Help arrived.

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Branches.  I mean a lot of them.  Plus, he cut many high level branches I couldn't reach.  I checked my chainsaw.  The sprocket washer seemed okay, just a little loose?  I tightened that on my way out, but didn't finish it.  I showed it to the man, he finished it.  It worked perfectly after.

So I helped cut and stack, to my limit and more.  At a point, all I could do was slowly help stack.  Only did that far for shame at not having these things done already.

Up, almost going.

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Windows shut, upstairs.  Opened down here.  Oh, and thought to open the main doors, allowing screen doors to let more fresh, and cool, air in.  Very nice.  It is 74 in here, would be cooler if I had opened up last night.  And, yes, that helps.

Water going, coffee set up, mine made.  Ice machine going.  No food, other than the fatted coffee.  But I continue to take bitters, right before coffee.  To keep nausea well in check.

Just nearing five.

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I'll set up tea, coffee if that isn't going.  Make my own coffee.  Eat something?  No.  Planning on french toast, using the keto bread, and fried eggs?  I want eggs with them anyway.  Push a batch of water through, and start the ice machine.

Odd, while temperature highs remain in the high eighties to low-mid nineties, mom is going through a lot less ice.  Same insulated tumbler.  Same amount of tea.  Fewer higher heat hours?  Still working outside quite often.  It is still high summer, just not as high?  Other factors definitely at play.

I think I have it.

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The chainsaw problem.  I'll need to check a few things, rounding of the gears, such.  But I am sure.  I was certain I put the chain on correctly.  And that everything was right.  But the chain jumped the track very quickly to immediately after contact.

This y.t. vid may have the problem and possible fix.  I don't have a metal lathe, but with deets, might be able to shop one.  Or just work the one on it with a sledge hammer and anvil.  Will check, soon.

Good night, for sure, this time.

Sleeping.

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I heard, and as much felt, a thud.  A big one.  Woke me, if it took a bit.  Even with lots of sleep, a dying body is always tired.  Had to force my way to consciousness.  Had to get up, to check on mom.  Duty, but more.  Concern, simple compassion, things like that.

It hurt to get up.  It was so difficult to get up.  To dress.  But I was worried.  Have you ever seen a grandparent "hurry"?  Well, that is my current pace, most of the time.  Now, when waking midsleep, double... or half that.  You know what I mean.

Up early.

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Beside waking for just a bit, around midnight, I made it out of bed a bit before six.  Half?  A quarter to?  I had coffee, water, and just tried to wake.  Not well, but I stayed up.

Mom came out around seven.  While she was getting up, I asked if she was ready for me to start her coffee.  Oh, yes.  Very ready.  I set up her chocolate peptide/colagen, for her first cup.  It's helping her, I think.

Unsure.

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Not sure if mother just didn't call me, or if I couldn't hear her.  Kidneys are back down to 15% function.  Doc seems to think that may be why I am so exhausted.  She says it is a very typical association.  Toss in probable liver low function (they don't seem to have tested the liver panel, again? or it didn't show for her).  However, it was between stage two and three failure the last time they checked.

Doctors hate when I sluff off such news, or am happy at stage two.  Even when I inform them that it had been stage three or four... or as with kidneys currently running into stage five failure.  Stage two is good news, for some of us.  They still don't... like it.  It's not a matter of liking.  No one likes it.  Just, comparative levels is all.

Toss in whatever rate the heart failure is currently running, and that I get up a few times a day, for a while?  Let alone set up a forty foot ladder, cut branches, and fall between one and two of my heights, onto my back flank upper torso, and mostly just shake it off?  Meh.

I did make a mistake.  I cut the water pill.  By sounds of all, and from testing, that was probably a mistake.  So, back to one whole pill, and maybe back to two if that doesn't work.

After the doc, to the grocery store.  Then to look at a storage option.  Will probably go that way.  Will see.  Then to Idaho, and the dairy, returning home, and bringing everything in right away.  Then I  crashed.  Just early afternoon.  13:00 to 15:00?  Earlier part of that, I think.  So tired, short term memory couldn't work.

May get up.  Kefir, water, not much else.  Then right back to bed?  Maybe feed Sassy, do a few chores.  Skipping coffee.  I am having bitters with coffee, lately.  Not as needed, or needed at all.  Just... cautionary treatments for potential nausea.  That is a rough thing to go through.  I will get another few bottles of the stuff.  Keep it unopened, in the fridge, for future problems.  Good stuff, if you need it.

