and that was used. I may try to work it so that, since I am wearing light at night, heavy during the day, socks... that I wash every other day. I think I have enough to easily handle that sort of cycle. I also need to... found it... find a place to store the socks in an organized fashion. Yeah... I have a place that is both easy at hand and merely behind a sliding door to sight. Lights in one section, heavies in the other. I really, for now, need socks fairly regularly... along with the medicine... until I heal more completely. Open toe at night, gotta have air in there. Regular showering. And, actually, olive oil does help the feet much more than the hands. That and talk. Ugh. High maintenance tain't always about beauty. *grins*
After that, I turned the laundry over. A new load in, the washed load over, and that should be ready shortly. The beans look good. I can begin cooking those at any time. The cheese was exceptionally ripe smelling, compared to when I first got it, so should be ripe. As such, it went into the reefer last night. When I cut it, I want it firm. I don't think it would be at room temp. The chicken confit should be well brined and ready to slow cook in fat. Say two to two and an half hours, at about 200~215 F, checking every ten to fifteen after the two hour mark. As a test, when it is cooked, I will pull two of the drumsticks out, crisp them, and... see what this is all about. The rest will be allowed to cool, then put in a container larger enough to hold the fat and submerge the legs down in that. That is the preservation part, really. Oh... I'll save the bones to add to the beans while they cook. *wink* Almost on my toes. Though, if you remember, I thought this would be done or such Wednesday? Thursday? It won't even be going together until later today or tomorrow. Still... I didn't just stumble and stay down.
What else today? Hmm... More laundry. Boxes. And of course, keeping going on the cooking and baking, dishes and small messes, and... maybe doing other little bits as is possible. Ah, right... one of my carts is in. It's a shorter one, but is perfect for more mobile tasks... taking small appliances to a plug without having to sort or arrange, or at least not all that much. I had thought I might want one for pots and pans, but I have those rather sharply sorted and stored! I was amazed what a little, if seriously contemplated and enacted, focus on the problem created. It's a very workable solution, which makes any pan and it's lid, at most, two minor steps away. And, between a third and half of my pots and pans are ready immediately with just a grab and lift. Colanders and strainers are all in one... mostly in one pile, but well stacked. There are a few that don't quite fit that group, but all stack in another pile. Yeah... I have... options.
Anyway, I need to put the roll cart together, then decide which equipment should go on it. Hmm... I should have measured for my large butcher block. Drats, always something else that was missed in considerations. It would be great to have that on a rolling system. Could still store some components on top. Like the dehydrator and the vacuum seal bagger... or some other things. Yeah... By the way, I need to begin putting jerky up. As I finish this fancy feast, I will be going back to simple eats for... a good long time. UGH! So, perhaps then, I can dehydrate. Yeah, it's... life... if you do things yourself... is a lot of work. But it's better to be useful, as possible, than just a... well... slug. I could just get a small apartment, eating out on the cheapest, and just... sort of be alive until I die. There is that. I can't do a whole lot else. But this? This I can do. And, so, when I can, I do.
Loverly. I'll go check on the laundry, perhaps have a cup of bone broth or joe, and consider what to do next. A bit of music, perhaps? Reading? Dunno. Later.
.
I can't be sure when I went to bed. After noon. I know the timestamp on the last post, but that seems wrong. I was fuzzy in the noodle when I crashed, from exhaustion, heat, and whatnot. So... maybe, maybe not that time. I ought to see what time the stamp suggests on this post, comparing it to my clock. Though I think that changes. Sometimes it's like I am posting from Russia, or France, and things are just off. The time on my computer and from the nuclear labs radio receivers are off by ~15 minutes as well. Bleh. Anyway...
Fasting blood sugar was 209. *shrug* I'll be back on track after this feast. Bleh. [Oh, blood sugar is definitely, I have learned, not insulin. They don't even necessarily correlate. I'm not fully apprised of the full relationship... just learned that they were no synonymous yesterday. Give me a moment, will ya?]
I slept quite well. I remember no dreams. Not... fully. There is something on the periphery of memory which may or may not pop. Sleep was just right. Even my aches and pains seem to be eased, mostly just gone actually. I don't mind offering God these things, but I also don't mind going without them.
First thing was to check the socks. The milder compression socks were dry and ready to use. I also washed wool socks. Those will take some long time to dry. I also found a few pair of compression socks in the bedroom. Crazy how you can look and look and just not see. I keep that in mind, for what good it does always. No worries, there is only just so much space for drying and that was used. I may try to work it so that, since I am wearing light at night, heavy during the day, socks... that I wash every other day. I think I have enough to easily handle that sort of cycle. I also need to... found it... find a place to store the socks in an organized fashion. Yeah... I have a place that is both easy at hand and merely behind a sliding door to sight. Lights in one section, heavies in the other. I really, for now, need socks fairly regularly... along with the medicine... until I heal more completely. Open toe at night, gotta have air in there. Regular showering. And, actually, olive oil does help the feet much more than the hands. That and talk. Ugh. High maintenance tain't always about beauty. *grins*
After that, I turned the laundry over. A new load in, the washed load over, and that should be ready shortly. The beans look good. I can begin cooking those at any time. The cheese was exceptionally ripe smelling, compared to when I first got it, so should be ripe. As such, it went into the reefer last night. When I cut it, I want it firm. I don't think it would be at room temp. The chicken confit should be well brined and ready to slow cook in fat. Say two to two and an half hours, at about 200~215 F, checking every ten to fifteen after the two hour mark. As a test, when it is cooked, I will pull two of the drumsticks out, crisp them, and... see what this is all about. The rest will be allowed to cool, then put in a container larger enough to hold the fat and submerge the legs down in that. That is the preservation part, really. Oh... I'll save the bones to add to the beans while they cook. *wink* Almost on my toes. Though, if you remember, I thought this would be done or such Wednesday? Thursday? It won't even be going together until later today or tomorrow. Still... I didn't just stumble and stay down.
What else today? Hmm... More laundry. Boxes. And of course, keeping going on the cooking and baking, dishes and small messes, and... maybe doing other little bits as is possible. Ah, right... one of my carts is in. It's a shorter one, but is perfect for more mobile tasks... taking small appliances to a plug without having to sort or arrange, or at least not all that much. I had thought I might want one for pots and pans, but I have those rather sharply sorted and stored! I was amazed what a little, if seriously contemplated and enacted, focus on the problem created. It's a very workable solution, which makes any pan and it's lid, at most, two minor steps away. And, between a third and half of my pots and pans are ready immediately with just a grab and lift. Colanders and strainers are all in one... mostly in one pile, but well stacked. There are a few that don't quite fit that group, but all stack in another pile. Yeah... I have... options.
Anyway, I need to put the roll cart together, then decide which equipment should go on it. Hmm... I should have measured for my large butcher block. Drats, always something else that was missed in considerations. It would be great to have that on a rolling system. Could still store some components on top. Like the dehydrator and the vacuum seal bagger... or some other things. Yeah... By the way, I need to begin putting jerky up. As I finish this fancy feast, I will be going back to simple eats for... a good long time. UGH! So, perhaps then, I can dehydrate. Yeah, it's... life... if you do things yourself... is a lot of work. But it's better to be useful, as possible, than just a... well... slug. I could just get a small apartment, eating out on the cheapest, and just... sort of be alive until I die. There is that. I can't do a whole lot else. But this? This I can do. And, so, when I can, I do.
Loverly. I'll go check on the laundry, perhaps have a cup of bone broth or joe, and consider what to do next. A bit of music, perhaps? Reading? Dunno. Later.
Friday, September 2, 2016
Okay, didn't think I'd make it this far.
.
.
I also didn't think I'd do this much. Not a whole lot more... the dishes that were standing in the way of me and a shower, the shower, then the first load of laundry. I don't think I'll make it much longer. Which is fine. I've already done more than I though I could, maybe should have. As above, so below? Of course, in pushing, even if accidentally, I am ending up on my feet for longer periods of time, and currently in a depressed state... meaning... Never mind. Just that I should at least nap, and rest, from time to time, even if I can't sleep. Even remembering to do that, in some states, is difficult.
When I wake, more laundry, the beans, the chicken confit slow cook, and probably a meatzza for dinner. Well, not the whole thing, just... the making and partial consumption. When I need rest I will attempt to do so on my back, reading. I really need to tend some things or they will tend me. Plus, I have a ton of reading to do. Though who likes being on their backs? Well, yeah, until you marry them. Pftftft.
A lesser extra kitchen cart is in. With the other, I should have space for all of my small appliances on or under somewhere. I might see if my flour sack cloths will work as curtains, somehow. It's open, wire framed, but can handle some weight, has wheels some of which lock, and is easy to construct. At least after the first one. I may try to hit boxes too. If I get all of that done I would be most pleased, and ready to do things Monday. Finish the kitchen and begin, probably, in my bedroom. Yeah. Something doesn't smell right in there... I think it's the ac... water settles in it sometimes... usually. Well, and the filter needs... that's something I should research regarding. If a diy filter is possible and reasonable, and what would be best to use for it. If that fails, whether I can even find a filter for it.
Well. I am absolutely done in. The ac has been running, as it has been hot and it is midday. I will put new sheets on the bed and see if I can fly, or wind-walk, or... who knows. Good afternoon and night.
.
I also didn't think I'd do this much. Not a whole lot more... the dishes that were standing in the way of me and a shower, the shower, then the first load of laundry. I don't think I'll make it much longer. Which is fine. I've already done more than I though I could, maybe should have. As above, so below? Of course, in pushing, even if accidentally, I am ending up on my feet for longer periods of time, and currently in a depressed state... meaning... Never mind. Just that I should at least nap, and rest, from time to time, even if I can't sleep. Even remembering to do that, in some states, is difficult.
When I wake, more laundry, the beans, the chicken confit slow cook, and probably a meatzza for dinner. Well, not the whole thing, just... the making and partial consumption. When I need rest I will attempt to do so on my back, reading. I really need to tend some things or they will tend me. Plus, I have a ton of reading to do. Though who likes being on their backs? Well, yeah, until you marry them. Pftftft.
A lesser extra kitchen cart is in. With the other, I should have space for all of my small appliances on or under somewhere. I might see if my flour sack cloths will work as curtains, somehow. It's open, wire framed, but can handle some weight, has wheels some of which lock, and is easy to construct. At least after the first one. I may try to hit boxes too. If I get all of that done I would be most pleased, and ready to do things Monday. Finish the kitchen and begin, probably, in my bedroom. Yeah. Something doesn't smell right in there... I think it's the ac... water settles in it sometimes... usually. Well, and the filter needs... that's something I should research regarding. If a diy filter is possible and reasonable, and what would be best to use for it. If that fails, whether I can even find a filter for it.
Well. I am absolutely done in. The ac has been running, as it has been hot and it is midday. I will put new sheets on the bed and see if I can fly, or wind-walk, or... who knows. Good afternoon and night.
Choosing not to be crazy?
.
.
Maybe. I don't believe in insanity for the most part. Much as I do not believe possession by evil can be a random event. While there may be insanity, most things that pass for it aren't it. And much of what is considered normal is... well... nuts. The sort of crazy eluded to in the title is the... scratchy itchy sort of reality which is created from not having order. Perfect order is a fools game. If sought it will almost certainly not be found. If found, it will be dreaded. Chaos is much preferable, though a right blend seems wisest.
Before you go anywhere with that, understand all I am doing is noting where the majority of people and beings of higher orders and even lower orders function. You can dislike it. Denying it merely means your idealism or emotions, perhaps both, has or have overloaded your intellectual capacity. So, just... work with me or I'll open the flood gates. Again.
So, what I am suggesting, is that I am attempting to bring some order into my life. Cleanliness, organization, down to foods... and occasional treats. The right foods, the right medicines, the right amounts... I can't bring perfect order. As suggested, at least to my understanding, I would not wish it. Nor do I enjoy rather sharp chaos. I do believe one can live right, but without a placement for all things, and yet not without a compass and organization upon which to begin a day, or project, or any aspect of life. I am attempting to find this.
In the kitchen, for example, I have been cleaning, sorting, tossing, and... more. I keep finding minor to major issues. Where to put items. How to store foods so as to have easy access. How to make maintenance simpler. I may have too many items. Pots, pans, tools, foods, and the rest. Or I may simply not have things arranged best for the spaces. Most likely a bit of both. One of the things I am adding is more shelving. Though I am also considering how to arrange the shelving. In one area I am considering two shelves, bungee corded together, and retractable or expandable, to even forming a little nook when expanded. Allowing access to both sides. Thing is, I need to measure, and then remove some things in the way.
You might be amazed at what cooking tools I have collected over time. I am still collecting. Some were... less than successful. If some of those have been repurposed. Others are fantastic, but rarely used. If that is sometimes simply due to accessibility problems. I am fixing that. As well, as things find a place, I am tending to... be able to keep up on things better. Cycles don't have to be negative, even for the mostly dead, lame, lazy, or what some consider crazy. I intend to use the positive cyclical in order to multiply upon itself. I am using the cyclical.
You can choose to live this way or that. You really can. You can choose to eat the wrong foods for you. Or you can choose to find out what foods work, learn how to make those, and then eat that. You can live roughly. Or you can begin picking yourself off the floor and figuring out how not to end up on the floor, or at least how to fall less frequently, how to deal with falling more to your advantage, and how to get back up more quickly. I'll never win this game. But I shouldn't, by any real honest right, still be playing it. I may live in a starvation level vexed next to extermination level life, but it's mine. And I want to make it better. You can, if I can. And I am. So get off your ass.
.
Maybe. I don't believe in insanity for the most part. Much as I do not believe possession by evil can be a random event. While there may be insanity, most things that pass for it aren't it. And much of what is considered normal is... well... nuts. The sort of crazy eluded to in the title is the... scratchy itchy sort of reality which is created from not having order. Perfect order is a fools game. If sought it will almost certainly not be found. If found, it will be dreaded. Chaos is much preferable, though a right blend seems wisest.
Before you go anywhere with that, understand all I am doing is noting where the majority of people and beings of higher orders and even lower orders function. You can dislike it. Denying it merely means your idealism or emotions, perhaps both, has or have overloaded your intellectual capacity. So, just... work with me or I'll open the flood gates. Again.
So, what I am suggesting, is that I am attempting to bring some order into my life. Cleanliness, organization, down to foods... and occasional treats. The right foods, the right medicines, the right amounts... I can't bring perfect order. As suggested, at least to my understanding, I would not wish it. Nor do I enjoy rather sharp chaos. I do believe one can live right, but without a placement for all things, and yet not without a compass and organization upon which to begin a day, or project, or any aspect of life. I am attempting to find this.
