Incessant thirst, odd moods, persistent exhaustion, and the need for frequent urination all lead me to suspect diabetes is back. I have been drinking a bit more soda, and eating more treats. At first, my consumption was minor. As time went on, I began to drink the stuff like I used to drink it, which is way too much. The batteries in my blood tester have died, and at the time they did so I had such good blood sugar that I had not replaced them. One more thing on my list of things to do, in spite of my incapacity to do as much as I had only recently been able to do. Then again, it is only a suspicion. Perhaps my exhaustion is just seasonal, perhaps it is something I have to fight forever, but with the other things, I am taking precautions. No more soda, for a while, no sugary treats, at least what I prefer to eat primarily is sugar free. Meat, I just love fresh cooked meat, and sometimes vegetables when I can remember about them, and fruits. Fruits are becoming my new snack food, again. Yeah, I am a dork. Yes, I should have known. Hush, you…
My vacation is off. My friend lied to me, but women do that. She said she was afraid of the weather, but it is beautiful today, and will probably be fantastic tomorrow and better Sunday. She mentioned how tired she is, at first. Fine, I understand that. But, I felt like there was something she was not telling me. After the first and second time trying to get me to drop out of the thing, she admitted she wants to go to a charity dinner Saturday night. Beyond, she thought perhaps I would go with her. The charity is for local social charities, such as the homeless shelter and perhaps the food-closet for the needy. Not really something I believe in, as it has become a huge local problem, one that money does not seem to be fixing. Still, there are times I do things for the company, people involved, and such, things I would not otherwise do. However, though she is on a positive for this, the fact that is will be held by and in one of the churches which I felt compelled to leave, and so worry about social difficulties, I had to decline. I just do not believe in any of the social programs, which they have used to replace their Christian faith. As freaky as I might be, I understand and reject the oddities of my life. I understand God does not reject me for any eccentricities, but He has a preference how we deal with the oddities that exist in a fallen world. Some do not understand, perhaps they cannot, perhaps they will not. All I know is that I am not among them. In this case, God said “No”, and I realized the Catholic Church has it, inherently, if there are problems. Paul was working on that from the start, and if still alive, would still be working on it. That has passed to his successor(s).
Well, I will not complain greatly about the change of plans. I really am exhausted. I really am hoping by changing my behavior, I might be able to get to work on the class material. I could also get some housecleaning finished. Oh, my landlord called today. I had informed him that the sheriff’s department had left a note wanting to contact my former neighbor (go figure). Though, by the looks of it, it is just the sheriff trying to serve court papers regarding debt. I had a cousin living with me, who ended up with such difficulties. He decided to drop by today, to check on the other apartment (and tinker, I think he likes working there, now that he is retired), and to thank me for letting him know. He missed me, though, as I was napping, so he called this afternoon. He called both to thank me for passing on the information, but more, for keeping the drive and walk so clean. Yeah, this is a new thing. I am getting better, and it shows, I guess.
Friday, February 8, 2008
Thursday, February 7, 2008
Now I have worked, alas I am both out of beer and grounded from it anyway. (Day 31)
When I went to survey the snow removal task while I checked the mail, I realized I was in a heap of trouble. Across my double wide drive stood a 12’ x 5’ road/snow grader leaving. It was between 1’ and 2’ across at the top, he must have been by several times. The material had been slush and snow, now it was ice, and it could support my 300 pounds. There were chunks I could not break apart and had to lift and toss, like logs or boulders and of some significant size. Ok, I must be old. It took three times at the pile to get it down and out, with an hour or two break between shifts. At least, after the final shift, I was able to just use the snow blower on the sidewalk and the rest of my drive without a rest. All my neighbors had their work done. I can only imagine this is one time they really would have liked if I had gotten to it all quickly. I did not realize it was there until around 1:30 or so this morning.
I am really beating myself up on this snow. Perhaps that is why I am so tired. I have started drinking a lot more plain water, I have been thirsty as the devil and nothing seems to quench that thirst. All the work has probably been dehydrating me, and soda, coffee, and milk will not quite fill that void, soda and coffee hurt the situation. I have consumed about 3 gallons of water these last two days, and mostly avoided soda and coffee. Milk and orange juice has also been in the line-up, as at least it does not feel like those dehydrate me. Actually, I am finding that winter wear, with heavy labor close to home, is not at all necessary. Still, I wear it like a lumberjack or something, sometimes. Whether it is -9 F, 21 F, or 36 F, heavy work makes life easy. I am not sure how long that would last, and I am pretty sure without a close warm shelter, cooling down while in a rest period could be severe if not done correctly (as I already knew). Still, it is fun for play, and probably will be very useful for sport and extended winter events.
I think I will reward myself though. A hearty breakfast out would be good. There is a new Ihop in my area. Though I think I prefer Perkins, I think there is only one sure way to know. I get to feed my gullet and avoid messing up the already pretty messy kitchen, try a new place, and feel good about it all. Plus, maybe it will give me some energy to tear into the homework and maybe alternately clean the kitchen when that gets too tight. Nice, a workable plan.
I have developed a plan for the gas, fill the machine up after every use and as I put it away. I will then know to get gas before I am completely out. Sure, yeah, I suppose some of you know this from your own work with the lawn or snow blowing. I am a relative newbie to this sort of thing. The little pieces are what add together to produce a well rounded socially and mechanically fit adult man. Broken or not, that is what I am trying to become. Perhaps in the effort I will become, perhaps it is just the doing, or, maybe something has changed and I now can do what is needed, if in small bits still and so far. I do note, regardless, I can still disappoint myself sorely.
Forgive me Father, for I have sinned.
I am really beating myself up on this snow. Perhaps that is why I am so tired. I have started drinking a lot more plain water, I have been thirsty as the devil and nothing seems to quench that thirst. All the work has probably been dehydrating me, and soda, coffee, and milk will not quite fill that void, soda and coffee hurt the situation. I have consumed about 3 gallons of water these last two days, and mostly avoided soda and coffee. Milk and orange juice has also been in the line-up, as at least it does not feel like those dehydrate me. Actually, I am finding that winter wear, with heavy labor close to home, is not at all necessary. Still, I wear it like a lumberjack or something, sometimes. Whether it is -9 F, 21 F, or 36 F, heavy work makes life easy. I am not sure how long that would last, and I am pretty sure without a close warm shelter, cooling down while in a rest period could be severe if not done correctly (as I already knew). Still, it is fun for play, and probably will be very useful for sport and extended winter events.
