.
.
Which is fine. It would have been nice, not saying otherwise. It just wasn't the highest priority. I suppose, somehow, I could squeeze that out. But I don't think I could find enough places to stay to be out of the way while there. My mother might well love for me to stay that long, in theory. But as we all know, that... simply... doesn't work out. Parents and children, living together, no matter how much we love each other... If it has to work, sometimes it does. But it is rocky. Actually, living with anyone is a tough gig. No matter how pretty, useful, helpful, she has always become a ball and chain. Love it? Well... there are times I would have sworn to it, much at when in engineering I swore I loved math. No. The only thing that might have gotten me to stay with a woman is children. Otherwise it just doesn't last. And, even that, is more like a guilt trip, until the children are old enough to begin programming to do stupid pet tricks. Which is short lived as well.
Anyway, yeah, no. I'd love to stay longer, in one sense. That I haven't been there for a long time. Hmm... actually? I was thinking of being there a month anyway. If I went later enough, and held my breath at times, I might be able to make it. Leaving a few days before the end of this month, returning in early August? You know? Especially if I could stay with other family, from time to time. Not sure. I'll think on it.
The good side to everything being off is I have more time to attempt to clean, clear, and be very ready to go. Today is a rough one. It's cold again, not sunny. It was down to 64 this morning, in this front room (without vent from the furnace). So... yeah. Even so, I have dishes soaking again, and laundry about to begin being processed, switched out, and all. I have to fold these. Ugh... Lots more clothes than I thought, as some were still in the dryer.
It is shaping up. Not sure, even now, but... maybe. Later.
Wednesday, June 14, 2017
Looks like the cold war is heating up.
.
.
A senator and staffer, or several of one or each, were shot. An attack by a bernieite. Leftists have been pushing this, hard, since the harder left lost to the softer left in this last election. They have become completely unhinged. Which wasn't much of a movement. Of course, they are going after their own allies. From what I can tell, if they murdered every republican in the senate and the house they would be doing 'conservatives*' a favor. We aren't represented, currently. All our leadership and reps have sold out to the biggest foreign money. But replacement value is where it really might be at, and the change in attitude.
There will be many republicans who attempt to negotiate, to play nice about this, and to attempt to make amends. Hopefully up close and personal. More hopefully, with the same results of what we got here. Then, and probably only then, will repbulicans start realizing that their foreign owners don't care, that the side they are trying to make peace with only wants the peace of their death and the deaths of many they say they mean to represent, and nothing else will satisfy them... Choices. They can, for less "money", begin truly representing America and Americans, and even limiting who and what those things mean, or they can end up in that shallow grave, if they get that, but from each side. In a hot war, being in the middle absolutely sucks. It's going hot.
Hatch, I think, bothered me with a call last night, to suggest he had some live event going on. No. thank. you. Keep it. I'm not interested. I've watched his work, and simply have no interest in being involved. I remember when he was about to be replaced, and the state GOPe butchered the process to make sure he kept his seat. He is neither an ally, or friend. That is how I feel about republicans! Dems? Well, no need to even go there.
At this point, cya. If you know decent people, do what you can for them. Watch your back, the animals are out and crazed. If they come, do not hold back. You might well lose, but better to lose giving than just taking. If there is no pain, to them, they will never stop. And, who knows, you pop a couple of them rightly, you might just turn the numbers game against them. Angels, it is said, will still fight with righteous men. Leave politicians to their chosen fate, defend yourself and yours. Oh, don't start it, not unless it comes to that point. But finish it if possible. Good day.
.
A senator and staffer, or several of one or each, were shot. An attack by a bernieite. Leftists have been pushing this, hard, since the harder left lost to the softer left in this last election. They have become completely unhinged. Which wasn't much of a movement. Of course, they are going after their own allies. From what I can tell, if they murdered every republican in the senate and the house they would be doing 'conservatives*' a favor. We aren't represented, currently. All our leadership and reps have sold out to the biggest foreign money. But replacement value is where it really might be at, and the change in attitude.
There will be many republicans who attempt to negotiate, to play nice about this, and to attempt to make amends. Hopefully up close and personal. More hopefully, with the same results of what we got here. Then, and probably only then, will repbulicans start realizing that their foreign owners don't care, that the side they are trying to make peace with only wants the peace of their death and the deaths of many they say they mean to represent, and nothing else will satisfy them... Choices. They can, for less "money", begin truly representing America and Americans, and even limiting who and what those things mean, or they can end up in that shallow grave, if they get that, but from each side. In a hot war, being in the middle absolutely sucks. It's going hot.
Hatch, I think, bothered me with a call last night, to suggest he had some live event going on. No. thank. you. Keep it. I'm not interested. I've watched his work, and simply have no interest in being involved. I remember when he was about to be replaced, and the state GOPe butchered the process to make sure he kept his seat. He is neither an ally, or friend. That is how I feel about republicans! Dems? Well, no need to even go there.
At this point, cya. If you know decent people, do what you can for them. Watch your back, the animals are out and crazed. If they come, do not hold back. You might well lose, but better to lose giving than just taking. If there is no pain, to them, they will never stop. And, who knows, you pop a couple of them rightly, you might just turn the numbers game against them. Angels, it is said, will still fight with righteous men. Leave politicians to their chosen fate, defend yourself and yours. Oh, don't start it, not unless it comes to that point. But finish it if possible. Good day.
Awake, about on time, with a minor headache.
.
.
I think the headache is from shifting sleep cycle. The cool... changed something. It being, in real terms, cool not actuallycold (in here and to me), I was able to stay up longer. But that is hard on the body. Resistance to wakefulness disappeared, that threw things off. The headache is mild, it will pass on it's own, so no aspirin.
Brushing two to three times a day, shaving every other day or three, keeping up on food and the girls, and now attempting to put the cave in order before I rocket out. Or, even if I don't. Bits and pieces, one thing at a time... nearly. A load of laundry right after this post, then running fresh hot water for the dishes, looking for a suitcase or two... a larger one for four or five sets of clothes, and dress clothes, plus a small personals pack. Only extra socks and underwear, the rest can wear longer. Trying not to over-pack, but I hate having too little as well. Good to be a man, on some things, even so, if I take too much as men often go. Then again, I used to take a lot less and end up having to buy. Not good.
I don't know how much I can get done. Yes, yes, talk, talk, talk, mostly, so far. But, for me, it helps to talk into it when I am not quite ready to do. I coalesce the mind in that direction, beat the war drums, and hope to instill urgency, focus, intent. I have to do a lot of a work to do any work... which is why that doesn't happen as often as I would like. Well, and the work I would rather do is expensive. I'd rather be fixing things, working on the roof, even painting. Not just expensive work, but also complicated. Paining a room would me, for me, usually, stripping it. Even in the big, current, bathroom, before I paint I will remove the toilet. I'll have to do a new wax ring. Which is fine, I want to lay a new double bead of silicon calk anyway. But, see, it... gets complicated, and paint isn't cheap either. Choosing a color? Gah!
