.
.
Given the givens, she can't do as much as she used to be able to do. And steps are too much. So she had... enticed, a woman actually, to help. Her bedroom is now on the ground floor and her house is getting neatened. As a favor, she cooked dinner for the woman, or women. A true treat, actually. So she wasn't able to get to the phone. I do understand.
I told her, after watching an episode of a show in which the last vid existed, that I thought immediately of her. She isn't familiar with the show, so I described the principle characters in the scene and how the scene played out. Oh, she got a kick out of it, and laughed, and cried, and... Glad I wasn't closer. All I'm saying. Though she suggested that only I could get away with such a... notion... I think she was being more diplomatic. And yet, I think she really did enjoy the sentiment, somehow. Anyway.
After all that, a fine discussion. She is doing better, or as better as better is these days. With age, medicine is more often discussed. But too, the good things. Oh, she knows I love her. It isn't just because I say so, it's in the voice, and eyes. Mothers have their witching ways, and like certain of their sons, can see right past the phone and into the eyes. Indeed. She always knew I had that too.
It's been a good day. Some things were done. I changed the water for the dishes once. I did a few other things. But I am sore. I wasn't so tired, really, just sore. Mostly my forearms, but not only there. I hope a bit more rest tomorrow, other then finishing the trash and maybe recycling, also taking out the not as easy to collect, and getting that all to the curb. I keep trying. Monday maybe more, and on to some business. Good night.
Saturday, November 14, 2015
Thinking of mother.
.
.
They are the most jealous of creatures. And a bit of darkness resides in each. As it is, there are three who can claim that, if only one is called, only two remain alive. I called a bit ago, just went to voice message. Odd, though maybe she is working, or driving in heavier traffic, or napping. Or simply doesn't wish to speak to her sweet Ferg... Doom. No matter, I'll call later. Might not be the king of hell, but whoever one is, mother is... mother.
Any of them who watch this might well be so upset. Until or unless they get something for their pain. Witches! Love your mothers, I suppose. Just don't trust her. Even if she thinks she has your best interests at heart, what she will do to get her way is... Never mind. Do note, I still call. Mostly. And watch closely. Mostly laughing at the notions. Mostly is operative.
I can't do a whole lot today. My forearms are absolutely useless. The cramps aren't too bad. But the overworking, then the cramping, have combined left those areas so weak that pouring out of a gallon of milk is a bit of a test. I grew soft being down so long, then truly overextended, given my condition, yesterday. Lovely though. I enjoyed hitting as many areas as I hit, having food in the cave, my camera found and ready for a project, trash and recycling (the easy stuff) out, cat litter tended, dishes set, a load of laundry pushed through, and literally another dozen things, plus a trip to the post office and grocery store. Brutal though. I am hoping to keep doing, and have been if much less and slower today, and then kick back into fuller gear before long. At least once I can use my arms again. Ugh.
I grilled several steaks, and toasted some of the bread along with garlic powder and butter. Oh, man. When it has been a long time since I have eaten, and more eaten beef, it is a treasure. Oh, I've learned to like this and that and enjoy much else. It's just that I need fatty beef once in a while. More often if I could eat well, and afford it. This will do me for a bit. Oh, I used the bread I didn't care for as to sandwich making. It worked perfectly in this application, if I won't do this much, so... At least I won't waste it all.
I see the French are in trouble. A minority that is better armed than their police, in part because they simply wouldn't or couldn't refuse "immigrant communities" arms that not even their police forces have access to, and that in part because they have nearly completely disarmed their civilians. Now they are locking the sheep in with the wolves, hoping it will all work out. As a Buddhist I favor well recently said, there is no sleeping with rabid dogs. I honestly don't think it matters what the French think of their government, they simply don't have a means of changing it, or expelling the muslims. Best to start with government officials, but then... they were elected. Who, really, is to blame? Not my problem and there is nothing I can do about it.
I will pray that the French come to their senses before they lose their minds, or nation. Then again there are many lost causes I send prayers regarding. I know there will always be the poor, and yet I pray for them. I cannot undo what Christ has noted. I pray for peace, knowing likewise that there will always be war and rumors of war, especially if what I suggest is my nature has any truth, but even so. My Lord has stated that to be the case as well. Though these things, neither, should be a great worry. Only things to resist, if not to lose oneself resisting. Only to do what little we can in true faith, and in hope, to the tune of charity. No more. No less. So, I pray. Secular versus a false faith, and it is obvious which will win if nothing is done, or even too little is done. Not my concern, in the end.
Up at 16:00. I'll try to make it a few more hours. I may call mother, again, shortly. See if her royal highness has a moment for her beloved child. *grins* Later.
.
They are the most jealous of creatures. And a bit of darkness resides in each. As it is, there are three who can claim that, if only one is called, only two remain alive. I called a bit ago, just went to voice message. Odd, though maybe she is working, or driving in heavier traffic, or napping. Or simply doesn't wish to speak to her sweet Ferg... Doom. No matter, I'll call later. Might not be the king of hell, but whoever one is, mother is... mother.
Any of them who watch this might well be so upset. Until or unless they get something for their pain. Witches! Love your mothers, I suppose. Just don't trust her. Even if she thinks she has your best interests at heart, what she will do to get her way is... Never mind. Do note, I still call. Mostly. And watch closely. Mostly laughing at the notions. Mostly is operative.
I can't do a whole lot today. My forearms are absolutely useless. The cramps aren't too bad. But the overworking, then the cramping, have combined left those areas so weak that pouring out of a gallon of milk is a bit of a test. I grew soft being down so long, then truly overextended, given my condition, yesterday. Lovely though. I enjoyed hitting as many areas as I hit, having food in the cave, my camera found and ready for a project, trash and recycling (the easy stuff) out, cat litter tended, dishes set, a load of laundry pushed through, and literally another dozen things, plus a trip to the post office and grocery store. Brutal though. I am hoping to keep doing, and have been if much less and slower today, and then kick back into fuller gear before long. At least once I can use my arms again. Ugh.
I grilled several steaks, and toasted some of the bread along with garlic powder and butter. Oh, man. When it has been a long time since I have eaten, and more eaten beef, it is a treasure. Oh, I've learned to like this and that and enjoy much else. It's just that I need fatty beef once in a while. More often if I could eat well, and afford it. This will do me for a bit. Oh, I used the bread I didn't care for as to sandwich making. It worked perfectly in this application, if I won't do this much, so... At least I won't waste it all.
I see the French are in trouble. A minority that is better armed than their police, in part because they simply wouldn't or couldn't refuse "immigrant communities" arms that not even their police forces have access to, and that in part because they have nearly completely disarmed their civilians. Now they are locking the sheep in with the wolves, hoping it will all work out. As a Buddhist I favor well recently said, there is no sleeping with rabid dogs. I honestly don't think it matters what the French think of their government, they simply don't have a means of changing it, or expelling the muslims. Best to start with government officials, but then... they were elected. Who, really, is to blame? Not my problem and there is nothing I can do about it.
I will pray that the French come to their senses before they lose their minds, or nation. Then again there are many lost causes I send prayers regarding. I know there will always be the poor, and yet I pray for them. I cannot undo what Christ has noted. I pray for peace, knowing likewise that there will always be war and rumors of war, especially if what I suggest is my nature has any truth, but even so. My Lord has stated that to be the case as well. Though these things, neither, should be a great worry. Only things to resist, if not to lose oneself resisting. Only to do what little we can in true faith, and in hope, to the tune of charity. No more. No less. So, I pray. Secular versus a false faith, and it is obvious which will win if nothing is done, or even too little is done. Not my concern, in the end.
