Ouch!

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No, I didn't get out.  I have been pouring as much gas as I had onto the fire to try to push events.  It turns out I only burned myself.  I never did get my hours right.  Any progress I made collapsed in the last few days.  Medicine is still hit in miss, though more because there is some other problem than just an item issue.  I've fallen and I can't get up, basically.  Oh, I'll be fine.  It just bothers me when I really want/need to do something and knowing that, at least on my own, I might not be able to do it, at least if it is really time sensitive.

I hope to make a call today.  To find out condition.  The other friend was supposed to call, then call me back.  I have heard nothing.

Sleep of late has been that dry harsh stuff that just allows me to get through life.  It isn't the rich settling calming good stuff.  For a month or more I have just simply been getting just exactly the absolute minimum, no matter how long or short I sleep, and nothing more.  Even so, this isn't an actual complaint.  It so beats sleeping for days and not even really sleeping, or staying up for many days but not being awake, then going back and forth in that for months.  Still, it's not as good as what I have generally known these last four or five years.

When I woke I decided to hit the shower right away.  After I dry, I may shave.  Just using the trimmer this morning, I don't feel like trying to mow down the forest with a herring!  Then maybe a trip to town.  I have been eating bits and smatterings of this and that.  I wouldn't want my mom to know.  Canned bread, pickled pork hocks, olives, and omelets once in a while, when I can stand to stand long enough.  Those canned hog brains I ordered recently are even being viewed with a strange sort of fearful curiosity only deep hunger can produce.  I might just run to town tonight, for something to eat, then go back in the morning for shopping and to check the mail.  I think something is in.  I missed one item, don't want to miss another.

Yes, it is rough.  I am not the only one in trouble, if I think my friends are in far more serious trouble.  All of us, this time, have heart issues.  They are in their 70's though, which suggests that there is a way through, as I had suspected.  I really need to call about my friend.  I could drive, I just couldn't find the hospital, then his room, then find an hotel or lodging, and make subsequent trips back and forth to the hospital.  My schedule is off, and even getting going has proven out of my reach.  Frustrating.  But it is what it is. humbling as that is.

Yeah, and I hurt this morning.  Sinuses?  Just a headache?  General ache from exhaustion is there too.  I'm not awake enough, quite yet, to get a grip on what the problem is.  I might take some otc painkillers though.  More that the pain is annoying while I am confused than that the pain is too much.

Later.