.
.
Though I may not have succeeded grandly in my attempts, at anything, I have made it through one more week of school and life. I have had some success and I am moving forward, if at a snail’s pace, on several projects. School has improved, in that I feel I am getting the material and well (though, when did I think that before… ah, right before the big fat C). Even so, I really am getting the material. I have spent time with my professor regarding the parts I do not catch. I always feel like he is surprised to see me arrive. I am not sure if he is surprised that I need the help, as I really do seem to understand some of it, or if he knows there is no help for me. He keeps his mind closed but he cannot rid himself of some strong sense of a nature. A nature, like curiosity, wonder, even possible fear (is this guy in my office hours trying to trick the tests out of me), but seemingly more on the curiosity side. Perhaps he is wondering why I am trying so hard, why I am curious, what it means, or something. Mind you, those are just notes. I only write what I perceive, not necessarily what is. As well, I do not dwell on the things, just note them. I have seen several houses, pictures and descriptions only so far. I have picked several which I would like to see in person, 5 so far. I sent the information back, and let the realtor know my schedule and my interest. That was last Wednesday. I have not heard a word in reply, nor received an email. I will check on that Monday.
I really considered sipping from my larder of liquid delights. The sleep schedule has been working, my tasks are getting done, laundry and dishes have been mostly being kept in check (though I really need to do dishes from the last two days!). Some success is almost worth the down time. However, I decided not to do so. Not yet anyway. I need to get caught up in physics, study calculus to get back in the swing of that, and work the calculus study into the probability and statistics studies. If I get a good deal completed tonight, tomorrow night, if I get even more done, I may go see a movie then have a sip (or just have a sip depending on how tired I am). I have a reasonable opportunity to do this and yet I have that old lazy bone weighing in on the matter. As well, there is only so much one can study before the game is up. The mind can only stay tightly focused for a short time at a time, much like looking through a powerful scope or binoculars then the eyes get tired.
I have had some time to read blogs and post comments. As I have said, there are times I really need to step away from studies, so long as I do not merely hide from studies and I am getting my studies completed, that is fine. To be honest, blogging has become grim. Both here and elsewhere. Conservatives are understanding that we have been betrayed by the party leadership. What the other party is setting up to do, doing, and what they have done, is downright traitorous. Those of us who understand this, I am certainly not alone, understand we have no allies in politics. Some, like me, are backing away from politics nearly completely. Others seem to wish to hold to some hope that McCain is not what he says he is. And that rallying point that is Palin has, finally, been understood to be just as bad as McCain. Honestly, I am not sure there is hope for the American Dream or the democratic republic. I think it was nearly ended by FDR but the coupe de gras was JFK’s immigration policy. Yeah, it may have been ended before I was born. Of course, I could be wrong. What was it the crooked Louisiana politician said… ah… ‘Do not rig the election, there is no need if I pick the candidates’, give or take of course. So, vote as you will, you really have no choice.
Friday, October 10, 2008
Thursday, October 9, 2008
It is working.
.
.
Though things are still very tight, I have found that, sleeping in catnap style and doing what I can when I can, that I can accomplish much of what I am trying to do. I have not been able to get back to exercising. I was not sure I would be able to in any case, certainly not immediately if that was a hope. I have done a good deal of work on the more demanding course. I have visited my professors several times, and will probably continue to do that. I was able to schedule a visit other than office hours and was also able to make a visit during his regular office hours. I have also been to a study lab offered, but that is only somewhat helpful. Physics has been suffering, I am only hoping it will not be too difficult to get caught up on that again. I will do some of that tomorrow and this weekend.
I also made contact with the realtor whose name I was given while applying for a loan pre-approval. It seems he does not handle cases in my area, so he asked if he could put me in touch with a woman who does. With school and study, tomorrow was the first day I was sure I would be available for a call. I am hoping she will be calling me tomorrow. I have no idea what to expect, but the recent ½ point rate drop cannot hurt my prospects. What I must worry about, as I said, is buying into a house during a price plunge and ending up with half the house I paid for, worth-wise. It IS speculation. As I said, though, I am not doing it as an investment, more as a luxury of sorts. Home-ownership means no landlord, actual control of one’s home, the ability to customize my housing without losing the cost, and having no neighbors right on top of me. You can be sure, if I have to get a hole digger and buy the lumber bit by bit, I will have a 5-7 foot fence, a solid one. I might even get a dog, though for sure I will get a cat. It will be too late to do much about a garden, or flower plots along the house (I think my mom or my ex-gal might actually enjoy doing the flowers thing, and yeah, I think such projects add to a house… a lot).