Up at 16:00. I'll try to make it a few more hours. I may call mother, again, shortly. See if her royal highness has a moment for her beloved child. *grins* Later.
Not everything works out.
.
.
The lens I purchased doesn't seem to be panning out. I checked glass clarity immediately upon opening. That seemed fine, though scads of photos would be an additional piece of evidence. After arriving home with the goods and shopping, putting everything up, and settling in, I didn't have the energy to try to new lens. While waking, though, I was quite curious.
The thing with old glass on newer bodies is that they don't talk. You have to do some of the leg work. It IS an af lens, but the new bodies don't understand what they are. You can program the new lens, to a very minor degree. The maximum aperture is simple enough, but with a zoom lens... only one focal length can be entered. Mine, for example, runs from 35 to 70 mm. So... what to put in? I did a minor bit of research. The middle point, it was suggested, in several sources, was the way to go. Done. Now... I ran with it. Nothing was doing anything, which was, sort of, fine. I figured I would have to work with this lens in mostly manual, all manual I suspected. And yet I could not get it to perform. I could not bring it into focus. I will do a bit more research. Perhaps the lens did break in transit, or wasn't working when sent. I will tinker with it for a few more days. If I can't get anything clean from it, no matter how good it can be or should be, I will simply have to return it. I may have to find a more local shop for lenses. Since the economy took a major dump, the local middling college town stopped having (as far as I have been able to find) a photo shop. The next town that might/should have such a shop is about an hour drive. I suppose, if I don't have to do it on a timed basis, I might, eventually, be able to make it there. Just to see the lens before buying, no shipping or returns. If the clerk can't bring it into focus, take some photos, and then I see those on the laptop (if I can get that right), then I won't buy. Can't trust anyone, though that isn't new.
I'll tinker a bit more, just not at night. I'll wait until daylight, maybe even go outside. I'll compare and contrast with the prime. I am a noob. Noobs are teh stupid. Which is fine. Ignorance isn't truly stupidity, at least if you work to rectify that. Only if ignorance is a choice is it a form of stupidity. Though if someone is too weak to be escape ignorance, they need that mansplained and then they need to shut up. Only if they can't learn. If they can, they need to get to it, or again shut up. Choices. Can't have both. Men hammer each other over that, and it works. Not so with women, or even very many men these days. Politeness is supposed to trump function, and fail is the obvious cost. Bleh. Anyway, I'll tinker. Might be me. With a little help, study, practice, and such, I should be able to figure this out in the next few days. Oh, and I best find the battery charger and get the extra camera battery going. I have plenty of AA and AAA batteries, which will also work, but that gets spendy and annoying in the long term. Still, if all else fails, that's why I have those.
All I know is if this fails, try that. If that fails too, improvise. If it all fails, reconsider your wants, needs, direction, speed, and all else. If you have no other choice, then find the way. If it really must be done, guess what? It will be done. If not, then it's just you. It all seems so simple. If that is very false. Ask and you shall receive if God helps he who helps himself. Both are true, they flavor, modify, each other.
Sandwich time! I might butter the roll, and grill that, but the rest will be cold. I think I have mayo, perhaps sparkly Italian dressing too. Ah, but no lettuce. I did forget that. Maybe next time I am in. Even kale on that ain't too bad, if you don't mind a little chew. Oh? No editing. I'm not quite able right lately. Later.
.
The lens I purchased doesn't seem to be panning out. I checked glass clarity immediately upon opening. That seemed fine, though scads of photos would be an additional piece of evidence. After arriving home with the goods and shopping, putting everything up, and settling in, I didn't have the energy to try to new lens. While waking, though, I was quite curious.
The thing with old glass on newer bodies is that they don't talk. You have to do some of the leg work. It IS an af lens, but the new bodies don't understand what they are. You can program the new lens, to a very minor degree. The maximum aperture is simple enough, but with a zoom lens... only one focal length can be entered. Mine, for example, runs from 35 to 70 mm. So... what to put in? I did a minor bit of research. The middle point, it was suggested, in several sources, was the way to go. Done. Now... I ran with it. Nothing was doing anything, which was, sort of, fine. I figured I would have to work with this lens in mostly manual, all manual I suspected. And yet I could not get it to perform. I could not bring it into focus. I will do a bit more research. Perhaps the lens did break in transit, or wasn't working when sent. I will tinker with it for a few more days. If I can't get anything clean from it, no matter how good it can be or should be, I will simply have to return it. I may have to find a more local shop for lenses. Since the economy took a major dump, the local middling college town stopped having (as far as I have been able to find) a photo shop. The next town that might/should have such a shop is about an hour drive. I suppose, if I don't have to do it on a timed basis, I might, eventually, be able to make it there. Just to see the lens before buying, no shipping or returns. If the clerk can't bring it into focus, take some photos, and then I see those on the laptop (if I can get that right), then I won't buy. Can't trust anyone, though that isn't new.
I'll tinker a bit more, just not at night. I'll wait until daylight, maybe even go outside. I'll compare and contrast with the prime. I am a noob. Noobs are teh stupid. Which is fine. Ignorance isn't truly stupidity, at least if you work to rectify that. Only if ignorance is a choice is it a form of stupidity. Though if someone is too weak to be escape ignorance, they need that mansplained and then they need to shut up. Only if they can't learn. If they can, they need to get to it, or again shut up. Choices. Can't have both. Men hammer each other over that, and it works. Not so with women, or even very many men these days. Politeness is supposed to trump function, and fail is the obvious cost. Bleh. Anyway, I'll tinker. Might be me. With a little help, study, practice, and such, I should be able to figure this out in the next few days. Oh, and I best find the battery charger and get the extra camera battery going. I have plenty of AA and AAA batteries, which will also work, but that gets spendy and annoying in the long term. Still, if all else fails, that's why I have those.
All I know is if this fails, try that. If that fails too, improvise. If it all fails, reconsider your wants, needs, direction, speed, and all else. If you have no other choice, then find the way. If it really must be done, guess what? It will be done. If not, then it's just you. It all seems so simple. If that is very false. Ask and you shall receive if God helps he who helps himself. Both are true, they flavor, modify, each other.
Sandwich time! I might butter the roll, and grill that, but the rest will be cold. I think I have mayo, perhaps sparkly Italian dressing too. Ah, but no lettuce. I did forget that. Maybe next time I am in. Even kale on that ain't too bad, if you don't mind a little chew. Oh? No editing. I'm not quite able right lately. Later.
A little work seemed to help.
.
.
I have, along with all else, been pushing to move my day into daylight hours, or closer. With the work that was done yesterday I moved the goal post between two and three hours toward my goal. Only four to five more hours to go. And actually I had been sliding backwards on that.
I did more yesterday than accounted. Some bigger and smaller jobs, three average if averaged. Not bad, really. However, today, my forearms are cramping. It started yesterday afternoon. I can still do a few things today, just not bigger things. Hmm, I can find more trash bags though. Oh, and I found my camera. So... I do have stuff go missing, it just isn't stuff for insurance company consideration. Boxes of trash bags, zip-lock bags, little things like that. So I'm pretty sure it's small domestic use, or just something a kid finds interesting. They leave the bigger items, but don't mind borrowing other things. More annoying, usually, than anything else. Still, I best not catch them. And, no, I wouldn't shoot first. If they tried to run I might well attempt to tackle, which in real terms, might be worse. Even with solid efforts at not actually harming. While a thief is a thief, there are... layers, depths, differences.
