Can't sleep.

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Somewhere near morn's light and I am still awake.  It's not gaming, I see.  I think I stopped playing at... 22:00?  Perhaps 23:30.  No.  I am actually considering just playing more, since sleep will not happen.  The girls are a bit perturbed.  They like a rest time, of darkness and quiet.  Something that doesn't exist while I yet wake.  I can't do much about it, not in my hands to change some things.  It's icky, but...  Some days, or nights is it?, are like that.

Twisting in the wind.

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Perhaps starting medicine up has thrown things off?  Since starting it back up my mornings have slipped to early afternoons, and counting.  This is pretty potent stuff though, so... yeah.  With new insulin in, I have switched to a new vial this month, at a slightly reduced dose due to the age of the old one.  I suppose a confluence of events have lead me to allowing myself to be eaten by gaming.  Couldn't do much else, so...  I have done as much exploring as warring in the game.  I like to figure out not just how, but why.  Not so much the story line, that is, supposedly, hidden in the game.  But it doesn't effect the why.  And, if you know anything about stories, you know that they are based as much on the teller's perspective as anything else.  They must be deciphered, and compared with contrasting 'testimony' to provide a fuller notion of the truth.  As well, some understanding of the story teller must be obtained through interaction in order to gauge veracity, and some other things.  That isn't really provided, so, to me, the story is... not of much use, at least in this game.  I, personally, have worked to allow you some of that here.  And yet, often, you may just have to go along for the ride, or get off before the twists and turns burn your mind or soul.  You do need to be at least "^" this tall to ride. 

Just a bit sore today, and yesterday, maybe the day before.  Minor aches.  Bone, seeming, with some slight muscle ache along for the ride.  All good though.  I've definitely had worse.  I like these little pains, they remind me that I am alive.

I have been keeping up on the girls, I have been eating something every day, when I figured out medicine had been sidelined, I picked that back up and am on track with it.  Essentially, I am doing quite well for not doing very well.  I won't complain.  A shower... however... would be a kindness indeed.  I am figuring out how to face the world enough to make that happen, hopefully today.  I have some other things I would like to do as well.  Hmm... bacon and eggs later?  Sure!  Oh, I have been told I have an appointment soon.  I tried to call Thursday, but completely forgot Friday.  I'll... have to check the mail, to see if I received a card.  I received a call, but it didn't say with who, or when.  I can't be there if I don't know that information.  I know I have something the mid-month, but this?  It'll be hell being there, if it is early, but I'll do my best(est). 

Well... on to the day.  I suspect, when I get these two toons through the game, which will be a bit yet as there is much prep, but... when I do, I can relax on gaming and take my foot off the gas.  I'm a game sprinter.  Or... I game like I used to drink.  Once started, the idea was to hit it hard and go until it was done.  Burn, baby...  Actually, I hit everything like that.  Work, academia... women.  Thankfully, for the most part in life, I have... learned to moderate in most things.  Only, when I am ill, a certain variety of it anyway, and hit this... I get stuck in overdrive.  *zoom-zoom*

Later.

Music, her, and some thoughts.

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Thinking, lately.  Dreaming too.  I played a song not too long ago which... kept coming up and troubling me.  Aye, deeply.  Finally I thought it through.  Mostly.

Finally.

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Took all day to level the caster to have enough hit points to survive the confrontation.  Probably went a bit overboard, but...  Added some "breath" too.  But now it takes too much to level.  Not possible, or reasonable more like it, at this point in the game.  Now I just need to get each 'toon ready for the end of this game, and the start of the next game.  Store up on 'in game vittles', kill a few last remaining for improvements, and just do a clean and sweep before killing the final boss, and preparing for a new game.  In the new game I get to keep almost everything.  But the enemies hit a lot harder, but drop more loot.  You can play games where it gets harder, each time, up to seven times... then it stays at that level from then on.  Though... I would have to guess that burnout has to happen rather quickly.

I have my characters up to level 140~150.  Which sounds good, unless you realize that you can go to level 700 plus in the game.  Bleh.  Unless they drop a lot more loot, I don't know how much more leveling I will really end up doing.  That'll burn out your bean.  But, for today, I am done.  Leveling like that burned me right out.  Absolutely mind-numbingly boring repetition.  But... I did what I wanted.  I am so burned out that I just want to push on through to the end, but... that doesn't work well, so I will just quit for the night and see what tomorrow brings.  I can't imagine the people who play this and only get an hour or two a day with which to play. 

