Not feeling well.

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Not sure what the problem is.  Too warm?  A bit, but not feverish.  A bit green about the gills, as they say.  Not having nausea, just an uneasiness that lightly resembles that.  Weak, as in muscular incapacity.  A bit foggy of mind.  Nothing serious, just... especially as a collection... a bit off.

I'm not sure what to do about it.  Had hoped to get some work done today.  Nothing was done.  I didn't cook, either.  Coffee, fatted... and some meat sticks.  Not much, but I'm not all that interested in eating.  Would eat, if I could get to it?  Maybe.  Yes, something for dinner would be good.  Or lunch.  I don't think it will happen.

Up, at about the right time.

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I started goofing with my other 'toon.  I couldn't remember where I left off, still am not absolutely sure.  As well, hadn't really settled on a good build.  Was doing simple melee, while being set up more for arcane and dex, so... had to level some weapons, and obtain one?  No, I think I had them.  I just needed to level a few.

I didn't think the thing would be playable.  To be honest.  What you see on youtube is rarely legit.  Between using computers, and thus often mods, or other systems or fixes, or even different games which look like the original but are easier?  Or tricks that aren't explained?  Can't be sure, but probably a mix of those things, you can't trust anything on youtube.  Well, and everything that works, From (the developer/devs/whatever) breaks.  They don't want you to get through.

Ugh.

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The last boss.  I don't want to fight him.  Pretty sure it will mean many deaths.  I know it will.  There isn't a way to win that is good, easy, or... maybe it isn't even possible.  They cheat until they don't.

Don't believe me?  And, this player is far better than I am.  He is using melee, while I use ranged.  But as fast as this boss moves in, and gets out of range?  Very slim chances for a mage.  As a fact, mages may not be able to beat this boss.  Not on consoles.

Acrophobic much?

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Oh, aye.  The world spins, nausea, sweats, some other things.  Just... looking over the edge a mere two stories down will cause symptoms.  Though, the higher the worse.  Good, then... just do this and shut up.

Down very late, up very late.

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But, I have things to do.  So... I am going to have to push and shove.  Crunch the numbers, get things going.  Brushed my teeth, got Sassy fresh water, and food, then cleaned the litter boxes.  Prepping for a shower, but that is enough fuss for first thing.  So... tea is steeping, and I'll knock out a post.

I called, checking on auto detailing.  They go from $35 for a minor clean and clear to $100 for that lower tier.  On up to $400 for an everything from engine compartment to steam cleaning, to... everything.  The brand new rebirth package.  Not sure I could do the $400.  But, can do a tier below, possibly.  I'll get more details when I get in.  But that, not for a month or two.  Yeah, that's a lot of bread, buddy, but... can be worth it.  Then, once a year for five years, do the minor detailing.  But, keep it up, so the major cost isn't recurring.  But when you fall behind, yeah.

Wow.

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It worked!  The painpills did their job.  Now, I can tell, it's merely covering up the pain.  If you have ever taken heavier stuff, and I have for... various situations... that... fake feeling of calm?  I can tell the pain is still there.  But, that it has been relieved, at least for a bit, is good.

That sense of living a fake life, the reason I don't take heavier stuff, also makes doing much difficult.  It's a bit of a trap.  Which is why, even when my ribs were cracked, I didn't take painpills.  Or for long.  I did take three, over about a week.  But they had me set up to take a couple dozen, with refills.  I... don't like that artificial feeling.  I think, besides the painlessness, that is part of what some people are after.  It helps them pretend they aren't who they are.  I... like being who I am, even when I fail.  Even when I hurt.

So... it will do what it does.  But I won't take more for a week or two.  Even if the pain continues.  I get a bit of a reprieve, from time to time.  But that is it.  And, I think that is fair enough.  Without pain, I would just be numb.  I want to be alive, and will, mostly, usually, gladly suffer for it.  It hit so fast, and so hard, today, that I... sought refuge.  And, it seems, for a bit, found it.

What a beautiful day though, in spite of all.  I noticed earlier, whether I mentioned or not.  Even when hurting, a pretty day is a welcome thing.  The sun, mostly, seems to be back out.  Definitely a fall sun.  But I love each season.  They help me remember... things... life... the past.  And contemplate the future.

I'll game a bit more, for a bit.  Then try to get trash and recycling, as needed, collected and at least out.  Then a shower.  Maybe some work on boxes?  And a few prayers here or there.  If you get to church, say a prayer for me... as in, in my stead.  If not, say a prayer for me where you are.  Or, just pray for me, if you think that is required.  :p  I don't mind which way you go with it, it... isn't actually about me.  Funny how that works.  Amen, and good morning and day.

Ah, one bit more.  I went to solve the rubik's cube the other day.  Couldn't.  Forgot how.  So... I went looking for the video, that actually helped.  I couldn't find it.  I looked and looked, on my blog, and at y.t.  It just didn't seem to be there.  Most y.t. rubik's cube help videos don't.  Either missing steps, or just plain wrong.  I think that is how it is meant.