In the kitchen, for example, I have been cleaning, sorting, tossing, and... more. I keep finding minor to major issues. Where to put items. How to store foods so as to have easy access. How to make maintenance simpler. I may have too many items. Pots, pans, tools, foods, and the rest. Or I may simply not have things arranged best for the spaces. Most likely a bit of both. One of the things I am adding is more shelving. Though I am also considering how to arrange the shelving. In one area I am considering two shelves, bungee corded together, and retractable or expandable, to even forming a little nook when expanded. Allowing access to both sides. Thing is, I need to measure, and then remove some things in the way.
You might be amazed at what cooking tools I have collected over time. I am still collecting. Some were... less than successful. If some of those have been repurposed. Others are fantastic, but rarely used. If that is sometimes simply due to accessibility problems. I am fixing that. As well, as things find a place, I am tending to... be able to keep up on things better. Cycles don't have to be negative, even for the mostly dead, lame, lazy, or what some consider crazy. I intend to use the positive cyclical in order to multiply upon itself. I am using the cyclical.
You can choose to live this way or that. You really can. You can choose to eat the wrong foods for you. Or you can choose to find out what foods work, learn how to make those, and then eat that. You can live roughly. Or you can begin picking yourself off the floor and figuring out how not to end up on the floor, or at least how to fall less frequently, how to deal with falling more to your advantage, and how to get back up more quickly. I'll never win this game. But I shouldn't, by any real honest right, still be playing it. I may live in a starvation level vexed next to extermination level life, but it's mine. And I want to make it better. You can, if I can. And I am. So get off your ass.
Yeah. Alive. Still at it.
.
.
My efforts have slowed. A slug of coffee to start the morning part of my day, or such. More the morning in my day. Whatever the weather pattern was it seems to have passed. High winds... last night? I was sure I smelled wet, thought it was rain. It wasn't, if I don't know what it was. So few things smell like that. A few dishes, in a short bit, then a shower. Then laundry.
I am hoping to push on through into the day. My feet hurt. It's strange to have the tops of my feet hurt, from swelling. They seem to be well into mending. But they were so beat up from swelling for so long that... it'll take a while. My hands... that must be from burns. If it was just dryness, the treatments would have worked by now. I have aloe vera gel on the way. Along with those essential oils that might help. Or it's all tomfoolery. Still, the things I have tried, that usually work, aren't touching it. Though perhaps it is, it just will take a long time. As well, those welders' gloves should help. Yeah, I have oven mitts. They just don't make them for my size, nor long enough.
Beside those things, my ribs hurt. Not sure why. Ribs, back, shoulders, as if I had been out tumbling and wrestling, not successfully. My body feels tighter, even if weight isn't necessarily coming off according to the scale. Yeah, I am changing. Some of the pains in this paragraph may be from losing fat and the body having to adjust, or even adding muscle and using it. It's a good feel, if a bit much. I wish I could regulate it more. Or toughen up quicker to become used to it a bit better? I'll take it though, if it is what I think. If not, I guess I should be used to that by now.
I have been calling my mother. She is doing better but it is still difficult. I'll be keeping her in my prayers and trying to call a bit more often. Just a quick call. Just to ask then leave off. I understand why I am a sort of narcissist, and yet I would like to find a way to end that. Selfless? If it is honest, right, I think it is better. Leave my worries in God's hands. It's where I am aiming now. Or... where I would like to head my bow, when I can turn to the bearing. The water are choppy but He left markers. Now that I am better, in some ways. Can't make good speed, even in turning. Selfless, but without wrongly disregarding the temple.
Blathering? Yeah. But one thing at a time. Good morning and day.
.
My efforts have slowed. A slug of coffee to start the morning part of my day, or such. More the morning in my day. Whatever the weather pattern was it seems to have passed. High winds... last night? I was sure I smelled wet, thought it was rain. It wasn't, if I don't know what it was. So few things smell like that. A few dishes, in a short bit, then a shower. Then laundry.
I am hoping to push on through into the day. My feet hurt. It's strange to have the tops of my feet hurt, from swelling. They seem to be well into mending. But they were so beat up from swelling for so long that... it'll take a while. My hands... that must be from burns. If it was just dryness, the treatments would have worked by now. I have aloe vera gel on the way. Along with those essential oils that might help. Or it's all tomfoolery. Still, the things I have tried, that usually work, aren't touching it. Though perhaps it is, it just will take a long time. As well, those welders' gloves should help. Yeah, I have oven mitts. They just don't make them for my size, nor long enough.
Beside those things, my ribs hurt. Not sure why. Ribs, back, shoulders, as if I had been out tumbling and wrestling, not successfully. My body feels tighter, even if weight isn't necessarily coming off according to the scale. Yeah, I am changing. Some of the pains in this paragraph may be from losing fat and the body having to adjust, or even adding muscle and using it. It's a good feel, if a bit much. I wish I could regulate it more. Or toughen up quicker to become used to it a bit better? I'll take it though, if it is what I think. If not, I guess I should be used to that by now.
I have been calling my mother. She is doing better but it is still difficult. I'll be keeping her in my prayers and trying to call a bit more often. Just a quick call. Just to ask then leave off. I understand why I am a sort of narcissist, and yet I would like to find a way to end that. Selfless? If it is honest, right, I think it is better. Leave my worries in God's hands. It's where I am aiming now. Or... where I would like to head my bow, when I can turn to the bearing. The water are choppy but He left markers. Now that I am better, in some ways. Can't make good speed, even in turning. Selfless, but without wrongly disregarding the temple.
Blathering? Yeah. But one thing at a time. Good morning and day.
Can't lose on some things.
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.
Ham and beans is such a great meal. Even just by itself. After messing with plain yogurt for a number of things, I sort of had the taste and texture down. Now, it's a bit high in carbs, so I can't have it often. What is funny is that so many people hate plain yogurt for being plain, or even bitter. I have been off sugar for so long that it tastes quite sweet to me. As it should, actually, given the sugar carbs in it. Anyway. What I have found to be an excellent blend, is to have a bowl of ham and beans and a small bowl of yogurt. A bite of one, then the other. I'm telling you, that is just an excellent mix.
I did put the beans to soak. I can't lose with them. If I get them just right, then I am that far ahead. If they end up finished, I'll just cook some ham, add them, stow them in the containers, and be good. Plus I still have another shot at getting slightly undercooked beans for my recipe. I am nearly out of beans and ham. Though it might be good to cook something else. I could go light on vegetables and make a beef stew to freeze? I will be making chicken broth soon. I like saving the meat, which would make a good soup as well. I am amazed at how easy it is to cook one's own soups, and freeze them.
I'm not good for much else. My feet go from good to bad in a short spell. If I forget the water pill, or don't wear compression socks this day, or... I am in a constant battle with health, one I shouldn't have won to now. If I can't go get a job, at least I can cook. I'd like to tinker with other things, like the piano, developing a mechanics shop, getting out and about. And, maybe, some of it, through time. Especially if I can hit spells like I recently jammed through. More, and more often, and I will find myself doing crazy cool things. For now I simply need to take care of health, and food, then home and body. If I can square that a bit, I'll move on a bit further.
I've been in a soft debate, on another blog. I... tend to go out with guns blazing. I was a bit more relaxed this time. And the other side shifted directions and, if at first aggressive(?), became more conversational. So? So I am going to follow up by trying to ascertain what in God's name he is on about. No, not that I will agree, or not. Merely, with geniality comes an opportunity. Good opportunities are not singular in direction. So... I have a little bit to research. I told you I am trying to turn a corner. It won't be easy. It wont be perfectly set tomorrow, or probably for the rest of my life. I'll still mess up. But, for now, for this once, I would like to do more than do as pandas... which eats, shoots, and leaves. *wink*
Later.
.
Ham and beans is such a great meal. Even just by itself. After messing with plain yogurt for a number of things, I sort of had the taste and texture down. Now, it's a bit high in carbs, so I can't have it often. What is funny is that so many people hate plain yogurt for being plain, or even bitter. I have been off sugar for so long that it tastes quite sweet to me. As it should, actually, given the sugar carbs in it. Anyway. What I have found to be an excellent blend, is to have a bowl of ham and beans and a small bowl of yogurt. A bite of one, then the other. I'm telling you, that is just an excellent mix.
I did put the beans to soak. I can't lose with them. If I get them just right, then I am that far ahead. If they end up finished, I'll just cook some ham, add them, stow them in the containers, and be good. Plus I still have another shot at getting slightly undercooked beans for my recipe. I am nearly out of beans and ham. Though it might be good to cook something else. I could go light on vegetables and make a beef stew to freeze? I will be making chicken broth soon. I like saving the meat, which would make a good soup as well. I am amazed at how easy it is to cook one's own soups, and freeze them.
I'm not good for much else. My feet go from good to bad in a short spell. If I forget the water pill, or don't wear compression socks this day, or... I am in a constant battle with health, one I shouldn't have won to now. If I can't go get a job, at least I can cook. I'd like to tinker with other things, like the piano, developing a mechanics shop, getting out and about. And, maybe, some of it, through time. Especially if I can hit spells like I recently jammed through. More, and more often, and I will find myself doing crazy cool things. For now I simply need to take care of health, and food, then home and body. If I can square that a bit, I'll move on a bit further.
I've been in a soft debate, on another blog. I... tend to go out with guns blazing. I was a bit more relaxed this time. And the other side shifted directions and, if at first aggressive(?), became more conversational. So? So I am going to follow up by trying to ascertain what in God's name he is on about. No, not that I will agree, or not. Merely, with geniality comes an opportunity. Good opportunities are not singular in direction. So... I have a little bit to research. I told you I am trying to turn a corner. It won't be easy. It wont be perfectly set tomorrow, or probably for the rest of my life. I'll still mess up. But, for now, for this once, I would like to do more than do as pandas... which eats, shoots, and leaves. *wink*
Later.
The first steps were good.
.
.
First I drained the chicken, patted it dry, then seasoned it. A little heavy on the salt, if not as heavy as I have seen. Yeah, I understand. Then all into a bag, sealed airtight, and into the fridge for an overnight run. Then I checked the kefir creme fraiche. Perfect. I am quite pleased as is. And yet, I know, as it ages it does improve... up to some point I haven't seen anyway. Then to dishes. Scrub-a-dub-dub. Clean, wonderf... WHOUGHT! Scrub that over again. Not too much fuss. And... done! I pulled ham and bean soup out and will have that on my break. I finished the standard special cheeses earlier. I think I did put the baking cheese out... to help make sure it ripens. I'll put it back in the fridge when I begin a slow cook of the chicken in fats. Oh, and I did pull the fats out. I should have enough tallow. If not, the other will fill nicely.
After late late dinner, I'll get a shower in. Then begin with laundry. Work and more. A nap in there if need be. All good. Blood sugar has been staying right around 220's, give or take half and quarter of a score combined... give or take even on that. If you drift with my get? Or give? Now I am confused.
Hmm... anything else tonight? I don't think so. The beans? I don't soak those until tomorrow night. Yeah. Though I could do a pot tonight, attempt to short cook them by a bit tomorrow, and if that doesn't work I have one more shot. If it does, I can drain and stow them? Yeah. Actually I think that is exactly what I will do. I'll be having to check them every ten, once they get to a boil and I turn them down to a simmer. Just almost done. Then ice them. Shock the cooking clock to zero. Yeah. Even though they aren't my favorite, I think I may actually go with the canntelini beans. They are a white bean, so rich in potassium as well. But they are a stout bean, and will handle cooking then baking so much better. As for not being my favorite... so much else is going in that it won't matter as much. Yeah. I'll get those soaking now, or I'll forget. Later.
.
First I drained the chicken, patted it dry, then seasoned it. A little heavy on the salt, if not as heavy as I have seen. Yeah, I understand. Then all into a bag, sealed airtight, and into the fridge for an overnight run. Then I checked the kefir creme fraiche. Perfect. I am quite pleased as is. And yet, I know, as it ages it does improve... up to some point I haven't seen anyway. Then to dishes. Scrub-a-dub-dub. Clean, wonderf... WHOUGHT! Scrub that over again. Not too much fuss. And... done! I pulled ham and bean soup out and will have that on my break. I finished the standard special cheeses earlier. I think I did put the baking cheese out... to help make sure it ripens. I'll put it back in the fridge when I begin a slow cook of the chicken in fats. Oh, and I did pull the fats out. I should have enough tallow. If not, the other will fill nicely.
After late late dinner, I'll get a shower in. Then begin with laundry. Work and more. A nap in there if need be. All good. Blood sugar has been staying right around 220's, give or take half and quarter of a score combined... give or take even on that. If you drift with my get? Or give? Now I am confused.
Hmm... anything else tonight? I don't think so. The beans? I don't soak those until tomorrow night. Yeah. Though I could do a pot tonight, attempt to short cook them by a bit tomorrow, and if that doesn't work I have one more shot. If it does, I can drain and stow them? Yeah. Actually I think that is exactly what I will do. I'll be having to check them every ten, once they get to a boil and I turn them down to a simmer. Just almost done. Then ice them. Shock the cooking clock to zero. Yeah. Even though they aren't my favorite, I think I may actually go with the canntelini beans. They are a white bean, so rich in potassium as well. But they are a stout bean, and will handle cooking then baking so much better. As for not being my favorite... so much else is going in that it won't matter as much. Yeah. I'll get those soaking now, or I'll forget. Later.
A plan for the chicken confit.
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.
After reviewing several sources of information, from duck based to traditional, as well as new ways of potentially doing things, I chose a path.
Currently I am brining the chicken. A cool to lukewarm soak in slightly salted water seems to pull bad stuff out of chicken. If the chicken, on their or my end, ended up being thawed too long, it tends to help that as well. I thawed it correctly by time, but that isn't always enough. So a soak. Then I will drain and paper towel dry. Then I add salt, time, garlic, and black pepper.
Here there are a number of ways to go. Tradition says to then wrap it tightly, then let it cure a bit overnight. If this was truly a system by which to preserve foul before refrigeration, it shouldn't need to go into the refrigerator. However, to be just ever so slightly risk adverse, putting it in the fridge is probably the best bet. I'm not always risk adverse. With foul I generally am. I don't trust it. Every superman has a kryptonite. Some have several. I just have this feeling that bird meat is mine, or one of mine.
The other choices here are to brown it, then put it up; or simply wrap it tightly in foil and cook it slowly for a couple of hours. The former just doesn't seem right by too many new and old methods. Browning, I have always thought, was for at least after curing, but maybe (usually I would guess) after cooking in fat then cooling and finally chilling. When you pull the thigh or drumstick out, with some of the fat stuck to it, then you fry it to crisp the skin. The latter method is more for if you don't have a lot of fats. I have two smaller drums from beef stock, another full bought drum of tallow, and plenty of coconut oil to fill out any needs that might remain. Yeah, ol' Doom has some things going on in the kitchen and pantry.
