Later than wanted.

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I couldn't get to it.  Finally, I started.  The chicken wasn't fully thawed, yet.  So I gave it a bath.  With salt and garlic, for... pleasantries.  Got to treat even these ladies with some tender loving, innit?  I set the timer, then completely blew that off, for... another fifteen twenty minutes... before I put two and four together, remembering the timer was for the chicken, and coming up with sixes.  :p

Dried it off, well.  Was going to roast it with the giblets too.  But remember I wanted to use sauerkraut.  How will it turn out?  How the hell should I know!  Works well with ducks and turkeys.  Really.  But, it takes some of their gaminess, richness, down a notch.  Chicken has neither.  But... since I can't find clean brats, I thought I'd use it with chicken.  A fine experiment, either way.

The clock, she spins!

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I can't be sure when I went to bed.  Waking, here at 15:00?  15:20?  Something.  I hurt so bad.  I was so cold.  I finally gave up, and jacked the furnace yesterday afternoon, let it run the night.  Finally, I am feeling life in me.  Already had it rather warm for my usual tastes.  Made it warmer!  Much warmer.  The body doesn't hurt as badly, with some warmth in it.  Death seems a few more steps away.  But that cold body thing, that is brutal.  It isn't, completely, about the temp of the world.  It means my health is falling, failing, struggling.  It means I am dying, just a bit.  If you ever reach death, and go beyond, and your remember at all.  You'll know cold.

Cold, like death, isn't terrifying, as it might have once been.  Though, for me, it's always been more like playing tag, and not trying to be "it", than a fear.  A game, like much of life.  War, love, learning, playing... all games, too often.  It was difficult to take them seriously.  If too, after a few brutal bumps, that didn't help.  Enough pain, and any man will break.

When did I go down?

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Around seven?  I received a text from the guy with whom I had been initially planning to go to the meeting.  I can't remember what he wrote, but that it confused me.  I texted back a hello.  He never texted me back from that.  I also found a voice message from... yesterday?  My phone isn't passing through information.  Everyone who calls is considered spam.  I need a new phone company, number, and maybe different phone.  Though I may try to put that one os on it.  But, I want to back up my phone, offline, not on the computer.  Just haven't found a clear way to do it.

Anyway.  I then received an email, from our group chief, suggesting I meet up with him, at the church, at seven on the day we were to go.  I emailed back suggesting that this wasn't really an option, at this point.  Then again, I was thinking it was already Saturday.  Friday, is it?  Crazy, when your sleep and wake blend and twist into a tornado of confusion.

Wanted to be abed earlier.

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I can't seem to... negotiate my sleep, for the moment.  I had pushed through to nearly noon, but am back to sleeping at six.  Stuck there.  I can break free for a few days, but it just doesn't last.  Brutally sleepy, can't sleep.  Can't push through.  Ever been stuck in mud, or snow, with a vehicle?  Perhaps while unable to walk well, so can't really do much about it, but rock the thing back and forth... for a while.  At some point you have to call a tow truck, or farmer if you know one.  Grumpy cusses, sometimes, but would give you their shirt.  Priests, of the land, of sorts.  :p  Not a dig... at priests, or farmers, ranchers, or the like.  Just how I see things.

Anyway...  I am stuck.  I'll keep trying, until I die actually.  Failure is an option, just not for too long it is hoped.  It's not a choice, currently.

Being a scourge has it's benefits.

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The fellow I was planning to go to the meeting with decided he was, indeed going.  But alone.  Perfect.  Doesn't hurt my feelings.  But, saves me on gas, time, and some other things.  They only needed one man there.  If you wish to exclude me?  You have... volunteered yourself.  I don't need to go, now.  I let him know, and wished him a pleasant trip.  *grins*  I mean it, don't do checker moves on a chess player.  All pawns, eh?  Checkmate.  Go away or I shall taunt you a second timea.

Plus, I wasn't able to get the vehicle sorted, and in for detailing.  My schedule is bogusly off kilter.  My health is rough.  So... okay.  Absolutely no skin off my nose.  And, I do hope he enjoys the meeting.  I only volunteered because they had no one else going.  All they need is one.  It would have been brutal, for me, to go.

Waking is murder.

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Still, wake I did.  Not fully awake.  And off in a lot of ways.  But... up.

