Yeah, bed beckoned a second time.

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I was up until 4:00 or 5:00, then crashed again.  All good, given the givens, that works.  I was down for another three or four hours.  Hmm, technically that was something like a long nap, in the scheme of things.  Today is a day of rest, as will tomorrow be most likely.  I'd still like to do a few things.  We'll see.

Coffee helped, the second time awake.  I need to do some other things, like thaw meat.  Barring that, a trip to town for takeout might work... if I can get up and going to do that.  If I can just begin seeing housework as snow, I might be able to get to it.  The thing is, the cave being cluttered doesn't prevent me from getting out.  Then again, snow doesn't either, unless it is really deep.

Later.

Sleep was good, if a bit long.

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I am feeling much better for it.  I can't swear I will do much now that I am awake, though I have a small list.  First, though, coffee.  Oh, and I now check the driveway first thing.  Thankfully it was clear.

My friend asked, as we were talking before I left, if the temps had just dropped.  I answered him honestly, I didn't think so.  When I returned home, however, I noticed that some ice here and there on the drive and sidewalks, and icicles, had been thawing but were now in the process of freezing again.  A minor but noticeable thaw, so yes, he was actually right.  Not a huge shift, just a few degrees above to a few degrees below freezing.  I'll let him know next time I see him.

I plan to go in Monday.  I have business to do that day as well.  Some on the phone, some in person.  After that, I'll take a few movies over, and my popcorn maker.  I asked if he had the stomach for more intense shows.  He said he could handle Saving Private Ryan.  I suppose that makes him, generally... fairly hardy that way.  Still...  Well, I'll take a few, allow him to pick and choose.  I have a select grouping that suits my nature.  Some of it is much more... ideal than functional, but it's in there.  Some of it is much more literal.

I do feel fairly good.  A bit tired, not quite perfectly medicated quite yet, just off if not terribly.  I'll keep at it.  I still love that I have been able to, mostly, keep up on shoveling.  When I miss, don't think I'm picking or choosing.  Probably just not able to even be aware that the sky has left a little white poop on my stoop.  :p  I know the shoveling has gotten me fitter, tightened up some muscle areas, and just been a pleasure.  Nothing like plugging away as one can.  I'm not dead yet, not fully.

On with my day.  Later.

A bit of a push.

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I thought I could just sweep the drive.  There was too much snow.  Mostly fluff again, between and inch and two, closer to the second mark, maybe over.  Shoveling wasn't too bad.  I hit the frontage area a bit again.  I really am enjoying, if I am not always aware enough to keep right on top of it.  Though is it awareness or function that is missing?  I run until I run down, then I zone out and off.

I wasn't finished with the shoveling.  I called my friend to see about this or that.  I needed to do shopping, buy a shovel, stop and the post office, and just get out.  He needed shopping.  Lunch was just a part of the deal.  I'm stocked up on milk and cream, plus a few extras.  I overate by eating twice in town.  Since I was in so long I figured it would be good to stack in some calories for the recovery.  Yeah, I haven't ever quite recovered from the heavy snow time.  I keep adding to the deficit.  Then again, that might just get me where I want to be, over the hump.  I still think if I can suffer past being out of shape, and work a bit further yet, I might have a chance at... some kind of life.  Doctors think I should do something, but not too much.  And, if I were normal, I think they would be right.

Anyway, it was a good day.  I got everything I intended, and more.  A few prayers of gratitude these last few days, and weeks.  Oh, and a lot of people on my prayer lists, near and far, family, friends, and associates.  Plus the rest of the usual suspects, of good and even ill.  Who needs prayer more than those who don't even seem to know?  That doesn't mean I won't do what I have to do if needed.  Just... I'd rather do so in a clean nature.  Oh... well... a quart of milk then a nap?  Yeah, maybe.  Later.

Food, medicine, all else.

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Hit and miss.  Yeah, I know, I know, I do.  It doesn't matter.  Want, wish, push, try, arrange...  Either it works or it doesn't.  Thankfully, to point, it isn't fatal.  It will be, or something will be, eventually.  But then, for a thousand and one reasons, I'm already here on and impossible lend-lease program.

I've been thinking about secular notions of God, heaven, hell, and else lately.  Movies, such as Constantine, and shows such as Supernatural, give very short shrift to the writings and teachings out there.  Definitely of Judaeo-Christian understandings.  Then again, in a world of female Christian ministers, politically correct sins, and all else, it's difficult to take anything seriously.  No church hasn't been infected, if that has always been the case.  The depth of the infection is quite serious these days.  It even seems to be that the church is trying to play kingmaker among the worldly, and join in worldliness.  The church keeps forgetting, the world will not suffer it no matter what it does.  Putting it's head in a noose will not win it any favors, only death for those who do and some who don't go along.

