I may not be Einstein, though I don’t think he was either. I’ll save that topic for another time. I may not be Sir Edmund Hillary, who by the way, I fully agree, was indeed Sir Edmund Hillary. Heck, I’m not anybody famous and not even me half of the time, in that my thoughts and spirit seem to be away in their own worlds leaving what appears to be me as just a shell which does it’s own thing. Still, this day I have combined enough personal elements to do a task. My roman shades and curtains have been installed. There were a few complications, several rethinks, some learning, and I really had to focus to keep on task and consider the various options and choices rightly. But honestly, it is quite simple. I had never set up shade pulls before, so that was new, but if you can pull a cord through a set of small spans several times and in several possible ways, and then by trial and error figure out which one works and how, you get a star right on your cute little 5 year old forehead. The task would be a 1 on a scale of 1 to 10, 10 being the most difficult. No, I’m not a carpenter, mechanic, or a scientist or physicist. Any adult body should be able to do this.
I have also been getting caught up on other household chores, the kitchen is being ordered and the linens and clothes are nearly laundered. It’s turning into a very pleasant day. Though work is work, it is pleasant and I enjoy it when I am able and can organize it and stay with it. I will enjoy my apartment and my life so much more when these tasks are complete that I am not truly be able to express it here.
The window treatments will not win me any best design awards. I’d be surprised if my lady friend approves. But the devices, panels, and cords are straight and functioning, the double layer of modesty I have so long desired is in place, and I like the look, I did it myself relatively quickly, and with out wounding myself or damaging the property. The boxes and tools have all been put away except for the cordless drill, which is staying out until I have both of it’s battery packs charged. And, really, I am pleased. I will truly enjoy the ribs tonight, my reward is two fold and more.
Now, to put my actual boots on and check my mail. It’s been a few days. Should be nice and cool out there too. If I am not wiped out tomorrow, I should start going through some math. It can really sharpen up rough edges of the mind’s capacities and it’s almost a compulsive behavior once I get on a roll. I don’t know, I just have to tighten things back up. Perhaps I can then get back to writing thoughts and doubts rather than mundane daily drivel that means even less.
Saturday, February 17, 2007
Today, not tomorrow, or yesterday.
I had forgotten that I would write about my experiment while roasting turkey. I had included brats in the basin and I had added rice. I had hoped for a mixing of meat flavors. Well, it did not really work. I probably will do the rice part again, adding a cup and a half of rice, though I will only add it for a half hour next time. The brats where fine, but just plain brats. I do not know about the juice. I gave that over to my friend so that she could make soup, which she indicated she would share, but I have not heard back about the soup or even if it was good. The rice was over done, though sufficient to consume. And of course, the turkey had zero change. However, I would like to figure out a way to produce a multi-meat flavored dish with the water in the roaster. It isn’t just to fully utilize the heat, I’m not that conservative. I am trying this in order to get the fresh cooking juices of the meats to blend in a savory manner. I will continue thinking and experimenting. I have plans to cook another turkey sometime in April or May. I am sure there are recipes out there, but I like inventing my own wheel to the extent that is possible, then comparing processes and ingredients as an afterthought regarding cooking, and actually, with much of what I do when I can do it. I’m considering roasts or stew meat. I could see adding beef, lamb, pork, a combination of two of those, or all three roasts or cut, floured, and seared pieces of stew meats. Of course, I season things well, lots of this, bits of that, some of this, and all with some salt. My herb and spice rack is large, with 40 spices and herbs available. And, as soon as I am more mobile, I would like to start a minor potted herb garden. Fresh herbs produce the finest results in some cooking, fresh salsas, and salads.
Now, I don’t really love to cook if I do enjoy it at times. The mechanical “work” is just that, but the “chemistry” aspect is fun, that is, getting a very specific grouping of flavors using spices, herbs, and varied ingredients. I love to eat, and eat well. I have an idea of what certain foods should taste or feel like, al dente for pasta, medium rare to rare for beef, done yet juicy for foul, etc. and I target that. I have only ever had once girlfriend of several past loves who could cook a good meal regularly and the way I like it, an older woman of course. But in those days, I was in the market for the wrong kind of woman, perhaps that was a hint from God? Cooking is the only way to eat well in a cost effective manner. The main drawback with cooking is dishes. Some of my favorite meals utilize many devices, mixing bowls, pots, pans, and utensils, then the serving ware, plates, silverware, and glasses make for a pile of dishes even when I am able to keep on top of kitchen clean up while cooking. Being a current bachelor, I can skip the serving ware, use paper plates, and minimize in other ways and I do for lesser meals, yet it’s still a good deal of work and I am not a natural multi-tasker, so it’s only three times a week that I make a complete meal while using the time between them cleaning up. The rest of my meals are quick foods and leftovers.
Onto other aspects of life. I picked some curtains and roman blinds for my living room and they arrived some time ago. I am hoping to get those up today. I’m still not up to leaving the house, but I might be able to get this done. It is easy work. It will require some drilling, measuring, and a few other odds and ends. Yet, in my foggy exhausted condition, this is a tricky thing. To think I can get an A+ in engineering calculus II and have trouble with this today is a bit troubling. Still, I can fret about it and moan, or do what I can. So, today I’m going to put my proverbial boots on and put my hands to the labors they are able to do. As well, as a reward, I purchased bone in beef ribs. The way to a man’s heart, attention, and action is either the promise of food or loving. Since I am solo, my options are somewhat thin. So, it’s Ribs!
