.
.
Oh, I keep looking over tasks, or thinking about them. I just don't have enough going to do a thing about it. Even the game I am playing... well... I'm doing the highest difficulty level and it just isn't entertaining at the moment. So... back to watching that series I had started. A couple of those and it'll be time for bed. I will go back to trying to push my clock back. I guess time will tell with that.
I did try to call my mother. No go. She called the other day but I missed the call. I called mid-afternoon, so it should have been good. Who knows though. Perhaps they had their 4th thing today, or... who knows. I am happy to think she takes time off from her phone though. That thing can own people if they let it.
Good night.
Saturday, July 5, 2014
Okay, I must have been too busy.
.
.
I missed medicine yesterday. Ah well. It wasn't an extremely busy day, but... with the givens, it actually was. Stack on the rest of the week and it was quite a lot. Just pushing to get to things was part of the problem. For, even when I am doing nothing but sitting, if I am ruminating about getting to things, the focus can leave room for no other considerations. That must have been what happened. I don't remember forgetting. And, actually, sometimes I do. I don't always fix what I realize I forget, either because it isn't available, perhaps I remember while in town for example. Or, when I remember, I have nothing to drink to take the medications with and no immediate way to go get that. But, yesterday, I was so focused I must simply have not even had the fact go through my mind.
I showed the guys one of my best new little tech toys. It's a simple one. The flashlight I keep clipped to my shirts, and on me at all times. It kicks out an amazing amount of light on it's middle setting, and has a much brighter and much dimmer setting. It even cam in handy. As we were finishing our meal, a few things were dropped but it had gotten dark. The back light, that was good enough for finishing our meal was good enough for socializing, but not good enough to find a cap that had dropped. I think they were actually impressed with it, more so since all it takes is a AAA battery. They don't like the expensive rechargeable and rare battery types any more than I do. I'm telling you, a little backup flashlight, that you can carry anywhere, is excellent. It's not really good for find your way across a dangerous ridge-line at midnight, should you have the need, though it would work if you were to go slowly. What it is good for is a quick, short range, bright to dim light, for finding almost anything, including your way through a dark "cave" at night, finding little things that you drop, and about a thousand other very small tasks are made easier... including reading fine print with older eyes... amazingly helpful. Or, should you drop your main flashlight, to find it.
I'm starting to have a small collection of things that simply help in life. I am starting to arrange things, and collect and learn things, and do things. I can't believe how much very small things can help. Actually, it is the very small that help across tasks and in various ways, that are much more pleasing than the single, bigger, if usually more specialized tools and gear, that I am enjoying. It is these little things that will take me further, easier, and better. If you think about a long dusty trail, what gets you the most isn't the long walk, or even the heat. It is the pebbles that get in your shoes if you can't keep them out, or remove them due to frequency, that anything. The little things. I highly recommend a small flashlight, a pocket knife, and perhaps a little cordage, on you, at all times. Doesn't take much, it just has to be reliable, tested, familiar.
Rest. Yes. I doubt if I will get to anything today. I need the rest. I may take the weekend, and on into Tuesday or Wednesday off. I need it, or may. But... I will get my pack together in that time. I want to go hiking. Early in the morning is best. A run to the yurt, perhaps. It will be getting very hot by noon, from now on. Though it will cool, it won't cool until after dark. Yes... perhaps an 8:00 or 9:00 hike next week. After I am back on track. But for now... cooling off and resting, mostly. A couple days of nearly nothing. I need it, hard. Later.
.
I missed medicine yesterday. Ah well. It wasn't an extremely busy day, but... with the givens, it actually was. Stack on the rest of the week and it was quite a lot. Just pushing to get to things was part of the problem. For, even when I am doing nothing but sitting, if I am ruminating about getting to things, the focus can leave room for no other considerations. That must have been what happened. I don't remember forgetting. And, actually, sometimes I do. I don't always fix what I realize I forget, either because it isn't available, perhaps I remember while in town for example. Or, when I remember, I have nothing to drink to take the medications with and no immediate way to go get that. But, yesterday, I was so focused I must simply have not even had the fact go through my mind.
I showed the guys one of my best new little tech toys. It's a simple one. The flashlight I keep clipped to my shirts, and on me at all times. It kicks out an amazing amount of light on it's middle setting, and has a much brighter and much dimmer setting. It even cam in handy. As we were finishing our meal, a few things were dropped but it had gotten dark. The back light, that was good enough for finishing our meal was good enough for socializing, but not good enough to find a cap that had dropped. I think they were actually impressed with it, more so since all it takes is a AAA battery. They don't like the expensive rechargeable and rare battery types any more than I do. I'm telling you, a little backup flashlight, that you can carry anywhere, is excellent. It's not really good for find your way across a dangerous ridge-line at midnight, should you have the need, though it would work if you were to go slowly. What it is good for is a quick, short range, bright to dim light, for finding almost anything, including your way through a dark "cave" at night, finding little things that you drop, and about a thousand other very small tasks are made easier... including reading fine print with older eyes... amazingly helpful. Or, should you drop your main flashlight, to find it.
I'm starting to have a small collection of things that simply help in life. I am starting to arrange things, and collect and learn things, and do things. I can't believe how much very small things can help. Actually, it is the very small that help across tasks and in various ways, that are much more pleasing than the single, bigger, if usually more specialized tools and gear, that I am enjoying. It is these little things that will take me further, easier, and better. If you think about a long dusty trail, what gets you the most isn't the long walk, or even the heat. It is the pebbles that get in your shoes if you can't keep them out, or remove them due to frequency, that anything. The little things. I highly recommend a small flashlight, a pocket knife, and perhaps a little cordage, on you, at all times. Doesn't take much, it just has to be reliable, tested, familiar.
Rest. Yes. I doubt if I will get to anything today. I need the rest. I may take the weekend, and on into Tuesday or Wednesday off. I need it, or may. But... I will get my pack together in that time. I want to go hiking. Early in the morning is best. A run to the yurt, perhaps. It will be getting very hot by noon, from now on. Though it will cool, it won't cool until after dark. Yes... perhaps an 8:00 or 9:00 hike next week. After I am back on track. But for now... cooling off and resting, mostly. A couple days of nearly nothing. I need it, hard. Later.
Late to bed, of course.
.
.
It could have been much worse. With company over until... rather late, that I was able to relax and sleep fairly quickly was a bit of a surprise. Within an hour I had it, mostly, wrapped up out there, was in, and heading to bed. It didn't take long at all to hit my stride into sleep. And I slept very well. I know I dreamed. But it seems to have been the fluff dreams of childhood. Then again, as I recall, I had terrible nightmares even back then. Okay, how about fluff dreams of the childhood we idealize we had? Yeah. Life sort of starts out harsh. Then it gets worse, then much worse, and further degrades as we learn, from learning if we are smart enough, that we will never know. And the more we know the more we realize that we, after being bullet proof (compared to those around us, often), are not the lucky ones. Then we, eventually, I hope, are tended and can revert back to some of the simplicity of our childhood even while drawing breath. Of course, simplicity... innocents of a sort, young or old, comes vulnerability. But... it's not bad, either way, any way, as I see things now. Amen.
Today? I woke at about 13:00, so there isn't much day left. And it is pretty warm. First thing I did was geared the fans and set the AC to run for a couple of hours. Oh, and closed the windows. I should have set the alarm to wake earlier, just to close the windows. But I think that wouldn't have worked, there is no way by bed time I could have glommed an idea like that together and put it into action, so... If I let the night air in, then close the windows before heat from the day seeps in, life is much easier. It isn't, obviously, always possible though. But... for a restful day, I think it will do.
I will probably do very small things. A little cleaning here and there, from time to time. Perhaps dishes and a load or two of laundry through the weekend. Nothing at any speed, a load at a time. This, that, and the other thing. If I can make room on the kitchen table finally, and that is very possible, I might get to honing one of the blades and begin working a balloon, or three, or whatever it takes, with it. I might even do a thing or three in the garden or garage. But only easy or necessary stuff. And outside stuff will be done when things cool off.
Wonderful. Restful. I love working a week because it makes weekends so very nice.
My friend doesn't understand some things. And there is no way to explain some things. Of course he will have to give me razz in any case. That's what friends are for. Of course, some day, he may be 'splained'. His ears will ring, he'll twitch, and his head will spin. And? He'll still razz. That's what friends are for. Ha! It's good to have friends. Life stinks without some serious razzleberry pie, a la mode, when available and the season is right.
Later.
.
It could have been much worse. With company over until... rather late, that I was able to relax and sleep fairly quickly was a bit of a surprise. Within an hour I had it, mostly, wrapped up out there, was in, and heading to bed. It didn't take long at all to hit my stride into sleep. And I slept very well. I know I dreamed. But it seems to have been the fluff dreams of childhood. Then again, as I recall, I had terrible nightmares even back then. Okay, how about fluff dreams of the childhood we idealize we had? Yeah. Life sort of starts out harsh. Then it gets worse, then much worse, and further degrades as we learn, from learning if we are smart enough, that we will never know. And the more we know the more we realize that we, after being bullet proof (compared to those around us, often), are not the lucky ones. Then we, eventually, I hope, are tended and can revert back to some of the simplicity of our childhood even while drawing breath. Of course, simplicity... innocents of a sort, young or old, comes vulnerability. But... it's not bad, either way, any way, as I see things now. Amen.
Today? I woke at about 13:00, so there isn't much day left. And it is pretty warm. First thing I did was geared the fans and set the AC to run for a couple of hours. Oh, and closed the windows. I should have set the alarm to wake earlier, just to close the windows. But I think that wouldn't have worked, there is no way by bed time I could have glommed an idea like that together and put it into action, so... If I let the night air in, then close the windows before heat from the day seeps in, life is much easier. It isn't, obviously, always possible though. But... for a restful day, I think it will do.
I will probably do very small things. A little cleaning here and there, from time to time. Perhaps dishes and a load or two of laundry through the weekend. Nothing at any speed, a load at a time. This, that, and the other thing. If I can make room on the kitchen table finally, and that is very possible, I might get to honing one of the blades and begin working a balloon, or three, or whatever it takes, with it. I might even do a thing or three in the garden or garage. But only easy or necessary stuff. And outside stuff will be done when things cool off.
Wonderful. Restful. I love working a week because it makes weekends so very nice.
My friend doesn't understand some things. And there is no way to explain some things. Of course he will have to give me razz in any case. That's what friends are for. Of course, some day, he may be 'splained'. His ears will ring, he'll twitch, and his head will spin. And? He'll still razz. That's what friends are for. Ha! It's good to have friends. Life stinks without some serious razzleberry pie, a la mode, when available and the season is right.
