.
.
I moved, as many of you know, from what was fast becoming another Mid-West socialist hellhole. I doubt if, even with the changes and fixes, they will be able to survive. They cannot change enough fast enough to keep the demographic disaster the previous administrations created from reducing the state to rubble. I would move back as soon as I would agree to move to England or some other European fascist wasteland.
It is so funny to watch on the news how gun ownership is treated like a disease. Why funny? Here, where I live, I doubt if there is a teenager who could not lay claim to a firearm or three. And here, where I live, I have yet to see one hundredth of the crime I saw in the area I lived where even gun ownership was... something for the police to keep tabs on. We do not need gated communities, until you get into the liberal parts, areas of the state in which people socially and politically try to keep guns out. There you will see the gated communities. There you will see the crime. There you will see what I left.
We are the police. We are everything out here. First responders, firemen, police, friends, neighbors, and simple people. Not there. There they are cogs who do one thing, do it (supposedly) well, and get paid big bucks to do so (then scurry home and hope no one breaks in, surrendering anything and everything if that happens for just one more breath).
Do guns, personally, empower me? Well, they might, in some theoretical manner. In real terms, they are a responsibility. They, or really the notion of their use, carries a heavy weight. I cannot undo anything a bullet does. It is more humbling than empowering. And yet, it is right. To live among men, and even women, who know how to shoot and would do so, is the part that is uplifting. It means we are all responsible. And trust is verified by our rights. A failure, in any way, would be quick and final. That is honest country living.
Anyone who buys a gun to gain power, if they shoot it regularly, and are honest, will come to understand what I have written. I hope police know it. I know myself and other military men I knew understood it. I do believe that to be true. Buy a gun to become a free man and part of who created and protected this nation. Any personal notions are at best secondary. Now, get out and buy a side or long arm, then practice.
Friday, February 25, 2011
Life is different here, now.
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.
Still in pain. I ache as if beaten around the head and shoulders. Minor headache fodder is to be found, though these headaches pass easily and quickly with minor attention at this point. Though I may have had the flu, these symptoms are not from that cause. Out here, in Utah, I am more aware. Of course being aware only offers you a chance to pick something up when it is present. It took me a while, as what I figured out is a sleep time thing. I realize I am not rolling when I sleep. I remember, in more normal pain free times, rolling in my sleep. I either sleep too deeply currently, or something else is going on. I never wake needing to pee (a good thing as it is a symptom of diabetes, though anyone who drinks too much too late might need to go during the night). I remember nothing from the nights. I used to need to take my socks off, or kick my feet out from the covers, and often both. It has been so long since I have done either that I cannot remember. I am dreaming though. Something from my early high school days. Something about pretty girls, girls I saw naked and wanted to see naked, bubble gum, friends, and "stuff". Thankfully my shoes were tied in the dream. I often went without doing so in my youth.
What does this tell me? It tells me there IS something different. It tells me it is not psychological, probably. At least what is happening now is simply an anomaly with my sleep function. Thankfully I was built to take pain, was built solid. I might be a bit cranky around the neck joints, I might be a bit stiff, but I think it could be worse. I ought to do stretches of some sort. No... attention to detail is needed, it is something I cannot give. Bad stretching could actually do damage, and I do tend to get obsessive. I think I will stick with sore for the moment.
Oh, right. Not only did I do some of the dishes, I actually put the food up this time. I am not a great fan of leftover spaghetti, but it is better than... scraping something else together. And, it is not just sitting in the pans, making a stink, or wasting away in the garbage. It should be interesting to see about another round of this whole wheat pasta. Regular pasta was not great the second time. It did not hold up well to reheating. I found techniques which proved more successful, but...
A little waking up first. I am up late, but I went to bed even later. Less than seven hours of sleep, so I am fine considering what I got done and "dinner". Have a great day. Avoid brown ground fruits, wooden nickels, and voting for politicians who hide when they are being asked to cut spending (first and last are about equal, wooden nickels if understood can be collectable).
(By the way, spellcheck was trying to change "collectable" to "collectible". I had never read or heard that correction before (and do not, explicitly, trust spellcheck). I finally have my big old dictionary right chere. So, a thumbing through, and... both. So, I both learned something (I would have corrected someone else's "collectible" or thought them in error) and enjoyed using my dictionary for the first time in a while. And, if technically correct, I HATE "collectible". Later!)
.