Dreamed of a woman last night.  We met, met again, and so on.  Eventually we were kissing.  I grabbed great big ol' hank of big girl, pulled her to me while checking her tonsils, lifted her up on a table, or something, and was about to lay rail, when... I remembered.  Even in dreams, now, I am able to remain chaste.  I... backed off.  I didn't apologize, merely told her it... wasn't time.

Yes, it does look like they tinkered.

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With the game.  I am not letting the most recent patch go through.  Who knows what it will really do.  Can't believe their patch release notes, learned that long ago.

Some things which were very difficult are much easier.  Some things that were easy now take more time.  Some things I could beat fairly simply, with a certain pattern, simply doesn't work.  A few things have been made absolutely brutal.  I am sure some things which were difficult, remain so.  I haven't gotten to half the game, again, yet.

Strange, but not bad.

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I did have to add a few packets of salmon.  The fish was good, but the olive oil they were in was... dated.  It worked out well enough.  I added lemon juice, and tried a bowl of just the green beans, canned mushrooms, chicken salad (which had pretty much melted in), and salmon.  It wasn't bad.

Next I added a third of a stick of butter and parmesan cheese.  That actually kicked it up nicely.  Still a bit odd, but it worked.  I polished that off easily.  Still hungry, but less so.  If the tuna steaks thaw yet tonight, I will fry those.  Maybe put them on a bed of shirataki noodles or palm rice.  Even two of those will be... small.  I am really, truly, deeply, hungry.  Meh.

Too hungry.

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I wanted to fast.  A few days, through to Saturday, then have a meal Saturday morning.  It's... not going to happen.  Then again, I wasn't sure it would be possible.  Simply too hungry.  I think I can keep, mostly, to carnivore.  Mostly meat.  No promises, but possible.  Probably, even.

To that end, I have pulled out more burger, another steak, and two tuna steaks.  And, after those, I'll pull out a whole chicken to thaw.  When this hungry, a chicken won't last but two, maybe three, days.  Soups stretch it, but soup also isn't so very filling.  It seems like it, but in my current condition, my body won't be tricked for long.

Wednesday?

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Very good.  I thought I was already Thursday, and have things to do, things to arrange, and else.  Terrifying, really.  But, so very good to realize.  Though that isn't a reason to relax, it's a reason to shove forward, do, if possible, as possible.

Went to get in the shower today.  A snake!  In my bathroom.  Just a smaller one.  First time I have ever seen a snake in my house, or around it.  Crazy.  Killed it, with a mallet.  Not a boot, as someone seems to... think?  :)  You know who you are.  No, I hadn't see the vid, post, until after.  I feel immortal?  Not in an earthly way, but I know we are.  Even those who choose damnation.

Massive meatballs.

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Boiled.  In with veggies.  I'll see if I can get that to work.  Corn, beans, who knows what I'll put in it.  Canned spinach?  Maybe.  Though I'd rather have that as a side, if I go that way.  Spinach doesn't go well, directly, in with meats, in my opinion.  On the side, with salt, butter, and pepper?  Or vinegar and salt, maybe pepper?  Absolutely.

Trying to figure some things out, for my new 'toon, with my old 'toon.  Like drop rates, where to find things... if they still fall from certain mobs, or are still in certain places.  but there are things I can't find yet, as my main 'toon, this time, doesn't have it.  I guess the game data didn't bring my other 'toons from my previous playthroughs.  I'm pretty sure I had two completions toons, and maybe a few starters, between several sessions, separate by months, maybe a year.  I come back, to some games, from time to time.  If... over time, I stop.  No more with Skyrim.  Just burned through too much time on that, and it aged out.  Same with Fallout 4, and some others.  Visuals don't age well.  Polishing them, as with the original Dead Souls or whatnot, didn't... help.  Like polishing a turd, it just doesn't work, no matter what ooh toob told you.

Down very late, up very late.

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But, I have things to do.  So... I am going to have to push and shove.  Crunch the numbers, get things going.  Brushed my teeth, got Sassy fresh water, and food, then cleaned the litter boxes.  Prepping for a shower, but that is enough fuss for first thing.  So... tea is steeping, and I'll knock out a post.

I called, checking on auto detailing.  They go from $35 for a minor clean and clear to $100 for that lower tier.  On up to $400 for an everything from engine compartment to steam cleaning, to... everything.  The brand new rebirth package.  Not sure I could do the $400.  But, can do a tier below, possibly.  I'll get more details when I get in.  But that, not for a month or two.  Yeah, that's a lot of bread, buddy, but... can be worth it.  Then, once a year for five years, do the minor detailing.  But, keep it up, so the major cost isn't recurring.  But when you fall behind, yeah.

