Well, a start.

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The first small portions of dishes were washed and set back for a second wash, save a cast dutch oven which is done.  As well, a good meal of lamb chops and eggs was made and eaten.  Lamb is pretty rich, which is either a draw or repulsion.  Eggs, with runny yokes any way, helps level that out.  I have just enough time for a second meal if I want it.  Not sure I actually want it, but I may need it.  Or I'll have popcorn.  Popcorn isn't great, in once sense.  But it is an easy way to get fats into the diet.

A trick I do with butter, at this point, is... especially with my ability to taste salt being questionable, is to add salt, but also dried herbs and garlic, stir the spices into the butter, then pour it on.  Any other way and too much flavor settles to the bottom.  I just use a typical italian spice blend.  That evens out the flavor, and I can taste it better than salt when my ability to taste is weak.  Might be something to try, however you do your popcorn, though.  It does take some practice.  With your seasoning not all ending up on the bottom, the flavor is much more potent, salt included.  So... if it fails the first few times, start quantifying... a teaspoon of this, an half teaspoon of that, or to your tastes.  Oh... and I think even with normals, your tastes will change.  While we can quantify, we aren't objective beings.  Go light, you can always add more, as my final tip.  Yeah, I'll just go with popcorn.  I'm too close to the end of my eating time for more of a meal.

I did pull more meat out to thaw.  I have hamburger already thawed.  I pulled out more, a steak, and a ham chunk.  I'll do beans again soon.  I just won't eat it singularly.  That'll open up the valves.  Sometimes it doesn't, for me.  Sometimes it does.  More if I haven't been eating correctly lately.  Anywho...

A bit more gaming, another hit on the dishes, and maybe knocking that set out, then a shower or bath?  That's the goal.  Might put a load of laundry through... towels... first with baking soda, then vinegar... or was it the other way around?  There is supposed to be a way to strip towels back to the basics... get that... tang out of them.  I'll give it a try, let you know what I think.  If I remember to do it, then if that if I remember to notice and report.  Bleh.  Later.

M'okay.

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Look, I realize sometimes my body is so... down... so something... that things don't work.  I didn't realize that included taste.  Or, maybe I did.  It's a lot like depression, I suppose, only it's not chemically, but physically, based.  Simply, the parts involved are not getting enough blood.  Or not enough chemicals can be created to transfer sensations from the source to the brain.

Off and on for the last month, though fairly regularly, I haven't been able to taste various things.  You know how powerful some gum flavor is?  Yeah, couldn't taste it.  Salt was becoming a problem, could not taste it.  Had to be careful when cooking and seasoning.  I could taste a bit of a burn, if I used too much, perhaps way too much, but nothing else.  Flavor is back.  It's been like this for the last 30 years, worse for most of it.  Simply, I didn't remember, not for long.  I am starting to figure this one out, just not how to deal with it, always.  It's nice to have flavor back though.

I've been gaming.  The Shadows of Mordor, this time.  I don't know what I think of it.  It's a bit of a pita, in the sense that I've not played a game like it.  On one hand, it is interesting.  On the other, it'll let you get in way over your head from the start.  It is easy to burn out on the game.  Further, even as I level up, as complicated as that is, it doesn't really seem to make gameplay any more reasonable.  I just broke into the second tier of skills and such, so I'll know more in time.

Odd how, even when I can't taste, or feel, or think, I can still do a sudoku in 5 to 10 seconds, or play a game meant for those with reaction times of the young.  Then again, I'm not sure the young have that fast of reaction times anymore.  Without experience in competitive physical activities to back up electronic, something is missing.  I know a lot of guys my age who have quit, because they simply can't play.  If I quit, it is because I simply don't like the system.  Some games cheat, and make it a timed, rather than speed thing.  Most do, probably.  I do hate that, especially when it is too obvious.

Later.

Another regularizing day.