I think I will reward myself though. A hearty breakfast out would be good. There is a new Ihop in my area. Though I think I prefer Perkins, I think there is only one sure way to know. I get to feed my gullet and avoid messing up the already pretty messy kitchen, try a new place, and feel good about it all. Plus, maybe it will give me some energy to tear into the homework and maybe alternately clean the kitchen when that gets too tight. Nice, a workable plan.
I have developed a plan for the gas, fill the machine up after every use and as I put it away. I will then know to get gas before I am completely out. Sure, yeah, I suppose some of you know this from your own work with the lawn or snow blowing. I am a relative newbie to this sort of thing. The little pieces are what add together to produce a well rounded socially and mechanically fit adult man. Broken or not, that is what I am trying to become. Perhaps in the effort I will become, perhaps it is just the doing, or, maybe something has changed and I now can do what is needed, if in small bits still and so far. I do note, regardless, I can still disappoint myself sorely.
Forgive me Father, for I have sinned.
Wow, what was in that beer?
I have looked around the web. I may actually quit blogging after this one. I went WAY overboard. This is more than embarrassing. I really did only drink 10 beers, if I drank them… well, very fast. I probably had the first 6 down in 10 minutes, the rest in about another half hour. After that, I just coasted. I cannot believe I said some of what I said, and, I cannot remember saying it. I have become a lightweight, and a horrible one. I keep stumbling over little piles of stupid, and I am just amazed I was such an idiot. For shame! Really. I am thinking about whether to quit blogging, or not.
Oh, and, I was wrong. I do not believe much of what I said. I am not even sure I understand half of what I said. Though, after I blush while reading, I am not sure making sense out of it is necessarily possible. Wow, I do not understand how this happened. Really, I try to be a decent guy. Could I get that confused, mean, or stupid that easily?
Oh, and, I was wrong. I do not believe much of what I said. I am not even sure I understand half of what I said. Though, after I blush while reading, I am not sure making sense out of it is necessarily possible. Wow, I do not understand how this happened. Really, I try to be a decent guy. Could I get that confused, mean, or stupid that easily?
More snow on the ground.
I could have gotten out earlier and blown the snow off, but it had not quite stopped the last time I looked. It seems to have stopped at this point, and it probably stopped shortly after I checked, given that it appears no real accumulation occurred between then and now. I must admit to be becoming a bit tired of removing the stuff. Once a week, fine. Three, four, and fives days a week, even several times each day on several of those days to boot, gets a bit old. If I have to do it, though, I feel pleased that I can help out some of the neighborhood. I have the time, and I have always enjoyed helping others out, I just finally have enough on the ball to get out and do so. Oh, I ended up sipping three beers. It really was quite nice.
I received an email from my teacher. It seems classes were called off moments after I sent my email. In spite of checking the colleges webpage, I saw nothing indicating this had been done. I am a bit miffed at the school about this. I suppose I will get over it, perhaps even survive and flourish. I am pretty sure we will get through the material, what could they do otherwise (without a refund anyway)? Still, with this many lost days, and so far, it has actually been difficult to stay on track. Reading ahead is asking for a punch in the nose and mucho confusion. Huh? Yeah, that, exactly. What? Okay, I will stop that.
I have been spending 12 hours or more blowing snow this week, so I have not messed with skiing. Skiing has several interests, in part as an exercise activity, in part to test cold weather gear, in part as a skill I wish to master for real world use. Though, of course, I learn nothing about skiing by not doing, I do get the other two managed. As well, when I tell a teacher I do not wish to risk driving, I mean it. School IS a joy for me, mostly. So, risking the roads to ski just has not been a priority. It is not completely the icy conditions, or potential for ice, though those are considerations, it is mostly the idiots who think front wheel drive vehicles are good enough for the conditions (often while talking away on a cell phone!). I really have not seen four wheel drive vehicles out being macho, I have seen subcompacts trying to prove they are equal to my vehicle. And worse, I have seen sports cars out “having fun”. Idiots, I pretty much put my Camaro SS up for the winter, it is absolutely useless and very dangerous to me and everyone else on the road. There is no driving slow enough with it (though I miss it dearly, I wish I could have kept it for summer fun).
Just a tip, if you see a vehicle that weighs three times what your vehicle weighs, it is geared for four wheel drive and obviously well suited to that, and it has wheels that are obviously superb on snow, do not push that vehicle by riding his bumper, idiot. If I am going 25 in a 40, it is for a reason. For one thing, I would love to have a better than stock bumper, and should I be a little… unhappy, you will end up buying it for me. And, really, it probably will just be paint you bother on my vehicle (good enough to get me a new bumper though), while your car and insurance will be a real mess. Plus, you might end up buying me a top grade (steel) under-shielding, solid rock-crawling suv skis, that bumper, and maybe a little vacation somewhere, like a wild ski/hunt/camp week in Colorado, Utah, Alaska, or somewhere away from your ilk. Can you say… “Ouch, my neck!”? Just a thought, friend. Too bad I actually have a conscience. Life could be so easy, without even trying because so many people are stupid that being there when they are is half the trick, or more.
The Nag called again. She is afraid of the weather, and is thinking she will not go. She believes I can get my money back with a 24 hour notice of cancellation (fine, so she called my bluff. I told her they said 1 week notice to receive a refund, in spite of not having been told any such thing and suspecting 24 hours myself, mostly to get her to just be quiet until it was a little closer, or sure, weatherwise. Sorry, but I feel the need to treat her like a kid sometimes). Anyway, I finally just tapped it out, I am going whether she goes or not, if the weather is even decent and probably going to remain that way for a full 24 to 36 hours. Actually, that, I think, worked. And really, if she is tired, she can check the one or two things she really wants to know, and I can have fun on my own, while she goes back and sleeps. I miss her, and dearly, but only when she is gone. Lulz
I received an email from my teacher. It seems classes were called off moments after I sent my email. In spite of checking the colleges webpage, I saw nothing indicating this had been done. I am a bit miffed at the school about this. I suppose I will get over it, perhaps even survive and flourish. I am pretty sure we will get through the material, what could they do otherwise (without a refund anyway)? Still, with this many lost days, and so far, it has actually been difficult to stay on track. Reading ahead is asking for a punch in the nose and mucho confusion. Huh? Yeah, that, exactly. What? Okay, I will stop that.