Ah, I wanted to find my camera, actually, to begin taking pictures, before and after. Both as a photographic project and as an incentive to do more and keep going. Will any of it happen? Don't know. I do know I have my camera, a decent lens, a secondary lens (which at 35 to 70, with the cropping, is 52.5 to 105 mm (sort of... not quite as direct, and more visual than actual... never mind, just trust me, sort of)). Well, and that makes the 50 mm prime act more like a 75 mm. The latter is feet focused, the former has some on camera adjustments. And the lighting in here is atrocious, which is excellent as a starter lab for low-light work, well and lighting. Next month or the month after I plan on buying off-camera potential speedlights, with diffusers and a small kit really. It isn't just the cave I hope to target, but foods as I work on things. Perhaps a photo journal/recipe card for producing kefir, photos of my favorite little home cooked/made items. Pictures of the girls being girls. Even out into my yard, and as it begins to snow.
What makes a photographer good, or possibly great? It isn't the best body or glass, the snazziest pro classes, or youtube vids... it's take the camera out, learning to adjust for this and that, and snapping until your fingers are sore while pulling from the lot, keeping in mind the shots and how or why this or that proved to tell the story more surely, and how it was able to be captured, then making that repeatable. After that, there comes even more in-depth technicals, followed by improving storytelling, and back and forth until you die. If you are ever as good as you can get you might as well quit photography. It, like all other skills, is always a work in progress. Or you begin losing your skills. It's that simple.
Oh, great. First thing this morning? Not one but two bloody noses. I wasn't thinking when I went to gargle after brushing. You do realize proper gargling requires, at least for me, a closed mouth. And, you do realize, if you didn't think to gulp air before hand, that closing your mouth with your nose blocked with tp means no blowholes? Yep. I held out for 15 seconds, but I must have just exhaled before I started gargling. No air is no air, no matter how big your lungs air. *splat* :p
Later.
.
I have, along with all else, been pushing to move my day into daylight hours, or closer. With the work that was done yesterday I moved the goal post between two and three hours toward my goal. Only four to five more hours to go. And actually I had been sliding backwards on that.
I did more yesterday than accounted. Some bigger and smaller jobs, three average if averaged. Not bad, really. However, today, my forearms are cramping. It started yesterday afternoon. I can still do a few things today, just not bigger things. Hmm, I can find more trash bags though. Oh, and I found my camera. So... I do have stuff go missing, it just isn't stuff for insurance company consideration. Boxes of trash bags, zip-lock bags, little things like that. So I'm pretty sure it's small domestic use, or just something a kid finds interesting. They leave the bigger items, but don't mind borrowing other things. More annoying, usually, than anything else. Still, I best not catch them. And, no, I wouldn't shoot first. If they tried to run I might well attempt to tackle, which in real terms, might be worse. Even with solid efforts at not actually harming. While a thief is a thief, there are... layers, depths, differences.
Ah, I wanted to find my camera, actually, to begin taking pictures, before and after. Both as a photographic project and as an incentive to do more and keep going. Will any of it happen? Don't know. I do know I have my camera, a decent lens, a secondary lens (which at 35 to 70, with the cropping, is 52.5 to 105 mm (sort of... not quite as direct, and more visual than actual... never mind, just trust me, sort of)). Well, and that makes the 50 mm prime act more like a 75 mm. The latter is feet focused, the former has some on camera adjustments. And the lighting in here is atrocious, which is excellent as a starter lab for low-light work, well and lighting. Next month or the month after I plan on buying off-camera potential speedlights, with diffusers and a small kit really. It isn't just the cave I hope to target, but foods as I work on things. Perhaps a photo journal/recipe card for producing kefir, photos of my favorite little home cooked/made items. Pictures of the girls being girls. Even out into my yard, and as it begins to snow.
What makes a photographer good, or possibly great? It isn't the best body or glass, the snazziest pro classes, or youtube vids... it's take the camera out, learning to adjust for this and that, and snapping until your fingers are sore while pulling from the lot, keeping in mind the shots and how or why this or that proved to tell the story more surely, and how it was able to be captured, then making that repeatable. After that, there comes even more in-depth technicals, followed by improving storytelling, and back and forth until you die. If you are ever as good as you can get you might as well quit photography. It, like all other skills, is always a work in progress. Or you begin losing your skills. It's that simple.
Oh, great. First thing this morning? Not one but two bloody noses. I wasn't thinking when I went to gargle after brushing. You do realize proper gargling requires, at least for me, a closed mouth. And, you do realize, if you didn't think to gulp air before hand, that closing your mouth with your nose blocked with tp means no blowholes? Yep. I held out for 15 seconds, but I must have just exhaled before I started gargling. No air is no air, no matter how big your lungs air. *splat* :p
Later.
Friday, November 13, 2015
Much done.
.
.
It beat me up. I am both sore and getting tired. Everything had come to a stop, again, a bit ago. Today, and really to a degree yesterday, I set things back in motion. No, I didn't get what I had been hoping to get done. There is to much for a day, two days, even a week of heavy work. What I did is what I could, what had to be done, and what will help.
Showering was quite good, again. Being groomed and dressed, then out, was a gift of it's own. I made it to the post office where I had a number of items. I missed one item. I should have signed for it, but I wasn't in shape to realize I could do it. Yeah, really. I will have a few more items next week.
After that I headed to town. Groceries, mostly. Nothing fancy. But I wanted some easy food, but good food, and of course the staples I truly enjoy. Milk! I haven't had milk for... a while. I also found ribeyes on deep discounts, and some other beef. I haven't been able to afford beef for quite a while now. I can't buy, won't buy, steak for more than $7~$8. Heck, last time I checked chuck roasts were at that, and no, I won't buy any meat at that price. The beef industry is going to have to go through some growing pains. This isn't Japan. I found steak for $6 per, chuck roasts for $3.50, and hamburger for $3.50. I wasn't as happy with the hamburger, but that sure beat the $4.50~$5.50 it has been. I feel sorry for meat departments. I know they have taken a drubbing. Nothing they can do until production ramps up, and that will require things that aren't in their control to balance out. Drought first, then the exorbitant cost of feed from and added to the drought, then a sell off. Now to rebuild stocks, all with a government, local and federal often, who are anti-beef. Hell, ranchers are being treated like terrorists!
Anyway. Oh, but before all that, of course, I did take a shower. Then cleaned out the kitchen sinks, taking the dishes into the tub in tub operation. When there are too many, or it is more convenient, that just works. I don't know if I can get to them today, but... sooner than the last set it is hoped. And I did tear into boxes. More organizing them for an eventual run at them. I was also looking for my camera. So far I haven't been able to find the camera, and I am a bit worried. Where I was almost certain it would be... I'll look more soon. Worst case, I turn it in to my insurance company, along with some other things. I've been avoiding that, but... I hope I find it.
I purchased a new lens, my first telephoto, a 35-70 (x1.5 due to crop factor) f/2.8D. No, only available used. I've actually been spending time looking at new and/or old glass that works well with my system. Once every six months to a year I will buy a new lens, until I am happy... or die. I might also pick up, say, a d52/5300, as a... grab, run, shoot, without as much worry about damage. And it takes all the same glass. Or, if need be, it's always nice to have a backup. Much of the gear is crossover, even the memory chips... I think. Oh, since it was used, and a "value find", I did buy another lens. both lenses together were less than my 50mm prime, which is less expensive than most even kit lenses. Yeah, I did my research. I have a small list, though not all are that inexpensive. The most expensive glass on my list is about $800, the majority are in the $150~$300 range. I would say, currently, I have about four or five on my short list. These are budget (for what they offer), gems in hiding sort of... a three year procurement project. Those glass will allow me to explore every type of photography in at least a fairly general way. If I like, then I might go deeper on glass, or a set of that for various specifics beyond the general. Yeah... But that is the idea.