I should check the kefir creme fraiche as well. Ugh but it is murder to have things that take not minutes, or hours, but days to put together. A puzzle, and any one thing could blow the whole process. I am sure most things are survivable. It's, just... getting the hopes up and falling. It would be a sad thing. I did, finally, pull the meats I wish to use in the bean, meat, and cheese pudding. Sausage, cured smoked bacon, and a pork chop. The other meat, of course, is the chicken confit which is in the making. The great thing is I will have chicken for some time. Just pulling out a piece, frying it then plating it with greens as a first course, and... nice. If it works, or even not, I hope next to begin with duck confit. Perhaps ordering enough duck fat to cook and maintain several sets of hindquarters.
I just wish someone enjoyed eating, who... well... I'd love to cook for a few others, in a small setting... just once in a while. My problem isn't the food, or cooking, it's more keep up the place so that people would eat here. Have them bring bits, have some bits myself, make and split it out. Actually, my next experiment will be for others, most likely. At least if I keep the kitchen up. A dessert. Yeah, I won't be able to have any, other than cook sampling. But I will probably make something in this next month, or the one after. But for them, at their place. Not for here.
Oh, right. On to dishes, then a shower, then a break. Finally on to laundry. Actually, I will gather laundry right now and get it back. I just hate trying to do dishes, and especially a shower, over washing. It just doesn't work. Later.
.
After reviewing several sources of information, from duck based to traditional, as well as new ways of potentially doing things, I chose a path.
Currently I am brining the chicken. A cool to lukewarm soak in slightly salted water seems to pull bad stuff out of chicken. If the chicken, on their or my end, ended up being thawed too long, it tends to help that as well. I thawed it correctly by time, but that isn't always enough. So a soak. Then I will drain and paper towel dry. Then I add salt, time, garlic, and black pepper.
Here there are a number of ways to go. Tradition says to then wrap it tightly, then let it cure a bit overnight. If this was truly a system by which to preserve foul before refrigeration, it shouldn't need to go into the refrigerator. However, to be just ever so slightly risk adverse, putting it in the fridge is probably the best bet. I'm not always risk adverse. With foul I generally am. I don't trust it. Every superman has a kryptonite. Some have several. I just have this feeling that bird meat is mine, or one of mine.
The other choices here are to brown it, then put it up; or simply wrap it tightly in foil and cook it slowly for a couple of hours. The former just doesn't seem right by too many new and old methods. Browning, I have always thought, was for at least after curing, but maybe (usually I would guess) after cooking in fat then cooling and finally chilling. When you pull the thigh or drumstick out, with some of the fat stuck to it, then you fry it to crisp the skin. The latter method is more for if you don't have a lot of fats. I have two smaller drums from beef stock, another full bought drum of tallow, and plenty of coconut oil to fill out any needs that might remain. Yeah, ol' Doom has some things going on in the kitchen and pantry.
I should check the kefir creme fraiche as well. Ugh but it is murder to have things that take not minutes, or hours, but days to put together. A puzzle, and any one thing could blow the whole process. I am sure most things are survivable. It's, just... getting the hopes up and falling. It would be a sad thing. I did, finally, pull the meats I wish to use in the bean, meat, and cheese pudding. Sausage, cured smoked bacon, and a pork chop. The other meat, of course, is the chicken confit which is in the making. The great thing is I will have chicken for some time. Just pulling out a piece, frying it then plating it with greens as a first course, and... nice. If it works, or even not, I hope next to begin with duck confit. Perhaps ordering enough duck fat to cook and maintain several sets of hindquarters.
I just wish someone enjoyed eating, who... well... I'd love to cook for a few others, in a small setting... just once in a while. My problem isn't the food, or cooking, it's more keep up the place so that people would eat here. Have them bring bits, have some bits myself, make and split it out. Actually, my next experiment will be for others, most likely. At least if I keep the kitchen up. A dessert. Yeah, I won't be able to have any, other than cook sampling. But I will probably make something in this next month, or the one after. But for them, at their place. Not for here.
Oh, right. On to dishes, then a shower, then a break. Finally on to laundry. Actually, I will gather laundry right now and get it back. I just hate trying to do dishes, and especially a shower, over washing. It just doesn't work. Later.
Thursday, September 1, 2016
Can't really wake.
.
.
Beyond sleep. Hungry. Something is in the works. I think I will set the chicken up for minor curing, though I keep meaning to see if I wish to brown or cure it first. Ugh. Mind is not what it should be. Soup is thawing, the heart has been cooked, some of it consumed. I am thinking the last of the cheese and salami, other than the epoisses which will be going into the cassoulete... or such. I may actually set that out tonight, or the day before I cook... or maybe not. Hmm, might set it out tonight and tomorrow, actually, then put it in the fridge for overnight, so it isn't so runny when I quarter it? Yeah, probably.
If I don't have enough tallow I do have coconut oil, cold pressed, I could add. Though I might have more official/purchased tallow in the reefer. I can't remember. The other tallow, as I may have mentioned, is from making beef stock. I suspect, over time, the fat I use for various confits will vary and change. I have enough chicken that I will be keeping some of it in the fat, to preserve it. Some people don't, which doesn't make perfect sense, as least to me. If you are going to bother making it with such a convoluted method, meant for preservation (especially before refrigeration)... why make it for just a meal? Seems strange to me. More, I wouldn't mind having various cuts in confit. Chicken, duck, perhaps even leaner cuts of beef. I saw a French chef do it with pork belly. Seriously? I mean... OMG... but... cool! Tres bonne and other sich, but. Damn! Flawless... Victory!!!
I am hoping to get to laundry tonight. Dishes, the few there are, and a shower as well, other than food prep. I think I can, I think I...
.
Beyond sleep. Hungry. Something is in the works. I think I will set the chicken up for minor curing, though I keep meaning to see if I wish to brown or cure it first. Ugh. Mind is not what it should be. Soup is thawing, the heart has been cooked, some of it consumed. I am thinking the last of the cheese and salami, other than the epoisses which will be going into the cassoulete... or such. I may actually set that out tonight, or the day before I cook... or maybe not. Hmm, might set it out tonight and tomorrow, actually, then put it in the fridge for overnight, so it isn't so runny when I quarter it? Yeah, probably.
If I don't have enough tallow I do have coconut oil, cold pressed, I could add. Though I might have more official/purchased tallow in the reefer. I can't remember. The other tallow, as I may have mentioned, is from making beef stock. I suspect, over time, the fat I use for various confits will vary and change. I have enough chicken that I will be keeping some of it in the fat, to preserve it. Some people don't, which doesn't make perfect sense, as least to me. If you are going to bother making it with such a convoluted method, meant for preservation (especially before refrigeration)... why make it for just a meal? Seems strange to me. More, I wouldn't mind having various cuts in confit. Chicken, duck, perhaps even leaner cuts of beef. I saw a French chef do it with pork belly. Seriously? I mean... OMG... but... cool! Tres bonne and other sich, but. Damn! Flawless... Victory!!!
I am hoping to get to laundry tonight. Dishes, the few there are, and a shower as well, other than food prep. I think I can, I think I...
Is it the weather?
.
.
Weather, yes. A bit. That and having pushed on topping shoving. Lost my balance and tipped over a bit. All good. I will simply attempt to regain my footing and get back at it. Still, that was a heck of a run. I believe I will be back at it before long.
The speed reading book has turned into a quagmire. Tons of exercises. Too many to practically do daily, as far as I see things. I'll need to catalog, test which if any seem to help, dump the junk, and go from there. But, for now, I have sidled over to memory improvement. The first unit was a complete wash. Something about "yes you can", and "you aren't an idiot", and crap like that. If I needed a cheerleader I would have hired one. I don't need to be told what I can't do, I don't need inspiration, just give me the goods and get out of my way. After speed skipping through, looking for a real start, I think I found it. I'll begin later. Don't... just don't waste my time, authors. Don't. I guess they aim at the snowflakes? If they are that damaged, let me give you a clue, you can't help them.
I did pull the chicken, to thaw. It wasn't thighs, as I had thought, but drumsticks. All good. I also pulled liver for today... which ended up being heart? Well... fine. I didn't set the kefir creme fraiche up until just now though. Which is fine. The chicken has to be partially cured, which takes a day. I added a bit more kefir to this batch, which means it will ferment a bit more quickly, in theory. Depends on temps, and those seem to be dropping? Some weather formation is coming through.
Nothing quite feels right. I am tired, deep in. Not like after a sprint, more like after a marathon. Cool. I would guess, over those days of work, my efforts were pretty much like that of a marathon. Especially given both health and conditioning. So far I am, mostly, keeping up. I am sleeping a great deal as well. I would say that my sleep time, usually six to ten hours, has become more like my awake time. Which means a lot of sleep per day. At least my days haven't become more like two days in one. It's an ugly time. It should improve before too long. If my blood sugar and weight are going back up, I can't really mind. Right now, I truly need more food. Though maybe this is from the cheese and extra food throwing me off. Yeah... I don't think I'll order large treats like that again, in any case. Though... that may be the only way to try some of the various cheeses. I'll think about it.
Dishes, laundry, a shower or bath, reading would all be good. I'd love to hit the boxes. I don't know what I can or will do. Later.
.
Weather, yes. A bit. That and having pushed on topping shoving. Lost my balance and tipped over a bit. All good. I will simply attempt to regain my footing and get back at it. Still, that was a heck of a run. I believe I will be back at it before long.
The speed reading book has turned into a quagmire. Tons of exercises. Too many to practically do daily, as far as I see things. I'll need to catalog, test which if any seem to help, dump the junk, and go from there. But, for now, I have sidled over to memory improvement. The first unit was a complete wash. Something about "yes you can", and "you aren't an idiot", and crap like that. If I needed a cheerleader I would have hired one. I don't need to be told what I can't do, I don't need inspiration, just give me the goods and get out of my way. After speed skipping through, looking for a real start, I think I found it. I'll begin later. Don't... just don't waste my time, authors. Don't. I guess they aim at the snowflakes? If they are that damaged, let me give you a clue, you can't help them.
I did pull the chicken, to thaw. It wasn't thighs, as I had thought, but drumsticks. All good. I also pulled liver for today... which ended up being heart? Well... fine. I didn't set the kefir creme fraiche up until just now though. Which is fine. The chicken has to be partially cured, which takes a day. I added a bit more kefir to this batch, which means it will ferment a bit more quickly, in theory. Depends on temps, and those seem to be dropping? Some weather formation is coming through.
Dishes, laundry, a shower or bath, reading would all be good. I'd love to hit the boxes. I don't know what I can or will do. Later.
Chicken confit?
.
.
I didn't stutter. Probably. Yes, however, chicken confit. While I have duck, I neither have the time to thaw or create or buy duck fat, then go on with that process. I do have the time to thaw chicken hindquarters or thighs, whichever it is I have on hand. As for fat, I have tallow from the beef stock process. Which reminds me, if I truly want to do an all chicken confit, the next time I make stock it will be chicken, so... I can use that fat. Or some time. The thing with the fat used to make confit is that it should be saved and reused. It becomes more flavorful by use. How long can you use it? Probably until it... no longer works for you? Put it in a jar, seal it, store it in the fridge... or even keep the meat in it.
.
I didn't stutter. Probably. Yes, however, chicken confit. While I have duck, I neither have the time to thaw or create or buy duck fat, then go on with that process. I do have the time to thaw chicken hindquarters or thighs, whichever it is I have on hand. As for fat, I have tallow from the beef stock process. Which reminds me, if I truly want to do an all chicken confit, the next time I make stock it will be chicken, so... I can use that fat. Or some time. The thing with the fat used to make confit is that it should be saved and reused. It becomes more flavorful by use. How long can you use it? Probably until it... no longer works for you? Put it in a jar, seal it, store it in the fridge... or even keep the meat in it.
Wednesday, August 31, 2016
Dinner is in the process of being served.
.
.
Oh, I suppose I could be quicker about it. To be honest, I enjoy having a smaller course of this, a bit of that, and so on. Eating through an evening, as compressed snacking through a day. Even with my days and nights tumbling or crumbling, I attempt to attach the time I eat to real early evening... regardless of when I actually woke. Pinning my world to real time, as much as possible, it is hoped will help steel me to real time. Even if just of mind.
The first course was salami and cheese. Only two ounces, or so, of two cheeses each and about three ounces of salami. No, not much. And I could have done with less. I simply am going a bit faster on cheese, attempting to use it before it is bad. For the next meal I will use the beans, along with sardines. I have no idea how well that will work out. I know I love sardines, and even if the beans are not favored, they are still pretty darned good. What else in it? Perhaps an half cup of cream? Maybe chiffonade of fresh basil, some other spices or herbs, and I have heard lemon works well to cut the heaviness of sardines. A bit of spinach would do well steamed as a finish, I simply have none on hand. Frozen, but I am not interested in messing with that tonight. I have looked at some options for how to used sardines. This might work, or not.
That will, most likely, be my last meal. Though, if need be and still hungry, I may have a quarter of a cup of sunflower seeds (shelled) or half a cup unshelled pistachios. Unless the sardine bean soup is a total flop. Which... well... it is an oily fish, in oil, which can be... tight. Crackers really do absorb and... resolve... the oil a bit? Somesuch. Though, a bit of tinkering, how much of the oil to add, or not, and spices plus lemon, might sooth the hardness. But the texture... crackers offer a solid to the fish's... squish. Dunno, but here it goes.
No, not at all fancy. Not even off nutritionally, at least from my goals. The only thing that could go wrong is volume, but that usually tends itself. Nothing I eat is actually all that difficult, and none of it is even all that expensive. Heck, I'm even making many of the pricier things myself... which reminds me, I need to set up other pint of creme fraiche, of the kefir variety as that truly is my favorite. I'll need that in my bean casserole, and have found that... at least up to the point I have had them in the fridge, that gets better with time. A day or really two fermenting at room temp, and another day or two in the reefer, and you begin to have a very tasty add to... many things.
The kefir cost me $12~$14 for the starter culture, which thrives in spite of me, plus a gallon of milk (none of which is lost), plus canning jars of whatever size I prefer (for me, half gallon) but they are one-time costs, and the umph to get off my butt and do five or ten (more like twenty, really at my scale) minutes of straining, cleaning, rotating, and such. The creme fraiche only takes two teaspoons of that and nearly a pint of whole cream and what else was already purchased (in my case). While I prefer half gallon canning jars for kefir, I have found use for quart (for kefir whey), and pints for just storing extra kefir grains... just in case. Oh, and now that I am back at it, I may actually begin attempting kefir sour cream and using kefir whey to soak various things, from veggies to grains, perhaps legumes? Dunno, have more to learn and try.
Dried beans are dirt cheap. My meat I purchase by the animal at serious savings... It's not luck. It's not by chance. I can't even say I was raised this way... if there was some of it in there. The frugality was there, the scale not so much. Single mothers, as a general rule, can't swing even an half beef a year. However... you know what? Why not get rid of the EBT (or whatever) card, and simply set up portions of beef, pork, chicken... at least for some of it. Sure, could still be abused, would be... but there would be a greater chance that meat would be eaten. At least, until we can shut down the welfare state for the most part. Always going to be someone who didn't plan because planning wasn't possible on that scale. But it shouldn't be this large of a part of the population.
