.
.
Up at 7:00, give or take. It was a slow morning, or slower than usual. A little less than the usual less than qualifier could somehow be administered to the morning, if you follow my thought. And yet it all worked. Not ready today as yesterday, I did not arrive at my friend's place until nearly 14:00. A bit of food and a movie, "300". He had not seen it before. He did enjoy it, though he could not hear it well. Beside some of the British type accents, he keeps his volume down so as to not disturb the neighbors. If it was every day, I could understand, but once in a while I do not think they would mind. Still, his place, his choice.
I invited my friend to dinner Sunday. If nothing else, this is reason to get my kitchen squared away and keep my home kempt. As I was driving home, I remembered I had long ago suggested he invite his friend, a man I have not met, to dine with us. Though I warned him to advise his friend that they will be here the whole time the meal is cooking, but that there will be movies to watch. There is something about sharing food and company that pleases me. I think my friend will enjoy the time better with someone who is not busy cooking to keep him company. And I think I can make it so that he can hear the shows here.
Earlier, around noon, I called my mother. She is home from her visit to my brother. She is thinking about the future. Whether she was a good mother could be argued, but that her only two sons both invite her in says something. She has people where she is who depend on her greatly, for company, for her work, and for her time. In particular an elderly woman who is blind from diabetes, is on three times a week dialysis, and would otherwise not be attended properly. This woman also happens to have been a dear friend of my mothers long before she fell so low. As well, I know my mother's boyfriend plays on her mind. Though they will never marry, and I doubt if my mother will again in any case, it is more than just a contrivance or convenience. So until these things find their way to something other than the way they are now, she is where she will be.
I am glad to know she has a place, there, where she is needed and wanted. I am also pleased to know she has choices beyond that. I worry, as she ages, as does any child of an aging parent. She has time to consider the options, and I think she is considering splitting her time between here and what my brother is offering. It is certainly warmer there in the winter. I think, in the end, it will come down to the weather and where she feels most comfortable. She fears both, and with good reason. She cannot craft me and I will not budge, if too I do not push on most issues. When near my brother, she would have her own place. But that would be a bit lonely. It is difficult to make new friends at any age, but when mobility becomes an issue, that is compounded. Choices... We all face them. At least she has earned the right to make them, with both of her boys offering what we can and a world there where she is that still needs her.
I did start doing pushups and setups. I will leave off the details, mostly because they are embarrassing. I thought I would be able to get three sessions in a day and be able to do many each time. I was deluded. So I will start where I did and go on from there. No doubt, I still have some serious aspects of strength. A frigid, non-direct type. My grip strength, for whatever reason, is amazing. My stomach can take a punch that would kill most men. And I do angles with my lank like a tactician. Beyond that and I am done. I hope this brings change. One thing I will do, though, tomorrow and from then on, is do as many setups as I can at once. I tried to save off for later, but later was impossible. Pushups the same, though I can do those later. At least for now. When I am better off I will begin trying sets of setups later as well. *sigh*
Good night. Sleep well. Dream good dreams. And remember to send your love to someone else, even if in thought, before you rest your weary bones.
Thursday, December 16, 2010
For all the griping, wailing, and gnashing of teeth...
.
.
I actually think, to date, America is still whole and functioning, mostly. Read the news, pundits from both sides, and lamentations that America is "over" as a country... any generation we have existed. Oh, some people hope for it and always have and some people see it and it has not been true. We have gone through seriouser shit, to put it colloquially, a hundred times or more. FDR was more socialist, perhaps even directly communist, the Democrat party has been socialist since before even him I think, the powers have been garnered too heavily by one of the three federal sources of it from time to time, we have seen wars and heard rumors of war many times and even against ourselves, these are not new.
Sure, I would like to see a better balance and a more purely conservative bent to the government. Yes, I would love to see an end to politically correct choices of politicians. Of course, I would like to see an end to legal genocide. The list goes on, and will until I die even if I got my current wishlist filled. But this nation and how it works is not yet compromised. Though I will suggest that when that happens, and it will someday, we will not actually know it for some time. The people may not realize it for a hundred years, at least the meek among us. Though I suspect some will know far sooner than others. And I do see that we are on the brink. I hope we turn that corner, again, and return to the original experiment, abandoning the last half to three quarters of a century of failed even more progressive (on into regressive) policies and ways.