Have a good day all.
Now, I don’t really love to cook if I do enjoy it at times. The mechanical “work” is just that, but the “chemistry” aspect is fun, that is, getting a very specific grouping of flavors using spices, herbs, and varied ingredients. I love to eat, and eat well. I have an idea of what certain foods should taste or feel like, al dente for pasta, medium rare to rare for beef, done yet juicy for foul, etc. and I target that. I have only ever had once girlfriend of several past loves who could cook a good meal regularly and the way I like it, an older woman of course. But in those days, I was in the market for the wrong kind of woman, perhaps that was a hint from God? Cooking is the only way to eat well in a cost effective manner. The main drawback with cooking is dishes. Some of my favorite meals utilize many devices, mixing bowls, pots, pans, and utensils, then the serving ware, plates, silverware, and glasses make for a pile of dishes even when I am able to keep on top of kitchen clean up while cooking. Being a current bachelor, I can skip the serving ware, use paper plates, and minimize in other ways and I do for lesser meals, yet it’s still a good deal of work and I am not a natural multi-tasker, so it’s only three times a week that I make a complete meal while using the time between them cleaning up. The rest of my meals are quick foods and leftovers.
Onto other aspects of life. I picked some curtains and roman blinds for my living room and they arrived some time ago. I am hoping to get those up today. I’m still not up to leaving the house, but I might be able to get this done. It is easy work. It will require some drilling, measuring, and a few other odds and ends. Yet, in my foggy exhausted condition, this is a tricky thing. To think I can get an A+ in engineering calculus II and have trouble with this today is a bit troubling. Still, I can fret about it and moan, or do what I can. So, today I’m going to put my proverbial boots on and put my hands to the labors they are able to do. As well, as a reward, I purchased bone in beef ribs. The way to a man’s heart, attention, and action is either the promise of food or loving. Since I am solo, my options are somewhat thin. So, it’s Ribs!
Have a good day all.
Friday, February 16, 2007
The world is turning and on all it's axes.
My mother is the mayor of a very tiny town. She has been the mayor of that town three different times. She has never been voted out, she gets tired of the task and tells the voters she will not take the position if re-elected and means it. She is embroiled in a major local issue and is trying to lead the city in a direction that seems wise. In her corner are the people who donated the money to the city, the local school system, and a majority of the town folk. In the other corner is most of the town council. She has always been a bit of a scrapper, and when she is right she really is a force of nature. Still, being enough like her, I know this costs her a great deal personally. So, I worry a bit. She might be a battle axe, but she is a sweet and sensitive one, kind to a fault if demanding beyond reason at times.
What is at issue is what the city should build with $25,000, donated by a local company specifically to enlarge the cities ability to facilitate people at city council meetings and fund raising events. What the city council wishes to do is to build a large shed for city owned tools and such. What she is trying to do is join with the local school (who will add $100,000 to the project) and build a combination bus barn and community center. After speaking with a lawyer, it seems that the city and school can make a legally binding agreement which would ensure the city doesn’t lose the facility if the school closes and or is restructured. The contract might even yield the whole of the facility, in such cases, to the city. The school has also agreed to pay for all utilities if the city will offer free water from the city pump. She is the only Democratic and female candidate I have ever voted for, a thing I remind her from time to time with wonder, joy, a little humor, and a bit of humility, and I am pulling for her. It was great to be able to tell my Mom that I am proud of her. I have asked her to save all the clippings and perhaps get her local interviews recorded. And I will be calling a bit more often to support her. This isn’t her first brush with local fame and history, but this time I want some of the recordings.
The next topic is a thing I read this morning, though it’s not new I had some ideas stem from it. Tax shelters in the Netherlands seem quite an issue. Far from being against such a thing, however, I am contemplating how the average man could group into an association in such a way that his income, linked with many others, is cleaned of taxes in that country. What about “give unto Caesar…” and all that you say? If you think you aren’t paying taxes by not paying income tax, you just do not understand. Almost every consumer item you buy is taxed. Sure you say, but that’s just 5%, right? NO, it isn’t. It is 5% of the purchase price, regardless of your income, and that is just federal tax, not including state and local, gas, licenses, and whatever other scheme they are using to gouge money out of your working stiff back. Doh! You are giving and giving and giving to Caesar and you are not getting much back much, and a good lot of what you are indeed getting you probably do not want (abortion center support, the homosexual agenda, multi-cultural aggrandizement, government land theft, added costs to people and companies through unfunded mandates, and a lot of other craziness. We need a taxing and spending revision, desperately, and this type of action on a grand scale might just do that. Oh, I know it’s a pipe dream. I will add though that the very liberals who are pushing for increased taxes and government spending in their countries should NOT be allowed to take advantage of this. U2 was caught with it’s liberal mouth flapping while it’s money is in the Netherlands.