Oh, right. I'm still writing! I'll... go begin prep for the second and at least main course. I'll post on here, after I finish and finish, as an addendum. Bon appetit? I hope. Later.
-----
Okay. Well. How well did you think that last dish would be? You were probably pretty close. *urp* Still, I was able to fashionably consume the lion's share without mishap. There might be some items which might make that better. I just don't think I will be experimenting to find them. I would like to figure how else to eat them, in a low-carb manner. Yeah, I can simply eat them plain, but they are a bit... heavy. I don't like the other sauces, such as mustard or ketchup, and soy (estrogen) oil is way out. I have enough problems. I really don't think heating it would be a good idea. Though, actually, I don't think it would be good chilled, either. The next time I grocery shop I will purchase salad, green salad, makings. The fish, lemon or lime juice, some of the oil, vinegar perhaps... and almost any pickled items, though more the baby gherkins or capers... maybe even jalapenos. I still haven't tried those I canned. Yeah, but... not so much on bean soup... even at room temp. Not so much. Still, I got something in and down and it will stay there. I will probably have some nuts to fill for the rest of the not-so-much meal. Later.
.
Oh, I suppose I could be quicker about it. To be honest, I enjoy having a smaller course of this, a bit of that, and so on. Eating through an evening, as compressed snacking through a day. Even with my days and nights tumbling or crumbling, I attempt to attach the time I eat to real early evening... regardless of when I actually woke. Pinning my world to real time, as much as possible, it is hoped will help steel me to real time. Even if just of mind.
The first course was salami and cheese. Only two ounces, or so, of two cheeses each and about three ounces of salami. No, not much. And I could have done with less. I simply am going a bit faster on cheese, attempting to use it before it is bad. For the next meal I will use the beans, along with sardines. I have no idea how well that will work out. I know I love sardines, and even if the beans are not favored, they are still pretty darned good. What else in it? Perhaps an half cup of cream? Maybe chiffonade of fresh basil, some other spices or herbs, and I have heard lemon works well to cut the heaviness of sardines. A bit of spinach would do well steamed as a finish, I simply have none on hand. Frozen, but I am not interested in messing with that tonight. I have looked at some options for how to used sardines. This might work, or not.
That will, most likely, be my last meal. Though, if need be and still hungry, I may have a quarter of a cup of sunflower seeds (shelled) or half a cup unshelled pistachios. Unless the sardine bean soup is a total flop. Which... well... it is an oily fish, in oil, which can be... tight. Crackers really do absorb and... resolve... the oil a bit? Somesuch. Though, a bit of tinkering, how much of the oil to add, or not, and spices plus lemon, might sooth the hardness. But the texture... crackers offer a solid to the fish's... squish. Dunno, but here it goes.
No, not at all fancy. Not even off nutritionally, at least from my goals. The only thing that could go wrong is volume, but that usually tends itself. Nothing I eat is actually all that difficult, and none of it is even all that expensive. Heck, I'm even making many of the pricier things myself... which reminds me, I need to set up other pint of creme fraiche, of the kefir variety as that truly is my favorite. I'll need that in my bean casserole, and have found that... at least up to the point I have had them in the fridge, that gets better with time. A day or really two fermenting at room temp, and another day or two in the reefer, and you begin to have a very tasty add to... many things.
The kefir cost me $12~$14 for the starter culture, which thrives in spite of me, plus a gallon of milk (none of which is lost), plus canning jars of whatever size I prefer (for me, half gallon) but they are one-time costs, and the umph to get off my butt and do five or ten (more like twenty, really at my scale) minutes of straining, cleaning, rotating, and such. The creme fraiche only takes two teaspoons of that and nearly a pint of whole cream and what else was already purchased (in my case). While I prefer half gallon canning jars for kefir, I have found use for quart (for kefir whey), and pints for just storing extra kefir grains... just in case. Oh, and now that I am back at it, I may actually begin attempting kefir sour cream and using kefir whey to soak various things, from veggies to grains, perhaps legumes? Dunno, have more to learn and try.
Dried beans are dirt cheap. My meat I purchase by the animal at serious savings... It's not luck. It's not by chance. I can't even say I was raised this way... if there was some of it in there. The frugality was there, the scale not so much. Single mothers, as a general rule, can't swing even an half beef a year. However... you know what? Why not get rid of the EBT (or whatever) card, and simply set up portions of beef, pork, chicken... at least for some of it. Sure, could still be abused, would be... but there would be a greater chance that meat would be eaten. At least, until we can shut down the welfare state for the most part. Always going to be someone who didn't plan because planning wasn't possible on that scale. But it shouldn't be this large of a part of the population.
Oh, right. I'm still writing! I'll... go begin prep for the second and at least main course. I'll post on here, after I finish and finish, as an addendum. Bon appetit? I hope. Later.
-----
Okay. Well. How well did you think that last dish would be? You were probably pretty close. *urp* Still, I was able to fashionably consume the lion's share without mishap. There might be some items which might make that better. I just don't think I will be experimenting to find them. I would like to figure how else to eat them, in a low-carb manner. Yeah, I can simply eat them plain, but they are a bit... heavy. I don't like the other sauces, such as mustard or ketchup, and soy (estrogen) oil is way out. I have enough problems. I really don't think heating it would be a good idea. Though, actually, I don't think it would be good chilled, either. The next time I grocery shop I will purchase salad, green salad, makings. The fish, lemon or lime juice, some of the oil, vinegar perhaps... and almost any pickled items, though more the baby gherkins or capers... maybe even jalapenos. I still haven't tried those I canned. Yeah, but... not so much on bean soup... even at room temp. Not so much. Still, I got something in and down and it will stay there. I will probably have some nuts to fill for the rest of the not-so-much meal. Later.
Drats.
.
.
The beans. I was checking, cooking, checking... never got close to being done. Right until they were mushy. Bleh. Though I must say, they aren't my favorite of beans. They remind me a great deal of kidney beans. Edible, easily, and more. Stout, if their breaking point... at least for me... seemed very quick, going from too hard to consider to mash in an half our or hour at most. I may soak white beans, and give those, say, an half hour of simmering after being brought up to a quick boil, then use those. Yeah. So... one more day, at least. Which is fine. These beans? Bowl them up, eat them with other dinner items. While I will be finishing the cheeses, I will then go back to fasting.
I cannot nibble a bit, as I have noted. If I eat, I eat all day, off and on, if food is available. If I fast, I am fine. And I have some limits. I couldn't eat cheese in my eating window, that often. I do need some variety. It just wouldn't work. And I can only imagine how bound just eating cheese would... no. Trust me, just don't go that way. Fool me once, innit. I would sure like to find a way to eat sardines without crackers. Old dog, new tricks, might not work. While I can't eat sardines without crackers, I can simply not eat sardines. So... there is that. Still, bad dog?
The newest pressure cooker to my line, an electric on-counter system, is working out. Actually, if I wanted, I could skip soaking and just use the cooker as I have mentioned. Pre-pressure cooking the beans for two minutes, releasing, then setting them back up for an eight minute actual full pressure cook and... it is close to an overnight soak first. Just a bit more fuss. There are other tricks for it, here is a video with some other ways to speed up an already pretty trick system.
Now, while I knew about cooking within, I don't actually know of any of the foods she discussed, nor do I have any recipes that might work in that as such. I am curious though. And I like to tinker. As well, her idea regarding putting the lid upside down and otherwise slightly open for air flow? That is something I was doing with my other pots and pans, those with lids, but hadn't seen fit to do with this. Good call. And, I brought it up as advice for regular pots and pans too. Make sure they are dry and put their lids on at a cant, so as to breath. It just... works better. (Urhm, is she like... seven foot tall, or is that just the kitten snuggling with the camera affect? Just... wondering.)
.
The beans. I was checking, cooking, checking... never got close to being done. Right until they were mushy. Bleh. Though I must say, they aren't my favorite of beans. They remind me a great deal of kidney beans. Edible, easily, and more. Stout, if their breaking point... at least for me... seemed very quick, going from too hard to consider to mash in an half our or hour at most. I may soak white beans, and give those, say, an half hour of simmering after being brought up to a quick boil, then use those. Yeah. So... one more day, at least. Which is fine. These beans? Bowl them up, eat them with other dinner items. While I will be finishing the cheeses, I will then go back to fasting.
I cannot nibble a bit, as I have noted. If I eat, I eat all day, off and on, if food is available. If I fast, I am fine. And I have some limits. I couldn't eat cheese in my eating window, that often. I do need some variety. It just wouldn't work. And I can only imagine how bound just eating cheese would... no. Trust me, just don't go that way. Fool me once, innit. I would sure like to find a way to eat sardines without crackers. Old dog, new tricks, might not work. While I can't eat sardines without crackers, I can simply not eat sardines. So... there is that. Still, bad dog?
Now, while I knew about cooking within, I don't actually know of any of the foods she discussed, nor do I have any recipes that might work in that as such. I am curious though. And I like to tinker. As well, her idea regarding putting the lid upside down and otherwise slightly open for air flow? That is something I was doing with my other pots and pans, those with lids, but hadn't seen fit to do with this. Good call. And, I brought it up as advice for regular pots and pans too. Make sure they are dry and put their lids on at a cant, so as to breath. It just... works better. (Urhm, is she like... seven foot tall, or is that just the kitten snuggling with the camera affect? Just... wondering.)
Making some new changes.
.
.
I have gone through periods when I would not comment on other posts. I knew something was wrong, simply could not sort it out at the time. I still have some difficulty, though I seem to see the problem if not be completely at ease to manage it. Practice makes perfect.
My problem is, when I see a post which might cause a certain reaction, a strong emotional response, especially in my more feeble moments, it is easy to post unwisely. There is the deep end, then there is the really deep end. Call it click bait, or response bait, it is what it is. Not all such bait, not at all times, though often enough I snap. I am sure there is a hook in there, even if I don't sense it. Always? I think, one way or another, yes.
I didn't realize this all, or altogether, or my parts in it until about now. Yet, some time back, I started pulling comments. I'd write a paragraph or three then... dump it. Oh, I still post. I still rant. I still comment, sometimes just as wrongly as ever. Practice, remember. This isn't something that will be fixed overnight. As with other improvements I am attempting to make in my life, this is just one of them.
They seem to do it on the right and left. It is a form of virtue-signalling... a knee-jerk reaction. I think they ween people in, or out. I think they have a laugh at the reactions. And, to some extent, fairly. As with the hope of beginning studies, I hope also to improve my approach to emotional and psychological events. Seeing traps for what they are, and refusing to play along. And, yet, not completely cutting out interactions on key events.
What is happening with or to some Brazilian dictator? What some obviously disturbed woman, who paints herself with menstrual blood and does a naked photo shoot to... what was it... defy period shaming? These things are really of no concern. I don't even see a way to help, and I can't hurt. Best to just walk on by, not even reading, or giving a nod, to such. Don't take this as a hate thing. It's just as tempting to write about such as it is to comment. All I am saying is that I am going another way. Or... that is the goal. And, I am not picking on you... Joe Writer. I could have used stories from anyone. Definitely from myself. And some of you, you know who you are, live in... a very strange world that borders that. I'll still visit because that is a break from the world. I simply won't have it be a part of the norm of my world. Rare treats, sure. I might even comment, if more in kind than not.
As to commenting, I am hoping to switch to a much more thoughtful approach. The woman above? Someone suggested psychology. The thing is, psychology, and even churches quite often these days, won't go there. All they try to do is make sure no one gets arrested or hurt, at least publicly. There might be help in those areas, but even if at no cost it would not be free. And people, today, who wish to do crazy are quite allowed, and would never choose to pay a price to get away from that. But... what help would such a comment be? So I dumped it. If I knew of the conditions, or thought it might be a minor form of possession, I might offer something. More if it might reach someone who knew her. But... as is... nothing I say can or will add anything to that. So... no comment.
The world had gone, at times and in ways, completely mad. My job isn't to notice, save to avoid. It isn't to add to it, point it out so much, or judge it. I don't think things have changed. People simply can be more aware of it through the internet. It's in our lives, with people we know, at work, at church, at home, even on our own. We have learned to filter, and maybe, hopefully, pray. It's always been there. Still, I think I'll attempt to go back to filtering, and lean a little heavier or praying. Drop the comments, pick up the cannoli... urhm, prayer that is.
Want to do a favor? Pray that my efforts lead to more success than not.
.
I have gone through periods when I would not comment on other posts. I knew something was wrong, simply could not sort it out at the time. I still have some difficulty, though I seem to see the problem if not be completely at ease to manage it. Practice makes perfect.
My problem is, when I see a post which might cause a certain reaction, a strong emotional response, especially in my more feeble moments, it is easy to post unwisely. There is the deep end, then there is the really deep end. Call it click bait, or response bait, it is what it is. Not all such bait, not at all times, though often enough I snap. I am sure there is a hook in there, even if I don't sense it. Always? I think, one way or another, yes.
I didn't realize this all, or altogether, or my parts in it until about now. Yet, some time back, I started pulling comments. I'd write a paragraph or three then... dump it. Oh, I still post. I still rant. I still comment, sometimes just as wrongly as ever. Practice, remember. This isn't something that will be fixed overnight. As with other improvements I am attempting to make in my life, this is just one of them.
They seem to do it on the right and left. It is a form of virtue-signalling... a knee-jerk reaction. I think they ween people in, or out. I think they have a laugh at the reactions. And, to some extent, fairly. As with the hope of beginning studies, I hope also to improve my approach to emotional and psychological events. Seeing traps for what they are, and refusing to play along. And, yet, not completely cutting out interactions on key events.
What is happening with or to some Brazilian dictator? What some obviously disturbed woman, who paints herself with menstrual blood and does a naked photo shoot to... what was it... defy period shaming? These things are really of no concern. I don't even see a way to help, and I can't hurt. Best to just walk on by, not even reading, or giving a nod, to such. Don't take this as a hate thing. It's just as tempting to write about such as it is to comment. All I am saying is that I am going another way. Or... that is the goal. And, I am not picking on you... Joe Writer. I could have used stories from anyone. Definitely from myself. And some of you, you know who you are, live in... a very strange world that borders that. I'll still visit because that is a break from the world. I simply won't have it be a part of the norm of my world. Rare treats, sure. I might even comment, if more in kind than not.
As to commenting, I am hoping to switch to a much more thoughtful approach. The woman above? Someone suggested psychology. The thing is, psychology, and even churches quite often these days, won't go there. All they try to do is make sure no one gets arrested or hurt, at least publicly. There might be help in those areas, but even if at no cost it would not be free. And people, today, who wish to do crazy are quite allowed, and would never choose to pay a price to get away from that. But... what help would such a comment be? So I dumped it. If I knew of the conditions, or thought it might be a minor form of possession, I might offer something. More if it might reach someone who knew her. But... as is... nothing I say can or will add anything to that. So... no comment.
