Almost ouch?

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It hurts, freshly.  The last vestiges of pain from the most recent sleep injury?  The pinched collar bone area is down to just the last bit of pain.  Fresh, hard, but not large enough of an area to really make it too much of a thing.  Still, It's there.

Up very late, nearly 14:00.  The game ate me.  But, things were finally making sense, which gave me direction and function in the game.  I stored  the right things in order to do a lot on that.  Running out of stores.  Will have to go hunting for those resources, and... figure some other things out.  On the good side, the things I sorted have opened up a few other areas.

Way late.

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So be it.  I was gaming.  However, finally, I found methods for actually improving the bottlenecks.  I still feel like I am hunting for a needle in a haystack.  But it's better than looking for a needle when I couldn't find a needlestack within which to search.  Not bad.  And, on several items.

Even so, it's a serious drag.  And I don't know... how to do the main missions.  The hints, or suggestions, are useless.  So, currently, I am just improving what I can improve.  I'll get back to that in time.  May have to look them up.

The inner bits of the turkey were good.

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This, that, get to it.  Warmed in the nuke just a bit.  Not great, not much, but... it worked.  That and some fatted coffee.  Two hours after, a blood check.  At 139, given the heavy meal yesterday... to include two desserts, that really isn't bad.

Tired, worn, achy.  Medicine going in.  No painkillers, this time.  It's just not... bad enough.  Maybe altogether, everywhere, I could say it was.  But, it's nearing bedtime.  And, I think I can get on to sleep through what hurts.  If it feels like this tomorrow, I will take painpills.  Hoping to start not having to do so.  Then again, I have cut usage between half and quarter what I had been that first week of absolute carnivore.  Bits and pieces at a time.

The turkey was a bit better.

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The problem?  I think I overcooked it.  The remaining drumstick was good.  Of the two remaining thighs, I found that warming one of them, and digging down past the... tanned parts, including several layers of meat, nearer the bone it was still moist enough to be tasty.  But most of it wasn't very good.

I haven't eaten all that much, having said that.  I might warm the last of the thighs, tear down through what is inedible, and get a final small meal.  All that remains that is good is about what you'd get on two smaller drumsticks.  But... it is good enough.  Yeah.

Awake, late.

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Fair enough, I keep pushing.  Games, food, driving, etc.  Up at 11:30.  Down?  Two?  Three?  I can't be sure.

Blood sugar is 166 fasting.  I... expected it to be in the 230 range.  Especially after eating last night.  Okay.  Not perfect, but better than hoped.  We'll see in the next few days though.  Sometimes it doesn't crest for a while.

I did roast the turkey.

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As well as the yam.  The acorn squash hasn't been done yet.  I tasted it.  Hmm, not so good.  It was done.  Not overdone.  But the turkey just didn't taste all that well.  It was fresh.  I brined it.  I just don't know what... I did wrong.  Or... maybe... the turkey just wasn't fed well?  I don't know.

I'll consume it.  Letting the rest of it cool, then will put it up.  Stripping meat off the bone tomorrow.  I have eaten what of the yam I will.  Those, even if lower carb, are pushing things and, what with today, is enough.  Oh well.

Ah, she answered.

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I always get a bit unnerved, if I can't get in touch with my mother.  Her phone, something off with it, or has been.  Sure.  But... if I can't reach her, she usually calls me.  Though... she is getting along.  Life is difficult that way.  Memory, and such.  And... just being tired.  I understand, probably far closer than one my age should.  But it's still not the same.

Even so, I... wanted to talk to her.  And, finally, did.  Her friend helped, worked on her phone today.  And it seems to have worked.  For now.  I still think someone in the home, a grumpy gus or gal, who knows what they are doing, and doesn't like calls, or my mother particularly, does it.

An invite.

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I was... tinkering, on the game.  Not sure.  I was almost sure it was Thanksgiving day, but...  Well?  Day and dates and stuff have never been a part of my world.  Live, eat, drink, die.  The... things... birthdays, Christmas even, and such?  I... am not devoid of devotion.  Simply, my systems don't understand these things.

So, when I got a call, I thought it might be... someone... about the day?  It was.

Up a bit earlier.

