I don't know.

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I did make it to town.  I was more hauling my corpse around than anything else, but it did get hauled.  I found everything on my list, grabbed a meal, and headed home.  Oh, gas and a car wash.  I only went with six cinder blocks, I just didn't have it in me to pick up more.  I was able to find a couple of brass replacement taps, for the water heater, so I didn't have to mess with cutting, or finding the right fixtures or such, as well.  Tired.  Very tired.  Done, perhaps.  After the meal I won't be messing with anything for a bit anyway.  Perhaps a nap before long.

I don't know when I will be able to work again.  I am hoping to get to it after a nap, this first water heater.  I am extremely done in though.  I want a hot shower so badly, and then to do a bit of cleaning.  I just don't have it right now.  I have pushed right on past that edge.  My body is sore and bruised to boot.  On the good side, most of what is left is on the downhill side of things.  Getting the last water heater in, and the two old water heaters out, is the remaining hard work.  And that isn't all that bad since I don't have to worry about breaking glass.  When allowed my druthers, I can yank a horse out if I don't have to worry about breaking anything.  There are walls and a few other things to consider, but it's not glass.

The plants are really doing well.  I have to keep checking them, because one second too long and some of them begin to wilt.  A tablespoon of water right away helps, then a bit more a little later, and they are back on their roots before you might imagine.  Another watering tonight or tomorrow though, just to keep them interested.  I can't wait to see these in the ground though.  I honestly didn't know that I would even make it this far, being what I am and with some history to the contrary.  A row of turnips and kohlrabi, a row of corn, and maybe a patch or two of cucumbers would fill out the peppers and tomatoes nicely.  Figuring out how to keep the weeds at bay, keeping bugs down, figuring out nutrition if needed, learning how and when to water...  It's going to be a bit of a trick.

If I can get this done this year, next year I might be able to go just a bit deeper.  Potatoes, green beans, squash, lettuce, who knows?  Bit by bit though.   What I want to do is grow some food that is mostly for immediate consumption, some that is for simply saving such as potatoes, some that is for canning.  Then learn how to preserve what of it I can, while figuring out seeds too.  This is all about sustainability, up front.  Economy will come, or not.  I won't swear that it is cheaper, especially the way I eat, what I eat.  Then again, a garden might well change the way, and what, I eat.  Fresh tomatoes, though... that's unbeatable.  Hot salsa and sauce, fresh and canned, though, is what this is all about.  Hmm, and, as I said, next will be spices and herbs...  Imagine all fresh herbs in that salsa and sauce!  Assuming any crop survives my tender mercies, the sun, possible drought, hail, bugs, and all else though.  So far so good.

Oh, it looks like gold and silver are coming undone.  Oh, they will hold most of their value, for a while.  But as a hedge tool, their attraction is quickly fading.  As that fades, so too will their value.  Quick or slow, it will happen.  My guess is hard drops, in steps, but you can never tell.  I don't know if the players are cashing out by need or want, or just as possibly the maneuvers by governments is cracking the pots.  The author, I am sure, has his own notions.  As the article suggests, Japanese equities are being hit now.  From these, other commodities are going to be hit.  Oh, yes, they are.  Governments and big money can suspend reality for a bit.  That can't last.  Hold 20 pounds over your head for as long as you can.  When it finally comes down, depending how much you put into holding it, it might well crash down.  Further, your ability to raise it again for some time is lost.  When governments fight the markets, everybody loses.  

Later.

I best get to it!

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Okay, alright, I think I am awake.  I simply have to take a bath, get dressed, and make it to town.  Thankfully I don't have a 17:00 deadline, if I still want to be in and out by then.  My list will go with me, for sure.  I may set that by the back door to make sure it goes.  It isn't huge, but long enough that something would be forgotten.  If you knew where everything was, and didn't have to hunt and peck for every single thing, that would add to going without a list.  But when every single thing is a long-shot hunt and peck, as with this list, forgetting something is guaranteed.

I am a bit rough, of course.  I have been pushing.  I have more pushing to do yet.  I am truly trying to push through so that I can take a day or two off right before my mother arrives.  Just a breather, in prep for a longer length but probably lesser magnitude push.  I don't know if I will get to it.  I don't know if I have enough time.  It depends on when the toilet arrives, how much I can get done today and on each day after, and a number of other factors I simply can't control.  One water heater in today, two of them out of the cave, and the second placed into position though...  If I can do that today I have an extremely good chance at the rest.

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Just not moving fast.  The shower is finally out of the way, here at almost 17:00.  I did check, the store I hope to visit is open until 22:00.  And yet, I wanted to be in, out, home, and working by now.  I've got what I've got though.  I should be happy that I am actually getting to it.  Really.  A day, week, month can go by so fast with nary a blip.  Hmm, yes... a trip in, something to eat, but I can't stop for a visit.  The goal is to have the one hot water heater going before I sleep, maybe in time to get a hot shower before I sleep.

I am telling you what, be happy about your world.  Living just without hot water for a bit and I begin to see "why not" to primitive living.  Now, mind you, my condition doesn't help.  But too, this is just hot water.  Imagine having to cut wood for heat and cooking, to have to produce all your own food, and then to try and make a living over and above that?  Ah, and without transportation as we know it.  Imagine if you had to ride a horse or bicycle to town.  That 23 mile journey just took on a whole new dimension.  While it is free, technically.  No gas needed.  It also takes half a day and a lot of energy.

I have learned some things though.  Keeping a basin of water just for washing hands is good.  Plus I can still use the toilet, I just have to add the water.  That would never change.  I have learned to heat a teapot full of water too.  It all seems simple, but if you don't have experience you have to figure it all out.  I am not the greatest at using little water to wash though.  I will have to learn at Burning Man.  We simply won't have all that much water and there will be no easy, cheap, reasonable way to replenish it.  Then again, if I wash every other day I can double my use.  As is it is taking a gallon and an half to wash my hair and body, plus a pure rinse.  As for streams, those would be too cold even yet.  Life on the native would be a tough walk.  That is for sure.  At least I found out that a cold shower won't kill me.  *grins*  It will kill some with a weak heart, best believe it.

Ah, best get going...  Just... ugh...  Later.

Saturday?

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Yep.  I am up early, too.  The young man who mows arrived.  I am not sure when, but my mind ear heard the mower, and with the notion of what has to be done, jumped as fast as I could to get on the project.  I really can't mow.  Not a large high patch, especially.  My muscles are really tightening, but I still don't have much stamina.  Working on it.  Hmm, I think I was out of bed by, or shortly after noon?  It looks like all will be done.

I need to figure some other things out.  A trip to town is required.  Cinder blocks, silicone calk and gun, galvanized pipe and brass fixtures, thread and joint compound, and maybe pvc glue.  I may look at the plumbing under the sink again.  To be honest, I don't think I glued that in.  Odd that I haven't had a leak.  The luck of the neophyte?  I want to consider adding a auto-vent and a pea trap with a cleanout access.  Yes, yes, a real vent, to the outside, would be fantastic.  Do you have any idea what that would entail?  Actually, I don't.  Not fully I don't.

