Sometimes...

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Pork, beef, chicken... sometimes it is bad.  Sometimes it is good.  And, once in a rare time, it is excellent.  Is it the cooking, the thawing process?  Was it secured, for good or ill, in the packing process?  I just can't say.  All I know is, when it is good, when it was packed right, thawed correctly, stored correctly, cooked as it should be?  It can be absolutely delicious.

I ended up having the pound of pork, if with bone in.  I fried it, pan fried it.  And it came out absolutely delicious.  It wasn't overdone, dry.  But it was done through and through.  It didn't have that grainy texture pork can sometimes have.  It was juicy, had a nice bite, salted just right, and good in every way.

That leg still sure hurts.

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Why?  Well, I don't care.  I just know that, sometimes, it feels like it's on fire.  I went without socks, even though it was very cold yesterday.  Today, socks.  No bandage either day.  But, it has scabbed over.  But it hurt both days, no matter what I do.  I am still hoping to get a showed today.  Always hope.  And, sometimes, more.  God gifted us with hope, plus faith and charity.  Not... just for worship, but for life too.

Blood sugar is 103.  I had some coffee first, leftover from yesterday.  It... can increase blood sugar.  I suspect it did.  Still, okay.

Okay.

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Blood sugar dropped to 93.  Always glad to see that.  For my good behavior, and just because, I am finally having a couple cups of bone broth.  Chicken arrived today.  I used some of that, with the cup left of open beef bone broth.  Some salt, hot spices, and cream as well.  Very nice.

My stomach hurts.  Literally, to the touch.  As if I was recently punched.  Can antibiotics do that?  Or did I bump into something, run into something, fall on my stomach, but not remember?  It really hurts.  Very strange.  I did only take three pills today, because of overdosing of late.  Reducing dosage won't cause that sort of problem.  But, the medicine itself might?

I was wondering.

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Have I been taking too many antibiotics?  Well?  I had to count.  But, maybe.  Or, if the number they had was correct... if they started with forty, as written on the label?  Then... yes.  I am three pills ahead.  Just... had a sense that I was... off.  I'm three pills ahead.  So I am skipping tonight.  Or... more... I am not taking a fifth today?  Right.  

I'm not sure how I got so off, but... part of it was the pain.  When you are in a lot of pain, hitting the gas just happens.  Then, the medicine itself can throw you.  Or me.  That antibiotic is... rather potent.  Between that, else, and wanting to make sure I take the pills, I just overdid a bit.

Coffee?

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And steak!  Oh... love that.  Could only eat half the steak.  But enjoyed the whole half!?!  Something like that.  The rest will be for later, or tomorrow.  I'd still like to try to eat more.  Either frying the burger, or pork chops.  Half a pound more, if I can eat more.  But sure enjoyed some food.  And coffee.

Looked around the internet a bit.  People doing their things.  I'm not worried, even if there are those who would come after me, or some of us.  It... just doesn't matter.  I just hope, if I get to be a martyr, that I can... be a good one.  I'm not sure I feel the need to be hung upside down on a cross, if it gets to that.  That seems... a bit of a drama queen thing.  Just... break me on that wheel the old fashioned way.  It's good enough.  If, too, I do understand the sentiment.  Not... knocking it, completely.  It just isn't my gig.  Though, too, choices may not be offered, and what is given is what is gotten.  Usually?

A bit of gaming, next.  Then a shower.  Then I'll check to see if the ironing board is in.  Then... on to finding the irons.  If all works, perhaps a start on ironing yet today?  Or... getting it set up anyway?  We'll see.

A bit ill.  From the antibiotics, from the wound, from winter, from health of lack of it, if still having moments of nausea just from the debriding.  But there are a lot of things still pushing nausea.  I am surprised I don't toss my cookies two or three times a day.  Would it feel better?  After consuming draino, and chunking that a few times, and the burning from that up and down?  I... haven't been able to vomit easily since.  I have, a few times.  But... it's rare.  And difficult.  Which is the only reason I haven't been tossing.  Still, my body really wants to, it just can't quite get over that... difficulty.

Still, I am enjoying the coffee and steak.  What of it I could eat.  I'll get the rest put up, probably for tomorrow.  And, hopefully, get some burger (probably) fried up for later.  A strange diet, but it works.  Mostly.  Later.

Awake.

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Getting to it?  Maybe, a bit of a start, shortly?

Blood sugar first thing.  Finally, it is... improving as it should.  It is 99 fasting.  Good enough.  I'll take that any day of the week, fasting or later in the day.

Just a bit more out there.