I must admit something about school. I am more sure, from snooping around, paying attention, and looking things over regarding scores and such, the scores are rigged. People who do well are allowed to do well. The tests are written so that, without foreknowledge or honest natural brilliance, I cannot score well. It is not every class, but it is fairly common in engineering. In the other schools, this does not occur until graduate level work. In engineering, it starts from the start and does not end until, assuming success, retirement. It IS who you know, How much you have, and such. Your skills, if you are in the school, are probably good enough. With a little work, you should be competitive. But the truth is you cannot compete as the thing is weighted toward the favored. Oh well. I had thought about quitting, if a C is the best I can do. I am thinking that over. We will see. Of course, without a functional medicinal regimen, taking more than half time (a requirement for next term and on) may make this matter immaterial.
Oh, a letter to a racist company I used to use as a clothing supplier… And their response… More companies are going to get a similar email. I will no longer support quotas. With a black candidate for president, they have absolutely no rating for underprivileged. As well, their over-representation has become a grotesquery. It is offensive to have them shoved in my face in every aspect of my life. The freedom of association, by it’s very nature, implies the freedom to disassociate. I will do that until and unless I choose differently. It is time to start voting with my wallet, hard and heavy.
Dear Mr. Doom:
Thank you for taking the time to write and share your concerns. We appreciate your honest feedback.
I’m sorry that we disappointed you with the amount of diversity in our catalogs. I do understand and appreciate your concerns. I will be sure to share your comments with our creative team and I’m sure they will keep your disappointment in mind when deciding which models to use for future catalogs.
I am also very sorry to hear that we have lost your trust and per your request, will be taking your name off our mailing list. Because our catalogs are pre-printed you may receive another catalog if it is already in our outgoing mail. However, we have honored your request and mailings will cease.
Please accept our sincere apologies. We appreciate you bringing your concerns to our attention. It is our hope that someday we will once again have an opportunity to serve you.
Sincerely,
Jenafer Humphries
Customer Communications
> -----Original Message-----
> From:
> Sent: Oct 3, 2008 12:28:20 AM CDT
> To:
>
> Dear Sirs,
>
>
>
> I have enjoyed your goods in the past. The quality is very good, and
> if I felt it was not, I was able to make simple returns. I have,
> however, decided to make no further purchases through Land’s End. I
> believe your models are not representative of your clientele. If you
> are interested in being politically correct, then, I suggest you add
> Indians, Mexicans, Chinese, Japanese, midgets, transsexuals, Hindus,
> ugly people, fat people, and other types of minorities. When you pick
> one group of people to over-represent in your catalogs and in your
> online site, you do everybody a disservice. Should you decide to
> change your business practices, I might re-consider purchases of
> Lands End’s goods. Until then, good luck. May you get the business
> you deserve. I would be very happy if you end the sending of your
> catalogue to my house.
>
>
>
> Sincerely,
>
> Doom
.
Though things are still very tight, I have found that, sleeping in catnap style and doing what I can when I can, that I can accomplish much of what I am trying to do. I have not been able to get back to exercising. I was not sure I would be able to in any case, certainly not immediately if that was a hope. I have done a good deal of work on the more demanding course. I have visited my professors several times, and will probably continue to do that. I was able to schedule a visit other than office hours and was also able to make a visit during his regular office hours. I have also been to a study lab offered, but that is only somewhat helpful. Physics has been suffering, I am only hoping it will not be too difficult to get caught up on that again. I will do some of that tomorrow and this weekend.
I also made contact with the realtor whose name I was given while applying for a loan pre-approval. It seems he does not handle cases in my area, so he asked if he could put me in touch with a woman who does. With school and study, tomorrow was the first day I was sure I would be available for a call. I am hoping she will be calling me tomorrow. I have no idea what to expect, but the recent ½ point rate drop cannot hurt my prospects. What I must worry about, as I said, is buying into a house during a price plunge and ending up with half the house I paid for, worth-wise. It IS speculation. As I said, though, I am not doing it as an investment, more as a luxury of sorts. Home-ownership means no landlord, actual control of one’s home, the ability to customize my housing without losing the cost, and having no neighbors right on top of me. You can be sure, if I have to get a hole digger and buy the lumber bit by bit, I will have a 5-7 foot fence, a solid one. I might even get a dog, though for sure I will get a cat. It will be too late to do much about a garden, or flower plots along the house (I think my mom or my ex-gal might actually enjoy doing the flowers thing, and yeah, I think such projects add to a house… a lot).