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I can't say things are perfect.  I can say I have waken at about 5:30 (actually 5:41 by my computer, which is off, but it's what I used because it's the first thing I see and it is the same thing each day) for a week?  Longer?  I have been doing bits and pieces each day, if not what I hope to do.  Yeah.  Well.  I am feeling mostly rested.  I am not in pain.  I am not too foggy.  Everything seems to be doing well.

Dreams last night.  Of childhood, of things that existed in those times, of how I thought.  While I was certainly a child compared with how I am now, I... never was a child.  I knew far too much.  It wasn't mechanical knowledge.  I could see into people then.  I thought so, but the dream... cemented that notion.  I could see sin.

Of course, what passes for sin today, often, is not sin.  Much of what is called sin isn't any such thing.  The ten commandments, plus the first two... 'go forth, prosper, and multiply', along with some others.  Some sins, or more prohibitions were eliminated... that of foods mostly... 'worry about what comes out of your mouth, not what goes in it'.  I use pairs of " ' " these when I paraphrase.  Many translations, not sure which you might be using.  There were other things, though... for example, long hair on a man is one thing that has been called an abomination.  Yeah, it's in there somewhere.  There are differences between prescriptions, proscriptions, and sin though too.  A question though... while Jesus predates the writer of the long hair thing, if Jesus had long hair, he would have known of it.  So... either Jesus didn't have long hair or the writer (or one who was quoted) thought that not all things Christ were good for all Christians?  It's homework, for you, I don't have an answer.  Not a trick question, just... a question.

See sin?  Aye.  Much as I see in the dark today.  I have mentioned it, put up music videos about it.  See.  Right into the heart of a man.  Right into my own heart.  The old riddle, 'Everyone has it, but no one can lose it'?  A shadow.  But that is more a story, for I was without shadow for the longest of time.  I was in the dark, of the dark, from the dark.  There are no shadows away from the light.  But sin?  That would be a better answer, at least in this place, in this time.  And see it I do.  And did, even as a child.  Grating.  Especially to have come to understand it was, and will be again, a time without sin... even in hell.  Not yet, here or in hell, but... soon enough.

Well, as I said, better.  And jibber jabber.  Dreams can really make me think.  Oh, and I am back to daily fasting.  Eating what I wish in a four hour block, the rest is for without food.  Daily fasting isn't even really that harsh.  I can eat enough potassium, if I keep greens, beans, and such on hand and in the queue.  A couple weeks of this, and medicines back to regular, and then I start on the two or three day fasting cycles.  Good day.

A regular morning.

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How long it will last is another question.  At about 5:30 I was awake and up.  To be honest, that is the perfect time to wake.  Not much traffic to disturb sleep, nothing expected quite yet, time to wake and make a grab at doing other things, time for planning or just some quietude.  If I can find my bible again, I might start reading from it, a bit each day.  A study guide would be good.  I'll look into a study guide.  Quit talking and do, right?  Right.

Today?  I don't know.  I didn't end up doing much else yesterday.  I am hoping to do some cleaning today.  Just a few loads of dishes.  If I do what I have planned, then maybe a load of laundry.  That is all I will schedule in or my mind will overload.  If I end up doing more, it won't be because I overscheduled.  I am in the sort of space where planning to much can kill everything.

I thawed meat as well.  I am setting up to have breakfast.  Steak, and maybe eggs.  I have cleaned the litter boxes and fed the girls already.  Keeping the litter boxes sorted is more important in winter than summer.  I can't just open up and air things out as easily or often.  Though, push come to shove, I can blast the furnace, open some windows, and turn on a fan for a bit.

A shower, maybe a bath, would be good today.  I may try epsom salt without anything else, if I bath.  My feet are getting better.  It's slow though.  It'll take those a long time to truly heal.  And it will require regular use of the water pill and compression socks.  Not absolutes, but pretty regular.  Being a form of chaos, I can't do absolute regularity and do well.  You'll just have to trust me on that.