The last issue is a hopeful thing. After years of searching for a medical solution, I may have found something. I can’t quite be sure. After looking over an initial page I found, indicating suspiciously similar symptoms, I saw the link to go their main page. I was thinking, honestly, “Here is where they ask for my credit card number”. Bummer, no credit card needed. Well, bummer for my cynicism only. This site not only offered a more full explanation of the problem but a free and complete explanation of what this man, and now many others, used to free themselves of this difficulty. Beyond, it explained that this isn’t foolproof or absolute, it’s not a cure in other words, merely a treatment that works for the most part. My, the advice is free, it doesn’t make a guarantee, the author isn’t involved with the manufacture or sale of any of the system, and there is a simple and inexpensive positive test to see if this is the problem. Did I just fall off the cynicism band wagon, or was that thump my jaw hitting the desk? Anyway, I have something to run with while I check into this. I’ll be going out today to see if I can find a simple oral pH balance test strip kit. Updates to follow. Oh, I sent an email to the people after I reviewed a good bit of the page but before I stumbled onto the part about pH testing. I have already received a reply this morning, with advice to test for pH, and even an offer to speak with my doctor regarding this issue! I’m afraid. I’m afraid I won’t have a pH difference. I am afraid I will have a pH difference. I guess the potential for change, good or bad, is a fearful thing. I don’t even want to link to their page out of fear it might be shut down because of me. Am I paranoid? After 20 years of living with a crippling condition, that is an affirmative.
What is at issue is what the city should build with $25,000, donated by a local company specifically to enlarge the cities ability to facilitate people at city council meetings and fund raising events. What the city council wishes to do is to build a large shed for city owned tools and such. What she is trying to do is join with the local school (who will add $100,000 to the project) and build a combination bus barn and community center. After speaking with a lawyer, it seems that the city and school can make a legally binding agreement which would ensure the city doesn’t lose the facility if the school closes and or is restructured. The contract might even yield the whole of the facility, in such cases, to the city. The school has also agreed to pay for all utilities if the city will offer free water from the city pump. She is the only Democratic and female candidate I have ever voted for, a thing I remind her from time to time with wonder, joy, a little humor, and a bit of humility, and I am pulling for her. It was great to be able to tell my Mom that I am proud of her. I have asked her to save all the clippings and perhaps get her local interviews recorded. And I will be calling a bit more often to support her. This isn’t her first brush with local fame and history, but this time I want some of the recordings.
The next topic is a thing I read this morning, though it’s not new I had some ideas stem from it. Tax shelters in the Netherlands seem quite an issue. Far from being against such a thing, however, I am contemplating how the average man could group into an association in such a way that his income, linked with many others, is cleaned of taxes in that country. What about “give unto Caesar…” and all that you say? If you think you aren’t paying taxes by not paying income tax, you just do not understand. Almost every consumer item you buy is taxed. Sure you say, but that’s just 5%, right? NO, it isn’t. It is 5% of the purchase price, regardless of your income, and that is just federal tax, not including state and local, gas, licenses, and whatever other scheme they are using to gouge money out of your working stiff back. Doh! You are giving and giving and giving to Caesar and you are not getting much back much, and a good lot of what you are indeed getting you probably do not want (abortion center support, the homosexual agenda, multi-cultural aggrandizement, government land theft, added costs to people and companies through unfunded mandates, and a lot of other craziness. We need a taxing and spending revision, desperately, and this type of action on a grand scale might just do that. Oh, I know it’s a pipe dream. I will add though that the very liberals who are pushing for increased taxes and government spending in their countries should NOT be allowed to take advantage of this. U2 was caught with it’s liberal mouth flapping while it’s money is in the Netherlands.
The last issue is a hopeful thing. After years of searching for a medical solution, I may have found something. I can’t quite be sure. After looking over an initial page I found, indicating suspiciously similar symptoms, I saw the link to go their main page. I was thinking, honestly, “Here is where they ask for my credit card number”. Bummer, no credit card needed. Well, bummer for my cynicism only. This site not only offered a more full explanation of the problem but a free and complete explanation of what this man, and now many others, used to free themselves of this difficulty. Beyond, it explained that this isn’t foolproof or absolute, it’s not a cure in other words, merely a treatment that works for the most part. My, the advice is free, it doesn’t make a guarantee, the author isn’t involved with the manufacture or sale of any of the system, and there is a simple and inexpensive positive test to see if this is the problem. Did I just fall off the cynicism band wagon, or was that thump my jaw hitting the desk? Anyway, I have something to run with while I check into this. I’ll be going out today to see if I can find a simple oral pH balance test strip kit. Updates to follow. Oh, I sent an email to the people after I reviewed a good bit of the page but before I stumbled onto the part about pH testing. I have already received a reply this morning, with advice to test for pH, and even an offer to speak with my doctor regarding this issue! I’m afraid. I’m afraid I won’t have a pH difference. I am afraid I will have a pH difference. I guess the potential for change, good or bad, is a fearful thing. I don’t even want to link to their page out of fear it might be shut down because of me. Am I paranoid? After 20 years of living with a crippling condition, that is an affirmative.
Thursday, February 15, 2007
Ok, I want to get there. Maybe knowing where I am at will help.
Being off the medication has allowed me to be more functional. Note, I said more functional. I've been getting up around 4:00 am, fussing about doing a few house chores and looking over the news and the blogs to try and wake up. It's now 6 hours later and here I sit still tired. I will be tired all day, but I can force my self, for the most part, to stay up 14 to 16 hours. I have enough energy, now, to do some of those tasks that just hadn't been possible on the blood pressure medication. But I am still limited, too limited.