Good night.

Leveling a 'toon is no fun.

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The trick is to find an area that yields the greatest desired product in the least amount of time, and do it repeatedly until the desired number of product are obtained.  At the level of my 'toon, cartoon if your are curious... a nickname for characters in games, it takes a very large number of repetitions.  I take breaks once in a while.  Usually just abandoning the game altogether.  This part of the thing is murderously boring.  I would like to say I am half way through, but I can't quite say that.  As I use the "product", the next level costs more, so it's a moving target.  I didn't do the math before hand, and haven't been watching exactly.  I think I have moved up nine levels, and was going to do another eleven, plus five, plus one, so... seventeen.  I decided to only go up another 12 levels.  So... considering... inflation... I am about a third done.  I can skip the singe level, but I really can't skip the others.  So... grind.

A bit more to eat, a little longer rest, then some coffee, time to digest dinner, then back to it.  This game, in some ways, is like life.  If you want it, you can have it, but you WILL pay for it.  Nothing, and I mean nothing, is for free.  Time isn't enough.  You have to put skin into the game.  Some of it you will lose.  Whether muscle, mind, conscience, and other things, you will pay.  The hope is that you can live with what it takes until you can automate the process and let others do the work for less pay but more surety, and just glide.  Unfortunately, with games, there is no easy way.  I may try the boss after six more levels.  Either way, I still want to get another five levels after that attempt.  Bleh.  Later.

Back to dragon slaying.

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When introduced to a problem that seems insoluble, I stop and think.  I look at what others suggest.  I compare that to my experiences.  I look for those who have used the same methods that I use, looking for what they are doing, or have, that is different.  I also look at those who are using things I don't have or haven't used or tried.  I do know what my problem is.  This particular character has too little health.  It also has too little "breath", but I have learned to manage that.  Actually, I have learned to mitigate the health weaknesses on other bosses and situations quite well.  This fight is different.  I may simply have to build up health first.  My techniques are... impressive.  Simply, the window for error recovery is too slim.  And errors will be made.  They can't be, as with other bosses, skipped.  I have room for one error, and that isn't enough.  When this boss realizes you are on the ropes, he becomes excessively aggressive, allowing no chance to recover.  Trust me, I have tried numerous times.  I am surprised I was able to get the tail.  But, then, I learned how to bait a very specific attack.  And then learned how to strike at an extremity and then roll out.  To win, I would have to roll in.  And that is where I get into trouble.

I can't believe I started this game with a caster type, thinking that would be easier.  Well, I suspected it wasn't, but I... liked some of the offerings there.  It did make bringing a character in, on the warrior side of things, a cakewalk.  I have died on only a few bosses, with the second character.  And I have gotten to a similar level in half the hours... though some of it is having a better idea where to go, and using some of the shortcuts in the game more efficiently.  No, they build shortcuts in, so that after some point, you don't have to chew old dirt to get to the payday.  But until you know where you are, where they are, and where they can get you, you waste a lot of time doing double duty on old dirt, regaining what is unnecessary to win again.

This game is demanding, but it isn't difficult after a few efforts and learning what works and what doesn't.  It is highly, though not completely, mathematical.  Not just the application, but the theory.  If you know a + 3b=17 means a = 5 and b = 4, that's good.  But if you know why, the theory, then the Xa + Yb = Z makes sense every time.  A fish, or fishing, at least up to a point.  However, this game also allows for some variability within that theme.  Theory works right up until it doesn't, because of it's own limits or because reality is and theory only tries to encapsulate that with a random amount of failure.  Two different, but related, things.  Trust me.  The theory of the difference between analog and digital, if the truth of that theory is... muddier than any let on.  Digital is just as dirty, only in a cleaner way to the simpler minded.  ~  Never mind!  Gah!

Anyway, I think, what I have to do, is increase my health... A lot.  So... more grinding.  A day or two of just mashing buttons long enough to level up at least a score of times.  At my level, that means triple duty.  Bleh.  At least I have something to do while being able to do nothing.  Yes, yes, one of those theories within a theory that proves that theory is only theory.  Doesn't work in the real world, in spite of being fully operational in a non-standard variation of improbability.  What?  Shut up.  Later!

Awake, finally.