Later.
Excellent 4th celebration.
.
.
I think they really enjoyed themselves. I sure enjoyed having some company. Food and talk. They just left. Yeah... guys need guy company once in a while. We had way too much food, but that was all just fine. Better to have too much than too little. They are thinking at least once a month. That really would be good. Can go cheap, a salad or two, chicken, hotdogs, brots, hamburgers, or step it up to a pork loin or other roast, brisket, or such. Easy.
Further, one of the fellows is thinking of a road trip, up through Wyoming. There are a number of things to see up that way, and with my vehicle, we can easily all pack in, share costs, and probably have a bit of fun. All without getting into too much trouble, possibly. That's one of the best 4th's I've ever set up and had work out. Yeah, that worked out very well. I am toast, about ready for bed, but all good.
I hope you had a fine 4th, or will when you get to it. Be well and good night.
.
I think they really enjoyed themselves. I sure enjoyed having some company. Food and talk. They just left. Yeah... guys need guy company once in a while. We had way too much food, but that was all just fine. Better to have too much than too little. They are thinking at least once a month. That really would be good. Can go cheap, a salad or two, chicken, hotdogs, brots, hamburgers, or step it up to a pork loin or other roast, brisket, or such. Easy.
Further, one of the fellows is thinking of a road trip, up through Wyoming. There are a number of things to see up that way, and with my vehicle, we can easily all pack in, share costs, and probably have a bit of fun. All without getting into too much trouble, possibly. That's one of the best 4th's I've ever set up and had work out. Yeah, that worked out very well. I am toast, about ready for bed, but all good.
I hope you had a fine 4th, or will when you get to it. Be well and good night.
Friday, July 4, 2014
Yes, yes, it is about to begin.
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.
A shower, laundry moved, dishes set to soak, a bit more light picking up, and a call letting me know they are on the way. I asked them to pick up some soda. I don't have anything else to drink. Gah! Can't remember everything. Well... I do have coffee, but... that's just not... fit for a meal... other than breakfast. If I keep getting fussier I'll become British! Bleh! :)
Worn out. This week has seen me... doing this, that, or the other thing, and every day. Little or small, heavy, light, and mixes. I don't have everything done, but there is nothing that didn't receive a lick and some spit. But this weekend? After this? Rest. Oh, Lord knows, I need it... hard. Worn down to my nubs and then wearing on even those. Done. Pleased, but done, for now, this week. Rest... and cool.
If I keep going like this I am either going to expand, then catch, my breath or I am going to end up going down from it. I am stuck pushing. When I can, I do. When I do, I overdo. That is just my nature. I love my nature. If I was healthy I would be a multimillionaire. Not from greed, but from production. Wealth, as a biproduct, is fine. If you create you will be rewarded. Then... you have the responsibility of managing that wealth, turning it into greater gains, and sometimes losing it. No risk, no reward. One of the huge lies of socialism is that you can do little and still thrive. Not so, and the truth hits, soon or late.
They are here! Later.
.
A shower, laundry moved, dishes set to soak, a bit more light picking up, and a call letting me know they are on the way. I asked them to pick up some soda. I don't have anything else to drink. Gah! Can't remember everything. Well... I do have coffee, but... that's just not... fit for a meal... other than breakfast. If I keep getting fussier I'll become British! Bleh! :)
Worn out. This week has seen me... doing this, that, or the other thing, and every day. Little or small, heavy, light, and mixes. I don't have everything done, but there is nothing that didn't receive a lick and some spit. But this weekend? After this? Rest. Oh, Lord knows, I need it... hard. Worn down to my nubs and then wearing on even those. Done. Pleased, but done, for now, this week. Rest... and cool.
If I keep going like this I am either going to expand, then catch, my breath or I am going to end up going down from it. I am stuck pushing. When I can, I do. When I do, I overdo. That is just my nature. I love my nature. If I was healthy I would be a multimillionaire. Not from greed, but from production. Wealth, as a biproduct, is fine. If you create you will be rewarded. Then... you have the responsibility of managing that wealth, turning it into greater gains, and sometimes losing it. No risk, no reward. One of the huge lies of socialism is that you can do little and still thrive. Not so, and the truth hits, soon or late.
They are here! Later.
Well, a bit of cleaning, finally, anyway.
.
.
Simply put, I couldn't keep up. Be we aren't cooking or eating inside. Still, if someone needs to use the facilities... To late too do much good, but It will... eventually, be a good thing. Too hot to air the house out, so that'll have to wait until tonight. I got the cat litter changed while I was at it. It lasts a lot longer if I do nearly daily upkeep. Barring that, changing nearly whole hog is the only other option, every few weeks. I got one part of it last week or so, but finished the project today. Back in trim, or as close as I am going to get to that until the last of the chores are done.
And, yesterday, I noticed a cat had been hit by the side of the road. Not mine, mind you. A big tom. Felt bad for him, but I can't do much else than pull him off the road, into a bag, and send him along with the rest of the refuse. I did NOT want to touch this project. I didn't have time or energy until now, so it's not like I avoided. I just feared. If they swell, and it's hard to tell unless you work with dead animals, if you disturb it, it could pop. Not a pretty thing. Luckily no such thing happened. Still... I probably need to spray bug killer out there. Yes, I know they clean it up. But...
I also cleaned the patio area up a bit, moved the garbage and recycling bins, and some bigger boxes, around to the back to be out of our way. The grill should be downwind of us, so we won't get the heat from that. It is a warm day out there, though. But by 19:00, it should be cool enough. I just hope they call before just showing up. We'll see if their memory is as bad as mine, or good... depending on the day. :p But they have decided to bring their own meats. My friend wants steak, and the other friend wants brots or such. No skin off my nose. Even if I bought enough hotdogs and hamburgers for three families of three. Oh well. I'll get to it myself. My one friend is excited about using the hibachi. I'll let him, but he gets to cook his own then. That dang thing is hot to work with. I'll use the grill/smoker myself... just keep it open. The hibachi is good, for camping or such, when you can just burn wood. But otherwise it's a waste as I see things. But... I'm good with whatever. I've got enough coals and will be getting more soon anyway. All good. Just something for me to give a good bark about, which I have... twice now. Then let go. I told you, I like to have something like that at least once a day.
Ah, right... a shower and then into more social attire. Hmm, shorts would probably be fine here, but these need washed. Oh, and after the shower, I'll put what dirty dishes I have to soak and move the dirty laundry to the wash room. Then... that'll be as much as I can do for the event... Time, then, to chill until they decide what they are doing, and when. Later.
.
Simply put, I couldn't keep up. Be we aren't cooking or eating inside. Still, if someone needs to use the facilities... To late too do much good, but It will... eventually, be a good thing. Too hot to air the house out, so that'll have to wait until tonight. I got the cat litter changed while I was at it. It lasts a lot longer if I do nearly daily upkeep. Barring that, changing nearly whole hog is the only other option, every few weeks. I got one part of it last week or so, but finished the project today. Back in trim, or as close as I am going to get to that until the last of the chores are done.
And, yesterday, I noticed a cat had been hit by the side of the road. Not mine, mind you. A big tom. Felt bad for him, but I can't do much else than pull him off the road, into a bag, and send him along with the rest of the refuse. I did NOT want to touch this project. I didn't have time or energy until now, so it's not like I avoided. I just feared. If they swell, and it's hard to tell unless you work with dead animals, if you disturb it, it could pop. Not a pretty thing. Luckily no such thing happened. Still... I probably need to spray bug killer out there. Yes, I know they clean it up. But...
I also cleaned the patio area up a bit, moved the garbage and recycling bins, and some bigger boxes, around to the back to be out of our way. The grill should be downwind of us, so we won't get the heat from that. It is a warm day out there, though. But by 19:00, it should be cool enough. I just hope they call before just showing up. We'll see if their memory is as bad as mine, or good... depending on the day. :p But they have decided to bring their own meats. My friend wants steak, and the other friend wants brots or such. No skin off my nose. Even if I bought enough hotdogs and hamburgers for three families of three. Oh well. I'll get to it myself. My one friend is excited about using the hibachi. I'll let him, but he gets to cook his own then. That dang thing is hot to work with. I'll use the grill/smoker myself... just keep it open. The hibachi is good, for camping or such, when you can just burn wood. But otherwise it's a waste as I see things. But... I'm good with whatever. I've got enough coals and will be getting more soon anyway. All good. Just something for me to give a good bark about, which I have... twice now. Then let go. I told you, I like to have something like that at least once a day.
Ah, right... a shower and then into more social attire. Hmm, shorts would probably be fine here, but these need washed. Oh, and after the shower, I'll put what dirty dishes I have to soak and move the dirty laundry to the wash room. Then... that'll be as much as I can do for the event... Time, then, to chill until they decide what they are doing, and when. Later.
I have learned...
.
.
From darklings. I would tell you more, but you would bleed with me. Enough is enough. So many secrets, so much... energy, this way and that. Stories, mind you. And blood and tears. Don't hate, but I do know some things. Tools, all. For good or ill? Only intent. And, so, I move on. My own brother, father, myself... seemingly alone. But not. Careful children, lambs. While the wolf howls, this one knows the name of his Father. Now... scoot. Dreaming, again, while awake... if it's a newer story... to you.
.
From darklings. I would tell you more, but you would bleed with me. Enough is enough. So many secrets, so much... energy, this way and that. Stories, mind you. And blood and tears. Don't hate, but I do know some things. Tools, all. For good or ill? Only intent. And, so, I move on. My own brother, father, myself... seemingly alone. But not. Careful children, lambs. While the wolf howls, this one knows the name of his Father. Now... scoot. Dreaming, again, while awake... if it's a newer story... to you.
Curious.
.
.
Supernatural. The t.v. series... Never saw. Could be interesting but seems a bit cheesy. Still... I looked around. Some places wanted to rent it out. But I found the series for free. All the way back. Sure beats $1.99 per. Watched the first two, and will probably turn it into a... fest... either tonight or tomorrow. A few more tonight, perhaps. Yeah... Sleep. Yeah... But...
Later... Actually, probably, good night. Oh... yeah... there are things that go bump in the night. And there are things that bump back. Thing is, if you are one, the other, or cross over? Even if you started out... normal? It'll... change you. You do, probably, mostly, get a choice. Might take a bit. Not something most of you have to worry about, in any of the various cases. Baaah! :) Good night.
.