I have been spending 12 hours or more blowing snow this week, so I have not messed with skiing. Skiing has several interests, in part as an exercise activity, in part to test cold weather gear, in part as a skill I wish to master for real world use. Though, of course, I learn nothing about skiing by not doing, I do get the other two managed. As well, when I tell a teacher I do not wish to risk driving, I mean it. School IS a joy for me, mostly. So, risking the roads to ski just has not been a priority. It is not completely the icy conditions, or potential for ice, though those are considerations, it is mostly the idiots who think front wheel drive vehicles are good enough for the conditions (often while talking away on a cell phone!). I really have not seen four wheel drive vehicles out being macho, I have seen subcompacts trying to prove they are equal to my vehicle. And worse, I have seen sports cars out “having fun”. Idiots, I pretty much put my Camaro SS up for the winter, it is absolutely useless and very dangerous to me and everyone else on the road. There is no driving slow enough with it (though I miss it dearly, I wish I could have kept it for summer fun).
Just a tip, if you see a vehicle that weighs three times what your vehicle weighs, it is geared for four wheel drive and obviously well suited to that, and it has wheels that are obviously superb on snow, do not push that vehicle by riding his bumper, idiot. If I am going 25 in a 40, it is for a reason. For one thing, I would love to have a better than stock bumper, and should I be a little… unhappy, you will end up buying it for me. And, really, it probably will just be paint you bother on my vehicle (good enough to get me a new bumper though), while your car and insurance will be a real mess. Plus, you might end up buying me a top grade (steel) under-shielding, solid rock-crawling suv skis, that bumper, and maybe a little vacation somewhere, like a wild ski/hunt/camp week in Colorado, Utah, Alaska, or somewhere away from your ilk. Can you say… “Ouch, my neck!”? Just a thought, friend. Too bad I actually have a conscience. Life could be so easy, without even trying because so many people are stupid that being there when they are is half the trick, or more.
The Nag called again. She is afraid of the weather, and is thinking she will not go. She believes I can get my money back with a 24 hour notice of cancellation (fine, so she called my bluff. I told her they said 1 week notice to receive a refund, in spite of not having been told any such thing and suspecting 24 hours myself, mostly to get her to just be quiet until it was a little closer, or sure, weatherwise. Sorry, but I feel the need to treat her like a kid sometimes). Anyway, I finally just tapped it out, I am going whether she goes or not, if the weather is even decent and probably going to remain that way for a full 24 to 36 hours. Actually, that, I think, worked. And really, if she is tired, she can check the one or two things she really wants to know, and I can have fun on my own, while she goes back and sleeps. I miss her, and dearly, but only when she is gone. Lulz
Wednesday, February 6, 2008
Two more snow clearings since last I wrote. (Day 30)
Between the snow and rain yesterday, and the snow today, there is a mess to deal with. I shoveled last night, shoveling since it was late when I finally got around to doing anything (as it seemed to stop and I had hoped to get some of it done, plus I wanted to leave without tracking through snow). Oh well, by the time I made it to the grocery store, then had a breakfast, snow had started falling again, and so heavy that it was as if I had not shoveled. Oh well, it was good to get out, and I really needed what I bought.
My lady friend had thought to cancel our weekend event. She had heard that we were to have snow from now to 9 or 10 days out. I just happened to be looking at one of my three online weather sites, so I suggested she allow me to check. No, she had to go, but wondered if I could check and call back. Done, no snow at least three days before our departure date, and then a light snow at that. So, I called back and let her know if she just does not wish to go, that would be fine too. It seems it was just the incorrect weather reports (gossip) she had heard. So, the thing is on.
It rained, yesterday, before class. Then it snowed. Hovering at freezing, the weather was just too much of a stretch. I have a 4x4, but I see no reason to drive on ice, or even risk it. So, I emailed my instructor several hours before class and just explained that I would not be to school. I have heard nothing back, so I am not sure if I am in trouble or not.
Oh, at Bane’s, I keep having a difficulty when I hear women being touted as combatants. He asked why, and I really had to think about it. Up to this point, it has just been a knee-jerk reaction, literally pretty much. I did not really want to look at it, but went ahead and thought about it. I think there are three primaries with a minor thing that tugs me to react so staunchly. The first is that, at 10 or 11, 5’11” and a little over a hundred pounds, I had had enough of beatings from my mother. She, at the time, was 5’11” and 160 (at least, overweight but strong for a woman, having been a farm girl). When she finished that one, I turned around and told her if she tried to do that again, I would take her down, and meant it. So foolish was this, and probably many, women, that I knew it was bound to happen. So, as an 11 year old, I had to be the man of the house, and get myself into a foster home. And, yes, she probably did deserve it. Second, after watching my Mom get smacked down like a child by my adoptive father, I have no doubt about things. He was not a fighter, he had nothing that made him any different from any other normal guy, and my mother was a farm girl, a tough one, definitely a bit of a tom boy too. Next is that, though I always have kept myself in line, if some woman is stupid enough to punch me, I will show her why she should never ever do that. I have rage from many sources. Having to put up with women is not a small one. Especially when women actually think they are anything like my equal. I just think it a great folly to try and get women to think they have any chance at real combat equality. Oh, last, the extra. I have a cousin who decided to go into wrestling. I am quite sure they put her on hormones, testosterone or hgh, maybe both. She was able to compete, dosed up so much she looked like a boy, though she ended up tearing out a shoulder joint after only a few years of this (now she, again, looks more like her Mom than her Dad). Anyway, when she got married, she tried to compete with her husband, a cop. Guess what, she lost her ass, probably literally. Ok, having said that, I will no longer comment at Bane’s about this. I am pretty sure I have taken care of my part of my problem, or at least I have identified the problems. Well, he did ask, and… I did not know until I thought about it.
Oh, I am not sure I have seen every comment I made. But I have seen quite a few. I think next time I will disassemble my access to the internet next time! How embarrassing, how rude, how crude, I have no defense. If it means anything, it was great fun, I think… I was adding salt to my beer, I was very thirsty, 10 beers went down in 2 hours or less, I think. I am glad I forgot I have fine whiskey, fine gin, fine vodka, and superb scotch.
