Unexpected.

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Well, not... a lot.  I am still awake, here at 18:23.  Though, in part because I have been wrestling with the computer.  Couldn't post, or do much.  Could watch vids.  Figured it out, am back.

As well, my mother called today.  Not sure if she meant to call someone else, hit my number by accident, and just went with it.  Or if it was intentional.  Not a long talk.

A bit surprised.

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It is 11:32 and I am still awake.  I don't feel the want, or need, to sleep.  Perfect?  No, but good, good enough.  The pains and aches that exist are mild.  No true exhaustion is present, if just a bit... mildly... sleepy.  More like what I once considered a typical mid to late afternoon, or early evening.

A time of relaxation.  Though, with capacity to do things, if needed.  Just... not a preference for such.  In part it is because I turned the furnace up.

Well, awake before six.

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I think just slightly after five?  I think so.  Still so tired, I couldn't remember the time, in spite of looking at it, over and over in an attempt to remember.  It's 6:25, and I am still very tired.

Looking at vids, so far.  I thought I had posted my first blog piece for the day, but no.  No, I hadn't.  Strange.  Must have dreamed it.  Yes, still tired enough to be dreaming while sitting here.  So strange.

Good and bad.

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The bad?  I can't seem to get enough sleep.  Tired, exhausted, always on the edge of falling back to sleep.  Or, when sleeping, just staying in bed and sleeping more.  Usually, if I feel the need to sleep, I just... go on and sleep.  Fighting it is nearly impossible.  However, I am becoming frustrated with that.  But, it is good too.  Because, while I need to sleep?  I can sleep.  What is horrible is needing or desperately wanting to sleep, but not being able to sleep.  Life becomes... thin, shall I say, when that happens.

As well, another good, is that pain has diminished.  Oh, I still have an ache in this joint, or a fiery flare up in that wound or this.  But, just... little bits of pain.  Which come and go of their own accord, in short order.  Pain has been minor the last day, maybe two.  A gift, after the last week before it, which was sweet, sweet, agony, if you are a masochist.  For good or ill, I'm not.

Ugh.

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I have been up since around six.  But I am crashing so hard I don't think I'll make it long.  Why so tired?  I can't say.

I took heart medicine.  I have had a few smaller meals.  I have been getting fluid in.  Further, I have been clearing the... deck... so to speak.  Going to the bathroom, clearing out well.  I had probably blocked up for a bit.  With sleeping so much, pain, and irregular eating.

Sleep was fantastic.

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Cooler, but, again, I used the electric blanket.  To prevent overheating this time, I cut the heat and length of time.  Splendid results.  I got just warm enough, and then with the blankets set rightly, stayed just so through the night.

Now, as to dreams.  I dreamed of having sex, over and over and over.  Different women.  I tried to stop.  When I suggest I aim to be celibate, that includes in dreams, if I am aware.  And I was very aware.  I ended a few dreams, but at some point just... gave up.  Strange thing was, the women I had "sent away" from earlier dreams?  Got back in line.  *grins*  I wasn't going to get any sleep until I... until the dreams were done.

True agony.

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Not sure why the wound sites are carrying on so.  Debriding, at this point, may just be too much.  I think I will be delaying the next process for a couple of weeks.  Looking before going even then.  Is half their job to push people out, causing enough pain that they don't come back?  That is... part of the process?

Brutal.  My leg has been killing me since the topical wore off.  I changed bandaging, that did nothing.  Asleep or awake, the pain is just too much.  I am out of my milder form of lidocaine.  There is amazon, but they take a week to three weeks these days..  Just... if I can find it local, that would be much better.  I think I looked.  It seems more expensive, but isn't that much more expensive after amazon adds whatever, and assuming what you get from amazon is legit.  On anything you are wanting, that is compounded or chemically patented, you have, I would say, a 50/50 chance.  Even then you may pay too much.

Now?

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Finally, yes, I think so.  Tired.  I have been crashing for hours.  Since noon, though really before.  It's almost 15:00.  Will be before I am tucked in and sleeping.  Water, I did have more.  Needed more.  Several days without really got to me.  There was coffee, but that doesn't handle thirst well.  It's, the way I use it, a way to get a bit of fat, a few calories, in.  And, maybe caffeine.

I've been dreaming, right here.  Women, again.  Lots of dreams.  I'll put up some music later?  Maybe.  Geeze.  As I said, I might be an apex predator.  But... women hunt me.  And... they really do.  Even in my dreams.  It's... just... with them... sometimes?  I don't mind.

Hot, cold, so on.

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Amazing.  I slept so well, last night, once I got warmed up.  The electric blanket, Sassy, and myself, had a wonderful night.  I woke for a bit, this morning.  Then went on back to bed.  Sassy was warm enough, so came on down and rested down here.  All good.