Supernatural. The t.v. series... Never saw. Could be interesting but seems a bit cheesy. Still... I looked around. Some places wanted to rent it out. But I found the series for free. All the way back. Sure beats $1.99 per. Watched the first two, and will probably turn it into a... fest... either tonight or tomorrow. A few more tonight, perhaps. Yeah... Sleep. Yeah... But...
Later... Actually, probably, good night. Oh... yeah... there are things that go bump in the night. And there are things that bump back. Thing is, if you are one, the other, or cross over? Even if you started out... normal? It'll... change you. You do, probably, mostly, get a choice. Might take a bit. Not something most of you have to worry about, in any of the various cases. Baaah! :) Good night.
Thursday, July 3, 2014
More music as I sweat things out.
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.
I got to town. I bought what was needed. I put it up. I called my friend. He and the other fellow were there, tinkering on a rifle. I let them know I was ready. Too hot they suggested. Hmm... I suggested they see how it is tomorrow and show up if it isn't too bad. Call either way. *shrug*
Ideas, music, flowing on other things. Libations my find their way to the stream. Here is a taste.
.
I got to town. I bought what was needed. I put it up. I called my friend. He and the other fellow were there, tinkering on a rifle. I let them know I was ready. Too hot they suggested. Hmm... I suggested they see how it is tomorrow and show up if it isn't too bad. Call either way. *shrug*
Ideas, music, flowing on other things. Libations my find their way to the stream. Here is a taste.
Ticklish tunes? You decide.
.
.
Went looking for something dealing with the frustrations of moving slow and having to push so hard just to do it. Found some things that... well... grain of salt and a slightly different taste for music. Not my usual, at all... But... thematically correct. :)
.
Went looking for something dealing with the frustrations of moving slow and having to push so hard just to do it. Found some things that... well... grain of salt and a slightly different taste for music. Not my usual, at all... But... thematically correct. :)
Awake, early. Check.
.
.
Getting to things? Not so much. While I am pushing, and gaining control in some areas, there is a cost. It is taking forever for the machine to spin up. Booting the system doesn't take a few hours, it takes four to six, perhaps more. By the time I am ready to run some of the operations it is a bit too hot. So I have to wait until it begins cooling off. I suppose it isn't a problem, so long as I am able to get the things done I wish to get done. Hmm... while I'm waiting for a cool off, I suppose I could do some cleaning in here. Well... in another hour or two, anyway. Slow.
Hmm... couldn't shoot today. Perhaps tomorrow, after the cookout? It's not like we have women and children demanding our time or other things to do. And it IS the 4th. I don't have any fireworks, and I doubt if they do. Ordnance will do. Assuming the rough range isn't too full. I'll call in and see if my friend thinks that would be interesting to him. Might even just decide to shoot, or eat, depending on when it seems cooler or better. It's our game, so we can call it as we wish.
Just going over my list again today. Grocery shopping for the picnic, drip irrigation work, and cleaning the cave a bit. That is about it for today. If I wake early, and can push it, perhaps some more cleaning tomorrow. Then whatever as the day goes on.
Oh, no real complaints. Just... trying to figure things out, and maybe a touch of gripe, plus planning... Trying to stay in the game. Ahead of the game when I can. You can plan all you want, but it isn't always possible, so... be flexible? Yeah. And I am about as flexible as iron, but... I'll keep at it. Later.
.
Getting to things? Not so much. While I am pushing, and gaining control in some areas, there is a cost. It is taking forever for the machine to spin up. Booting the system doesn't take a few hours, it takes four to six, perhaps more. By the time I am ready to run some of the operations it is a bit too hot. So I have to wait until it begins cooling off. I suppose it isn't a problem, so long as I am able to get the things done I wish to get done. Hmm... while I'm waiting for a cool off, I suppose I could do some cleaning in here. Well... in another hour or two, anyway. Slow.
Hmm... couldn't shoot today. Perhaps tomorrow, after the cookout? It's not like we have women and children demanding our time or other things to do. And it IS the 4th. I don't have any fireworks, and I doubt if they do. Ordnance will do. Assuming the rough range isn't too full. I'll call in and see if my friend thinks that would be interesting to him. Might even just decide to shoot, or eat, depending on when it seems cooler or better. It's our game, so we can call it as we wish.
Just going over my list again today. Grocery shopping for the picnic, drip irrigation work, and cleaning the cave a bit. That is about it for today. If I wake early, and can push it, perhaps some more cleaning tomorrow. Then whatever as the day goes on.
Oh, no real complaints. Just... trying to figure things out, and maybe a touch of gripe, plus planning... Trying to stay in the game. Ahead of the game when I can. You can plan all you want, but it isn't always possible, so... be flexible? Yeah. And I am about as flexible as iron, but... I'll keep at it. Later.
Yeah and... no.
.
.
I didn't get to bed until... 0:30? Something like that. I, again, set the alarm for 8:00. I struggled, but I did wake before 9:00. At about 8:30 or so. Struggle. But, while not right at 8:00, being before 9:00, I'm calling it "8:00". Oh, waking was brutal. I knew, and tried, and couldn't, and kept hitting that snooze, hoping to get out of bed before 9:00... or, honestly, as soon as I could. Mornings like that are ugly, hurt, and will hurt all day. Still... And, tomorrow, I am hoping to get to bed just a wee earlier and wake a bit earlier. Further, even though the weekend is to be mostly restful, I plan to continue trying to move the clock back.
It looks like there is a bit of overcast for today. All good! A bit of a cooler day is a wonderful thing. Even if it simply turns to a later warming. The sun is brutal this time of year. Hmm... what was I going to do today. I know I need to go to the store(s). Ah, and work in the garden to get the trickle feed system going. Doing a bit of cleaning in the house too. I'll be honest though. I am thinking of buying the potato salad. That is, simply put, a lot of work, and hot. Boiling potatoes and eggs, then peeling, chopping, doing onions, and mixing. Yeah, it is far better... a homemade potato salad. But... I am not sure I have it. I can do the coleslaw though. I'll skip the dried fruit. Even softened I think they might be a bit difficult for my friend.
Oh, but... I am pleased. Yeah, not doing as much as I had hoped, but... I'm doing a bit daily. I am adding personal care back in, and recovering from my medicinal hiccup, turning my clock backwards, getting to the garden, bits of plumbing are working forward, and... Yeah. It does hurt, but in the best of ways. I'm fiddling, if all thumbs for now. I am beginning to believe, if I keep on it, my thumbs will revert to fingers and I will... be able to do low level performances, and regularly. Toss in a returning ability to learn, a growing interest in a variety of activities with the necessities for those, a strengthening body, and some minor improvements in capacity. Stamina is my true Achilles's heel at this moment, but not the only one. Strength I sort of have in spades, but using that strength for long is... a whole other thing. Gotta crack on that. Weights will help, if I can get to them. But they will cost, too.
Pleased. Bleeding, sore, tired, but happy with that. It's... all I ever wanted. I'm not quite there yet. I am still very limited. But this is a small portion of the microcosm I could be, might become. A microcosm of my full potential at a microcosm? Yes... that would be it. Even so, I am missing much. Some things I simply can't do, or see, and never will. Such is the way of man. But what I can see and do... that's coming into it's own. One step, one improvement in knowledge or strength, one bit of added stamina, one touch of control, at a time. Even so, these things are given to the glory of God, not even these do I take. I simply enjoy... and work further as I can.
.
I didn't get to bed until... 0:30? Something like that. I, again, set the alarm for 8:00. I struggled, but I did wake before 9:00. At about 8:30 or so. Struggle. But, while not right at 8:00, being before 9:00, I'm calling it "8:00". Oh, waking was brutal. I knew, and tried, and couldn't, and kept hitting that snooze, hoping to get out of bed before 9:00... or, honestly, as soon as I could. Mornings like that are ugly, hurt, and will hurt all day. Still... And, tomorrow, I am hoping to get to bed just a wee earlier and wake a bit earlier. Further, even though the weekend is to be mostly restful, I plan to continue trying to move the clock back.
It looks like there is a bit of overcast for today. All good! A bit of a cooler day is a wonderful thing. Even if it simply turns to a later warming. The sun is brutal this time of year. Hmm... what was I going to do today. I know I need to go to the store(s). Ah, and work in the garden to get the trickle feed system going. Doing a bit of cleaning in the house too. I'll be honest though. I am thinking of buying the potato salad. That is, simply put, a lot of work, and hot. Boiling potatoes and eggs, then peeling, chopping, doing onions, and mixing. Yeah, it is far better... a homemade potato salad. But... I am not sure I have it. I can do the coleslaw though. I'll skip the dried fruit. Even softened I think they might be a bit difficult for my friend.
Oh, but... I am pleased. Yeah, not doing as much as I had hoped, but... I'm doing a bit daily. I am adding personal care back in, and recovering from my medicinal hiccup, turning my clock backwards, getting to the garden, bits of plumbing are working forward, and... Yeah. It does hurt, but in the best of ways. I'm fiddling, if all thumbs for now. I am beginning to believe, if I keep on it, my thumbs will revert to fingers and I will... be able to do low level performances, and regularly. Toss in a returning ability to learn, a growing interest in a variety of activities with the necessities for those, a strengthening body, and some minor improvements in capacity. Stamina is my true Achilles's heel at this moment, but not the only one. Strength I sort of have in spades, but using that strength for long is... a whole other thing. Gotta crack on that. Weights will help, if I can get to them. But they will cost, too.
Pleased. Bleeding, sore, tired, but happy with that. It's... all I ever wanted. I'm not quite there yet. I am still very limited. But this is a small portion of the microcosm I could be, might become. A microcosm of my full potential at a microcosm? Yes... that would be it. Even so, I am missing much. Some things I simply can't do, or see, and never will. Such is the way of man. But what I can see and do... that's coming into it's own. One step, one improvement in knowledge or strength, one bit of added stamina, one touch of control, at a time. Even so, these things are given to the glory of God, not even these do I take. I simply enjoy... and work further as I can.
Wednesday, July 2, 2014
Well, some of it.
.
.
It was dragging down to the wire. I wasn't sure I would get anything done today. But at about 16:00 I either started or started seriously considering work. Whenever it was that I got to it, I turned off the water to the house and changed the valves in the bathroom. It seems like that would be a really fast job. It is and it isn't. It does eat much more time than the thought would convey. But... done. Then I headed out to the garden. I was working in shade from trees to the west, and it seemed cool enough. Having the holes dug, I thought, would be enough of a push so that I could get through it all quickly. And I dug enough holes, plus one. But... nope. I planted every plant I wanted in. But it wore me right down. I suppose kneeling and rising was the biggest thing. There were 13 plants. How lucky.