Still in pain. I ache as if beaten around the head and shoulders. Minor headache fodder is to be found, though these headaches pass easily and quickly with minor attention at this point. Though I may have had the flu, these symptoms are not from that cause. Out here, in Utah, I am more aware. Of course being aware only offers you a chance to pick something up when it is present. It took me a while, as what I figured out is a sleep time thing. I realize I am not rolling when I sleep. I remember, in more normal pain free times, rolling in my sleep. I either sleep too deeply currently, or something else is going on. I never wake needing to pee (a good thing as it is a symptom of diabetes, though anyone who drinks too much too late might need to go during the night). I remember nothing from the nights. I used to need to take my socks off, or kick my feet out from the covers, and often both. It has been so long since I have done either that I cannot remember. I am dreaming though. Something from my early high school days. Something about pretty girls, girls I saw naked and wanted to see naked, bubble gum, friends, and "stuff". Thankfully my shoes were tied in the dream. I often went without doing so in my youth.
What does this tell me? It tells me there IS something different. It tells me it is not psychological, probably. At least what is happening now is simply an anomaly with my sleep function. Thankfully I was built to take pain, was built solid. I might be a bit cranky around the neck joints, I might be a bit stiff, but I think it could be worse. I ought to do stretches of some sort. No... attention to detail is needed, it is something I cannot give. Bad stretching could actually do damage, and I do tend to get obsessive. I think I will stick with sore for the moment.
Oh, right. Not only did I do some of the dishes, I actually put the food up this time. I am not a great fan of leftover spaghetti, but it is better than... scraping something else together. And, it is not just sitting in the pans, making a stink, or wasting away in the garbage. It should be interesting to see about another round of this whole wheat pasta. Regular pasta was not great the second time. It did not hold up well to reheating. I found techniques which proved more successful, but...
A little waking up first. I am up late, but I went to bed even later. Less than seven hours of sleep, so I am fine considering what I got done and "dinner". Have a great day. Avoid brown ground fruits, wooden nickels, and voting for politicians who hide when they are being asked to cut spending (first and last are about equal, wooden nickels if understood can be collectable).
(By the way, spellcheck was trying to change "collectable" to "collectible". I had never read or heard that correction before (and do not, explicitly, trust spellcheck). I finally have my big old dictionary right chere. So, a thumbing through, and... both. So, I both learned something (I would have corrected someone else's "collectible" or thought them in error) and enjoyed using my dictionary for the first time in a while. And, if technically correct, I HATE "collectible". Later!)
Being a good boy and all...
.
.
For doing the dishes I decided to make a more proper meal. Spaghetti with meat sauce was the choice. I tried something new though. Whole wheat spaghetti is a new and... interesting thing? Yes, that might be the best description. I do not like whole wheat bread, other than when it pops out of the oven and with butter. Whole wheat bread does not work well for sandwiches or toast or, really, any way I traditionally might use bread. And day old is worthless, at least two or three days old. Still, I am trying to eat a bit more "right". Rather than go to whole wheat bread, I have merely cut my use of bread drastically and stayed with "white" bread. This, whole wheat spaghetti, however I might stick with. I did fear the price, and eschew generics. I also avoid "organic" and the higher end foods. Actually, the brand I went with was less expensive than my regular spaghetti, if that is one instance where I tended to go higher end.
Whole wheat spaghetti is a very different animal. The taste is definitely different. It certainly is heavier. The texture is more a plus while the taste? It does not really have a flavor, not one I can decipher. I also did not get a rush from it. That last was very odd as I did not realize I got a rush from spaghetti until I did not get the rush. Slower to digest, of course, as all whole grain products are. What was also odd is, though I did splurge and eat more than I normally would due to a number of factors, I ended up being full rather quickly. With regular pasta, I end up feeling hungry even when I seem full. The more full I am, even to past the stuffed sensation, the hungrier I seem to get. I was quite full and satisfied after only a portion of what I would normally have eaten. Interesting indeed. I have two more packs of the stuff. I am actually looking forward to more testing. It really is not bad, or... that is my first take.
Oh, and I did wash the sauce pan and am soaking the pasta pot. Tomorrow I hope to finish off the last of the pots and pans and some laundry. I would also like to take a closer look at the instructions for the bench I intend to use for reloading and measure the room again, to make sure what, exact, sizes of wood cuts I will need. They say measure twice, cut once. As a new woodworker, I would rather measure three or four times, then check again. I do not want to be half way through the project only to find I do not have the room to construct the thing where it needs to go, or otherwise fit it into the room. The door to the area is small, the area is tight. The room was, I think, literally a cloak room for a farming family. In a way, it is a fancy thing, or traditional. Now it stores survival gear and will be a tucked away bullet manufacturing area as well. To each his own.
Well, it is well past bedtime. Making dinner takes time. So be it. I deserved a good meal today. I should eat right more often, but for the dishes, shopping, and such I would. Good night. Or good morning, most likely.
.