However, the work that is for me, to make the cave a bit more reasonable to have 'guest workers' is what there is on my list. I will do it as best I am able. Quickly, tirelessly as possible, and as efficiently as I can. Yeah... sounds like when someone else is prepping you for work. But I don't have anyone else. Oh. Best set up my medicine as well. The half hour is up, so now, after brushing, I can have tea. Just that will keep teeth from being white without silly efforts. Stained, maybe, but I've had fewer cavities, none since 1993, than most of you. Keep your pearlies, if they have to keep drilling.
Right. Tea. Plus finishing waking. Oh, but a load of laundry in and dishes a refresh. THEN, an hour or two to wake and stretch into things. THEN back to work of some kind. I do like to work, if some of this mumbo-jumbo house cleaning and sorting stuff is... a struggle. More than most. Not my problem, sort of, it is what to do. Work, work, work, go, go, go, ready, aim, fire, shut the fuck up and get up! Later.
.
I think the headache is from shifting sleep cycle. The cool... changed something. It being, in real terms, cool not actuallycold (in here and to me), I was able to stay up longer. But that is hard on the body. Resistance to wakefulness disappeared, that threw things off. The headache is mild, it will pass on it's own, so no aspirin.
Brushing two to three times a day, shaving every other day or three, keeping up on food and the girls, and now attempting to put the cave in order before I rocket out. Or, even if I don't. Bits and pieces, one thing at a time... nearly. A load of laundry right after this post, then running fresh hot water for the dishes, looking for a suitcase or two... a larger one for four or five sets of clothes, and dress clothes, plus a small personals pack. Only extra socks and underwear, the rest can wear longer. Trying not to over-pack, but I hate having too little as well. Good to be a man, on some things, even so, if I take too much as men often go. Then again, I used to take a lot less and end up having to buy. Not good.
I don't know how much I can get done. Yes, yes, talk, talk, talk, mostly, so far. But, for me, it helps to talk into it when I am not quite ready to do. I coalesce the mind in that direction, beat the war drums, and hope to instill urgency, focus, intent. I have to do a lot of a work to do any work... which is why that doesn't happen as often as I would like. Well, and the work I would rather do is expensive. I'd rather be fixing things, working on the roof, even painting. Not just expensive work, but also complicated. Paining a room would me, for me, usually, stripping it. Even in the big, current, bathroom, before I paint I will remove the toilet. I'll have to do a new wax ring. Which is fine, I want to lay a new double bead of silicon calk anyway. But, see, it... gets complicated, and paint isn't cheap either. Choosing a color? Gah!
However, the work that is for me, to make the cave a bit more reasonable to have 'guest workers' is what there is on my list. I will do it as best I am able. Quickly, tirelessly as possible, and as efficiently as I can. Yeah... sounds like when someone else is prepping you for work. But I don't have anyone else. Oh. Best set up my medicine as well. The half hour is up, so now, after brushing, I can have tea. Just that will keep teeth from being white without silly efforts. Stained, maybe, but I've had fewer cavities, none since 1993, than most of you. Keep your pearlies, if they have to keep drilling.
Right. Tea. Plus finishing waking. Oh, but a load of laundry in and dishes a refresh. THEN, an hour or two to wake and stretch into things. THEN back to work of some kind. I do like to work, if some of this mumbo-jumbo house cleaning and sorting stuff is... a struggle. More than most. Not my problem, sort of, it is what to do. Work, work, work, go, go, go, ready, aim, fire, shut the fuck up and get up! Later.
Tuesday, June 13, 2017
Fried.
.
.
It isn't just from what I wrote. I have been working, on the side, to try to get things arranged before I go. Laundry is going, the toilet has been cleaned with the intention of hitting the whole bathroom tomorrow then keeping it pristine until I go, the bedroom I am in is being treated, as will a few other places. I want to make it as pleasant for any who must enter to do the chores needed. As well, to not come home to... well... what I have been living in.
The potential for travel has given me cause to scoot and shoot. Work, work, work... At least the drive is there. The practical? I get bogged down so easily! Distracted, confused, tiring out easily as well. Still, I... I have done more today, here, there, this, and that, than I have in quite some time. Push. I want a whole lot more done. The main thing are the things which would be troublesome for many reasons. Then the stuff that is just clutter. Finally, perhaps, some neatening and refining, if I get that far.
Beyond, I want worm and cat food prepped and easy. I want the indoor plants put where they won't be as easily missed when tending to the girls (cats). Hmm, I might even leave treats for whoever visits. Various candy bars, ice cream bars, or... something. Honey is far better than else, for drawing kind deeds, and spurring the behavior. I have to think about even more. Not sure what niece aged girls like, want, need. Mix and match in there. Hmm... I will ponder on the tree of woe... when estrogen is set to waft. Or call my brother, he has two of my other nieces. He might know. I dunno.
I might change out the hoses, and put lighter ones out. The ones I have are murder for even me to work with. Yeah, glutton and pain both belong in the explanation for that. Not that it's all that serious, I nap more than pain myself. Still, the idea is there. I do try. I'll toss the clothes in the dryer, let them fluff as done as they will get, and get ready to do more in the morning. Thankfully I really don't have many clothes to do. I do have a lot of dishes though. Hmm... I'll probably run a load of those before I go to bed to. Let them soak. Ugh.
Medicine, brushing, then? Good night. That's what's next. Sleep well or work hard, whatever is left to you... or just enjoy, if that's open and else is as done as it can be.
.
It isn't just from what I wrote. I have been working, on the side, to try to get things arranged before I go. Laundry is going, the toilet has been cleaned with the intention of hitting the whole bathroom tomorrow then keeping it pristine until I go, the bedroom I am in is being treated, as will a few other places. I want to make it as pleasant for any who must enter to do the chores needed. As well, to not come home to... well... what I have been living in.
The potential for travel has given me cause to scoot and shoot. Work, work, work... At least the drive is there. The practical? I get bogged down so easily! Distracted, confused, tiring out easily as well. Still, I... I have done more today, here, there, this, and that, than I have in quite some time. Push. I want a whole lot more done. The main thing are the things which would be troublesome for many reasons. Then the stuff that is just clutter. Finally, perhaps, some neatening and refining, if I get that far.
Beyond, I want worm and cat food prepped and easy. I want the indoor plants put where they won't be as easily missed when tending to the girls (cats). Hmm, I might even leave treats for whoever visits. Various candy bars, ice cream bars, or... something. Honey is far better than else, for drawing kind deeds, and spurring the behavior. I have to think about even more. Not sure what niece aged girls like, want, need. Mix and match in there. Hmm... I will ponder on the tree of woe... when estrogen is set to waft. Or call my brother, he has two of my other nieces. He might know. I dunno.
I might change out the hoses, and put lighter ones out. The ones I have are murder for even me to work with. Yeah, glutton and pain both belong in the explanation for that. Not that it's all that serious, I nap more than pain myself. Still, the idea is there. I do try. I'll toss the clothes in the dryer, let them fluff as done as they will get, and get ready to do more in the morning. Thankfully I really don't have many clothes to do. I do have a lot of dishes though. Hmm... I'll probably run a load of those before I go to bed to. Let them soak. Ugh.
Medicine, brushing, then? Good night. That's what's next. Sleep well or work hard, whatever is left to you... or just enjoy, if that's open and else is as done as it can be.