Sins aren't something that can be ignored or simply gotten past.  You really need to know what your sins are and learn how to release them both from your life, and their stain from your soul.  You will not enter heaven with the taint of sin.  While Christ can release that, you have to let Him, and have to know what they are.  It amazes me how many people think one thing is a sin while another thing that is not a sin is hate-worthy.  There is the notion of causing a scandal.  The only thing you can do in that situation is to turn your back on someone.  If you are a right Christian, you have a good reason to turn your back on most of the world, including many who claim to be Christians.  Do it too much and you will find yourself alone, on a hill, praying for the end.  I don't think that is quite where to go either.  So, where is the medium, the right place between total involvement and total isolation?  I don't know that.  I just slog through, doing my best.  Heaven knows, I'm definitely facing a lot of backs, some from the Christian world, many from the non-Christian world.  I'm good with that, too.  I am, and live, as I find to be right.  I fail, I fall, and I get back up, with God's and his children's help.  Always amazes me what a kind or right (even corrective) word can do.

Anyway... I'll keep at it.  Perhaps the cold, or serious lack of sun lately, has me a bit off.  Or maybe it's meds, or food, or... a mix of it all.  No worries.  I'm not in pain, I seem to get just enough, I smile and laugh, feel and pray.  It's not bad, it's just not optimal.  If I could get to some cleaning I'd be really happy.  Though, on that, I... think it's a man thing.  We have no clean- sort- straighten- foos.  Shovel?  Sure.  Dig?  Perhaps.  Move things about?  Okay.  Figure out domestic neatness and cleanliness?  At least I become more like a cat a little too close to a vacuum cleaner.  Then I start looking for a dark place to hide and nap.  Even in the Navy, it was slop mop as fast as possible, pour on the other goop, go hide until it dries, then try to forget it ever happened.  Well, and hope one of your "friends" or enemies doesn't decided to strip the wax by wedging your door so you can't stop them, then sliding a paper bag full of shaving cream under your door and stomping on it... the shaving cream destroying the wax coating.  Yeah.  I liked some parts of the Navy.  And payback.

Later.

Nothing but fluff.

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It was as it seemed.  Still, I was a bit afraid.  That wasn't what kept me from going out.  I simply couldn't get out until I did.  It was on my mind the whole time though.  I have done well.  Still, I fear next time there is a real challenge I might not be up for it.  This one took merely a broom.  I need to get a new shop broom, and some bolts.  The one I have has lost the bolts on both sides, so only the handle sort of holds it all together.  Yeah, another one and two more bolts to fix this one, and it should be good again.  It worked though.  Much of it had blown off, or perhaps some of it melted/dehydtrated off?  Not sure.  Only about two thirds of the drive and half of the sidewalk needed sweeping.

Now for some food!  I am hungry.  Hunger comes and goes.  Some days I could and do eat anything and everything, if usually, or often enough anyway, I can't bring myself to eat.  Today is an eat day.  Oh, and it is cooler out there.  It is just above 0 F.  There is a bit of a breeze too, or it seemed like it.  All good by me, I like it a bit cooler.

Later.

Hungry.

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I've been thinking about flying for takeout.  I have to do the driveway first.  If I don't do takeout, then I need to shower.  All I know is that I am very hungry.  Later.

Cold, a bit more snow, changing schedules.

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Nothing major.  It has been below freezing for some number of days now, to the best of my ability to notice.  How can I tell since I haven't been checking the readings?  Icicles have collected and stayed, lots of them.  The furnace and how the attics work creates just enough heat to cause some flow.  If it stays cold, those icicles simply collect and grow.  As well, just the feel of it.  Oh, I don't mind the cold.  It's as good for me as the heat is for some older folks.

More snow has fallen.  I think I can get to it, probably later today.  It isn't too much.  And, if I am right and it has been cold, it won't be too much fuss to remove.  I can't be sure when it arrived, I lost track a bit.  All good though.  Seriously, looking forward to it.  I think.

And, while I'm at it, I am trying to work my schedule back around to days.  When it is cold, consistently... when it is dark, if the last few days have been brighter, and when this and that?  My schedule can spin like a prop on an old plain.  No worries, I just keep at it, keep trying, keep going, or rest until I can do those things.  All good.  Later... or actually good night.  I'll try to hit noon, then crash.  Hmm, don't think I'll make noon, but 10:30 isn't too bad, I guess.  Yeah, good "night".

