.
.
I woke, at some time or other. I think 20:30. No idea when I went down. I didn't set the alarm because... it doesn't make sense. If I need sleep, and can take it, I will. Usually I am waking in four hours. *snap~awake!* So, I just have to let it be. I was feeling good enough. Hungry. Thirsty... for coffee. Bleh. I ran out of milk and cream, so was using dehydrated, since I have used my supply of canned milk. Note to self - buy canned milk the next time you get to town. That dehydrated stuff is pretty wretched in coffee. It's not bad on it's own, even better when mixed than cooled (mixes easier with warmer/hot water). And it is a ton better tasting than most other brands and types of powdered milk I have tried. But, all in all, only for cool drinking, and cooking/baking. It's just not a good coffee thing. The bitter of both seems to increase too greatly, and it increases the acidity in coffee. Normally I can handle the acidity in the coffees I like, but not with this stuff in it. Double bleh.
So... Before I could think about it, and actually probably because of that, I got a shower, dressed, and was heading to town before I realized what was happening. Actually, I spent a bit of time waking after the shower. But I did shower right away. Then gamed for a bit to try to get my brain bits sorted. I wanted to be in to hit my preferred grocery store. It closes between 23:00 and midnight, perhaps different times by which day... open later on the weekends? Never sure, and they were recently bought out, again, so... But the clock was ticking. I left in time to do my shopping and get out, by 23:00, I believed. And, so it went. Then a trip to McDonald. It's all that is open, I needed food, it's inexpensive enough, and I get enough calories to actually do something. When you weigh 300, and it isn't all fat, you gotta feed the machine or it won't run.
Actually, I have had a young woman take my order at McD try to suggest that I was eating to much. I explained, that at my weight, I should be eating between 3600 and 4200 calories per day. I asked her to think about this. If she took a backpack, and loaded it with whatever weight necessary to make her weight plus the pack total 300 pounds, then walk around... forever. Now, I asked her, did she think she would need to eat a bit more. Well? Now, you think about that. I burn the same number of calories from my mass as you would if you did such. When I lift my arms I am lifting a good solid 30 to 40 pounds. Both arms up and I am lifting half a man, all of a pixie, or the less curvy parts of a standard woman. :p I need calories. Protein, then fat, are my primary dietary needs. Carbs are the last in line. Meat, meat, meat, potato, meat, meat, vegetable. *cough* I rattled the story off so fast she went to think about it and vapor locked. Cute though. I'm not a dumb giant.
Oh, but it was nice to see women out tonight. I don't know why, but I had the most pleasant of time with the womenfolk I met. At the store, both workers and shoppers, and at the 'staurant. Nothing fancy, just... *big eyes and smiles* "Hi!" Well... hello back! :) Love me some dame interaction. I might be harsh and all, but I love teh fluffy udder people. :) Young, old, pretty, ugly. Look, a smile, maybe a blush, even coquettishness if not too brazen or uncomely, and I'm a happy man. I don't even mind a bit o' peevishness if I am seen to have done something mildly unforgivable to the woman mind. Crossed arms and a bit of a facial set in mild annoyance is all good. More so when I know what I did, enjoyed it, and would probably do it again. Actually, if I get that reaction, I know exactly what to do every third or fourth time. I get attention, too. Gee I like that. I just wish I understood why.
Back to gaming, though I think I will set fresh coffee going, and maybe use the dregs for a fresher cup while I wait. I hate to waste, but I can't stomach the coffee sitting there, with dehydrated milk creamer. I'll dump that and start life over, the right way. I have meats thawed, and when I get to it, will start up the grill and do some of that, tonight or tomorrow. Life can be so good when you can just get it done without having to crawl, or fight, or push, or... do all that and still not get it all done. I'll take it. And a few smiles, blushes, salutations, and other feminine attention was quite a splendid add. Later.
Thursday, September 11, 2014
Wednesday, September 10, 2014
I honestly can't believe how beat I am, and have been.
.
.
Oh, I've gotten some things done this summer. Far fewer than I had hoped. Sometimes I just pushed through, other times I breezed through. Overall, though, I've been getting my ass handed to me. I've been down a lot. On the good side, I realize to my satisfaction, that it hasn't been laziness. And, even when down, I haven't just stopped. These have been some of my best down times. Sure, there is a general disassociation with the outside world, fairly strongly. But inside, which is sometimes all I have, wasn't also empty, void, quiet. Plus, I keep trying. I don't think I have just sat back, on the inside. What's the difference between a sleeping turtle and an awake turtle? A lot, actually.