Well, a vent?  Let me see...  It would take additional piping, enough to go from the drain pipes to the wall, then up through the attic and out onto the roof.  How I would get the pipe in I can't quite say.  Before that I would have to create a hole in the steel roof and the wall, and figure out dimensions, once I found a safe path for the pipe that also connected to the sink plumbing.  Then I would have to figure out how to support the vent pipe, then how to seal it and make it wind and water-proofed, all give or take.  It is, probably, doable.  How much work is involved would depend on if the walls are slat or drywall, how open the spaces behind whatever the wall is for allowing a vent, how much it would take to figure that out with the least amount of damage...  Yes, it... adds up very fast.  For now... an auto vent will do just fine.  It will sure beat having a drain that moves so slow I can't use the sink for an hour, with no vent.  I just have to hope it is merely a venting problem.  I do have a 12 or 20 foot snake though, if needed...  Gah!

Yes, yes, I am actually... getting somewhere, doing some things.  I have lists.  I have plans.  I have tools.  I have most of the hardware, some of the associated stuff, and some knowledge.  It is coming together.  It is getting done.  Even on my lame 'work nickle'.  I don't have much to spend but I am spending it as best as I can.  I'm even loving it.  I'm going broke and then some.  But with food put up, with the home coming into function again, and with some time after Burning Man to catch up...  I'll be fine.  Unless I die.  But then... I'll be better.  I'm just not that lucky.  *grins* 

I still have to wake up.  It looks like the garden will be mowed.  It is a huge area I am opening, but...  It'll be ready for more gardening, if I can get this part going.  Wow, life really hits you sometimes.  Even mostly dead and I can get to a few things.  If you think you can't, look to me.  If I can, you can.  Find that pep, that fire, that desire.  I can only work an hour at a time, max.  That might be it for a day or two sometimes.  Some things have to... be set aside.  Some things don't get done.  But if it's on my list... eventually... it gets hit.  Do it.

Later.

Hot water recovery?

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While looking over some other things, the notion of an heat exchanger came up.  Oh, well, ya, I know about such things.  First, it has been a long time since such things were a thought.  Second, it takes a bit of time to get settled in, before getting on to things.  And finally, I have enough on my plate for the moment.  However, the idea is there.  The price is fairly steep, up front.  I really wasn't sure that it could pay for itself, for me, alone.  Still, with little else to do, and no energy to do much on top of that, I decided to dig around.  I found an idea that might make such a project much less expensive up front.

Wow, still a bit zapped.

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I have been pushing things a bit.  And while I sleep long, getting the bodily furnace to shut down has made my days very long.  Bruises and sore muscles, a kink here and there, and a brain that just will not focus to match a will that has lost it's cohesion.  Aye, down.  But not out.  I might not get a thing done today.  But I think I will tomorrow.  Hmm, maybe one thing.  I am going to do a bit of nosing around to see if there is anything that might work as a water heater stand.  Cinder blocks, bricks, or such might be around hereabouts.  Then again, if I find something I might end up getting to the water heater a bit faster than what I had thought.  If I can find stand material I may just forgo a metal drain pipe, for now.  If I end up having to go to town, though, I might as well make it as I like it, innit.

If my writing, or comments, or responses aren't making sense, just understand I am almost still in a dream state.  I can still do things in this state, if usually I need someone else to help by pointing and clicking.  Go here, do this, and perhaps setting up the operation by collecting supplies so that my side of things is very simple.  And yet, if I can find materials, I will still be able to do more.  I suspect that is because the rest of the processes have been thought through and researched enough that there is little left required to think out and most of the processes are loaded fairly well into temporary wrote.

It is cold, again, today... for the time of year.  The outside thermometer suggests it is in the low 60's.  The sun was out though.  Having the sun out negates cold, mostly, for me.  Just a bit of sun is all it takes, too.  That doesn't fix all that is wrong, but it does... something... something very good for me.  It raises the attitude of the nose?  What I have suggested recently continues to be the way of things.  I seem to be losing altitude, perhaps with a bit of a spin.  But the engines are good, the nose is up, and I am still headed in the right direction.  It would be fun if time and tasks weren't weighing on me.  Even so it isn't all bad.  Well...  Enough for now.  Just... spitting something out since I'm not doing anything else.  Yeah, yeah, I'll start looking for materials right now.

Later.

Nope.  I did see a few very regular rocks, of differing heights though, and I just can't trust them.  Looks are deceiving, and I want two.  One, could, technically, work.  Assuming it was as flat as it seemed and as big as it was.  I just... can't trust it.  So, a trip to town tomorrow.  Cinder blocks seem to be rather inexpensive.  And they can be  handy for a lot of things.  I may just pick up a load of them.  A dozen would give me a little bit to play with if need be.  As well, I will buy a couple of 3/4 galvanized threaded pipes and a brass 3/4 to garden hose fittings.  It is easy to see the problem with plastic, the nib on the old water heaters were terribly beat up.  I could barely get the hose to couple and not without a lot of leaking.

I might be being picky, but if I have to do something I want to try to get it right the first time.  As right as I can.  As much as this is pushing my limits, it is worth it to go just a bit longer, deeper, and more to make it worth my while.  I am sure I am still not getting it just right.  I am sure there will be something I will wish I had done differently.  But this is a first time thing, and no amount of research will cover for experience.  And sometimes you just have to go with what you have, at some point, and live with the results.  I am at that point, mostly.

I am sort of amazed.

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Oh, I slept long and hard.  I woke several times through the day, but never really well and in good ways.  I suspect the girls woke me a time or two, but it was nice and gentle.  Other things woke me from time to time.  I would float to the surface but never quite breach, then gently sink back to oblivion but with a smile.  That was some lush sleep.  I woke, I would guess, about ten or eleven hours after going to bed.  A long sleep, I usually sleep seven to eight hours.  I have tried to control my sleep, but my health precludes that.  If I need twelve hours and don't get it, I can zombifie myself.  Which is fine in the short run with enough stimulus or a director.  No, I sleep what I need, or can.

I know I dreamed.  I couldn't tell you what though.  I tried to hold to a few of them but they would not stay.  Each time I woke enough to try to hold one, though, I had a warm smile on my face and happy or funny thoughts tracing my imagination quotient in some fanciful way, like frost on perfect glass.  There was pain.  I have pushed my body.  I think the sleep and shallow attempts at waking were designed to minimize my pain sensors.  Still just a bit sore this morning, but nowhere near as bad as it could be, or probably was, throughout my sleep.  My body has repaired as well as it could.

I have no idea what I am going to, or even can, do today.  There are a number of things I would like to consider for the water heaters, and general use, before installing.  A platform for the water heaters, would be nice.  As would metal drain plugs.  Nothing fancy, just... a few touches that would be difficult to install later.  I don't know if I will just rest, mostly, today.  I am not sure I have much of a choice.  I could do a few little things, here and there, though, even as a day of rest.