Pulling teeth.
.
.
I had added extra money into my Home Depot account, in order to have money in it to pay off the lawnmower, or get a start on it anyway. As it turns out, their credit department refused to use that money. They wanted me to buy an in-store purchase card with it, then use that along with the regular balance and whatever else. The in-store guys advised against it. If the store-chit, or whatever it is called, wouldn't process, then I would be stuck. They can't return those. They weren't sure it would work. So I had to use another card. Which... makes things tight. They wouldn't up the card, or do anything else to help. I may have to get rid of that card. They do it to themselves. At least the store people were trying to prevent me from being scammed. Still, it was messy.
Now to get it back. I ended up going with the larger mower. It was on sale for less than even the smaller mower I had been considering. The 10% off I had brought it down to where, if they had used the card, that would have paid it all. It does have the 50" deck. Oh well... the good is having the 24 hp engine. I hope it's a good. When I get back I will order the scoop. I'll install it, then just detach the scoop portion. The brackets stay on it. You never know until you know, I guess.
I did a bit more shopping. Cat food, litter, and a few needed items. Shorts, a few caps, and house shoes... or good enough for that. For when I travel, though they were needed anyway. That sure added up fast, but... what can you do? I may find out tonight, when I can get the mower. I'd like to ride it at least once before heading out. I am excited about it. I never thought I could afford one, to be honest.
I'll tell you, whatever else, I seem to be either somewhat appreciated or absolutely hated. I can't always tell which it is. Don't really care, on the one hand. But it... when eyes are burning holes in your back... then again, I'm a little nervous when the herd closes in, friend of foe. I'm used to being alone. Honestly I don't know if I could fight my way out of a wet paper bag, but push come to shove I'd give it what I've got. Might go down like a bag of potatoes or might end the thing before most people could blink. Depends on me, what I might be facing, and... Well... I'm getting old. I'm well past when most people die, from a thousand things. I've been dead three times. I shouldn't even honestly be able to have this sort of conversation... but there it is.
If you are going to do it, shoot me several times, well placed shots. Shoot my again, very well placed while approaching. Then chop off my head. You really don't want me coming back again. No jail or prison will keep you safe from me. Though, I think mine would get you if you succeed. But they'll just kill you. I'll rip parts of you off. Don't tease. Do it or leave it alone. Yeah.
Later.
.
I had added extra money into my Home Depot account, in order to have money in it to pay off the lawnmower, or get a start on it anyway. As it turns out, their credit department refused to use that money. They wanted me to buy an in-store purchase card with it, then use that along with the regular balance and whatever else. The in-store guys advised against it. If the store-chit, or whatever it is called, wouldn't process, then I would be stuck. They can't return those. They weren't sure it would work. So I had to use another card. Which... makes things tight. They wouldn't up the card, or do anything else to help. I may have to get rid of that card. They do it to themselves. At least the store people were trying to prevent me from being scammed. Still, it was messy.
Now to get it back. I ended up going with the larger mower. It was on sale for less than even the smaller mower I had been considering. The 10% off I had brought it down to where, if they had used the card, that would have paid it all. It does have the 50" deck. Oh well... the good is having the 24 hp engine. I hope it's a good. When I get back I will order the scoop. I'll install it, then just detach the scoop portion. The brackets stay on it. You never know until you know, I guess.
I did a bit more shopping. Cat food, litter, and a few needed items. Shorts, a few caps, and house shoes... or good enough for that. For when I travel, though they were needed anyway. That sure added up fast, but... what can you do? I may find out tonight, when I can get the mower. I'd like to ride it at least once before heading out. I am excited about it. I never thought I could afford one, to be honest.
I'll tell you, whatever else, I seem to be either somewhat appreciated or absolutely hated. I can't always tell which it is. Don't really care, on the one hand. But it... when eyes are burning holes in your back... then again, I'm a little nervous when the herd closes in, friend of foe. I'm used to being alone. Honestly I don't know if I could fight my way out of a wet paper bag, but push come to shove I'd give it what I've got. Might go down like a bag of potatoes or might end the thing before most people could blink. Depends on me, what I might be facing, and... Well... I'm getting old. I'm well past when most people die, from a thousand things. I've been dead three times. I shouldn't even honestly be able to have this sort of conversation... but there it is.
If you are going to do it, shoot me several times, well placed shots. Shoot my again, very well placed while approaching. Then chop off my head. You really don't want me coming back again. No jail or prison will keep you safe from me. Though, I think mine would get you if you succeed. But they'll just kill you. I'll rip parts of you off. Don't tease. Do it or leave it alone. Yeah.
Later.
Cool, actually really cool.
.
.
As I was heading out, I noticed my furnace thermometer. I thought I saw something that shouldn't... couldn't... be. I have it set at 66, and really should have it off. No matter, it still flashes between the time and the internal temp reading. I could have swore it read 66, in that nano second as I was speeding by and just happened to glance. But that... couldn't be? It's JUNE 13th! So, in spite of being a bit in a hurry, I paused to see. Indeed. It read 66 F, in my house, and that is with the furnace on. I wonder what it might have gotten down to otherwise? Absolutely crazy. I'm betting snow really is coming. That wasn't just a... freak dream... daydream... vision. Or has it already snowed? They aren't telling the real news, currently. They are hiding much. Trump and the other clowns in D.C. are covering over the real events with their bullshittery. Is he now owned, or undone? Or... we'll see. You too, maybe.
I got to the post, though, and in time. Two sinks. Never ordering that way again. They really dropped the ball on shipping. I did get a water bill today, though I haven't heard back from the accountant. The bill shows that I am $19 in the black, but I think I have a $50 check to be cashed yet. For some reason I wrote them for the middle of the months? I have no idea why I did that. That is totally out of character. Was I ill, or really... problematic... when I wrote them? I just... don't know. Anyway, I'd like to see, generally, what my bill comes to, when it would be due again... roughly... then get a couple of years worth of checks in. Ugh.
I haven't heard from my mother, either. Though she might not have the time until later. Plus, she is having to call someone else, perhaps playing phone tag as well. Life is never straightforward when two or more gather for a job... save worship. Unless it's a well hones team. A gaggle of women, transmitting information... can go either way. *grins* No complaints, I just don't transmit, mostly.
I shaved again. One thing I am finding about shaving? If you do it, you sort gotta keep doing it. Or the face itches, the whiskers get sharp, the skin dries out terrible. Either shave or do not shave, but don't horse around. When I wasn't, officially, shaving, just using the trimmer was a good way to go. Brushing and shaving are becoming very regular, and medicine, and food. Not back to work yet, but... Oh... if I go home, I'll have my mother make a list of things to do. No promises, at all. But, if I can, I'd like to try to work there. When she is at work. I might do the list, or do other things. I've... learned my way around a home, if I can't keep one up, not fully, not solo. I'll bet I can surprise her. Or... not. :p
.