I did purchase a swim pass, but exercise was not really helpful in the past. I was swimming regularly without good results. I finally quit because the schedule kept changing, sometimes many children where present, and the swim times were usually in the 6:00 am time frame, while occasionally being canceled without notice. I guess I'm picky. Anyway, the new swim area is more adult oriented and the is available daily, regularly, and at decent times. If nothing else, I will be in better shape while I waste away
The doctors just do not seem to know what to do. And, once I was labeled, rightly or wrongly, as a depressive, it seems difficult to receive more than sympathy and happy pills as their offerings. I'm not "unhappy" if frustrated, and those medications did not work, so I am assuming that is not the problem. What in the world could cause such exhaustion and for such a long stretch of time? At least my vital signs show oddities, spikes and drops unrelated to any real causations. I have even been diagnosed with severe type II diabetes, for a while. I had a count of over 500 for a month, and with a fasting blood test the average had been 350 for the previous three months. My average is now one 112 with occasional fasting spikes of up to 200, without any medication including the insulin shots which I unceremoniously stopped taking due to drops into the 60’s range. Pulse seems to jump, randomly it seems, to as high as one 125 resting, though averages around 92 to 95. And my blood pressure, though in the 170’s/110’s range, can dip precipitously while the medication seem to have only little effect. Interesting, but nothing seems to fit a diagnosis that I can find. I do my own homework, with my limited knowledge.
Anyway, I tried to get to church yesterday but the buses were running irregularly or the weather was slowing them down so that I did not catch one in a timely manner. I am going to have to figure that out because either their pamphlets are wrong or yesterday and a few other days were just off for them. I did make it to a church related group last night and really enjoyed the company. It will be a weekly thing, and I have a ride set up now. For some reason, I could not get a cab last evening, in spite of trying for over an hour in advance of my hoped 7:00 pm departure time. I really have to get a winter vehicle. Ah, but my savings. Choices, conundrums, and folly, maybe I should just hand the man my wallet and shut up? Ha Ah well, it all works with a little patience and considered thought. I will not be making it to church this day, I just can not do it.
I guess what I am left with is not answers, but questions. What I do with the lack of answers and, often, viable solutions, might well mark whether I have character or not. Thankfully, that will be for another to decide, but it is my task to make that decision easier. So I propose today, tomorrow, and which ever day I am able, I will just get up, do what I can of that which is left to me to do, and keep pushing. I will either push through to function or just push until it is my time to, hopefully, graduate to a place of maturity where my efforts will be truly fruitful. I still have much to be thankful for, and I am, right here and now. I have a place to call home, some friends who dare to disagree and tell me the truth, food to not only eat but also to enjoy, things to tinker with in my play pen, and faith, hope, and charity which I have received and earnestly try to fulfill. Not bad, in the long and short of things.
I did purchase a swim pass, but exercise was not really helpful in the past. I was swimming regularly without good results. I finally quit because the schedule kept changing, sometimes many children where present, and the swim times were usually in the 6:00 am time frame, while occasionally being canceled without notice. I guess I'm picky. Anyway, the new swim area is more adult oriented and the is available daily, regularly, and at decent times. If nothing else, I will be in better shape while I waste away
The doctors just do not seem to know what to do. And, once I was labeled, rightly or wrongly, as a depressive, it seems difficult to receive more than sympathy and happy pills as their offerings. I'm not "unhappy" if frustrated, and those medications did not work, so I am assuming that is not the problem. What in the world could cause such exhaustion and for such a long stretch of time? At least my vital signs show oddities, spikes and drops unrelated to any real causations. I have even been diagnosed with severe type II diabetes, for a while. I had a count of over 500 for a month, and with a fasting blood test the average had been 350 for the previous three months. My average is now one 112 with occasional fasting spikes of up to 200, without any medication including the insulin shots which I unceremoniously stopped taking due to drops into the 60’s range. Pulse seems to jump, randomly it seems, to as high as one 125 resting, though averages around 92 to 95. And my blood pressure, though in the 170’s/110’s range, can dip precipitously while the medication seem to have only little effect. Interesting, but nothing seems to fit a diagnosis that I can find. I do my own homework, with my limited knowledge.
Anyway, I tried to get to church yesterday but the buses were running irregularly or the weather was slowing them down so that I did not catch one in a timely manner. I am going to have to figure that out because either their pamphlets are wrong or yesterday and a few other days were just off for them. I did make it to a church related group last night and really enjoyed the company. It will be a weekly thing, and I have a ride set up now. For some reason, I could not get a cab last evening, in spite of trying for over an hour in advance of my hoped 7:00 pm departure time. I really have to get a winter vehicle. Ah, but my savings. Choices, conundrums, and folly, maybe I should just hand the man my wallet and shut up? Ha Ah well, it all works with a little patience and considered thought. I will not be making it to church this day, I just can not do it.
I guess what I am left with is not answers, but questions. What I do with the lack of answers and, often, viable solutions, might well mark whether I have character or not. Thankfully, that will be for another to decide, but it is my task to make that decision easier. So I propose today, tomorrow, and which ever day I am able, I will just get up, do what I can of that which is left to me to do, and keep pushing. I will either push through to function or just push until it is my time to, hopefully, graduate to a place of maturity where my efforts will be truly fruitful. I still have much to be thankful for, and I am, right here and now. I have a place to call home, some friends who dare to disagree and tell me the truth, food to not only eat but also to enjoy, things to tinker with in my play pen, and faith, hope, and charity which I have received and earnestly try to fulfill. Not bad, in the long and short of things.
Wednesday, February 14, 2007
Do we ever grow up?