If we continue this original experiment, I do believe America might be more than just a fluke. Though I do not buy the going theories on evolution, I do believe there are forms of evolution. Some of those forms have nothing to do with physical characteristics but move on into the social, economic, and governmental. Until a basis of tenable sharing of power exists between the people as individuals and as a whole in parts and overall, occurs in a sustainable fashion, man cannot go forward. This nation, even in the current wounded state, is the best reasonable short term potential for that. All other governmental platforms for advancement are centuries, perhaps millenia away. Men may not have millenia, the earth could simply cease to exist at any moment from one of a thousand events, manmade or God devised. And, of course, this is a secular notion. If, and I do admit that, both God and men play a role in what will be, if too only God knows and what God has set in motion will trump the rest.
Just... some thoughts. The End is near! The End is... far? Could be. As Christ said, keep your socks packed and be ready. Just, do not worry about it. Individually or in sum total, it will happen eventually. Good (dooms) day!*
*Not my birthday
.
I actually think, to date, America is still whole and functioning, mostly. Read the news, pundits from both sides, and lamentations that America is "over" as a country... any generation we have existed. Oh, some people hope for it and always have and some people see it and it has not been true. We have gone through seriouser shit, to put it colloquially, a hundred times or more. FDR was more socialist, perhaps even directly communist, the Democrat party has been socialist since before even him I think, the powers have been garnered too heavily by one of the three federal sources of it from time to time, we have seen wars and heard rumors of war many times and even against ourselves, these are not new.
Sure, I would like to see a better balance and a more purely conservative bent to the government. Yes, I would love to see an end to politically correct choices of politicians. Of course, I would like to see an end to legal genocide. The list goes on, and will until I die even if I got my current wishlist filled. But this nation and how it works is not yet compromised. Though I will suggest that when that happens, and it will someday, we will not actually know it for some time. The people may not realize it for a hundred years, at least the meek among us. Though I suspect some will know far sooner than others. And I do see that we are on the brink. I hope we turn that corner, again, and return to the original experiment, abandoning the last half to three quarters of a century of failed even more progressive (on into regressive) policies and ways.
If we continue this original experiment, I do believe America might be more than just a fluke. Though I do not buy the going theories on evolution, I do believe there are forms of evolution. Some of those forms have nothing to do with physical characteristics but move on into the social, economic, and governmental. Until a basis of tenable sharing of power exists between the people as individuals and as a whole in parts and overall, occurs in a sustainable fashion, man cannot go forward. This nation, even in the current wounded state, is the best reasonable short term potential for that. All other governmental platforms for advancement are centuries, perhaps millenia away. Men may not have millenia, the earth could simply cease to exist at any moment from one of a thousand events, manmade or God devised. And, of course, this is a secular notion. If, and I do admit that, both God and men play a role in what will be, if too only God knows and what God has set in motion will trump the rest.
Just... some thoughts. The End is near! The End is... far? Could be. As Christ said, keep your socks packed and be ready. Just, do not worry about it. Individually or in sum total, it will happen eventually. Good (dooms) day!*
*Not my birthday
Goody Goody
.
.
Awake earlier this morning. It is not too tight if sleep was short, at least at this time. I actually think I might make it back to a 6:00 wakeup. I feel something might have changed. Then again, the double amputee often feels he really could walk because he senses things below the cutoff points. It's more difficult, some days, to know for sure because I still have my legs, I simply lose the connection with the resources in my mind that allow most folks to simply function. Though I do not land flat on my face when trying, I often end up flat on my back. But... not today.
Sassy, for whatever reason, is sometimes a major pain in the mornings, among other places:) She wants me to be up and moving. It might be food, but not always. She had food left in her bowl from last night and did not even drink the bit of milk I put out for her. No, she just thought the big lug would be fun to terrorize. I still sometimes think I am just a giant mouse to them. I am at least an amusement for these high ladies of feline fashion, crime, and intrigue. With Sam, I just have to say "No!" sometimes, Sassy is easy (unless I am asleep). A wadded piece of paper, held aloft just long enough to get her attention then thrown, and her attention span is finished. She does not have BAMM (blond at any moment) Syndrome, she has more like BODS (blond on demand syndrome). Well, maybe she has a bit of both. I do not care what you think about blond jokes, have you met one? Seriously? Chipper indeed. I hear it might actually have to do with the flood of melatonin caused by the percentage increase of light brought to the eyes by the hair reflecting it to them rather than absorbing the light. Just in case you thought it was just a fiction... it has been studied, for what that is worth.
It is time to begin waking, and tinkering, touring the intertubz, news nodes, and such. I will be heading to town, again, around noon or 13:00 or whenever. What movie to take though? I do not want to rent. I will be thinking on it. Good day.
.
Awake earlier this morning. It is not too tight if sleep was short, at least at this time. I actually think I might make it back to a 6:00 wakeup. I feel something might have changed. Then again, the double amputee often feels he really could walk because he senses things below the cutoff points. It's more difficult, some days, to know for sure because I still have my legs, I simply lose the connection with the resources in my mind that allow most folks to simply function. Though I do not land flat on my face when trying, I often end up flat on my back. But... not today.