Later.

The last of the branches.

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I had four more larger branches to bring down.  While I allowed mom to be out there, if she didn't (and she didn't) try to command the operation.  If she didn't like the pitch or perch of the ladder, before I went up, that was fine.  But, once aloft, other than a warning of a problem, no talking.

She greenlighted the ladder, but I wan't satisfied.  I worked it a bit more, for the second and third cuts.  Went fairly well, if we got out later, and it was beginning to heat up.  I really need to work early, or nearing dark in the evening.  But... got to it.

Up for a bit.

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I woke at 23:30.  Mother was just going to bed, crazy bird.  Driven to sort, arrange, clean, and else.  There is some hope I will be more able to help her as weather cools, unless medicine needs a higher dose.  And it may.  Then it might be another several weeks or even months.  Until I adjust to them, medicines are brutal.

If you didn't read, I spent five years, more?  Working with doctors to find medicines I could even tolerate to this level.  Though, if I don't quit them, and idiot doctors don't cancel them, I do fairly well on them... after that massive if mostly temporary bump.  Though a break, for a few days, from time to time, helps.

Yes, better.

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Still favoring my right "wing".  Not lifting too much, or stretching with the right arm, too much.  Mostly out of caution.  It might yet prove problematic.  It was, I think, the side I used to grab, and break my fall, as well as the side I landed on.

But it isn't hurting.  There is the scratch/puncture, but that isn't bothering me.  Other than just sensing that it exists.

Hmm?

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All better?  I... think so.  The scratch/puncture/hard bruise mix under the arm is... but a scratch.  Will watch and feel for infection.  But... it's fine.  The leg is good.  No pulled arm or chest muscles.  All the other little, medium, and large hurts, wounds, and suspected damages... are gone.  

Broken skin is still broken.  But else evaporated as I slept or simply never materialized.  If it wasn't so blasted hot out there, I'd get back to it.  If it cools, I will reset the ladder to the v, rather than extension form, yet this evening.

And, if that went well, might shimmy up to finish.  At least the front tree cutting.  I won't push beyond.  If, that is, I can do either... when it cools.  So be it.

Quite the fall.

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Tried to get up at seven.  Didn't make it up until eight thirty.  Breakfast, bacon and some eggs.  I did eggs.  Trying to get those right.  Botched one, but due to the spatula cutting, not overdoing.  I took that one.  Made four more just right.  Mom made the bacon.

Talked about what to do.  Trimming, she thought.  Tree branches.  In the drive and over the garage.  I got meds in, the ladder out, and the chainsaw.  Three, four, fuve, maybe six branches down.

Then, up, above my height and a half to two times it, feeling pretty confident, I... took risks I really shouldn't have.  The ladder slid, I slid, then... a long long drop.  Still holding the saw (not running, if expensive), so with only one hand free, I grabbed... something.  The ladder?  A branch?

I hung on, one handed, through the drop.  The first.  It broke that first fall without losing my grip.  But, after doing that, in the next drop, my grip gave.  If the grip slowed that second spin-fall.  At that point I was about my height above the ground.  But swinging so landing on my feet wasn't possible.  I landed on my right side, mostly on my upper torso?

Down.  Hit hard, on my right side.  Between breaking the fall, twice, if with only a one handed grip, and leaves and branches down, that last fall wasn't as bad as first proposed.  Got a pretty good jab under the arm.  Just a scratch, but a bit of a brutal one.  Tore some skin off my other hand.  Bruised my right calf somehow.  Was slightly, but not fully winded.

Not bad, all in all.  Still, I'm calling it for a bit.  I've definitely had worse.  And I did get half the branches cut I want cut.  I'll see if I pulled muscles when I wake.  If not, that is... AWESOME!  One armed double drop stop, and slow?  Even if I pulled something, that's... excellent.

Pain pills and back to bed.  I plan on finishing tomorrow if at all possible.  Might let mom watch, if she can keep from chattering.  I even helped her just a bit with several things before going back on to bed.  Writing in bed, if that didn't make sense.  Later.

Just a bit.

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Not much the whole day.  Medicine in.  Chuck roast for supper.  Helped mom by moving a few totes too heavy for her to move.  Talked about my grandfather's and grandmother's family.  Night meds?  I think so.