I have to laugh at myself. Sometimes I can be such a grump. Mornings are worse than other times, but I won't limit myself to that time of day. I can also sit on the pity pot, worry about things that are fiction, still find my big toe a thing of interest and curiosity, and all kinds of nutty things. Now, I enjoy these things, even if they might mean I'm still a kid. But I thought I would grow up someday! I thought growing up meant that my feelings wouldn't be hurt by relatively unimportant things. I thought I'd be used to my body and it would become purely utilitarian, not the sensational, sensitive, interesting thing it seems to be. I thought I'd say something and it would be said correctly and everybody would understand, which also means all the other adults would be just as mature as myself. So, what happened?
Funny thing, I guess, but the fact remains. I don’t believe I will ever fully grow up here. This isn't the place for it any more than the womb was the place for me to get my first college degree. There like here, it's icky and confusing and confining at times. This has been a disturbing and recurring wonderment to me, maturity, it’s definition, and it’s resolution. One which I am finally writing about and exploring.
I must add, I actually love life even more when I view it this way. It means my seemingly lost childhood is only as lost as I choose it to be. Sure, I can be more decisive now, I can be more accurate, and sure of my thinking, and I can iterate or write my thoughts more concisely and clearly then when I was a physical child. But knowing that I am still a child in the whole of truth, I can enjoy my world, I can understand my foibles, and I can manage being wrong at times because I know I am still a child. I also know that there will be a place to mature more fully, though somehow, I don’t think my early perceptions of maturity will be as sterile as I had thought. As well, these considerations allow me to get over myself. Which is precisely why I am writing this evening.
This morning I was put out, upset about the oddest things. I didn't quite have a tantrum, it was more a snit. (I like that word, it's fun and oh so appropriate sometimes) I was, as I see it now, quite wrong and silly. But that is ok too. It is ok to miss the mark. It is ok to be stupid, ignorant, wrong, foolish, and many other things so long as I can recover and put things back into place to begin back on the right path in the correct direction. Not all words can be taken back, not all actions can be undone, but since I share in the right society, forgiveness is handed out like the sweet candy it is. This doesn’t give me a free pass, however, it only is something that I can hope for and ask for, not expect or take for granted. It is a gift, if it flows easily at times. And, as the wisest has indicated, it must be asked for in humility and with true regret. Wisdom and kindness, forgiveness and friendship, these things are gifts. I am only glad I have friends who have these to give, that I know people who share these things. That though I live in a harsh world, men are different and some choose these things rather than the natural order. And, I appreciate their charity. And sometimes, the charity I receive will be for and from me. How odd that seems. My lessons, of course, continue.
Yes, life can be very good. People really are special.
Funny thing, I guess, but the fact remains. I don’t believe I will ever fully grow up here. This isn't the place for it any more than the womb was the place for me to get my first college degree. There like here, it's icky and confusing and confining at times. This has been a disturbing and recurring wonderment to me, maturity, it’s definition, and it’s resolution. One which I am finally writing about and exploring.
I must add, I actually love life even more when I view it this way. It means my seemingly lost childhood is only as lost as I choose it to be. Sure, I can be more decisive now, I can be more accurate, and sure of my thinking, and I can iterate or write my thoughts more concisely and clearly then when I was a physical child. But knowing that I am still a child in the whole of truth, I can enjoy my world, I can understand my foibles, and I can manage being wrong at times because I know I am still a child. I also know that there will be a place to mature more fully, though somehow, I don’t think my early perceptions of maturity will be as sterile as I had thought. As well, these considerations allow me to get over myself. Which is precisely why I am writing this evening.
This morning I was put out, upset about the oddest things. I didn't quite have a tantrum, it was more a snit. (I like that word, it's fun and oh so appropriate sometimes) I was, as I see it now, quite wrong and silly. But that is ok too. It is ok to miss the mark. It is ok to be stupid, ignorant, wrong, foolish, and many other things so long as I can recover and put things back into place to begin back on the right path in the correct direction. Not all words can be taken back, not all actions can be undone, but since I share in the right society, forgiveness is handed out like the sweet candy it is. This doesn’t give me a free pass, however, it only is something that I can hope for and ask for, not expect or take for granted. It is a gift, if it flows easily at times. And, as the wisest has indicated, it must be asked for in humility and with true regret. Wisdom and kindness, forgiveness and friendship, these things are gifts. I am only glad I have friends who have these to give, that I know people who share these things. That though I live in a harsh world, men are different and some choose these things rather than the natural order. And, I appreciate their charity. And sometimes, the charity I receive will be for and from me. How odd that seems. My lessons, of course, continue.
Yes, life can be very good. People really are special.
My foolishness, but I'm working on it.
No snow today, the sun is out and it looks to be a decent day. I'm sure it'll be cold. It always is the day after. No problem, I enjoy the cold compared to summer heat anyway. I forgot to add, yesterday when I started digging out, I found a plate of COOKIES! A neighboring family had left it for me, with a nice drawn and colored note thanking me for being a great neighbor. I guess even grumpy old guys get a little sunshine sometimes. I don't deserve it, but the cookies were a great treat and the note went on the fridge as a reminder of good things.
Now, to my foolishness. I have been perusing other people's blogs and leaving comments as if I should. With lots of time, I can leave lots of comments. After reading along for a while, I jump in and write. I sometimes write things that I probably shouldn't. I am also greatly and often misunderstood. I take a certain part in the blame as I do write off-hand and do not always edit well. Even when I do, my words can be so oddly misunderstand that I don't understand the responses. Given the one dimensional nature of blogging and responding, this should not come as surprise, let alone cause hurt feelings. I don't know anybody, truly. Yet, it ends up doing just that. Of course, it happens just as often in real life. How could we edit our spoken words, rethink what we are saying as we are saying it, or do we assume a relationship is closer than we had thought? How often do we run into diametrically opposed thinking without having a hint we are about to do so? This has caused me to rethink some things.