Something that I have noticed though, is that my heart isn't doing the best.  The way I can tell is that scratches do not heal quickly when things aren't working well.  When it takes months for a minor scratch to heal, I know.  Actually that is part of why I used peppermint soap, it helps make sure slow to heal minor wounds do not become infected.  I would use triple antibiotic stuff, and do when I can keep up on it, but... as is obvious from what I just wrote, that isn't always possible.  So using a soap with such properties just... helps keep the system on track and infection free, without having to do extra thinking, more unusual activity, focusing memory to check, and such.  Try it, if you are prone to infections.  But urhm, be gently with the perineal care.  Until you get used to it... Woo!  Woo-hoo-hoo!  Just... saying.  But you do get used to it... mostly.  Woo!

Hmm, on to waking.  Good day. Oh, by dem weg... if I'm not reading blogs enough to please you, understand that I am balancing the world on on shoulder and trying to chug coffee with the pseudo free hand. Reading just isn't terribly possible, mostly, a bit. I go down the line, a few, then drop, picking up later, if I can, where I remember. If I don't visit in a week? Wait longer. My local pal must think I'm ducking him, too. Hmm, best call my mom before she calls out the monster squad on me again. Bleh... Just... give me a sec.

Oh, right, about that Perfect thing?

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Yeah, Pink isn't exactly my cup of tea.  And yet, when rummaging through the music closet in a thematic manner, I ran across it.  I actually didn't mean to play it.  I meant to click it off when I saw who the singer was.  Fate crossed the wires between the "close" and the "play" tab though, and... something drew me in.  When I actually heard it... I knew.  And, yeah, I learned a lesson... again.  But that isn't the whole of the story.  The meaning?  The reason?  The reasoning?

As I have written here, I am a fighter type.  Not a standard one, a street thug type, nor even a soldier, really.  I am experienced, and at one time was rather cocky about it.  Whatever you may believe, I was good.  Too old now, perhaps.  It would still take a lot of jackals to down me in hand to hand, but only one young warrior, and he wouldn't have to be the best.  Old.  My life has been based on that.  Socially, even those I have claimed and been claimed by as family, were from that set.  And, from what I went through to get it, I have been exclusive, snobbish, even dismissive of those who don't fit that, save for the women I have known, and to a degree.

Some people call standard folk sheep, or rabbits might be the newer term.  I will never be one.  I wasn't really a wolf or a sheepdog either.  Not my style, still isn't.  I just am, do what I think I should, and help those who help themselves or truly can't help themselves, if I can.  And while I dislike wolves, I dislike those who allow themselves to be fodder for the wolves.  Wolves are a problem, but if they have nothing to feed upon they... fix themselves.  And I do blame sheep, in part.  They have allowed, even encouraged, much of the problem.  I wasn't allowed to live as a sheep, and wasn't interested in being a wolf, and am mostly glad of it.  Some jealous exists, mind you.  I'm not completely blind to the bliss of sheepdom, when the sheepdogs are doing their work rightly anyway.

The thing is, the second time I died, I saw something.  I saw the gates of heaven.  I also realized God, if from some unknowable distance.  And yet it was not like here, where you can't sense Him like the sun.  You can feel God, I would say.  But there is no element of physical reality to go with the spiritual notion.  I got to sense that.  Sure, oxygen deprivation, the bodies own pain killers, lots of things could have triggered the sensations.  But... I don't think so.  I think I was well and truly dead and got a little glimpse.

But what I felt there...  The power of that love God has for us, all of us, sinners too (as if there was anything else?), was astounding.  I got to all but be with God, there.  Much of what I had thought about others, myself, gone.  Took me a while to make sense of it all.  I had to decide if it was even real, and more if I wanted to believe.  Well, and how to believe and what to do with it.  Perfect.  It is how God sees us.  The problem isn't God, it is us.  That song, it just... covered it so well.  You are perfect.  So many just don't know, understand.

Anyway, that is why I went so far out of my normal musical comfort zone for you.  So you... might get just a small smidgen of a taste of what is available.  I could suggest you have concern about hell.  I won't discourage it.  That is real too.  I will, however, suggest that if you concern yourself with the carrot, the stick won't be an issue.  Heaven is worth everything you might spend on earth to get, even your life.  Your life isn't what it seems.  It is a moment.  Think of it as that dressing over a wound.  You don't want to remove it because it will hurt, but holding onto the old, pussy, infected bandaging will kill you.  I don't know if that is the best way to put it, and I mean only when your choice is to live evil or die right, but...  The price is small compared to the gain.  And you are perfect, just not yet, find your way to it.  You are truly, all on your own, an apple in God's eyes.  And from my experience, and to within my limits, you are an apple in my eye.  Even when you do me wrong.  But uhm... don't tempt the Lord your God... or me.  Old but still a bit cranky, and forgiveness doesn't relegate punishment to the dust bin.  Just... sayin'.

Just couldn't do much else.

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Coughing up bits of lung and dog tired, I decided not to push much more through tonight.  Getting the water heater to the basement is going to be a trick.  Getting the old one out isn't so bad as much less care is required.  I have been thinking about how to lower the new one safely.  Oh, not really worried about me.  I just don't get hurt.  But a glass lined tank... that could get hurt.  Hmm, I might be able to slide it, more or less.  But it's over a hundred pounds and I don't think I have what it takes tonight.  There is a pulley set up, but that would take someone lowering and someone guiding, the way it is configured.  I'm only the size of two, I don't have the extra hands or the ability to be in two places at once.

Zapped.  I was tired enough for bed a while ago.  The problem is I was still riding pretty high from the pace of the day.  I simply have to slowly come down from that.  I can't pace it, reading doesn't help, a shower actually exacerbates the problem.  A bath might help, but then you have to dry off, clean the tub or at least think about it.  If some one else fussed with that all, a bath might actually work.  A long soak.  Urhm, a long hot to warm soak.  If I ever replace this bath tub I will get a spa with heaters.  Just a note to self.  Well, spa, heaters, and a cleaner.  Bubble-bath works on that, a bit.

On a positive note, moving these water heaters, pushing and pulling to get things detached, disconnected, sorted, and back together has really been good for me.  I might be coughing up pieces of lung, perhaps literally, but my muscles are loving it.  A few bruises just add to the rugged look.  Tightened arms simply add to the trim.  My belly is what it is, if I have seen far worse, and far better.  By the time these jobs are done though, it will be as if I had been swimming for the time it took.  Things will be tightened up again.  Just in time for my mother to...  Oh well.  Maybe I can get a nap the day before she arrives.

The hope is to get the water heater in tomorrow.  I've given up on really planning to have it done.  It will simply be done when I can do it.  I am almost holding up, thinking about finding something to put under the new one.  Just a bit to hold the thing a little higher, allowing for easier access to the drain spout.  I would even like to change that out, putting in a metal one.  Plastic, for some things, really suck.  I believe I will work on the second water heater next.  Then the faucet.  I ought to check the status of the toilet I ordered.  I have no clue as to where that may be, if it is even on it's way yet.  I am hoping it arrives in time for me to have that installed and ready for my mother, but that just may not be the case, especially if it arrives broken, hopefully just the first time if so.  It is an item that has troubles in shipping.  Ah, but she will be pleased if the cave is ready for her.  I think she likes the idea of her boy, her youngest, her most... peculiar and often lazy, somewhat spoiled, to finally be doing work.  That smile she bears isn't all simple pleasure.  There is some serious snark in there, spite.  No fuss here about that though.  I almost understand and in part agree, though she played her part in that.  But it is also good to watch the snark fade when she sees what all was done...  A rare thing.  Teh womenz!  Bleh.