Sassy, for whatever reason, is sometimes a major pain in the mornings, among other places:) She wants me to be up and moving. It might be food, but not always. She had food left in her bowl from last night and did not even drink the bit of milk I put out for her. No, she just thought the big lug would be fun to terrorize. I still sometimes think I am just a giant mouse to them. I am at least an amusement for these high ladies of feline fashion, crime, and intrigue. With Sam, I just have to say "No!" sometimes, Sassy is easy (unless I am asleep). A wadded piece of paper, held aloft just long enough to get her attention then thrown, and her attention span is finished. She does not have BAMM (blond at any moment) Syndrome, she has more like BODS (blond on demand syndrome). Well, maybe she has a bit of both. I do not care what you think about blond jokes, have you met one? Seriously? Chipper indeed. I hear it might actually have to do with the flood of melatonin caused by the percentage increase of light brought to the eyes by the hair reflecting it to them rather than absorbing the light. Just in case you thought it was just a fiction... it has been studied, for what that is worth.
It is time to begin waking, and tinkering, touring the intertubz, news nodes, and such. I will be heading to town, again, around noon or 13:00 or whenever. What movie to take though? I do not want to rent. I will be thinking on it. Good day.
Up late, again, again? Yep.
.
.
I was up and at it fairly reasonably this morning, and I did wake up, and I was ready before I had thought I would be. I called my friend at 12:30, ready to go. No answer. I did not want to go in and not be able to find him, so I kept tinkering. At 13:30 I called again. No answer, so I waited. At 15:00 I called again, and... no answer. So, I drove into town and knocked on his door. No answer. I suspected, that with as many appointments as he had today, one of the doctors saw a problem and put the fixing on him. Sure enough that is precisely what happened. He needed two more units of blood (along with two units of saline). Further, he has to go back in Friday for two more units (of each).
When he called, we talked a bit. I offered to come back in but he was pretty worn out. That process is mind dulling, I was in with him when they put in four units (of each). Plus, I think it wears him out beyond just the drag of the thing. New blood, and volume, does things. I suggested I visit tomorrow afternoon, a thing he thought would be swell. I will take a movie in. As well, I suggested I pick him up for Sunday dinner, pork roast, but cooked the old fashioned way. He thought that sounded great, if he does not like the idea of being here the whole time it takes to cook. Still, Sunday dinner is on.
How am I able to plan things with him and not make other appointments? The main thing is, he does not mind too terribly if I am one to three hours late. At the outer edges, he can become a bit testy. And, if I call and cancel, at least if it is timely (within that time frame), he is okay with it. That last makes him not so much testy as disappointed. It is easier to deal with people's anger than their disappointment, but sometimes I have no option.
I need to get to bed. So good night, sleep well. May the sands of time not dull the joys you knew in your youth. Remember them tonight. Want to meet at the old pond only kids could love in our dreams? Bring your dog, I will bring mine, and the other kids from my block. Someone's mom will make a picnic for after the swim! See ya there.
.
I was up and at it fairly reasonably this morning, and I did wake up, and I was ready before I had thought I would be. I called my friend at 12:30, ready to go. No answer. I did not want to go in and not be able to find him, so I kept tinkering. At 13:30 I called again. No answer, so I waited. At 15:00 I called again, and... no answer. So, I drove into town and knocked on his door. No answer. I suspected, that with as many appointments as he had today, one of the doctors saw a problem and put the fixing on him. Sure enough that is precisely what happened. He needed two more units of blood (along with two units of saline). Further, he has to go back in Friday for two more units (of each).
When he called, we talked a bit. I offered to come back in but he was pretty worn out. That process is mind dulling, I was in with him when they put in four units (of each). Plus, I think it wears him out beyond just the drag of the thing. New blood, and volume, does things. I suggested I visit tomorrow afternoon, a thing he thought would be swell. I will take a movie in. As well, I suggested I pick him up for Sunday dinner, pork roast, but cooked the old fashioned way. He thought that sounded great, if he does not like the idea of being here the whole time it takes to cook. Still, Sunday dinner is on.
How am I able to plan things with him and not make other appointments? The main thing is, he does not mind too terribly if I am one to three hours late. At the outer edges, he can become a bit testy. And, if I call and cancel, at least if it is timely (within that time frame), he is okay with it. That last makes him not so much testy as disappointed. It is easier to deal with people's anger than their disappointment, but sometimes I have no option.