I'll keep working at it. I do fear fall and winter a bit more than usual. Then again, this summer was much cooler. More clouds, more rain days, it added up. I am fragile to change, it seems, and the cool more than heat, up to a point. We'll see. I would really like to try out the snowshoes. Sure, a lot of work. But if you can get the hang of it? It's... still a lot of work. However, the snowshoes aren't just for their own use. There is an end to them. I have dreamed of camping up there, in the mountains, in the winter. Might only do it once, or maybe even for a season. But I have to do that, if I live long enough to get it all together. I still want a solid four season tent. I believe I have the rest of the gear. I just need to learn to use snowshoes, at least. Well, and where to camp more safely, avoiding avalanche lanes and such, as much as possible. The gig is not to die out there. And it isn't about risk. It is merely to, for several nights, look out over the scenes before I sleep.
Yeah, but... We'll see. I do have to do it alone, for a number of reasons. Though it wouldn't be horrible to have camping neighbors not too far away. Just dreaming, for now, but... Nap time. I think I've been up all night? I can't honestly remember. I know I took a "nap" yesterday early to mid afternoon. Hmm... My naps have been my sleep. Two four hour stretches, with somewhat longish wake times. Just odd... Anyway, on to a nap. Perhaps I can get out this afternoon. I'll check to see if I have taken my medicine, and do so if not. I've actually been doing alright with those, somehow. Yeah, later.
.
Oh, I've gotten some things done this summer. Far fewer than I had hoped. Sometimes I just pushed through, other times I breezed through. Overall, though, I've been getting my ass handed to me. I've been down a lot. On the good side, I realize to my satisfaction, that it hasn't been laziness. And, even when down, I haven't just stopped. These have been some of my best down times. Sure, there is a general disassociation with the outside world, fairly strongly. But inside, which is sometimes all I have, wasn't also empty, void, quiet. Plus, I keep trying. I don't think I have just sat back, on the inside. What's the difference between a sleeping turtle and an awake turtle? A lot, actually.
I'll keep working at it. I do fear fall and winter a bit more than usual. Then again, this summer was much cooler. More clouds, more rain days, it added up. I am fragile to change, it seems, and the cool more than heat, up to a point. We'll see. I would really like to try out the snowshoes. Sure, a lot of work. But if you can get the hang of it? It's... still a lot of work. However, the snowshoes aren't just for their own use. There is an end to them. I have dreamed of camping up there, in the mountains, in the winter. Might only do it once, or maybe even for a season. But I have to do that, if I live long enough to get it all together. I still want a solid four season tent. I believe I have the rest of the gear. I just need to learn to use snowshoes, at least. Well, and where to camp more safely, avoiding avalanche lanes and such, as much as possible. The gig is not to die out there. And it isn't about risk. It is merely to, for several nights, look out over the scenes before I sleep.
Yeah, but... We'll see. I do have to do it alone, for a number of reasons. Though it wouldn't be horrible to have camping neighbors not too far away. Just dreaming, for now, but... Nap time. I think I've been up all night? I can't honestly remember. I know I took a "nap" yesterday early to mid afternoon. Hmm... My naps have been my sleep. Two four hour stretches, with somewhat longish wake times. Just odd... Anyway, on to a nap. Perhaps I can get out this afternoon. I'll check to see if I have taken my medicine, and do so if not. I've actually been doing alright with those, somehow. Yeah, later.
Tuesday, September 9, 2014
I'm still not dead.
.
.
To the world, in ways, at times, of course. At least I can speak. A few visitors visited tonight. One I had seen most recently. She was giving a presentation so did not recognize me. She was impressed that I remembered her, even where she was from... something she had offered during her presentation. I was a bit surprised. She is pretty, but that wasn't what allowed me to remember. I expect women to be attractive. No, it was that she had a strong and good sense of herself. It isn't strong women I dislike, it is women who try to be men that I dislike. She was not that. Satisfied in her sex and comfortable in her skin. And well spoken. Yes, yes, I do judge, and harshly. If I give you a good grade, be thankful. Not to me, to those you chose to abide in your training for life, education, and such. And, maybe, have a little pride that you could, chose, and did accept right teachings. Could, chose, and accepted all have to come together, no one will work alone or in two-sets.
Arrangements have been made for another visit. I had it written down, couldn't find my cellphone. Found my cellphone, now I have to find the writing. Teh Bother! I best do that before I forget. Huh? Never mind. Ahha! There it is. I'll do it right now. Almost messed up. The 7th, the 17th, the 27th... or while we are at it, July, September, January... what's the difference! Never mind that, either. Some people are sooooooo picky! :p While speaking of late, early, or otherwise inconvenienced by time and it's dictates, I need to get my mother her birthday card. She is a patient woman, so her doctor says? Actually, I think that IS all the same, save when you get to plural and another form... patients versus patience. That you ought to mind. Just saying.