Good night.

Fie!  I just couldn't sleep.  So I did the next most illogical thing.  I got the new water heater to the basement.  Not as much of a fuss as I thought if I think I'm coughing up even more lung tissue.  *cough*  Now, maybe, my mind will relax and I can sleep!

Ah, well, I'm getting there.

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Just getting the old one disconnected from the electric, getting it off the platform, and then removing the steam vent for reuse has me about at the end of what I can do today.  I had thought I would easily have the other one installed by now.  It is a lot more work than what I had thought.  I still have to lug the new one down the steps and the old one out, then hook up the electrical.  Hooking up the water is a simple thing at least.  The wires are color coded on this one (though not the one in the bathroom... all wires in there are black), so there is that.  With everything here, though, I can tinker as I am able.  I have a little over a week before my mother arrives.  It will take a week and more.  *sigh*

The sink shouldn't be as much of a problem.  I've done that before, and recently.  It will be a half a day project, assuming no radical new issues arise.  The other hot water heater will be less of a problem, being on ground floor.  The thing with that will be the confined space in which I have to work.  The toilet?  I have no idea how much that will really take.  It is a lot of work ahead of me though.  I may yet get the new water heater down the stairs, and perhaps the old one up.  And I have to move the 40 gallon one.  But that will be it for the night.  No hot shower any time soon.  I can't believe how much work it was to remove the wires.  Yes, I unscrewed everything possible and opened up what would open up.  I am nervous as hell about getting the wiring into the new ones now!

Yeah, whatever.  I'm just going to say good night.  I might not have anything left when I finish the last few things.  Actually I don't have anything left now.  What is half of nothing?  I don't know if I will be able to get to a thing tomorrow.  I just don't see where it would come from.  Yeah.  At least I should sleep well.  Good night.

The rush.

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I am amazed at what I did in what time there was.  I honestly didn't think it was possible.  It tuckered me harshly though.  I will still get the main hot water heater installed.  I am just about to get to it.  I missed out on supper in my rush to get home though.  I didn't even stop to fill the gas tank.  This store, then that, then on my way to other things the call to get home.  No worries.

That is quite a list of things to do.  Two water heaters to be installed, a sink faucet to put in place, and a toilet to go down.  I have everything ready, I just have to do it.  The old water heaters are empty, the faucet shouldn't be too much trouble, wax rings have been bought.  Drats, I do need to get silicone calking and maybe a gun for it.  Always something.

I should sleep well when I finally do get to bed.  I am seriously tuckered.  I'll be pushing through on the water heater, and maybe another little task or two as I try to stay up long enough to get a hot shower.  Hopefully all this fuss will get me ready for my mother's visit.  She will want me to be pretty on top of things, maybe more so than last time.  This visit will only be two weeks though, and there might be a little less to do.  When the heaters are in, I plan to do the floors.  Sweep, mop, vacuum, and then steam clean.  Then I will clean her bathroom, and vacate that for her use, save the toilet but just for my morning regulars... if you know what I mean.  Finally I will clean her room and have it ready for her.  Next year I hope to have a window in there, a real one.  A bit at a time, I suppose.

Just... working up to doing the hot water heater.  I am going to look up this particular model and see how it is supposed to be programmed.  I suppose I could try to read the manual, it's just... between how those are typically written and how much reading takes, I would rather simply find someone who says... "Press this, pull that, turn this, then run!".  Well, maybe not the run part.

Oh, the other day, while I was making pasta for dinner...  Remember I told you that I have poured boiling water on my skin, in the winter months in Iowa, with my thermostat set in the 60's (so my home was cool on top of it all).  It was an accident, mind you.  I did it twice, while making tea for my lady friend and myself.  It didn't even turn red, while she had a burn scar that was healing from having done the same thing.  Should have seen the look on her  face when I did it, she noticed before I did.  I had just awaken.  Anyway... I wanted to see... something.  Now, my hands were already clean, so this was just a notion.  I wanted to see if I could wash my hands in the water while the pasta finished.  I can.  Right down in, to the elbow.  Limited by the pot though as much as anything.  Well, yeah, it was sort of warm.  But it didn't burn.  As long as I had them in, and after several dippings, where I acted like I was washing them in there, they did turn a bit pink.  Is that... abnormal?  Is men's skin simply thicker?  Well, I had to know, now I do. Yes, I can grab a boiled egg out of boiling water, too.  I just generally won't.  I won't say it is comfortable, that is true.

Hmm...  Later.

Zip, zap, zing.

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I feel like a cat trying to chase a bouncing ball.  Then all of a sudden there are four of them, plus a laser pointer light or two!

I did get a bath.  Oh, by the way, warm water is NICE.  I was able to wash twice and rinse twice.  And instead of just dumping the water, I got in a wash and a rinse shower to boot.  Still, having the water hooked up and the shower flowing, with solid on hot water is going to be a very nice gift!  But I had to rush it, boys and girls.  I mean... GO, GO, GO.  Writ large and with gas, hi-pro at that.  Of course I was heading into town right at shift change coupled with rush-hour.  The drive reminded me of those dreams where you suffocate in hurry, to or away from whatever. 

I made it, on time, and had a minute or two to look around while the staff was finishing other customers.  They don't carry the higher end faucets, or the solid brass ones I should say.  But they do carry some other things that are decent.  I suppose people don't want to marry their home items, houses are simply... financial instruments and places to sleep for many.  A mobile society leaves much to be desired this way.  So many lives are like home fixtures... tinny, thin, disposable.  No, no, I understand.  It is the way of it, probably the truth of it, one I just... won't abide anymore, for myself... on some things. 

The rods weren't what I thought.  I had this strange notion that they were installed through the side.  Remember, I'm cherry on these things.  Top mounted, long, and singular.  I bought two, $40 or so, zinc.  I am not sure I need zinc in the second hot water heater, since it isn't softened, I'll check.  No harm though, the recommended change rate is every two years, if softening will lengthen the life.  I'm never sure.  No matter how much research I do, one degree of difference and I can't say if one type of rod or the other is still best!  Bleh.  I'm... learning.  After picking those up, I went and bought two toilet wax rings, two sets of toilet nuts and bolts, and the extra water heater, 40 gallon.

I was about to head over to my pals, as I had said I would, when I got another call.  The guy who was going to plow my garden was about to show up.  Ruh-Rho!  Just getting out of town ended up being worse than getting in.  People die right after work, then crawl into their vehicles and head home.  They leave their brain at work or send it on home ahead of themselves, or something, but they do not use it to drive.  *moo!*  Where's ma whip!  Get on, little doggies.  That's all I'm saying.  Anyway, I struggled through the piles of corpses in cars, scrambled around the streets, fought the "stupid people" lights, and made it out of town only to find some driver who thought 55 meant 35.  I took what I could but finally zipped around him in a 'gray area'.  Oops?  No sirens and lights, no foul.  Just... saying.