Should I continue to comment? I'm really torn on that. There is very little I have to offer. Most blogs seem to be focused around a primary commenter circled by people who seem to hold similar ideas as a general rule, with slightly different takes on various issues. Being what I am, I have very little in common with most people as a whole, if parts of our lives may be similar. Currently, I hold no degrees, even if I probably have enough credits for one, so I am not an expert. I am not brilliant nor wise, in some ways I am like a dog. You either like dogs or you don't. If you like them and want them around, you must understand that they will, at times, do things you don't like. But that isn't for me to decide. Perhaps I shouldn't be involved. I will be thinking about this in the next week. This whole thing just helps me understand more clearly how foolish and perhaps sentimental of a man I am. As for suggesting that I get a life, well, why don’t you just tell a paraplegic to take a walk? This is it, for now, with what I have.
On the upside, I have a few more COOKIES. I feel a raid on them, to secure and protect them, is in order.
Now, to my foolishness. I have been perusing other people's blogs and leaving comments as if I should. With lots of time, I can leave lots of comments. After reading along for a while, I jump in and write. I sometimes write things that I probably shouldn't. I am also greatly and often misunderstood. I take a certain part in the blame as I do write off-hand and do not always edit well. Even when I do, my words can be so oddly misunderstand that I don't understand the responses. Given the one dimensional nature of blogging and responding, this should not come as surprise, let alone cause hurt feelings. I don't know anybody, truly. Yet, it ends up doing just that. Of course, it happens just as often in real life. How could we edit our spoken words, rethink what we are saying as we are saying it, or do we assume a relationship is closer than we had thought? How often do we run into diametrically opposed thinking without having a hint we are about to do so? This has caused me to rethink some things.
Should I continue to comment? I'm really torn on that. There is very little I have to offer. Most blogs seem to be focused around a primary commenter circled by people who seem to hold similar ideas as a general rule, with slightly different takes on various issues. Being what I am, I have very little in common with most people as a whole, if parts of our lives may be similar. Currently, I hold no degrees, even if I probably have enough credits for one, so I am not an expert. I am not brilliant nor wise, in some ways I am like a dog. You either like dogs or you don't. If you like them and want them around, you must understand that they will, at times, do things you don't like. But that isn't for me to decide. Perhaps I shouldn't be involved. I will be thinking about this in the next week. This whole thing just helps me understand more clearly how foolish and perhaps sentimental of a man I am. As for suggesting that I get a life, well, why don’t you just tell a paraplegic to take a walk? This is it, for now, with what I have.
On the upside, I have a few more COOKIES. I feel a raid on them, to secure and protect them, is in order.
Tuesday, February 13, 2007
It's snowing again. (so I can just ramble)
I don't know how much we got, I just know my monster snow blower acted like it was choking. I had to shift down in a couple of places and go over a few other areas twice. No problem, it's fun! It has 6 forward speeds, 2 reverses, an electric starter (which I never use), and looks aggressive. Since I have no where to go and nothing to do if I got somewhere, I can just enjoy the snow and play with the snow blower. Heck, I even do the neighbors drive and sidewalks if it needs it. Funny, for as bad of shape as I'm supposed to be in, I can shovel or use the machine for... well, till it's done, without a problem. (I have a 30 ft double drive with about that much distance of a wide sidewalk in two directions, sometimes I shovel (means I forgot to get gas, ha).)
Since ending my blood pressure medication, life is starting to improve. I haven't made it to daily Mass yet, but I am thinking tomorrow (using mass transit) it should happen. The great thing about daily Mass is that I feel like I'm making up for the times I really can't function to go to church. I would go anyway, that's just a perk. Going on a visit to God's house on a daily basis sets things right and lends perspective to the rest of what I see and hear. It brings no small peace and lends to certainty, a surety of character in the great confusion that is life.