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Could not wake up, but did.  Eventually.  I didn't get to bed at midnight.  Just wouldn't go down.  It was more like 2:00.  Set the alarm for 10:00, heard it, turned it off.  Actually woke within the hour anyway.  A bit of will involved.  Figured it out though.  I've been forgetting medicines.  Not all of them.  Insulin has been going in.  Odd how I can literally forget, or lose track, of this or that, but not all of it.  Just... weird.  Anyway, took a dose this morning and will get back on track on that.  I did see something odd though.  While taking insulin but not other medicine, insulin seems to act as a diuretic(water pill, and at least for me)!  Very very strange.

The body aches, though.  Perhaps sitting to hard, too long.  Perhaps from missing most meds, something is just off.  Skeletal pain, mostly, with a hint of neck muscle thrown in for flavor, minus a headache oddly.  Yes, pain comes in many flavors and I know many of their recipes.  One might suggest I have been collecting recipes all of my days.  I'm just too ill to get about putting some of them together these days.  Still, my goal is to get healthy enough to cook up some of the good stuff.

I'll get back on track.  That hasn't meant much this year, but...  It can mean more than not, at points.  Much more than nothing, if not so much as... well... as very much.  Oh, I think I ended up staying up too late trying to take down that last boss with my caster.  I've tried this and that school of magic, repeatedly.  I've tried dexterity based melee.  I'll... review what others have done and see if, between this and that, I can find a method that works for me.  That is how I got the tail twice.  No one method quite worked, for me, but a combination, and my own experiences and play style, combined to create a formula that actually worked with two very different sets of skills and assets.  It just didn't work out the same for beating the actual boss.  That is why I have two very different 'toons.  I like to suss out the various methods.  The eventual goal is to have a toon that can use anything, then combine those to craft techniques that are tailored to the boss or situation like can be done in no other way.  As with me, or as I was, a specialist jack of all trades.  Only some can do it.  But when done right, for those in the league, it means there is no bridge too far, no wall too high or stout, no impossible.  I realized, in time over time, that Christ was the first, or prime, among us.  Didn't like that answer when I first viewed it, so doubled down... and lost eventually.  None are as good, all others will lose, eventually.

Well... on to... other things.  Good day.

Not much.

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I figured out how to get the tail, and beat, the dragon, with my warrior character.  I went on to get the tail with the caster *gimp* but can't seem to find a way to beat the dragon.  Fair enough, this boss is resistant to the main spell groups.  But even the backups don't work, and that character just doesn't seem to have enough mojo to survive long enough to wait out opportunities.  I even found the best weapon for that setup, and modified it to be as good as I can make it.  Nope.  Still, I have two tails and one win, so far.  I won't quit at this point.  Some times it just takes... time... and lots of death.  I know that from real life. *grins*

I was afraid I wouldn't be able to sleep very early.  While it isn't early, technically, considering my very long nap, it is.  Midnight.  But I am bushed.  I will sleep quite well, I do believe.  Rain has set in, and is happening pretty much ever day, for large parts of the day.  It's cool, and dark.  It is how I like it but it also seems to be doubling down on my cripple-itis.  So be it.  I'll just continue to game and look for opportunities for more.

Sleep well.

Long nap.

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Too long.  Must have needed the sleep.  I fiddled with the alarm, to no good ends.  And dreamed.  Exactly what, I can't say, but some notions remain.  Music is probably the best way to express these things.

Up way too early.

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I've actually been up since 4:30.  Don't know why.  I didn't go to bed until after midnight, which is still earlier than of late, if still later than I... intend.  I set the alarm for 9:00, I think.  I really do need eight hours of sleep, I work... more normally.  Not optimally, that requires four to six hours of sleep.  But optimal sucks.  I'm too old to be keeping myself mean and lean in enough areas to play king.  Hungry, tired, sore, with grudges to bear, and some other things, and I could do much.  The price, however, was that I was a stone cold sob.  But I got the job done, any of them, all of them.  It's the price for a tinkering sword sell.  Too old, now I just play it once in a while.

Seriously?

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Feed the beast and you get output, perhaps.  I went to bed a and hour and a half to two hours earlier than I have been lately.  I think it was right at 23:00, which means more like 22:30-45.  Though the alarm is set enough ahead that 23:00 works as a baseline.  I set the alarm for right at eight hours and... pop.  I heard the alarm right away.  So dark at that time!  I love the dark, just not used to waking in it.  I hit the snooze just to... figure... some things out.  I'm not used to new or different things, and the dark is new... at least for waking into.  I seemed to take forever to grasp the new paradigm.  Then rose.  Didn't really need the snooze for sleep purposes, just... to figure, calibrate.  Must not have been too long, I woke before the snooze went off and then shut the alarm off altogether before it had time to annoy me.  Right at 7:00, plus almost a snooze bar timer.