I must admit something about school. I am more sure, from snooping around, paying attention, and looking things over regarding scores and such, the scores are rigged. People who do well are allowed to do well. The tests are written so that, without foreknowledge or honest natural brilliance, I cannot score well. It is not every class, but it is fairly common in engineering. In the other schools, this does not occur until graduate level work. In engineering, it starts from the start and does not end until, assuming success, retirement. It IS who you know, How much you have, and such. Your skills, if you are in the school, are probably good enough. With a little work, you should be competitive. But the truth is you cannot compete as the thing is weighted toward the favored. Oh well. I had thought about quitting, if a C is the best I can do. I am thinking that over. We will see. Of course, without a functional medicinal regimen, taking more than half time (a requirement for next term and on) may make this matter immaterial.
Oh, a letter to a racist company I used to use as a clothing supplier… And their response… More companies are going to get a similar email. I will no longer support quotas. With a black candidate for president, they have absolutely no rating for underprivileged. As well, their over-representation has become a grotesquery. It is offensive to have them shoved in my face in every aspect of my life. The freedom of association, by it’s very nature, implies the freedom to disassociate. I will do that until and unless I choose differently. It is time to start voting with my wallet, hard and heavy.
Dear Mr. Doom:
Thank you for taking the time to write and share your concerns. We appreciate your honest feedback.
I’m sorry that we disappointed you with the amount of diversity in our catalogs. I do understand and appreciate your concerns. I will be sure to share your comments with our creative team and I’m sure they will keep your disappointment in mind when deciding which models to use for future catalogs.
I am also very sorry to hear that we have lost your trust and per your request, will be taking your name off our mailing list. Because our catalogs are pre-printed you may receive another catalog if it is already in our outgoing mail. However, we have honored your request and mailings will cease.
Please accept our sincere apologies. We appreciate you bringing your concerns to our attention. It is our hope that someday we will once again have an opportunity to serve you.
Sincerely,
Jenafer Humphries
Customer Communications
> -----Original Message-----
> From:
> Sent: Oct 3, 2008 12:28:20 AM CDT
> To:
>
> Dear Sirs,
>
>
>
> I have enjoyed your goods in the past. The quality is very good, and
> if I felt it was not, I was able to make simple returns. I have,
> however, decided to make no further purchases through Land’s End. I
> believe your models are not representative of your clientele. If you
> are interested in being politically correct, then, I suggest you add
> Indians, Mexicans, Chinese, Japanese, midgets, transsexuals, Hindus,
> ugly people, fat people, and other types of minorities. When you pick
> one group of people to over-represent in your catalogs and in your
> online site, you do everybody a disservice. Should you decide to
> change your business practices, I might re-consider purchases of
> Lands End’s goods. Until then, good luck. May you get the business
> you deserve. I would be very happy if you end the sending of your
> catalogue to my house.
>
>
>
> Sincerely,
>
> Doom
Monday, October 6, 2008
I am getting some things going.
.
.
It has been difficult. With medicine no longer being taken, I struggle greatly to do the smallest of things. I know it might seem silly, but I am crippled. With both arms and legs, a relatively healthy body, and the will to do both academic and physical activities, without help I simply cannot do these things well. It is very frustrating to have gotten help only to see it taken away. The only reason I am even able to function is that working out this summer has given me a bit of physical fitness. The last month has been very tough. This last weekend, however, I pushed a bit and did some laundry, soaked then cooked raw beans (black, if you are curious, and one of my favorite), cooked some rice, cleaned the dishes from those, and then cooked some meats for dinners through the week (plus some nice snacks during the process). I also studied my tougher class, if physics study is lagging.
More, I am hoping to get up early enough tomorrow to try and speak with my professor about seeing him a time or two a week. His office hours are a bit problematic. I am going to see if we cannot make other arrangements. I know I am bright enough to do well in this class, but I feel that either some significant portion of the class is far brighter or they are getting more information about what to study. I will have to be careful in how I approach the matter. Still, a broken bell curve is indicative of problems. In any case, I will continue to work hard, but I will not put in extraordinary effort knowing that it is not a reasonable practice given the amount of material we could be tested over is far too great to reasonably cover to be ready to test and quiz on to the level I have seen thus far. I cannot prove every theorem cross-referenced to various formulas without some clues. I have an IQ of between 120 and 148 (depending on how well I am doing). This should not be this difficult, especially since I have been putting in more than a sincere effort.