There is no way I could get the drip line worked and connected. So I sprayed before I planted then on top of the mound after I was done. That will have to do. Two of the plants don't look like they will make it. Two of the tomato plants looked a bit weak. Well, I have done what I could. Perhaps tomorrow I will get the drip irrigation going. Who knows, but that is a minor goal. If not I will simply water them with the hose again.
What else tomorrow? A trip to town for vegetables and then making potato salad and cole slaw. And a bit of cleaning around the house. Ugh... Still, I don't think the cookout will be bad. And then I have the weekend to flit or sit as I need or want. Yeah, that garden sort of cooks me. Still, this is what I want to do. I'll just have to toughen up.
I'll light the grill and have hamburgers tonight. Then take a shower as I ease toward sleep. I best get a move on though, I'd like to be in bed by 23:00. Didn't make it last night, but it remains the target. Later.
.
It was dragging down to the wire. I wasn't sure I would get anything done today. But at about 16:00 I either started or started seriously considering work. Whenever it was that I got to it, I turned off the water to the house and changed the valves in the bathroom. It seems like that would be a really fast job. It is and it isn't. It does eat much more time than the thought would convey. But... done. Then I headed out to the garden. I was working in shade from trees to the west, and it seemed cool enough. Having the holes dug, I thought, would be enough of a push so that I could get through it all quickly. And I dug enough holes, plus one. But... nope. I planted every plant I wanted in. But it wore me right down. I suppose kneeling and rising was the biggest thing. There were 13 plants. How lucky.
There is no way I could get the drip line worked and connected. So I sprayed before I planted then on top of the mound after I was done. That will have to do. Two of the plants don't look like they will make it. Two of the tomato plants looked a bit weak. Well, I have done what I could. Perhaps tomorrow I will get the drip irrigation going. Who knows, but that is a minor goal. If not I will simply water them with the hose again.
What else tomorrow? A trip to town for vegetables and then making potato salad and cole slaw. And a bit of cleaning around the house. Ugh... Still, I don't think the cookout will be bad. And then I have the weekend to flit or sit as I need or want. Yeah, that garden sort of cooks me. Still, this is what I want to do. I'll just have to toughen up.
I'll light the grill and have hamburgers tonight. Then take a shower as I ease toward sleep. I best get a move on though, I'd like to be in bed by 23:00. Didn't make it last night, but it remains the target. Later.
I keep thinking about projects, for some future day.
.
.
Of course beer is always a consideration. Oh, no worries. I have way too many things to get to the notion any time soon. The last time I looked into it, I was evaluating an automated system. It was, and remains, simply too complex of a project. But... how difficult is simple home brewing? I have seen the kits, but have little interest in that. What else was out there, I wondered? Well, an accidental crossing of paths, rather than a research project, led to a... possibility.
.
Of course beer is always a consideration. Oh, no worries. I have way too many things to get to the notion any time soon. The last time I looked into it, I was evaluating an automated system. It was, and remains, simply too complex of a project. But... how difficult is simple home brewing? I have seen the kits, but have little interest in that. What else was out there, I wondered? Well, an accidental crossing of paths, rather than a research project, led to a... possibility.
Pushing. Hard.
.
.
It can't look like it. But you would have to be in my skin to know. It feels like I've gone three rounds with a champ. With one of my arms behind my back. Taking more than giving, that's for sure. Punishing. And yet... I can't just quit. Sometimes I stop, but that is when I have no choice. When I have a choice I can't stop any more than I can go when I can't. Stuck, one way or the other. Not sure I like either, but I'll take being stuck in gear than having no ability to engage gears. I can't shift gears, mind you. I'm just crawling. I will try to get some things done while going forward. This weekend is looking very nice.
When I finished in the garden last night, I was wheezing and and barely able to finish what I did. I am sore today, not from the physical exertion, but from pushing beyond my level of exhaustion by a long shot. And... I'll probably do it again today. Tomorrow will be a day of cooking, but that'll still be a bit. And Friday... depends on how that turns out. But I will be doing something every day until Saturday, plus my daily stuff that I am keeping, or adding to, the lineup. Next week? A hike. Maybe two. And whatever remnants of plumbing and minor tasks I have in mind. Oh, and I'll keep trying to roll my day back into the morning. That part is brutal all on it's own. But I'm... really shoving to get that done. It might well be a temporary victory. But if I can push my mornings back to the 5:00 or 6:00 start, even for a few days, or a week, I'll be grandly satisfied. If I can hold that for a month I'll buy myself something nice. Perhaps an ice pack to uncross my eyes. We'll see.
More coffee. Waking is tough today. Later.
.
It can't look like it. But you would have to be in my skin to know. It feels like I've gone three rounds with a champ. With one of my arms behind my back. Taking more than giving, that's for sure. Punishing. And yet... I can't just quit. Sometimes I stop, but that is when I have no choice. When I have a choice I can't stop any more than I can go when I can't. Stuck, one way or the other. Not sure I like either, but I'll take being stuck in gear than having no ability to engage gears. I can't shift gears, mind you. I'm just crawling. I will try to get some things done while going forward. This weekend is looking very nice.
When I finished in the garden last night, I was wheezing and and barely able to finish what I did. I am sore today, not from the physical exertion, but from pushing beyond my level of exhaustion by a long shot. And... I'll probably do it again today. Tomorrow will be a day of cooking, but that'll still be a bit. And Friday... depends on how that turns out. But I will be doing something every day until Saturday, plus my daily stuff that I am keeping, or adding to, the lineup. Next week? A hike. Maybe two. And whatever remnants of plumbing and minor tasks I have in mind. Oh, and I'll keep trying to roll my day back into the morning. That part is brutal all on it's own. But I'm... really shoving to get that done. It might well be a temporary victory. But if I can push my mornings back to the 5:00 or 6:00 start, even for a few days, or a week, I'll be grandly satisfied. If I can hold that for a month I'll buy myself something nice. Perhaps an ice pack to uncross my eyes. We'll see.
More coffee. Waking is tough today. Later.
Not quite.
.
.
I don't think I put it in until 2:00. Just couldn't do it. I set the alarm for eight, and struggled with the alarm and waking until a bit after 9:15 in real time. My alarm is set to go off early. I think I am going to have to skip shooting tomorrow. I need the groceries today, so I can boil the potatoes and get those sides at least beginning. And another event tomorrow, beyond cooking and prepping, will be too much. I am seriously pushing. Getting A shoot in there just isn't going to work.
I slept rather well. I think I woke mid-sleep (your midnight if you sleep normal nights). Restroom break if it wasn't a dream, though I am siding on real... the cats didn't talk back to me. :) Well... not in English. All good. For a couple of nights I had to take off my ring in fear of it cutting into my finger. That problem is slowly fading. Now I just get very slight moments of bloat. Yeah, I finally know what women were talking about all those years. Still, I don't care if I'm having a fat day, unless the ring gets too tight. I'm not going to wear black, and cry about it. *chuckles* "I hate you!" I know it.
As to the garden... when I can get to it. Not likely to happen this morning, I won't do it in the hottest part of the day, so that leaves this evening. However, with it being cool enough this morning inside, I might get to the valves and faucet in the bathroom, and calling about the kitchen faucet. I guess that is what I have left with it. If need be, it'll just have to be replaced. Gah! It'll be nice, eventually. I hope. But before any of that, I have to wake.
I have risen to the level where more of my routine is back into the mix. Medicines are regular, brushing is becoming more regular, and water retention is down, sleep cycle is being sorted, jobs are being done, showering was maintained... every other day, every third day in busy spells, food prep was kept to at least a minimum. I just need to add in neatness here in the cave. Not bad, really, for a minor down time. And I kept some things in the air. Not all the eggs dropped. Pushing it, though. This weekend will be for rest. It has to be. Other than trying to relocate my schedule back to earlier in the morning, the days will be light. Perhaps a bit of tinkering and cleaning, but light duty.
Dang good summer. Sure, I'm not getting out hiking. But I am doing a lot of other things. Hiking will eventually be in there, or snow shoeing if that is when I can get to it. Hopefully though, I'll have some time this summer and fall to get out a bit and get in better shape for that. I don't want to hit that raw. Then again, what I am doing is physically demanding, give or take, if not quite of that type. I'm working it. What surprises me is that I don't lose any weight, even when not eating regularly and still working. Oh well. My body just won't let the fat go, perhaps it can't anymore. Perhaps what I am doing is simply not enough at this point, or the right stuff. But I am getting stronger. Morning blathering...
Later.
.
I don't think I put it in until 2:00. Just couldn't do it. I set the alarm for eight, and struggled with the alarm and waking until a bit after 9:15 in real time. My alarm is set to go off early. I think I am going to have to skip shooting tomorrow. I need the groceries today, so I can boil the potatoes and get those sides at least beginning. And another event tomorrow, beyond cooking and prepping, will be too much. I am seriously pushing. Getting A shoot in there just isn't going to work.
I slept rather well. I think I woke mid-sleep (your midnight if you sleep normal nights). Restroom break if it wasn't a dream, though I am siding on real... the cats didn't talk back to me. :) Well... not in English. All good. For a couple of nights I had to take off my ring in fear of it cutting into my finger. That problem is slowly fading. Now I just get very slight moments of bloat. Yeah, I finally know what women were talking about all those years. Still, I don't care if I'm having a fat day, unless the ring gets too tight. I'm not going to wear black, and cry about it. *chuckles* "I hate you!" I know it.
As to the garden... when I can get to it. Not likely to happen this morning, I won't do it in the hottest part of the day, so that leaves this evening. However, with it being cool enough this morning inside, I might get to the valves and faucet in the bathroom, and calling about the kitchen faucet. I guess that is what I have left with it. If need be, it'll just have to be replaced. Gah! It'll be nice, eventually. I hope. But before any of that, I have to wake.
I have risen to the level where more of my routine is back into the mix. Medicines are regular, brushing is becoming more regular, and water retention is down, sleep cycle is being sorted, jobs are being done, showering was maintained... every other day, every third day in busy spells, food prep was kept to at least a minimum. I just need to add in neatness here in the cave. Not bad, really, for a minor down time. And I kept some things in the air. Not all the eggs dropped. Pushing it, though. This weekend will be for rest. It has to be. Other than trying to relocate my schedule back to earlier in the morning, the days will be light. Perhaps a bit of tinkering and cleaning, but light duty.
Dang good summer. Sure, I'm not getting out hiking. But I am doing a lot of other things. Hiking will eventually be in there, or snow shoeing if that is when I can get to it. Hopefully though, I'll have some time this summer and fall to get out a bit and get in better shape for that. I don't want to hit that raw. Then again, what I am doing is physically demanding, give or take, if not quite of that type. I'm working it. What surprises me is that I don't lose any weight, even when not eating regularly and still working. Oh well. My body just won't let the fat go, perhaps it can't anymore. Perhaps what I am doing is simply not enough at this point, or the right stuff. But I am getting stronger. Morning blathering...