I am doing well. I'm just not doing much. I am sure there is a plan, simply no one has told me and if it's my turn, I haven't played yet. It's good, just not functioning. The game is going well, but I am not sure where to go, and the places I think I want to go I can't find. Which, actually, is why I am sitting in front of the machine. Why, then, am I blogging? I don't know, it's a real question, to you the reader! Don't even look at me that way, Lucy. Just answer the question, and, yes... I can handle the truff! Well, what of it I will allow as a truff. When I can handle it, mostly. That's probably why time and date stamps don't work with me. They get in the way of me getting out of the way? Yup! Told you I could handle the truff. :)
Well... on to... figuring out what I was here to figure out. Do have a fine evening, good night, and maybe just a touch of teh goofy. It's good, once in a while. Later.
.
To the world, in ways, at times, of course. At least I can speak. A few visitors visited tonight. One I had seen most recently. She was giving a presentation so did not recognize me. She was impressed that I remembered her, even where she was from... something she had offered during her presentation. I was a bit surprised. She is pretty, but that wasn't what allowed me to remember. I expect women to be attractive. No, it was that she had a strong and good sense of herself. It isn't strong women I dislike, it is women who try to be men that I dislike. She was not that. Satisfied in her sex and comfortable in her skin. And well spoken. Yes, yes, I do judge, and harshly. If I give you a good grade, be thankful. Not to me, to those you chose to abide in your training for life, education, and such. And, maybe, have a little pride that you could, chose, and did accept right teachings. Could, chose, and accepted all have to come together, no one will work alone or in two-sets.
Arrangements have been made for another visit. I had it written down, couldn't find my cellphone. Found my cellphone, now I have to find the writing. Teh Bother! I best do that before I forget. Huh? Never mind. Ahha! There it is. I'll do it right now. Almost messed up. The 7th, the 17th, the 27th... or while we are at it, July, September, January... what's the difference! Never mind that, either. Some people are sooooooo picky! :p While speaking of late, early, or otherwise inconvenienced by time and it's dictates, I need to get my mother her birthday card. She is a patient woman, so her doctor says? Actually, I think that IS all the same, save when you get to plural and another form... patients versus patience. That you ought to mind. Just saying.
I am doing well. I'm just not doing much. I am sure there is a plan, simply no one has told me and if it's my turn, I haven't played yet. It's good, just not functioning. The game is going well, but I am not sure where to go, and the places I think I want to go I can't find. Which, actually, is why I am sitting in front of the machine. Why, then, am I blogging? I don't know, it's a real question, to you the reader! Don't even look at me that way, Lucy. Just answer the question, and, yes... I can handle the truff! Well, what of it I will allow as a truff. When I can handle it, mostly. That's probably why time and date stamps don't work with me. They get in the way of me getting out of the way? Yup! Told you I could handle the truff. :)
Well... on to... figuring out what I was here to figure out. Do have a fine evening, good night, and maybe just a touch of teh goofy. It's good, once in a while. Later.
Beastly nap.
.
.
I set the alarm for a two hour nap, yesterday. The nap happened like a bomb. I slept so solidly, so completely, and yet dreamed in there wall to wall. The rest was good, just odd, and right through the alarm. I slept for four hours, hard. I went down at around 12:30, setting the alarm for 15:00. Usually I wake up before the alarm, in an hour and an half, maybe two. Even if I'm not doing much, my body just isn't into sleep.
I was at a point in the game where it was exceedingly difficult. The most difficult "boss" in the game, because there were two bosses. I dragged my feet about doing that fight. I just wasn't sure I was up to it. Gamewise, sure, when I am at peak. But I wasn't even close to peak. However, when I can't do the hard things, I can often do the nitty and picky stuff. And, so, I did. I leveled, farmed, ranched, did some more leveling, farmed some more for this or that, and, finally, I hit it this morning. Done. I may have overdone the extra work, but I wasn't ready for what looked like a very long fight. Even when I did go in, I wasn't sure I was ready. Enough deaths told me... actually, that I was ready. Huh? Well, it's a matter of how you die, and how long you survive, plus what you learn. This game is... well... you will die. Frequently. If you get one shotted a few times, you know you aren't ready. If you last a while, going in blind, and without all the assets because of their costs... Then you... might be ready. Not only ready, but done! Now, on to more dying!
The game isn't as difficult as it seems, and yet is much harder than that. Taking your time, unless you can't. Moving in slow motion, but the monsters do too. Timing is crucial. The only way to learn it is to die enough. But you must live long enough, and be successful enough, to put what you learn into practice. It's almost more of a mind game, a game of nerves, than it is of... It is a good game. Although, through it's methods, I keep developing new curse forms. I was, indeed, a sailor.