As well, I am hoping to push through with my plans of seeking a home. I am very nervous about trying to buy a house at this time. Even if I can find a bargain, it would be tough to end up with much more house loan than a houses worth in a few years. I would like to get out of here, however. It is becoming more like the hood every day. And, I would like to get in on a bargain with current low interest rates and reduced pricing. I suppose this is speculation. But the truth is, without risk there is no gain. Though I am not trying to get into a home to create wealth as a primary goal, it is a part of the thing. This project does add a good deal of work to my current load, while I am often weak and tired. But moving ahead in spite of things has, at times, proven to be the best policy in that it leads me to greater capacity. I do know, definitely, that backing off or taking time off ends up hurting me far more than it helps, other than for very short times (a weekend here or there).
As bad is things are, life is still good. I have some doubts about college, certainly if I honestly cannot do this class well. As I have said though, if it turns out that I cannot make it, I have some other plans. As weak as those are, as unsure about how those plans will really work, I am pretty sure I will find life after an attempted professional career if it all turns south. Of course, that does make purchasing a house here a dubious proposition. I guess I am walking ahead on faith alone. I have to plan as well as I can, then go forward with honest concern but with faith too. I have to hope I will do what is wise given what I know and that God has my interests in mind, even if I do not always understand that process. This is life, it is a dubious process all by itself. Add in economy, politics, religion, love, and such, and the dubious becomes impossible. As I said, that is when faith becomes useful, both faith in the world in a minor way and in God’s will in a big way.
.
It has been difficult. With medicine no longer being taken, I struggle greatly to do the smallest of things. I know it might seem silly, but I am crippled. With both arms and legs, a relatively healthy body, and the will to do both academic and physical activities, without help I simply cannot do these things well. It is very frustrating to have gotten help only to see it taken away. The only reason I am even able to function is that working out this summer has given me a bit of physical fitness. The last month has been very tough. This last weekend, however, I pushed a bit and did some laundry, soaked then cooked raw beans (black, if you are curious, and one of my favorite), cooked some rice, cleaned the dishes from those, and then cooked some meats for dinners through the week (plus some nice snacks during the process). I also studied my tougher class, if physics study is lagging.
More, I am hoping to get up early enough tomorrow to try and speak with my professor about seeing him a time or two a week. His office hours are a bit problematic. I am going to see if we cannot make other arrangements. I know I am bright enough to do well in this class, but I feel that either some significant portion of the class is far brighter or they are getting more information about what to study. I will have to be careful in how I approach the matter. Still, a broken bell curve is indicative of problems. In any case, I will continue to work hard, but I will not put in extraordinary effort knowing that it is not a reasonable practice given the amount of material we could be tested over is far too great to reasonably cover to be ready to test and quiz on to the level I have seen thus far. I cannot prove every theorem cross-referenced to various formulas without some clues. I have an IQ of between 120 and 148 (depending on how well I am doing). This should not be this difficult, especially since I have been putting in more than a sincere effort.
As well, I am hoping to push through with my plans of seeking a home. I am very nervous about trying to buy a house at this time. Even if I can find a bargain, it would be tough to end up with much more house loan than a houses worth in a few years. I would like to get out of here, however. It is becoming more like the hood every day. And, I would like to get in on a bargain with current low interest rates and reduced pricing. I suppose this is speculation. But the truth is, without risk there is no gain. Though I am not trying to get into a home to create wealth as a primary goal, it is a part of the thing. This project does add a good deal of work to my current load, while I am often weak and tired. But moving ahead in spite of things has, at times, proven to be the best policy in that it leads me to greater capacity. I do know, definitely, that backing off or taking time off ends up hurting me far more than it helps, other than for very short times (a weekend here or there).
As bad is things are, life is still good. I have some doubts about college, certainly if I honestly cannot do this class well. As I have said though, if it turns out that I cannot make it, I have some other plans. As weak as those are, as unsure about how those plans will really work, I am pretty sure I will find life after an attempted professional career if it all turns south. Of course, that does make purchasing a house here a dubious proposition. I guess I am walking ahead on faith alone. I have to plan as well as I can, then go forward with honest concern but with faith too. I have to hope I will do what is wise given what I know and that God has my interests in mind, even if I do not always understand that process. This is life, it is a dubious process all by itself. Add in economy, politics, religion, love, and such, and the dubious becomes impossible. As I said, that is when faith becomes useful, both faith in the world in a minor way and in God’s will in a big way.
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