Way late.

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Down around 1:30, I think.  Slept until 15:00.  Woke a few times before, couldn't stay awake.  Ducks first thing... two bins of water.  This time I snuck to a side window, attempting to watch them play.  Every time I'd look in, they would quit playing.  Eventually they did some playing.  Silly ducks.

Fasting blood sugar was 187.  Not prime, better.  Now to eat.  I may bake daikon o'grotten, have a salad while that bakes, then heat ribs with the daikon for the last half hour.  Actually, they are only supposed to take an half hour, so the ribs will just go in with.  I can't say I am hungry, only that food seems right.

Of course, the girls have been fed and watered.  I'll change their litter today.  It's overdue.  The furnace is up.  I'll check the duck water, refilling if need be, perhaps cutting to one fresh bin.  If late I try to spoil them.  As it warms they are eating more.  All good.

Later.

I knew, had to be.

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I've been nibbling all day.  Breakfast, fatted teas, jicama, ribs and mushrooms, sweetened tea, and probably other things?  So, yeah.  Blood sugar was going to be high.  Why even look if you already know?  Well, because.  Fears can't be fixed, only problems, only if you know them, face them.  Sure enough, at 143 it was...  way down?  I am pretty sure that is the best reading since I started testing after falling ill, or close... certainly in the last weeks.

Is it that I wasn't eating enough before, or at times?  Actually, yes.  I think that was part of it.  Deprivation is not good, at least not half measures.  Either fast or... get off the pot.  I mean eat to satisfaction, if the right foods, or fast, don't try to go halvsies.  What else?  Ah, I wasn't eating enough veggies.  They do help clear certain debris, help organs function.  As well, I think apple cider vinegar has been helping... started to work.  I don't get that slow digestion that plagued me so roughly or occasional acid reflux from drinking so much.  Oh, and I am drinking less, down to a gallon or two, from four to six gallons a day.

I don't hit every supplement or consumable every day.  Simply not possible.  Every other, or third, or fifth day.  Or two or three days, then it is forgotten for a bit.  High fats, accelerated omega 3's, and some protein, as well as heavy vegetables now, with almost no other carbs, fast or slow.

Sure was tempted by fast food.  Half the reason I bought beef ribs.  It was used as the carrot since I didn't have a big enough stick.  Carrots and sticks are the only tools which might engage my ass... mule if you must, certainly not donkey.  Glad now that I didn't.  I'll bet I am in solid ketosis too.  Not showing up on the pee sticks, if at this point it probably just means I am fat adapted so my body is using the ketones.

Now to get bp into the green zone.  Can't say I'm not trying.  Good night.

More ribs.

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I truly love those beef ribs.  Steak hasn't been tasting right, not enough fat or something.  It may be grass fed and finished?  A good thing for some.  If this is the result, it isn't what I want.  Perhaps my freezer is of?  Or do steaks have a very short freezer shelf life.  Hmm, or maybe too much fat is being trimmed?  Ugh.

These meat, and heavily fatted, ribs have the flavor I am dying for.  I'll look around for steaks I like.  Something just isn't right.  I also found tàrjin.  I haven't tried it yet, but will yet tonight.  I have the grill about ready.  After the meat is going, I will chop one of the jicama into sticks.  I want to try oven frying some of them too.

Celery and cream cheese has been quite good.  Peanut butter is tasty, but dubious for keto.  So, next month, I will be trying other (real, actually, as peanuts are legumes) nut butters.  Without additives, like crisco type fats, or other vegetable oils.  Avocado, ghee, coconut, olive (I have stopped buying olive oil until I can find some extra virgin that doesn't add other cheap, bad, oils), and animal fats that aren't a mix or highly processed.  It really looks more like they are trying to poison us with food, less like they are merely ignorant.

I may put off fasting for a day.  Finally getting out, with good meats, veggies, and new things to try?  Yeah, maybe two days.  Later.

Stupid sleep.

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Is it sleep, or more staying awake to long.  At the moment I can't be certain.  Little energy is problematic in a way most wouldn't immediately figure.  It isn't making me sleep too long, just the opposite.  Without burning off energy, I simply drift through wakefulness, extending my day.  Not sure what to do about it, except keep trying.

A shower, first thing.  A brushing and irrigation, then maybe a shave?  A start on breakfast first.  Then ducks.  Ugh.  Yes, up late.  Driving lessons this afternoon, I hope.  I am going to keep the chia cereal, but cut it to half a cup of mixed nuts.  Nuts have more of omega 6's, chia and flax have omega 3's.  I need more 3's.  Still, there is some room, and want/need of the nuts.  The more you know the less you know?  Almost.