I'm about to take another nap. I just want to find a place in the game where stopping seems reasonable. Later.
.
I set the alarm for a two hour nap, yesterday. The nap happened like a bomb. I slept so solidly, so completely, and yet dreamed in there wall to wall. The rest was good, just odd, and right through the alarm. I slept for four hours, hard. I went down at around 12:30, setting the alarm for 15:00. Usually I wake up before the alarm, in an hour and an half, maybe two. Even if I'm not doing much, my body just isn't into sleep.
I was at a point in the game where it was exceedingly difficult. The most difficult "boss" in the game, because there were two bosses. I dragged my feet about doing that fight. I just wasn't sure I was up to it. Gamewise, sure, when I am at peak. But I wasn't even close to peak. However, when I can't do the hard things, I can often do the nitty and picky stuff. And, so, I did. I leveled, farmed, ranched, did some more leveling, farmed some more for this or that, and, finally, I hit it this morning. Done. I may have overdone the extra work, but I wasn't ready for what looked like a very long fight. Even when I did go in, I wasn't sure I was ready. Enough deaths told me... actually, that I was ready. Huh? Well, it's a matter of how you die, and how long you survive, plus what you learn. This game is... well... you will die. Frequently. If you get one shotted a few times, you know you aren't ready. If you last a while, going in blind, and without all the assets because of their costs... Then you... might be ready. Not only ready, but done! Now, on to more dying!
The game isn't as difficult as it seems, and yet is much harder than that. Taking your time, unless you can't. Moving in slow motion, but the monsters do too. Timing is crucial. The only way to learn it is to die enough. But you must live long enough, and be successful enough, to put what you learn into practice. It's almost more of a mind game, a game of nerves, than it is of... It is a good game. Although, through it's methods, I keep developing new curse forms. I was, indeed, a sailor.
I'm about to take another nap. I just want to find a place in the game where stopping seems reasonable. Later.
Monday, September 8, 2014
Noon?
.
.
My how time flies with only, I think now, four hours of sleep. A nap isn't due, it is overdue. Medicine has been taken. I checked, and at first thought I missed a day. How was that possible with me, just recently, vowing to keep a close eye on it? At first I was baffled. Then I realized it. I merely took the medicine out of the Saturday instead of Sunday when starting on a new med-set. That disturbed me, there for a bit, while waking.
Not much else. Another shower, after a nap. Maybe to town much later, or earlier. Hard to tell, or plan, with this, that, and the other thing transpiring, scheduled, or in affect. A stop at the grocery store, though, beside business, I do have some shopping that requires business hours. I need to get to town, or need it even more. Yeah? Tell that to the chief engineer with a busted engine? Yes, something like that. It's too bad they can't just yank it and fix it. I'd even lay on cinder blocks for a while, if that was required. But I'd expect new rims and tires. :p
Nappy nap time. Later.
.
My how time flies with only, I think now, four hours of sleep. A nap isn't due, it is overdue. Medicine has been taken. I checked, and at first thought I missed a day. How was that possible with me, just recently, vowing to keep a close eye on it? At first I was baffled. Then I realized it. I merely took the medicine out of the Saturday instead of Sunday when starting on a new med-set. That disturbed me, there for a bit, while waking.
Not much else. Another shower, after a nap. Maybe to town much later, or earlier. Hard to tell, or plan, with this, that, and the other thing transpiring, scheduled, or in affect. A stop at the grocery store, though, beside business, I do have some shopping that requires business hours. I need to get to town, or need it even more. Yeah? Tell that to the chief engineer with a busted engine? Yes, something like that. It's too bad they can't just yank it and fix it. I'd even lay on cinder blocks for a while, if that was required. But I'd expect new rims and tires. :p
Nappy nap time. Later.
A bit of sleep.
.
.
Four or six hours, I can't be sure. Enough, for now, in my condition. All that I can get in any case. Perhaps a nap, later in the morning, in an attempt to keep the sun in my day. You have no idea of the complexity of the game I play, the foes I fight, or just how successful, in many ways, I am. I don't give proper credit myself, even knowing, usually. On this day, at this time, I am pleased. I am not in a coma-like state. Given the condition I am really in, that is impressive. I've 'slept' for months, even a year, in this condition. This is a new high for an old low.
.