Finally, today, on a search, using several different spellings and clarifications, I found it.  And, after working it a bit, I got it.  Not... that I will remember, tomorrow, how to do it.  But, for today, it is together.  So... I will post the video, here, again.  And do a few other things which should make finding it much easier in the future.  Assuming it doesn't get pulled for whatever reason.

Hmm, now on to Doom.  I'm getting through it, slowly.

Now get off my porch!

Very suspicious.

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It is looking more and more like my suspicions regarding Elden Ring are true.

Much of the advice, on youtube, was created before the game was released.  However, some to many of the quests involved with those videos... weren't able to be completed until AFTER patch 1.03.  It looks like the people who have created much of the youtube content were given both early access, probably access to the devs who showed them how to "cheat" (if many of those cheats have been patched), and/or were given an easier version of the game.

The problem I am finding is, for keying, on the controller, with a ps4, there is often too much lag.  Even when fighting a single boss.  There shouldn't be any lag, save that it is created to develop some sort of... what... rpg element, in which each party gets just so many inputs per moment.  And, either they slow the game down, so there is some chance of the a.i. not completely rolling reals (which is easy enough to do), or there is just a lot of background things going on, that the ps4 simply can't handle.

But, on the ps4, it means beating some bosses may not be possible on every game.  Though, too, I have suspicion that devs are thin-skinned enough to go after people who complain.  Legitimately or not.  Yeah, they... really can.  Following a post, like this, to the address, is child's play for a big enough company.  And, souring the updates is likewise child's play.  Making it impossible for some players to continue.  And, it doesn't have to be based on negative reviews.  At this point, being against the clot-shot, to knowing the acting president... or his handlers really... stole the election... would be types of things which would act against one.  It's... all politics.

Anyway.  It looks like it is best to erase this game.  It is unbeatable.  I have tried as many ways as possible.  Further?  Things I had, in game, are disappearing.  Spells, and items, I have had to go get several times.  Either the game is a flop, doesn't work on ps4, or as mentioned, there are... political point problems.  This isn't me just giving up, it is me realizing that the game is rigged, or broken, and isn't worth extra effort.  Too bad, it was fun until it became broken, mostly.

Well, a start.

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A bit of a rest, after the shower and laundry.  Then, dishes in.  I wasn't able to get all of them, even all that had been soaking.  I rearranged things, for a better process.  Though most of them are going.  They don't need to be scrubbed, just... a soapy soak, rinse, and then dried.  A bit of a wash, but just... to do it, get old soapy residue off.  That, and washing the freezer top, so as to get that pressed into action for a drying center.

The goal is two loads of laundry, the freezer top cleaned, this first batch washed and set to a hot rinse, then dried.  One more load... say two dishpans or so, of bigger items, put to a fresh soak, those washed yet today.  Then one more soapy soak if needed.  And, either finished today, or first thing in the morning.  But, either way, another shower tomorrow.

Brushing my teeth this afternoon.  My homemade mouthwash really does keep the mouth clean, even with serious abuse as has happened lately.  When your dentist tells you that enamel can't repair itself, but that yours did, while insisting it isn't possible?  Right?  You know you are doing something right and they are doing something wrong.  Amen.  

Living and loving it, in Sodom, has it's drawbacks.  Sodom, or Babylon.  I'm... not absolutely sure which was worse?  They all go along to get along, and never look the gift horses in the mouth.  Really, some gift horses need to be checked, thoroughly.  I doubt everything, and try different things, rather than just lamenting the evil of the world.  It... often... actually does work.  Can.  Better than floating along, like a dead fish.  Even if I 'are' one.  :p

Anyway.  A good start, reasonable plans.  Back to gaming, for a bit.  I did buy a few things, but much of it is groceries, and a new pan.  A pan, actually, only for deep frying and for spices.  A deep-dish cast iron doohickey.  May end up getting a smaller one though, tried a 12 incher.  Might be... too big.  Still, I'll... find use for it.  Oh, and lodge does make lids for their pans!  I'll be getting a lid for that and the smaller ones, too.  Nice.  I... love my cast, if I'm beginning to love my carbon steel pans.  It just... took a bit of work with them.  Breaking in, much as cast, but easier... with real fats, like lard and tallow.

Still, kept my order small, and mostly just foods... like fennel seed, and protein powder.  My chocolate type went from $47 to $41 to $50, so I dropped it.  Just got my base type, non-veggie.  I probably won't by vegetarian again, after I finish it.  First, it doesn't mix or taste as good, second, it has soy.  If the taste is rather gritty too.  Just... not fun.  More calories even.  Still, I was curious.  I'll use it up.  But, now I know.

No more spending, on anything, until I see how finances are.  I still have two bills, I'll try to sort out this week.  And those go without saying.  But... no other type of spending.  The goal is to begin putting money into savings.  But I have to be sure there is money to put in.  No use putting money away only to have to immediately pull it back out.  The hope was to have the ~$500 from the auto, payments and insurance, get tucked into savings or extra house payment.  Was living pretty tight, though, so not... sure.  Still sorting finances, as I go.  Ugh.

I did get one card partly paid.  The rest are paid off, and will stay that way for a bit.  Though, this one... I want to use it for amazon, and pay it off every other month.  Use it only for that, paying it off every other month.  Just a... thing.  Always lose, but losing, financially, is the way to "get ahead" these days.  Avoiding most of it, without completely ditching the system?  Something like that.