My wounds began aching, for the warmth?  I think so.  Then I cooled off this morning.  But... then they started hurting because they were too cool!  Argh!  I'm... about to go on back to bed for a while.  Warm up.

Awake for a bit.

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I woke around midnight thirty.  Just... because.  Wounds were hurting.  A bit of an upset stomach.  But somewhat rested, too.  Some water was wanted, and I thought I'd look around the world, see what was up.  If anything had happened since I went to bed.

Still haven't looked around much.  Was looking at vid feeds.  Found one that made me laugh.  Reminded me of the last few days of being out.  Mostly mares out, during the day.  And... I'm not a mare, so... there... are... actions and reactions.  Oh, I had to laugh.

A couple of right things.

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Wasn't sure I could do compression yet.  Only one way to find out?  That's what I was thinking.  And?  And, so far, if a bit sore, so good.  I may take it off shortly.  It's... starting to chafe that side, the bruise.  Well, and it's... just... tight.  Should squeeze some of the juice out of the old lemon...or am I lime.  And, get me ready for it again, tomorrow.

Yes, I'll... take it off shortly.

A nice morning.

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It was cooler.  After feeding Sassy her third time... of six to eight small feedings... I checked the thermostat reading.  It was 66.  Now, that's not terrible, but I don't want to be cool.  Not while finishing healing.  Warmth really helps.  Or, at least just not cool/cold.

Up to 72.  But I'll shut it off, again, overnight.  I don't mind going from 61 upstairs, to 66 downstairs, then warming the house from there.  Usually I can do that.  Unless I flat out feel like I've been run over, hurt so much I can't think... remember.  And just live in miserable coldness for a while, as I did a day or two ago, and for two days.  Bah!

Awake.

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The rest was very good.  Sleep really.  I left the windows open, upstairs.  closing the downstairs door though.  It stayed around 61?  Well, that was the temperature when I woke up.  Perfect sleeping weather, if too cool for daily driving as one might say.  The furnace is still off downstairs, but the windows are closed.  It is 65 in this front room, which is the coolest room in the downstairs.  But that is... pleasant.

Coffee, going down.  After feeding Sassy.  I'll fetch her fresh water before long, and clear her litter box.  I am doing slightly better with that latter, but have stayed up on food and water pretty well, even when tangled in a bent and ripped body.  It was remembering the litter box tending, then limping over there, that wasn't happening as it should have been.

To the office.

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I thought it was an early appointment.  Better to get it wrong that way than the other way.  So, back home for a bit.  I just couldn't hang out in town for four or five hours.

Back, on time.  So tired though.

It's still rough.

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Mostly just from being tired?  I think so.  Sleepy, and more.  No energy, nothing really going.  Which is fine.  I thought the warmth would help a bit.  Truth is, I went too long too cold.  It will take several days of warming, sleeping more, and probably getting back on the feed bag.

Which means, today or tomorrow, I need to get more chicken.  That stuff really helps.  More if of the smaller drumsticks, less if of the bigger ones.  And, another gallon of milk, plus water.  I went through the milk too fast, without having anything else to drink.  Definitely more water.

Ribs are a little pained.  But, as I may have mentioned?  I have lost between eight and ten inches around my chest since Thanksgiving.  While that is good, wonderful really?  It also means my shape has changed exceptionally dramatically.  And it hurts.  Pretty much all the time, save when sleeping.

I'll keep at it.  Keep trying to push through.  Sleeping when possible, taking meds, eating, resting.  I've got a lot of changes, from healing to weight loss, going on.  Weight was 235 this morning.  Since I was taking a shower, I thought I'd check.  I would say everything over 225 is water, and maybe more.  I haven't been able to wear compression socks or else for longer than a few hours, and just that once recently.  Until I can put compression back on, I'm sort of stuck at this weight.

I may ask the doctor for stronger lidocaine when next we talk.  I just... can't... well... I can't even keep up with the bandaging, at this rate.  That is without compression.  And, I need compression.  Ugh.  We'll see.  I don't want anything more, just topical.  I have over the counter, and that is as strong as I will allow otherwise.  I think there was a sideways offer for more.  Which I turned down flatly.  Won't touch anything stronger than over the counter stuff.

I keep thinking it will warm up.  It did warm up.  Then... not so much.  It just isn't going to warm up, again, for a while.  Which is fine... now that I have the furnace back to it, the house closed up.  Anyway, later or goodnight.

Ah!?!

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I sorted some of the problem.  I have left the house open, furnace off, for some time.  I hadn't been checking the temps.  But, tonight, while changing the batteries in my furnace interface, I noticed.  At 61 F, it... is cold.  Too cold.  Not comfortable.  Great for sleeping, painful to be awake in.