Gaming is intense.

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I may not be competing with others, or directly.  But I am competing.  And this game can be... very difficult.  So, when Sassy came around, begging for food, right when I got slaughtered by a boss... in part because she was all up in my grill, I shouted, stomped around a bit, and put on a good show.

Only... she wasn't happy with that at all.  I haven't even yelled at her in... I can't remember... three, four, years?  I've... been working on that.  I just don't want to yell, at her, or anyone.  Gaming can bring that out.  But, too, it's... how guys do?  I think so, especially when stressed.

Harsh.

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Down at nine, up at 15:00, or almost.  A little after the former, a little before the latter, but... close enough for general accounting.

Sore.  Not as bad as yesterday.  Weary, but not blindly, stupidly, tired, exhausted, sleepy, as has been the case for a few days.  Better.  Food helps, I think.  I have been eating.  I'll finland, or is it polish, off the steak today.  Half left.  Burger... may be fried up yet today, as well.  Spiced hot, herbed and spiced elsewise, gently but rightly.  I'll get toward a slightly uppity taco seasoning, spices added individually, blended by me, from whole or leaf or ground in some rare cases.

Just turning nine.

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I am still awake.  Couldn't sleep.  Still can't.  Getting there?  Ugh.  Days and nights are spinning again.  Season changes can do that.  Awake so long, however, that my body is becoming cold.  Teak, it works.  Soup would also work well, possibly.  Probably.  I noticed I have canned chicken downstairs.  That would go well in a minor soup or stew.  Don't think I would eat canned chicken in may other ways.

Gaming is going along well.  Surprised I can still make it through.  Just found a boss that, along with say five others, really, or mostly, complicated my first playthroughs.  This one just beat me every time I tried him for, say, a month?  Just staying alive to fight him was a trick, as the path to him was absolutely brutal.  My sort of gig.

Ugh... my eyes are beginning to close, my head nod, as I try to write.  Oh, well, i can write without my eyes open.  Until my mind also shuts off.  My fingers can dance on the keyboard, until nothing coherent is flowing to them.  Then... I lose control of some of these things.

Well, yes, I think I'll just close up and go on to bed before I just tilt and sleep, waking up stiff and sore.  I'd really like to finish up a portion more, of the game, but am just way too tired.  I'm going to crash if I don't, too.  Good night, and morning, and day.  *zzz*

That steak was good.

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I wasn't going to get away with eating a third of it though.  But I did limit it to half.  My hunger is very strong.  Then again, I needed to eat more, simply couldn't, for a long, long, time.  It is good to be able to eat well, again, finally.  Especially when I can keep it more on the carnivore track than the even keto track.  Yes, I slip a bit, but... okay.

Still a bit hungry, so I may have more veggies.  There is some leftover "rice", just a bit.  would go well with a few veggies...  green bean and tomato, corn and carrots, something.  Well, and butter.  Lots and lot of butter.  Tea should be ready.  This time oolong and white.  I want to see what tea mixes will do.  They may not work together, well, at all.  Curious.  Oolong is strong, earthy, white is delicate.  Will find out... well, before I finish this.  Want to put the veggies to heat, grab the tea, then be right back...

Fantastic.

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Tuna and "rice", a keto version.  Using lime juice I had stored away, lemon?  I'll have to look again.  The lime juice is rather old, wasn't sure... how that would turn out.  Lemon?  Whatever.  One must work with the ground palm heart, rinsing it extremely well, several times.  Then I steamed it, in a spit of water, with some lemon/lime juice, and butter.  Lots of butter.  The tuna was simply griddled on the flattop, five minutes on each side.

I'll tell you, that was absolutely delicious.  The problem is that I am still hungry.  There was plenty there.  That would usually do for my meal.  But the fall season has me against the hunger wall.  On the good side, I have a steak thawed, band burger getting there.  I think I will grill the steak in a bit.  That steak has been excellent, unlike t-bones most recently... or even for the last few years.  I was a bit fearful of buying it, glad I took the risk.  Cost... a lot more than anticipated, but... okay.