For doing the dishes I decided to make a more proper meal. Spaghetti with meat sauce was the choice. I tried something new though. Whole wheat spaghetti is a new and... interesting thing? Yes, that might be the best description. I do not like whole wheat bread, other than when it pops out of the oven and with butter. Whole wheat bread does not work well for sandwiches or toast or, really, any way I traditionally might use bread. And day old is worthless, at least two or three days old. Still, I am trying to eat a bit more "right". Rather than go to whole wheat bread, I have merely cut my use of bread drastically and stayed with "white" bread. This, whole wheat spaghetti, however I might stick with. I did fear the price, and eschew generics. I also avoid "organic" and the higher end foods. Actually, the brand I went with was less expensive than my regular spaghetti, if that is one instance where I tended to go higher end.
Whole wheat spaghetti is a very different animal. The taste is definitely different. It certainly is heavier. The texture is more a plus while the taste? It does not really have a flavor, not one I can decipher. I also did not get a rush from it. That last was very odd as I did not realize I got a rush from spaghetti until I did not get the rush. Slower to digest, of course, as all whole grain products are. What was also odd is, though I did splurge and eat more than I normally would due to a number of factors, I ended up being full rather quickly. With regular pasta, I end up feeling hungry even when I seem full. The more full I am, even to past the stuffed sensation, the hungrier I seem to get. I was quite full and satisfied after only a portion of what I would normally have eaten. Interesting indeed. I have two more packs of the stuff. I am actually looking forward to more testing. It really is not bad, or... that is my first take.
Oh, and I did wash the sauce pan and am soaking the pasta pot. Tomorrow I hope to finish off the last of the pots and pans and some laundry. I would also like to take a closer look at the instructions for the bench I intend to use for reloading and measure the room again, to make sure what, exact, sizes of wood cuts I will need. They say measure twice, cut once. As a new woodworker, I would rather measure three or four times, then check again. I do not want to be half way through the project only to find I do not have the room to construct the thing where it needs to go, or otherwise fit it into the room. The door to the area is small, the area is tight. The room was, I think, literally a cloak room for a farming family. In a way, it is a fancy thing, or traditional. Now it stores survival gear and will be a tucked away bullet manufacturing area as well. To each his own.
Well, it is well past bedtime. Making dinner takes time. So be it. I deserved a good meal today. I should eat right more often, but for the dishes, shopping, and such I would. Good night. Or good morning, most likely.
Thursday, February 24, 2011
The Mom.
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I am getting more things done. No shooting today, as I said, the weather was closing in even last night. The sun did come out, but who knows how much snow was deposited before that. I have been working on the dishes. The pans are half way to being available again. Some are done, some are soaking, and a few are yet to be started. I collect dirty pans, you know!
It seems, however, that the clock is ticking. My mother called today to inform me that for three weeks, starting near the end of March, she would be quite pleased if I bought her tickets and prepared for her visit. Well, okay. Huh!?! Okies. This means I will have to figure out how to... do some things. Oh, she will work hard when she gets here, regardless of what I do. Still, I would rather her not be too unhappy when she arrives. That, however, is totally unavoidable in some ways. As my Mom, she will be pleased to just see me. As a woman, or more human, she must always be somewhat disappointed. It is the only way to set the agenda. I know this, if more form a guy's perspective.
So, to figure out how to get the place in some kind of order for her visit. I will think on it. And pray about it. Time is ticking though. Ah well. One way or another, she will be here shortly. Good night.
.
I am getting more things done. No shooting today, as I said, the weather was closing in even last night. The sun did come out, but who knows how much snow was deposited before that. I have been working on the dishes. The pans are half way to being available again. Some are done, some are soaking, and a few are yet to be started. I collect dirty pans, you know!
It seems, however, that the clock is ticking. My mother called today to inform me that for three weeks, starting near the end of March, she would be quite pleased if I bought her tickets and prepared for her visit. Well, okay. Huh!?! Okies. This means I will have to figure out how to... do some things. Oh, she will work hard when she gets here, regardless of what I do. Still, I would rather her not be too unhappy when she arrives. That, however, is totally unavoidable in some ways. As my Mom, she will be pleased to just see me. As a woman, or more human, she must always be somewhat disappointed. It is the only way to set the agenda. I know this, if more form a guy's perspective.
So, to figure out how to get the place in some kind of order for her visit. I will think on it. And pray about it. Time is ticking though. Ah well. One way or another, she will be here shortly. Good night.
Why now?
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After a long day of little, I am able to work. I have been catching up on dishes, and was thinking about doing more. But, why at midnight or later? Why now? I was up all day long but just now have whatever it is that allows me to work? Frustrating. I had promised my friend that if the weather was good we would go shooting tomorrow. So, before I stayed up any later I decided to check the weather. The bad weather is here already and will continue for some time, into several days if they are correct. Clear to clean, staying up as late as I wish to get as much done as possible. This window of opportunity does not happen often, I take it when I can.
