So they say.

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The dark and the light.

A response, or... some added thoughts?

One stone hurt the most.

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Some things hurt more than others.  I thought I wanted the least of the pain, maybe not for the full cost?  Death seemed easier than... being called?

Not thrown, spoken.  The dream confounds.

Life is better.

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The phone works, the vehicle can be driven, and I have food.  Very good.

I'm even warm.  A shower a day for the last three days, then washing clothes and having clean warm clothes to wear, and wearing them... layered and rightly, plus donning them before I became frigid, all lead to warmth.  The furnace is at 66 and I am warm as I would wish, without a watchcap.

Good.

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Looks like things are going to move forward.  I can't remember when I woke up, though I am thinking 21:30, roughly, if well.

My feet felt slightly afire, and cold, but were neither.  Not sure what the problem is.  They are room temperature or warmer.  Just... one of those things.

Knock-Knock

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Who is there?

Oh... it's you.

Well?

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I am not sure, but I think I started the last load of laundry.  No dishes started.  Falling down, falling apart, crashing.  I think I am done.  I have been done for an hour or two, just... gliding through, hoping to figure... something else out.  But no.  And I won't be staying up until midafternoon again.  I'll make it just through this post, and then up the steps on to bed.

That shower was wonderful.  Getting laundry going was good.  Would have liked to have gotten dishes loaded, and gotten trash and recycling together and out, but that just wasn't possible.  I hurt.  At least I am warmer.  I've been dressing, and warmly, and right after getting just dry enough after showering.  Still a bit cool, but not frigid, mostly.

Out of food?

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Maybe.  It more depends on if some of the old storage butter is still good, or not.  The last can I opened was a bit rancid, too rancid.  But that can had been kept up here over the summer, at least.  It gets rather warm up here.  Though, even if I find a bit of good butter, that leaves me with veggies and maybe some canned bread.

Shouldn't eat it, but trying to use up my larder.  The bread that is.  Though, to be honest, it doesn't bump my blood sugar too much, unless I eat it daily for a week.  Ask me how I know.  Without butter, I just don't like veggies.  And, while I do have canned meats, they don't go well with this brown bread.  I suppose, eating the bread with a lot of butter, is what keeps the blood sugar spike flatter.

Almost to midnight.

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I made it into the afternoon... 14:00, 14:30?  Not 15:00, beyond 13:30 certainly.  If, as mentioned, I was technically already asleep.  Still, only eight hoursish down.  Annoying, but at least the downtime is shifting, if I can't sleep more.  I'd really like ten to twelve hours of sleep a few days in a row.  That would be nice.  I feel the need, just don't have the means.

A vid keeps popping.  She knows, some things.  We... have had moments, where we feared and were disgusted with each other.  We have considered hating each other.  But, while we have... reasons for some of those ideas, they aren't truths.  Moments, gaining understandings... about ourselves, and each other.  Cow*!  Pig!  Accidents happen?

More things.

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Laundry switched over, given a spin.  Fresh put in.  More to do, soon.  A shower taken, as well.  And dressed, more warmly, if still cold.  I'll try to get more done yet today.  Would like to finish washing blankets in the next few days.

I took a peak outdoors.  It is ten F, so, yes, okay, cold.  It settles in, and around.  Even with the furnace up, it just doesn't warm.

Bullet of God.

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Quite a dream.  Dream?

I saw a bullet.  Some larger three hundred caliber.  Probably .308, as those are favored.  But... it could be one of the sister calibers.  Two marks on it.  Letters.  Not English, or German, or Italian... Greek?  I... was the bullet.

Nearing noon.

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Totally baked, smashed, crashing.  Still, will push as far as I can.

Reminds me of when I used to drink.  To be honest, because of this?  I honestly don't think alcohol was the problem.  Some days, no matter, I feel awful.  Though... I drank to find relief, and sometimes that followed through from the time of drinking to several days or weeks later.  Sometimes not so much.

If you dive?

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Dive deep.  Tea.  I have been drinking tea for years.  Slowly, over time, I have compared and contrasted this and that tea.  I have learned bits, and portions, and notions, and such, but only in parts.  Never a full course on the topic.  Why not?  Because it was... annoying.  I just... wanted tea.  I didn't what to have to think about it.

Finally, though, as I realize better teas are actually worth a bit more money?  But not all?  And then, at some point, tastes, preferences, come into play?  Well... rather than buy $40 of even a few ounces of good tea, but of a sort I didn't like?  I... wanted to look at grade, type, more information to allow me a better chance at choosing a tea I like, at various price points.

Up at twenty hundred.

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I tried to push through.  Couldn't.  Down at noon, if I remember correctly.  Achy, sore, but not terribly bad.  And, will probably get better quickly.  Have the last few days.  Forgot medicine yesterday, back on it today.  Doing what I can.

A few blankets in the wash, first thing.  When they are finished, I'll get a shower.  Or that is the plan.  After the shower, the goal is to empty a bunch of jars, and get them washing in the machine.  As well, possibly, another blanket or two, and some clothes, in and through the wash tonight.  Just enough clothes to get to town and feel like I am not stinky, my clothes are clean and smell fresh.  Just enough for that.  Several layers.  Some tshirts, a few business style shirts or at least dress-casuals.  And a pair of pants or two.  Hmm, and some socks.  Synthetics, as they can be washed with standards.  Then again, my "slacks" are synthetic cargo pocket tradesman type pants.  So... it works.

Stumbling through.

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I have the urge to throw up, go to the bathroom, and go to bed.  None of the urges are strong enough to engage into action.  But, with a mild if solid headache, sleep looks like the direction I will go.  An attempt to hide from the headache, barring taking painpills.  I have to Wednesday, and doubt I would take those even then, at this level of pain.

Bah!  Just not right.

I can stand!

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For days I haven't been able to more than scoot, or limp, along.  Not able to put all my weight even on my heel.  I had to twist my foot, use the edge of it on that foot.  I couldn't even put my full weight just on that heel.  Now I can.  More I can put my full weight on my foot, flat.

I can't walk, with the full weight.  I can stand.  Very nice.  I can mostly walk, mostly regularly.  And, for a short distance, I might be able to take the pain so as to look like I wasn't a gimp.  One should know how dangerous it is out there, for those who are perceived as weak.  I know this.

To understand.

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A dream.  Oh, I... know.  At once, I thought He did as He did to spare life.

It wasn't true.  He was sparing souls.  Many.  The life was just an extra.  Maybe even the point of salvation.  But it... wasn't the goal, just the means?

Good, bad, and confused.

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Better, this morning, or... my night... evening, afternoon?  I think it would be evening, and late evening if I did regular days.  Too late.  Past bedtime really.  So I am thinking that way.

Better, but not all better.  The foot is... completely healed again.  Well, okay, not completely healed.  I am still lightly limping.  But just a bit ago, I was walking on the edge of my foot because I could not put any weight on the flat.  I couldn't even stand.  The swelling, and pain, were too much.  The pain was present even when my foot was lifted so no weight or angular events were occurring.  It just hurt.

Never sure.

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Mockery, encouragement, simping, or... some such?  Had to laugh.  And... not?  I enjoy the show as much as others.  Not always for the same reason.

Hmm?  Oh, video pops that made me do some addition, subtraction, and cross my eyes just a wee.