Then mother called.  She was having tuna and noodles.  So, we... shared a meal.  Quite nice.  We talked about other foods, including cabbage.  She has always loved cabbage, I used to hate it.  Kids, and their tastes, what can you do.  I told her I was going to cook chicken, perhaps, next time.  And add some of that in, to a stew.  She... wouldn't waste her cabbage on chicken.  *laughs*

Fine.  I told her about steaming burger and cabbage, together.  She almost thought that might sound good, or not.  Maybe she was just being nice.  Hard to tell with mom'o.  I told her my brother and myself had gotten in a bit of spiff.  And that I did call to apologize.  Not her problem, I think, but glad to hear it, too.

All good.  Yes, more steak.  And, maybe, some vegetables on the side.  Trying to eat that up, before I go.  It's... old, out of date, but does just fine.  Green beans?  Corn?  Stewed tomatoes?  I'm thinking green beans and tomatoes.  Carby, a bit, but... it'll do.  With steak as the main course.  Uhmm.... yes.  That would do.  In an hour or two.  Loverly.

Still feeling a bit battered and bruised. as if I had been in an accident, or major multiple enemy fight recently.  A few days to a week ago.  Always took... time... to get better.  Not sure why I am this bruised, battered, and sore.  Sleep has been good.  Food has been plentiful and more carnivore.  Working on keeping water out, if failing a bit in that department, but... working on it.  The wound on my leg is REALLY looking better.  So no infection, probably.  Oh well, I'll... just keep doing my best.

I have told the group that I will do some traveling for them.  Go to a meeting.  It's, generally speaking, for higher level members.  But they can't go, and technically it is mandatory.  But... they put it out, almost on the sly, with almost no notice.  So will have to get who they get.  Which, in this case, is myself and a fellow of some degree or other.

God, Himself, doesn't always gets who He would prefer.  He gets who hear and abide His call, and who He will accept from among those.  So it is with His sons, children in general.  I'll never be among His favored, but as long as I am among those He would claim, it is what I will take.  I'll do my best.

Anyway... on to a bit of gaming.  Oh, finished coffee, so back to tea.  I may make a sip of that.  I want to try a second flush of the oolong, see if that gets too weak, or does okay.  If it is okay, I may even try a third brewing... forth?  I'm curious.  Sometimes teas really do have a very find, slightly different, second, third, fourth, maybe even fifth, steeping.  I love experimenting.  Later.

Good.

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The steak, and tuna steak, are thawed.  Burger will take more time.  All good.  I think I'll fry the tuna steak first.  While it is sealed, mostly, it is likely to go bad faster, and is smaller so easier to consume and be done with that.  I do wish I had salad.  Canned tuna can be find, on a salad.  but real, fresh, good tuna is far far superior.  Fried in butter, maybe with shirataki noodles and a lemon butter pepper sauce.  But... white or black pepper.  Both peppers are good, freshly ground.  White has a bit of an added lemon or citrus flavor, and is a bit tighter, hotter?  Hotter in a different way.  Black pepper has a flavor and a heat, sort of unique to it.

Even so, later, I may do the t-bone.  These t-bones are excellent.  And, they last three meals, if not three days.  If, on that, only because I am eating like a bear as fall happens and winter approaches.  Hungry as a bear, literally.  Trying to keep it in my pants, and eat more carnivore, but the price is a bit high for that kind of eating.  Cabbage, lettuce/salad mixes, and the like do tend to spread the cost a good deal.  I may add other lettuce types, and maybe spinach, to my mixes.  On the side.  Just... for variety, and to branch out... bread lettuce... or some such, red leaf, spinach... baby and not.  Really enjoying salads, with protein.  Next time I make chicken, I'll save some of that to shred for on top.

Just couldn't sleep.

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It isn't gaming, pulling me in.  I am... finished with the race to get to a certain point... and beyond.  The problem is I just couldn't sleep.  So I gamed, blogged a bit, didn't eat much.  I just had the steak, and several fatted coffees.  Trying to finish off the cream, polish it?  What does polish have to do with finishing, or shining?  :p  No offense, if you are Polish?  Though if you need to be offended, give me time.

I am hungry.  Would have a salad if I had more lettuce or salad mix.  I was thinking today was Thursday.  At about twenty two hundred, I... saw that it was Saturday.  There were things I was supposed to do.  A public rosary, confession, and mass.  I'll... try to get these things done this week.  I can't do the public rosary, that was a once and done.