To make life smoother and control the input I receive, I've made some changes in my life. I've dropped television. I preview movies, harshly, before considering them as possible entertainment. Yes, ok, Jane Fonda does not find her way to my tube, nor do many of the others, it's not just content. My books are all Christian, history, math and science, classic reads, or combinations of those. Only my music remains somewhat dubious, with Monster Magnet being a favorite, along with Motorhead, Metallica, AC/DC (my first rock, I had to buy it on the sly and smuggle it to my mini domain in my earliest teens), though I also enjoy Meatloaf's newest (sent from a very good friend, and being enjoyed greatly) Marlene Dietrich, Bonne Raitt (crazy liberal, but aren't they all, but gorgeous and a golden voice), Connie Francis, George Strait, Garth Brooks, Bjork, Cohen, and even Astrud Gilberto, many classic and baroque recordings, and probably a thousand more off and on favorites. So I am not quite free of some bad influences and I've gone as far as I probably will for now with that. ("I'm still alive" is playing in the background)
A fellow blogger brought up an issue that hits home, in an article titled American Culture: Pejorative to Character. The idea that we, Americans, buy way too many useless or frivolous items. I must protest! I NEED all these stupid things! Oh, alright, he is right. It certainly hit a nerve, but in the right way. And yes, I'm doing something about that too. For years, I didn't think I'd be alive tomorrow, literally. Well, tomorrow seems to have come and gone and there is some historic context which indicates it might do so again for a while. Therefore, I have started a savings plan. Why I am saving I am still unsure. Maybe when I am 70 I can buy a car? HA No, I should be able to buy two by then;) Truly, I am unsure. Though I would like to buy a house... someday. Here in Iowa, in the right town (most of them), I could outright buy an excellent starter house with two years of my savings (if I keep my hand out of the kitty) and still live decently with a few new toys occasionally and my weekly steak and regular good eats while saving. I wonder if that is some of the problem with other savers... motive. I know training was lacking in my case as well. I was raised by a single mother who understood money... you spend it. Ackh . I love here but she shouldn't be near a nickel. Of course, Mummy isn't my problem. I reject Freud, outright, and in more ways than just this. My Mom got me to 18, alive and well. I'm rather grateful, knowing me as I do. I think the only reason I am able to do this is that I am no longer bombarded by adds. I don't listen to the radio, I don't watch tv , I don't read papers, and I have a pop-up blocker and heavy duty security suite, so I am no longer influenced. Yeah, I think that's the reason we do that. ("Would you listen now if God could talk" in the background... Oh, one more time)
You know, there does seem to be a theme in there, as scattered as it seems. I apologize, this was supposed to be a ramble. Probably geomotry or trig blocking my thought randomizer. Anyway, I've been a good boy and will no go raid your blogs:) Bye, or, see you soon?
Since ending my blood pressure medication, life is starting to improve. I haven't made it to daily Mass yet, but I am thinking tomorrow (using mass transit) it should happen. The great thing about daily Mass is that I feel like I'm making up for the times I really can't function to go to church. I would go anyway, that's just a perk. Going on a visit to God's house on a daily basis sets things right and lends perspective to the rest of what I see and hear. It brings no small peace and lends to certainty, a surety of character in the great confusion that is life.
To make life smoother and control the input I receive, I've made some changes in my life. I've dropped television. I preview movies, harshly, before considering them as possible entertainment. Yes, ok, Jane Fonda does not find her way to my tube, nor do many of the others, it's not just content. My books are all Christian, history, math and science, classic reads, or combinations of those. Only my music remains somewhat dubious, with Monster Magnet being a favorite, along with Motorhead, Metallica, AC/DC (my first rock, I had to buy it on the sly and smuggle it to my mini domain in my earliest teens), though I also enjoy Meatloaf's newest (sent from a very good friend, and being enjoyed greatly) Marlene Dietrich, Bonne Raitt (crazy liberal, but aren't they all, but gorgeous and a golden voice), Connie Francis, George Strait, Garth Brooks, Bjork, Cohen, and even Astrud Gilberto, many classic and baroque recordings, and probably a thousand more off and on favorites. So I am not quite free of some bad influences and I've gone as far as I probably will for now with that. ("I'm still alive" is playing in the background)
A fellow blogger brought up an issue that hits home, in an article titled American Culture: Pejorative to Character. The idea that we, Americans, buy way too many useless or frivolous items. I must protest! I NEED all these stupid things! Oh, alright, he is right. It certainly hit a nerve, but in the right way. And yes, I'm doing something about that too. For years, I didn't think I'd be alive tomorrow, literally. Well, tomorrow seems to have come and gone and there is some historic context which indicates it might do so again for a while. Therefore, I have started a savings plan. Why I am saving I am still unsure. Maybe when I am 70 I can buy a car? HA No, I should be able to buy two by then;) Truly, I am unsure. Though I would like to buy a house... someday. Here in Iowa, in the right town (most of them), I could outright buy an excellent starter house with two years of my savings (if I keep my hand out of the kitty) and still live decently with a few new toys occasionally and my weekly steak and regular good eats while saving. I wonder if that is some of the problem with other savers... motive. I know training was lacking in my case as well. I was raised by a single mother who understood money... you spend it. Ackh . I love here but she shouldn't be near a nickel. Of course, Mummy isn't my problem. I reject Freud, outright, and in more ways than just this. My Mom got me to 18, alive and well. I'm rather grateful, knowing me as I do. I think the only reason I am able to do this is that I am no longer bombarded by adds. I don't listen to the radio, I don't watch tv , I don't read papers, and I have a pop-up blocker and heavy duty security suite, so I am no longer influenced. Yeah, I think that's the reason we do that. ("Would you listen now if God could talk" in the background... Oh, one more time)
You know, there does seem to be a theme in there, as scattered as it seems. I apologize, this was supposed to be a ramble. Probably geomotry or trig blocking my thought randomizer. Anyway, I've been a good boy and will no go raid your blogs:) Bye, or, see you soon?
Sunday, February 11, 2007
All real conservative candidates please raise your right hand. No, no, that's your left!
There seems to be one. Out of all the candidates I have seen so far, none were conservative until now. The Republican party is pulling in almost as lame as the Democratic party, perhaps more so given the intellectual handicap of the left which means the conservatives should know better. Then again, it seems that there isn't a conservative movement in the country politically at this time, except for half or more of the population that is. It seems there may be one conservative in the running.