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Not down until midnight?  Yea.  Got stuck in the game.  Up at nine thirty.  Will do better, I think, today.

Feeling better.  Rolled better, or something.  Blood sugar is a bit higher, at 142 fasting?  My guess?  Eating all through the day.  Not a lot.  Four eggs, fatted coffee, tonic vinegar, more eggs, another coffee, and a couple of fatted bone broths in there.  I was... strangely hungry.  But unable to cook.

A good day, evening.

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Everything is improving.  BP and pulse?  I haven't taken them, but by feel, yes... improved.  I was pretty sure the same about blood sugar, but couldn't help from checking again.  It was 119.  Not perfect, but... trending better.  Could I really feel an improvement?  Between that and the bp?  Maybe.

Either way, I did feel better.  And the day was easier.  I was still recovering, from all else the day before.  Life is better.  Somehow.

Alright, but...?

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I finally decided enough time has passed.  After eating.  Four boiled eggs, coffee with cream, if half what I was drinking once, and water other than that.  Time to check blood sugar.  It is 132.  That is eight less than fasting.  But, so very high?  Now, I think my system is... extremely wanting carbs.  Even to the point of using fake non-carbs... that feel/taste/look like carbs as carbs to the point of maintaining diabetes without the presence of carbs/sugars/such.

So... could it be holding onto the remnants of those apples?  This far along?  Maybe.  I mean, 138, 132?  Those aren't horrible.  But they aren't 80 to 100.  And it was getting to the normal range.  Really, apples, two?  Smaller, even, not large apples.  Though, perhaps, the bacon was part of it?  Not sure.  Had them the day before.  Didn't bother blood sugar.  But... maybe it had to build up, or the apples trip-fucked the system to become more sensitive?

A good sign.

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I was beginning to worry.  About bp.  I took medication when I woke up.  I added more.  Not even half of what I had been on, but double what I was taking... if that... tells you anything?  But, of just one medicine, too.  Not the four I was taking.

Then, I started gaming.  I felt something... shift.  A bit frighteningly, to be honest.  So I checked blood pressure.  It is 122/88, with a pulse of 85.  Was that was shifted, down?  I suspect so.  Good, good, I had been worrying.  This evening, with this read, I will only take half what I took this morning.  Not sure how to approach this though.

Finally.

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To be fair, I got stuck in the game until pushing one.  I didn't hear the alarm, at five.  Started coming to around nine.  Just finally woke up around 11:30.  Neck and shoulders are completely out of sorts.  A headache to go with it.  Medicine and painpills first thing.

Blood sugar is up, a bit, at 138 fasting.  Ugh.  Not... horrible, but not as low as it has been.  Still, when I have gone rather clean for a while, a cheat can throw things for days.  Apples?  Just two apples?  Okay.  Though, I do wonder about the bacon.  No more bacon for a while.  I just... need to see if that is what is messing with blood pressure and maybe blood sugar too.

It feels like someone pinched my collar bone area, on the right side.  Pinched.  And did it so long that the whole side over there hurts from it.

Today?  I'd like to get a shower, when I can.  Probably have a few eggs right first thing.  Boiled.  So easy.  Needs extra salt, but... it wasn't cooked with any, so that's fine.  Then set up dishes.  Some hope of getting to town?  I'd like to get some things, for Thanksgiving dinner.  Not sure the sweetener I ordered will arrive in time.

Sweetener?  Sure, will be trying some things.  But... only for holidays.  I have given up on sweeteners as even a few times a week thing.  I... my body just doesn't play nice with those things.  But, for a holiday?  Sure.  Then again, I can make the cranberry sauce and have it with leftovers.  That, for me, has been as much Thanksgiving as the meal day.  

With larger families, it was a very short extra feast.  With smaller people groups, it has been a drudge of a thing sometimes.  But, as they have said for eons beyond counting?  May this, too, in time, become a fond memory.  And... so it has.  Both variations.  I'll... say a little prayer for the many people I have intimately dined with on the day... friends, family, enemies, and else.  For I think an angel, or two, has sat at my table... sometimes as hosts, sometimes guests.  Though worse too.  All were welcome, for a moment.