I need to get to bed. So good night, sleep well. May the sands of time not dull the joys you knew in your youth. Remember them tonight. Want to meet at the old pond only kids could love in our dreams? Bring your dog, I will bring mine, and the other kids from my block. Someone's mom will make a picnic for after the swim! See ya there.
Wednesday, December 15, 2010
Up late, again.
.
.
Bah, I need to get to bed earlier. I get caught up in the "just one... more... thing..."'ism. It makes getting up early tough, impossible to be up at 6:00 though I might make it by 8:00. Still, though I did little today, I have made plans to visit my friend tomorrow, so I have a reason to be up, showered, and about. Actually, beyond just getting out, for me to feel right and ready, I need to do some waking up. That requires some nettime, and that gives me incentive to get up and get what I can get done in the game before I need to head out. Like a little train, the engine moves, then the next car, and so on. Finally, I get my caboose in gear. Well, mostly. My friend is used to me being anywhere from one to three hours 'later than advertised'.
It seems he had eye surgery today, cataracts, the first of two planned surgeries as they do not do both eyes at once. Some sort of failsafe type deal, so people are sure to have two bad eyes at once, if not of the same varietal? Meh, I just like picking on doctors and this is just another opportunity. Anyway, since he is already running about tomorrow, with two early appointments and another run to another doctor for prescription fills, I suggested I just bring a McDonalds lunch and we call it even. And I suspect we will be having another roast soon, though this one will be done the old fashioned slow cooked way. I also asked if he would ask his sister if her son was successful hunting this year. If he got an elk, perhaps they have extra. She had once offered and I never took her up on the deal. Then again, I have been moving and settling so doing anything extra is just that. I will have to consider some kind of gift in return, of course. I may be a beggar and a lech, but... not really.
Anywhile, it is bedtime. Sleep is always sweet when I push it just a bit. It is the waking up that is a pain. Oh, the candle has being burned, rightly I believe, and I have been praying both when light and when putting out the twelve days of Christmas candle. I am not able to do much more, I am a bit confused. I hope it is pleasing to Whom it may matter. Simple thanks given in prayer form. Again, good night.
.
Bah, I need to get to bed earlier. I get caught up in the "just one... more... thing..."'ism. It makes getting up early tough, impossible to be up at 6:00 though I might make it by 8:00. Still, though I did little today, I have made plans to visit my friend tomorrow, so I have a reason to be up, showered, and about. Actually, beyond just getting out, for me to feel right and ready, I need to do some waking up. That requires some nettime, and that gives me incentive to get up and get what I can get done in the game before I need to head out. Like a little train, the engine moves, then the next car, and so on. Finally, I get my caboose in gear. Well, mostly. My friend is used to me being anywhere from one to three hours 'later than advertised'.
It seems he had eye surgery today, cataracts, the first of two planned surgeries as they do not do both eyes at once. Some sort of failsafe type deal, so people are sure to have two bad eyes at once, if not of the same varietal? Meh, I just like picking on doctors and this is just another opportunity. Anyway, since he is already running about tomorrow, with two early appointments and another run to another doctor for prescription fills, I suggested I just bring a McDonalds lunch and we call it even. And I suspect we will be having another roast soon, though this one will be done the old fashioned slow cooked way. I also asked if he would ask his sister if her son was successful hunting this year. If he got an elk, perhaps they have extra. She had once offered and I never took her up on the deal. Then again, I have been moving and settling so doing anything extra is just that. I will have to consider some kind of gift in return, of course. I may be a beggar and a lech, but... not really.
Anywhile, it is bedtime. Sleep is always sweet when I push it just a bit. It is the waking up that is a pain. Oh, the candle has being burned, rightly I believe, and I have been praying both when light and when putting out the twelve days of Christmas candle. I am not able to do much more, I am a bit confused. I hope it is pleasing to Whom it may matter. Simple thanks given in prayer form. Again, good night.
Tuesday, December 14, 2010
Plans.
.
.
One of them I will share. While I am out of the running, in many ways, for much of life, I would like to improve some areas. Just staying awake during the day, on a regular schedule, paying bills, and keeping fed, clean, and ahead of dishes and other such is about it, I would like to begin a new little thing that might end up being what I need for when I need it.
While playing my computer game, two to three times a day I need to have a sub-program run which reads the auction house happenings, which leaves me waiting for eight to fifteen minutes. Now, rather than waste that time, or slow it down and try to do other things either online or in game and kill the fun of whatever else I might be trying to do, I have decided that would be a good time to begin doing setups and pushups. I will not get many done in that time, though as I improve, I can both do them faster and extend the time a bit. These are exercises which simply cannot really be overdone. Just something to add to the otherwise nothing of my current exercise regimen. It might see me in better shape when the time for getting out arrives again.