The world had gone, at times and in ways, completely mad. My job isn't to notice, save to avoid. It isn't to add to it, point it out so much, or judge it. I don't think things have changed. People simply can be more aware of it through the internet. It's in our lives, with people we know, at work, at church, at home, even on our own. We have learned to filter, and maybe, hopefully, pray. It's always been there. Still, I think I'll attempt to go back to filtering, and lean a little heavier or praying. Drop the comments, pick up the cannoli... urhm, prayer that is.
Want to do a favor? Pray that my efforts lead to more success than not.
Something is just off.
.
.
Yeah, I have been taking it easy. Not truly by choice. If you have a flat tire, ripping on down the road just isn't the thing. More so when you know something is wrong but can't figure it out. Pull it over, look things over, check what you can. I think it is simply exhaustion. Perhaps it has gotten hot, or hotter, again? Could be a number of things. Truth is, I haven't officially be relaxing, I simply can't do much.
Beans are back on. I tested them before going to sleep. They were far from done. Those are seriously hardy beans. Which, of course, is part of why they were chosen. I still have to be checking them more frequently, as I want them partially undercooked, so as to hold up to the oven cooking that will be required. I am hoping to look over those two video recipes and sort things out. I may even research chicken, rather than duck, confit. I'm not sure I could do it, if that depends more on what skills and what items, are available. I simply don't have chicken fat sitting around in tubs, or duck for that matter. Not sure what might be substitute, but won't use Crisco or such. Bad. Oh, and I best thaw out the meats. I keep forgetting. The beans can wait a day in the fridge. It's more the cheese I worry about, if that arrived just yesterday so the timer on that is still relatively fresh.
For reasons I cannot assess, blood sugar is up. Could too much cheese do that? Or maybe it has been the constant nibbling. Yes, I am officially on a food holiday... if as much because it is tasty as because cheese has such a limited, even refrigerated, shelf-life... and can't be frozen... not the gooder cheeses. Sure, cheddar, if I am questioning pepper jack's ability even. P.J. loses something, and those unique cheeses, I am absolutely sure, would lose a lot... maybe become crumbly. Oh... might have been sardines. While nibbling, I am nibbling more broadly. Well, maybe not the sardines, but the crackers. I did that once without a problem. Twice seems to have caught up with me. Fasting blood sugar is 213. I will be a good boy from now on, other than maybe eating the cassoulete my way, though probably even then. Rich foods are actually... self limiting once you get into that swing. It's crackers, or bread, or whatever your taste, texture, or food mechanic weakness might be that will get you. Even veggies.
I still want to work. But I'm just frozen up a bit. I am hoping to find a way in to working again, soon. I am seeking the window. Even a little bit, a load or three of laundry, or an half hour tearing down boxes... or as long as such might go, perhaps hitting the living room a bit, or just tackling some things here in the computer room. A slave to disorganization, or possessions, I'd like to break the bonds. I can if I can stay fit enough to work and focus. I'll keep at it. I think I can do it. Getting so very close. Later.
.
Yeah, I have been taking it easy. Not truly by choice. If you have a flat tire, ripping on down the road just isn't the thing. More so when you know something is wrong but can't figure it out. Pull it over, look things over, check what you can. I think it is simply exhaustion. Perhaps it has gotten hot, or hotter, again? Could be a number of things. Truth is, I haven't officially be relaxing, I simply can't do much.
Beans are back on. I tested them before going to sleep. They were far from done. Those are seriously hardy beans. Which, of course, is part of why they were chosen. I still have to be checking them more frequently, as I want them partially undercooked, so as to hold up to the oven cooking that will be required. I am hoping to look over those two video recipes and sort things out. I may even research chicken, rather than duck, confit. I'm not sure I could do it, if that depends more on what skills and what items, are available. I simply don't have chicken fat sitting around in tubs, or duck for that matter. Not sure what might be substitute, but won't use Crisco or such. Bad. Oh, and I best thaw out the meats. I keep forgetting. The beans can wait a day in the fridge. It's more the cheese I worry about, if that arrived just yesterday so the timer on that is still relatively fresh.
For reasons I cannot assess, blood sugar is up. Could too much cheese do that? Or maybe it has been the constant nibbling. Yes, I am officially on a food holiday... if as much because it is tasty as because cheese has such a limited, even refrigerated, shelf-life... and can't be frozen... not the gooder cheeses. Sure, cheddar, if I am questioning pepper jack's ability even. P.J. loses something, and those unique cheeses, I am absolutely sure, would lose a lot... maybe become crumbly. Oh... might have been sardines. While nibbling, I am nibbling more broadly. Well, maybe not the sardines, but the crackers. I did that once without a problem. Twice seems to have caught up with me. Fasting blood sugar is 213. I will be a good boy from now on, other than maybe eating the cassoulete my way, though probably even then. Rich foods are actually... self limiting once you get into that swing. It's crackers, or bread, or whatever your taste, texture, or food mechanic weakness might be that will get you. Even veggies.
I still want to work. But I'm just frozen up a bit. I am hoping to find a way in to working again, soon. I am seeking the window. Even a little bit, a load or three of laundry, or an half hour tearing down boxes... or as long as such might go, perhaps hitting the living room a bit, or just tackling some things here in the computer room. A slave to disorganization, or possessions, I'd like to break the bonds. I can if I can stay fit enough to work and focus. I'll keep at it. I think I can do it. Getting so very close. Later.
I'm awake.
.
.
That is about it. I haven't been reading, or writing obviously, doing laundry, or... well... anything. I did make a cup of coffee, or two, using a type of coffee pot that is sort of different. It is said to be an espresso machine, mechanical. I'm not extremely impressed with it. It isn't horrible, it just isn't all that. And the coffee might be a bit acidic through it. I can handle coffee through machines, and the french press, fine. Though I haven't been drinking coffee for quite some time. Perhaps that is the problem?
The beans are cooking, after soaking all night. I just put them on to a typical cooking, in a pot, on the stove, with lots of water, for a long time. Though that may be interrupted. I need a nap. So I may turn it off and close it down while I nap, and hope it either finishes in the interim or can handle an interrupted cooking process. I have usually be happily surprised at how well, with a little care, cooking can be stopped and started later, successfully. Not always, not always perfectly, but mostly good results. Then again, even when not interrupted, cooking is... an analog thing. Hit or miss, if experience and forethought lead to more hit than miss. Unless you have a misses who cooks, then it's usually pretty good, you better hope.
Yeah, nap time. Hands are feeling better. I just have to be careful with them around extremes and ensure to dry them. Moisture is murder. I might as well be dipping them in boiling water if I don't dry and talk them. I've been being much more careful with how often I wash my hands... as a marine in a joke once told me after I suggest my mother taught me to wash after going... his mother taught him not to pee on his hands. Check and... mate. Though, sometimes, there are no options. Then mild water temps and moisturizing soap. Yeah. Even working with the beans, when removing the lid or skimming... I am very cautious. I tell you, I'm jumping from one possible death scenario to the next in my dark imagination. Actually worse. I don't think I get to die, but I can suffer. I know just how much, and think it could get much worse.
Oh, right, nap. Good morning, good day, later, and yeah.
.
That is about it. I haven't been reading, or writing obviously, doing laundry, or... well... anything. I did make a cup of coffee, or two, using a type of coffee pot that is sort of different. It is said to be an espresso machine, mechanical. I'm not extremely impressed with it. It isn't horrible, it just isn't all that. And the coffee might be a bit acidic through it. I can handle coffee through machines, and the french press, fine. Though I haven't been drinking coffee for quite some time. Perhaps that is the problem?
The beans are cooking, after soaking all night. I just put them on to a typical cooking, in a pot, on the stove, with lots of water, for a long time. Though that may be interrupted. I need a nap. So I may turn it off and close it down while I nap, and hope it either finishes in the interim or can handle an interrupted cooking process. I have usually be happily surprised at how well, with a little care, cooking can be stopped and started later, successfully. Not always, not always perfectly, but mostly good results. Then again, even when not interrupted, cooking is... an analog thing. Hit or miss, if experience and forethought lead to more hit than miss. Unless you have a misses who cooks, then it's usually pretty good, you better hope.
Yeah, nap time. Hands are feeling better. I just have to be careful with them around extremes and ensure to dry them. Moisture is murder. I might as well be dipping them in boiling water if I don't dry and talk them. I've been being much more careful with how often I wash my hands... as a marine in a joke once told me after I suggest my mother taught me to wash after going... his mother taught him not to pee on his hands. Check and... mate. Though, sometimes, there are no options. Then mild water temps and moisturizing soap. Yeah. Even working with the beans, when removing the lid or skimming... I am very cautious. I tell you, I'm jumping from one possible death scenario to the next in my dark imagination. Actually worse. I don't think I get to die, but I can suffer. I know just how much, and think it could get much worse.
Oh, right, nap. Good morning, good day, later, and yeah.
Who needs sleep anyway.
.
.
I did get some sleep. Both this time, if less, and earlier. Both were needed, both worked as intended... no that isn't always the case. I am just, now, getting used to sleeping every day, and well enough that I usually feel rested. Decades of knowing no true rest before that. You have no idea what pain is until you can't rest, don't get a break, for a year or two. While I tease about the shortness of sleep, with having slept earlier today, and needing rest from overworking a bit, it actually is all quite good.
Fasting blood sugar is 152.
I forgot to take off the compression socks. As well, I oiled the hands and wore gloves. I am hoping the cotton gloves are easier to wear. The plastic gloves make my hands, thus me, hot. Along with the socks... might have been why I woke a little earlier. Still, rest was achieved, so I don't actually mind.
First thing I did was the dishes. While I still had the gloves on. A second wash, so a rinse, then drying and putting it away and... done. A shower before long, when I wake. Then on to laundry and breaking down boxes. If I get the boxes done, or even most of them, I'll take them in soon. I need to do various shopping, visit an office, make a few calls as well.
It's not perfect, boys and girls. I have to suffer through much to get to things, even now. But I CAN suffer through. I CAN focus. I CAN go. If, even now, not always at my leisure. If I don't fight too much, take my time, aim and keep that focus through whatever deluge of chaos comes my way, I will get to it. Success, also, as the story goes, breeds success. And success is sexy. *wink* Still, I do only what I can, when I can, as I may. Not always up to me. THAT my friends is capitalism.
I won't worry about the beans until later. And, actually, I can cook those in the pressure cooker. Actually in one of two. And, actually, with one of them with new parts, I would like to test it out. To be honest, if it weren't for wanting to test the pressure cooker with new parts, I would cook the beans low and slow. That is a nice option, and there are times when I will use the pressure cooker. But, mostly... why? If they are going to be flimsy, I don't know that I really want to be using them just for beans. Well, and beans seem to clog up the works on top of it all. When the beans are done, they may well just go into the fridge overnight, as I plan the meal for tomorrow... or even Saturday. I want to actually meld those two recipes and fix them to my druthers. It's the way I do anyway. Sausage, cured smoked bacon, a pork chop, and... instead of confit? Perhaps just regular chicken thighs? Maybe. I sure like the mix of meats. Anyway... I have some time, if I really need to get going on that too.
A shower before too long, then laundry. I am sort of off my fast, as cheeses don't wait. A cheese is a terrible thing to waist, if 7.5 ounces, by three, is a lot of cheese. I have, say, a fifth of it away. Even if it wasn't necessarily liked, it is nice to let people taste things. Who knows, I may be helping develop the next chef, or even home cook who has a nose and love of these things. Good cheese isn't so much expensive, aside from shipping and a minor premium for some specialty cuts... but it can be difficult to find and terribly difficult to know. Even knowing just one line of cheeses, say these washed rind, is probably beyond most save cheesemongers and a very select few chefs, connoisseurs, and even fewer just regular Joes. I hope, only, to get a slim idea for when ordering, or looking over a recipe. I'm... I suppose you might say... in chef school, of my own design. Tasting is as much the game as anything. Before you know what will fit, you have to know something. Next time I will go with cheeses in the cheddar texture, though not cheddar. Well, and gorgonzola. I couldn't fit that in this last order. It'll be a couple of months again... four. In a couple months I am hoping to order more fish and seafood. Though to be honest, an order of cheese and salami is less than one type of fresh fish or seafood. Hmm... Cut one of the seafood orders? Maybe.
Yeah... I'll try to wake. Then get on to some things. Good morning and day.
------
.
I did get some sleep. Both this time, if less, and earlier. Both were needed, both worked as intended... no that isn't always the case. I am just, now, getting used to sleeping every day, and well enough that I usually feel rested. Decades of knowing no true rest before that. You have no idea what pain is until you can't rest, don't get a break, for a year or two. While I tease about the shortness of sleep, with having slept earlier today, and needing rest from overworking a bit, it actually is all quite good.
Fasting blood sugar is 152.
I forgot to take off the compression socks. As well, I oiled the hands and wore gloves. I am hoping the cotton gloves are easier to wear. The plastic gloves make my hands, thus me, hot. Along with the socks... might have been why I woke a little earlier. Still, rest was achieved, so I don't actually mind.
First thing I did was the dishes. While I still had the gloves on. A second wash, so a rinse, then drying and putting it away and... done. A shower before long, when I wake. Then on to laundry and breaking down boxes. If I get the boxes done, or even most of them, I'll take them in soon. I need to do various shopping, visit an office, make a few calls as well.
It's not perfect, boys and girls. I have to suffer through much to get to things, even now. But I CAN suffer through. I CAN focus. I CAN go. If, even now, not always at my leisure. If I don't fight too much, take my time, aim and keep that focus through whatever deluge of chaos comes my way, I will get to it. Success, also, as the story goes, breeds success. And success is sexy. *wink* Still, I do only what I can, when I can, as I may. Not always up to me. THAT my friends is capitalism.
I won't worry about the beans until later. And, actually, I can cook those in the pressure cooker. Actually in one of two. And, actually, with one of them with new parts, I would like to test it out. To be honest, if it weren't for wanting to test the pressure cooker with new parts, I would cook the beans low and slow. That is a nice option, and there are times when I will use the pressure cooker. But, mostly... why? If they are going to be flimsy, I don't know that I really want to be using them just for beans. Well, and beans seem to clog up the works on top of it all. When the beans are done, they may well just go into the fridge overnight, as I plan the meal for tomorrow... or even Saturday. I want to actually meld those two recipes and fix them to my druthers. It's the way I do anyway. Sausage, cured smoked bacon, a pork chop, and... instead of confit? Perhaps just regular chicken thighs? Maybe. I sure like the mix of meats. Anyway... I have some time, if I really need to get going on that too.