Later.
Tuesday, July 1, 2014
Yeah, no. Again.
.
.
I did get out. I thought I would fix a problem with the water hose I have that runs around to the plants. As is it leaks if I leave it on. Meaning, every time I want to water the flowers, and currently crops, I have to run around the house, or through it, turn the water on. Then, when I am finished, truck back and turn it off. It is a severe leak. But! Last year, thinking this might be a problem, I purchased a load of washers. Finding those... took a bit. But I did find them. Now they will go in with the plumbing gear. Nice little notion the fellow at HD offered. A... retired plumber himself. His spit has been bullseye. And, it keeps on giving it seems. Anyway... So I change the washer. Nada. Still dripping, or more flowing. So... I get one of the industrial hoses I bought last year. That'll fix it. Nope. I changed the washer for it. Nope. I checked to see if the connection dripped if it was simply turned off. Nope. WTF?!? Never mind.
I quit that and went on to see about the drip connections. I hammered them down, and hand to run two more rows of main line. I then dug holes for the tomatoes and peppers. But I was done. Between the trip to town, wrestling with two 100 foot garden hoses, staking the lines, and digging the holes, I am done. But... I did get to some of it. And I did try some extra work. And I should be set for tomorrow.
The goal is to be up around 8:00. I won't take a shower first thing, just put on ragamuffin clothing and get to the garden as soon as I can wake. I need to install the bleeder nipples as I plant things so that I can water them right away. A good hour of watering, at full speed, ought to help. Then I'll set the timer for an half hour run at about dusk. Dawn would be fine, I suppose. Nah... the water would evaporate much more quickly. Dusk it is. Just for the first three or four days, then put it on, perhaps, M/W/F, for an half hour? Perhaps only twice a week. I'll just have to see how it goes. I don't mind running it longer as it is so much less than a sprinkler. I think I have some bone meal, or some kind of mix with that, to put in with the plants while I am planting them. I may see if I can find that and read the instructions before I crash.
Now? Gotta cool down as quickly as possible. Perhaps a shower if that isn't going fast enough. I need to get to bed by 23:00, or that's the goal. Even so, 8:00 will be tight. That's four hours earlier in just a few days, and needing to repeat that Thursday? An earlier rise is a bugger anyway, this is going to be a real challenge. Yeah, I'm pushing it. We'll see. Yeah, I got some mojo back today. I just hope I can do that for a few more days. THEN I can crash on the weekend. Hmm... wait... the 4th is coming up. Gah! Wait... my friend's friend might be able to drive them in. If he can get the wheelchair one way, I can get it out here, and put it back, to take up some of the heft. He has trouble with that. Hmm... but, when I go in Thursday, now I have to go, I will need to buy potatoes and cabbage, for the sides. I bought hotdog and hamburger buns today, and mayonnaise. I just can't... keep everything aloft in my juggling act. Just so much and then I start shutting down and that is that for then.
Meh... I'll get there. Later. Perhaps good night.
.
I did get out. I thought I would fix a problem with the water hose I have that runs around to the plants. As is it leaks if I leave it on. Meaning, every time I want to water the flowers, and currently crops, I have to run around the house, or through it, turn the water on. Then, when I am finished, truck back and turn it off. It is a severe leak. But! Last year, thinking this might be a problem, I purchased a load of washers. Finding those... took a bit. But I did find them. Now they will go in with the plumbing gear. Nice little notion the fellow at HD offered. A... retired plumber himself. His spit has been bullseye. And, it keeps on giving it seems. Anyway... So I change the washer. Nada. Still dripping, or more flowing. So... I get one of the industrial hoses I bought last year. That'll fix it. Nope. I changed the washer for it. Nope. I checked to see if the connection dripped if it was simply turned off. Nope. WTF?!? Never mind.
I quit that and went on to see about the drip connections. I hammered them down, and hand to run two more rows of main line. I then dug holes for the tomatoes and peppers. But I was done. Between the trip to town, wrestling with two 100 foot garden hoses, staking the lines, and digging the holes, I am done. But... I did get to some of it. And I did try some extra work. And I should be set for tomorrow.
The goal is to be up around 8:00. I won't take a shower first thing, just put on ragamuffin clothing and get to the garden as soon as I can wake. I need to install the bleeder nipples as I plant things so that I can water them right away. A good hour of watering, at full speed, ought to help. Then I'll set the timer for an half hour run at about dusk. Dawn would be fine, I suppose. Nah... the water would evaporate much more quickly. Dusk it is. Just for the first three or four days, then put it on, perhaps, M/W/F, for an half hour? Perhaps only twice a week. I'll just have to see how it goes. I don't mind running it longer as it is so much less than a sprinkler. I think I have some bone meal, or some kind of mix with that, to put in with the plants while I am planting them. I may see if I can find that and read the instructions before I crash.
Now? Gotta cool down as quickly as possible. Perhaps a shower if that isn't going fast enough. I need to get to bed by 23:00, or that's the goal. Even so, 8:00 will be tight. That's four hours earlier in just a few days, and needing to repeat that Thursday? An earlier rise is a bugger anyway, this is going to be a real challenge. Yeah, I'm pushing it. We'll see. Yeah, I got some mojo back today. I just hope I can do that for a few more days. THEN I can crash on the weekend. Hmm... wait... the 4th is coming up. Gah! Wait... my friend's friend might be able to drive them in. If he can get the wheelchair one way, I can get it out here, and put it back, to take up some of the heft. He has trouble with that. Hmm... but, when I go in Thursday, now I have to go, I will need to buy potatoes and cabbage, for the sides. I bought hotdog and hamburger buns today, and mayonnaise. I just can't... keep everything aloft in my juggling act. Just so much and then I start shutting down and that is that for then.
Meh... I'll get there. Later. Perhaps good night.
Had too cool down a bit.
.
.
Between having to push to get out, then doing it all in a sprint trying to get to everything, then unloading it all and putting a way, and returning just in time for a fine meal... then... digesting that... Yeah, well. All good. I am about cool enough now to go out and tinker with the hoses. I've been hitting the plants daily, as they really seem to need it, in the pots they arrived in. One of them is still having it's leaves looking... bad. It is losing green along the edges. I need to get those in the ground. Hmm. If I get the other things done, I may just go ahead and put them in, and set up the timer. Not sure I have that much, but sometimes when I focus and start... it can just happen.
Then I'll need a bit of a rest. If I get that going, and have something left tomorrow, I might tinker in the bathroom with those valves and the faucet... Oh, and call about the kitchen faucet. *sigh* Juggling isn't a natural talent you know. And I am certainly juggling. Then again, this isn't bad after a thirty year hiatus. And I'm still not exactly healthy. I look it, if a bit plump. But given that I should be skeletal, I guess I'll run with it. :)
I might even be able to get these things done. I really might do it. But... I ought to start if I want to finish, nyet? Later.
.
Between having to push to get out, then doing it all in a sprint trying to get to everything, then unloading it all and putting a way, and returning just in time for a fine meal... then... digesting that... Yeah, well. All good. I am about cool enough now to go out and tinker with the hoses. I've been hitting the plants daily, as they really seem to need it, in the pots they arrived in. One of them is still having it's leaves looking... bad. It is losing green along the edges. I need to get those in the ground. Hmm. If I get the other things done, I may just go ahead and put them in, and set up the timer. Not sure I have that much, but sometimes when I focus and start... it can just happen.
Then I'll need a bit of a rest. If I get that going, and have something left tomorrow, I might tinker in the bathroom with those valves and the faucet... Oh, and call about the kitchen faucet. *sigh* Juggling isn't a natural talent you know. And I am certainly juggling. Then again, this isn't bad after a thirty year hiatus. And I'm still not exactly healthy. I look it, if a bit plump. But given that I should be skeletal, I guess I'll run with it. :)
I might even be able to get these things done. I really might do it. But... I ought to start if I want to finish, nyet? Later.
Well, look at that.
.
.
It took forever, it seemed. I wasn't sure I would get out. Even being up earlier, I was running poorly. A shower went in, but not until right as I was pushing to get in. I stopped at three stores, to get some of the silly stuff out of the way. Then, after I finished those, I called my friend. His sister got him out shopping today, so he didn't need to go. I asked if he would rather just wait until Thursday, and try to go shooting in the morning. It'll get up to 96 that day, or so. So it's either morning or scratch. I'll be working at getting up an going a little better tomorrow and Thursday. I'd like to head in around 8:30. That'll mean a 9:30 shoot, basically.
I stocked up enough for two to three months of my basics. Tobacco, cat food, coffee, topped off my tp for another six months, and bought some other stuff. I still need potatoes and cabbage to make sides for the cookout. Of course, I found stakes for the hoses. I went with the plastic. These seem better than the ones I saw last year. Or, upon closer inspection, it looks as if they will do. All good, all good.
I am yet hoping to get the hoses staked down tonight. Tomorrow the plants will go in the ground, the lines will be flushed, the drip heads will be installed, and I will set up the timer, but run it an hour right away and sort of check it every quarter hour. I doubt if I will get anything, but... that's only half of the point. If this manages weeds, along with some minor effort on my part, I'll be good to go for next year. If not I will need to consider mesh mats or something. Heck of a deal. Slowly putting things together. But... it's actually almost looking like I am almost doing something. Five-toed sloth? Yeah, but not by choice and I'm working on it.
I'm still feeling a bit zapped. I don't really care, as long as I can work through it. And I am. So, for now... who cares. Final product comes first, process next, and style when I can fit that in. And I am getting some product. Later.
.
It took forever, it seemed. I wasn't sure I would get out. Even being up earlier, I was running poorly. A shower went in, but not until right as I was pushing to get in. I stopped at three stores, to get some of the silly stuff out of the way. Then, after I finished those, I called my friend. His sister got him out shopping today, so he didn't need to go. I asked if he would rather just wait until Thursday, and try to go shooting in the morning. It'll get up to 96 that day, or so. So it's either morning or scratch. I'll be working at getting up an going a little better tomorrow and Thursday. I'd like to head in around 8:30. That'll mean a 9:30 shoot, basically.
I stocked up enough for two to three months of my basics. Tobacco, cat food, coffee, topped off my tp for another six months, and bought some other stuff. I still need potatoes and cabbage to make sides for the cookout. Of course, I found stakes for the hoses. I went with the plastic. These seem better than the ones I saw last year. Or, upon closer inspection, it looks as if they will do. All good, all good.