As I was heading out, I noticed my furnace thermometer. I thought I saw something that shouldn't... couldn't... be. I have it set at 66, and really should have it off. No matter, it still flashes between the time and the internal temp reading. I could have swore it read 66, in that nano second as I was speeding by and just happened to glance. But that... couldn't be? It's JUNE 13th! So, in spite of being a bit in a hurry, I paused to see. Indeed. It read 66 F, in my house, and that is with the furnace on. I wonder what it might have gotten down to otherwise? Absolutely crazy. I'm betting snow really is coming. That wasn't just a... freak dream... daydream... vision. Or has it already snowed? They aren't telling the real news, currently. They are hiding much. Trump and the other clowns in D.C. are covering over the real events with their bullshittery. Is he now owned, or undone? Or... we'll see. You too, maybe.
I got to the post, though, and in time. Two sinks. Never ordering that way again. They really dropped the ball on shipping. I did get a water bill today, though I haven't heard back from the accountant. The bill shows that I am $19 in the black, but I think I have a $50 check to be cashed yet. For some reason I wrote them for the middle of the months? I have no idea why I did that. That is totally out of character. Was I ill, or really... problematic... when I wrote them? I just... don't know. Anyway, I'd like to see, generally, what my bill comes to, when it would be due again... roughly... then get a couple of years worth of checks in. Ugh.
I haven't heard from my mother, either. Though she might not have the time until later. Plus, she is having to call someone else, perhaps playing phone tag as well. Life is never straightforward when two or more gather for a job... save worship. Unless it's a well hones team. A gaggle of women, transmitting information... can go either way. *grins* No complaints, I just don't transmit, mostly.
I shaved again. One thing I am finding about shaving? If you do it, you sort gotta keep doing it. Or the face itches, the whiskers get sharp, the skin dries out terrible. Either shave or do not shave, but don't horse around. When I wasn't, officially, shaving, just using the trimmer was a good way to go. Brushing and shaving are becoming very regular, and medicine, and food. Not back to work yet, but... Oh... if I go home, I'll have my mother make a list of things to do. No promises, at all. But, if I can, I'd like to try to work there. When she is at work. I might do the list, or do other things. I've... learned my way around a home, if I can't keep one up, not fully, not solo. I'll bet I can surprise her. Or... not. :p
Don't believe everything you hear.
.
.
Actually, believe nothing that you hear. Test it, check it, verify... even then... doubt. Even when you know it, be looking for how, when, why, not. This includes God. He will check out, has for me anyway, so far. Yeah, I... keep at it, both on Him, and myself. Doubt will do you great favors, checking is necessary, so times of peace when you reach a plateau of consciousness will bear exceptional fruit from it. It's... how it has to be, and will be, whether you like it or not... if you intend to live, and learn.
.
Actually, believe nothing that you hear. Test it, check it, verify... even then... doubt. Even when you know it, be looking for how, when, why, not. This includes God. He will check out, has for me anyway, so far. Yeah, I... keep at it, both on Him, and myself. Doubt will do you great favors, checking is necessary, so times of peace when you reach a plateau of consciousness will bear exceptional fruit from it. It's... how it has to be, and will be, whether you like it or not... if you intend to live, and learn.
What? Right.
.
.
After days of pushing to make it to 17:00, making it once then falling back, I was awake until 21:00 and change last night. Not good to stretch that far, at least on an 'empty stomach'. When traveling, I can do it, and much more. Just sitting at home, especially adjusting to medicine, not so much. I woke at 4:00, pretty much exactly. Seven hours isn't bad, considering everything is out of bend. Still, it's an ugly morning for it, at least starting out. Headache.
.
After days of pushing to make it to 17:00, making it once then falling back, I was awake until 21:00 and change last night. Not good to stretch that far, at least on an 'empty stomach'. When traveling, I can do it, and much more. Just sitting at home, especially adjusting to medicine, not so much. I woke at 4:00, pretty much exactly. Seven hours isn't bad, considering everything is out of bend. Still, it's an ugly morning for it, at least starting out. Headache.
Monday, June 12, 2017
Maybes are adding up.
.
.
Financials look good. I spoke with someone about tending the place. The girls will miss some things. I just can't take them with. And vet 'storage' just... isn't right, or affordable. A list of duties, I am told, is what is needed. A timeline, and duty list. I can do that. It won't be extremely simple, but it won't be terribly difficult.
Off hand... water the outside plants, perhaps lawn, two to three times a week; when here, doing that, check the water for the cats, ensure they have dry food, clean out their litter; Water the house plants... I will move those back where they are right near the cat stuff. Hmm... and worms? How to have... I might just buy produce, and process that. Freezing small bags of it, one to be added to the worm bin along with the rest? Yeah, I can do that.
The girls aren't going to like it. I don't know what to do if Sam, or Sassy, escape. I'm not sure what to do about heat, and 'trim' of windows and such. If the back is left open, they can go to the basement if it gets too hot. Still... I don't know. I'll have to think of something something, too. I'll... think. I have my ways, fool that I am.
Now, I still don't know if the gig is on. There are other things to know, other things to consider, this, and that. But a notion, in my hands, can be created, destroyed, even quickened if killed by almost any means, on short order. Not only was I, at one time, a man with the tools and means, but a man who could. Was that just a dream? I think... it depend(ed)(s) upon whom you ask(ed).
It would be good to see family. To be there for a moment. To... travel. Maybe for the last time, at least in a very long time. But you know what happens over long periods of time. So... maybe last time. Especially if my feet have their way with me. Woden, or one of them, should not be nailed down. Only for... special reasons. And she... never mind. Not one of my problems. Later.
.
Financials look good. I spoke with someone about tending the place. The girls will miss some things. I just can't take them with. And vet 'storage' just... isn't right, or affordable. A list of duties, I am told, is what is needed. A timeline, and duty list. I can do that. It won't be extremely simple, but it won't be terribly difficult.
Off hand... water the outside plants, perhaps lawn, two to three times a week; when here, doing that, check the water for the cats, ensure they have dry food, clean out their litter; Water the house plants... I will move those back where they are right near the cat stuff. Hmm... and worms? How to have... I might just buy produce, and process that. Freezing small bags of it, one to be added to the worm bin along with the rest? Yeah, I can do that.
The girls aren't going to like it. I don't know what to do if Sam, or Sassy, escape. I'm not sure what to do about heat, and 'trim' of windows and such. If the back is left open, they can go to the basement if it gets too hot. Still... I don't know. I'll have to think of something something, too. I'll... think. I have my ways, fool that I am.
Now, I still don't know if the gig is on. There are other things to know, other things to consider, this, and that. But a notion, in my hands, can be created, destroyed, even quickened if killed by almost any means, on short order. Not only was I, at one time, a man with the tools and means, but a man who could. Was that just a dream? I think... it depend(ed)(s) upon whom you ask(ed).
It would be good to see family. To be there for a moment. To... travel. Maybe for the last time, at least in a very long time. But you know what happens over long periods of time. So... maybe last time. Especially if my feet have their way with me. Woden, or one of them, should not be nailed down. Only for... special reasons. And she... never mind. Not one of my problems. Later.
Useless terror.
.
.
I finally got around to checking messages, on my phone. I found one suggesting I was behind on my water bill. By a lot. I thought I had taken care of that! I was almost sure I had! So I scrambled to call and figure this out. The woman who had been doing this was no longer in charge. She sort of remembered, maybe, handling a pack of checks from an out-of-state account, maybe me, but... just wasn't sure, and no longer had access. She did give me a couple of names and numbers to check things.