Up again later, three wakes through the day.  But just to set up her coffee and tea, run water theough the r.o. machine, and reset kefir this last time.  It is maturing much quicker, the kefir.  With four jars there was enough for kefir and cottage cheese.  Still considering adding another jar of room temp fermenting stuff.  Trying to add just enough to sort enough kefir for me, cottage cheese for her, withouting adding another large refrigerated jar.

I got a larger sip tonight.  Should be able to drink one, occassionally two of those a day, as fast as that is maturing.  But it will slow during fall, and especially winter.  Will probably need one or two more jars this winter.

I was telling mother, that in the winter, I keep the house as warm as 75.  She was a bit surprised.  Shocked.  Though I am working on dressing much warmer, better.  And was getting used to a cooler running body, from eating meat rather than carbs.  Still, I don't think she gets how much cooler it seems at elevation.

We will dress her warmly, marino wool layers, and layering of good materials beyond.  But... I'll bet we'll have to keep it warmer.  Even just for her.  And we will.  If I need it cooler, I have the upstairs.

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Oh, had a double dream.  Sort of?  Triple?

In the first, or first part?  I was up here, sleeping as... well... my other me.  I sensed someone coming up, so went to check.  It seemed like mom, but turned into just a dream within a dream.  I woke from the secondary dream.  Only to then think... a shorter haired women was coming up.  Or an assassin.  One and the same?

She, it, ended up fighting with me, but it was only a mannequin.  Then it dissappeared.

Then I... woke again?  Another dream?  A third layer dream?  Something.  This time, as through all the dreams, I was my alternate self.  Again, I could sense someone coming up.  This time it was Kathy/Cathy's kids (when they were small).  She a cousin, they my second cousins.

I... tried to not let them see me, as I am.  And talk them into going on back.  The younger ones... couldn't... see me as I was.  But the older girl did, could.  I... did get them to go back down, so I could sleep.  I don't want any to see my various... uhrm... natures.

The dream(s) was shadowy, intense, dark, noir, stressful, without fully being a nightmare, or nightmares.  If right on the fringes of that.

I try, in dreams and real life, to keep some things very private.  Sure, you may know me, and thus... this and that, or have some possible understandings.  But I am anon, for a reason, as much as possible.  As much not to publicly support said notions as for some semblances of privacy.

Later...  Or good night.

A few extras.

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A second load going, a few last details, the reservoir filled, another batch of ice.  Then mom woke up.  Wanted to use the bathroom off the kitchen.  Asked me if that was okay?  Of course, it is your home too.  Strange, but okay.

She had a note for me.  I hadn't seen it.  She let me know about the roast.  And wanted me to move a few plastic tubs of her good dishes to near the china closet we set up today.  So I did that as a final task.

I left a note of my own.  Asking she not do my laundry.  I'll finish that tomorrow.  But, if she will, to run the crockpot on high for four hours, then turn it off.  Will see.

Letting Sassy sleep up here tonight.  No ac on.

Good night.

Pretty good.

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A shower.  Laundry started.  Water fills going, more needed than I thought.  Coffee started.  Set up mom's coffee and set out things for sun tea.  Then checking kefir, burping the jars and jugs, in and out of the fridge.  Sampling a bit.  Not a lot of it, so a small drink.  I've started an extra jar.  May require two extra jars to make my wants of kefir and her wants of cottage cheese.  Not a huge difference of time or effort, but may need more milk.  Two gallons rather than two half gallons.  Easy.

Because I like eight to twelve ounces most days.  I really have started to love the stuff.  And it helps me obtain every last bit of nutrient from my other foods... and stay healthier.

I had ham, but thought we might be out of cheese?  Typical cheese, yes.  But there was cream cheese.  A tablespoon of that, in two slices of ham, was about perfect.  Three of those and life was good, with coffee and kefir.

Now, I have had nausea, on the lighter side (mostly) for the last three months.  Definitely since restarting medicine.  Too busy to remember bitters, save on the periphery, or in passing.  I finally ordered some in.  Check.  I started that tonight.

Better?  A bit.  Not as good as hoped.  Will be using it, whether eating or not, if I feel rough.  So tired of nausea.

She put the roast in.  Not started, just in the broth.  But, I saw the paper towels were out, so refilled the spool.  With two people trying, it is easier.

Nearly bedtime again.

Down at 22:00.

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Up around one?  Deciding if I am getting up.