A shower before too long, then laundry. I am sort of off my fast, as cheeses don't wait. A cheese is a terrible thing to waist, if 7.5 ounces, by three, is a lot of cheese. I have, say, a fifth of it away. Even if it wasn't necessarily liked, it is nice to let people taste things. Who knows, I may be helping develop the next chef, or even home cook who has a nose and love of these things. Good cheese isn't so much expensive, aside from shipping and a minor premium for some specialty cuts... but it can be difficult to find and terribly difficult to know. Even knowing just one line of cheeses, say these washed rind, is probably beyond most save cheesemongers and a very select few chefs, connoisseurs, and even fewer just regular Joes. I hope, only, to get a slim idea for when ordering, or looking over a recipe. I'm... I suppose you might say... in chef school, of my own design. Tasting is as much the game as anything. Before you know what will fit, you have to know something. Next time I will go with cheeses in the cheddar texture, though not cheddar. Well, and gorgonzola. I couldn't fit that in this last order. It'll be a couple of months again... four. In a couple months I am hoping to order more fish and seafood. Though to be honest, an order of cheese and salami is less than one type of fresh fish or seafood. Hmm... Cut one of the seafood orders? Maybe.
Yeah... I'll try to wake. Then get on to some things. Good morning and day.
------
Tuesday, August 30, 2016
Yeah, not doing well.
.
.
I actually think I am going on back to bed. Nothing too terrible. I have actually improved. I am simply extremely tired. Which is fine. Given the gives I have done a lot of work. I don't mind taking some down time. I may do a bit more reading, if I don't have the capacity to focus for exercises. I will have t work up to even doing those in the simple, over time moving to serious depth and sets of them. I think life is returning. It's too late for anything, like a career. Though I have some doubts that even a solid return would allow for the sort of regularity required by most jobs... even the jobs that only require deadlines be met. Still, I might get to a few things, learn a bit more, perhaps become a functional, if very minor, engineer of sorts.
Ah, but for now, rest. Oh, the stereo is okay. It isn't exactly an audiophile's top, or even middle, pick. Better than mp3, I suppose. It has a decent volume, and works well enough for now. Now, I have the fan going and I haven't read how to set the equalizer. I like clean sound over too heavy of a base. Though, truth is, each cd sort of needs it's own settings. It's, really, a fancier kid's system. I just wasn't willing to slowly build a true sound system, then tinker with the damn thing every time I listen to a new cd. Anyway, it will do. And it is up, and in... probably... record time. Yes, it will do.
Beside being behind in books, I had fallen behind in music. I, however, cannot learn to speed listen. Or... I... just don't think that would work at all. It is good to be behind in music and books, at least ones to your taste though. Bedtime, for now. Then, when I wake, laundry, dishes, and such. I can't get gloves on with the honey goop, so I'll make a second jar of just the essential oils mixed with olive oil, and... try the gloves again. while I didn't think the gloves worked, didn't seem too, my hands are better, much better, if the healing seems to have been a bit delayed. Yeah, I'll try it again. Good night.
Oh, blood sugar is 178. I ate a bit, as well as sampling some of the cheeses with some salami as I passed some of that along. To be honest, if I didn't try them all, most of the "stinky cheeses" weren't all that stinky. Though I was a bit surprised at the variety of textures. One was sort of like a cheddar, only infused with salt crystals; one was more like (texture-wise) a solid piece of Parmesan if it did have a mild sort of the stink that one might think would come from such a cheese; and the other seemed like a semi-soft cheese, almost like a provolone, only sweet somehow. Now, I am using one of them, whole, for a casserole (the casseolete (sp?) mixed with the potato casserole). Which, by the way, I am hoping to arrange for either tomorrow or the next day. Hmm... To that end, I do believe I will soak beans and thaw several meats. Tomorrow or Friday I will... work out a recipe from those two, then begin the work. I am truly excited! If I can just wake up!
.
I actually think I am going on back to bed. Nothing too terrible. I have actually improved. I am simply extremely tired. Which is fine. Given the gives I have done a lot of work. I don't mind taking some down time. I may do a bit more reading, if I don't have the capacity to focus for exercises. I will have t work up to even doing those in the simple, over time moving to serious depth and sets of them. I think life is returning. It's too late for anything, like a career. Though I have some doubts that even a solid return would allow for the sort of regularity required by most jobs... even the jobs that only require deadlines be met. Still, I might get to a few things, learn a bit more, perhaps become a functional, if very minor, engineer of sorts.
Ah, but for now, rest. Oh, the stereo is okay. It isn't exactly an audiophile's top, or even middle, pick. Better than mp3, I suppose. It has a decent volume, and works well enough for now. Now, I have the fan going and I haven't read how to set the equalizer. I like clean sound over too heavy of a base. Though, truth is, each cd sort of needs it's own settings. It's, really, a fancier kid's system. I just wasn't willing to slowly build a true sound system, then tinker with the damn thing every time I listen to a new cd. Anyway, it will do. And it is up, and in... probably... record time. Yes, it will do.
Beside being behind in books, I had fallen behind in music. I, however, cannot learn to speed listen. Or... I... just don't think that would work at all. It is good to be behind in music and books, at least ones to your taste though. Bedtime, for now. Then, when I wake, laundry, dishes, and such. I can't get gloves on with the honey goop, so I'll make a second jar of just the essential oils mixed with olive oil, and... try the gloves again. while I didn't think the gloves worked, didn't seem too, my hands are better, much better, if the healing seems to have been a bit delayed. Yeah, I'll try it again. Good night.
Oh, blood sugar is 178. I ate a bit, as well as sampling some of the cheeses with some salami as I passed some of that along. To be honest, if I didn't try them all, most of the "stinky cheeses" weren't all that stinky. Though I was a bit surprised at the variety of textures. One was sort of like a cheddar, only infused with salt crystals; one was more like (texture-wise) a solid piece of Parmesan if it did have a mild sort of the stink that one might think would come from such a cheese; and the other seemed like a semi-soft cheese, almost like a provolone, only sweet somehow. Now, I am using one of them, whole, for a casserole (the casseolete (sp?) mixed with the potato casserole). Which, by the way, I am hoping to arrange for either tomorrow or the next day. Hmm... To that end, I do believe I will soak beans and thaw several meats. Tomorrow or Friday I will... work out a recipe from those two, then begin the work. I am truly excited! If I can just wake up!
Burns.
.
.
Yes, I have done a serious job on my hands. Between stressing them by washing so often, and with a harsh soap, plus washing dishes and all, on to burning them. I have three fingers on my left hand and that palm, plus one or two areas on my right hand, that all need a lot of care. Plus I am not healing as quickly as I should, or used to heal, or... such. It's difficult when one is used to just |healing|. As poor as my health is and was, I used to heal extremely quickly. My hands, if I dinged them up worse than they are now, would heal in a week. Scars? So very rarely. As I have mentioned, if they looked at my body with a machine that could see scars they human eye can't detect, they would be amazed. I don't always scare even when something should have been treated. I have some, many, visible scars mind you. Just not all that I deserve.
The deal is this, though. If my body isn't healing as well as I would like, then figuring out how to help it heal is left to me. I have been doing various things to that end, but didn't really have a good source of knowledge. Technically I still don't. The interwebs are much more miss than hit. What I am doing seems to be helping, but always with the threat of it becoming worse at the drop of the hand... simply in water. A shower, the dishes, washing hands after voiding... all take their toll. Drying helps, then using talc to fully dry. But the hands hurt when wetted, almost no matter how.
.
Yes, I have done a serious job on my hands. Between stressing them by washing so often, and with a harsh soap, plus washing dishes and all, on to burning them. I have three fingers on my left hand and that palm, plus one or two areas on my right hand, that all need a lot of care. Plus I am not healing as quickly as I should, or used to heal, or... such. It's difficult when one is used to just |healing|. As poor as my health is and was, I used to heal extremely quickly. My hands, if I dinged them up worse than they are now, would heal in a week. Scars? So very rarely. As I have mentioned, if they looked at my body with a machine that could see scars they human eye can't detect, they would be amazed. I don't always scare even when something should have been treated. I have some, many, visible scars mind you. Just not all that I deserve.
The deal is this, though. If my body isn't healing as well as I would like, then figuring out how to help it heal is left to me. I have been doing various things to that end, but didn't really have a good source of knowledge. Technically I still don't. The interwebs are much more miss than hit. What I am doing seems to be helping, but always with the threat of it becoming worse at the drop of the hand... simply in water. A shower, the dishes, washing hands after voiding... all take their toll. Drying helps, then using talc to fully dry. But the hands hurt when wetted, almost no matter how.
Something is amiss.
.
.
Off. Awful. Wrong. It's as if recovering from a rather close fight. Mostly the midsection. I thought it might be diabetes doing a war dance, but no... fasting blood sugar is 164. While not excellent, the trend is good, even with the speedbump. So why do I feel like a spent shell, having just gone off and now being ejected? I can't say. In some ways it is like the flu. A bit dizzy, a little nauseous, perhaps with a minor fever. The dizziness doesn't throw me off my function, the nausea won't keep me from anything, but with those and some other things that are just off, I'm really not going to be a game player today.
No worries. I have done extremely well lately. I should be able to keep up fairly well. And, when this passes, get to even more. Breaking down boxes, a few dishes, and laundry is where it is at, for when I can get to it again. Reading on speed reading is going... very fast! No kidding if punning or... some other sort of horrid humor? The thing is, there are exercises the first book recommends. So, even when I finish the material I will not be finished with the book. I suppose I should create a list of the exercises, if some are pictorially dependent so I will even so need the tome. My guess is the other books will have exercises. Some of them all will be the same, though each might have slightly different... or better... versions. I go by results... as subjective as that can be, if as objectively as possible.
Something else I would like to begin studying? Various mathematical and scientific fields. Much of it, initially, can be review. At some point there is the hope that I will go on from those points. Why? Because I actually like that 'crap'. Oh, yes, I do. Now I actually am better at English, but at some point, other than reading well written books, the sort of study available is not to my liking. Etymology could be interesting, but after having had a lover who was into that, if she was more into the German side of things, it's... not as it might seem... and requires access to books, tracts, treatises, opuses, and such which are often rare and only obtainable via academic access. Hours of pouring through things to find a word, then pouring over the rest of the book in part or whole in order to understand the meaning of the word. It is interesting, but daunting and rarefied. No, English has nothing to offer, in the way of advancing (myself), at this point. so it is in the sciences and maths I go.
I have been meaning to begin study again, probably since I moved here. I may be at that point, finally. If I can, I will run my day as a slightly academic event. Only, not the whole day. A few "classes" each day, though some what flexible, and perhaps not every day. Perhaps a Monday, Wednesday, Friday, hour or two per three subject study time? Something like that. A time (if completely flexible) set aside for leisure or peripheral reading... both fiction, science, politics, and war... starting with a few of the classics. Though that I would like to do every day. Some every day, if only leisure pretty much on a daily basis, the other books and such more like the courses. Why the classics? Because even today, that is where Western Civ folk, at least, truly start. Where from there is... another question entirely. But without commonality, like or not, one is simply alone in a soup of themselves, their own thoughts, or side issues. It is the way of it. Funny thing is, as with The Art of War, not all classics were culled from Western Civ... only for it... it too only as a building block, and if more fiction than not potentially... or artistic rather than truly functional? Something.
But, for today, I will do little. Something is very off. I'll give it some time, take a day or two down, and figure out where next when I am able. Good afternoon and day.
.
Off. Awful. Wrong. It's as if recovering from a rather close fight. Mostly the midsection. I thought it might be diabetes doing a war dance, but no... fasting blood sugar is 164. While not excellent, the trend is good, even with the speedbump. So why do I feel like a spent shell, having just gone off and now being ejected? I can't say. In some ways it is like the flu. A bit dizzy, a little nauseous, perhaps with a minor fever. The dizziness doesn't throw me off my function, the nausea won't keep me from anything, but with those and some other things that are just off, I'm really not going to be a game player today.
No worries. I have done extremely well lately. I should be able to keep up fairly well. And, when this passes, get to even more. Breaking down boxes, a few dishes, and laundry is where it is at, for when I can get to it again. Reading on speed reading is going... very fast! No kidding if punning or... some other sort of horrid humor? The thing is, there are exercises the first book recommends. So, even when I finish the material I will not be finished with the book. I suppose I should create a list of the exercises, if some are pictorially dependent so I will even so need the tome. My guess is the other books will have exercises. Some of them all will be the same, though each might have slightly different... or better... versions. I go by results... as subjective as that can be, if as objectively as possible.
Something else I would like to begin studying? Various mathematical and scientific fields. Much of it, initially, can be review. At some point there is the hope that I will go on from those points. Why? Because I actually like that 'crap'. Oh, yes, I do. Now I actually am better at English, but at some point, other than reading well written books, the sort of study available is not to my liking. Etymology could be interesting, but after having had a lover who was into that, if she was more into the German side of things, it's... not as it might seem... and requires access to books, tracts, treatises, opuses, and such which are often rare and only obtainable via academic access. Hours of pouring through things to find a word, then pouring over the rest of the book in part or whole in order to understand the meaning of the word. It is interesting, but daunting and rarefied. No, English has nothing to offer, in the way of advancing (myself), at this point. so it is in the sciences and maths I go.
I have been meaning to begin study again, probably since I moved here. I may be at that point, finally. If I can, I will run my day as a slightly academic event. Only, not the whole day. A few "classes" each day, though some what flexible, and perhaps not every day. Perhaps a Monday, Wednesday, Friday, hour or two per three subject study time? Something like that. A time (if completely flexible) set aside for leisure or peripheral reading... both fiction, science, politics, and war... starting with a few of the classics. Though that I would like to do every day. Some every day, if only leisure pretty much on a daily basis, the other books and such more like the courses. Why the classics? Because even today, that is where Western Civ folk, at least, truly start. Where from there is... another question entirely. But without commonality, like or not, one is simply alone in a soup of themselves, their own thoughts, or side issues. It is the way of it. Funny thing is, as with The Art of War, not all classics were culled from Western Civ... only for it... it too only as a building block, and if more fiction than not potentially... or artistic rather than truly functional? Something.
But, for today, I will do little. Something is very off. I'll give it some time, take a day or two down, and figure out where next when I am able. Good afternoon and day.
Not quite at the turning point, but planning in advance.
.
.
Health looks to be something that can be... managed? Some of the problems, perhaps, can be beat outright. I'm looking at diabetes, and perhaps water retention. Beyond that, function has been incredible. Each year for the last few years I have been improving. Falling for a while. But the falls are less than what used to be my best. I don't even sleep for weeks, let alone months, let alone that year. I don't forget, if I can't always do much about things. I know if I miss an appointment. I even know why I can make an appointment and not church. I can set an appointment, using current conditions, then plan for the short run... aiming at it. Perhaps more, in time. If I am... having some worries about church. Then again I always have. Not really the point, to one degree... if I do need to tend my soul... or spirit.