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A few hours ago, that is.  I got back out there, and did just a bit more cleaning up with the scoop.  It really did go a lot more smoothly this second time.  Nice.  The sidewalks, and a place along the driveway, were just clearer better.  The ice that remained was more easily removed.  Only parts of the driveway wouldn't clear all that well.  Better, not as well as the sidewalks.

It was down to thirty two when I got out that last time.  Not... bad.  But it was going from thawed to freezing, and it was showing.  Colder.  The electric vest made that an easy thing though.  But I was getting tired.  Between the infection and the antibiotics, I'm tired.  Still, got to a few things.

Some starts.

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Not much physical?  Mostly.  I did get out to check the walks, and drive.  It's 40 F out there!  With eight to twelve inches of snow.  The sky cleared off.  Bright and shiny, like a cold white beach.  So very bright.  I cleared the path, scooped off a few places where it iced over... and has thawed.  There were some places which just wouldn't lift.

I did what I could.  In spite of being forty, it... sure feels colder.  I wore out pretty quickly.  But, at least I took off some of the ice.  And cleared more furter out, so it won't be as likely to drain back in to some areas, then freeze over again.  I may get back out there again this evening.  If we get something, any time soon, it will be rain.  But, it will go cold and freezing shortly after, or as it grows dark.  This is the part of winter that is most frightening.  Thankfully I don't liver where flooding is more likely.  But, when discussing biblical stages of flooding, no one is safe.

A really good morning.

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Everything, around the edges of my brain, is a bit fluffy.  Antibiotics, but too, it's doing it's thing.  And well.  A little price to pay is worth it.  The pain in my leg is lessening?  A bit.  It's still there, very sharp from time to time.  But, less.  Less severe, less frequent, for shorter spells.  Not... necessarily a good sign, but it is a change.  And, one can hope.

Up twenty before eight, or so.  Can't be sure when I went down.  I am all but certain it was after 19:30.  And, probably, well after.  Into 20:00? 21:00?  If I was up to 22:00, I didn't make it later.  I just... can't be sure.  If I had to guess I would say between 19:30 and 20:30, but I just don't know.  And, yeah, I was looking.  Down here, up there when I went down.  Just... short term memory is fritzed, either from antibiotics, the infection, both, maybe more.  Winter just turned... winter.

Yeah, okay.

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The antibiotics are rough.  I feel like I have been drinking.  I haven't had a drink for... a year, two... three?  It's... been a goodly long time.  Every six months to year and a half, I had been buying some beer.  It was coming due when Budweiser pissed on their shoes.  No, I... never drank B. light.  Or any light beer.  But, it didn't matter.  Further, if that is the way corporations are going, they are going there without me.

I've dumped McDonalds, even Wendy's (though as much for cost as else with the latter).  All the rest.  As much because they are going woke as anything else.  I do wonder if corporations are trying to chase off better people, to bring in the ones they want to eliminate.  Sure, there are blacks and browns on the boards, but Uncle Tom's have been betraying their own forever.

It's warmed up!

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From four to eight, F.  Bleh.  Snowing.  At a pace of about an inch an hour, or more?  We are supposed to get hit hard.  Today.  A day off.  Then hit hard again through the next week.  Daily, for the next most of the next week.  As well, it's supposed to go from a frigid hard snow, to a slushy rain snow mix.  Ugh.  That is the worst of things, especially in mountain and higher elevations.

It looks like, again, we will get as we got last year.  To be honest, we were getting it.  But in the form of rain.  December was rather warm.  So it wasn't accumulating, showing as snow depth.  But we were getting it.  I thought so, but... it's... more difficult to be certain when it is in the form of rain.

Up, reasonably.

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Sleep wasn't all that good.  Pain, now and again, would wake me.  Harshly.  And, really, I never went without hurting through the night, small or large, asleep or awake.  But I did get some rest in there.  I took it, it wasn't given, offered, or generally just available.

Down about a quarter after twenty two hundred, up a quarter to six.  I looked outside, to see if we got more snow.  While we hadn't, we are.  It is coming down in almost a wave.  Heavy, thick, fast.  And it is still cold out there, right at four if my morning eyes saw clearly.

Hmm?

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Blood sugar has been slightly elevated all day.  Stress?  Maybe, from the pain.  But, yes.  Annoying.  Still, just around 126, give or take a few points.  Annoying.

A different game, to play.  Can't focus enough to play the other one.  This one, again, having to learn everything from scratch.  Survival, of sorts.  But, instead of space ships to ride?  Dinosaurs.  Something... different anyway.

Ugh.

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It's a rough day.  I need... something.  Coffee?  Food was good.  couldn't eat much.  Well spiced, good enough.  But... couldn't eat much.  A bit of a fever, for real?  If so, a slight one.  But... maybe.  Pain, cold, fever, sort of a minor bad way in every direction.  Well, no body aches, if the ankle wound is still pretty rough.  Worse from time to time, better about half the time.