Water needs filtered.  Ice needs to be made.  Trash and recycling needs to go out.  A shower would be good.  A few bites of something would be good, plus coffee and maybe water.  Hmm, water with electrolytes and vinegar.  Sure manages thirst.

Up for supper.

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And more.  A device for washing the siding didn't work. It seemed advertised to work with garden hoses.  No, you need a pressure sprayer.  Had thought a hydrant out back might work, for regular garden/lawn hoses.  Not so much.  Ugh.

At least the brass hose quick connect fittings work.  I wore myslef out doing other things before adding those to all hoses and functional hydrants, etc, out there.  Save a few trials, to make sure.

Quite a bit done.

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Watering, ice machine started, sun tea out, just the crockot cleaned but then the chuck roast going.  Water jugs filled.  What else?  Can't remember all, but a solid run.

Then I talked with mother, while she had her first coffee.  Plans, but for later.  I need to do my laundry.  Plus trying a cleaning system for the siding, and trimming branches, through later afternoon, when I wake again.

She'll be doing a bit out and indoors through the day.  Quite a bit of good going on, being done.  But, now I need rest, sleep actually, again.  Not bad for odd shifts, and strange sleep cycles.  Doing more, better, faster, if still oddly.  Good... day, and night, again.

Watering the lawn.

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Pushing it.  Doesn't look to be overcast.  Still, started before the sun was up and should be done before it is too well up.  Cold out there!  This feels more like late August, or even on into September some years.  Cool, very cool, very early.  It is 68 in the house!  So I closed up downstairs windows and turned off the fans.

That's why I woke up.  My body likes the cool, especially when ill, or dealing with raising medicine to useful levels, both, and more.  I... crave the cool when all else fails.  Didn't need ac last night, just a fan?  Crazy, but super.

That's odd.

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I woke around five.  Looked over this and that, online.  Getting the shopping cart readied.  I'm going to ask mom to buy one of her favored  perfumes, beyond her current plans.  In return, I will buy another.  Slowly get her a small collection.  She uses them, and while moderately spendy, not luxury.  Look, take care of the little things too.

The rest is a mix of a few last clothes, that fit and she liked, sizes sorted, food items I like to keep on hand, and a few minor inexpensive tools I keep not finding... if I should have?  Needle nose pliers, a few sets.  And a set of crescent wrenches.  Much less this month.  And less through the month.

Up at, not for, supper.

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Mom called.  I knew I wasn't going to eat.  Just woke to talk... perhaps do a few things.  The crazy woman has been working.  Cleaning the section of the livingroom floor which she opened and where she wishes her china cabinet set up.  I... was impressed, when I finally woke enough to take a close enough look.

Stains I thought were permanent are gone.  She used a cleaner I bought, hoping to try.  On the good side it works wonders.  And, my larger steam vacuum really does well.  Amazing.  I chose well, just never implemented.

She asked if I would fry her eggs.  I did.  Tried for easy over, ended more done.  Say just hard.  I offered to do them better, but she was happy with what I offered.  Made sure she knew that doing them correctly wasn't a problem.  It was my first time using the small cast fry pan.  And I had just gotten up.  But, no.  I served her corned beef hash, she had frying, and got the condiments she wanted.

Two things, she wanted.  To store my hammock gear and remove some cat litter catching rugs.  I did those.  She wanted to water, I didn't.  I would have to set them up, and... else.  Plus a bit early?

After a bit, though, I did get them set up.  To hit what really needs it.  And, then, after running it, moving them for next time.  It's been a bit since the rest of the front yard got watered to.  Ready with that when it's right.  It is getting green up there.  Save a bit of the yard that was overlooked initially.

I also got water ready for sun tea, jugs and else filled, and kefir turned.  Her cottage cheese is draining.  Not a bad little go.  Tomorrow?  Will see.  I think my plans are setting her up, helping her get going on her things.  Then my laundry.  If I can get those done, good.  Possibly setting watering systems up for a next run?

Oh, and chuck roast should be thawed.  Back to meat for me.  She can pull from that, for whatever she wants.  I will also pull steaks from the deep freeze, drop-in.  Get several in the fridge freezer and one double pack to thaw.  Meat!  Food!!!  Real food again.  She can eat it or not.  Plenty else otherwise.

Not a bad day.  On to sleep.  It was cooler, which really helps.  Hoping for cooler days as fall begins trying to be born.  Overcast and cooler gave me some small second wind... if after struggling to gain my first.

Good night and God bless.