Ah, but what is this all about? Right. Changes. As I look at my blogging, more recently and in the past, I see... a drowning creature, quite often. Angry, unhappy, in pain. I am moving away from that. Oh, I'll always have that touch of darkness. I have opened up to light, and live hope, faith, and charity. I wouldn't exist without them, I don't believe. If that isn't the whole of the changes. Moving away from the darkness, by improving health, I can walk away from more. I am looking at improving some other areas.
I don't believe in debate, mind you. It isn't a proof, it is an intellectual, psychological, wrestling match. It, as any other form of might, does not make right. Philosophy isn't an area in which I will delve either. It is a cover for the failure of the secular, nothing more, for the most part. Now, while a more functional logic isn't an answer to life and all, it is not a bad thing to consider. It is this area which I am hoping to grow in.
To that end I am looking at improving my reading speed, and learning ability. Then, as I learn and explore, turning these reawakened skills, and healthier body and mind, toward... little and big problems in the world. I won't be looking for "the answer", your answer, or even my answers. I simply wish to explore solutions, possibilities, and expand my skills in various areas. Not just pure logic, or that at all. Though perhaps. Any topic which might be related to a problem, linking to a possible solution. Puzzles, of the practical. I think there are many to be explored. No promises, mind you.
Life is just, maybe, picking up. I can't believe, as I walk through my home, at least the kitchen, how much I really can do, how much I did. I want more. I think I can. If I survive, I think I will. This is long and rambling. That is another thing I hope to fix. Being concise, as much as that is possible sometimes.
I did get the stereo up and going. I'm listening to A Perfect Circle. I have a dozen or so cd's, all of which have been played here, to review. Yeah, didn't blow anything up. Had to locate, relocate, and more. I was able to keep at it and just do it... do it right. Including finding the open stapler so as to expand the antenna to it's full length. Yeah. I like this new life. Later.
.
Health looks to be something that can be... managed? Some of the problems, perhaps, can be beat outright. I'm looking at diabetes, and perhaps water retention. Beyond that, function has been incredible. Each year for the last few years I have been improving. Falling for a while. But the falls are less than what used to be my best. I don't even sleep for weeks, let alone months, let alone that year. I don't forget, if I can't always do much about things. I know if I miss an appointment. I even know why I can make an appointment and not church. I can set an appointment, using current conditions, then plan for the short run... aiming at it. Perhaps more, in time. If I am... having some worries about church. Then again I always have. Not really the point, to one degree... if I do need to tend my soul... or spirit.
Ah, but what is this all about? Right. Changes. As I look at my blogging, more recently and in the past, I see... a drowning creature, quite often. Angry, unhappy, in pain. I am moving away from that. Oh, I'll always have that touch of darkness. I have opened up to light, and live hope, faith, and charity. I wouldn't exist without them, I don't believe. If that isn't the whole of the changes. Moving away from the darkness, by improving health, I can walk away from more. I am looking at improving some other areas.
I don't believe in debate, mind you. It isn't a proof, it is an intellectual, psychological, wrestling match. It, as any other form of might, does not make right. Philosophy isn't an area in which I will delve either. It is a cover for the failure of the secular, nothing more, for the most part. Now, while a more functional logic isn't an answer to life and all, it is not a bad thing to consider. It is this area which I am hoping to grow in.
To that end I am looking at improving my reading speed, and learning ability. Then, as I learn and explore, turning these reawakened skills, and healthier body and mind, toward... little and big problems in the world. I won't be looking for "the answer", your answer, or even my answers. I simply wish to explore solutions, possibilities, and expand my skills in various areas. Not just pure logic, or that at all. Though perhaps. Any topic which might be related to a problem, linking to a possible solution. Puzzles, of the practical. I think there are many to be explored. No promises, mind you.
Life is just, maybe, picking up. I can't believe, as I walk through my home, at least the kitchen, how much I really can do, how much I did. I want more. I think I can. If I survive, I think I will. This is long and rambling. That is another thing I hope to fix. Being concise, as much as that is possible sometimes.
I did get the stereo up and going. I'm listening to A Perfect Circle. I have a dozen or so cd's, all of which have been played here, to review. Yeah, didn't blow anything up. Had to locate, relocate, and more. I was able to keep at it and just do it... do it right. Including finding the open stapler so as to expand the antenna to it's full length. Yeah. I like this new life. Later.
Sleep is such a gift.
.
.
I have no idea when I went down. I don't know if, when a post is updated, it takes a new timestamp but I don't thing so. I received several calls, starting right at 18:00, so I was in bed before then. My phone was on, I think, until stumbling through, for some reason, I checked it and turned it off later in the evening. You know, if I am going to do weird things? Why can't I be a sleep eater! :p Seriously though? I think I would take turning off the phone to eating, even eating the phone? Especially that. Some people really have a serious problem with that. If you have ever caught someone in the act, roommate, parent, etc... and they don't even know what they are doing? Yeah. Of course I think cutting carbs really would solve that problem. Especially sugars and rawer carbs.
I woke right around 2:00 though... give or take 15 minutes. I tested fasting blood sugar. Thankfully it has come down some, it is at 160. I really didn't eat much of the questionable food. Though maybe that is why it is dropping so quickly? That orange juice obliterated weeks of work for weeks. Oh, and I did weigh in yesterday, first thing... 270. Yeah... well... shit.
Anyway... What to do today? Laundry, the last bits of dishes, a shower, and some hand washing of socks. I plan to actually do some phone business today, or make an attempt. Oh, and first thing, actually, is I would like to set up the stereo. It won't take too much, probably. I simply need to clear a space on top of my book shelves. One would not be enough. Thankfully I have two side by side, matching, here in the computer room. I have, mostly, dvd/blueray movies on top, and a few odds and ends, such as a liquid fuel storm lantern. Some things, like the lantern and gas mask spare parts, can stay. I think they make lovely decorations... plus are right handy.
First, however, I must wake more fully. The bit of tea, perhaps bone broth, you know... the good day stuff. Oh... I am also going to sample kefir... as to blood sugar. But when I have a day/awake fasting period, then can try it on it's own, then test after for an hour and two hours. However that goes, the next thing I want to do is try some kefir before a bone broth and cream "snack", then with the two hourly follow ups... and then, next time I have a meal... which will be Thursday... do a trial where I do the same thing with kefir, but before the meal. There is some suggestion that while kefir will raise blood sugar, it may help digest a meal and somehow lower the glycemic reaction to the food. I will be testing this. Testing it alone, first... or sometime. And testing it with various items I otherwise normally consume. Yes, I want to know. I want to know how best to eat what I think I should be eating. It won't be perfectly scientific. It will be engineered, to a degree. I don't need a statistically significant data point spread and analysis... just... a most likely scenario. Besides, from what I am seeing, all of those seem to be wrong. All we can do is get... close enough. More like hand grenades than nukes, it is hoped. But if nuke radius is as close as a thing can be known and practiced, so be it.
Oh? I have become extremely frustrated with my reading situation. So? I looked at a number of speed reading books, ebooks. Yeah, I know... might just be uselessly adding books to a pile I can't seem to dig through. I am taking the best shot I can at improving my speed. I also bought a book on speed learning, just as an aside or addition or multiplier. I used to be able to read three books a week... and STILL have a life. I read the NT, then the OT, and then the NT (bible) in a summer, but I think that was slow. Speed reading and... I might read both in a month? This time, though, there are a few areas I want to fully intellectually explore. For example, I wish to make hashmash out of the lineage of Christ... both of them. Yeah, there are two. I HAVE read them three or four times, but not in a comparative manner. Though that is a smaller detail thing. There are other topics I wish to explore to a greater extent.
Only after I catch up on a couple dozen books, some in series, some not. But not just read, with some of them, but debate... shred if I can. And shred as I understand things. Even the most brilliant, and I won't say that is a truth of any man as any man may stumble, can be brought down. All should be, or should be approached with that intent. Warriors of mind, flesh, and/or soul, be they brother or enemy, are there to make you stronger. But that won't happen if you simply submit. Fight... for your knowledge, freedom, understanding, faith. Giving up to "a better" is no different than surrendering to Goliath, Microsoft, .gov, or anyone else... even .chur. You must test, discern, and struggle with and against.
Oh, urhm, hmm? Ah, right. Something! Simply not awake yet. Music and... I dunno... something... until something. I guess? Yeah. Good morning. Why are you up so early, ya freak. Later.
.
I have no idea when I went down. I don't know if, when a post is updated, it takes a new timestamp but I don't thing so. I received several calls, starting right at 18:00, so I was in bed before then. My phone was on, I think, until stumbling through, for some reason, I checked it and turned it off later in the evening. You know, if I am going to do weird things? Why can't I be a sleep eater! :p Seriously though? I think I would take turning off the phone to eating, even eating the phone? Especially that. Some people really have a serious problem with that. If you have ever caught someone in the act, roommate, parent, etc... and they don't even know what they are doing? Yeah. Of course I think cutting carbs really would solve that problem. Especially sugars and rawer carbs.
I woke right around 2:00 though... give or take 15 minutes. I tested fasting blood sugar. Thankfully it has come down some, it is at 160. I really didn't eat much of the questionable food. Though maybe that is why it is dropping so quickly? That orange juice obliterated weeks of work for weeks. Oh, and I did weigh in yesterday, first thing... 270. Yeah... well... shit.
Anyway... What to do today? Laundry, the last bits of dishes, a shower, and some hand washing of socks. I plan to actually do some phone business today, or make an attempt. Oh, and first thing, actually, is I would like to set up the stereo. It won't take too much, probably. I simply need to clear a space on top of my book shelves. One would not be enough. Thankfully I have two side by side, matching, here in the computer room. I have, mostly, dvd/blueray movies on top, and a few odds and ends, such as a liquid fuel storm lantern. Some things, like the lantern and gas mask spare parts, can stay. I think they make lovely decorations... plus are right handy.
First, however, I must wake more fully. The bit of tea, perhaps bone broth, you know... the good day stuff. Oh... I am also going to sample kefir... as to blood sugar. But when I have a day/awake fasting period, then can try it on it's own, then test after for an hour and two hours. However that goes, the next thing I want to do is try some kefir before a bone broth and cream "snack", then with the two hourly follow ups... and then, next time I have a meal... which will be Thursday... do a trial where I do the same thing with kefir, but before the meal. There is some suggestion that while kefir will raise blood sugar, it may help digest a meal and somehow lower the glycemic reaction to the food. I will be testing this. Testing it alone, first... or sometime. And testing it with various items I otherwise normally consume. Yes, I want to know. I want to know how best to eat what I think I should be eating. It won't be perfectly scientific. It will be engineered, to a degree. I don't need a statistically significant data point spread and analysis... just... a most likely scenario. Besides, from what I am seeing, all of those seem to be wrong. All we can do is get... close enough. More like hand grenades than nukes, it is hoped. But if nuke radius is as close as a thing can be known and practiced, so be it.
Oh? I have become extremely frustrated with my reading situation. So? I looked at a number of speed reading books, ebooks. Yeah, I know... might just be uselessly adding books to a pile I can't seem to dig through. I am taking the best shot I can at improving my speed. I also bought a book on speed learning, just as an aside or addition or multiplier. I used to be able to read three books a week... and STILL have a life. I read the NT, then the OT, and then the NT (bible) in a summer, but I think that was slow. Speed reading and... I might read both in a month? This time, though, there are a few areas I want to fully intellectually explore. For example, I wish to make hashmash out of the lineage of Christ... both of them. Yeah, there are two. I HAVE read them three or four times, but not in a comparative manner. Though that is a smaller detail thing. There are other topics I wish to explore to a greater extent.
Only after I catch up on a couple dozen books, some in series, some not. But not just read, with some of them, but debate... shred if I can. And shred as I understand things. Even the most brilliant, and I won't say that is a truth of any man as any man may stumble, can be brought down. All should be, or should be approached with that intent. Warriors of mind, flesh, and/or soul, be they brother or enemy, are there to make you stronger. But that won't happen if you simply submit. Fight... for your knowledge, freedom, understanding, faith. Giving up to "a better" is no different than surrendering to Goliath, Microsoft, .gov, or anyone else... even .chur. You must test, discern, and struggle with and against.
Oh, urhm, hmm? Ah, right. Something! Simply not awake yet. Music and... I dunno... something... until something. I guess? Yeah. Good morning. Why are you up so early, ya freak. Later.
Monday, August 29, 2016
Wowza.
.
.
I'm not pushing, I'm just... pushing. It isn't intentional, I guess, is what I am suggesting. Kamikaze? Geronimo? Aye. But a natural thing. My body does it, not my will. Something to consider. Can kill the flesh, not this. I was awake until after 15:00. How far beyond? Some... and change. I went in and hit hard. I woke a few times. So full of water. Socks, the pills, and elevated legs help, but I'll have to take it a bit easier in the next few days. To that end I have set up my bedroom to that end in minor ways.
I still plan to do laundry tonight. Folding, washing, drying, and on. Smaller loads. Perhaps three or four which I would normally do as two loads. It is simply too much to have that many clothes to fold all at once. The mind overloads, or mine does. That, a shower, and washing several pair of socks. I will use corn starch on my feet for now, but will be going back to gold bond stuff, and maybe see what else they have. That really does cut the itch, and dries the feet well. Both terribly desired. Corn starch does dry, it just doesn't do anything for the itch.
Walking through the kitchen, even in a zombie state from having done so much, been awake so long, stretched everything of mind and body... I still smile. I can see the counters, most of them sparkling. I can see 70 to 80 percent of the table, mostly clean. I can see a clean sink... if it isn't functioning yet. The trash has been removed and is being kept up, as are the dishes. A pleased smile, even though exhausted, by mostly asleep lips, mind, and heart. It's good.
Tired of not having anything to play music, not externally... I finally broke down and bought a shelf stereo. I haven't put it up yet, it arrived shortly before I went to bed. It isn't everything I want, though, perhaps, some of the new-fangled will be a blessing. No external out for headsets, bluetooth. I guess this one is lighted. I just hope I can turn that down or off. Hmm... I ought to see about hacking it, cutting the power to the lights. That "shouldn't" affect the rest of the system. Light power shouldn't be integrated into anything else... if these modernist bastards are attempting to make shit too stupid to be tinkered with. I'll bet someone else out there has already tinkered that way. You have to be, mostly, young and dumb to like blinky flashy all the time. The more blinky flashy, the less thinking required. Turning into goldfish... or less.