Oh, such little things. But it is what I have to work with. I will let you know, in time, how it works out. I just thought that if I shared one little possibility scratched from my ether world of seeming nothingness in the hopes of becoming more, even while I am not always sure I really exist or am alive... it might lead to others seeing where they might scratch out a little nothing time to try something. Little hopes which go forward and succeed, I think, are often greater than the greatest and failed aspirations. Right now, of course, all this is is a hope, and a little one at that. But it is better than my plans to dig a well, create a cistern, add solar energy as a primary source of energy, and get married and have children. Great all, but unlikely. This one might make it, sooner rather than a dubious later.
Good day.
.
One of them I will share. While I am out of the running, in many ways, for much of life, I would like to improve some areas. Just staying awake during the day, on a regular schedule, paying bills, and keeping fed, clean, and ahead of dishes and other such is about it, I would like to begin a new little thing that might end up being what I need for when I need it.
While playing my computer game, two to three times a day I need to have a sub-program run which reads the auction house happenings, which leaves me waiting for eight to fifteen minutes. Now, rather than waste that time, or slow it down and try to do other things either online or in game and kill the fun of whatever else I might be trying to do, I have decided that would be a good time to begin doing setups and pushups. I will not get many done in that time, though as I improve, I can both do them faster and extend the time a bit. These are exercises which simply cannot really be overdone. Just something to add to the otherwise nothing of my current exercise regimen. It might see me in better shape when the time for getting out arrives again.
Oh, such little things. But it is what I have to work with. I will let you know, in time, how it works out. I just thought that if I shared one little possibility scratched from my ether world of seeming nothingness in the hopes of becoming more, even while I am not always sure I really exist or am alive... it might lead to others seeing where they might scratch out a little nothing time to try something. Little hopes which go forward and succeed, I think, are often greater than the greatest and failed aspirations. Right now, of course, all this is is a hope, and a little one at that. But it is better than my plans to dig a well, create a cistern, add solar energy as a primary source of energy, and get married and have children. Great all, but unlikely. This one might make it, sooner rather than a dubious later.
Good day.
Today is the day!
.
.
Well, not a good thing if you remember a certain joke of which the title is a punchline, though for a different reason than in the joke. Never... mind... It was not that bad of a joke, it is not out of sorts, and all, but... I will leave it to my and maybe your memory in any case. Same with the juxtaposed conditional humor interplayed between the joke and the fact of the matter about today. I will just say that today is the day my game updates, so is unplayable until well into the afternoon. Bah! Laugh, damn you!
The weather here has been fine, fantastic actually, after a set of storms and a dark beginning of winter which seemed to portent weather mayhem. Most of the snow, down here in the valleys, is gone. The mountains, though, I assure you, are still snowed in and handsomely in the mountain snow way. I have not been watching the weather as, to me, it means nothing. I was amazed to have a week of fantastic weather while my lady friend visited, and I continue to be amazed. Then again, as I remember things, winters here are rather nice compared to Iowa. The sun does shine here, and often. Only the elevation keeps the snow around I think? Or is it the elevation that keeps it mild? Or is it that I am in a valley and surrounded by mountains, or the lack of moisture? Who knows, but I am keen on the winters hereabouts. I think these people, many who think winters here to be foul, would be horrified by Iowa winters. Let it be, I know, and that is good enough.
Sassy is coming along in her maturing. She has not torn through my skin, save by accident or incident relating to Sam, in quite some time. I no longer appear to have been mauled by a mini-lioness. I still bear the scar from the last attempt at bathing her though. Ah well, I will just add it to the numerous scars and battlemarks I will bear to death. At least I thought this one was funny, mostly.
Well, I have become a bit senile in some ways, to the way most tend to think, and being detached from flesh can make even being on fire something to chuckle at, should I be in a certain state of mind. Bah! I really ponder whether I could truly be called a death knight... of sorts. Or an actuated guru, minor (mortal) deity (by being impervious to environment or pain, not in a spiritual context), or like the accidental transcendentalist I have suggested before. If I could just get up, the world would be mine to do with as I please. If that is true, I am glad I cannot get up. Like the one ring and Gandolf, I... dare not. Not even should I set out to do good.
Sam is out, in this better weather, finding mice for the family. Of course, at this point and partly due to the scarcity of mice and the rarity of suitable times to hunt, all she shares is the regurgitated fur of the little beasts. ON MY JUST CLEANED RUG, TOO, I WILL HAVE YOU KNOW! Still, that I know she is having some fun is almost enough. I no longer chastise her for doing what she must, I now know better. Still, I do shut off the bedroom. I do like some places kept clean, safe, and vomit free.