Update:
It is snowing so fast, I cannot keep up with the snow blower. I did much of what I usually do, clearing one neighbors whole drive (their vehicle was gone), and part of the other neighbor’s driveway, plus quite a bit of sidewalk. However, as I was finishing my drive, a neighbor to my north about 3 houses came by and asked how much. At first, I thought… this guy must be stoned, he has to see I have a monster snow blower. Now, I figured he meant the other way, but I thought it best to just let him speak his peace. It ends up he needed my help. He was doing his place, by hand. The snow was too heavy (wet) for his snow blower. This was fine, but there was a problem, he needed to take care of his Mother’s drive, and he had to be to work soon. Never a problem, really. Someone is taking care of my Mother’s snow removal, I consider this a type of return. He insists on offering me money, much to my chagrin, but I end up taking it (I had little choice). Well, I will use the money for gas. He says he is a griller too, and promised to take care of me this summer. Heck, I can do that. I had been hoping to get something like a street party, but I did not know any of the black guys. Yeah, it is difficult, for me, to reach out. So, we will see this summer.
Well, I think I will have a beer or two. No worries, that is all I have, and it is all I am interested in having. Okay, maybe 4 beers. Oh, well, at least I did not have a hangover last time. Beer usually will not give me one though, even if I drink a case (unless I then drink some hard stuff too, on top of it). After working, and with 8 inches on the ground for a good part of that work, it was harder work this time, beer is a great treat.
My lady friend had thought to cancel our weekend event. She had heard that we were to have snow from now to 9 or 10 days out. I just happened to be looking at one of my three online weather sites, so I suggested she allow me to check. No, she had to go, but wondered if I could check and call back. Done, no snow at least three days before our departure date, and then a light snow at that. So, I called back and let her know if she just does not wish to go, that would be fine too. It seems it was just the incorrect weather reports (gossip) she had heard. So, the thing is on.
It rained, yesterday, before class. Then it snowed. Hovering at freezing, the weather was just too much of a stretch. I have a 4x4, but I see no reason to drive on ice, or even risk it. So, I emailed my instructor several hours before class and just explained that I would not be to school. I have heard nothing back, so I am not sure if I am in trouble or not.
Oh, at Bane’s, I keep having a difficulty when I hear women being touted as combatants. He asked why, and I really had to think about it. Up to this point, it has just been a knee-jerk reaction, literally pretty much. I did not really want to look at it, but went ahead and thought about it. I think there are three primaries with a minor thing that tugs me to react so staunchly. The first is that, at 10 or 11, 5’11” and a little over a hundred pounds, I had had enough of beatings from my mother. She, at the time, was 5’11” and 160 (at least, overweight but strong for a woman, having been a farm girl). When she finished that one, I turned around and told her if she tried to do that again, I would take her down, and meant it. So foolish was this, and probably many, women, that I knew it was bound to happen. So, as an 11 year old, I had to be the man of the house, and get myself into a foster home. And, yes, she probably did deserve it. Second, after watching my Mom get smacked down like a child by my adoptive father, I have no doubt about things. He was not a fighter, he had nothing that made him any different from any other normal guy, and my mother was a farm girl, a tough one, definitely a bit of a tom boy too. Next is that, though I always have kept myself in line, if some woman is stupid enough to punch me, I will show her why she should never ever do that. I have rage from many sources. Having to put up with women is not a small one. Especially when women actually think they are anything like my equal. I just think it a great folly to try and get women to think they have any chance at real combat equality. Oh, last, the extra. I have a cousin who decided to go into wrestling. I am quite sure they put her on hormones, testosterone or hgh, maybe both. She was able to compete, dosed up so much she looked like a boy, though she ended up tearing out a shoulder joint after only a few years of this (now she, again, looks more like her Mom than her Dad). Anyway, when she got married, she tried to compete with her husband, a cop. Guess what, she lost her ass, probably literally. Ok, having said that, I will no longer comment at Bane’s about this. I am pretty sure I have taken care of my part of my problem, or at least I have identified the problems. Well, he did ask, and… I did not know until I thought about it.
Oh, I am not sure I have seen every comment I made. But I have seen quite a few. I think next time I will disassemble my access to the internet next time! How embarrassing, how rude, how crude, I have no defense. If it means anything, it was great fun, I think… I was adding salt to my beer, I was very thirsty, 10 beers went down in 2 hours or less, I think. I am glad I forgot I have fine whiskey, fine gin, fine vodka, and superb scotch.
Update:
It is snowing so fast, I cannot keep up with the snow blower. I did much of what I usually do, clearing one neighbors whole drive (their vehicle was gone), and part of the other neighbor’s driveway, plus quite a bit of sidewalk. However, as I was finishing my drive, a neighbor to my north about 3 houses came by and asked how much. At first, I thought… this guy must be stoned, he has to see I have a monster snow blower. Now, I figured he meant the other way, but I thought it best to just let him speak his peace. It ends up he needed my help. He was doing his place, by hand. The snow was too heavy (wet) for his snow blower. This was fine, but there was a problem, he needed to take care of his Mother’s drive, and he had to be to work soon. Never a problem, really. Someone is taking care of my Mother’s snow removal, I consider this a type of return. He insists on offering me money, much to my chagrin, but I end up taking it (I had little choice). Well, I will use the money for gas. He says he is a griller too, and promised to take care of me this summer. Heck, I can do that. I had been hoping to get something like a street party, but I did not know any of the black guys. Yeah, it is difficult, for me, to reach out. So, we will see this summer.
Well, I think I will have a beer or two. No worries, that is all I have, and it is all I am interested in having. Okay, maybe 4 beers. Oh, well, at least I did not have a hangover last time. Beer usually will not give me one though, even if I drink a case (unless I then drink some hard stuff too, on top of it). After working, and with 8 inches on the ground for a good part of that work, it was harder work this time, beer is a great treat.
Tuesday, February 5, 2008
Oh-oh, somebody got smashed last night. (Day 29)
I did not mean to do so. I could not wake up, all the way. I could not rest, I had just slept 17 hours or something, if not back to back. I was stuck. Like if I have a bowel blockage, I took a laxative aimed at the particular blockage. In this case, it was a mental blockage, so beer seemed the correct medicine. Now, I did not intend to drink 10 beers. The bar keep kept bringing them. I tipped well in food and blogging, I think? Well, I did finally get to sleep. For those of you who are about to jump me, go ahead. I will take my dues, if it is correct.
I have read some of what I wrote… Okay, only two so far. Generally, and so far, I think I agree with what I wrote, though I did cuss, not something I normally do, nor something I appreciate here there or anywhere. Why have I only looked at two? Well, I do not remember where all I left my little eggs of pooh. Like I said, your unhappiness, to a point, is my unhappiness. I will take my right dues.