Ah, and, yes, I used some of the food I purchased. I have, for the first time in my life, over the last six months, noticed there is more to an oven than just roasting and baking. The broiler! I stopped at the deli. I tried various roast beef types, choosing home-style easily. Then added a few slices of various salamis and cheeses. Stopped at the bakery and bought rolls and hoagies. Yeah, but I have had so few carbs, or anything really lately, that I just didn't mind. I turned one batch of the various items into a sandwich, then broiled... almost too much. I'll need to practice with that. Mine, on high, is FAST. Still, it worked. Oh, and smoked gouda and creamy havarti with roast beef, genoa and hard salami, on a right sandwich roll? S-a-weet! And to think I thought about buying a sandwich in town. No, nothing wrong with that, at the right store. But I needed this, homemade, mostly, and hot and fresh. Just something about, sort of, cooking at home.
Well, time for me to begin pulling back and backing down. Sleep is needed, if I do have to chill just a bit longer. I hope to get the geese delivered tomorrow. I just had too much backing up, on top of the limit to my endeavors, to get out. We will see how caught up and able I become in the next day or three. It sucks to be a cripple from time to time. But that's just how it goes. Good night.
.
It beat me up. I am both sore and getting tired. Everything had come to a stop, again, a bit ago. Today, and really to a degree yesterday, I set things back in motion. No, I didn't get what I had been hoping to get done. There is to much for a day, two days, even a week of heavy work. What I did is what I could, what had to be done, and what will help.
Showering was quite good, again. Being groomed and dressed, then out, was a gift of it's own. I made it to the post office where I had a number of items. I missed one item. I should have signed for it, but I wasn't in shape to realize I could do it. Yeah, really. I will have a few more items next week.
After that I headed to town. Groceries, mostly. Nothing fancy. But I wanted some easy food, but good food, and of course the staples I truly enjoy. Milk! I haven't had milk for... a while. I also found ribeyes on deep discounts, and some other beef. I haven't been able to afford beef for quite a while now. I can't buy, won't buy, steak for more than $7~$8. Heck, last time I checked chuck roasts were at that, and no, I won't buy any meat at that price. The beef industry is going to have to go through some growing pains. This isn't Japan. I found steak for $6 per, chuck roasts for $3.50, and hamburger for $3.50. I wasn't as happy with the hamburger, but that sure beat the $4.50~$5.50 it has been. I feel sorry for meat departments. I know they have taken a drubbing. Nothing they can do until production ramps up, and that will require things that aren't in their control to balance out. Drought first, then the exorbitant cost of feed from and added to the drought, then a sell off. Now to rebuild stocks, all with a government, local and federal often, who are anti-beef. Hell, ranchers are being treated like terrorists!
Anyway. Oh, but before all that, of course, I did take a shower. Then cleaned out the kitchen sinks, taking the dishes into the tub in tub operation. When there are too many, or it is more convenient, that just works. I don't know if I can get to them today, but... sooner than the last set it is hoped. And I did tear into boxes. More organizing them for an eventual run at them. I was also looking for my camera. So far I haven't been able to find the camera, and I am a bit worried. Where I was almost certain it would be... I'll look more soon. Worst case, I turn it in to my insurance company, along with some other things. I've been avoiding that, but... I hope I find it.
I purchased a new lens, my first telephoto, a 35-70 (x1.5 due to crop factor) f/2.8D. No, only available used. I've actually been spending time looking at new and/or old glass that works well with my system. Once every six months to a year I will buy a new lens, until I am happy... or die. I might also pick up, say, a d52/5300, as a... grab, run, shoot, without as much worry about damage. And it takes all the same glass. Or, if need be, it's always nice to have a backup. Much of the gear is crossover, even the memory chips... I think. Oh, since it was used, and a "value find", I did buy another lens. both lenses together were less than my 50mm prime, which is less expensive than most even kit lenses. Yeah, I did my research. I have a small list, though not all are that inexpensive. The most expensive glass on my list is about $800, the majority are in the $150~$300 range. I would say, currently, I have about four or five on my short list. These are budget (for what they offer), gems in hiding sort of... a three year procurement project. Those glass will allow me to explore every type of photography in at least a fairly general way. If I like, then I might go deeper on glass, or a set of that for various specifics beyond the general. Yeah... But that is the idea.
Ah, and, yes, I used some of the food I purchased. I have, for the first time in my life, over the last six months, noticed there is more to an oven than just roasting and baking. The broiler! I stopped at the deli. I tried various roast beef types, choosing home-style easily. Then added a few slices of various salamis and cheeses. Stopped at the bakery and bought rolls and hoagies. Yeah, but I have had so few carbs, or anything really lately, that I just didn't mind. I turned one batch of the various items into a sandwich, then broiled... almost too much. I'll need to practice with that. Mine, on high, is FAST. Still, it worked. Oh, and smoked gouda and creamy havarti with roast beef, genoa and hard salami, on a right sandwich roll? S-a-weet! And to think I thought about buying a sandwich in town. No, nothing wrong with that, at the right store. But I needed this, homemade, mostly, and hot and fresh. Just something about, sort of, cooking at home.
Well, time for me to begin pulling back and backing down. Sleep is needed, if I do have to chill just a bit longer. I hope to get the geese delivered tomorrow. I just had too much backing up, on top of the limit to my endeavors, to get out. We will see how caught up and able I become in the next day or three. It sucks to be a cripple from time to time. But that's just how it goes. Good night.
A fine start.
.
.
So many things had backlogged. Not just travel and seeing my friend. The computer construction came to a dead stop, the geese (while still nicely frozen) are just... well... sitting there, and other things simply haven't been attended. It has been very off this summer through now, though it was getting better a few weeks back. Then another drop. Fall shifting toward winter, too much on my plate, too big of bites on my part, it all just added up to another dip. Even so, these dips are complete losses. Just... dips, not drops. I don't have to actually get up from these, merely figure out how to get going again. Big difference. Just as frustrating, though a lot less painful to recover.
In recovery, or while attempting it, the want of tobacco hits the hardest. Nicotine is the only known drug that can give a high or a low and that be based on the will of the user. Yes, boys and girls, it is a very unique drug. It is mild enough that it really shouldn't be as addictive as it is. It is that little part about choice that makes it so darned difficult to quit. Imagine if when drinking coffee you could use it, by choice, as easily to help wake you as to put you to sleep at night? In spite of that, there is no real temptation. Just a blind want that sneaks up on me once to three times a month. It usually leads to a bit more physical hunger. Until I realize what it is, it is nearly inconsolable. But, yeah, no. That should get easier through time.
After the shower and dry time, I did make it to town. Nothing fancy. I had thought to attempt shopping. I just didn't have that in me. A bite to eat, then back home, nothing more. As little as that was, it was fine. Just to be clean, groomed, and fed... life, a good life, can easily be that simple when you are sometimes forced to live without one or all of those things. I am hoping to make it to the post office, and then on to some shopping, in the morning proper. I forgot to take anacin, sort of. I was almost hoping the pain would cease on it's own. Not so much. So, after returning, and more to deal with it as an annoyance, I took a small handful of the things. It's not like I do that more than a few times a month, often ignoring pain and sometimes serious pain.
I dreamed last night. I was living in a world in which men and women no longer married, ever. But it was as if I didn't get the memo. Everyone laughed at my notions, sort of, behind my back. Though there was some sympathy, and even joy, that someone could be so simple or naive still. It wasn't totally cruel. As in real life, I purchased a home, and tried to get it arranged. As in real life, I had a heck of a time keeping it sorted. While buying a home, in real or dream life, wasn't so much about making an offering to a prospective woman to make her a wife as it was about beginning to live the life of the husband type. The home, itself, is a commitment. Being a married man is being a slave, to a degree. A servant, certainly. And not just in flesh or of coin, but of will and ways. It means surrendering the wanderlust, some curiosity in "out there", and other such things.