Well.  On with the gaming.  Enjoying a fatted coffee while at it.  Later.

The game is unbeatable.

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The last two bosses are broken.  I have tried to beat them a dozen ways.  Respec'ing four or five times, trying different combinations of spells, weapons, defenses, and adds I can call.  I have been able to, if rarely, beat the first halves.  And I found a cheese for one of the bosses' first halves which makes it automatic.  But, after that, nothing.

I have tried the most potent skills and abilities for several forms.  The only ones I haven't tried wasn't for lack of will, but some of the items, for those classes, are locked by missing fights, bosses, or areas through not knowing going somewhere, or doing something, would close off access.

So... I'll look around for a few more things to finish up, then close up the game.  There is no way to get through.  My guess is, they track people back to their ip address, and if you aren't politically correct, or if you complain, they will make it impossible for you to win.  The game is outright cheating, my patch version of it is.  If it was just one of the side bosses, I guess.  But when it kills the game, yeah, no.

I guess that is the type of world we live in, at this point.  SJWs have to cheat, for they cannot win in any honest, truthful, or good way.  And, they run a lot of these programs.  Or, have enough access to control things they shouldn't.  Companies had best purge certain types, or they will lose it all.  At this time, I can't recommend Elden Ring.  It is either broken, or corrupted.

I try to keep it offline, but there are things I need to get online for... with that system.  And, yes, that is how they get in and break it.  I have noticed gaming is easier when not online.  Which tells me they are actively involved with players, or at least it causes greater lag, which makes anything from swinging weapons, casting spells, or drinking potions take longer... or even preventing them from happening at all.  Though, now, I think, with certain bosses, I have found that the boss seems to be able to prevent actions on the part of the player.  That has to be programmed in.

Well, so be it.  A waste of money, but... what can you do but try.  Later.

Took a while.

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Did I mention I fear heights?  Right.

So... what does Doom do, when... having fun?

Right.

Not bad.

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Not going fast.  But going.

Dishes, in stages, are being done.  I am down to my last batch.  The others, over time, have been washed, rinsed, dried, and some put away.  This last batch was from recently and my last addition.  Plus, it was a bit greasier.  And a few other things done, here and there.

As well, I received the paper I needed printed.  I'll fill it out, and figure out where to get it faxed, tomorrow.  But, this part, the more complicated part, is done.  When he delivered it, I offered him some of the soup I made.  Handmade.  All of it.  From scratch.  I hadn't done much with the ground pork meatballs, save browned them.  So they were a bit bland.  Yes, I get that.

I need to obtain fennel, and a few other spices... thyme, rosemary, and a few others, and practice making a spice blend I would like for these.  Sesame seeds?  Perhaps, if pan fried, dry, just a bit.  But the rest of the soup was good, very good.  He asked what the base was.  Just remnants from the corned beef and cabbage, with mirepoix.  But, fresh, from just yesterday.  And refrigerated overnight.

I wouldn't give many my special soups.  But... he could have some.

He keeps going on about his shiny new spoon.  I said there is something that happens, when you find her.  Bonding.  It's a strange thing.  But... you begin to see not just her, but only her.  Strange things happen.  Choices, decisions, openings.  They will have to have a few fights.  To... see some things.  The shit tests... throw it against the wall, see what sticks.  It's... gotta happen.  And it could end things.  They are having to good part, they will soon have to have the bad part.  Best to... see how that goes before there is no... options.

I half am jealous, half am not.  Pleased, to see the process.  There are people who shouldn't.  People who only do it as an incident.  And people I believe are right for it.  He is right for it.  I am hoping she is too.  You can't win, this game.  But you can play it right, straight.  It's not about you, any of it.  But you may have a magical part in it.

I may be done with Elden Ring.  I have about leveled as much as I can, where I am.  Every way through to the better leveling area is blocked by bosses my 'toon simply doesn't have a way of beating.  I have, as mentioned, leveled to the reasonable and more level possible... advanced my gear as far as I can... found the extra bits of gear which increase power and such.  It just isn't working.

It isn't even that it's difficult.  It's not even close.  Too much is required too quickly.  I even jacked my various stats so as to not be a one-shot glass cannon.  I have tried this method, and that.  These adds and those, tricks, hacks, and more.  The game is simply beyond my capacity.  So, I'll go back to a game that I can finish, have finished, but am on a second run through.  And... enjoy.  It's not fun to have to work this hard for failure.

Oh, people, sleep is so good.

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Waking around 01:00 yesterday.  Then doing this, that, and the other thing, plus staying up until 20:00, I went down like a felled cedar.  Some of my kin, it was said, were as tall as those.  So I suppose it is fitting.  Felled indeed.

I slept until around 04:00, if I didn't actually get out until 04:34.  Fine, I wasn't in a hurry.  Dressed, warmly, if more homebound style, first thing.  I had fatted coffee remaining from last night, and unusual leave.  Still, it was a grateful find.  I think I set the water to heating, for breakfast.  If I have been goofing since waking, and will need to heat it back up again.