I've salted the steaks, then I let them sit for an hour.  I had to work the cast pan a bit, but that is done and ready.  It wasn't too bad, or bad at all really.  It's just... that is how cast is.  It's fussy and takes a little work before, during, and after.  Sometimes more, sometimes less.  You know, cheese would go well with the eggs while I am at it.  Later.

Some things just don't fly.

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I have tried to watch vampire diaries, or whatever it is called.  It's a monster series, from a female perspective.  It is why feminism is doomed.  And, yes, all women are feminists.  The pretty ones just... find that male company is better than female solidarity, by far.  Even if they hate it, too, often enough.  Anyway, after bleeding manliness off the way one might bleed heat in the North Atlantic in winter, trying to watch the first two episodes, I have given up.  There is no monster story in there worth digging through that much estrogen to try to find.

I turned the heat up, but it's not helping.  I may turn it up a bit more.  The hope is to do some work in the cave today.  A few small batches of dishes, perhaps some laundry, maybe a little clean up in the kitchen, and just possibly setting up for food again.  I've been seriously off my feed.  Popcorn, a can of sardines, and that's been on heavy food days.  I also need to figure out medicine and get more regularly on it.  I have been on it, just sporadically.  As I begin to do better, getting more regular with that will help.  And getting on the last medicine, carvedilol, might help... after it hurts and I work through it.

I may start a game.  I simply cannot handle the series.  Not sure I want to start up X-Files.  Though, if the game falls through, I may just begin X-Files.

It is getting cool out there.  Later.

Now that was different.

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Several things seem off.  First?  My mother called to check on me.  She said she has tried to call me for the last three days.  I have received no messages and no trace of a call.  Further, the last time we spoke, she said my brother had called, and left messages.  Again, no messages were recorded, no trace of a call, or calls, was indicated.  I have been waking at about 5:30 the last week or more, and using my phone in the morning to play sudoku.  So...  No clue about that.  I wonder if Verizon employees are adamantly anti-Trump protest types, and are screwing with some people and our lines, redirecting, not connecting through, or hacking?  Or are other such types doing so?  All I know is that I am not receiving calls or messages, but can call out.  I need to get rid of this "smartphone" I do believe.

The reason for her call was also... unusual.  It has happened before, it is simply rare.  She wanted to know how to cook bok choy.  It seems that has become available... someone is growing it and offering it, but being "strange", few are taking it.  She dared, but didn't know, exactly how to deal with it.  And she remembered that I had cooked it for her before.  It is good to, even if only rarely, be of culinary assistance.  She taught me much of what I know, and has advised on a thousand and one recipes or techniques.  She has taken two or three helpers, a few bags of groceries, and fed armies.  She can go simple or rather fancy.  She might not know exotics, but anything on a local, regional, and probably national level, she can work with.  Bok choy, essentially, is a form of cabbage... to me.  Stir fry, perhaps even kraut, steam, and I would even consider making slaw with it.  All the cabbage sorts can be used as a pseudo raw noodle replacement, if that works better with some sauces than others.

It did snow, by the way.  If an inch and an half was had, most of it melted.  It started with a rain, which, I think, is why only the grass seems frosted.  The drive and road doesn't look iced.  Which... super.  I may, if I can, get out and attempt to pull some of the stems out to the roots, the ones which would not come up by raking/cutting with the flat-bladed shovel.  I got most of it.  I just ran out of energy after an half hour of tinkering, along with the rest of the day.

Another project, replacing the rear windshield wiper is proving difficult.  I checked at my usual maintenance shop to no success.  I have checked amazon, but... I just don't trust them.  I called autozone today, but they don't have anything listed.  I may have to call the dealership.  I would like to get an extra arm, if that may not be needed, and a couple of extra blades.  If it's proprietary, I hate having to wait, potentially, for delivery.

Yeah, I was up at 5:30 this morning.  Doing good, actually.  I have the furnace set to 66, it's frozen outside, and a t-shirt and unders are good enough.  Actually the girls want it warmer.  And I may turn it up to become a bit more active.  A shower and a call or three.  More business.  If that all works, then maybe more.  So much to do, so little time, so behind.  Good day.