And darned if a good woman isn't worth the cost. If you can find one. Also, in the dream, as in life and sometimes on this blog, I have expressed just how much you may have to do, as a man, to keep her. Animal husbandry and people husbandry... it's not all pheromones and sweet-spots. As much as anything, it is making sure that all the right actors are in the right places when everything important is supposed to happen. It is making it so. It isn't always pretty, or nice. And yet, it really is, if only when done rightly, what makes the world go around. As failingly as that happens, it is as good as it gets, when done right. When done wrong hell on earth can be seen from it, is produced by it.
I am sure, in life and from the dream, that I know the right way. I won't say I'll hit that out of the park every time, only that I know what I am supposed to do. And, finally, I am quite willing to do my best at... nailing it. I am fully on board, if I am not perfect yet. Working on it though. Now to find a woman who wants to work on it as individuals, together, then as a family. Golden.
Well... a bit of reading and goofing, then maybe a bit of this and that in the real morning. But I won't be able to go anywhere, or do daytime things at a distance, for a while. I have decades. And with a good woman more and better. I can manage a woman and more, with a little help from my friends, and a house too. If she does her part. You know, with forty years in me? I might leave her ready for a rest at my passing. You know I want to go out with a smile. And I've never known a woman who hasn't wanted to love me just to death. Daydreaming, perhaps.
Later.
.
So many things had backlogged. Not just travel and seeing my friend. The computer construction came to a dead stop, the geese (while still nicely frozen) are just... well... sitting there, and other things simply haven't been attended. It has been very off this summer through now, though it was getting better a few weeks back. Then another drop. Fall shifting toward winter, too much on my plate, too big of bites on my part, it all just added up to another dip. Even so, these dips are complete losses. Just... dips, not drops. I don't have to actually get up from these, merely figure out how to get going again. Big difference. Just as frustrating, though a lot less painful to recover.
In recovery, or while attempting it, the want of tobacco hits the hardest. Nicotine is the only known drug that can give a high or a low and that be based on the will of the user. Yes, boys and girls, it is a very unique drug. It is mild enough that it really shouldn't be as addictive as it is. It is that little part about choice that makes it so darned difficult to quit. Imagine if when drinking coffee you could use it, by choice, as easily to help wake you as to put you to sleep at night? In spite of that, there is no real temptation. Just a blind want that sneaks up on me once to three times a month. It usually leads to a bit more physical hunger. Until I realize what it is, it is nearly inconsolable. But, yeah, no. That should get easier through time.
After the shower and dry time, I did make it to town. Nothing fancy. I had thought to attempt shopping. I just didn't have that in me. A bite to eat, then back home, nothing more. As little as that was, it was fine. Just to be clean, groomed, and fed... life, a good life, can easily be that simple when you are sometimes forced to live without one or all of those things. I am hoping to make it to the post office, and then on to some shopping, in the morning proper. I forgot to take anacin, sort of. I was almost hoping the pain would cease on it's own. Not so much. So, after returning, and more to deal with it as an annoyance, I took a small handful of the things. It's not like I do that more than a few times a month, often ignoring pain and sometimes serious pain.
I dreamed last night. I was living in a world in which men and women no longer married, ever. But it was as if I didn't get the memo. Everyone laughed at my notions, sort of, behind my back. Though there was some sympathy, and even joy, that someone could be so simple or naive still. It wasn't totally cruel. As in real life, I purchased a home, and tried to get it arranged. As in real life, I had a heck of a time keeping it sorted. While buying a home, in real or dream life, wasn't so much about making an offering to a prospective woman to make her a wife as it was about beginning to live the life of the husband type. The home, itself, is a commitment. Being a married man is being a slave, to a degree. A servant, certainly. And not just in flesh or of coin, but of will and ways. It means surrendering the wanderlust, some curiosity in "out there", and other such things.
And darned if a good woman isn't worth the cost. If you can find one. Also, in the dream, as in life and sometimes on this blog, I have expressed just how much you may have to do, as a man, to keep her. Animal husbandry and people husbandry... it's not all pheromones and sweet-spots. As much as anything, it is making sure that all the right actors are in the right places when everything important is supposed to happen. It is making it so. It isn't always pretty, or nice. And yet, it really is, if only when done rightly, what makes the world go around. As failingly as that happens, it is as good as it gets, when done right. When done wrong hell on earth can be seen from it, is produced by it.
I am sure, in life and from the dream, that I know the right way. I won't say I'll hit that out of the park every time, only that I know what I am supposed to do. And, finally, I am quite willing to do my best at... nailing it. I am fully on board, if I am not perfect yet. Working on it though. Now to find a woman who wants to work on it as individuals, together, then as a family. Golden.
Well... a bit of reading and goofing, then maybe a bit of this and that in the real morning. But I won't be able to go anywhere, or do daytime things at a distance, for a while. I have decades. And with a good woman more and better. I can manage a woman and more, with a little help from my friends, and a house too. If she does her part. You know, with forty years in me? I might leave her ready for a rest at my passing. You know I want to go out with a smile. And I've never known a woman who hasn't wanted to love me just to death. Daydreaming, perhaps.
Later.
Ouch!
.
.
No, I didn't get out. I have been pouring as much gas as I had onto the fire to try to push events. It turns out I only burned myself. I never did get my hours right. Any progress I made collapsed in the last few days. Medicine is still hit in miss, though more because there is some other problem than just an item issue. I've fallen and I can't get up, basically. Oh, I'll be fine. It just bothers me when I really want/need to do something and knowing that, at least on my own, I might not be able to do it, at least if it is really time sensitive.
I hope to make a call today. To find out condition. The other friend was supposed to call, then call me back. I have heard nothing.
Sleep of late has been that dry harsh stuff that just allows me to get through life. It isn't the rich settling calming good stuff. For a month or more I have just simply been getting just exactly the absolute minimum, no matter how long or short I sleep, and nothing more. Even so, this isn't an actual complaint. It so beats sleeping for days and not even really sleeping, or staying up for many days but not being awake, then going back and forth in that for months. Still, it's not as good as what I have generally known these last four or five years.
When I woke I decided to hit the shower right away. After I dry, I may shave. Just using the trimmer this morning, I don't feel like trying to mow down the forest with a herring! Then maybe a trip to town. I have been eating bits and smatterings of this and that. I wouldn't want my mom to know. Canned bread, pickled pork hocks, olives, and omelets once in a while, when I can stand to stand long enough. Those canned hog brains I ordered recently are even being viewed with a strange sort of fearful curiosity only deep hunger can produce. I might just run to town tonight, for something to eat, then go back in the morning for shopping and to check the mail. I think something is in. I missed one item, don't want to miss another.
Yes, it is rough. I am not the only one in trouble, if I think my friends are in far more serious trouble. All of us, this time, have heart issues. They are in their 70's though, which suggests that there is a way through, as I had suspected. I really need to call about my friend. I could drive, I just couldn't find the hospital, then his room, then find an hotel or lodging, and make subsequent trips back and forth to the hospital. My schedule is off, and even getting going has proven out of my reach. Frustrating. But it is what it is. humbling as that is.
Yeah, and I hurt this morning. Sinuses? Just a headache? General ache from exhaustion is there too. I'm not awake enough, quite yet, to get a grip on what the problem is. I might take some otc painkillers though. More that the pain is annoying while I am confused than that the pain is too much.
Later.
.