So I shut up the downstairs, turned up the furnace, and am starting to just now feel better.  This front room, near the computer, was 64... due to all the heat given off.  It is now 67.  While not hot, it is definitely better.

Oh, yes, much better.  That was the problem, or a part of it.  When trying to heal, always keep the place a bit warmer.  If it goes cold, beside the normal problems, healing can come to a screeching halt... unless it is really hot out, then the cool can help.  Though, even then, when healing, I have generally found that being too warm is better than being even a bit cold.

Good, good.

About to get some coffee.  Something to eat?  No, the chicken, I think, is too old.  I don't have else.  I don't want to eat.  Not hungry?  Nausea?  Several strikes against eating.  Even coffee is pushing it, but it's the warmth I want from that.

Hopefully a better day, now that I have sorted that out.  Oh, and a shower should be a lot easier.  Later.

Staying rough.

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In some ways.  My stomach is causing problems.  Upset?  Bloat?  Managing bad blood from wounds?  I... just don't know.  It feels bruised, upset, sore.

The old wound, on my leg, has troubled me off and on through the night.  Sometimes making life just plain difficult.  The other wounds came in next.  I think the old wound is the worst of it, if irregular.  The stomach problems are what has caused the most consistent problems.  The other wounds just ache, or hurt, from time to time.

Sort of a rough day?

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Yes, sort of.  It wasn't as bad as the worst I have had in this last week.  It was never good though.  Always rough, hard, on the edges.  Pain or numbness, never just... a "normal" day.  Hungry, but not really willing to eat.  Thirsty, but not able to drink as I would have liked.  Some aches, the old wound acted up for a bit.  The lessor, nearly healed wounds, still hurt.

On the good side, the roadrash, while still causing serious pain occasionally, other than the knee-cap wound, are doing really well.  Not so much layers of crusts, but more whole skin.  Sure, a bit red still.  But, my hand?  I had initially needed a six by six bandage (with a four by four pack under) and a four by four (with a two by two gauze pack under the sticky stuff).  Now I can cover the whole of what remains of the damage with a four by four.  It actually, looking at it and thinking back, amazes even me.  How did that much skin come back.  There is only about a fifty cent piece equivalent that looks like it might have been damaged.  The rest of the lost skin is back, and even looks normal.

A friend, with... concerns.

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Perhaps I am too old to ride.  In... some ways?  Maybe he is correct.  More regarding concentration.  The... concern... about my suffering, damage?  Not so much.

I have tried to explain that my healing is more akin to that of an exceedingly healthy child.  Large patches of skin have been replaced in weeks.  Bruising which was expected to take a year to heal will be gone in two months.  Twists and kinks, which in the first place should have been breaks, are nearly back to normal.

Not too bad.

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Not perfectly as planned.  The idea was to be to bed right in there around 22:30.  I didn't get to bed until about 00:30.  I set the alarms from six and eight, or really just initiated them.  They were already set.  Hoping to beat the alarms, and I did.  It' just at 5:24 after starting chicken to heating, feeding Sassy, and such.

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Good, good.  A bite to eat, some water, coffee, and back to it.  Well, had to refill the water jugs and do a few other things.  And watched a few vids while at it.  The Oatman family massacre...  I remember seeing pictures of the surviving sister, but either forgot, or never quite got to, the story of how she ended up with tattoos.  Now I know... or... know what someone says on the matter.

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Probably back to bed.

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I have hurt all through the night.  Not as terribly as the other day.  But about what I had been going through yesterday.  That had seemed tolerable.  And, comparably to the day before, it was.  However, at some point it became too much.  And it remains too much.

I'll take some painpills, then go on back to bed.  Hopefully it will kick back a notch or two.  Ribs, joints, and the minor wound sites, are conspiring to pound me into the sand.  And doing a good job.

A lot better.

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Well, pain hasn't changed.  But it was, and is, tolerable.  Food was good.  Coffee has been pleasant.  Medicine has gone down, if I think I need a final night dose.

The house has remained a bit open.  Last I checked it was down to 48 outside, but is still 65 at least in this front room.  I'll crack another window on the far side of the room as I go to bed upstairs.  Really, nice to have some fresh air.

Mostly good.

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Chicken, milk, and coffee.  Out of water.  I'll have to get more of that, when I can.

The pain from the old wound is either extremely numbed or simply relieved one way or another.  Not even the echoes which had been present.  However, the roadrash areas, the left ankle (I think from overuse as the other mends), the right knee as a joint and because of the torn skin, and the left shoulder... probably from using that to try to rise, and roll while sleeping, are all... giving me a heck of an ache.