Bothersome.

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Troubles are my joys, often.  Can't complain.

Up late.

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Later and later.  Ducks first thing.  Two bins of water and one cup of food.  Water hasn't been freezing, so I just leave it out.

Blood sugar was 185 fasting, 163 after my first meal.  I am surprised with the lower numbers.  In the past it has taken several fasting episodes to begin lowering blood sugar.  Not always, but when I am starting out, up.  It's been a while since I fasted.  Further, I haven't been intermittent fasting, and I have been eating relatively heavily, if really hitting keto.

It takes time to figure keto, especially with the side issue of diabetes.  For one thing, with type two diabetes or mine, there is no fiber discount.  I have to look purely at carbs, save against certain veggies.  Oddly, I can have fast food... more so if I hit fattier foods, like a triple patty burger.  Offsets, if nothing sugared like soda.  And some carbs really are more allowable, if the reasons don't track logically always.

I grilled drumsticks last night but wasn't happy with them.  I have hamburger thawed, but don't know what to fix.  I could fry it, using the sous vide on cabbage and carrots first.  Then roll them into a simple meal... not a cabbage roll, just a meat entree with veggie sides.  I'd have to either find the foodsaver or just sack the cabbage in ziplocs.  I am curious to see how vegetables do with that device.  And I need food.  It's strange, but the more keto I eat, the better my blood sugar... up to some point.

A shower would be good.  A shave.  Some cleaning and laundry.  As well, finding my gun cleaning kit and getting a few firearms ready to shoot.  Yeah.  Later.

When I am a good... boy?

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Or good enough?  Is it from an incel, or near incel (oh, you might not be modern term savvy, involuntary celibate), who loves living vicariously, sees the potential?  Is it a woman, women, who... well... dream, hope... remember?  Some mix?  I don't know.  I only know, for whatever reason(s), when I hit the right notes to satisfy... whomever(s), I 'get sent rewards'.  Usually older pieces, with specific or general meanings, or new meanings which make sense with what I recently put out.

So it is.  I really enjoy this sort of thing.  I am certain there is feminine.  Just...  Yeah.  In any case, I have won the prizes.  Not all will be shared.  Some is for my eyes only.  You've seen the vids I won't be sharing previously.  It's, just, would confuse things for you.  No, mine.

Just... something...

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On my mind, mostly.  No haunt, probably.  With a grin and grain.  Of truth.

Awake, very roughly.

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Among other things, I am cold.  The last two days, no matter how high I set the furnace or how warmly I dress.  I do have the correct blanket rigging to sleep warmly.  I added my middling wool blanket as a top layer.  It's a symptom of fasting.  Just understand that.

Blood sugar got to 141 as a final read last night.  At 156 for a fasting read, it is okay.  I am having a fatted tea to break my fast, while soaking chia seed for a more substantial breakfast.  I am cutting how much I soak to about two teaspoons, and only a third of a cup of nuts.  It's rather filling.

As to my fast?  It is changing rather than ending.  I had forgotten the notion, but instead of ending my fast it is becoming a fat fast.  I am about halving my calories, but aiming for 90 % fat content.  I don't know if this has any real effect.  I guess I'll find out. I can't say I am hungry, if I can admit to wanting to eat.  I think?  Not eating, while well awake, is... weird.

No time to cook meat.  A breakfast, a shower and shave shave, and tending critters.  If I can get going.  It looks like either a frost, or bit of snow, hit last night.  Too little to do anything about though.  If it's slick, perhaps salting.  Oh, best get medicine.  I'm back on track with it, would like to keep it that way.

Have a good morning.

Bedtime.

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Early tonight.  I may see about putting water out, if it isn't too cold.  I'm not sure the ducks will use it.  But if it won't freeze...  It's the best I can do.  I'll water them when I wake anyway.  I just want them to have water earlier.  I doubt if they need food, but I'll check it too.

Blood sugar has been drifting from as low as 141 to 156 currently.  I haven't checked bp in a while.  Maybe tomorrow.  I will be ending my fast tomorrow.  Two days is short, but I don't want to drive while fasting, at least not someone else's vehicle and on a third day of fasting.  It would probably be fine, I just don't risk other people or their gear.  Meat is thawing, though if it isn't ready, or there isn't time, I have other options.

Good night.

A whiff on the cold winter wind.

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Is she... following me?  Leading?  Am I leading from behind?

Late, better.