No, I didn't get out. I have been pouring as much gas as I had onto the fire to try to push events. It turns out I only burned myself. I never did get my hours right. Any progress I made collapsed in the last few days. Medicine is still hit in miss, though more because there is some other problem than just an item issue. I've fallen and I can't get up, basically. Oh, I'll be fine. It just bothers me when I really want/need to do something and knowing that, at least on my own, I might not be able to do it, at least if it is really time sensitive.
I hope to make a call today. To find out condition. The other friend was supposed to call, then call me back. I have heard nothing.
Sleep of late has been that dry harsh stuff that just allows me to get through life. It isn't the rich settling calming good stuff. For a month or more I have just simply been getting just exactly the absolute minimum, no matter how long or short I sleep, and nothing more. Even so, this isn't an actual complaint. It so beats sleeping for days and not even really sleeping, or staying up for many days but not being awake, then going back and forth in that for months. Still, it's not as good as what I have generally known these last four or five years.
When I woke I decided to hit the shower right away. After I dry, I may shave. Just using the trimmer this morning, I don't feel like trying to mow down the forest with a herring! Then maybe a trip to town. I have been eating bits and smatterings of this and that. I wouldn't want my mom to know. Canned bread, pickled pork hocks, olives, and omelets once in a while, when I can stand to stand long enough. Those canned hog brains I ordered recently are even being viewed with a strange sort of fearful curiosity only deep hunger can produce. I might just run to town tonight, for something to eat, then go back in the morning for shopping and to check the mail. I think something is in. I missed one item, don't want to miss another.
Yes, it is rough. I am not the only one in trouble, if I think my friends are in far more serious trouble. All of us, this time, have heart issues. They are in their 70's though, which suggests that there is a way through, as I had suspected. I really need to call about my friend. I could drive, I just couldn't find the hospital, then his room, then find an hotel or lodging, and make subsequent trips back and forth to the hospital. My schedule is off, and even getting going has proven out of my reach. Frustrating. But it is what it is. humbling as that is.
Yeah, and I hurt this morning. Sinuses? Just a headache? General ache from exhaustion is there too. I'm not awake enough, quite yet, to get a grip on what the problem is. I might take some otc painkillers though. More that the pain is annoying while I am confused than that the pain is too much.
Later.
Wednesday, November 11, 2015
Gah!
.
.
Sleep was too off to make it out today. And there are some other issues. I have to see about figuring some things out and getting out today. Medicine has been spotty. It's not that I mean it to be. But when things are off, choices aren't exactly available. What happens, happens. I did a load of laundry, a few things I wanted, for sure, for the trip. I need some food, so might head out for a bite. I will need to shower and shave, though I can shave later. It's sort of a messy time to try to be doing anything, but especially a random outing with no set plans, a need for an eye on the budget, medicine and sleep still off kilter, all while trying to figure out some other things on the side. Brutal and ugly.
I am feeling good, and it is all improving. I am running fairly well for purely survival issues. Just that adding anything extra is shorting something in the machine. I'll keep at it. Hopefully I can head out today. I am aiming from somewhere between 10:00 and noon. As well, I will probably only be able to afford to stay a couple of days. Reality and all that. I do need to go though. Yeah, it's a lot easier, in many ways, not to go. This isn't my sort of thing on top of all the rest. And, yet, I think I can do it, want to do it, and should do it. So... A shower, shortly, a bit of airdrying, then to town for a spot to eat, and shaving when I get back. Finally, a call in the morning to see about the other friend. He may have needed a bit more time off anyway, though, too. Sucks to be this ill.
Later.
.
Sleep was too off to make it out today. And there are some other issues. I have to see about figuring some things out and getting out today. Medicine has been spotty. It's not that I mean it to be. But when things are off, choices aren't exactly available. What happens, happens. I did a load of laundry, a few things I wanted, for sure, for the trip. I need some food, so might head out for a bite. I will need to shower and shave, though I can shave later. It's sort of a messy time to try to be doing anything, but especially a random outing with no set plans, a need for an eye on the budget, medicine and sleep still off kilter, all while trying to figure out some other things on the side. Brutal and ugly.
I am feeling good, and it is all improving. I am running fairly well for purely survival issues. Just that adding anything extra is shorting something in the machine. I'll keep at it. Hopefully I can head out today. I am aiming from somewhere between 10:00 and noon. As well, I will probably only be able to afford to stay a couple of days. Reality and all that. I do need to go though. Yeah, it's a lot easier, in many ways, not to go. This isn't my sort of thing on top of all the rest. And, yet, I think I can do it, want to do it, and should do it. So... A shower, shortly, a bit of airdrying, then to town for a spot to eat, and shaving when I get back. Finally, a call in the morning to see about the other friend. He may have needed a bit more time off anyway, though, too. Sucks to be this ill.
Later.
Tuesday, November 10, 2015
E-gaming.
.
.
I don't know how many of you folk play games. Consoles such as ps 4 or xbox, computer gaming, or the handheld units some of which are interactive with consoles now, sharing some games and usable as controllers, all offer various content with some overlap. Oh, and not all of it is hardcore gaming. They have created content for just about everybody. Yes, your momma too! No joke, if it is funny, at least to me. Of course, what they play isn't exactly what true gamers play. And, yes, there is a difference.
Some believe gaming is an addiction. And for some people more than others, it is. Though in truth, most gaming has some element of that. Some of that comes from having very old aspects to our brain and a very new living paradigm. Even fifty, but certainly an hundred, years ago, we were struggling to keep food on the table and a roof over our head. We really were. Today we have very little difficulty finding food. Even at midnight, living in a berg that would have been consider the boondocks just thirty years ago, and I can drive in and by fast food or go to a store and buy less processed/ready foods. It's a different life.
Without the push just to eat, stay moderately clothed, and find shelter, we look for something to fulfill that need and want for a driving factor. Most of us realize we really can't change, certainly not fix, the world. Socialists and communists believe that, which is why they are so driven for politics. If they ever realized the truth, and that even if they do change the world, given who and what they are and how they do things, that change would definitely be for the worse, we might have a better world (and more gamers). Many of us realize the only thing we might be able to improve is ourselves. And, if that happens to make the world better, it is more likely to be through example. Not quitting, not choosing the easy way, not taking what isn't ours, even if supposedly for someone in need. And, actually, gaming offers considerations regarding self-improvement that civil socialism and communism can't offer. Verified better scores, expanding a mind in order to explore ways to solve problems, both in game and life, that might not otherwise have been considered.
Of course, gaming can be taken too far. So, too, can television/movies/reading. As can even education. Have you ever met those types who have half a dozen masters and ph.ds but who have never worked? Further, much of the education is phony. They just learned how to get the answers for the quizzes and tests, without actually learning the material. There are those who stick so much to the real world, as well, that they know nothing else. They are known as workaholics. Everything can be taken to extremes, and most things will be, if they are satisfying and more available, or seemingly available, than other/better options.
For me, it is something I can do when all else fails. It keeps me from dropping into a cavern of nothingness. Medicine has been helping these last few years. But without something to do, something that isn't to physically demanding, yet gives that feel, I would be sleeping a great deal more than I am. Regardless what you may have heard, sleep is death. So, for me, often, games are a lifeline, for the mind. They even help the body, in some ways.
In any case, over the next week or three, I am hoping to discuss various topics related to gaming, at least for me. Subjects such as open world versus small and linear, means for producers to raise or lower difficulty and which of those I prefer, among other topics. To be honest, I don't think there are many who don't play. Even my mother games! And, yes, she takes her gaming seriously... if I chuckle at her choices. Then again, to a degree, that is exactly what I started with as well. Yes, gaming. I will be discussing much. Just... not until I return. Hmm... I may take a notepad and, for when I'm not at the hospital, so as to work on some of these notions.