I am attempting to heat my hands. To that end, for the moment, olive oil and rubber gloves... not the heavy dish and chemical-proof kind, just the medical sort. I used them as I slept, changed them when I woke. Not sure this is the way. Doesn't seem to be helping. I really think I burned them, then doubly cursed them washing in such brutally hot water. Between the two, I believe I have a combination of burned and terribly dehydrated skin. I may have to look at other, more serious, treatments. No, no doctors. They just sell crap that has never worked. I still remember letting the V.A. docs attempt to treat some... itches... in private places and the feet. Six months, a dozen ointments, even a biopsy... which indicated it was bacterial rather than virus. Six months, four of them with a derm specialist. You know what? An off the shelf fungal spray got rid of it in two weeks. Don't even bother with doctors unless you break a bone, and make sure it isn't one who really doesn't know how to set it. If you are poor, they will bring a noob in, sedate you, and let them play... having both the "student" and you pay for malpractice. Yum! Just... don't. No, I'll figure it out myself. Bureaucrats, these days, nothing more. Overpaid. Hate me? Yeah, well, show me where I am wrong. Proof is in the pudding. Hmm... perhaps warming tallow or other fats and soaking my hands in a just warm, or even cool but liquid, form of that... and cotton or silk gloves? These medic gloves just... too hot, not breathing, not so good. After dishes tonight, I won't be washing or cooking for about three days. I can work on them in various ways. Oh, and cooler shower for both feet and hands, for a while... along with no more drying harsh soap. Bleh.
Ah, right, fasting blood sugar was 146 and one hour after eating and the current blood sugar is... 220? No, something is off. Either the other supper was somehow far too high, because all of my foods are time tested and low glycemic... or the olive oil and glove treatment is throwing things. I'll wash my hand thoroughly and retest in 15. Though... I suppose... it could be. If so, quite disappointing. I'll... have to change some plans if it reads the same.
Well... a bit of a break, digesting dinner. Then dishes, laundry, and a shower. These will be the last dishes, of all, for a while. Nice. So very nice. I'll update blood sugar in about 15 minutes on this post. Otherwise later.
------
Yeah... blood sugar is 211, meaning it really did spike. I'll have to... test some things. I'll check in an hour to see how quickly it drops. Glad I did a pre-meal test or I'd be wondering if it was a spike of no known origin. Definitely the food. Either brought in dinner part or greek yogurt creme fraiche after some aging, but I don't think the latter. It wasn't a problem before, but maybe aging does something. I didn't have that much of the other dinner, perhaps the corn chips? I've had those before too, if perhaps not this brand, with no trouble. Hmm... I'll do another test in an hour, posting results here. At least I'll know if it drops quickly.
------
That's just crazy. Two hours after dinner blood sugar spiked more, to 246. I can't eat food unless I know what is in it now. I just can't. I'm going to take a nap... or just go to bed for the night.
.
I'm not pushing, I'm just... pushing. It isn't intentional, I guess, is what I am suggesting. Kamikaze? Geronimo? Aye. But a natural thing. My body does it, not my will. Something to consider. Can kill the flesh, not this. I was awake until after 15:00. How far beyond? Some... and change. I went in and hit hard. I woke a few times. So full of water. Socks, the pills, and elevated legs help, but I'll have to take it a bit easier in the next few days. To that end I have set up my bedroom to that end in minor ways.
I still plan to do laundry tonight. Folding, washing, drying, and on. Smaller loads. Perhaps three or four which I would normally do as two loads. It is simply too much to have that many clothes to fold all at once. The mind overloads, or mine does. That, a shower, and washing several pair of socks. I will use corn starch on my feet for now, but will be going back to gold bond stuff, and maybe see what else they have. That really does cut the itch, and dries the feet well. Both terribly desired. Corn starch does dry, it just doesn't do anything for the itch.
Walking through the kitchen, even in a zombie state from having done so much, been awake so long, stretched everything of mind and body... I still smile. I can see the counters, most of them sparkling. I can see 70 to 80 percent of the table, mostly clean. I can see a clean sink... if it isn't functioning yet. The trash has been removed and is being kept up, as are the dishes. A pleased smile, even though exhausted, by mostly asleep lips, mind, and heart. It's good.
Tired of not having anything to play music, not externally... I finally broke down and bought a shelf stereo. I haven't put it up yet, it arrived shortly before I went to bed. It isn't everything I want, though, perhaps, some of the new-fangled will be a blessing. No external out for headsets, bluetooth. I guess this one is lighted. I just hope I can turn that down or off. Hmm... I ought to see about hacking it, cutting the power to the lights. That "shouldn't" affect the rest of the system. Light power shouldn't be integrated into anything else... if these modernist bastards are attempting to make shit too stupid to be tinkered with. I'll bet someone else out there has already tinkered that way. You have to be, mostly, young and dumb to like blinky flashy all the time. The more blinky flashy, the less thinking required. Turning into goldfish... or less.
I am attempting to heat my hands. To that end, for the moment, olive oil and rubber gloves... not the heavy dish and chemical-proof kind, just the medical sort. I used them as I slept, changed them when I woke. Not sure this is the way. Doesn't seem to be helping. I really think I burned them, then doubly cursed them washing in such brutally hot water. Between the two, I believe I have a combination of burned and terribly dehydrated skin. I may have to look at other, more serious, treatments. No, no doctors. They just sell crap that has never worked. I still remember letting the V.A. docs attempt to treat some... itches... in private places and the feet. Six months, a dozen ointments, even a biopsy... which indicated it was bacterial rather than virus. Six months, four of them with a derm specialist. You know what? An off the shelf fungal spray got rid of it in two weeks. Don't even bother with doctors unless you break a bone, and make sure it isn't one who really doesn't know how to set it. If you are poor, they will bring a noob in, sedate you, and let them play... having both the "student" and you pay for malpractice. Yum! Just... don't. No, I'll figure it out myself. Bureaucrats, these days, nothing more. Overpaid. Hate me? Yeah, well, show me where I am wrong. Proof is in the pudding. Hmm... perhaps warming tallow or other fats and soaking my hands in a just warm, or even cool but liquid, form of that... and cotton or silk gloves? These medic gloves just... too hot, not breathing, not so good. After dishes tonight, I won't be washing or cooking for about three days. I can work on them in various ways. Oh, and cooler shower for both feet and hands, for a while... along with no more drying harsh soap. Bleh.
Ah, right, fasting blood sugar was 146 and one hour after eating and the current blood sugar is... 220? No, something is off. Either the other supper was somehow far too high, because all of my foods are time tested and low glycemic... or the olive oil and glove treatment is throwing things. I'll wash my hand thoroughly and retest in 15. Though... I suppose... it could be. If so, quite disappointing. I'll... have to change some plans if it reads the same.
Well... a bit of a break, digesting dinner. Then dishes, laundry, and a shower. These will be the last dishes, of all, for a while. Nice. So very nice. I'll update blood sugar in about 15 minutes on this post. Otherwise later.
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Yeah... blood sugar is 211, meaning it really did spike. I'll have to... test some things. I'll check in an hour to see how quickly it drops. Glad I did a pre-meal test or I'd be wondering if it was a spike of no known origin. Definitely the food. Either brought in dinner part or greek yogurt creme fraiche after some aging, but I don't think the latter. It wasn't a problem before, but maybe aging does something. I didn't have that much of the other dinner, perhaps the corn chips? I've had those before too, if perhaps not this brand, with no trouble. Hmm... I'll do another test in an hour, posting results here. At least I'll know if it drops quickly.
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That's just crazy. Two hours after dinner blood sugar spiked more, to 246. I can't eat food unless I know what is in it now. I just can't. I'm going to take a nap... or just go to bed for the night.
Oh, well, work.
.
.
I do believe I am done with actual work for the day. Dishes, dishes, and more dishes. Every time I turned around there were more dishes. On top of small appliances which needed cleaning. And more dishes. Plus getting more trash set aside, then that out, then a new trash bag in. And more dishes. A cup of beef broth heated, needed some water, salt, and pepper, and a bit of cream. Then more dishes. Gah! The broth is good enough for me, easily, with or without cream.
Blood sugar is 133. I want to see if the stock and cream will bounce it or not. I'll check in an half hour to hour. About the time I make a few phone calls. Yeah.
While far from sparkling, much to do just in the kitchen, and triple that in probably every other room, plus repairs and upkeep that need to happen and... I'll never get there. It's just that, while I can, I will keep going. Even when I can't, I won't give up. I'll just wait until, once again, I can hit it.
No outings today, save maybe the post, after the first call. My feet are blowing up. Just been up and on them too long. Yes, I have taken medication. And, actually, I have been drinking a lot less. It's just that I really need to lay down more often. If I can push my days around that might be more possible. Perhaps just reclining to read. They are in very rough shape... simply up too long, and on them a great deal of that time.
Still, I'm not going to complain. With as much as is going my way, as much as I am getting at, and to completion on many things, it's a price I can pay. Taking more water pill simply won't help. If I get things under control, diabetes, blood pressure, food and fasting, and a few other things, I do believe the flooding in the feet will end, or be greatly curtailed. For now I simply have to grin, bear, and manage it in whatever other ways possible.
Later.
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Blood sugar, an hour after consumption, is 150. Not sure if that is due to the stock. Cream doesn't usually do anything. I have a sense that stock does, but for the rise, it offers a better lowering later on. Not sure if I will be awake in two or three hours. If so I would sorely like to test the notion.
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I did make it to the post office. Far more packages than I was expecting. All good, I suppose. I made one of the various calls. No lamb head. It's gone when they get it? I may have to buy a whole lamb sometime and do it myself. It's a lot trickier without walk-in freezers and all. Still, it is how they did it for all of man's history back to before they raised animals... if they could trap a creature. Ah, and blood sugar is down to 135. The bump was temporary. I'll be awake for a bit longer, but this is it, for now, for posting. Good day and good night.
.
I do believe I am done with actual work for the day. Dishes, dishes, and more dishes. Every time I turned around there were more dishes. On top of small appliances which needed cleaning. And more dishes. Plus getting more trash set aside, then that out, then a new trash bag in. And more dishes. A cup of beef broth heated, needed some water, salt, and pepper, and a bit of cream. Then more dishes. Gah! The broth is good enough for me, easily, with or without cream.
Blood sugar is 133. I want to see if the stock and cream will bounce it or not. I'll check in an half hour to hour. About the time I make a few phone calls. Yeah.
While far from sparkling, much to do just in the kitchen, and triple that in probably every other room, plus repairs and upkeep that need to happen and... I'll never get there. It's just that, while I can, I will keep going. Even when I can't, I won't give up. I'll just wait until, once again, I can hit it.
No outings today, save maybe the post, after the first call. My feet are blowing up. Just been up and on them too long. Yes, I have taken medication. And, actually, I have been drinking a lot less. It's just that I really need to lay down more often. If I can push my days around that might be more possible. Perhaps just reclining to read. They are in very rough shape... simply up too long, and on them a great deal of that time.
Still, I'm not going to complain. With as much as is going my way, as much as I am getting at, and to completion on many things, it's a price I can pay. Taking more water pill simply won't help. If I get things under control, diabetes, blood pressure, food and fasting, and a few other things, I do believe the flooding in the feet will end, or be greatly curtailed. For now I simply have to grin, bear, and manage it in whatever other ways possible.
Later.
-------
Blood sugar, an hour after consumption, is 150. Not sure if that is due to the stock. Cream doesn't usually do anything. I have a sense that stock does, but for the rise, it offers a better lowering later on. Not sure if I will be awake in two or three hours. If so I would sorely like to test the notion.
-------
I did make it to the post office. Far more packages than I was expecting. All good, I suppose. I made one of the various calls. No lamb head. It's gone when they get it? I may have to buy a whole lamb sometime and do it myself. It's a lot trickier without walk-in freezers and all. Still, it is how they did it for all of man's history back to before they raised animals... if they could trap a creature. Ah, and blood sugar is down to 135. The bump was temporary. I'll be awake for a bit longer, but this is it, for now, for posting. Good day and good night.
Cleaning leads to more cleaning.
.
.
I thought I could just wash the counters. And, well, sure. In the process, everything on the counters has to be inspected. I thought I could ignore(tm). Nope. The coffee pot? In for a wash, coffee grinder too. The knife block? Yeah, no, in to be washed. This and that and the other thing. All good, just making a note and giving caution to others who may seek to do with an ignore(tm) device. It may not work.
Still, I got half the table and two thirds of the counter space washed. I have limits on where to put things, and the dish rack is full so I couldn't get that area. There are some limits to what I can do at any given time. I also cleaned the stove well. I am waxing the surface now. Taking that off is quite easy. You would, perhaps, be amazed at how many intricate, fine, little details slow things down. How much more there is to it all than it seems. And, yet, bit by bit, it is getting done.
No laundry tonight. I simply ran out of time. Tomorrow, I have to get to it tomorrow. Though, really, I am doing rather well. I may wash those items I put in to be cleaned, removed the wax on the stove first, then put everything back in it's place. While I won't do the open shelves this time, they are on the list. It is amazing how much grease builds up. I would still like to have a vent to the outside, though... even that is a bit dangerous as grease will build up in there. Easier to strip wash the kitchen and everything in it or change the piping every few years... or clean that somehow? I just don't know. Though a filter, kept changed regularly, might work? I'd love to find a system that does take away the grease and steam safely.
I would love a nap. Not sure I have the time though. If I could keep it to a nap, but yesterday was a fail in that regard. Bleh. And I do have things to do. At least a minor trip, maybe two... a phone call or three... and... Hmm... might hit some laundry anyway. Small loads, I just... small loads work best when I am already pushing things. Later.
.
I thought I could just wash the counters. And, well, sure. In the process, everything on the counters has to be inspected. I thought I could ignore(tm). Nope. The coffee pot? In for a wash, coffee grinder too. The knife block? Yeah, no, in to be washed. This and that and the other thing. All good, just making a note and giving caution to others who may seek to do with an ignore(tm) device. It may not work.
Still, I got half the table and two thirds of the counter space washed. I have limits on where to put things, and the dish rack is full so I couldn't get that area. There are some limits to what I can do at any given time. I also cleaned the stove well. I am waxing the surface now. Taking that off is quite easy. You would, perhaps, be amazed at how many intricate, fine, little details slow things down. How much more there is to it all than it seems. And, yet, bit by bit, it is getting done.
No laundry tonight. I simply ran out of time. Tomorrow, I have to get to it tomorrow. Though, really, I am doing rather well. I may wash those items I put in to be cleaned, removed the wax on the stove first, then put everything back in it's place. While I won't do the open shelves this time, they are on the list. It is amazing how much grease builds up. I would still like to have a vent to the outside, though... even that is a bit dangerous as grease will build up in there. Easier to strip wash the kitchen and everything in it or change the piping every few years... or clean that somehow? I just don't know. Though a filter, kept changed regularly, might work? I'd love to find a system that does take away the grease and steam safely.
I would love a nap. Not sure I have the time though. If I could keep it to a nap, but yesterday was a fail in that regard. Bleh. And I do have things to do. At least a minor trip, maybe two... a phone call or three... and... Hmm... might hit some laundry anyway. Small loads, I just... small loads work best when I am already pushing things. Later.
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