Being a scourge has it's benefits.

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The fellow I was planning to go to the meeting with decided he was, indeed going.  But alone.  Perfect.  Doesn't hurt my feelings.  But, saves me on gas, time, and some other things.  They only needed one man there.  If you wish to exclude me?  You have... volunteered yourself.  I don't need to go, now.  I let him know, and wished him a pleasant trip.  *grins*  I mean it, don't do checker moves on a chess player.  All pawns, eh?  Checkmate.  Go away or I shall taunt you a second timea.

Plus, I wasn't able to get the vehicle sorted, and in for detailing.  My schedule is bogusly off kilter.  My health is rough.  So... okay.  Absolutely no skin off my nose.  And, I do hope he enjoys the meeting.  I only volunteered because they had no one else going.  All they need is one.  It would have been brutal, for me, to go.

I'm behind on everything.  I'm losing my days, and nights, spinning out of control.  I hurt, I am far too hungry... all the time.  Thanks, friend, now I am eating yogurt and berries like a madman.  I did make tuna steaks, but they weren't enough.  So I put a t-bone on... and completely forgot it.  So done it was inedible, to me.  My dad would have loved it.  Seriously, something was wrong with him, regarding meats.  But as long as I didn't have to eat it, and with all his virtues?  He was solid, in my book.  And I was happy that he could enjoy his food, his way, the rare times he could have it his way.

But... I couldn't eat it.  There was nothing of it, to my mind, left to eat.  It wasn't truly charred.  Or even mostly jerky.  There was some juice in it.  But... not enough.  I can do medium, but rare is where it is at for me.  Oh well.  So... more yogurt and berries!  Bah!  So hungry.

I have hamburger, but don't dare trying to cook it.  It won't work.  I'll... forget.  Something is really off.  Fall.  Age.  Illness.  I do what I can.  Still surprised I haven't died.  I've earned that ticket.  But... God things don't work that way.  And, if God says no, I'll abide.  I don't even mind, these days.  If a bit embarrassed from time to time, for the state of my home, my body, my mind, my actions.  Even when they aren't sinful, they are... lackluster, lost in some shuffle or shuffles, confused.

On the good side, I find humility in those things.  The grace, I think, is greater than the negatives.  When I can remember to see.  Though I wish I could interact with folk more often.  But... I am... a problem.  I get that.  Definitely what lives here in solitude, though even the face I show the world.  I speak my mind, as honestly as possible.  People aren't ready for the truth, or even an attempt at it.  Fragile?  Or... something.

Brown Cow, is the name of the yogurt.  I keep looking for the best, with the fewest ingredients, and the cleanest.  Sometimes it's this, sometimes another, depends on where and what they have at the moment.  I do my best.  The berries are just... frozen berries.  No sugar, goop, additives (if you can believe the list).  I'm not worried about organic, if I should check that it wasn't grown in China.  And, yes... wouldn't surprise me if they bring sewer water infused fruits straight from China.  You have no idea what is allowed, through corruption, bureaucracy, and else over there.  It... is worse than America.  Or... the America I knew, grew up in, and mostly.  Some American companies and corps tried, and sometimes succeeded, in really hurting people.  Now it's as much the government as businesses.  Getting more like China every day.

But, for now, what I have will do.  Though I will look into the berries.  That does worry me.  I don't want anything edible from China.  And preferably no cookware, or else.  My All-Clad was, when I bought it, made in America.  Now it is made in China, I think.  Is Viking the only American made?  There are some European brands that are still good, and not made in China.  It'll cost you though.  Hmm, has Viking started making things in China too?  I'll check.

Ugh.  Well... now I can try to get my days and night turned around, without having a massive trip, large expense (for me), and else, tripping me up.  Half the reason I wanted someone else to go was to share the expense.  The other part was to have them be navigator.  All good.

Later, or goodnight.  Who knows.