I have been considering taking a book of short stories. I'm not sure if my friend would care to be read at though. I'll ask him when I arrive. I sort of wish I had some of the ebooks in physical form. I meant to do that, but got lost in life and illness. Some of those, even the end time ones, are pretty good and generally short enough, some of them, to be read in a fairly short session. Perhaps I could just read off my smartphone ereader. Reading to someone ill is a good practice, mind you. Can't talk a lot, and have little else to really do. Depends on if he can stay interested or at least enjoys the notion.
Later.
.
I don't know how many of you folk play games. Consoles such as ps 4 or xbox, computer gaming, or the handheld units some of which are interactive with consoles now, sharing some games and usable as controllers, all offer various content with some overlap. Oh, and not all of it is hardcore gaming. They have created content for just about everybody. Yes, your momma too! No joke, if it is funny, at least to me. Of course, what they play isn't exactly what true gamers play. And, yes, there is a difference.
Some believe gaming is an addiction. And for some people more than others, it is. Though in truth, most gaming has some element of that. Some of that comes from having very old aspects to our brain and a very new living paradigm. Even fifty, but certainly an hundred, years ago, we were struggling to keep food on the table and a roof over our head. We really were. Today we have very little difficulty finding food. Even at midnight, living in a berg that would have been consider the boondocks just thirty years ago, and I can drive in and by fast food or go to a store and buy less processed/ready foods. It's a different life.
Without the push just to eat, stay moderately clothed, and find shelter, we look for something to fulfill that need and want for a driving factor. Most of us realize we really can't change, certainly not fix, the world. Socialists and communists believe that, which is why they are so driven for politics. If they ever realized the truth, and that even if they do change the world, given who and what they are and how they do things, that change would definitely be for the worse, we might have a better world (and more gamers). Many of us realize the only thing we might be able to improve is ourselves. And, if that happens to make the world better, it is more likely to be through example. Not quitting, not choosing the easy way, not taking what isn't ours, even if supposedly for someone in need. And, actually, gaming offers considerations regarding self-improvement that civil socialism and communism can't offer. Verified better scores, expanding a mind in order to explore ways to solve problems, both in game and life, that might not otherwise have been considered.
Of course, gaming can be taken too far. So, too, can television/movies/reading. As can even education. Have you ever met those types who have half a dozen masters and ph.ds but who have never worked? Further, much of the education is phony. They just learned how to get the answers for the quizzes and tests, without actually learning the material. There are those who stick so much to the real world, as well, that they know nothing else. They are known as workaholics. Everything can be taken to extremes, and most things will be, if they are satisfying and more available, or seemingly available, than other/better options.
For me, it is something I can do when all else fails. It keeps me from dropping into a cavern of nothingness. Medicine has been helping these last few years. But without something to do, something that isn't to physically demanding, yet gives that feel, I would be sleeping a great deal more than I am. Regardless what you may have heard, sleep is death. So, for me, often, games are a lifeline, for the mind. They even help the body, in some ways.
In any case, over the next week or three, I am hoping to discuss various topics related to gaming, at least for me. Subjects such as open world versus small and linear, means for producers to raise or lower difficulty and which of those I prefer, among other topics. To be honest, I don't think there are many who don't play. Even my mother games! And, yes, she takes her gaming seriously... if I chuckle at her choices. Then again, to a degree, that is exactly what I started with as well. Yes, gaming. I will be discussing much. Just... not until I return. Hmm... I may take a notepad and, for when I'm not at the hospital, so as to work on some of these notions.
I have been considering taking a book of short stories. I'm not sure if my friend would care to be read at though. I'll ask him when I arrive. I sort of wish I had some of the ebooks in physical form. I meant to do that, but got lost in life and illness. Some of those, even the end time ones, are pretty good and generally short enough, some of them, to be read in a fairly short session. Perhaps I could just read off my smartphone ereader. Reading to someone ill is a good practice, mind you. Can't talk a lot, and have little else to really do. Depends on if he can stay interested or at least enjoys the notion.
Later.
Back on some sort of track.
.
.
I can't swear when I actually went to bed. I think someone called, maybe several people. Not sure I spoke with any save one call. I have no idea what was said. Or I dreamed all that. If I look at the phone records, I might be able to be sure, though I am not sure it is important. Not at this point. I am sure I stayed up until at least mid-afternoon, maybe a bit later though possibly earlier. Up at midnight yesterday, and perhaps a sixteen hour day. Good enough as I am working my way through things.
I best call and cancel dinner. Or did I? Either way, I need to make sure. Then I need to get some food down, omelets are pretty good. A little cheese added, perhaps sliced olives, sometimes plain. It's good enough. Maybe a run to town? And I need to get a shower in, maybe a bath later too. Plus a bit of packing. It doesn't take much. Taking the right stuff means you can take less. How much, or little, you pack, depends on a lot of things. Still, even for four days, a very small case should do. Oh, but the cats. I best figure that out.
I am not sure when travel will begin. I would guess that a 10:00 start might be pushing it. Though time will tell on that. Sometimes it just happens, when it happens. First, though, I need to finish waking. A fresh pot of coffee and something to eat after that, then a shower. Later.
.
I can't swear when I actually went to bed. I think someone called, maybe several people. Not sure I spoke with any save one call. I have no idea what was said. Or I dreamed all that. If I look at the phone records, I might be able to be sure, though I am not sure it is important. Not at this point. I am sure I stayed up until at least mid-afternoon, maybe a bit later though possibly earlier. Up at midnight yesterday, and perhaps a sixteen hour day. Good enough as I am working my way through things.
I best call and cancel dinner. Or did I? Either way, I need to make sure. Then I need to get some food down, omelets are pretty good. A little cheese added, perhaps sliced olives, sometimes plain. It's good enough. Maybe a run to town? And I need to get a shower in, maybe a bath later too. Plus a bit of packing. It doesn't take much. Taking the right stuff means you can take less. How much, or little, you pack, depends on a lot of things. Still, even for four days, a very small case should do. Oh, but the cats. I best figure that out.
I am not sure when travel will begin. I would guess that a 10:00 start might be pushing it. Though time will tell on that. Sometimes it just happens, when it happens. First, though, I need to finish waking. A fresh pot of coffee and something to eat after that, then a shower. Later.
Monday, November 9, 2015
As it turns out...
.
.
And it always turns out, if not always how you planned, hoped, worked... Yes, as it turns out...
While it was suggested that my other friend would not be going to the SLC area today, as his friend, who was supposed to be released today had been set to not be released until tomorrow... from another hospital... Well. It turns out that he will be being released, and at mid-day, likely at noon. Right. He called and... my phone has been forgotten in the other room. I didn't hear either call. I did get the messages. Our mutual friend, however, was called. But he was a bit out of it. When asked about me, he thought I was going to moving the hospital buildings around. And, while that may or may not be, I had not discussed this with him previously. :p
Now, after I realized I had been called, listened to the messages, and got a handle on the data, I called back. There is no way I could have gotten ready, by that point. And he had already, of course, being 10:30, taken off. I would have needed a shower and all. However, this is all actually pretty good. Being that the release was noon, there was little likelihood that we could have visited our mutual friend, and picked up his other friend. And a visit after picking up his friend would be unlikely. He, too, is in bad shape and needs to return home.
Which means there is some better chance of taking single vehicles, splitting some costs, and not needing to rush up and back. All assuming our mutual friend is able to have visitors. To know this, I will need to call the hospital and his sister, and find out what I can. I could call him, but he wouldn't be all that helpful. And probably wouldn't quite know who I am. He might not even when we visit, but that is something else. Yeah, well... Two guys with really bad hearts trying to manage visiting two ill friends. Time runs oddly, pushing isn't always possible, and it is tricky. Still... it's what we can and wish to do.