I am yet hoping to get the hoses staked down tonight. Tomorrow the plants will go in the ground, the lines will be flushed, the drip heads will be installed, and I will set up the timer, but run it an hour right away and sort of check it every quarter hour. I doubt if I will get anything, but... that's only half of the point. If this manages weeds, along with some minor effort on my part, I'll be good to go for next year. If not I will need to consider mesh mats or something. Heck of a deal. Slowly putting things together. But... it's actually almost looking like I am almost doing something. Five-toed sloth? Yeah, but not by choice and I'm working on it.
I'm still feeling a bit zapped. I don't really care, as long as I can work through it. And I am. So, for now... who cares. Final product comes first, process next, and style when I can fit that in. And I am getting some product. Later.
I did it.
.
.
To bed by 1:00 to 1:30. It was sort of easy but messy. My body does not want to go down, even when tired. I was weary. I was ready for bed. But something just... like a child that you know needs sleep but just won't go down. Still, it worked. Rocked and rolled a bit, but hit my stride before too awful long. I set the alarm for 9:00. Had to fight to wake, and didn't actually claw my way out of the sack until 9:30-9:45, but I was trying to whole time. Mostly. Wrestling a bull by the horns. That is what my body is. I suppose I could get a cattle prod, but... Nah.
I'll be getting a shower, I think, within the hour. Then figuring out what I need from town. Cream, coffee, tobacco, irrigation parts, and I need to get my friend out shopping. But before all of that, medicines. I have been doing very well with that stuff lately. I think part of my drop was from going to partial meds to avoid a cold turkey event, which was fine. But going back to full dose was more of a challenge than I may have thought it would be. Not quite raising a full dose, but... like with a deadlift, that last push in the heaviest bracket one works up to, after tiring out getting up to that push, is... a bit of a trick. It'll take the last of what you have out of you. And, so it did. But I'm about ready to get back into the game.
I've been able to keep the cave cool, and remembering what to do, and when, and then doing it. Just a little bit, at the right time, saves me a lot of pain when trying to cool off after I've cooked. Once cooked, unbaking is a very difficult chore. When I bake, that leads to insomnia and quickly. It's a major stress. When I am ready for it, and do it early in the day, it is great. But when I am that way nearing bedtime it can get ugly.
On the good side, the little struggles haven't been terribly awful. I have been enjoying the leisure time, other than the want to be doing more. With tasks piled up, I do have to realize, and now do, that I can only do what I can do. So I can back off, and if not in serious pain... even if so if it's an earned foul *grin*, I can still find a way to enjoy. I'm almost among the living again. Almost. Loverly. This has been a terribly great summer, even with the hiccups. Most of the hiccups have been earned, the others, like the medicine, were understood and dealt with as aptly as my notions allow. My perfectionism needs to be tweaked down just a bit though, but... that's... a normal preoccupation, one many of you understand, in your own areas.
Well... on to waking up! Oh, and good morning. Now... hop to it, hoppers! *smile*
.
To bed by 1:00 to 1:30. It was sort of easy but messy. My body does not want to go down, even when tired. I was weary. I was ready for bed. But something just... like a child that you know needs sleep but just won't go down. Still, it worked. Rocked and rolled a bit, but hit my stride before too awful long. I set the alarm for 9:00. Had to fight to wake, and didn't actually claw my way out of the sack until 9:30-9:45, but I was trying to whole time. Mostly. Wrestling a bull by the horns. That is what my body is. I suppose I could get a cattle prod, but... Nah.
I'll be getting a shower, I think, within the hour. Then figuring out what I need from town. Cream, coffee, tobacco, irrigation parts, and I need to get my friend out shopping. But before all of that, medicines. I have been doing very well with that stuff lately. I think part of my drop was from going to partial meds to avoid a cold turkey event, which was fine. But going back to full dose was more of a challenge than I may have thought it would be. Not quite raising a full dose, but... like with a deadlift, that last push in the heaviest bracket one works up to, after tiring out getting up to that push, is... a bit of a trick. It'll take the last of what you have out of you. And, so it did. But I'm about ready to get back into the game.
I've been able to keep the cave cool, and remembering what to do, and when, and then doing it. Just a little bit, at the right time, saves me a lot of pain when trying to cool off after I've cooked. Once cooked, unbaking is a very difficult chore. When I bake, that leads to insomnia and quickly. It's a major stress. When I am ready for it, and do it early in the day, it is great. But when I am that way nearing bedtime it can get ugly.
On the good side, the little struggles haven't been terribly awful. I have been enjoying the leisure time, other than the want to be doing more. With tasks piled up, I do have to realize, and now do, that I can only do what I can do. So I can back off, and if not in serious pain... even if so if it's an earned foul *grin*, I can still find a way to enjoy. I'm almost among the living again. Almost. Loverly. This has been a terribly great summer, even with the hiccups. Most of the hiccups have been earned, the others, like the medicine, were understood and dealt with as aptly as my notions allow. My perfectionism needs to be tweaked down just a bit though, but... that's... a normal preoccupation, one many of you understand, in your own areas.
Well... on to waking up! Oh, and good morning. Now... hop to it, hoppers! *smile*
Monday, June 30, 2014
I forgot.
.
.
Tonight is a meal night. While I think I am doing a bit better today, I did need rest. I had it. I used the AC right around midday for a bit. Along with the fans it kept me from slowly cooking. I may actually need to run it just a bit again. The afternoons can... do some sort of reheating trick. Medicines are going down easily, well, and regularly. I couldn't do much today, but I will get to town tomorrow. Oh, and I best water my plants.
I made dinner, but it was just rehydrated beef stroganoff. I was just having a bite when... I thought I heard the phone. They had tried to call several times. It was just in the other room. But the way the fans were set I simply couldn't hear it until that point. When I heard that dinner was on the way I just set the other stuff aside. Glad I did, too. Tuna mac casserole? I don't make that. For two very good reasons. One, I am too impatient. Two, I never get casseroles right. Most people don't. Mush. Not this. I do not think I have tasted al dente tuna mac casserole, until tonight. I mean perfect. I love the stuff, when done right, and it was. On top of that? Fresh spinach out of the garden just today! I do feel spoiled. I don't brag every night, because I think that might seem rude. But I eat quite well.
I may try to tinker in the bathroom yet tonight, just changing the valves. But that will pretty much be it. My hope is to get to bed by midnight, or 1:00, earlier if at all possible. Then wake around 8:00 to 9:00, at the latest. That will be pushing back my schedule. It is possible, just not probable. In any case, tomorrow I need to get to town, buy some things, and get my friend out. He has some shopping, it seems, to be done. We can do that. Plus... I think he gets to feeling cooped up. I'll get him out. I need and want to get out too.
Yeah, not much... but... It could be much worse. Later.
.
Tonight is a meal night. While I think I am doing a bit better today, I did need rest. I had it. I used the AC right around midday for a bit. Along with the fans it kept me from slowly cooking. I may actually need to run it just a bit again. The afternoons can... do some sort of reheating trick. Medicines are going down easily, well, and regularly. I couldn't do much today, but I will get to town tomorrow. Oh, and I best water my plants.
I made dinner, but it was just rehydrated beef stroganoff. I was just having a bite when... I thought I heard the phone. They had tried to call several times. It was just in the other room. But the way the fans were set I simply couldn't hear it until that point. When I heard that dinner was on the way I just set the other stuff aside. Glad I did, too. Tuna mac casserole? I don't make that. For two very good reasons. One, I am too impatient. Two, I never get casseroles right. Most people don't. Mush. Not this. I do not think I have tasted al dente tuna mac casserole, until tonight. I mean perfect. I love the stuff, when done right, and it was. On top of that? Fresh spinach out of the garden just today! I do feel spoiled. I don't brag every night, because I think that might seem rude. But I eat quite well.
I may try to tinker in the bathroom yet tonight, just changing the valves. But that will pretty much be it. My hope is to get to bed by midnight, or 1:00, earlier if at all possible. Then wake around 8:00 to 9:00, at the latest. That will be pushing back my schedule. It is possible, just not probable. In any case, tomorrow I need to get to town, buy some things, and get my friend out. He has some shopping, it seems, to be done. We can do that. Plus... I think he gets to feeling cooped up. I'll get him out. I need and want to get out too.
Yeah, not much... but... It could be much worse. Later.
Haiku Event - Power
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.
Haiku is still happening. Simply it happens as it happens, without schedule and as it goes. Whoever is willing to take the wheel gets to drive. It seems foam had a motivating factor, and is up here. It shook her up a bit, and... that works to get things going sometimes. I'm just glad the damages were what they were. No wounds, no bleeding, no pain, for her, this time. Aye, but the theme is from the event.
Just a bit of definition. Not being argumentative so much as expressing a sense of things. I like things defined.
The power of nature seems immense. And, in our current state, it is. Only because we... chose to be feeble. But, as things stand, nature is and can be devastating.
.
Haiku is still happening. Simply it happens as it happens, without schedule and as it goes. Whoever is willing to take the wheel gets to drive. It seems foam had a motivating factor, and is up here. It shook her up a bit, and... that works to get things going sometimes. I'm just glad the damages were what they were. No wounds, no bleeding, no pain, for her, this time. Aye, but the theme is from the event.
Just a bit of definition. Not being argumentative so much as expressing a sense of things. I like things defined.
authority isn't
strength, destruction, or chaos
it is creative
The power of nature seems immense. And, in our current state, it is. Only because we... chose to be feeble. But, as things stand, nature is and can be devastating.
lives in the balance
this way, or that, or moments
fate, whim, luck - amen
terrible beauty
a storm, tree, beast, or ourselves
fall, stars, stripes - coffin
Ha ha ha!
.
.
It always surprises me when people do what they do. They know better, but... I had a short attack on my computer today. I know why, and who... or who initiated it. I'm not sure he has the actual tech mojo. Actually, there were two different types of attacks. One of them was an attack on a game I play, one referenced in a recent post. Pisses me off, but doesn't interfere. I've learned how to work through it. Further, because it annoys me, it means the reason for the attack will definitely not go forward. I have explained this several times. Don't cross Doom. If I am on the machine, I am needing to be. Either because I can't do much else, or to sort... something... or some things. DON'T interfere. The other type of attack... just went to my notions on certain types of women. Added evidence if I needed, though it isn't needed. But it does work to make the perp know, without a doubt, why what I say is true. She'll have to dig deeper into lies to escape it. *smooch*
The other thing, recently, was finally, for sure, figuring out a nom de plume. Or... things about it. I suspected that it was a woman playing a man. But recent posts that must be seen as crushing to feminism have caused her to finally show her colors, this time I was aware enough, and looking closely enough, to see through the mask. I was pretty sure before, now I know. Women can't help themselves. If they feel wounded, they will retaliate. No matter how flowery the words, or how passive they try to make the attack, it is obvious to those who know. And, yes, I know. Not that I give a squat always, especially if what I write is correct. And it was. So I played with that fish a little bit, then pulled off her mask for all to see, then sent her on her way with minor spanks. Women aren't the best with logic, throw in being peeved and they are absolutely defenseless. Yum!