He doesn't have a great chance. As a fact, Republicans seem to be scattered, weak, and turning to the middle and left rather than working with their supporters and each other, which bodes ill for any single candidate, but more so for one of a truly conservative nature. It is odd. I know when I am lost, tired, vulnerable, weak, hungry, or confused, I go home. For me, this behavior indicates where the Republican party does, or thinks it does, get it's support. Which is fine except it means that our government isn't really ours. Of course, there is some truth to that and it has always been so. Governments are too big to ever be personal, clever enough to be specifically helpful, or wise enough to be sure. So, a good government is a weak, impersonal, somewhat ineffectual one. That being said, logic doesn't always care for emotion. And it won't help a conservative get into office.
Why should a government be weak, small, impersonal, and ineffectual? Because the only way to streamline them is to create a dictatorship or absolute ruling body. Though that seems like a plan to some in that divisiveness and decision making become instant and dedicated and lots of promises are made like free medical care, free education, free housing, free whatever (these do not come to pass, considering value given for product received, if any product is produced at all), the larger and longer problems always outweigh the short term "gains". The long term consequences include, though by no means are limited to; the fact that the decision making is still done by men or groups of men with their inherent foibles, prejudices, and ignorance; the system ends up rigging the financial systems to favor the ruling or their associates, which dampens or eliminates competition, which limits choice and availability of products and services which kills innovation , robust markets, and economic upward mobility. As well, even these governments fall into the ineffectual category once they realign the social and political structures, more so than the one they replaced.
On another issue, I use the terms "left" and "conservative" as it is my firm belief that the "left" and the "right" are essentially the same as they are politically bantered about today. Hitler was said to be on the "right", Stalin on the "left". Hitler WAS to the "right" of Stalin, but only in a minor way in that he didn't nationalize industry (or, as much). The rest is quite similar, such as women's suffrage , national bans on personal firearms, draconian police and intelligence services (police states), indoctrination, genocide, anti-religious attacks (200,000 Catholics "disappeared" during the Russian revolution, not a trace of them in any paperwork or graves even today) with Hitler himself indicating that Stalin and communism where "great" sources for his principles of governance. So, I don't say conservatives are on the right. So, though I believe there is a left and right in politics, for the news industry, academics, and other pop "great thinkers" of our time, the spectrum is between Hitler and Stalin, not between freedom and totalitarianism.
Back to the issue. I truly hope Senator Brownback is able to at least be allowed into the debates, though I am not holding my breath. I am hoping if this happens, he might go on to win the nomination, though I have my doubts. And it would be great if he could actually win the election, but that just isn't possible, probably. I might have to send some money, if I see his campaign making inroads. But I think this next election is sown up. Beyond that, I don't think a president has as much power as people think. I also don't believe a complete and true conservative government makes that much change, despite those who say President Bush and the Republican Congress wasn't conservative, the facts are that it was, if a milquetoast variety.
He doesn't have a great chance. As a fact, Republicans seem to be scattered, weak, and turning to the middle and left rather than working with their supporters and each other, which bodes ill for any single candidate, but more so for one of a truly conservative nature. It is odd. I know when I am lost, tired, vulnerable, weak, hungry, or confused, I go home. For me, this behavior indicates where the Republican party does, or thinks it does, get it's support. Which is fine except it means that our government isn't really ours. Of course, there is some truth to that and it has always been so. Governments are too big to ever be personal, clever enough to be specifically helpful, or wise enough to be sure. So, a good government is a weak, impersonal, somewhat ineffectual one. That being said, logic doesn't always care for emotion. And it won't help a conservative get into office.
Why should a government be weak, small, impersonal, and ineffectual? Because the only way to streamline them is to create a dictatorship or absolute ruling body. Though that seems like a plan to some in that divisiveness and decision making become instant and dedicated and lots of promises are made like free medical care, free education, free housing, free whatever (these do not come to pass, considering value given for product received, if any product is produced at all), the larger and longer problems always outweigh the short term "gains". The long term consequences include, though by no means are limited to; the fact that the decision making is still done by men or groups of men with their inherent foibles, prejudices, and ignorance; the system ends up rigging the financial systems to favor the ruling or their associates, which dampens or eliminates competition, which limits choice and availability of products and services which kills innovation , robust markets, and economic upward mobility. As well, even these governments fall into the ineffectual category once they realign the social and political structures, more so than the one they replaced.
On another issue, I use the terms "left" and "conservative" as it is my firm belief that the "left" and the "right" are essentially the same as they are politically bantered about today. Hitler was said to be on the "right", Stalin on the "left". Hitler WAS to the "right" of Stalin, but only in a minor way in that he didn't nationalize industry (or, as much). The rest is quite similar, such as women's suffrage , national bans on personal firearms, draconian police and intelligence services (police states), indoctrination, genocide, anti-religious attacks (200,000 Catholics "disappeared" during the Russian revolution, not a trace of them in any paperwork or graves even today) with Hitler himself indicating that Stalin and communism where "great" sources for his principles of governance. So, I don't say conservatives are on the right. So, though I believe there is a left and right in politics, for the news industry, academics, and other pop "great thinkers" of our time, the spectrum is between Hitler and Stalin, not between freedom and totalitarianism.
Back to the issue. I truly hope Senator Brownback is able to at least be allowed into the debates, though I am not holding my breath. I am hoping if this happens, he might go on to win the nomination, though I have my doubts. And it would be great if he could actually win the election, but that just isn't possible, probably. I might have to send some money, if I see his campaign making inroads. But I think this next election is sown up. Beyond that, I don't think a president has as much power as people think. I also don't believe a complete and true conservative government makes that much change, despite those who say President Bush and the Republican Congress wasn't conservative, the facts are that it was, if a milquetoast variety.
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