A bit of snow.  Not sure if I need to shovel, or throw salt.  I don't think the lawn tractor plow is at all practical, too little for that.  We either need more snow or a lot of rain this spring.  We haven't received much this year, more like a light Iowa snow year, so far.  No complaint, just the facts.  Odd how, no matter our worries, things do work out.  The worst is we choose to fail if we become inflexible.  Failing is rarely the end, unless we force it, but an opportunity at something new.  It took me a very long time to... seek a path my body could handle, if the government was working against their own designs... and still are.

Social Security and other benefits are for Americans, not foreigners, not unions.

Anyway, I best get going, get some things done.  Later.

A strange lot?

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A few stood out.

Food experimentation.

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Baked broccoli? It's going as I write.  It isn't something I have made, or to my knowledge had before.  I will try nutritional yeast on a sample.  If that doesn't suit, I'll use an Italian cheese blend.  As well, I am baking daikon radishes, sliced as one would a potato, with a bit of avocado oil, butter, salt, and pepper.  I want to taste these foods as plain as possible.  That is how I learn to know what might go with them, in the dish or beside it.  I plan on adding cheddar to those.

My blood sugar went down to 163, for no good reason.  I have eaten, several times, and consumed regular amounts of tea.  I'll take it.  I suppose I don't have to understand.  Blood pressure is very high, I missed medicine this morning, if that couldn't be the only problem.

I received and used the oral irrigator today, after my first brushing.  Salt and baking powder in solution, then a few drops of iodine.  I need a lot less of the settled solution. Perhaps a cup, maybe two.  I just didn't know up front.  The plan is to use it, with iodine, twice a day for two weeks, then once a week... barring problems.  Yes, it darkens teeth, wherever plaque or roots show.  I will get over that.

Dinner was served.  Great?  No.  But not bad.  I liked the daikon radish ogrotten best. It isn't a potato twin, more just it's own thing.  I liked it both ways.  The broccoli was better with the nutritional yeast, but would be better with cheddar or various other cheeses like cheddar.  But this is a reasonable side dish as is.  I'll finish the last of the broccoli.  There wasn't all that much, so I may have a cup of assorted nuts as well.

Later.

Wasn't sure.

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Back to bed at 4:00.  No clue when I would wake.  So far it looks like 10:30... assuming I am able to remain conscious.

A shower, perhaps some cleaning in there first.  Then I will think about things.  I am not exactly sure what all is wrong, I just know I am exhausted without reason, beyond reason, and even with right eating, reasonably good sleep, and medicine back on very good schedule, my stats are remaining awful.  Fasting, starting Saturday, is the last weapon in my inventory.  I will give it a couple shots before looking elsewhere.

Perhaps the new stuff I am trying isn't as compatible with keto as advertised.  Or is good, generally, only not for those with insulin resistance?  Most who try keto aren't coming at it with diabetes.  I will have to start weighing my foods, looking at exact macros, figuring out if fiber can be counted against carbs, at all, for me or not.  I won't be limiting, just weighing and logging.  I have been watching, guestimating, but that isn't good enough.

The thing either on my side, or against me, is my size.  I really am required, if not double at least nearing that number of calories over standard recommendations.  This includes macros?  If 20 carbs are generally good, I'm better at 30 to 40.  Though the ratio of that being 5 %  of total calories is more important.  Unless... 20 is 20 is 20?

I also need to keep intermittent fasting on track.  That has been troubling lately.  I can't focus, keep in sync.  It isn't that I am too cold.  This year, for the first in a long time, I am dressing warmly.  Socks, two pair if needed, long underwear and pants or pj's, at least a shirt, sometimes another shirt a sweater or a jacket, keeping the furnace right for sleeping then waking.  It's not perfect, but this is the best year I can remember.  It isn't helping, or as much as I had hoped.  But I know the cold can shut me down, but that isn't it.

Hmm... though part of the reason for better dressing is because I go out at least daily for the ducks.  I believed that would be good fot me.  I think it is.  Just noting one difference this year.  Yes, tending creatures, and going out in the weather, are very good for you.  It might limit, complicate, humilitate, but... these are all goods, as I see things.  Probably got me over the severe flu quicker this year, if I had to bet.

Hmm, the flu may still be a part of it.  Something that rough may just have gotten to me too deeply.  Though, maybe not.  Why bother looking?  I want to get better, and believe it is possible.  I refuse to quit, even if I can barely stand long enough to shower. I will not stop contemplating, acting on possibilities when able.  Ugh, though.  Later.

Not as planned.

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Down to plan C, or D?  Nothing is quite working out.  The initial plan was to sleep later at night.  Couldn't do much.  Crashed anyway.  At just after 18:00 I lost control, had to sleep.  The plan, then, was to sleep the night.  Nope.  Sirens?  I definitely heard them a couple times while awake.  That might have awaken me.  No problem, just not sure.  Perhaps it was merely going to bed too early.