I think I'll make an omelet, have a spot of coffee, fresh if possible, let that settle, then make an attempt at figuring out contacts and trying to stay up to make it a full day. I am feeling better. But this is the latter part of the day, which is always a time to begin slowing down. Not bad though. And I think I can have things arranged before too long, and make those calls, eat some food, and maybe get another shower in. I just need something to make me work and I can then get to more than I thought, by far. Later.
.
And it always turns out, if not always how you planned, hoped, worked... Yes, as it turns out...
While it was suggested that my other friend would not be going to the SLC area today, as his friend, who was supposed to be released today had been set to not be released until tomorrow... from another hospital... Well. It turns out that he will be being released, and at mid-day, likely at noon. Right. He called and... my phone has been forgotten in the other room. I didn't hear either call. I did get the messages. Our mutual friend, however, was called. But he was a bit out of it. When asked about me, he thought I was going to moving the hospital buildings around. And, while that may or may not be, I had not discussed this with him previously. :p
Now, after I realized I had been called, listened to the messages, and got a handle on the data, I called back. There is no way I could have gotten ready, by that point. And he had already, of course, being 10:30, taken off. I would have needed a shower and all. However, this is all actually pretty good. Being that the release was noon, there was little likelihood that we could have visited our mutual friend, and picked up his other friend. And a visit after picking up his friend would be unlikely. He, too, is in bad shape and needs to return home.
Which means there is some better chance of taking single vehicles, splitting some costs, and not needing to rush up and back. All assuming our mutual friend is able to have visitors. To know this, I will need to call the hospital and his sister, and find out what I can. I could call him, but he wouldn't be all that helpful. And probably wouldn't quite know who I am. He might not even when we visit, but that is something else. Yeah, well... Two guys with really bad hearts trying to manage visiting two ill friends. Time runs oddly, pushing isn't always possible, and it is tricky. Still... it's what we can and wish to do.
I think I'll make an omelet, have a spot of coffee, fresh if possible, let that settle, then make an attempt at figuring out contacts and trying to stay up to make it a full day. I am feeling better. But this is the latter part of the day, which is always a time to begin slowing down. Not bad though. And I think I can have things arranged before too long, and make those calls, eat some food, and maybe get another shower in. I just need something to make me work and I can then get to more than I thought, by far. Later.
As things find their place.
.
.
I can't be sure if these things are mood music, or salves for healing, or expressions of pains recently felt or soon perhaps to be known. I only know they seem to work. Enjoy, or... something... as you may.
.
I can't be sure if these things are mood music, or salves for healing, or expressions of pains recently felt or soon perhaps to be known. I only know they seem to work. Enjoy, or... something... as you may.
It sometimes amazes me.
.
.
How can I go from being in horrible shape, being confused and distraught, to hitting a stride that is as good as it gets. A few days back on meds, mostly, and I am like a new man. Yeah, medicines can help, especially as I have arranged them. Doctors can't be left to their own devices, but if they offer certain medicines, and you use due diligence, figuring what works with what they offer and your body, plus obtains the numbers they are looking for, you... well... you won't walk out of this alive, but you might just live a little longer and more meaningfully. But you have to do your part. Given, if you are ill enough, sometimes, all on your own, you won't always be able to do your part. A helping hang really would be good. No less than if you are well. A helping hand is something we all need from time to time.
I have been messing with my foot as well. No matter how good I was beginning to feel, if I couldn't put my foot in socks and a boot or shoe, it simply wouldn't matter. And, until yesterday, that wasn't possible. After another shower, and letting that soak, then spending a good deal of time figuring out what hurt, and why, I did a bit of doctoring. I found that the major problem was a cuticle spike. I was able to gently trim that so as to be able to bandage it. After that worked for a while, I added a sock. All good. It looks like I should be able to travel, as a driver or passenger. Next is to figure out when, where, and how. I might even try to locate lodging and stay a few days. You don't know what it's like to be that close to death and all alone. I do. His sister may be there, but it's nice to see other faces, especially if this is going to be his time. I don't like that, but... I think I can handle that now. He won't just become a ghost without a name and face now, either. If that's how it goes. It's the nameless and faceless ones that... are the problem.
I have also been trying to push my days and nights into correct order. Waking at midnight doesn't sound great, but it should give me an easy to noon, and a little more drawn out until 18:00~20:00. That should be enough for a trip, finding lodging, and crashing... then daily visits for a bit. So much work for such a simple seeming thing. It feels like I am running through mud, sand, and water. But it is coming together. And it isn't killing me, it's bringing me back from my own edge.
Anyway, that is how things are going. I might head out to grab a meal, then tinker on the machine to keep life going. I called the other friend, who may be traveling with me, or vice versa, or we may go down as a minor convoy. No answer. Then again, I wasn't sure there would be. Late as it is. I'll try at 6:00, then 8:00, and if need be 10:00... the latter would be pushing a trip tomorrow. So after 8:00 I may try to call my ill friend's sister for more information. Yeah... I know. Not sure, yesterday, I could have even planned this out. So, it's good enough to go, if I can find an exact address, visitation times and permission, and perhaps an inexpensive local room to let. I'd do it for any of my folk, if I knew. Later.
.
How can I go from being in horrible shape, being confused and distraught, to hitting a stride that is as good as it gets. A few days back on meds, mostly, and I am like a new man. Yeah, medicines can help, especially as I have arranged them. Doctors can't be left to their own devices, but if they offer certain medicines, and you use due diligence, figuring what works with what they offer and your body, plus obtains the numbers they are looking for, you... well... you won't walk out of this alive, but you might just live a little longer and more meaningfully. But you have to do your part. Given, if you are ill enough, sometimes, all on your own, you won't always be able to do your part. A helping hang really would be good. No less than if you are well. A helping hand is something we all need from time to time.
I have been messing with my foot as well. No matter how good I was beginning to feel, if I couldn't put my foot in socks and a boot or shoe, it simply wouldn't matter. And, until yesterday, that wasn't possible. After another shower, and letting that soak, then spending a good deal of time figuring out what hurt, and why, I did a bit of doctoring. I found that the major problem was a cuticle spike. I was able to gently trim that so as to be able to bandage it. After that worked for a while, I added a sock. All good. It looks like I should be able to travel, as a driver or passenger. Next is to figure out when, where, and how. I might even try to locate lodging and stay a few days. You don't know what it's like to be that close to death and all alone. I do. His sister may be there, but it's nice to see other faces, especially if this is going to be his time. I don't like that, but... I think I can handle that now. He won't just become a ghost without a name and face now, either. If that's how it goes. It's the nameless and faceless ones that... are the problem.
I have also been trying to push my days and nights into correct order. Waking at midnight doesn't sound great, but it should give me an easy to noon, and a little more drawn out until 18:00~20:00. That should be enough for a trip, finding lodging, and crashing... then daily visits for a bit. So much work for such a simple seeming thing. It feels like I am running through mud, sand, and water. But it is coming together. And it isn't killing me, it's bringing me back from my own edge.
Anyway, that is how things are going. I might head out to grab a meal, then tinker on the machine to keep life going. I called the other friend, who may be traveling with me, or vice versa, or we may go down as a minor convoy. No answer. Then again, I wasn't sure there would be. Late as it is. I'll try at 6:00, then 8:00, and if need be 10:00... the latter would be pushing a trip tomorrow. So after 8:00 I may try to call my ill friend's sister for more information. Yeah... I know. Not sure, yesterday, I could have even planned this out. So, it's good enough to go, if I can find an exact address, visitation times and permission, and perhaps an inexpensive local room to let. I'd do it for any of my folk, if I knew. Later.
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