I ought to go do something or other. I still, however, am not up to much. I did well with my lady friend. Between her ideas and mine, her ways and wants and my facilities, I was able to manage a week of care and attention, and without much effort as I have suggested. I did sleep in a few hours each day, but then I was up later doing some of the things I do after she had already gone to sleep. Blogging and minor game tasks which are to be done daily or up to thrice daily are solo tasks and I do not like impinging on the time I have with real people for these things. Mornings are a good time to let people... visitors... have their own personal time as well. Of course I am making this up as I go. But it seems to fit.
Later.
.
Well, not a good thing if you remember a certain joke of which the title is a punchline, though for a different reason than in the joke. Never... mind... It was not that bad of a joke, it is not out of sorts, and all, but... I will leave it to my and maybe your memory in any case. Same with the juxtaposed conditional humor interplayed between the joke and the fact of the matter about today. I will just say that today is the day my game updates, so is unplayable until well into the afternoon. Bah! Laugh, damn you!
The weather here has been fine, fantastic actually, after a set of storms and a dark beginning of winter which seemed to portent weather mayhem. Most of the snow, down here in the valleys, is gone. The mountains, though, I assure you, are still snowed in and handsomely in the mountain snow way. I have not been watching the weather as, to me, it means nothing. I was amazed to have a week of fantastic weather while my lady friend visited, and I continue to be amazed. Then again, as I remember things, winters here are rather nice compared to Iowa. The sun does shine here, and often. Only the elevation keeps the snow around I think? Or is it the elevation that keeps it mild? Or is it that I am in a valley and surrounded by mountains, or the lack of moisture? Who knows, but I am keen on the winters hereabouts. I think these people, many who think winters here to be foul, would be horrified by Iowa winters. Let it be, I know, and that is good enough.
Sassy is coming along in her maturing. She has not torn through my skin, save by accident or incident relating to Sam, in quite some time. I no longer appear to have been mauled by a mini-lioness. I still bear the scar from the last attempt at bathing her though. Ah well, I will just add it to the numerous scars and battlemarks I will bear to death. At least I thought this one was funny, mostly.
Well, I have become a bit senile in some ways, to the way most tend to think, and being detached from flesh can make even being on fire something to chuckle at, should I be in a certain state of mind. Bah! I really ponder whether I could truly be called a death knight... of sorts. Or an actuated guru, minor (mortal) deity (by being impervious to environment or pain, not in a spiritual context), or like the accidental transcendentalist I have suggested before. If I could just get up, the world would be mine to do with as I please. If that is true, I am glad I cannot get up. Like the one ring and Gandolf, I... dare not. Not even should I set out to do good.
Sam is out, in this better weather, finding mice for the family. Of course, at this point and partly due to the scarcity of mice and the rarity of suitable times to hunt, all she shares is the regurgitated fur of the little beasts. ON MY JUST CLEANED RUG, TOO, I WILL HAVE YOU KNOW! Still, that I know she is having some fun is almost enough. I no longer chastise her for doing what she must, I now know better. Still, I do shut off the bedroom. I do like some places kept clean, safe, and vomit free.
I ought to go do something or other. I still, however, am not up to much. I did well with my lady friend. Between her ideas and mine, her ways and wants and my facilities, I was able to manage a week of care and attention, and without much effort as I have suggested. I did sleep in a few hours each day, but then I was up later doing some of the things I do after she had already gone to sleep. Blogging and minor game tasks which are to be done daily or up to thrice daily are solo tasks and I do not like impinging on the time I have with real people for these things. Mornings are a good time to let people... visitors... have their own personal time as well. Of course I am making this up as I go. But it seems to fit.
Later.
Something to keep in mind.
.
.
While reading blogs.
Most of those who have the tech savvy, a computer, the ability to write, and the willingness to do so, on the internet (or anywhere officially published as well these days) is a liberal or an anarchist of some sort. No, go ahead, read. Just understand most writers want the world turned on the axis and want the sun to shine in blue... or something. Most want America to fail, many want the rich to die, Christians are often the target, and multi-culture is the "norm" for most of these people. Sure, there is a subsection of writers like myself, who believe in individualism (anti-collectivist), believe in this nation, and believe in God who, to some degree, actually both created and has upheld the nation and whose offering of free will makes the first a fact (if men have tried to, painfully, murderously, suspend all three).
Just understand that you are dealing with people who either through a lack of common sense or an outright admitted wish for the failure of liberties and or this nation (same same on this account to those types), write in just such a manner. While it is true, this nation and her people deserve punishment for sacrificing children on whatever alter you wish to name abortion as the "reason" for or what that "right" is based upon. While it is true, America is not heaven on earth. While imperfect people, bureaucrats, and politicians run the show, the truth is this was once and may survive to be again an exceptional nation.