While I was talking, I was checking my account online. Well, after looking through my checkbooks to figure out which account was used and what the numbers might be. Actually, there were only two of the copies, though I was certain I had written four checks. I had thought they were $200, $150, and two $50's. It looks like, or my bank recorded, that there were two $150 checks... which should put me well over, into the black by a long shot, as utilities aren't that much and I wasn't that far behind. Must have been in a rush while writing them. I was terribly embarrassed. It was the last cleanup after the attempted house theft of ought 17. :p
Yeah, the bank suggests those checks were cashed. Still, quite a fright. Sometimes, like a sleeping animal, something awakens something primal. Being mostly dead, I sleep often. I wake in a hurry, from pain or fear. Primal. It is as things are. Still, good to have that almost cleared. She will be checking, and getting back to me, for sure, today or tomorrow. By that, I will plan a whole grouping of more checks, a year or two worth, post-dated... I think it should be pre-dated but that's not the convention. Sometimes I catch when I have lapsed, sometimes I don't. I do my best. But, yeah, even as a ghost, I'm still a darned kid... sometimes, in some ways.
Oh, from a few things... I might still be able to go home, if that all works, and get the lawn tractor. How? Well, shut up. That's how. It'll take me down to scrap, but that was... sort of going to happen no matter what. A major purchase will do that, especially with me just coming out of the attempted house theft of ought 17. Damned kids. Get off my lawn! Wait, not the ones mowing, or raking. *sigh* Know when you are beat? Shut it. Good to be king. Later.
.
I finally got around to checking messages, on my phone. I found one suggesting I was behind on my water bill. By a lot. I thought I had taken care of that! I was almost sure I had! So I scrambled to call and figure this out. The woman who had been doing this was no longer in charge. She sort of remembered, maybe, handling a pack of checks from an out-of-state account, maybe me, but... just wasn't sure, and no longer had access. She did give me a couple of names and numbers to check things.
While I was talking, I was checking my account online. Well, after looking through my checkbooks to figure out which account was used and what the numbers might be. Actually, there were only two of the copies, though I was certain I had written four checks. I had thought they were $200, $150, and two $50's. It looks like, or my bank recorded, that there were two $150 checks... which should put me well over, into the black by a long shot, as utilities aren't that much and I wasn't that far behind. Must have been in a rush while writing them. I was terribly embarrassed. It was the last cleanup after the attempted house theft of ought 17. :p
Yeah, the bank suggests those checks were cashed. Still, quite a fright. Sometimes, like a sleeping animal, something awakens something primal. Being mostly dead, I sleep often. I wake in a hurry, from pain or fear. Primal. It is as things are. Still, good to have that almost cleared. She will be checking, and getting back to me, for sure, today or tomorrow. By that, I will plan a whole grouping of more checks, a year or two worth, post-dated... I think it should be pre-dated but that's not the convention. Sometimes I catch when I have lapsed, sometimes I don't. I do my best. But, yeah, even as a ghost, I'm still a darned kid... sometimes, in some ways.
Oh, from a few things... I might still be able to go home, if that all works, and get the lawn tractor. How? Well, shut up. That's how. It'll take me down to scrap, but that was... sort of going to happen no matter what. A major purchase will do that, especially with me just coming out of the attempted house theft of ought 17. Damned kids. Get off my lawn! Wait, not the ones mowing, or raking. *sigh* Know when you are beat? Shut it. Good to be king. Later.
Not welcome.
.
.
Wow, I tell you, things are changing. While writing a response, the whole thing disappeared. Why? I think they are monitoring and editing, on some blogs, while comments are being written. Rather than reject after the fact, for this or that reason, they are... if they catch it in time, rejecting it immediately. Is it political correctness? I am thinking so. It was at Vox Day's blog.
He has been writing about the convergence, or the appearance of that, regarding some new writs for the Southern Baptist Convention. And, while I understand what seems like frustration, there are... problems... How can you call to account another when you aren't holding yourself accountable? Or... you have areas or people who are flagrantly wrong, who you hold close?
We are all sinful. We are all seduced by sin. We all have, beyond simple needs and wants, dark hungers. We fail to resist, sometimes... more often... to repent. Most people live with and in sin, and won't change. Christians who actually live the Christian life, confining themselves, refusing those who don't abide to some reasonable standards, are few. Most go by law, and leave it at that. I like to think I am among Christians, failing often, and only God will have that say, but the idea is there. And I do reject those who won't accept that there is sin, that sin is not acceptable, that they sin, and that redemption is an ongoing heavy process. They must be told, of course. Though some, who are brazen, have no need of being told.
Causality. Or how those who only believe in the world would have it. When we try to live our own lives, our own way, and reject the wisdom behind the notion of sin, and why or why not, we end up suffering. The world wants us to eat of the many fruits, and die from it. Knowing, finally, but without the wisdom to do a thing about it. Forgiveness? Yes, but it must be sought. For it to be sought, first it must be known to be needed. From what? That must be known. From whom? Raw fruit of the world is deadly poison, no matter how it may, at first blush, seem. Ah, believe or else, there is a right place where butterflies never die. In a different way, but... I think... well... you'll learn.
There was a time when human, anyway, causality, and what it bore, was my aim, goal. She taught me, the hard way. I learned, and went on to do, in ways she could never have fathomed. Though I had always been seeking the blowfish skin soup that would do the trick. She just... unleashed all reservations. Thankfully, now, I have been called back from that blackness. And, mostly, even in dark times, facing my Lord, it is okay. And more.
But this isn't about judgment, exactly. Only, if you accept sins, great sins, and the sinners who do them... bringing them in, holding them tight, literally or virtually, how can you judge others who do the same. Actually, regardless of how you go about it, if you claim others are doing bad by including those who shouldn't be, while doing so yourself, the problem... Well, that is why churches are failing.
I couldn't post this there, in abbreviated form. I'll try it here. I understand. Some just can't handle hearing that they seem to be throwing rocks while living in glass houses. Or their guards make sure they don't hear the negatives. Is there some method to his madness? Yes. But it is a very dangerous method, and may not be... fruitful rightly. Actually, I don't think it has ever worked... to my knowledge. So be it.
I was given not a second chance, but seven times seventy, daily, for much of the darker parts of my life. Thank God my foolishness was never truly accepted, allowed, coddled. Not even by me, if that was half the point? Amen.
.
Wow, I tell you, things are changing. While writing a response, the whole thing disappeared. Why? I think they are monitoring and editing, on some blogs, while comments are being written. Rather than reject after the fact, for this or that reason, they are... if they catch it in time, rejecting it immediately. Is it political correctness? I am thinking so. It was at Vox Day's blog.
He has been writing about the convergence, or the appearance of that, regarding some new writs for the Southern Baptist Convention. And, while I understand what seems like frustration, there are... problems... How can you call to account another when you aren't holding yourself accountable? Or... you have areas or people who are flagrantly wrong, who you hold close?