Today?  I don't know.  If it is overcast and raining, I doubt if my friend will want to go shooting.  Still, I may go into town in either case.  I have a few things to send, and could visit at his home.  Maybe a lunch somewhere.  And I would like to get the dryer sorted out.  It's already Tuesday, for heaven's sake!  The week started without me, again.  I won't, this time, if I can help it, run away from me.  No, I'll be tagging along if I can.  Hard is the beast that lives in the shadows, but shyer than the world might think.  Not looking for a fight, just unwilling to placate a bully, thug, or undue harshness.  I'll take my dues, but no more.

The mind is whirring.  All dressed up with nowhere to go and only one hand on the wheel?  Something along those lines.  Coffee should be ready, and it sounds good, is needed.  Get on to life folks.  It won't wait.  Be well.  Later.

Hey, what do you know?

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It looks like bedtime will be early.  At least earlier than it has been.  I don't know if that means I can push my morning back too?  One thing at a time.  And I will set the alarm for an eight hour sleep.  Though, with all, I may need just a bit more.  I've been shaving sleep rather tightly, lately.  Couldn't help it.  The game called.  I was at a point where I was trying to get a number of options arranged, and was in a flurry to get those done so as to get a primary goal done.  As it turned out, I fussed for no real good reason... or my fussing paid off in spades... never sure are we?

I am now to a point, in the game, where I have four or five bosses remaining.  My first character is stuck.  Not so much on a boss, but a dragon boss's tail.  Yes, you can cut those off and use them for weapons.  My kind of game, I'll tell you.  The problem is, I just can't seem to do it.  I want to try it with this new toon and see if melee heavy works better.  If so, I'll... grind my first character enough to use some of the heavies.  Or... just skip it this time... or just try with what I have.  I want to see it done, and how.  Oh... just game stuff, but... when it's all you have, it is important.

Tomorrow I suggested a day of shooting.  And, if I can, I plan on it.  While out, I am hoping to send a package and a card.  Late, very late, but...  Perhaps I'll take my chrony with, as well.  Just to play with it, while out.  Of course, that means putting batteries in, taking the tripod, and that along with a couple of firearms.  The chrony isn't so much for pistols, but it is easier to train on it with those than it is for it's intended work.  Gotta start somewhere.  I just wish .22 rifle would come back into easy access.  A heavier pistol, and the .22, when ammunition is reasonable, and I get off light for a day of shooting.  As is, the cheapest is 9 mm, the heavier, for the moment, is .45.  To get a reasonable shoot in, I need both, and a box or two of ammunition.  Bleh.  If reloading saved, I'd do it. 

Well... on to bed.  Good night.

No, not much.

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I did get the trash out.  Wait, I did that last night.  Okay, so I haven't done a thing.  Hmm, I did call my mom.  Right as she was about to press the call button to talk to me.  We used to do that often.  Every other call, and sometimes even more frequently.  So far back that phones were not even digital.  Remember when you had to twist the rotor with your finger?  That... was annoying, especially if that particular phone had a really strong rotor resistance.  Anyway...  A good omen?  Definitely nostalgic on a number of fronts.

Then I received a call from my friend.  It seems he no longer trusts me.  Something to do with a recent post, would be my guess.  He has assisted with certain things, but will no longer do so.  Very well.  I guess I'll just have to get busy on another end of things.  So be it.  He is still a friend, just not as functional.  I wish he had told me a bit ago.  But... that's the way it goes, I suppose.

Not much else will happen today.  Tomorrow I am hoping to get out.  The rest of the week is up in the air.  Perhaps I could get some of the little jobs going again, but... I don't know.  That is the hope.  Fall is about to set in hard, I think, and it looks to be a wet one.  It's been a cool summer, definitely compared to last year.  But that doesn't always really suggest much about winter, not often enough to be sure.  I was too messed up restarting medicine to remember last winter well, though I thought it was just fine.  Not too cold, not too snowy usually, a few rough patches, but... not a bad season... from what I remember.