Not sure if I will make it all, in time.  But I should have a fairly pleasant group of meals, and... within... a few days of the official day.  May you as well.

A shower, dishes, some cooking, shopping?  Maybe laundry, upstairs.  Or... if the pain has me pinned, a few of those things and gaming.  Ouch.  Prayers your way, and kind thoughts.  Enjoy your family.  May they accept you.  Amen.

thanks, Chief

Stats... are troubling.

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Blood sugar is good, really good.  Back to very nice again, at 113, an hour or two after my big supper.  BP?  Not... so good.  The first one was 176/96, with a pulse of 63?  The second one was 156/86, with the same pulse.  What's... going on.  Bacon?  I don't know.  I am going to not have bacon for the next week.  I'll see from there.  I just don't know.  I can probably get it to lower, a bit, but... two shots is usually what I give it.  And, maybe, an arm change... which I did.

Though... maybe the cuff is out of sorts?  It is really old.  Might check the battery too.  I think this cuff is... nearly twenty years old?  It doesn't even have memory, so I have to be careful when checking.  Ugh.

Could it merely be from being out yesterday?  The stress of dealing with the doctor?  This, and that?  On top of bacon?  Is there... something else?  I just don't know.  I'll figure it out though.  So, for now, a bit more medicine.  Ugh.  Starting tomorrow.  If blood sugar stays good, I'll... manage the bp however, whatever it takes.  Hmm...

A few final things with the game, then on to bed.  Goodnight.

Gaming.

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I don't know.  This game is deep.  Really, really, deep.  And it doesn't ever really seem to level off.  Just keeping up is a trick, but no... that... you'll never keep up.  So far, out of sheer luck from what I can tell, I haven't failed to put together fuel, or parts, to do various things.

Basically it is a space exploring and combat sim type of thing.  Only, you have to mine for fuels.  But... it... takes two or three types of fuels.  On top of fuels, you need to keep yourself alive, with oxygen top offs, electrical (and/or other) life support needs, and else.  It's... a hot mess.

Late.

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I was to bed reasonably early, 20:00 or so, 21:00 at the latest?  I heard the alarm, at five.  Wrestled with it a few times before realizing it just wasn't going to happen.  Turning it off in frustrated understanding.  Slept cold.  Couldn't get warm.  Slept mostly well?  Peed a lot though, through the night.  May have filled the three liter, or at least two liters.

Couldn't get out until nine.  Even then, it was all I could do.  Standing, I had no balance and almost fell.  Just my feet?  Not sure.  I am still in recovery and yesterday was a heck of a tug.  While I felt good through it, didn't struggle staying awake on the drive home or such, it did use up everything I had.

Half the steak.

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That's all I could eat.  To be honest?  It was okay, but... strange.  I prefer the steaks I get more locally.  It won't go to waste, but it... wasn't... my best?  Or it wasn't the best?  I did use Redman's salt.  That can be different.  As well, I baked it a while, which I don't usually do.  Dunno, wasn't as happy with it as I hoped.

Having coffee while at it.  I didn't have any coffee all day.  Just water.

A long day out.

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First to my second bank.  A minor withdrawal and a readjustment to how much I pull from my main account.  Took forever!  Computer problems and new teller.  No... big deal.  But got it done.  Then, to put the withdrawal into my main account.  Their... computer was inoperable, or their system.  Gave me a written, essentially, iou?  Yes.  I hope I don't lose it.  Just checked... it... is in.  Goody.

No, things happen.  I wasn't worried about the time or trouble.  I started out well early so as not to have problems.  I was worried about wearying too much, later in the day.  But... I would deal with that was required.

Good Monday morning!?!

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Morning read is 133/85 pulse of 88.  Fasting blood sugar is 100, weekly average is 137, biweekly is 150.  I only have 18 reads, so not enough to start on the monthly averages.  Wow.  Nice.  After the second dose of bacon, I checked my bp last night.  It worried me just a wee.  It was 168/92, with a pulse like 88?  Something.  I didn't track it, because I just do morning checks these days.  I just... wondered.  Was it the bacon?  I think so.  The salt in the bacon, or other stuff though?  Eating the bacon made me wonder.  I will do it the next time I eat bacon as well.  And other really salty foods... out of curiosity.  If bacon and salty food does elevate, I'll... reserve it for special occasions, or see if eating less is good enough.