Yeah, I think I'll make coffee.  Then, probably, a mug of bone broth, heated, and spiced to high heaven.  With cream in there.  Well, and butter, if that usually, at least for me, generally goes without saying.

Nausea.

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All morning.  Didn't want to drink, or eat, anything.  Not just nausea, a bit feverish?  Or... like that.  Not quite with a fever, just how that feels when I've had one.  Especially with nausea.  Can't throw up, don't have anything in there.

Still, going to try to eat something.  Drink?  No coffee.  That's just too heavy.  I'll take aspirin, with caffeine, for my fix.  Extra spice, the hot stuff, that makes life easier, somehow.  Not sure why, but it just does.  And, later, probably some bone broth, also with hot spices, and extra extra.  It... settles my stomach, strangely.

Finally got some sleep.

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Still hurts like hell, but... I think I got down sometime between four and six.  Was so tired, though, tracking the exact time wasn't possible.  And, it still hurt, waking me through sleep.  Though, finally waking at between ten and ten thirty?  Sometime in there.

Blood sugar wasn't as bad as I had worried, at 115 fasting.  Between the pain stress, lack of good sleep, and veggies last night, I had some worries that it would be higher.  Very surprised it isn't as high as it has been the last few days.  I'll take it, gladly, if I hope it improves back to where it was for... a goodly? or short? while?

Parent.

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Child.

Wretching.

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Nearly.  Woke in such pain I almost threw up.  Had to get out of bed.  Wrap up for warmth and some comfort, or attempt at it.

Torture.  I won't let a doctor touch that leg ever again.  Not without anesthetizing it.  I wonder if they found out I am a double breed.  Perhaps that is a group that is still allowed to be hated?  Even a dog would be given something for the pain.  Well, that or they read here and are serious groid lovers.  I could see that too.  I wonder how they would feel about them if they had been raised by a hateful alcoholic abusive one of them?  Yea, they know nothing.  When it comes for them, we'll see how long they stay liberal.

Oh... that leg.  Wow.  Imagine you have a wound, and someone takes a steel brush and a drill to it.  Right.  Look with the eyes, keep the hands in the back pockets.  If I wanted torture, I'd become a pow.  No, no I think not.

Another thing to consider... of concern.

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Even if my cheat was more into the keto territory, I worried that maybe the carrots had increased blood sugar.  Here, as I get ready for bed, and took the last antibiotic for the day, I decided to check that.

Always something, right?  Still, even if it was up, it wouldn't be as bad as if I had stopped for a burrito, or beef roast sandwich, or had half a dozen donuts and a half gallon of milk.  Right.  Right?  As it turns out, this time, that is right.  At 109 it's... a bit higher than the last read.  But, for having eaten an extra meal in the day, besides the veggie tray, it's not bad.

OMG that hurt.

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I did get in to see the doctor.  Pretty quick, all told.  There was someone else there, a family.  Non-English speaking.  But, that was it.  I was a bit surprised.  I suppose people have completely backed out of seeing doctors.  Often, like even me, stalling these things.  Just... don't trust doctors anymore.

After today, I'm more certain I don't trust doctors.

Whew.

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I just had this feeling that blood sugar wouldn't drop.  That I'd be here, with egg on my face.  But, no.  It went down.  It is 107.  A twenty nine point drop, which is about what I have been seeing.  Though why, some days and not others, it is in the 130s?  That I can't quite understand.  Still, it's... good enough.  For now.  Will work on lowering even that little bit.

Hungry?  Yes, but with nausea too.  Still, I'm going to have a bit more burger crumble and gravy.  I'd like to cook something else, but I'm just not up to it.  I think I can keep the burger crumble and gravy going, and it is... satisfying enough.  The gravy, as mentioned, is using the burger juices, cream, cream cheese, sour cream, salt, and bone broth.  It really is delicious.

Experimenting.

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With blood sugar in the 130's, and foods/drinks bringing it down, I wanted to see if I could isolate what was bringing it down, specifically.

So, I went with what I suspected wasn't changing anything first.  Two days of experiments, and?  And, what I thought doesn't bring it down, didn't.  Is what I suspect going to bring it down?  I'll find out shortly.  Two data points aren't surety, but with past experience and a general sense, it'll be enough.

Up at three.

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And, yes, I vacuumed.  The upstairs.  I wanted to do the steps, but the collector is full, and I need to figure out how to empty it without making a mess!  Stupid thing.

Sassy was fed first thing, in part because I forgot her last feeding last night.  And... she was hungry!  Her belly was growling this morning.  Wow.  Okay.

She... knows.

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Lots of pops.  Here are a few.  Had to laugh.