We are all sinful. We are all seduced by sin. We all have, beyond simple needs and wants, dark hungers. We fail to resist, sometimes... more often... to repent. Most people live with and in sin, and won't change. Christians who actually live the Christian life, confining themselves, refusing those who don't abide to some reasonable standards, are few. Most go by law, and leave it at that. I like to think I am among Christians, failing often, and only God will have that say, but the idea is there. And I do reject those who won't accept that there is sin, that sin is not acceptable, that they sin, and that redemption is an ongoing heavy process. They must be told, of course. Though some, who are brazen, have no need of being told.
Causality. Or how those who only believe in the world would have it. When we try to live our own lives, our own way, and reject the wisdom behind the notion of sin, and why or why not, we end up suffering. The world wants us to eat of the many fruits, and die from it. Knowing, finally, but without the wisdom to do a thing about it. Forgiveness? Yes, but it must be sought. For it to be sought, first it must be known to be needed. From what? That must be known. From whom? Raw fruit of the world is deadly poison, no matter how it may, at first blush, seem. Ah, believe or else, there is a right place where butterflies never die. In a different way, but... I think... well... you'll learn.
There was a time when human, anyway, causality, and what it bore, was my aim, goal. She taught me, the hard way. I learned, and went on to do, in ways she could never have fathomed. Though I had always been seeking the blowfish skin soup that would do the trick. She just... unleashed all reservations. Thankfully, now, I have been called back from that blackness. And, mostly, even in dark times, facing my Lord, it is okay. And more.
But this isn't about judgment, exactly. Only, if you accept sins, great sins, and the sinners who do them... bringing them in, holding them tight, literally or virtually, how can you judge others who do the same. Actually, regardless of how you go about it, if you claim others are doing bad by including those who shouldn't be, while doing so yourself, the problem... Well, that is why churches are failing.
I couldn't post this there, in abbreviated form. I'll try it here. I understand. Some just can't handle hearing that they seem to be throwing rocks while living in glass houses. Or their guards make sure they don't hear the negatives. Is there some method to his madness? Yes. But it is a very dangerous method, and may not be... fruitful rightly. Actually, I don't think it has ever worked... to my knowledge. So be it.
I was given not a second chance, but seven times seventy, daily, for much of the darker parts of my life. Thank God my foolishness was never truly accepted, allowed, coddled. Not even by me, if that was half the point? Amen.
At this point, there is no reason to read the news.
.
.
There have been news sources which were more reliable. There were sources which would gather at least the news that was important, and let you sift through the dirt in hopes of a few nuggets. At this point there is nothing but fluff, propaganda, and diversion. They are actively using the news to thwart information, the real stuff, the important stuff, from being released. Attacking, or defending, Trump... stories of leftist doings, or the counters... this isn't what is happening in the world, save what college kids and leftists might like to think. None of it is important. It's all fiction, like going to a circus. Whether you like one clown or another really doesn't matter concerning where to put your money or what is happening with the national debt; what your government is doing, where, and hwy; or what our military is about.
There is no news, as this point. Even blogs have just become a part of the side-tracking of the search for real information. It is all being hidden behind a facade of foolishness. I just won't read anymore. There is nothing out there, being offered, to actually inform me. Comey? He is only important to himself. The dems are a dying party, republicans are following as closely as possible, doing an actually impressive job of truly leading from behind successfully. I really thought that was a joke term, until I realized what the republican party really is doing.
Heck, even the weather? I checked the weather reports yesterday. It was suggested that Monday would be 66, Tuesday 64. Not even, say, twelve hours later and... now it is 65 and 67. Wow. They wonder why no one believes they can even forecast a year, let alone a century, down the pike? I haven't been able to find the actual temps, when they happen, and they constantly scrub their old guesses. I understand, it's not a SCIENCE (as it is commonly termed). But then stop acting like it is.
What is left? Ah, reading, gaming, working, cleaning, clearing... when health allows. I don't know. All I know is the news is useless. It isn't informing. It is absolutely avoiding informing. Convergence does that, I guess. But, then, why are all, in spite of knowing that it is disinformation, engaging with it? That is a very good question. Go with the simplest answer, ask your inner child. And... follow that wisdom and advice, and sever ties.
.
There have been news sources which were more reliable. There were sources which would gather at least the news that was important, and let you sift through the dirt in hopes of a few nuggets. At this point there is nothing but fluff, propaganda, and diversion. They are actively using the news to thwart information, the real stuff, the important stuff, from being released. Attacking, or defending, Trump... stories of leftist doings, or the counters... this isn't what is happening in the world, save what college kids and leftists might like to think. None of it is important. It's all fiction, like going to a circus. Whether you like one clown or another really doesn't matter concerning where to put your money or what is happening with the national debt; what your government is doing, where, and hwy; or what our military is about.
There is no news, as this point. Even blogs have just become a part of the side-tracking of the search for real information. It is all being hidden behind a facade of foolishness. I just won't read anymore. There is nothing out there, being offered, to actually inform me. Comey? He is only important to himself. The dems are a dying party, republicans are following as closely as possible, doing an actually impressive job of truly leading from behind successfully. I really thought that was a joke term, until I realized what the republican party really is doing.
Heck, even the weather? I checked the weather reports yesterday. It was suggested that Monday would be 66, Tuesday 64. Not even, say, twelve hours later and... now it is 65 and 67. Wow. They wonder why no one believes they can even forecast a year, let alone a century, down the pike? I haven't been able to find the actual temps, when they happen, and they constantly scrub their old guesses. I understand, it's not a SCIENCE (as it is commonly termed). But then stop acting like it is.
What is left? Ah, reading, gaming, working, cleaning, clearing... when health allows. I don't know. All I know is the news is useless. It isn't informing. It is absolutely avoiding informing. Convergence does that, I guess. But, then, why are all, in spite of knowing that it is disinformation, engaging with it? That is a very good question. Go with the simplest answer, ask your inner child. And... follow that wisdom and advice, and sever ties.
Sunday, June 11, 2017
Wanted?
.
.
Well, maybe not. Though my mother would like me to drive there. I don't think I am actually being read, or it didn't sound like it. But you know how that can go. I did get in touch with her. Oh, I have a school reunion coming up, as well. She is going to check on that. She knows one of the girls... woman... who was in the class ahead of me, but dated a guy in my class... plus. They have a child together. I may have missed it, or am really close to missing it. Not sure. If I can get the cats and watering arranged, I could be there in short order... if I haven't missed it. Crazy. And, my uncle is still going. There is a chance to see him. Well, and other family. It's been a while.
I will have to pack, arrange things, see the doc if possible or at least set that up for next month. It's... getting late. The lawn tractor will just have to wait. Assuming I can get else arranged. Ugh! The idea of travel, seeing family, being a part of the family doings... even the hard ones... it's a good thing. But that hot, humid, Iowa summer... tight. It'll remind me of just how good the weather is here, even when it's too dry to spit. That's a feature, in my world. There is no dry place in Iowa. Later.
.
Well, maybe not. Though my mother would like me to drive there. I don't think I am actually being read, or it didn't sound like it. But you know how that can go. I did get in touch with her. Oh, I have a school reunion coming up, as well. She is going to check on that. She knows one of the girls... woman... who was in the class ahead of me, but dated a guy in my class... plus. They have a child together. I may have missed it, or am really close to missing it. Not sure. If I can get the cats and watering arranged, I could be there in short order... if I haven't missed it. Crazy. And, my uncle is still going. There is a chance to see him. Well, and other family. It's been a while.