Gosh, I love my job! And, yes, as I have told you a thousand times, I can see into the dark. I don't need tech. I don't need eyes. I just need a voice of some sort that my mind can perceive, and, if interested and able, I'll look. And I will see. Yes, I am looking right at you, right now. Yeah, sometimes, when it doesn't cause me to bleed too much, looking is quite a little joy. I don't just see you, by the way, I hear you, sense your thoughts and emotions, and I might even... send a little feedback if I am right on time and you are open to it. Don't be surprised, and don't write that off as... the wind. It's me. Probably laughing. As I said... squat. Don't care. Just makes me chuckle. Who's your daddy? *laughs*
.
It always surprises me when people do what they do. They know better, but... I had a short attack on my computer today. I know why, and who... or who initiated it. I'm not sure he has the actual tech mojo. Actually, there were two different types of attacks. One of them was an attack on a game I play, one referenced in a recent post. Pisses me off, but doesn't interfere. I've learned how to work through it. Further, because it annoys me, it means the reason for the attack will definitely not go forward. I have explained this several times. Don't cross Doom. If I am on the machine, I am needing to be. Either because I can't do much else, or to sort... something... or some things. DON'T interfere. The other type of attack... just went to my notions on certain types of women. Added evidence if I needed, though it isn't needed. But it does work to make the perp know, without a doubt, why what I say is true. She'll have to dig deeper into lies to escape it. *smooch*
The other thing, recently, was finally, for sure, figuring out a nom de plume. Or... things about it. I suspected that it was a woman playing a man. But recent posts that must be seen as crushing to feminism have caused her to finally show her colors, this time I was aware enough, and looking closely enough, to see through the mask. I was pretty sure before, now I know. Women can't help themselves. If they feel wounded, they will retaliate. No matter how flowery the words, or how passive they try to make the attack, it is obvious to those who know. And, yes, I know. Not that I give a squat always, especially if what I write is correct. And it was. So I played with that fish a little bit, then pulled off her mask for all to see, then sent her on her way with minor spanks. Women aren't the best with logic, throw in being peeved and they are absolutely defenseless. Yum!
Gosh, I love my job! And, yes, as I have told you a thousand times, I can see into the dark. I don't need tech. I don't need eyes. I just need a voice of some sort that my mind can perceive, and, if interested and able, I'll look. And I will see. Yes, I am looking right at you, right now. Yeah, sometimes, when it doesn't cause me to bleed too much, looking is quite a little joy. I don't just see you, by the way, I hear you, sense your thoughts and emotions, and I might even... send a little feedback if I am right on time and you are open to it. Don't be surprised, and don't write that off as... the wind. It's me. Probably laughing. As I said... squat. Don't care. Just makes me chuckle. Who's your daddy? *laughs*
What I was feeling yesterday...
.
.
wasn't a bottoming out. It was the drop. I think I hit bottom today. This morning. As I was waking. Or not. Maybe a couple of dreams and being a little tired got to me. I'll know after a bit of waking time. I have been taking all medicines, regularly, for I think three days now, but something is off. I know I was missing pretty badly, as I was fearing a cold turkey drop anyway. The waterpill and losartin took a long time to arrive. No, I won't harsh on the V.A., these medicines are going through rolling blackouts. With nobody paying but barely over, and just, production costs, no one really wants to make a number of these medicines. People are going to learn, very quickly, that because socialized medicine doesn't pay, no one will do it. That work certainly won't afford unions. There is nothing left over to pay workers from retirement to death, let alone the overpayment they get for subpar work and a contracts that create and enforce inefficiency. Expect nationalization and further declines. Yeah, I wake happy don't I?
Two of the last three evenings I have had to remove my chastity ring as my fingers were swelling well beyond comfort. As before, last night I was barely able to remove it in time. No, no extra salt. I'm not doing any other thing any differently. If anything, I am eating less, drinking less... hmm... that last? I never know. I have become much tighter in life because I have had to pursue every channel, look at every action, review thoughts and interactions, looking for clue. First because the idiots told me I was crazy. After I realized they were charlatans, then I had to start tracking things physical. The emotional stuff... spiritual angst... that is what it is. But the physical stuff I can, and do, track. Of course, the last step, after decades of serious reflection? Is to pull back and realize the world isn't about me. Solipsism, is it? And, some of that has to stay. Basically I have to be rather connected with my body, to tend problems. And those other dips... all I can see is pain, and that forces one into a singular universe. But... I can begin cutting ties where possible.
Interesting dreams last night. I really tried to hold on to one of them, but... I still have some of it. One of the things I noted in it, and believe while awake, is that even Republicans in government don't honestly give a hoot about Benghazi. Oh, they'll use it, if it gets the yahoos (that's voters to you and me) to join their camp. They will grandstand, and do the rage boy thing. But, really? They don't care. Or about much else that is going on. They are busy becoming legacy politicians and commuting the crime of insider trading, a crime they have legalized for themselves, and creating legislation that makes that lucrative. If not for them, directly, then through their families and friends. They don't have time for these damned constitutional and sovereign issues! People die every day, making them money and such, don't you know! Seriously, we don't have friends there. It looks like Rand has pretty much sold out, if that wasn't the gig from the start. And his pop was probably more about splitting the Republican vote than anything serious. As if any of it mattered. A spoiler for Obama, he knew he would never win. Just politics, and money. A vipers nest.
Today? Don't know. I needed a lot of sleep. I did get to bed a bit early, and slept okay. But I still woke rather late. A long sleep. I need to call about that faucet. So I'll look for the number shortly. I may make a trip to town if I can get going in a few hours. A few domestic needs and hose staples is all, but they are needed. I just need a little time to wake. Zapped, but... maybe coming around. Later.
.
wasn't a bottoming out. It was the drop. I think I hit bottom today. This morning. As I was waking. Or not. Maybe a couple of dreams and being a little tired got to me. I'll know after a bit of waking time. I have been taking all medicines, regularly, for I think three days now, but something is off. I know I was missing pretty badly, as I was fearing a cold turkey drop anyway. The waterpill and losartin took a long time to arrive. No, I won't harsh on the V.A., these medicines are going through rolling blackouts. With nobody paying but barely over, and just, production costs, no one really wants to make a number of these medicines. People are going to learn, very quickly, that because socialized medicine doesn't pay, no one will do it. That work certainly won't afford unions. There is nothing left over to pay workers from retirement to death, let alone the overpayment they get for subpar work and a contracts that create and enforce inefficiency. Expect nationalization and further declines. Yeah, I wake happy don't I?
Two of the last three evenings I have had to remove my chastity ring as my fingers were swelling well beyond comfort. As before, last night I was barely able to remove it in time. No, no extra salt. I'm not doing any other thing any differently. If anything, I am eating less, drinking less... hmm... that last? I never know. I have become much tighter in life because I have had to pursue every channel, look at every action, review thoughts and interactions, looking for clue. First because the idiots told me I was crazy. After I realized they were charlatans, then I had to start tracking things physical. The emotional stuff... spiritual angst... that is what it is. But the physical stuff I can, and do, track. Of course, the last step, after decades of serious reflection? Is to pull back and realize the world isn't about me. Solipsism, is it? And, some of that has to stay. Basically I have to be rather connected with my body, to tend problems. And those other dips... all I can see is pain, and that forces one into a singular universe. But... I can begin cutting ties where possible.
Interesting dreams last night. I really tried to hold on to one of them, but... I still have some of it. One of the things I noted in it, and believe while awake, is that even Republicans in government don't honestly give a hoot about Benghazi. Oh, they'll use it, if it gets the yahoos (that's voters to you and me) to join their camp. They will grandstand, and do the rage boy thing. But, really? They don't care. Or about much else that is going on. They are busy becoming legacy politicians and commuting the crime of insider trading, a crime they have legalized for themselves, and creating legislation that makes that lucrative. If not for them, directly, then through their families and friends. They don't have time for these damned constitutional and sovereign issues! People die every day, making them money and such, don't you know! Seriously, we don't have friends there. It looks like Rand has pretty much sold out, if that wasn't the gig from the start. And his pop was probably more about splitting the Republican vote than anything serious. As if any of it mattered. A spoiler for Obama, he knew he would never win. Just politics, and money. A vipers nest.
Today? Don't know. I needed a lot of sleep. I did get to bed a bit early, and slept okay. But I still woke rather late. A long sleep. I need to call about that faucet. So I'll look for the number shortly. I may make a trip to town if I can get going in a few hours. A few domestic needs and hose staples is all, but they are needed. I just need a little time to wake. Zapped, but... maybe coming around. Later.
Some days are difficult.
.
.
It wasn't the assessment from the last post. I honestly don't let that sway me. Perhaps it was just the heat. It was too hot today to do much. I never got around to cycling the ac. I forget that it is getting hot, like a frog in a slowly heating pan of water. By the time I realize the problem my goose is cooked. So it went. But that isn't all of it. The worst of it was a humbling understand.
While I am working more often, and sort of getting things done, I realized I am still, quite often, in a fog. I can, sort of, sometimes, focus enough to do a few things. But if I try to switch to another subject or project, I can easily become baffled. My retorts can be quite harsh, when I am not thinking, or able to think. Though I think they are true enough, so I don't worry. Satan is the greatest diplomat. Smooth. I am not smooth and have little wish to be. My way is sort of a bug repellant. The truth will hurt, some can't take any pain. Thin skinned to the bone. Not my style either.
Yeah, I think it is that last that is bugging me. Oh, I'll take some function over no function, certainly. I had... just... for a while... thought I had made it to a plateau. A higher plain of function. And, perhaps I did. But if I did that is somewhat failing, or gone. Oh, I'll keep at it. Sometimes, as with sports practice, pushing beyond exhaustion is where much of the muscle memory will come. Push too far past and you may well dull the skills being sought though too. Balance. I just don't have cues that really track every time. I don't know when I am just being lazy and when I really can't function without risking taking me out of action for a long time. Sometimes I can't even push to push, though, so...