I have read some of what I wrote… Okay, only two so far. Generally, and so far, I think I agree with what I wrote, though I did cuss, not something I normally do, nor something I appreciate here there or anywhere. Why have I only looked at two? Well, I do not remember where all I left my little eggs of pooh. Like I said, your unhappiness, to a point, is my unhappiness. I will take my right dues.
Monday, February 4, 2008
Is seven hours of sleep still a nap?
Yeah, ok, I probably agree. That was no nap. What is worse, I am still tired. I have spent the last four hours trying to more fully wake up, to no avail. I may end up just going back to bed. I am not sure if I dreamed, though I suspect I did. I, of course, have done nothing else on my list. I cannot even get to homework. Bed time again, I believe.
Not bad for a gimp.
I have been doing well, in spite of not even feeling like doing much. I have not quite become elite, except perhaps in the world of gimp Olympics. Oh, quit whining, I will get to you next. Despite the rough start, again, this morning, I was able to get my morning activities carried out, wake up smoothly, and then make a bit of a plan for the day. More, I have implemented some of what I had planned to do, and a few extra items, if the original list is not complete.
Snow removal was a first, and I was a little desperate to get it done. With the rain coming in on top of what seems to be another 6 inches or more of snow, I was worried about the gunk freezing into ice concrete. I was able to get my and my neighbor's areas taken care of in this regard. The slush was messy to work with, and slowed the process quite a bit with the depth added to the moisture content. After that, I headed to the store and picked up a few items, and more, on my list. Then I grabbed a McDonalds meal. I just am in no mood to cook, and the kitchen needs cleaned first anyway. Instead of taking the groceries and lunch in and eating right then, as I had planned, I decided to widen the path through the snow in my driveway. That was quite a chore. I had let it slide, and over time, it was becoming difficult to back out unless I did it just right. So, I grab the shovel and dig. Then I dig, dig, and then dig some more. I had been quite lazy, and the snow had piled to at least 4 foot over the areas, on each side of the drive, I meant to clear. And, land length, there was probably 6 feet of the right side and 3 feet on the left side, plus I wanted to bank it a bit, the snow that I was scooping out. McDonalds not only tasted good after I finished, I felt vindicated in the calorie dump.
I still have a few things to do. I really want to pick up the skis, I would like to get Rocky some more pals, I plan on working on homework, and of course I would like to post on my blog. Or, not. We will see. Doh! I swear you have no sense of my humor. I will probably get most of my wants and needs met. I will also probably find an extra thing or two to do (like refilling some water jugs, I only drink bottled water, a trifle at 24 cents per gallon plus the seeming link to the past when people would go to the well for their water). And, I might even get in a nap. I can hardly believe it is only 11:50 though, plenty of time.
Oh, nap. I think I heard the word, or someone wrote it, or is it just a symbol permanently stamped under my eyelids. Hmm, I think I will go ponder this.
Snow removal was a first, and I was a little desperate to get it done. With the rain coming in on top of what seems to be another 6 inches or more of snow, I was worried about the gunk freezing into ice concrete. I was able to get my and my neighbor's areas taken care of in this regard. The slush was messy to work with, and slowed the process quite a bit with the depth added to the moisture content. After that, I headed to the store and picked up a few items, and more, on my list. Then I grabbed a McDonalds meal. I just am in no mood to cook, and the kitchen needs cleaned first anyway. Instead of taking the groceries and lunch in and eating right then, as I had planned, I decided to widen the path through the snow in my driveway. That was quite a chore. I had let it slide, and over time, it was becoming difficult to back out unless I did it just right. So, I grab the shovel and dig. Then I dig, dig, and then dig some more. I had been quite lazy, and the snow had piled to at least 4 foot over the areas, on each side of the drive, I meant to clear. And, land length, there was probably 6 feet of the right side and 3 feet on the left side, plus I wanted to bank it a bit, the snow that I was scooping out. McDonalds not only tasted good after I finished, I felt vindicated in the calorie dump.
I still have a few things to do. I really want to pick up the skis, I would like to get Rocky some more pals, I plan on working on homework, and of course I would like to post on my blog. Or, not. We will see. Doh! I swear you have no sense of my humor. I will probably get most of my wants and needs met. I will also probably find an extra thing or two to do (like refilling some water jugs, I only drink bottled water, a trifle at 24 cents per gallon plus the seeming link to the past when people would go to the well for their water). And, I might even get in a nap. I can hardly believe it is only 11:50 though, plenty of time.
Oh, nap. I think I heard the word, or someone wrote it, or is it just a symbol permanently stamped under my eyelids. Hmm, I think I will go ponder this.
Four Weeks and a tough start this morning.
Wow, I have made it tobacco free for 4 weeks as of this morning. Not a pipe, cigar, chaw, or cigarette. It has not been easy. It has been difficult, nerve wracking, and something I have had to concentrate on while needing somehow to also ignore! It is still difficult. I do not fear, as much, restarting my usage. That is not the problem. The problem is that I still feel tough. I still have not ridded myself of the withdrawals. I am a bit amazed. I swear, the first time I did this (for three months, about 6 or 7 years ago), I was better at this point. Oh well, on I go. Though I will not make the same mistake I made last time, that is, staying with my mother for a month. That undid me, as she chain smokes.
I went to sleep right after I posted that last post yesterday. I was absolutely shot. I do not even remember making it to bed, only waking at about 1:00 to use the restroom, which I had been too tired to remember to do before going to bed. Too tired to even think about staying up, I went back to bed. Then, at about 4:30, I woke up in pain that most people would have difficulty dealing with. My right leg, from toes to upper thigh, was a complete charlie horse. I could not feel the difference between bone and muscle. The whole leg was in spasm, my joints at the knee, ankle, and even toes, plus the bones in my feet, were twisted out of shape in an attempt to find ease from the spasms. I forced my mind to relax, and found a quietude of nature. It was not easy to maintain, with beads of sweat popping out on my forehead, back, and chest at least, in spite of the chill of morning. After massaging, manipulating, trying to warm, and doing everything I could for about a half an hour, I finally, through increased pain, pulled a wool sock onto the foot somehow, and then just pulled from my flesh as it tried to recover. After another 10 minutes or so, it became safe to rejoin my corpse. Well, like a bad dream, it has past. Though my joints and foot bones hurt a bit, and the muscles seem to be a bit sore for the event.