I will have to pack, arrange things, see the doc if possible or at least set that up for next month. It's... getting late. The lawn tractor will just have to wait. Assuming I can get else arranged. Ugh! The idea of travel, seeing family, being a part of the family doings... even the hard ones... it's a good thing. But that hot, humid, Iowa summer... tight. It'll remind me of just how good the weather is here, even when it's too dry to spit. That's a feature, in my world. There is no dry place in Iowa. Later.
Can that be for real?
.
.
If the mapping service is correct, the distance is 1,109 miles (always give or take, add 10% just to be sure). If my vehicle gets the same highway miles it usually does, and all else fits, giving gas at $2.50 a gallon, that came out to ~53 gallons of fuel, costing $132. Can that be right? I am really tired. I'll do the numbers again later. If true, then all I have to do is figure out how to get some other things managed, for a while. I would have to have purchase food anyway, so that isn't a real problem. But putting things off for a bit is... But, yeah.
I'll make sure what I thought I heard is what I heard though. And... check some things. I just don't know about this. Maybe having another place or two to stay, just so I don't become too much of a problem any single place? Something. I still don't know. Haven't received a return call. I'm about ready to crash, too. I just can't stay awake. Hmm... depending on timing, might try to get in to see the doctor. Ugh.
I hate it when I was up until 17:00 yesterday, easily, and I am crashing short of that. Progress sucks when it isn't. Then again, most of that notion is bunk. Good night.
.
If the mapping service is correct, the distance is 1,109 miles (always give or take, add 10% just to be sure). If my vehicle gets the same highway miles it usually does, and all else fits, giving gas at $2.50 a gallon, that came out to ~53 gallons of fuel, costing $132. Can that be right? I am really tired. I'll do the numbers again later. If true, then all I have to do is figure out how to get some other things managed, for a while. I would have to have purchase food anyway, so that isn't a real problem. But putting things off for a bit is... But, yeah.
I'll make sure what I thought I heard is what I heard though. And... check some things. I just don't know about this. Maybe having another place or two to stay, just so I don't become too much of a problem any single place? Something. I still don't know. Haven't received a return call. I'm about ready to crash, too. I just can't stay awake. Hmm... depending on timing, might try to get in to see the doctor. Ugh.
I hate it when I was up until 17:00 yesterday, easily, and I am crashing short of that. Progress sucks when it isn't. Then again, most of that notion is bunk. Good night.
It seems I am wanted.
.
.
Well, not in a bad way. At least, I don't think it's a bad way. A funeral, though not the one you might have thought. Or... not yet. Who knows, if I make it back, I might be able to see... everybody else, even my uncle who is ill. It has been a while. The thing is, it changes all my plans, it confuses some things, it sets some things back financially, and I have to figure out about cats, lawn, and plants. Ugh. When did life get so complicated?
I get the feeling that what I wrote about her... was seen there. I had hoped it wouldn't be. I didn't know how they would take it. I know some, there, read from time to time. I suspect they miss much. Or, well, have. In any case, I think they are actively watching now. It unnerves me a bit. Strangers can write it all off. Those who know, some of it... well... People are literally recognized in some music videos. If all of you, who know bits, got together, compared notes, you would find... there is more there than you now imagine. Some of it might be story, or hope, or doubt, fear, etc. More than you would like to know isn't. Still, they watch. It seems to not be a problem. Probably.
I called my mother back, left a message. I am not sure... of anything. I'll need to check how much travel would cost. And, to have any chance at reasonable future plans, even this, I really have to consider all. I couldn't come back until next month, without draining the coffers. But cost of living still... I still have to eat there. It's complicated. We will know more soon. Though it's frustrating to be missing calls. I am worriedly excited.
I'll go see about travel costs, review my accounts, and eventually speak with the folk, all of them, who might or might not have something to do with anything. Ugh. Later.
.
Well, not in a bad way. At least, I don't think it's a bad way. A funeral, though not the one you might have thought. Or... not yet. Who knows, if I make it back, I might be able to see... everybody else, even my uncle who is ill. It has been a while. The thing is, it changes all my plans, it confuses some things, it sets some things back financially, and I have to figure out about cats, lawn, and plants. Ugh. When did life get so complicated?
I get the feeling that what I wrote about her... was seen there. I had hoped it wouldn't be. I didn't know how they would take it. I know some, there, read from time to time. I suspect they miss much. Or, well, have. In any case, I think they are actively watching now. It unnerves me a bit. Strangers can write it all off. Those who know, some of it... well... People are literally recognized in some music videos. If all of you, who know bits, got together, compared notes, you would find... there is more there than you now imagine. Some of it might be story, or hope, or doubt, fear, etc. More than you would like to know isn't. Still, they watch. It seems to not be a problem. Probably.
I called my mother back, left a message. I am not sure... of anything. I'll need to check how much travel would cost. And, to have any chance at reasonable future plans, even this, I really have to consider all. I couldn't come back until next month, without draining the coffers. But cost of living still... I still have to eat there. It's complicated. We will know more soon. Though it's frustrating to be missing calls. I am worriedly excited.
I'll go see about travel costs, review my accounts, and eventually speak with the folk, all of them, who might or might not have something to do with anything. Ugh. Later.
Weather might be part of it.
.
.
Today is supposed to only, outside, get up to 84 F. Tomorrow it is supposed to only get to 66, and Tuesday is supposed to get down to 64. This is June, mind you, and a third into it. How unusual is this? It's... unusual. A storm is coming. Down in the valley, if it does arrive, rain most likely. In the higher elevations? We'll see. Yeah, the thought of snow was in a bundle of dreams or visions or sights after the really big one. Jumbles of oddness, but there it was. I think I wrote about it, if just a quip. Of course... I was sort of mocking my own visions. Sort of. A bit. Well, and a bit frustrated.
I may take a nap in a bit, but hopefully just a nap. The cooling is tiring me. Not much worse than what meds are already doing. Just an extra forty in a fourforty. Or more perhaps an extra hundred and forty in that... yeah. Adds to the stretch, for sure. It is pleasant though. Being sleepy is good, so long as you don't have things to do, pressing matters of home, state, love, or health. I, mostly, don't.
A nap might make it so that I can be awake when I wish to be tomorrow. I want to do some business and some other business, plus I need to make it to the post. I believe I will be closing my amazon prime account. No need for it. I'll just call stores in town when I need something, price shop that way, locate, perhaps even order. I think I can order food online, and just do a drive in pickup. I just... don't trust. They want us old people not to enter, so the kids can play their queer music, and do whatever, I think... without objections.
Well, and they don't like us in there anyway, so it seems. I wonder if they realize, that when we stop actually showing up? Their jobs are done. They will just have packagers. Low wage mexicans, with white delivery people, give or take. No, they don't... think that far ahead. I don't want to order food for that very reason. As much as I really don't like smarmy teens hating on straight white males, it's better than hiring in cubans or haitans, hidden back in there, poorly funded, doing God knows what all to the food, at cut rate prices. It looks like that, really, is what amazon does? Done with them, for the most part. If I simply can't get something anywhere else, though even then there might be better places to use. I think amazon really stuck it to themselves. Though, maybe, they just couldn't keep up? Maybe that is just reality. I don't have the information to know for sure. But... amazon, either way, just cut it's own throat.