I returned home to find a conclave of locals.  Aye, but all very good.  I hate when people end up waiting for me and alone.  Waiting is a sucky thing.  God gave that to us to steel our patience.  But, for my part, I don't like being the cause of such.  Anyway, a bit of talking and the thing has been moved to Monday.  He wants me to mow the area I want plowed.  He says it will do much better and it will dry out the area so I don't have mudballs to work with.  I can't mow.  I really can't.  But I will see if the neighbor lad is up to it this weekend.  Yeah, I ask a lot.  While I can lift those water heaters and move them around with ease I can only do whatever for a very short time, if what I can do is... decently large.  Mowing... would put me down for a week.  Though I might be able to help with the trimmer?  I can move a mountain, I just can't take too much time to do it.  *Bam... Bam*  :p

As I sit here, having done what I did and written what I wrote, I...  What just happened?  I never even woke up today.  I remember the clock, the alarms, being wet, driving, a conversation or three... four, and... here I sit.  What, prey tell, just happened?  All I know is that I am going to take an hour or three to wake up.  Then, figure out the water heater in the basement.  I will then do a bit more waking.  And then I'm going to take a hot shower and dive into my bed like a woodchuck after seeing it's shadow.  You'll see nothing but quivering cheeks and stink as I burrow away from the horror of the pace of this day.  Just saying.

Then again, something I realized, finally, with my last lady friend?  I was made for speed, I think, as a man.  And even more so among men.  For us it is all about getting it done, all of it, and more, yesterday.  Then crashing until we have to sprint again.  Women are all about going slow, slowing things down, but always going.  They don't crash, see it as indolence, adolescence, sloth, and or laziness.  But they can't go fast, and when forced, go slower.  Just... something I noticed.  On the life, and real, highway, that is how it works (most often).  My problem is that I have become too ill to do fast as often as I would like... or more to put myself in a position to be driven to speed?  Something like all that.  Then again, after today, I might not quite be able to say that.  The thing is I am worn, but still not done.  A little rest, first, though.  Bleh.  But it's still active.  I wrote this in about a minute and a half.  Zowzas...

Later.

Lord, please help me.

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No, I didn't get to bed early.  Couldn't sleep.  And, no, I didn't rise and shine.  I did have some heat on for when I woke.  And I have water boiled for a warm "bath" and rinse.  And I am chugging a portion of coffee.  I even had a bit of remaining food from supper to slip into my pie hole.  My clothes are set for getting dressed fast.  But it is 3:50 or so.  I have to move... but it's just... well...  I think I will get to it but it is murder today.  It is like pulling teeth.  Never mind...  Just, a hand, a boost, a push, a shove.  Anything.  The ol' body just.  Sucks being on the deader side of things, today it shows.  At least I'm not stuck in some hospital or nursing home though.  I'll live under a bridge before I'll go back to one of those types of prisons.

Dreams and nightmares as I toiled with a lame body, exhaustion, and alarm clocks today.  Something along the lines of drowning in life.  I'll get it sorted.  I have a few things to do to get my home ready for my mom and the future, she being more a timer than the sole or main reason.  She is even helping before she arrives?  Yeah, well, okay.

Hmm...  Time to get going.  Good day.

One final other thing?

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Yes, yes.  I had suggested I would get a new toilet for my mother.  Which didn't look like it was going to happen, what with two water heaters and all.  With the return of the sump pump, the lower cost of the water heaters (at least the first one), and a bit of looking, the possibility started creeping into my mind.  The thing is I don't want a bad toilet.  I've done as much research as possible, leading me to believe Toto makes superior toilets.  The thing is, they can be a bit pricey.  Still, I wanted to dig a bit.

While doing a bit of review I saw that people with a hip or knee replacement have great difficulty, and even can have physical problems from, using short toilets.  Oh?  My mother has had both knees and one hip, I think.  Plus two back surgeries.  It shouldn't hurt to... well... poo!  No, I'll take care of that.  But it isn't just that.  I am a giant.  Squatting on a normal toilet is... almost demeaning.  I have mostly gotten used to it, but...  Well, and at twice the size of a normal man, I... drop twice the load.  Just... saying.  I really do.  Compare the scat from a poodle and a German shepherd for an example, or a Rottweiler.  I need a solid flusher.  The ones I have choke, needing plunging and two to three flushes sometimes.  Not cool.  So a big toilet that is a good flusher is good no matter what else.  My mother visiting just makes the cost more amenable and timing a little more sure.

I looked online, compared a number of options and models, then picked this one.  The best price I seemed to be able to find was about $352, which put it just a bit out of reach.  Then I noticed something.  There were many colors to choose from.  Something I had come to realize when ordering my kitchen faucet was that color, or material, mattered as to price.  At least that seemed possible.  So I started checking through colors.  The color I started with was sedona beige.  They also had bone, ebony, cotton white, cotton, and colony white.  All more expensive than colony white, which was $188?  I don't get it, and don't care.  That seemed to put it in range.  Then I checked for shipping.  Ugh!  That jumped the price to $260 and change.  American standard offered some, locally, for as little as $130-$170, but they weren't ADA... and... have varying reviews.

Ah, but first I wanted to check local prices.  After a bit of looking...  $210... but just for the tank!  The bowl is $170, not including tax.  At, what, 6%... that is... $402.80.  So much for local!  Yeah, it could arrive cracked/broken.  But that is relatively easy to deal with.  It will just be a little longer before the install.  Which... honestly... would terribly hurt my feelings, if you know what I mean?  *grins*  Anyway... I did go back online, to the inexpensive source, and made sure I was indeed ordering the complete toilet, not just a tank or bowl.  Yep.  Tank and bowl, both, so... I pulled the plug and dropped a... credit dime.

By the time my mother arrives I will have at least one new hot water heater, a new kitchen faucet, and a new toilet installed.  I might have another hot water heater as well, so two full working bathrooms.  While I would like a smaller water heater, I think a standard size will fit.  It will simply fill more space above what the old one did, but... that space is useless anyway.  I guess I hate the idea of paying more money, or even the same amount, for a water heater that offers half the volume.  It feels like I am being cheated somehow.  I would rather pay a little more to heat a little more water than have to skimp, all for height space I don't use?  While I appreciate economy, I'm not going to skimp and get rooked for a few dollars in electricity.  I think going to the 40 gallon would work well though.  It actually has a largeish price difference.  Yes, yes, that too, I suppose.  I'll figure finances back out over the winter.

I will end up with a new home before I know it, if it bankrupts me!  She'll be shiny and I'll be broke.  Ah, but I do have a bit of food around, so I won't starve.  *shrug*

While doing a crossover I flipped.

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Yeah?  Yeah.  But it was kind of fun!  If I didn't have things I desperately wanted to get done it would be a lot of fun.  No, really.

I was having trouble getting to sleep last night.  The moon was arranged just so with one of the planets and some of the star clusters so that they meant exactly what they did.  Nothing.  No, I drank too much caffeine or more was jazzed about something.  I finally figured it out and spit out a notion of it.  The news cycles seem to be supportive of the notions, all around, on too many fronts for comfort.  Surrounded?  Yep, I've got them right where I want them now.