Hmm, I better check outside. I swear I just heard thunder, and believe I saw flashes of lighting. I hope we do NOT get rain. There is no real place for it to go and on top of the snow, it is the only winter weather I truly despise.
I went to sleep right after I posted that last post yesterday. I was absolutely shot. I do not even remember making it to bed, only waking at about 1:00 to use the restroom, which I had been too tired to remember to do before going to bed. Too tired to even think about staying up, I went back to bed. Then, at about 4:30, I woke up in pain that most people would have difficulty dealing with. My right leg, from toes to upper thigh, was a complete charlie horse. I could not feel the difference between bone and muscle. The whole leg was in spasm, my joints at the knee, ankle, and even toes, plus the bones in my feet, were twisted out of shape in an attempt to find ease from the spasms. I forced my mind to relax, and found a quietude of nature. It was not easy to maintain, with beads of sweat popping out on my forehead, back, and chest at least, in spite of the chill of morning. After massaging, manipulating, trying to warm, and doing everything I could for about a half an hour, I finally, through increased pain, pulled a wool sock onto the foot somehow, and then just pulled from my flesh as it tried to recover. After another 10 minutes or so, it became safe to rejoin my corpse. Well, like a bad dream, it has past. Though my joints and foot bones hurt a bit, and the muscles seem to be a bit sore for the event.
Hmm, I better check outside. I swear I just heard thunder, and believe I saw flashes of lighting. I hope we do NOT get rain. There is no real place for it to go and on top of the snow, it is the only winter weather I truly despise.
Sunday, February 3, 2008
Not bad, not at all bad.
I was able to stay awake all day. I was quite tempted to return to bed at about 13:00. The church meeting was coming up, and though I was really tired, I had to try and make it. I have not missed a meeting yet, if I was tardy. I am working very hard to be a man of my word, what do I have to lose but a little sleep I will be getting soon enough anyway? I get in the shower, then drive to McDonalds for a quick small meal, then make it to the meeting in plenty of time. I forgot my daily missal though. I am hoping a Sister who oversees some of the affairs of our group will show me how to use it. Next time, if I remember then? After making sure the group would go on, I started some coffee. The Sister had asked that I do this from now on, and seeing as I enjoy a cup of coffee flavored coffee now and again (thanks Billiam, seriously, he hooked me up to coffee flavored coffee, if with a little help from his friends), I also enjoy making the brew for the others and myself.
The meeting ends up being short as the weather has turned sour, we find ourselves in the middle of a snow storm. I cannot swear to the amount of snow, but all said and done, I would guess we received at least 3 inches of the white fluff by the time I get home, an hour and a half from when the snow started. After returning home at 16:00 or so, I start the snow blower and hit the circuit. I do the usual three driveways, and a goodly length of sidewalk in all directions. I then retire to my cave to await the dinner hour. Goofing on the computer and just trying to stay awake, actually.
At 18:00, the appointed time for the meal, I dress and walk over to the neighbors. I go around the back of my garage, as in the interim between removing snow, waiting, and then leaving again, a great deal more snow has fallen. I do not have time to take care of icy snowprints from my boots, so I take that back way. I feel bad about leaving tracks at the neighbors (and my freshly cleared then refilled work), so I grab their shovel and clear a simple path, again but by hand this time. I then knock and am invited in.
It is always pleasant to visit that family. Conversation is good, and usually I am not too offensive. It is sort of like this blog though. I probably seem more offensive online, in this blog, because there is no context for the reader. There is no clue as to when I am in a rage, laughing at you, them, or myself, of just tweaking your trim feathers. My lack of social graces can break the silence like a chainsaw. They are quite gracious, and I hope, take things I say which might seem offensive with grains of salt and fair rebuttal or query. The conversation winds around from politics to books, music, to their family, and all of the little bits of life which we remember and care to share. Of course, without other affairs, these conversations could meander through nearly all things and for days. This is a great pleasure, and I do believe it is mutual.
Dinner is placed on the table as we finish our first rounds of conversation, and what a dinner! I am not sure what the main course would be named, only that it really was a mixed seafood and cheese treat. The fish was done perfectly, the scallops done just right, and the blend of all the ingredients was very good. Then there was a green bean salad, with chunks of cheese, a spice and oil blend, and small halved tomatoes. The salad had the added benefit of being spring like, thus a treat. Then a serving of fresh cut pineapple and bananas was served, again, hearkening to warmer times, pleasantly. For a final treat, we were offered a chocolate fondue setting, with finger graham type crackers, marshmallows, and bananas. We were given wooden skewers to poke and dip the various treats in the chocolate. Then an interesting accident occurred, by which the pineapple became dipped in chocolate, reinvigorating interest in the game, and so another round of gorging ensued. All the while, conversation was passed and parsed. Thoughts flowed, and each had their turn to add to a discussion, change the direction of the talk, or just listen. Quite pleasant, it was, in spite of my being totally exhausted. I just hope I did not let on, or that they thought I was less than chipper for any reason other than just being very tired.
A few things done, and enjoyed. A day awake, well past what I might have thought possible. Even a decent amount of snow blowing, not bad. I will have to blow the snow again tomorrow, in the two hours between returning home and visiting the neighbors for their dinner invitation, it snowed about 3 more inches, at least. I can say I have a reason to get going tomorrow. They need me. Ha Oh, I know this is not great writing, but it is as much as I can muster this moment. I just felt impelled to spit out the last of my day, as I gasp for sleep.
Good night.
The meeting ends up being short as the weather has turned sour, we find ourselves in the middle of a snow storm. I cannot swear to the amount of snow, but all said and done, I would guess we received at least 3 inches of the white fluff by the time I get home, an hour and a half from when the snow started. After returning home at 16:00 or so, I start the snow blower and hit the circuit. I do the usual three driveways, and a goodly length of sidewalk in all directions. I then retire to my cave to await the dinner hour. Goofing on the computer and just trying to stay awake, actually.
At 18:00, the appointed time for the meal, I dress and walk over to the neighbors. I go around the back of my garage, as in the interim between removing snow, waiting, and then leaving again, a great deal more snow has fallen. I do not have time to take care of icy snowprints from my boots, so I take that back way. I feel bad about leaving tracks at the neighbors (and my freshly cleared then refilled work), so I grab their shovel and clear a simple path, again but by hand this time. I then knock and am invited in.