It's a harsh life. I hope you never get this trapped. There isn't a way out and I can't seem to just die. Of, fie, I'll keep at it. I'm going to try to sleep a bit earlier tonight. I hope I can. I feel as if I can. Good night.
.
It wasn't the assessment from the last post. I honestly don't let that sway me. Perhaps it was just the heat. It was too hot today to do much. I never got around to cycling the ac. I forget that it is getting hot, like a frog in a slowly heating pan of water. By the time I realize the problem my goose is cooked. So it went. But that isn't all of it. The worst of it was a humbling understand.
While I am working more often, and sort of getting things done, I realized I am still, quite often, in a fog. I can, sort of, sometimes, focus enough to do a few things. But if I try to switch to another subject or project, I can easily become baffled. My retorts can be quite harsh, when I am not thinking, or able to think. Though I think they are true enough, so I don't worry. Satan is the greatest diplomat. Smooth. I am not smooth and have little wish to be. My way is sort of a bug repellant. The truth will hurt, some can't take any pain. Thin skinned to the bone. Not my style either.
Yeah, I think it is that last that is bugging me. Oh, I'll take some function over no function, certainly. I had... just... for a while... thought I had made it to a plateau. A higher plain of function. And, perhaps I did. But if I did that is somewhat failing, or gone. Oh, I'll keep at it. Sometimes, as with sports practice, pushing beyond exhaustion is where much of the muscle memory will come. Push too far past and you may well dull the skills being sought though too. Balance. I just don't have cues that really track every time. I don't know when I am just being lazy and when I really can't function without risking taking me out of action for a long time. Sometimes I can't even push to push, though, so...
It's a harsh life. I hope you never get this trapped. There isn't a way out and I can't seem to just die. Of, fie, I'll keep at it. I'm going to try to sleep a bit earlier tonight. I hope I can. I feel as if I can. Good night.
Sunday, June 29, 2014
Not sure what gives...
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.
Other than my friend and his friend and my mother, at least from what I can tell, for the last week interactions online and off have been... quite negative. I'm not sure if it's just a collective grump or if I have pulled and plugged, burning bridges and upsetting applecarts. Both online and in real life, business and social. I don't really worry about it until someone starts shooting, mostly. I won't change my views, can't, really. I don't even base my views on my wants, or feelings. What I want is not what reality is. But telling people as it is, and will be, and was, in this hyper sensitive world we have been forced into... Ah, I have to remember... not long ago, a writer suggested something along the lines that when it all goes to hell, truth will be the new sin. Uhrm, give or take but close enough. Funny thing is... he was a progressive. I'm not sure if that was a fear or a hope. I suppose some progressives actually thought, and of course still think, this is better. Then again, progressives hate the truth. So... Do the math on your own, though I suspect all progressives have some entanglements in both, whichever works to get the blue pill, and the stench of human corpses it causes and will continue to create, down.
Yeah, so, I don't care. I am simply taking notes. And... trying to watch just a bit more carefully. Hmm, my support of the recent excommunication of the LDS woman who was trying to force women into the priesthood in their church probably doesn't win me any favors in the female community around here. I know this woman was not alone, is not the only one. That she dared tells me there is a cesspool of feminism bubbling... well past bubbling, but... up to the surface. She just thought she would try the direct way before she does whatever she will do next. I am not sure if she thought it would work, or if this was a publicity stunt. And I doubt if she did this on her own. She was put up to it, most likely. NOW? I must admit, I was highly impressed with their church in this. Wasn't sure they had it in them. It would be good if my church would use this method a bit more often. Use it on me, you ask? If I am that wrong, yes. I don't know about the Mormon methods, but in Catholicism, it is not a rebuke but a teaching tool for those who refuse any other means. They, if they feel bad about it, they have two choices. Learn and be guided back, or go their own way. My guess is their method is similar. I would figure it out and be taught. Many won't. It is actually for the salvation of the soul, which is why I condone it's use.
But, nagging about the plumbing and some other things seems to have caught some attention. I really don't understand, however. If reading here honestly gives people hiccups, then... why do so? It seems that readership is way down. The last couple of weeks have been pretty dry. That actually is a happy thing, for me. Only... the numbers are lower but... some things remain the same. It's got me puzzled. Perhaps more people are using software, hardware maybe, and other things, that keep blogger from tracking. Don't know, but it's odd. It's just a journal anyway. I write whatever I think, see, feel, as I am so disposed. It just isn't secured. Tried that but it didn't keep the wrong ones out, so...
Whatevs... you read here, you don't like it? Blow. You can be as unhappy as you wish, just be respectful. What is not tolerable is not tolerated, whether by tongue or hand I will learn you if you step over that line. Yes, docile. Yes, old, ill, weak, and humbled by all that. But still more than a small group of men should mess with physically or a herd of hens should try to take down verbally. Don't go there. As for your progressive stances? They will die in a world of hurt if you get your way, right to totalitarianism which it inexorably leads. Further, that leads to disaster. Russia and China will not, for at least centuries, even have a chance at recovery... just from the murder of their best and brightest by the jealous deceitful hateful thugs progressives forced into power. Or, if I think it is beyond recall, my way... a more reasoned stance in the world, where credit is only given where it is earned. Those who can't earn it are relegated to lower tiers. Those who can't even do that must make do with charity, not wealth redistribution as is the case now. But not by prejudice, by logic, function, and truth. Things, as I have mentioned, are hated by those who believe they simply deserve whatever they can force others to give them. That's why women and minorities are so connected.
If I am going to be hated, lets get it done with. Yum. One last thing... what do you think truth is? It's God, an aspect of Him in any case. If you reject truth, you do reject God. There is no other way. Now... scoot.
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Down late, looks like my days and nights might be spinning.
.
.
I tried, and wanted to, go to bed at about 21:00 and change. Didn't work. I stayed in there until about 23:30 and finally surrendered. A sip, just one, thinking that might help. And, I suspect, it did. But help isn't all that much. It was cool enough. I was ready for bed, tired and of the right kind. It just wouldn't happen. I can't swear when I was finally able to go down, but it was after 2:00 and before 4:00, I believe. So be it. I'll just have to work my days and nights around again. I could try to push the time back. I have done that a few times. But it doesn't last. Still, it's a powerful thing, for me. A recent stupid pet trick, but just a gimmick so far. Well... it's something to do anyway.
Today? Oh, right, valves in the bathroom and perhaps a bit of tinkering on the faucet. I didn't get the tie downs for the hoses, and I need some other things from the grocery store, so I might make a trip into town for those things. I would like to get those plants in the ground. Ugh...
For the last two weeks I have been playing hit and miss with my medicines. Morning meds, check. But then insulin or night meds, or both would be missed. Night meds but not morning. This or that. I just couldn't keep it together. Then again I knew I was running dry, and my mind... almost automatically... slows things so that I don't end up dropping cold turkey. Everything is finally in, and I did set up my medset, but it takes a while to get that feral survival instinct to back off. It, unlike me, is not an avid fan of pain. It seeks the least pain, anyway, and only goes after the pains that are somehow helpful. Fair enough. If I consciously go down, it is the side that has had to deal with the bulk of the pain. I don't think the painkillers that help me, help it, either. Strange things, but... true enough I think.
I can't make heads or tails of my visitor log on blogger. Today, for example, it says I have had four traffic sources, 30 pageviews as the official count, and 38 pageviews according to browser type, nation, and OS. None of them ever add up. I really ought to look into what's what on there, though probably they keep their nuts and bolts regarding counting as a strict trade secret or some such. It's definitely for them, and their marketing most likely, in house stats, for publishing to advertisers, or for something else entirely is a real question. They can't be accurate or precise though. Half of those who comment don't show up as having visited. Sometimes Desert Cat doesn't show up, and foam never shows up on the radar. Neither does Serendipity, and a few from when haiku was in full swing. Whatever. It's just irritating.
Well, plumbing, assuming I can kick it over. Trash will be set to go as well, before I head to town, if I head to town. If I want to go to town and get what I want, I best go soon though. Later.
.
I tried, and wanted to, go to bed at about 21:00 and change. Didn't work. I stayed in there until about 23:30 and finally surrendered. A sip, just one, thinking that might help. And, I suspect, it did. But help isn't all that much. It was cool enough. I was ready for bed, tired and of the right kind. It just wouldn't happen. I can't swear when I was finally able to go down, but it was after 2:00 and before 4:00, I believe. So be it. I'll just have to work my days and nights around again. I could try to push the time back. I have done that a few times. But it doesn't last. Still, it's a powerful thing, for me. A recent stupid pet trick, but just a gimmick so far. Well... it's something to do anyway.
Today? Oh, right, valves in the bathroom and perhaps a bit of tinkering on the faucet. I didn't get the tie downs for the hoses, and I need some other things from the grocery store, so I might make a trip into town for those things. I would like to get those plants in the ground. Ugh...
For the last two weeks I have been playing hit and miss with my medicines. Morning meds, check. But then insulin or night meds, or both would be missed. Night meds but not morning. This or that. I just couldn't keep it together. Then again I knew I was running dry, and my mind... almost automatically... slows things so that I don't end up dropping cold turkey. Everything is finally in, and I did set up my medset, but it takes a while to get that feral survival instinct to back off. It, unlike me, is not an avid fan of pain. It seeks the least pain, anyway, and only goes after the pains that are somehow helpful. Fair enough. If I consciously go down, it is the side that has had to deal with the bulk of the pain. I don't think the painkillers that help me, help it, either. Strange things, but... true enough I think.
I can't make heads or tails of my visitor log on blogger. Today, for example, it says I have had four traffic sources, 30 pageviews as the official count, and 38 pageviews according to browser type, nation, and OS. None of them ever add up. I really ought to look into what's what on there, though probably they keep their nuts and bolts regarding counting as a strict trade secret or some such. It's definitely for them, and their marketing most likely, in house stats, for publishing to advertisers, or for something else entirely is a real question. They can't be accurate or precise though. Half of those who comment don't show up as having visited. Sometimes Desert Cat doesn't show up, and foam never shows up on the radar. Neither does Serendipity, and a few from when haiku was in full swing. Whatever. It's just irritating.
Well, plumbing, assuming I can kick it over. Trash will be set to go as well, before I head to town, if I head to town. If I want to go to town and get what I want, I best go soon though. Later.
Addictions.
.
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It could be worse. I could be able to feed them until even my luck ran out. Still, I probably feed them well beyond most, certainly far beyond most of those who could be on the heart transplant list.
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It could be worse. I could be able to feed them until even my luck ran out. Still, I probably feed them well beyond most, certainly far beyond most of those who could be on the heart transplant list.
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