Sort of sad.

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So many politi-blogs are proving they are exactly what they have been saying they were fighting.  They are bought and paid political hacks.  They choose their side based on who is paying the best or who will support those who support them, not on what is right.  It is absolutely obvious.

The hate poured on Trump is often nothing more than the fact that he won't promise to handcuff himself to politics as usual, status quo.  He won't give typical Republican "friends" the friends discount.  Nor will he agree to work with Dems on the big ticket items that we (the elite) know we need, such as an immigration invasion, the spending of tax money for everything and anything, though the more useless the expenditure the seeming better (again, according to elites).  The elites discussed aren't even American.  American fat-cats are given no more credence than we are.  No, the ones who own the parties are the multi-national mega-corporations.  They aren't our friends, they aren't anybodies friends.  They are out to take every nickle and dime even if it murders nations, morality, etc.  Actually, I think that is part of their game.  One church, but a dead one.  One nation, but one that simply operates for the good of the elites.  One currency, but in an economy that is a zombie.

It is plain to see.  Any "conservative" site that is pro-amnesty, pro-open border, is not pro-American.  Any group that uses zombie "pro-life" groups who have not succeeded in anything, except sucking money from suckers, and using other religious groups to lead as a pied piper... not good.  It's plain.  Easy to spot.

While you can't put much stock in politics, if you can't put any in it, you are in trouble.  We will see how this works out.  But it's not looking good.  You hear Americans barking about the immigration war in Europe.  Most don't seem to realize we have more here.  Further, our government refuses to even examine how many are actually even here.  More than Europe, how many more is anybody's guess.  Pointing fingers while blindfolded, with earplugs, and an attitude when anyone points out the truth.  Yeah, we will see how this works.

Why Trump?  He is the only one who even offers to shut the border.  His two closest competitors are from the demographic that would be targeted.  And you wonder why we have problems?  Imagine if Europeans were voting for muslims.  Yeah, that is what we have here.  And still they point and rant about Europe?

Later.

Well, some of it.

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Trash out, and recycling if I am not sure that goes today.  Still, just in case, and because I may be crashing shortly.  A shower last evening, then dishes to soak.  The laundry is about to pass through, though I had to break it up into two loads for the dryer.  Some clothes were still in the dryer from... who knows.  They were dry, though, so all good.  It's having wet clothes anywhere that can be a problem.  Bits and pieces, but my days and nights are still off.  Oh, and yeah... I get some of my medicine down and lose track of the other.  I'm... right on that.  I think I am just one shift off, so I might be able to get that righted before it gets too wrong.

It's as good as it gets for now.  I'll keep at it.  Later, or more likely good "night".

Interesting song.

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False, in it's final analysis, but interesting.

It won't be by holding hands.  Each, on our own.  Some have not been allowed to go, others who have not wished to go have gone.  On our own, alone, each of us.  The only place you can go as a group, the only place you can help others find, is the one place you don't want to find yourself.

Pretty rough still.

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It can't just be the medicines, can it?  Maybe.  I'm thinking probably not though.  My diet might have something to do with it, though that can't be all of it, or even a large portion.  Achy, headaches, temp fluctuation, flu-like but definitely not the flu.  Just not the right collection of extra symptoms.  Never mind.  I'll keep resting as I must, eating as I can, taking medicine, and praying.  Oh, right, and dark thoughts and dreams seem to be making their presence known.  I won't tell you there is any truth in there.  I will only tell you that I believe there is.

Having the devil want you in his club is a seriously bad thing.  What he seems to have on offer, however, is... well... anything worldly or of flesh.  Empty, dead, no matter how sexy seeming, addictive, or seeming wanted by the many.  Oh, trust me.  The grandest heaven he can offer truly is smaller than my pride, and I believe I will skip.  If I were to go that way I would eliminate the middle man, and don't think I'm not up to it.  At least an attempt.  Yeah.  I could and I will skip, just not in his direction.  I used to have it, anyway.  I'd rather be a gardener in heaven, or even a statue outside the gates if my kind aren't fully welcome.

Dark things in those dreams, visions, daydreams, and such.  And light too.  God is always there, if I ask.  And I do.  I hide nothing from Him, not even my worst.  I just show and ask.  Trust me, He knows what I don't dare tell you, and I tell you much.  Cool with it?  Nah.  But He does love me, and is patient.  More so than I, though that's not saying much.  Hmm... Not sure... something or other or good night... or day.  I just can't figure things out.