Why is it exceptional, or have the potential to be exceptional again? Because, even now for the most part, setting aside the mass genocide against babies (a big thing to set aside as how can any right be guaranteed without the guarantee of life itself?), this nation is one of the only nations were men may actually rise or fall on their merits. No, that is not perfect. Yes, it is becoming less so, with regulations choking out pure hard work and true invention. But it is one of the best and has been for centuries. Pick your little commie European ditchweedalley which you might call utopia. How long has it been that good and how long will that last? There have been little commie-lands which pop up, call it good, and burn. European nations will soon be muslim. Nice call, Guido(s).
Anyway, just understand that cyberpunks write as they do as much for grandiose "stylin'" as to be in alignment with the rest of their anarchist idealism. Understand and do not be surprised. Then again, they have an administration that is "down with all dat". So, it goes to figure, you will see more of it, from both the left and the so-called right. There are some conservatives left. You will know them by their fruit.
Have a fine patriotic day. You may not be my comrades, but you are my fellow citizens and free men.
.
While reading blogs.
Most of those who have the tech savvy, a computer, the ability to write, and the willingness to do so, on the internet (or anywhere officially published as well these days) is a liberal or an anarchist of some sort. No, go ahead, read. Just understand most writers want the world turned on the axis and want the sun to shine in blue... or something. Most want America to fail, many want the rich to die, Christians are often the target, and multi-culture is the "norm" for most of these people. Sure, there is a subsection of writers like myself, who believe in individualism (anti-collectivist), believe in this nation, and believe in God who, to some degree, actually both created and has upheld the nation and whose offering of free will makes the first a fact (if men have tried to, painfully, murderously, suspend all three).
Just understand that you are dealing with people who either through a lack of common sense or an outright admitted wish for the failure of liberties and or this nation (same same on this account to those types), write in just such a manner. While it is true, this nation and her people deserve punishment for sacrificing children on whatever alter you wish to name abortion as the "reason" for or what that "right" is based upon. While it is true, America is not heaven on earth. While imperfect people, bureaucrats, and politicians run the show, the truth is this was once and may survive to be again an exceptional nation.
Why is it exceptional, or have the potential to be exceptional again? Because, even now for the most part, setting aside the mass genocide against babies (a big thing to set aside as how can any right be guaranteed without the guarantee of life itself?), this nation is one of the only nations were men may actually rise or fall on their merits. No, that is not perfect. Yes, it is becoming less so, with regulations choking out pure hard work and true invention. But it is one of the best and has been for centuries. Pick your little commie European ditchweedalley which you might call utopia. How long has it been that good and how long will that last? There have been little commie-lands which pop up, call it good, and burn. European nations will soon be muslim. Nice call, Guido(s).
Anyway, just understand that cyberpunks write as they do as much for grandiose "stylin'" as to be in alignment with the rest of their anarchist idealism. Understand and do not be surprised. Then again, they have an administration that is "down with all dat". So, it goes to figure, you will see more of it, from both the left and the so-called right. There are some conservatives left. You will know them by their fruit.
Have a fine patriotic day. You may not be my comrades, but you are my fellow citizens and free men.
Oh, yeah? Right... Okay.
.
.
Still getting up fairly well and early. Sleeping good, regularly, if dreaming a LOT. I do not always remember more than that I did dream in volume, but there is that. Nothing harsh lately, my jaw is back to feeling good. That is a hint, it was sore a week or three back. Not much else going on.
My lady friend keeps calling. I think she was surprised and impressed with what I have managed to do here. Making and keeping her like family, and cleanly, also trips her up a bit. She is used to everything costing something and nothing offered just because. She keeps looking for the cost. She may, in time, come to believe. That, actually, is all I am hoping to see. It profits me nothing but it may offer her something very special and quite good for her. Either that or I will throw her in a lake! Bah! :0 :) She was actually a very good guest. Some of my new life, and who I always have been, did not get her going, even when she was exposed full throttle. No, nothing weird, at least to those of us who believe in the Constitution and Bill of Rights. Anathema to an Iowa Citian.
It is past time for bed. Good night!
.
Still getting up fairly well and early. Sleeping good, regularly, if dreaming a LOT. I do not always remember more than that I did dream in volume, but there is that. Nothing harsh lately, my jaw is back to feeling good. That is a hint, it was sore a week or three back. Not much else going on.