I actually did do more.

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Business, so far, mostly.  I had packages to return, four of them.  Complicated, a bit.  Had to trick around to figure out what with which, but did so.  Then to find a box that was the right size per grouping.  A bit of packing helped.  Then in to town.  After that, I got the auto washed.  It may snow tonight or tomorrow.  As much as an inch and an half may land.  I have weed remnants in the drive!  I took out one line of them, may work on more.  That makes shoveling a serious chore.  I really need to get weed killer on that, and not just for this reason, next year.  Weeds will wreck a drive.  I probably ought to get a crew in to work on that, next chance I see... if I have the money.  Argh!

I did have pizza, as a reward.  Yes, yes, but it's been... a while... a long while... since I've had a treat night.  I might even sip a tipple or tres.  Bonne!  See what I did there?  I'll probably, in truth, only have one good nibble of Blanton's... a mild but true bourbon.  I told you I'd be trying bourbon.  Now, though, when I have a tipple every six weeks or so?  It's... just a tipple.  Maybe two.  It'll take me a year, maybe two, to drain that hooch.  That, my friends, is drinking.  I don't even actually catch a buzz.  It's for the taste, mostly.  There is minor blurring along the edges, only slightly more than what the end of the day normally brings.  Yes, a sip, or two, but no more.

I'll be finishing the Teen Wolf (?I think?) series tonight, then probably starting on another monster series.  There is a lot of suck in it.  It's a teen thing.  Oh, and they cram every queer type they can, and multi-culti, to brainfuck the kids.  Most kids, though, know better.  No amount of teaching really does change kids' minds.  They might get stuck in something stupid, but they know it's stupid.  I think the end of the like for that is on the horizon, and it has nothing to do with my gen, or those before.  Just common sense intersecting with reality.  I think the new series is diary of a vampire, and I expect it will be just as pussified with multiculti too.  I've only bought some of it.  If it's too much I will dump it.  I have X-Files, complete minus the new mini-series or movie or whatever most recently came out.  Pretty lefty, too.  But in the mostly white-ethno way.  Bleh.

Later.  Or good night.

Better, a bit.

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I did make it to the post office.  Packages, mail, just to get out.

Which meant a shower, dressing, and all.  It's been a long time.  I did get the trash out for Monday, so brought the bin back while at it.

I'd love to do more.  Not sure that will happen.  I did check blood sugar, it was 245.  But that is without fasting and without insulin.  Then again, on insulin, it was going up and beyond ~650-700... beyond my device's ability to measure.  So, if it's a choice between 245 w/o medicine, and that on medicine, I'll go without.  Still, fasting, when I can get back to it, should solve this.  Time... *tick-tock*

I have been doing bits and pieces in the kitchen.  First I hit the parts that were malodorous.  Dishes, pots, and such with experiments going on... the cat litter boxes, and trash.  I got most of it in one fell swoop, yet there is always more.  I got it from worst to tolerable though, and have been doing bits more as I can.  Life, even if you keep things clean, is a dirty project.  No matter how well you keep things clean... it smells.  I guess that is why women use so much perfumed products, from actual to deodorizers.  Then again, scent is more their area than ours, on top of it.

More and more to do.  I never get caught up.  I realize I never can get caught up.  To even get close, it takes someone who believes, and is willing to bet on it.  This is not our area.  Even with women, it's only some of them who have any interest in doing that.  I have some business to do.  After which, though, I may consider looking into cleaning services.  I honestly don't think I can afford them.  And I'm not sure I can trust them.  Still...  I figure, if I could get some of it, I could do some of it.  The incentive to do more, and the price of doing less, would be coin... if I can negotiate a reasonable situation.  Yeah.  Of course, there are some other things I really need done, so I have to be cautious about things.  Plumbing problems, a new floor in the kitchen, and maybe help or simply having someone in to redo the bathroom.  Bleh.

On to the day.  At least I am up and moving, mostly.  Good day.

Good good.