Later.
.
Today is supposed to only, outside, get up to 84 F. Tomorrow it is supposed to only get to 66, and Tuesday is supposed to get down to 64. This is June, mind you, and a third into it. How unusual is this? It's... unusual. A storm is coming. Down in the valley, if it does arrive, rain most likely. In the higher elevations? We'll see. Yeah, the thought of snow was in a bundle of dreams or visions or sights after the really big one. Jumbles of oddness, but there it was. I think I wrote about it, if just a quip. Of course... I was sort of mocking my own visions. Sort of. A bit. Well, and a bit frustrated.
I may take a nap in a bit, but hopefully just a nap. The cooling is tiring me. Not much worse than what meds are already doing. Just an extra forty in a fourforty. Or more perhaps an extra hundred and forty in that... yeah. Adds to the stretch, for sure. It is pleasant though. Being sleepy is good, so long as you don't have things to do, pressing matters of home, state, love, or health. I, mostly, don't.
A nap might make it so that I can be awake when I wish to be tomorrow. I want to do some business and some other business, plus I need to make it to the post. I believe I will be closing my amazon prime account. No need for it. I'll just call stores in town when I need something, price shop that way, locate, perhaps even order. I think I can order food online, and just do a drive in pickup. I just... don't trust. They want us old people not to enter, so the kids can play their queer music, and do whatever, I think... without objections.
Well, and they don't like us in there anyway, so it seems. I wonder if they realize, that when we stop actually showing up? Their jobs are done. They will just have packagers. Low wage mexicans, with white delivery people, give or take. No, they don't... think that far ahead. I don't want to order food for that very reason. As much as I really don't like smarmy teens hating on straight white males, it's better than hiring in cubans or haitans, hidden back in there, poorly funded, doing God knows what all to the food, at cut rate prices. It looks like that, really, is what amazon does? Done with them, for the most part. If I simply can't get something anywhere else, though even then there might be better places to use. I think amazon really stuck it to themselves. Though, maybe, they just couldn't keep up? Maybe that is just reality. I don't have the information to know for sure. But... amazon, either way, just cut it's own throat.
Later.
Baby, it's cold out there.
.
.
Depending on what thermometer I check, the readings range from below 70 (as low as the one in the kitchen does) to 72. But it doesn't feel like it. I had to put my thick robe over all, might add sweat bottoms... my winter wear. It... I'm almost getting the notion that I will be seeing my breath before long. Something about this isn't normal.
Now, it could just be... something, something, atmospheric, something, too fast of a change, something, or other. I don't know. Or? Or my body is not doing well. If you can't keep body temp up, the world does feel cold. If it's 80 ambient, but you can't stay warm, even that will feel cool... cold. It doesn't even mean I have to be sick. I have gone through this before, though not terribly recently. It is cold enough that my digits have a bit of pain to them from it, and numbness.
I can't tell if it is me or the weather quite yet. So strange. Now, this isn't a complaint, just a note. I like it cold, as you well know if you read here often enough. The cold is my preference. Hmm? Right.
.
Depending on what thermometer I check, the readings range from below 70 (as low as the one in the kitchen does) to 72. But it doesn't feel like it. I had to put my thick robe over all, might add sweat bottoms... my winter wear. It... I'm almost getting the notion that I will be seeing my breath before long. Something about this isn't normal.
Now, it could just be... something, something, atmospheric, something, too fast of a change, something, or other. I don't know. Or? Or my body is not doing well. If you can't keep body temp up, the world does feel cold. If it's 80 ambient, but you can't stay warm, even that will feel cool... cold. It doesn't even mean I have to be sick. I have gone through this before, though not terribly recently. It is cold enough that my digits have a bit of pain to them from it, and numbness.
I can't tell if it is me or the weather quite yet. So strange. Now, this isn't a complaint, just a note. I like it cold, as you well know if you read here often enough. The cold is my preference. Hmm? Right.
Time can fly.
.
.
I was trying to stay awake until midafternoon. I looked at the clock at about ~11:54, give or take 11 to 3 minutes (back or forward). Then I just started tinkering. Nothing much. A bit of music, a bit of gaming, some blogging and thinking. Next time I looked at the clock it suggested 17:00. I must have lost time, or a sense of it, for it was as if moments, maybe an hour, passed. As I have suggested, here, before, I don't go through time. For me, time drags on. Moments turn to seeming years. Whatever, this was good enough.
I was only able to sleep until half to midnight. And with the time it takes to fall asleep, I only got, maybe, six hours in there. I would have stayed and tried to sleep longer, but a seventeen hour day will see me back to 17:00. I might add a few hours to it. Oh, and the cave is down to 70 (well, when I am not in a room). I generally raise the temp of any room by about two degrees, or more, depending on a few factors.
I have, roughly, started intermittent fasting. One meal a day, or meal time... which spans, for now, up to eight hours. In time I hope to reduce that to a four hour feeding window. I am not all that hungry anymore, so a pound of beef will do. Though some greens in there would be good. I did check my blood sugar the other day, and as expected, it was 208. That is where it stays, pretty much, if I am not eating dozens of donuts and lots of regular soda... which... okay, I have been going on donut binges. But not that recently now. I am guessing, if I can keep to the fasting, and add in three day fasting, by the time I see the doc this next month I should... be in order, or well on the way. I need to remember to take in the tester, and use it regularly. Blood sugar was 238 fasting, today... night... just now.
Later.
.
I was trying to stay awake until midafternoon. I looked at the clock at about ~11:54, give or take 11 to 3 minutes (back or forward). Then I just started tinkering. Nothing much. A bit of music, a bit of gaming, some blogging and thinking. Next time I looked at the clock it suggested 17:00. I must have lost time, or a sense of it, for it was as if moments, maybe an hour, passed. As I have suggested, here, before, I don't go through time. For me, time drags on. Moments turn to seeming years. Whatever, this was good enough.
I was only able to sleep until half to midnight. And with the time it takes to fall asleep, I only got, maybe, six hours in there. I would have stayed and tried to sleep longer, but a seventeen hour day will see me back to 17:00. I might add a few hours to it. Oh, and the cave is down to 70 (well, when I am not in a room). I generally raise the temp of any room by about two degrees, or more, depending on a few factors.
I have, roughly, started intermittent fasting. One meal a day, or meal time... which spans, for now, up to eight hours. In time I hope to reduce that to a four hour feeding window. I am not all that hungry anymore, so a pound of beef will do. Though some greens in there would be good. I did check my blood sugar the other day, and as expected, it was 208. That is where it stays, pretty much, if I am not eating dozens of donuts and lots of regular soda... which... okay, I have been going on donut binges. But not that recently now. I am guessing, if I can keep to the fasting, and add in three day fasting, by the time I see the doc this next month I should... be in order, or well on the way. I need to remember to take in the tester, and use it regularly. Blood sugar was 238 fasting, today... night... just now.
Later.
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