My lady friend keeps calling. I think she was surprised and impressed with what I have managed to do here. Making and keeping her like family, and cleanly, also trips her up a bit. She is used to everything costing something and nothing offered just because. She keeps looking for the cost. She may, in time, come to believe. That, actually, is all I am hoping to see. It profits me nothing but it may offer her something very special and quite good for her. Either that or I will throw her in a lake! Bah! :0 :) She was actually a very good guest. Some of my new life, and who I always have been, did not get her going, even when she was exposed full throttle. No, nothing weird, at least to those of us who believe in the Constitution and Bill of Rights. Anathema to an Iowa Citian.
It is past time for bed. Good night!
Sunday, December 12, 2010
Nice.
.
.
I do need to get to bed earlier if I am going to try and keep a day schedule. I was able to wake up at 7:00, the time the alarm was set to go off anyway. But it is becoming tough to stay awake during the day. I know, as do you, that I will fall at some point. Nothing I do will change that. I can hope, I can try, I can pray, but I know I will fall off this schedule, any schedule, and sleep long hours, days, weeks, perhaps even months again. I will try, every day I have breath though, to maintain a day schedule. How odd that such a simple thing is so very difficult.
I am not doing much, just hanging onto my schedule. I have a few projects I need and want to attend, things that cost no money. Staying awake IS my chore, for the moment, however. I would like to get my reloading stand put together, assemble my reloader, organize the station, and begin churning out my own "roll your own" bullets. If nothing else it is something mechanical to do, something new, a project that requires a little bit of everything I like to do rolled into one large project but is really a number of puzzles and mechanical mind games. All new, all the way. I would also like to go through the last of my boxes, sort what to keep, discard a good deal of stuff, and organize the place a bit more. Well, we will see.
Grumpy, I say. That is what I am today. No, not grumblingly grumpy, just not cheerful. Well, when I say cheerful, I mean like being able to be chipper and jovial while going over a cliff waterfall. Telling jokes on the way down, maybe doing some flips and twirls while airborne as a last hurray for life. I am not ever really cheery about the world or the truth of our reality here, only I see no reason, generally, not to find what joy, mirth, and pleasantry which is here and in abundance. Today I just cannot wake enough to find my little mental nirvana. Maybe it will come in a bit, or tomorrow. The good thing is that I know it will return before long. It has replaced my once felt need for suicide, something I have not felt a need for since... 1993 I believe. My last great attempt at embracing death with a 12 gauge kiss. *click* So be it and good riddance to such a notion. Ha!
On to doing more staying awake. Hmmm, lunch almost sounds good enough to do something about. Not yet but I am getting there. Be well and have a blessed day. In the storm of life and the world, may that one streak of sunshine come into your day, your life, your heart. Do not reject it, God only offers. We must accept.
.
I do need to get to bed earlier if I am going to try and keep a day schedule. I was able to wake up at 7:00, the time the alarm was set to go off anyway. But it is becoming tough to stay awake during the day. I know, as do you, that I will fall at some point. Nothing I do will change that. I can hope, I can try, I can pray, but I know I will fall off this schedule, any schedule, and sleep long hours, days, weeks, perhaps even months again. I will try, every day I have breath though, to maintain a day schedule. How odd that such a simple thing is so very difficult.
I am not doing much, just hanging onto my schedule. I have a few projects I need and want to attend, things that cost no money. Staying awake IS my chore, for the moment, however. I would like to get my reloading stand put together, assemble my reloader, organize the station, and begin churning out my own "roll your own" bullets. If nothing else it is something mechanical to do, something new, a project that requires a little bit of everything I like to do rolled into one large project but is really a number of puzzles and mechanical mind games. All new, all the way. I would also like to go through the last of my boxes, sort what to keep, discard a good deal of stuff, and organize the place a bit more. Well, we will see.
Grumpy, I say. That is what I am today. No, not grumblingly grumpy, just not cheerful. Well, when I say cheerful, I mean like being able to be chipper and jovial while going over a cliff waterfall. Telling jokes on the way down, maybe doing some flips and twirls while airborne as a last hurray for life. I am not ever really cheery about the world or the truth of our reality here, only I see no reason, generally, not to find what joy, mirth, and pleasantry which is here and in abundance. Today I just cannot wake enough to find my little mental nirvana. Maybe it will come in a bit, or tomorrow. The good thing is that I know it will return before long. It has replaced my once felt need for suicide, something I have not felt a need for since... 1993 I believe. My last great attempt at embracing death with a 12 gauge kiss. *click* So be it and good riddance to such a notion. Ha!
On to doing more staying awake. Hmmm, lunch almost sounds good enough to do something about. Not yet but I am getting there. Be well and have a blessed day. In the storm of life and the world, may that one streak of sunshine come into your day, your life, your heart. Do not reject it, God only offers. We must accept.
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