So wanted to stay up a little later.

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Still, it's nearing 16:00.  It'll be past that by the time I finish this, get upstairs and ready for bed, then tuck in.  But not by much.  I wanted to make it an hour or two later.  It just isn't going to happen.

Did have another coffee.  Weaker, mostly just for warmth.  It did warm me, but that sure passes quickly.  I... have just gotten used to the fact that, for most of the year, I will be cool to cold.  Such a... different thing.  I finally understand not just that old oriental woman, but most of my women.  They were always such cold little things.  I'm a massive thing, I shouldn't be cold.

Didn't hear them.

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Then again, they aren't here to talk.  Just... clear the driveway.  It's a gift, talking is extra.  I... try to remember, and stay inside.  So as not to bother, or lengthen the process.  I... get it.  I just forget, sometimes.  Still, thankful.

Some burger crumble, heated.  It had some gravy in it.  Added a bit of sour cream, and some cheese.  Keeping extras to a minimum in hopes of countering the slight right in blood sugar.  Then, have had a few sips of water, as well as a dose of bone broth.  Both the broth and burger got treated with hot stuff.  But I'm just not tasting it, mostly.

I checked blood sugar, expecting the same, or a bit higher.  Was pleasantly surprised to see it at 100.  Okay.  Frustrated, with it's odd ups and downs.  But, really?  A 133, even fasting?  Is pretty good.  I just... my problem is I don't know what little thing is causing the ups.  I don't need to worry about the downs.  I just... want to try to do my part to keep it down.  Maybe, just maybe, those little bumps up?  Have nothing to do with what I am doing.  It just... happens?  Either until I completely get over being diabetic, or until something else improves?  Or, just maybe, it will always have little bumps in it.  Even that high.  I guess I'll find out over time.

Still pretty chilly.

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Even so, I finished the shoveling.  I had most of the snow out of that area, but, being so deep, it really needed a second attempt to clear.  Which it go.  And, I then scooped a path to the front walk, and cleared that.  The wind has died to an occasional breeze, a stoppage, then a short sustained gust.  But... it's still cold.

Just getting to coffee now.  Tasty, and warm.  Though I do worry if they are adding sugar or flavorings to the coffee.  I'll have to call in to the company and check.  Not sure they will be honest though.  It seems like the government is worried people will stop eating and drinking bad things, so have started pushing companies into adding ingredients, without having to identify them?  Seriously, I think they are poisoning food any way they think they can.  Sugar isn't just an addiction, it's a poison.  At least, as much as alcohol, tobacco, caffeine, and such are.

Snow indeed.

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Hard to tell, exactly, how much was gotten.  Wind.  It's still windy, but has stopped snowing.  Definitely wasn't shnowing!  Nine inches?  I don't think so.  More like six inches?  Though, as mentioned, where it stacks depends on wind, how much, which direction, and such.  No way to really tell, where I was working.  Though, usually, the deepest part is more likely to be what fell.  Which... is more like six inches?  Or so.

And, none of it melted off.  It is fluff, top to bottom.  No ice underneath, no sludge.  Just powder.  But it is heavy.  Ugh.  I cleared five to seven feet from the garage out.  Had to come in.  My hands were absolutely freezing!  Checked the temperature, because of such serious cold.  It is 20.  Ah, but the wind.  Yea.  And, at least when I was coming in, it was a solid wall, and probably fifteen to twenty knots?  So, okay.  At first I thought I'd lost my Iowa earned winter balls!  But, no.  With that sort of wind, especially since the air it is moving is even colder than standing?  Yea.  It's... cold enough for me to have been a bit whiny.  Still, I'll be back out shortly.  Want to finish cleaning that area, then scoop to the front path, and open the sidewalk from the drive to the front door.  Hopefully that will... help anyone who ends up clearing the rest of the drive.  Or I am stuck.  No way can I clear the rest of the drive.

Better, worse, good, bad, so be it.

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To bed just before 16:00.  Or, I headed up then.  Undressing, setting up things to charge, dressing for bed, tucking in... it all takes a while.  Still, probably to sleep before 16:00, by between five and twenty minutes.  I just... can't remember.  Not sure I looked though, either.  Some nights I forget.

Dreams, of girlfriends I had before... I had girlfriends?  Something like that.  A girl named Lisa, in the third grade.  Michelle, but she was... just a wanted friend, I think both ways.  We never were friends.  Her parents were teachers.  I was different, aggressively against the system even then, and not willing to abide the "chosen ones".  Not a bully myself, but I could, and did, absolutely crush the bully boys, even standing up to their much older brothers and coming out ahead.  Not in combat, but combat is only half of the thing.  As... I taught them.  When your peers are against you, even the ones you typically bully, the gig is up.