All good.  I woke hungry.  Daikon radish slices and then pistachios.  Still hungry, thinking of fatted tea, maybe something else... baked broccoli?  Meat sounds better, I just don't want that much fuss.  Baked broccoli is probably to much.  Maybe chia pudding?  That stuff isn't bad... adding a cup of mixed nuts and seeds really turns it into a far superior cereal replacement.  The only negative is that it takes an hour to soak.  I have heard it can be prepared ahead, stored in an airtight container overnight, but I'm not sure.  Soaking some now, might as well.

I am not sure why blood sugar isn't falling.  Then again, I think multiday fasting, and several episodes of it close together has been required.  I am planning Saturday thrugh Monday or Tuesday.  I'll have meats and veggies gone by then.  No ketonics either, just tea, plain.  After that, I may hit a fat fast... essentially half my normal calories but at as close to, or over if possible, 90% fat.  A few days of that then back to standard keto, 60~70 % fat, 35~25 % protein, and 5 % carbs (or less).

Later, or good night.

Snow.

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Down after 4:00, up at noon.  I woke at about 8:30, if I had to guess.  Someone in the house.  I couldn't be absolutely sure, if I do believe so.  Maybe they needed the extension cord for the compressor, as the lawn tractor front right tire was down... again.  I really ought to see about taking that off, getting it in and repaired.  Worth a shot, if I could get to it.

I wasn't really able to wake until noon thirty.  Ducks have been fed and watered.  And the snow has been removed, I think by the brothers.  I think I called out.  No response but they did hear me.  No worries.  I can sort of tell things, heard them talking a bit, heard my name and the snow machine and probably the compressor.

I'm in rough shape.  Mostly just exhaustion.  Bp and blood sugar are elevated in spite of limited good food and taking medicine.  I'll... keep at it.  I need to do shopping soon, again.  I have a list ready, mostly.  I'll keep at it... pushing even if I don't seem to be getting anywhere.  Later.

Yeah, well, I'm... trying.

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I am getting to things.  Small things, and slowly.

I am starting to get to things.  Checking on the ducks several times.  Some cleaning.  Getting trash bins reset, while collecting trash and recycling, plus doing work in the bathroom.  As well as creating a list for my next shopping trip and thinking of ways to try jicama and daikan radishes as potato replacement, hoping I can do something like scalloped mock potatoes.  I'm... afraid.  A lot of work down the drain if the dish ends up inedible.

Hmm? Well...

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Down late, up late.  Not preferred but at least it makes sense.  A longer, twelve hour, sleep.  But it was good, needed, and restful.  I wake without aches, pains, grogginess, and in fair to better conditions.  Blood sugar remains just above the line.  Ugh.  I don't know about blood pressure, I like to wait an hour after meds before checking that.

The ducks were fed and watered.  I have broken two of the four bins, but these are holding up better than the other kind by weeks.  As well, I pushed the limits on the last one.  A little easier handling would have spared it.  I am amazed how well these do last.

I may buy a few more next time I am in.  In the summer I have a bigger one.  Once a fence is up, I'll just keep that full, plus see about one of these bins on the side.  Less fighting over use.  Perhaps a bigger pool though, instead?

As well, I do believe if I can get one of the hens to go broody I will let her have a batch.  The trick is, I may have to separate the mother and hatchlings, or the other ducks may kill the little ones.  I'm not absolutely sure, may depend on breed.  A separate 'yard' shouldn't be too difficult.  And I have materials for a small private hutch, as well as enough fencing materials... probably.  I need more ducks, and perhaps my source for these could use some.  I wonder if they bear about equal numbers by sex?  Strange, given that one drake needs several hens... perhaps to offer options, a hierarchy, and backup if all else fails?  Learning as I go.

Oh, the man who had the heart attack is doing better.  He is in rehab, but on the way out.  Bet he didn't see rehab in his future!  I got to speak with him.  Actually aimed for that.  Missed the first time I called my mother, caught the right time the second time I called... and she could answer.  Yeah, I am tricky that way.

Hmm?  Later.

Late and slow.

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To bed early, by... before... 21:30.  Sleep was great.  Dreams, good ones by waking sensations, but lost to that very waking.  A comfortable morning, no pain.  I actually suspect this is due to adding vegetables.  I will keep at it.  Blood sugar is a bit lower today.  I won't be checking bp for an hour, just took meds.

Ducks were watered and fed.  They ate quite well yesterday.  It looked nice outside. I was sure it would be wonderful.  And it was, if you like freezing your but off.  Thermometer read 20°  F, but it felt crisper.  Being late to get them water, I put two water bins out.  They have a ball when I bring them water.  I can't watch them or they quit.  Once out of sight, they splash and play like children in the summer.  With two water bins they play even more.