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Even if it is dark, I am waking early.  My clocks are still off.  It looks like I was up at about 5:30.  It's the perfect time to have a full day and make it through the day... if I can.

Yesterday I finally cooked again, after a rather long time out.  Food just wasn't tasting good, which didn't help.  Ham and beans, a rather large amount of it.  I'll tell you, that is some seriously good food.  And it gets everything working more quickly and easily.  It sure sounds busy out there, on the road.

I am hoping to get up, showered, and out, in time to hit the post office.  You would think, with this kind of a running start, that the goal could be guaranteed.  That's not how it works.  While I can and do get out of bed at some point in every single day, I don't always rise to even the level of function.  Getting out is one or two more stratas above that, even just to the post office.  It means showering, dressing, then going.  It isn't always just physical, it isn't just concentration, and even if those are both a check, there seems to be other sorts of problems.  A little help wouldn't be bad.  Having a woman around, or my mom when I lived with her, to a point, can help a lot.  Uhrm, if she wants to be helpful.  Though, to my great enticklement, even when a woman is being demotivational or attempting to hamper my will, that can help. *evil grins*  And is sexy.  Get it up!

Well, winter is coming.  I have the oil change and tire rotation completed.  I have a few more things I'd like to do.  Business and a bit of work.  I am doing bits more, but I am getting to things so slowly and weekly.  Ugh.  I'll keep at it.  Later.

Well, there is always that.

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I meant to make some changes on my blog.  I meant to get rid of the "writer", and just have the original operator.  Both are my identity.  I had simply thought having both my accounts have access would facilitate some things.  That didn't work out.  Anyway, when I disconnected an account, it was the wrong one.  Yeah.  On the good side, I didn't sever my connection.  I did have to figure out how to do some things a different way.  A way I don't like to do them, which was... why I was changing things.

It doesn't matter if you are tired or awake, doing good, or buys, or doing poorly... mistakes just happen.  Fine.  Now, to fix it won't be a great problem.  However, it will mean regaining access to an unused email address.  Of course, not only is it a weekend, it's a holiday weekend.  Yeah... Today, maybe?  Is it a four day?  I don't think so, but who knows.  I'll know shortly when I check to see if packages on the way have moved.

Oh, I did get the trash out, and do some work on some pots.  Ugh... I'm talking... science project level pots.  When you throw something out and you are pretty sure it's growling at you...  Yeah, well.  I really was down, and hard, for a bit.  I am hoping this is the week where I get back to things.

I think things are mellowing.

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Some of it was seasonal, some of it was medicine, some of it was politics.  Trying to figure out how to get away if she was elected, with what I feel I need... with the least loss.  Even now, figuring out how to get out, even if a bit more slowly, is... something of a trick.  Where to go, how to clear out, clean up, move out.  It's a lot to do.  And, of course, money.  I have to start living differently, right now.

I may not make it out.  It may not be possible.  Not where I wish to go.  Though, perhaps, somewhere.  Or not.  Still tending some thoughts.  It sort of depends, to, a bit, how Trump shapes up.  If he is just another typical Republican/Democrat wash, then... yeah.  He is merely stop-gap.  If he undoes Zero's darkcraft quickly, and begins swinging the bow around?

The wilds aren't all that comfortable.  They are dangerous.  Risks and other assessments must be made.  I would really like a visit to Alaska before making the move, but the time and money involved...  It's a heck of a thing just getting up there, with wheels, minus airplane.  I'm not even sure about getting through the Canadian border, or back through to the US, on the road.  Nasty in both directions, for different reasons, even if you have clean intentions.

Just... thinking.  Dreams, while I slept, reminded me of my intent.  Perhaps, even if it isn't my absolute desire, as with coming here, my dreams will push me.  Dreams?  Not just dreams.  It took, God I think, four or five years to shove me out here.  I don't think Alaska is a choice unless...  Not sure which is worse though, a wife or the wilderness... or if there is even a difference sometimes.  Different sides of the same thing, mother nature.