I best get on to something or other.  I've sort of hit a place in my game where I could go on, or I could level a bit, or... And I just don't have a great feeling about any of it.  I leveled my second character from the melee side, the first character from the spell side of the game, and they are merging.  Eventually, if you play enough, you will, effectively, max out your character.  There are ways to cheat, and ways that require online play but aren't, quite, technically, cheating (but are).  I like to do things as they were meant to be done.  It does take longer, and some of it is a bit of a stretch.  But, it is within the parameters of the game, what I do.  And, usually, when I stretch, it is because I have pretty much zapped the game, and am down to looking for a few scraps to fill something else out.  Live how you play, and vice versa, I suppose.  I don't care for pvp'ers.  They pretty much strip mine the game for their tidbits, and cause developers to constantly change things because "it's not fair!", or something.  I wish I could find this game, unupdated, and just play it offline.  They have ruined much for pve'ers, with their constant whining.  Bleh.

Oh, but, on to a bit more gaming, I suppose.  If I can pull it together, I might make burritos later this evening, and maybe see if lint is the problem with the dryer.  It is old, very old.  Like... decades old.  But I really like it.  I think I love the thing.  It's big, it works well when it works, and it's simple.  If, or when, it fails... and if it isn't fixable... I will not buy one of those eco dryers.  I will buy as close to the same type as I can find.  A big brute that can eat em' and spit em' out without muss or fuss.  This techy stuff, like my washer, are generally crap.  You pay more and get less.  Caveat emptor!

Later.

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Oh, I had a visitor.  A mother her (two of them anyway) young ones.  She seemed... surprised.  Wrong door, or so it seems.  It may have been... an investigation.  No, not a legal one, a social one.  Sussing out Doom, checking to see just who... that man is.  Or, who lived there.  The surprise would fit.  No one ever expects the Spanish Inquisition!  :)

Late and early seems to be a pattern.

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I tried to break it last night.  I was well on the way.  Then... disaster struck.  I got a second wind.  Maybe a third.  The second hadn't actually died out so I can't be quite sure if it just strengthened a bit or another force was added.  I didn't think I would be up early today, though.  So I took the trash out last night, to the curb.  That... realllllllllllly needs to go.  I should bleach the bin, too.  And the indoor trash can, while I am at it.  Nasty.  Even so, or maybe because of it, I woke right at 8:30 this morning.  I didn't set the alarm.  The girls, for whatever reason, have been waking me right at 8:30.  They know they won't get fed, and don't try.  So... I'm not sure what their angel is.  Perhaps to be more sure to be fed at noon?  I have been pretty regular about that, assuming I wake early enough.  And they let me know when it is noon, leaving me alone until then.  So... I've been adding daily treats at about 19:00.

The girls are quite pleased with me.  They have been keeping themselves pristine, and interacting in... a loverly way.  Not as if they were into their cycle and a tom, any tom, would do.  No, this is... like... when your sister or mom or aunt is being extremely nice to you, more so when you don't know why.  It's been like this for days.  Their Sunday best, a smile always, and kindly affection.  I'm always suspicious when women folk are nice.  They don't just give that away, you know!  :)  Thankfully, felines can't drive, don't use cash, and won't eat frozen foods.  So... I don't know what's all up.

They are usually pretty good.  But, this is different.  This is them on their absolute best behavior.  And they have been like this for a while.  I'm not even, usually, letting them sleep in with me very often.  Don't know.

This week?  Don't know, but nothing today, probably.  The notion is good, I am just not ready.  It looks overcast too.  Tomorrow I hope to get out.  Either to go shooting or to visit my friend in town.  I ought to clean my guns.  I ought to do a lot of things.  I doubt if I will do much, but...  I am looking for opportunity to do a few things.  We'll see.  Later.

Good morning.

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Late, again, last night.  And... relatively early this morning.  But my morning started just a bit later than what I had hoped.  I have to focus on changing my bedtime, pushing that back.  We will see.

Today is another day of rest.  I will do a few things, if I can.  But I am not counting on much.  I do need to get the trash, and maybe recycling, to the bin tomorrow.  And I would like to get the dryer working.  Plus there are some things I would like to cook.  Other than that, I don't have any pressing demands.  Oh, but I did look Wyoming birth certificate information.  I would like to give that office a call Monday, as my case is more complicated.  Further, I need to find my social security card.  When I have both, and with a few other papers, I may put those in a safe deposit box.  Along with all my gold.  Wait!  I don't have any gold!  :)

On to waking.  Have a good day and weekend.