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Up at 17:00.  Pretty late, even with the extended bed time.  A shower and shave shortly.  Oh, I won't need to rewash all the clothes.  The musty scent was transferred from a washcloth which had gotten forgotten and received that odor.  IT will be washed after soaking it in vinegar and soap for a day, perhaps microwaving it.  Hmm?  One actually very good use for microwaves... moisten something which has gone moldy, clean it off and out, then nuke it for thirty seconds to a minute.  Also works well on kitchen sponges.  Not sure about loofahs, natural or not.

A blood test right out of the gate, and a pot of tea set.  At 168 a gooder fasting blood read.  My first quart of plain tea down.  About to hit an a.c. vinegar ketonic, then an electrolyte water mix, then a sweetened tea.  I will be trying a new sweetener tonight, swerve probably.  The trick might be less finding the, right sweetener, but mixing, changing, which is used.  Sucradrops works, I suspect, until some variable dose is hit.  How much is in my system, what else was eaten and the order of consumption, all sorts of variables are in play.  I am hoping my theory and practices pan out.  Gotta keep at it.

An interesting dream.  If so, it would be a step back at madness, with madness, if toward sanity.  I doubt it.  I think men in America have surrendered.  Who knows.  I liked it anyway.

Later.

Oh well, tomorrow.

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The ducks were tended.  I stayed awake, purposefully, with that in mind.  The girls were fed as well.  The final blood draw read 137.  I tried a monkfruit mix, as the sweetener the last time.  It isn't very sweet.  I wasn't willing to use more, I was willing to simply accept.  That is more the key to eating right, that and learning what your body needs.

There is tomorrow, always until only.  Though then everyone ends up home, and yesterday.  I have gone through hunger, if I think the jump in blood sugar, or really what caused it, was the problem?  Perhaps both... caused hunger.  A spike, for any reason, leads to hunger.  I am amazed when people start hitting diabetes they don't seriously dig in, change their diet.  Then again I beat it several times before, but came right back to it.  To be fair, I had an untreated bad heart, lose focus badly even now that it is treated.  Back then I was always gone.  Ugh.

Good night.

Problems.

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The first?  I am cold, frigid.  I turned the furnace to 72, 74, now 76.  No help.  I haven't gotten to work, not sure I can.

I had my sweetened tea.  Sometimes it goes well, sometimes not.  This time not.  My blood sugar hit 250.  It is 147 two hours later.  I will experiment with some of the other sweeteners.  I keep try stevia, but beside not liking it... it isn't (to my tastes) sweet, and it has the worst elements of a black licorice aftertaste (I like black licorice, just not the derived bitter aspects)... it doesn't seem to do any better as to blood sugar.  It may be that any sweetener will have this effect from time to time.

My next sip will be water with electrolytes.  I have heard by one of my sources that bone broth  isn't good for fasting, the other says it's okay.  Both where wrong on other things.  I'll just have to try it experimentally.  It's not that my sources are... wrong.  They advise based on their experience.  Each of us seems to be quite different.

As well as cold, I am still exhausted.  I am hoping, perhaps, to get somethings done.  If not, tomorrow.  Driving again Wednesday.  I really am hoping to get a second vehicle in the next year, if I can get SS back.  Political thieves.  May Trump blast out the American haters.  Just wishful thinking, but there it is.  Destroy the fed unions.

Later.

A few items.

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Ducks were checked, if rather late.  Thankfully I set out two water bins yesterday.  They remained thawed, and with plenty of water.  They did need food, eating better.  All good.  I'll bet they will really dig in if they begin laying.  Oh, the other day... when I suggested rain would be good?  How about holding off on rain until it stops freezing?  Thank you... teh management.  Yeah, we got rain and it's a rough ice sheet back there.

I've had my apple cider vinegar ketonic and a quart of my first half gallon of straight tea.  The ketonic helps with the volume of fluid intake.  Blood sugar at 189 is down fifty points exactly from fasting waking testing.  I hope it keeps going down, but it'll do it's own thing until Thursday or Friday.  I am hoping to make broth by fast end.  A good first easy meal, though possibly a boost during the fast.

I am hoping to hit the bathroom, shower and shave, then set up dishes... maybe start laundry.  The laundry I had meant to fold needs to be rewashed.  Bleh.  With vinegar.  I left a load in too long and, well... *sigh*  I'll do what I can.  Later.

Up late, moving slow.

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I think bedtime was after 6:00.  I woke at 13:30, had to push out.  I woke three times before but couldn't stay awake.  Dreams?  I suspect, lost though.  I should get going.  A couple of video thoughts though.

The darkness and light, always blue.

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Ask and you shall receive?

What a strange night.

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I could tell you, but best to show you, or... what I dare.

All were given some.  There are patterns.  Shiva.  Sun.  Nimrod.  Timekiller, keeper if you must, will.  Oh, and okay.