After I figured the thing out and coughed it up, putting it to virtual paper, I was free to do a bit more exploring.  Some areas mix and match, you know.  It isn't so much that we taint or bless or control our environment as that as a sort of hub to our existence, we are a part of everything around us.  Sometimes rather closely, other times at a bit more of a distance.  It just so happens that whatever we are then goes on to influence that to whom and which we are attached, in a reciprocating manner.  We are the engines of our fate.  Some of us, I would argue, within the confines of reality, are even the masters of it or at least have that potential.

It is why I lean very strongly toward individual, if not completely isolationist, choices and responsibilities.  I trust, even myself, less than most.  My faith, while beyond potent, won't carry my belief in self, it actually, to a degree, precludes it as a fullness.  However, within the domain of the child, servant, tool?  I will use all the room there is to set up and develop what I understand of the ideal.  I expect credit for it when correct, in the secular though not true, and I will take responsibility for my failures, in both spheres.  It is the way it works.

Lest you think I have fallen asleep.

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Remember...  Remember.

Things have changed, the tune seems a little different, but the story is the same.  And true.

Choices.

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Choices indeed!  I threw the net in the stream and pulled many fishes, some even from the sea!  So many.  But before I could begin weighing the competitors, one from the other, I had to decide per competitor.  Tuna or mackerel or trout?  Uhrm... which trout will swim against which of the others.  A task, but one that was not a disheartening one.  Hand me a box of kittens or send me into a room full of bachelorettes.  Oh, it could get ugly for a bit.  Scratching and crying and accusing and hissing, and maybe some ducking and running on my part, but I'll get the job done!  I was born for this sort of thing.  Still, there is a slight twinge or more.  I can't, and probably wouldn't, change that.

Haiku Monday - Love's Innocence

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Coming fresh from the memory of a dream, one I posted regarding as well, and having been remanded to custody of hosting the contest this week, the topic is still fresh and powerful in my mind with a need to explore more.  And while I blathered about man things, and adult understandings a bit, I would still like to explore the softer side of the thing.  Love, to me, is one of the most splendid gifts I have received, in all it's forms.  It is transformative, maturing, can be possessive obsessive or both.  And while it leads us to many good things if we let it, it also somehow keeps us young, offers simple true hope and happiness, and is the only wellspring that shared out the more offers the more.  Yes, I will be using you, my fine fellow poets, to do some notional number crunching in a way only poets can.

The topic is, officially, love's innocence.  That... is a mouthful if I ever said anything that is such.  So I will clarify.  What I am hoping to see is haiku written on the topic of love that is for the gifting.  A little girl kissing a little boy, with no notions other than sharing what she feels, for example.  Or the idyllic notions of chivalry, where a man offers truly for the graces of being a man and surrendering for a moment to the simple beauty, or even person, that is the feminine, the woman.  Even the love family has for one another is good here.  Love without carnal involvements, I would say.  Caring without the notion of receiving.  Young, old, man, woman, child, friend, wife, husband.  This is about those moments that are just about being two people who share more than fleshly wants or needs of any sort.  If I would contend love is a human need, I would also contend easily that there is a component of it that is not at all of flesh.  Perhaps not even of emotion, if emotions can be felt through it.  A light that shines in no other creature, this sort of love.  Let that light shine here, in your words.

As for technical rules?  I will stay with standard rules on the front side of things.  At 5-7-5, the pieces fit (don't worry about mistakes so much, I miscount from time to time, fudge a little to).  I enjoy seeing people do little tricks, writing in one direction, only to do a mental backflip, or double up, at the last second.  But that is not a requirement.  There is one thing I am curious to see?  Rhymes?  I don't know if it works with haiku.  And I won't ask that all or even most of you do it.  It is just a... little flag, planted far out afield... for those who wish to dally in the rough?  Something along those lines.

For My Part

The girl knew my name.

Her face grew in my eyes, smile-

Sister, no. - And... yes!

I didn't say I would produce a perfect example!  Now, get to it! 

WTH? Yeah, I did, but I didn't!

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Yeah, well, there is that.  Even waking so early I couldn't get going.  The idea of a cold sponge bath... well...  That and it is a bit chill.  I still have the windows open so I didn't want to mess with all that.  Closing them and turning up the heat sure would have helped.  Then too, the judging.  That... occupies my mind.  I wanted to stick around to see what people had to say, too.  By 16:00 I finally made it in, I think.  Whatever else I didn't make it to town until about 17:30.  S-L-O-W.  That is how it goes.

I went into one of the box home stores.  I looked on my own for zinc anodes, but something before that.  Zilch and zero.  I asked one of the workers, in the area.  At first he didn't even know what they were.  He asked what they do in the device.  With that answer he did know.  They simply don't carry them.  He directed me to a plumber supply store, suggesting they were open until 17:00.  Now, the way he said it, and with a rushed look at my watch, I was under the impression I still had time.  Nope.  They were locked tight.  Tomorrow.  I just have to get out of bed early enough, and move a little quicker really.

To those ends I will be closing the windows at bedtime, so as to thump the furnace first thing.  As well, I will be putting water into the teapot, and that on the heat.  One of those, plus some cold, should produce at least a lukewarm bath of sorts.  It isn't just to deal with the cold though.  I have noticed that cold bathing producing very poor cleaning.  Between the brevity and lack of warmth all by itself, no amount of soap really helps.  At least I can still get a great lather, oddly.

I filled the tanks from the hydrant this evening.  It just makes sure I have enough water to flush, wash, and drink.  Though since I mostly use water only for coffee and the girls, and my reverse osmosis has a three gallon tank, I still have plenty of what I call sweetwater.  I'm thinking it would taste funny to drink.  both unfiltered and out of plastic.  But... I might survive, need be.  :p  I have certainly sipped worse, mudwater dripped through clothe.  Thirst, like hunger, has a way of fixing persnickety notions.  Grub?  Yum!

Well...  On to... something or other.  Later.

Ah, today? Is it already tomorrow?

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Never you worry.  My mind, for as delicate a little tabulator, given what it's got it does a decent little job.  Yeah, it's some day between Sunday and... Sunday.  That I'm sure off.  Oh, and I did know it was Judgment Day, too.  I think?  I hope.  I actually could have chose last night.  Save for the fact that I couldn't... well... choose last night.  I had to sleep on it.  That beat the concrete I slept on the night before, word.  But what else is going on today?

I did make it up early, relatively.  I was out of bed by 11:00, I know I was trying to get up earlier but the caboose was pulling drag so it just didn't happen.  Vitals are back to normal.  I see I missed a day of medication in there.  I noticed a few days ago.  And while I didn't meant to do it, I ended up getting that day made up.  Whatever.  I had to reset my medications today too.  And I did, right away, first thing after checking vitals and weighing in.  Zowza.  Then, as noted, I got to the judging.  Having slept on it, that didn't take too long.  It was truly a painful choice.  There are some dang fine poems.  Some, to my mind, were great but off track on the subject.  Others were great, and on track, but there were many of them.  Gah!  Loverly.  While making such a choice is difficult, having the material to choose from like that is splendid.