Seeing it back down, to a good number, and that before medication, eases my mind.  No on to medication and minerals.  And painkillers.  My neck still hurts.  I think I tended it better, through the night.  But when you put a kink in a thing, over several nights, it doesn't just un-kink in one night.  Mine don't.

Still a bit cranky.

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Not mood... body.  Mostly the neck.  Still, or restarted, sprinkling out there.  Amazing that it is staying above freezing.  The Atlantic weather thing.  El Nina?  I think.  It's the girl one, right?  And, supposedly, a super one.  Well, it's definitely sending warmer weather in.  If just above freezing isn't truly warm, it's just... warmer.  The difference between freezing and wet is just a few degrees.

I did start laundry.  Hmm, I was going to go to bed, but... no.  I want that dry.  And, some of it is heavy.  It'll take a few shots through the machine to dry.

A nap.

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Those things can be loverly.  I was worried about oversleeping.  But, when waking was a bit confused, thinking it was at night... and that I was trying to stay asleep longer.  Nope!  Luckily I realized it was just a nap, checked the time, and realized it was just the right time to get up... or how I count naps.

A wonderful nap.  I warmed up, while sleeping.  Dreamed of women, I think.  Oh, but whatever has improved with my health?  It... has improved... in... many ways.  My worries about some things no longer remain.  And, my guess, will only get better.  Children won't be a problem, from my side of things.

A bit off today.

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Food was good, helped?  I think so.  However, I'm still running way behind.  Just dragging.  The cold spit of rain this morning didn't help.  And, that it has been dark and cool up to at least now doesn't help.  Just... one of those days.  Even so, it is a better day than it has been.  How good a bad day that it is far better than usual?  I do have to chuckle.  I'm... even well enough to notice the downtick.  There is some gallows humor in there, deep, dark, dank.  Noice!

I just checked blood sugar.  Always worried that it might jump up, for seemingly no reason.  I have had a fatted coffee, four boiled eggs, and about four slices of bacon, at the most.  Still, I do worry about bacon.  Regardless of what the ingredient list is.  They can change that, without notice.  And I have doubts if they have to list (or all) actual ingredients.

Couldn't make it.

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Noon was the goal.  But not today.  And... most likely... for reasonable causes.  Food, that is.  I was starting to feel really rough.  Everything I did was difficult.  The cold water earlier didn't help, but that wasn't all of it.  No, my body needed food.

While you can starve, if in decent health, for days, weeks, even up to a couple of months?  You will suffer.  Even if you have fats, taking that out of storage must not be an easy, or efficient, thing.  Nor does the body really want to do that.  Much as you don't want to go through your house, and get rid of what you aren't using?  I'm thinking the ideas are linked in some way.

Not quite a start?

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But... a start, in truth.  Just not a working start.  First, as waking, I have been reviewing the game I downloaded last night, and the other game I was thinking about.  Just... gaming tips, and such.  Eyes are bleary.  Dry eyes, for various reasons, including that I am retaining less fluid.

As I was checking on the second game, that I hadn't downloaded/bought, one of the things I wanted to see was price.  I checked on amazon, then on the ps5 store.  Oh, looks like I already have the game.  It may have been a freebie, one I added to my collection, but never downloaded.  Was probably in a game I liked, at the time.  So, while looking on other things, online, I went ahead and downloaded that game too.  That was... easier... and cheaper... than anticipated.

No way?

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I keep being surprised.  I didn't eat a lot, yesterday.  But I did have half a steak earlier, then four eggs later.  It was around bedtime when I had the eggs.  I thought they might interfere with blood sugar numbers this morning.  But that is 102 fasting.  Very nice.  Even so, from now on, I will try to eat in a smaller window, say six or eight hours.

I don't care if I eat early, or later, as long as it is consistent.  I'm really thinking later is better.  That gives me time to plan, and makes it easier to go without if I am only eating once?  Yea.  If I eat early, I almost always want to eat something later... needed or not.  So... noon?  Noon or later, finished by 18:00.  That... would work.  Then again, I think that is about what it was yesterday?  But on the fringes of that?  Or so.