It is always pleasant to visit that family. Conversation is good, and usually I am not too offensive. It is sort of like this blog though. I probably seem more offensive online, in this blog, because there is no context for the reader. There is no clue as to when I am in a rage, laughing at you, them, or myself, of just tweaking your trim feathers. My lack of social graces can break the silence like a chainsaw. They are quite gracious, and I hope, take things I say which might seem offensive with grains of salt and fair rebuttal or query. The conversation winds around from politics to books, music, to their family, and all of the little bits of life which we remember and care to share. Of course, without other affairs, these conversations could meander through nearly all things and for days. This is a great pleasure, and I do believe it is mutual.
Dinner is placed on the table as we finish our first rounds of conversation, and what a dinner! I am not sure what the main course would be named, only that it really was a mixed seafood and cheese treat. The fish was done perfectly, the scallops done just right, and the blend of all the ingredients was very good. Then there was a green bean salad, with chunks of cheese, a spice and oil blend, and small halved tomatoes. The salad had the added benefit of being spring like, thus a treat. Then a serving of fresh cut pineapple and bananas was served, again, hearkening to warmer times, pleasantly. For a final treat, we were offered a chocolate fondue setting, with finger graham type crackers, marshmallows, and bananas. We were given wooden skewers to poke and dip the various treats in the chocolate. Then an interesting accident occurred, by which the pineapple became dipped in chocolate, reinvigorating interest in the game, and so another round of gorging ensued. All the while, conversation was passed and parsed. Thoughts flowed, and each had their turn to add to a discussion, change the direction of the talk, or just listen. Quite pleasant, it was, in spite of my being totally exhausted. I just hope I did not let on, or that they thought I was less than chipper for any reason other than just being very tired.
A few things done, and enjoyed. A day awake, well past what I might have thought possible. Even a decent amount of snow blowing, not bad. I will have to blow the snow again tomorrow, in the two hours between returning home and visiting the neighbors for their dinner invitation, it snowed about 3 more inches, at least. I can say I have a reason to get going tomorrow. They need me. Ha Oh, I know this is not great writing, but it is as much as I can muster this moment. I just felt impelled to spit out the last of my day, as I gasp for sleep.
Good night.
Bhutto, a Little Dose of Reality:
A Dose Not Seen Since WWII
I could write a book about this, but why? Too few could see the irony. Too many have no idea how nuanced this thing is, too funny. Still, I will play out a few of my thoughts. Debate though? Proof? No, like modern science, often by the time something has been proven, it has been simplified beyond the point of functional reality and outside of true reason. So, I will not bother with such things.
Bhutto, a woman politician from a troubled nation. A politician who had been exiled because of her corruption, among other things. A politician, who to my understanding, was a socialist, perhaps communist, probably more dependent upon who she could talk into supporting her corruption. A woman, who at our suggestion yet without any support, returned home (sounds almost like we had her arm bent clean up to the breaking point to get her there). Not only that, I would guess we influenced her nation's supreme court in order for her return to even be allowed, seemingly over the objections of the nations president.
Now, this corrupt socialist politician is dead. She claims her killer, or one of them, or the leader of the killers, is the son of The Terrorist mastermind. The difference between them is that one of them officially supports presents offers a religious governance, the other, a religion free governance. Their methods of governance are so similar that Hitler, Stalin, Hussein, Bhutto, and Bin Laden (the elder, and thus junior) could probably not be differentiated as governors and governments once language and social meanings were controlled for, and actions and limits from and through the varied governments were examined.
Let me put this simply and again. We sent a socialist/communist corrupt politician back to her country, without providing security, technically to engender democracy. She ends up, according to her beliefs, being killed by the son of an equally if seemingly opposite bad guy’s son. I really enjoy the thing. Oh, about the title. As World War II was coming to an end, much of the French and Italian resistance, or the parts of those we (the Allies) considered socialist or communist, was ratted to the German, Italian, or French Axis. It was as beautiful, enjoyable, pleasant to me as the best sex, successful combat (think Flawlessss Victoryyyy, from Mortal Kombat), or my outrageous natural highs, and, fitting, then as now.
Is anyone else on this, or am I all alone? I do not care what you say, I tawt I taw a putty tat. And, as usual, the puss is going down. Well, this one already HAS gone down. Bye bye putty tat. I hope she is enjoying what goes for tea, where she is, with Arafat.
Th... th... that’s all folkths!
I could write a book about this, but why? Too few could see the irony. Too many have no idea how nuanced this thing is, too funny. Still, I will play out a few of my thoughts. Debate though? Proof? No, like modern science, often by the time something has been proven, it has been simplified beyond the point of functional reality and outside of true reason. So, I will not bother with such things.
Bhutto, a woman politician from a troubled nation. A politician who had been exiled because of her corruption, among other things. A politician, who to my understanding, was a socialist, perhaps communist, probably more dependent upon who she could talk into supporting her corruption. A woman, who at our suggestion yet without any support, returned home (sounds almost like we had her arm bent clean up to the breaking point to get her there). Not only that, I would guess we influenced her nation's supreme court in order for her return to even be allowed, seemingly over the objections of the nations president.
Now, this corrupt socialist politician is dead. She claims her killer, or one of them, or the leader of the killers, is the son of The Terrorist mastermind. The difference between them is that one of them officially supports presents offers a religious governance, the other, a religion free governance. Their methods of governance are so similar that Hitler, Stalin, Hussein, Bhutto, and Bin Laden (the elder, and thus junior) could probably not be differentiated as governors and governments once language and social meanings were controlled for, and actions and limits from and through the varied governments were examined.
Let me put this simply and again. We sent a socialist/communist corrupt politician back to her country, without providing security, technically to engender democracy. She ends up, according to her beliefs, being killed by the son of an equally if seemingly opposite bad guy’s son. I really enjoy the thing. Oh, about the title. As World War II was coming to an end, much of the French and Italian resistance, or the parts of those we (the Allies) considered socialist or communist, was ratted to the German, Italian, or French Axis. It was as beautiful, enjoyable, pleasant to me as the best sex, successful combat (think Flawlessss Victoryyyy, from Mortal Kombat), or my outrageous natural highs, and, fitting, then as now.
Is anyone else on this, or am I all alone? I do not care what you say, I tawt I taw a putty tat. And, as usual, the puss is going down. Well, this one already HAS gone down. Bye bye putty tat. I hope she is enjoying what goes for tea, where she is, with Arafat.