Four or six hours, I can't be sure. Enough, for now, in my condition. All that I can get in any case. Perhaps a nap, later in the morning, in an attempt to keep the sun in my day. You have no idea of the complexity of the game I play, the foes I fight, or just how successful, in many ways, I am. I don't give proper credit myself, even knowing, usually. On this day, at this time, I am pleased. I am not in a coma-like state. Given the condition I am really in, that is impressive. I've 'slept' for months, even a year, in this condition. This is a new high for an old low.
Sunday, September 7, 2014
Not much.
.
.
A shower. Those are quite nice, more so when overdo. I've been keeping a closer eye on medicine, as well. That was slipping. Just a bit, and after everything else went south. But not today. And I stayed awake for dinner. Very small things. But of no small significance. When the mind shuts down, and the body isn't able, focusing to reach the world and do actual things is truly amazing.
I am pretty exhausted. I can't remember when I woke, but it was early dark. I remember having been awake for a while before watching the sun begin to peak through, I think... I think that was this morning. Then again, it might be a bit of a gimmick. One day, day, doesn't make daytime the regular. It is a day, one day, on schedule. I will take it. I have business that requires daytime operations. And I have to be in shape to operate in that time. A few days, perhaps, maybe more, but soon. A day trip to town. It is cooling off. While that unbalanced things, it will make getting out easier.
I have three or four projects finished, minus assembly in a few cases. I have one more major purchase, a solid grain grinder, and tidbits for it. Then I will begin laying up supplies for some of the home projects, the en suite in particular. Flooring materials, down to the subfloor, paint, a new vanity or some notions along those lines, a medicine chest... lighted or with some sort of lighting in there. I have the new toilet, I just need a sink and faucet. I might go just a tad fancy, but not gauche. Actually, I might use thick lumber of some sort, lacquered, attached to the wall, as a shelving vanity. I will have the supplies, for a number of jobs, if I can ever get to it. If not, the next owners can figure it out. Though, I suspect, over time, I will get it done before I die. I will have the supplies laid in anyway.
Oh, right... I want to discuss some options that might allow me more access this next time I visit my g.p. I need a little help getting going. I suspect she has simply been fibbing to me, but... we'll see. If that fails, I may have to cut my allowance and spend on a private doctor. Sometimes you just have to do it on your own. However, to get her on board, if that is possible, I will need to start tracking my stats. All of them. Sometimes, if you do them a square, they return the favor. Not always, but it does up the odds. Besides, I should be doing that anyway... for myself. Just not every day. That gets excessive and old? Yeah, but... even then, I probably ought to do it as a show of good faith, for my current, or future, doc.
Oh, right, bedtime. And it is actually evening! Good night.
.
A shower. Those are quite nice, more so when overdo. I've been keeping a closer eye on medicine, as well. That was slipping. Just a bit, and after everything else went south. But not today. And I stayed awake for dinner. Very small things. But of no small significance. When the mind shuts down, and the body isn't able, focusing to reach the world and do actual things is truly amazing.
I am pretty exhausted. I can't remember when I woke, but it was early dark. I remember having been awake for a while before watching the sun begin to peak through, I think... I think that was this morning. Then again, it might be a bit of a gimmick. One day, day, doesn't make daytime the regular. It is a day, one day, on schedule. I will take it. I have business that requires daytime operations. And I have to be in shape to operate in that time. A few days, perhaps, maybe more, but soon. A day trip to town. It is cooling off. While that unbalanced things, it will make getting out easier.
I have three or four projects finished, minus assembly in a few cases. I have one more major purchase, a solid grain grinder, and tidbits for it. Then I will begin laying up supplies for some of the home projects, the en suite in particular. Flooring materials, down to the subfloor, paint, a new vanity or some notions along those lines, a medicine chest... lighted or with some sort of lighting in there. I have the new toilet, I just need a sink and faucet. I might go just a tad fancy, but not gauche. Actually, I might use thick lumber of some sort, lacquered, attached to the wall, as a shelving vanity. I will have the supplies, for a number of jobs, if I can ever get to it. If not, the next owners can figure it out. Though, I suspect, over time, I will get it done before I die. I will have the supplies laid in anyway.
Oh, right... I want to discuss some options that might allow me more access this next time I visit my g.p. I need a little help getting going. I suspect she has simply been fibbing to me, but... we'll see. If that fails, I may have to cut my allowance and spend on a private doctor. Sometimes you just have to do it on your own. However, to get her on board, if that is possible, I will need to start tracking my stats. All of them. Sometimes, if you do them a square, they return the favor. Not always, but it does up the odds. Besides, I should be doing that anyway... for myself. Just not every day. That gets excessive and old? Yeah, but... even then, I probably ought to do it as a show of good faith, for my current, or future, doc.
Oh, right, bedtime. And it is actually evening! Good night.
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