To town?  Yes, I do believe.  I need to buy the right corrosion rods, new flanges for the flex hose fittings, see what my friend is up to, and...  I don't know what else?  A bite of lunch wouldn't be bad.  But first some sort of sponge-bath.  That isn't my favorite way to go about it.  There are worse ways.  Today should be the last day of the pseudo self-impose monastic life.  Of course, after a hot shower I need to get the new faucet in, then begin cleaning for my mother.  She will be visiting very shortly.  Oh, and I need to get going on the transplants.  I love it when plans come together, slowly as they are I suppose.  Hmm, actually... while in town I am going to look for a new water heater for the en suite.  It would be absolutely lush to have that up and running when my mom visits.  Two bathrooms, two showers, no hassles.  And, I don't have to walk through the house to go to the bathroom at night or in the morning.  Love that.  Yeah, yeah, but...

Well.  I should be figuring out my way to things.  Just a bit of coffee first though, and a bit of reading.  Good day.

Note to self:  Room temperature water is still pretty darned cold.  Then again I turned off the heat and aired the cave last night and this morning.  Either way, I don't think it would matter that much.  *Burr!*

A little stumble, but no more than that.

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Honestly I was not surprised.  I did, for me, a good deal of work yesterday.  I enjoyed.  It wore me out.  I simply need to recover my strength.  Well, and something else about one of my projects.  I could, actually, have gotten the water heater in.  That would not have been a problem.  And I will yet set up the pots to transplant the last of the peppers.  They really need it.  What I could not do was prep for a trip to town on top of what else I wanted to do.  I have decided to get the correct corrosion rods before filling and starting the system.  Otherwise I would have to shut it all down, drain the tank, and then put in the rods.  No, that is a fool's game.  So, since that is the path I am taking, and that I couldn't get ready, I will simply wait for tomorrow.  Well, and set up the pots for transplanting.  It looks like the sun might be coming out the next few days, and least some of the day.  I best move on transplanting.

It has been a really good day though.  The headache has faded to nearly nothing.  I have recovered from the concrete sleep cycle.  Haiku is going gangbusters!  And the world is looking pretty good.  Oh, and for supper I was spoiled more than usual.  Beside a really fine dinner, a chocolate cream pie was delivered as well by my friend's beautiful daughter.  Caught us both off guard.  Chocolate pie is just... one of those things.  Life is good.

A bit more... thinking?  Yes, THAT is what we will call it.  Then to set up some planter cups.  Ugh...  I am guessing about 20 more cups are needed.  Two plants per cup, and give or take a few of course.  I'll count much more closely when I stop... thinking.  *grins*  Yeah?  My mom isn't so keen on my thinking habits either. 

Later, perhaps good night.

To bed late, up late, spinning.

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On the one hand, life is a bit out of control.  Sleep patterns are shot, ailerons are fried, there is a down cycle tail wind with a cross wind too somehow.  On the other hand the air pressure is such that buoyancy is better so that keeping it nose up is relatively simple and the engines are cycling like they know what they are doing.  I am losing altitude, I am in a bit of a spin, but it is far from "fatal".  If it weren't for the fact of trying to get some important things done, like the water heater installed, this would simply be fun.  Yeah, I might live a bit on the... reckless side?  Oh, but what a life I have lived.  I can't say God always favored it, but I have to think, sitting in the ghost co-captains chair, He has to be pleased that I bear the true mark of a son.  I went forth, did, tried to do, and worked at, making a world... for myself, for others, with others.  And if sometimes for the wrong reasons, I like to think I generally headed in the right direction.  Plus, I somehow survived long enough to add right reason to right direction.  As much as a man can.

I'm feeling like I slept on concrete.  I probably look like I was run over by the truck that delivered it.  There is a two day minor headache continuing it's saga in the background... it's nice and soft as headaches go though, no thumping, bumping, or grating of nerves.  It's... almost relaxing in it's constancy and mild but sure pressure.  That's as close as such a thing can get to being soothing, in any case.  You have to have known exquisite pain, I suppose, to have a nose for this sort of headache.  Lucky me!

And yet, I am coming back to life.  I do believe the new water heater will be installed, and set, before the day is done.  And, if I am lucky enough, and all works, I will have a hot shower before I go to bed this evening (my evening, your tomorrow morning, but let's not quibble... friend).  I should warn that I use the term "friend" quite loosely.  :p  The home has been cleaned out, and is getting an airing.  I have all that is needed to put the window air conditioner in place when the weather ceases to spit at me.  The faucet is here, ready to be installed when the water is in full swing.  I even found a bit of pipe insulation that might get to some significant portion of the pipes I want insulated.  I bought it for some odd project or other.  Just a pack, perhaps three and a half four foot tubes of it anyway.  You know?  This pleases me.

Yes, yes, a good mood too.  Helps with the nose attitude if I have no more control of it than anything else at times.  When the strain of looking through the fog of life gets a bit heavy, and there is no lift from anywhere, it can be difficult to smile.  Pain?  Pain I can do.  With a smile.  No force necessary.  I just have to have the energy, which I do.  Those engines are positively purring.  I still think the cheerleaders snuck in and did a number on me.  For which I am eminently grateful.  For the tortures they caused, a bit of recompense is due!  Once I figured out how to walk again, all was... forgiven.

Welp.  Good day.  Good life.  Go away.  Friend.

Hey, yeah, well... Light a fire and there you go.

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Can't say if it was just the memories, the memory and the coffee, or if it was just time?  I certainly didn't feel like pushing anything through today.  I couldn't, actually.  I was stuck, dead to rights.  I had a kink in my neck, I was nursing a headache, I was cold in spite of turning the heat up.  Nothing felt good, or right, and still doesn't.  That flash of memory, from a song I haven't listened to in a decade or more, was definitely the catalyst.  *whoosh!*  Wonderful.

The first thing I did was collected trash and recycling.  Oh, well, there was a bit of it here.  As well, boxes of boxes!  I broke about half of them down, decided to keep a handful of them, and left the rest for the next cycle, in two weeks.  Out, all of it.  I clean out this, I cleaned out that.  My refrigerator is nearly bare.  Tossing, tearing down, stuffing, and hauling.  It was as if I still had some life in me.  Cans were everywhere, food, soda, cat food...  Gone, all of it.  And I didn't stop just in the kitchen, or just in the living room.  Gone.  Nice start, now to do some real cleaning if I can get to it.

I wasn't sure I wanted to do more.  Well, one side of me.  The other side ramrodded more on through.  I went to the basement to mess with the sump pump.  I tried taking the hose downstairs, with a bucket.  Nope.  So I pulled the thing out.  The hose simply wasn't attached.  No wonder.  I opened the new sump pump, but then...  I decided to try to find a plug close by, to get rid of the drop cord.  Done.  I have to set the pump in such a way that it could reach, but it was doable.  Then I grabbed the new hose for the sump pump, before abandoning the old sump pump.  With the right fitting in place it worked like a charm.  I can take the new one back.  That's $77 back on the charge, plus Uncle Sam and everyone else's cut.  I checked to see if it would run on it's own, it seemed to.  And I have heard it kick over twice since then.  It is about time to check it though.

And, yes, I did remember to turn off the water.  That sure made opening the water heater vent more practical.  I'm not sure how long it will take to drain though.  Technically it is a 50 gallon tank.  My guess is, though, that it doesn't hold that much.  It is old.  I have to guess there is at least some sediment.  Then again, it looks like they really worked on the thing.  They might have kept it rather prime, as it flowed very easily, save a bit of a lick due to the plastic nib being so well used.  Difficult to know.