Th... th... that’s all folkths!
The Computer, and homework, what next? (Day 27)
My computer seems to be getting fouled up again. Something(s), programs or systems (possibly the OS, Windows XP 2x 340782p or whatever junk the latest updates indicate, as if that meant anything), have been acting in weird ways. Programs keep trying to access the internet, and by not receiving access due to the firewall, they bog the machine down. One of my email addresses, which I attempt to have Outlook handle has decided not to be functional. Once more, that same email address has become impossible to check directly, through the internet connection with my ISP’s mail server. I do not know what the problems are, nor what could have caused them. I have added nothing to my computer for over a month, not a game, not a change in firewall or other configurations, nothing. This problem has been a plague for the last few days, worsening as time goes on. There is not much I can do, at this point. I have pretty much given up, whatever happens, happens, I guess.
I keep looking over the homework assigned, the notes regarding the homework, and even looking at the book, just in case there was something useful in there. Nada, I believe I have been assigned homework I have been given no clue about how to finish. It is par for the course, I am not even going to get upset about it. I will just dig around and see if I can figure it out or find someone to show me how to do it. So much for digging in and getting to the heart of the matter. I guess I will do what I can, and as with the computer, whatever happens, happens.
On the up side, I did end up going out and putting a few down range. I only shot the .22, the Ruger 22/45. She seems to shoot well, and it was fun. I went alone, as my neighbors seemed disinterested. No problem, some Saturdays I would rather stay home too. After being out that day already, and having (for them anyway) already had a busy week, sometimes one more thing is just one thing too many. Now, I was told it was because it would be too cold, for their boys. And, of course and officially, I will accept that. But I have my suspicions.
I must have dreamed harsh last night. I do not remember anything, but when I awoke this morning, my inner thighs, my forearms, and my upper arms were getting serious charlie horses, and my knees and elbows felt like they had been twisted back, forward, out of their sockets, or something. It was a torturous morning. My left hand has finally stopped with that “dead” feeling, alternating with “pins and needles” feeling, that have alternated most of this awake period. Other than waking wrong, the sleep was good.
Oh, the withdrawal from tobacco seems to be getting milder. Instead of being a kick to the groin, it is now more like a foot roasting. I had to give up the lollipops, and my teeth, and possibly the part of the jaw becoming bruised(?) have thanked me. Still, I feel edgy, tight, and mean, a bit. When will this end?
I was wondering if anyone realizes how affirmative this election cycle is. I think about the only thing we do not have, or have not had, in this race is an actual farm animal. Although, in a relative world, given the relativity of time, another time would disagree with that last. (Shocking? Shut up, modernist neophyte! This 150 year experiment is nothing compared with the weight and length (and truth) of history, and the facts therein. Beyond, if you believe slavery is over, you are more foully blinded by your progressive masters than the dolt I generally take you for.) Of course, I see Obomba as a distraction meant to make Hitlery seem like a tame choice. Perhaps he has gotten out of hand, but knowing the deceptive nature of both the Lizard Queen and The Party she belongs too, I have serious doubts about that. The boy knows very well what happens should he get out of place with the mistress of the modernist plantation, probably. It is sort of like that News Network channel which is actually a generic CNN (they took off the “C” and spelled the rest out, so people who realize what filthy communist liars CNN actually is will watch without realizing directly what they are watching, evil bastards, all of them.
Well, ok, so I am rambling. Pissing off political correctos on the way, loverly. Who asked you anyway? Me, being defensive or combative? Bugger off, thought thief. (yes, he makes this crap up on the fly, and you ought to know that by know… again, bugger off.)
I keep looking over the homework assigned, the notes regarding the homework, and even looking at the book, just in case there was something useful in there. Nada, I believe I have been assigned homework I have been given no clue about how to finish. It is par for the course, I am not even going to get upset about it. I will just dig around and see if I can figure it out or find someone to show me how to do it. So much for digging in and getting to the heart of the matter. I guess I will do what I can, and as with the computer, whatever happens, happens.
On the up side, I did end up going out and putting a few down range. I only shot the .22, the Ruger 22/45. She seems to shoot well, and it was fun. I went alone, as my neighbors seemed disinterested. No problem, some Saturdays I would rather stay home too. After being out that day already, and having (for them anyway) already had a busy week, sometimes one more thing is just one thing too many. Now, I was told it was because it would be too cold, for their boys. And, of course and officially, I will accept that. But I have my suspicions.
I must have dreamed harsh last night. I do not remember anything, but when I awoke this morning, my inner thighs, my forearms, and my upper arms were getting serious charlie horses, and my knees and elbows felt like they had been twisted back, forward, out of their sockets, or something. It was a torturous morning. My left hand has finally stopped with that “dead” feeling, alternating with “pins and needles” feeling, that have alternated most of this awake period. Other than waking wrong, the sleep was good.
Oh, the withdrawal from tobacco seems to be getting milder. Instead of being a kick to the groin, it is now more like a foot roasting. I had to give up the lollipops, and my teeth, and possibly the part of the jaw becoming bruised(?) have thanked me. Still, I feel edgy, tight, and mean, a bit. When will this end?
I was wondering if anyone realizes how affirmative this election cycle is. I think about the only thing we do not have, or have not had, in this race is an actual farm animal. Although, in a relative world, given the relativity of time, another time would disagree with that last. (Shocking? Shut up, modernist neophyte! This 150 year experiment is nothing compared with the weight and length (and truth) of history, and the facts therein. Beyond, if you believe slavery is over, you are more foully blinded by your progressive masters than the dolt I generally take you for.) Of course, I see Obomba as a distraction meant to make Hitlery seem like a tame choice. Perhaps he has gotten out of hand, but knowing the deceptive nature of both the Lizard Queen and The Party she belongs too, I have serious doubts about that. The boy knows very well what happens should he get out of place with the mistress of the modernist plantation, probably. It is sort of like that News Network channel which is actually a generic CNN (they took off the “C” and spelled the rest out, so people who realize what filthy communist liars CNN actually is will watch without realizing directly what they are watching, evil bastards, all of them.
Well, ok, so I am rambling. Pissing off political correctos on the way, loverly. Who asked you anyway? Me, being defensive or combative? Bugger off, thought thief. (yes, he makes this crap up on the fly, and you ought to know that by know… again, bugger off.)
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