Yes, today I am feeling much better.  I'll have a salad shortly, do some cleaning in the bathroom, take another shower, set up dishes, then do more folding.  I've been doing this and that, just not well, fast, or frequently.  I'll try to get back to it.  As well, a rosary today.  Yeah, it is a good thing to add in.  It costs time, but the time spent makes up, easily, for itself by supporting will and focus and somehow increasing a sense of rest within the body.

Hmm... a salad and ribs.  Just a few of those is super, the salad ends as, if expensive, filler.  Tonight I hope to make broccoli and cabbage sous vide, all I have.  Some broccoli packs will be frozen, to see if that really works (doesn't with cabbage, but fridge will do okay for a week or two?).  I'll begin working to have veggies more easily available.  I simply can't keep fresh on hand and newly cooked.  But this?  Maybe.

Later.

Something is just off.

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Bp is high, blood sugar is also staying high.  Eating is controlled, medicine is good.  I have missed a night group yesterday, but have been doing well otherwise for several days.  I'm not sure what the problem is.  Tired, absolutely swamped today.  I may have to nap.

I called my mother but she didn't answer.  She may be at work or at the hospital.  I have heard no news about her friend.  Usually that is good, though not always.  She hasn't returned the call, and it sounded as if it was clicked off after ringing through.  No offense as if that would matter, just a note.

A visitor.  I was given a leg and thigh from a massive turkey.  Given how long they were fed out, the cost of such a homegrown bird would be... immense.  The male got up to seventy pounds.  They were praying he didn't die before they could deal with him.  They had to part him, to big to roast in almost any oven, certainly for any they had access.

I gave two bags of feed for them to try.  As well, a jicama?  Pronounced as such, almost.  Mexican's can't say "j", or don't have it, as in English.  It is pronounced as hick a ma.  Is that a Spanish language issue, or native to Mexico though?  Anyway, it turned out to be a surprise hit.  His mission had been down there.  He liked these greatly.  Since returning, he had been unable to find these in good shape or at a reasonable price.  That has changed.  I hope his wife ends up liking them.  Or she'll kill me.  :p

Salad, with diced jicama, mushrooms, nutritional yeast, cheddar, avocado, and vinaigrette.  Then three bone in beef ribs.  A fantastic dinner.  Stuffed but not overfull... mostly.  The ribs taste exceptionally sweet, as if sugared.  Though the first batch, five of them, I ate were party to my blood sugar falling.  So strange for them to taste so sweet.  Actually, my blood sugar dropped again, by twenty five points.

I much prefer jicama sliced then eaten as other fresh raw vegetables.  Ranch or other dressings would be good.  Perhaps nutbutters?  Not sure about cream cheese but I'll be happy to try.  As to taste, raw?  I would say a split between a potato (tastes starchy but isn't), an apple, and a less sweet pear.  I am hoping cooked, baked, and fried will be as good.

Good night.

Late but at it.

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Way late, back to my old schedule, as if it continued advancing.  Ducks have been watered and fed.  The have a blast with fresh water.  I gave them fresh leaves recently, for flooring.  Their roosting hay is fine.  They keep it clean and there is enough for a dozen ducks.  They all seem to roost as a tight group.

I purchased fresh vegetables last night.  Some to be cooked, some to be eaten raw.  I am pretty sure I can't eat six to nine cups a day.  Six on a spectacular day.  But how would one even keep that much fresh on hand.  Refrigerator space is just one of the problems.  Cost is another.  No, but I can definitely improve that area.

Celery used to be a problem.  I knew regular peanut butter was bad.  But with fats becoming a want, cream cheese is one solid add.  Not necessarily a snack, but a side dish.  I am trying to get to two meals, filling meals, a day, minus snacks.  If anything, using ketonics both as food supplements but also as a form of snack.  I guess no solid food snack.

Grilled ribs last night.  And three cups of spinach and baby kale, with avocado, mushrooms, cheese, and a vinaigrette.  Something about steak, and other meats, just isn't working.  It's all off.  But those ribs were spot on.  Salad is salad, what can I say.  Perhaps keto cereal, four celery stalks, and three ounces of cream cheese for breakfast, left over ribs and have that sized salad for dinner?  Sure.  I am aiming to cut the keto cereal (chia pudding) down.  I'll try two heaping tablespoons, three?  I'll keep the added nuts and seeds to that old standard... a cup, roughly, plus a tablespoon of flax seed.

First though, an a.c. vinegar ketonic.  I try to do those daily, am trying to get one before each meal... keep losing track.  I did try that with lemon juice too, but both lemon and lime juice jack my blood sugar.  If I can get blood readings in order, I may try those again.  It really makes the vinegar more like a treat than a medicine.  Oh, speaking of medicine...

Later.