Something I realize is that the softener is hooked through both hot and cold.  Once I get the new water heater in I am going to have to find the right elements so as to prevent the higher rate of corrosion, at the wrong places, that standard rods offer.  Yes, yes, more and more.  But well worth the effort.  Plus, with all the room down there, I will be able to figure out just how to maintain a water heater.  The one in the bathroom... I don't know... just too tight to work in correctly.  At least to learn on.  This one makes the process much smoother.  Big, roomy, new, easy to access...

Time to check the basement.  Later.

The tank is empty and disconnected.  However, it looks like both water valves are shot.  There is a bit of a leak on the water inlet side.  Gah!  But it looks like the old copper shardbite type fittings are fine.  I will check the gaskets and buy new ones the next time I am in town.  On the good side, a wash won't be so cold, with the water containers at room temp.  It might not be a shower but it will work.  Perhaps tomorrow, if I can get going again, a "bath" and to town?

A tuna sandwich and a glass of milk, then it's bedtime I do believe.  Good night.

A pot of very strong coffee.

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Mostly I have been struggling to stay awake, so pardon my ways.  A few things hit today, right while I was in Blahsville, on the corner of Nowhere Avenue and Emptiness Street if I remember rightly, heading toward a dead end.  I pulled into an alley, to begin turning so as to cruise until I could find directions to my destination.  In that alley I saw something that reminded me of a very touching time in my youth.  Well, touching... has many meanings.  In this case, it was a time when my normal girls were being kept at bay by more watchful eyes than even I seemed to have hands.  I had a 'good-girl'friend, two parents, strict social norms, and no where to be what I was for the first time in my life.  On top of it all I was just hitting puberty!  Touching... indeed.  The beginnings of a decade long erection that... despite the notion I am presenting, couldn't be touched.

Sputter... Cough.... *creak*

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Ugh.  Oh, never mind.  I think I am finally awake.  I went to bed at 4:00, woke for just a bit at 8:00 or so.  The sun seemed to be up so I opened the shades for the plants then saw my shadow.  Back into the cubbyhole.  I didn't wake until 15:00 or so.  Or, about a little bit ago.  Blood pressure was a little high, I see that I missed my last medicine group.  Whatever.  I've been doing pretty darned good with medicines for quite a while, and I have been taking my vitals daily for nearly two weeks.  Didn't feel like doing that this morning but did it anyway.  Ugh.

When I woke for the day the sun was gone.  It looks to have rained more on top of that.  I almost thought I heard lightening while sleeping.  Might have been dreaming though.  Sun!  I wish I had been able to stay awake this morning to get a little sun but it just wasn't there.  It's not so much a want thing, right at this moment, as it is a need.  My plants are plateauing too, until they get sun.  They do look good, they have simply stopped growing up and out.  I clipped some of them, though if I had known the sun was going to be gone I wouldn't have.  I won't clip any more until the sun shows.

Trash and recycling today.  And, if I can, getting the new sump pump working.  With water in the blind, and actually now that I think of it water pretty available from the hydrant in any case, I have less to fear in that regard.  If I can, I will get the whole water heater thing done today.  I can sure drag my feet.  See, with a woman here, while she could help when the water goes out, until things get set back up, she would also be pushing for hot water something fierce.  When on my own it just isn't as big of a deal.  Especially when the sun and gravity is keeping me down.  I've got to admit, little as I always liked it, a woman does help keep me active and on top.

I finally had to turn the heat back on a day ago or so.  The cold is back and doesn't help one iota.  Now, if they could transport a week of this to mid-July or early August, I would be thankful.  Just not, right, now.  Can't get a leg up with the sun down.  No matter how good that particular saddle looks.  Bleh.


I keep telling people that gold and silver are just... pawns.  No, I don't suggest getting out, or in, or changing your habits, just don't think gold or silver are more than a last hope should money fail.  Consider it a final hedge.  If you have food, seed, communication, manual tools and transport, housing, and other needs met, for a grid-down, then you put money in these things so as to have some actual wealth in a slide toward civil oblivion.  Don't buy into silver, gold, etc. thinking you are going to get rich.  Further, I would argue that those who think gold has become more valuable are missing a huge elephant in the room.  Gold, and to some extent silver, and others, now cost more... in dollars, yens, pounds, and such.  What you need to ask is, how much is the dollar, yen, pound, etc. worth compared to what they were worth?  If you suggest they have slid, you would be right.  Now, since all currency has slid in value, you don't see that... what you are paying now compared to what you paid then seems to be higher.  But when you value the coin to the bullion then on to other commodities (the ones that haven't been spiked, or made rare through government malfeasance such as grains because they are being grown of a particular type and to be burned as fuel, not eaten) you find that the value of gold, in real terms, is rather static.  If that doesn't make you sweat, I can't help you.  And, gold and silver will, have, and are... playthings for the super rich who try to... adjust the markets.  You aren't one of those.  Don't play that game.  I am saying if gold hits $5k an ounce, that dollar you are holding has simply become worth much less.  Ignore the wizard behind the curtain at your peril.

My excessive writing has been trying to... stay awake, keep my goals loaded, write notes.  Anything to avoid the pit I am swinging over.  I am hanging on, but just by a thread.  I slipped today, a bit.  A lot of a bit.  Sun!  It's coming... I hope.  Later.

A few hours of sleep then up.

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What is with that.  I am tired.  I really am.  I just...  I slept as long as I could.  I will try to go back before long.  I might just be back to napping rather than sleeping?  The girls don't mind though.  I wasn't letting them sleep with me so they were happy to see me up and out.  Sam called shotgun on my lap and I have just been looking around through the empty night at a few things.  I do believe I am going to try to install hot water pipe insulation... before long.  Saves on everything, but more it makes getting hot water to the tap much quicker, I hope.  My bath/shower is fine, quick.  The two sinks are slow as molasses to warm.

Odd how quiet the world is at night.  From the interwebs to the world at large.  Eventually, save for us exotics, the world may fully eventually go back to 9 to 5?  It's headed that way.  It part due to economics, but I think there has been a want for that anyway.  The world will burn you out if you let it.  Many have let it.  Many are trapped there.  But few would want to stay trapped.  My health keeps me trapped to my situation.  I'd gladly trade the freedom and income for health though.  Even starting from scratch, at my age, good health would see me over hurdles, through the woods, and too some serious work.  That is my idea of fun.  Figuring things out that make economic sense.  Then again, at least at the moment, even the government seems to be down on that.  Still, makers make, doers do.  Only death can stop that, if there is some worry there too.  Death is the better option, given that as the only choice.  But with health comes feet.  As has been shown, too.  Italy is a fine place to visit, from what I hear.

Grumble and mumble.  A bit stiff and sore.  I have been pushing, at least with the cold back.  The heat will see to some of that, with a cold place to hide.  Mostly grumbly because I can't quite wake up or sleep for the last few days.  Definitely blathering.  On to a bit more research.  Perhaps on the faucet.  Good night, again, soon, I hope.