Have you ever opened your windows and forgotten them open? Yeah, it does tend to get chilly in the winter. No furnace is that good, and probably thank the heavens. I am still thawing out from that. Still, it is something to chuckle about. The cats, I do not believe, thought it was all that funny. Another thing, of course, to chuckle about. They were nowhere to be found while opening the windows but they followed me around as I was closing them. Just to make sure I suppose. Who knows, though, what is really going through the mind of a cat at any given time. It would, truly, be interesting to find out though.
Well, a bit of goofing as another load of dishes soaks. I have pretty much cleared up the serving dishes and utensils. Pots and pans, of course, lag. Ah well. Good night.
.
After a long day of little, I am able to work. I have been catching up on dishes, and was thinking about doing more. But, why at midnight or later? Why now? I was up all day long but just now have whatever it is that allows me to work? Frustrating. I had promised my friend that if the weather was good we would go shooting tomorrow. So, before I stayed up any later I decided to check the weather. The bad weather is here already and will continue for some time, into several days if they are correct. Clear to clean, staying up as late as I wish to get as much done as possible. This window of opportunity does not happen often, I take it when I can.
Have you ever opened your windows and forgotten them open? Yeah, it does tend to get chilly in the winter. No furnace is that good, and probably thank the heavens. I am still thawing out from that. Still, it is something to chuckle about. The cats, I do not believe, thought it was all that funny. Another thing, of course, to chuckle about. They were nowhere to be found while opening the windows but they followed me around as I was closing them. Just to make sure I suppose. Who knows, though, what is really going through the mind of a cat at any given time. It would, truly, be interesting to find out though.
Well, a bit of goofing as another load of dishes soaks. I have pretty much cleared up the serving dishes and utensils. Pots and pans, of course, lag. Ah well. Good night.
Wednesday, February 23, 2011
Not too shabby.
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.
I received part of my order today, from Cabela's. I have yet to try on the pants, two sizes. My 42 waist pants are starting to be uncomfortably loose. A belt only does so much. Still, I am not quite a 38 yet either. Or am I? I will find out. Many old jeans will go away, though I will save a small pile of them purely for work. I do intend to work, when I can. Lawn work if nothing else, but I have some other things on the menu. I received one of the stools, the one without a back. It is cheap, plastic, odd, but it will do. It is also convenient, light, and seems strong enough. We will see. I received one of two of the magazine loading devices for a late Christmas present for my friend. Who knows when the rest of it will show up. The missing stool was supposed to be in stock when I ordered, but the larger magazine loading device was on a one week backorder. I will not complain though really, just note.
The day is sunny, most of the time. Clouds have moved in and out, making for a fun (to me) day. I like a little bit of a mixture to my weather, all save freezing rain is good to me. I like some sun and some shadow, I like rain and snow and clear. I absolutely love thunderstorms, even when I might get caught out in one. It is just how I am. I am savoring the last drops of winter. Only for summer do I wish for a quick brutal end to the season. That last two weeks to month tries every bone of patience I have in me. And the high heat part of the season also tests my nerves. Still, I try my best to enjoy even that.
Sassy continues to be my little fruitbasket. Jumping and scratching, whoever or whatever, playing with cords, figuring out just what might make Sam actually get up and do something about whatever she is doing (or what can get pop-o off his chair, out of bed, or even moving quicker). A little rascal and I do love her for it. She, like all girls, just wants to have fun! Thank God she cannot do makeup or get pregnant. That is all I am saying right there. Sam continues to be the rock, mostly. Oh, she goes through her girly stages, and playful moments, but she is pretty much a lap cat and passive observer. She is getting out more. She is dying for spring so I will go out with her more often. As much as those two cats fight though, I can tell they do like each other. A lot. As Sassy is becoming more of an equal, Sam is liking her more and more. Mostly.
It is a fine day to be alive. I am hoping to figure out how to get some things going. A bit more cleaning, work on the reloading bench, a bit of sorting, and some gun cleaning are roughly on the list for when the brute can be bothered. Bits and pieces, scattered efforts, all heading... somewhere. Later.
.
I received part of my order today, from Cabela's. I have yet to try on the pants, two sizes. My 42 waist pants are starting to be uncomfortably loose. A belt only does so much. Still, I am not quite a 38 yet either. Or am I? I will find out. Many old jeans will go away, though I will save a small pile of them purely for work. I do intend to work, when I can. Lawn work if nothing else, but I have some other things on the menu. I received one of the stools, the one without a back. It is cheap, plastic, odd, but it will do. It is also convenient, light, and seems strong enough. We will see. I received one of two of the magazine loading devices for a late Christmas present for my friend. Who knows when the rest of it will show up. The missing stool was supposed to be in stock when I ordered, but the larger magazine loading device was on a one week backorder. I will not complain though really, just note.
The day is sunny, most of the time. Clouds have moved in and out, making for a fun (to me) day. I like a little bit of a mixture to my weather, all save freezing rain is good to me. I like some sun and some shadow, I like rain and snow and clear. I absolutely love thunderstorms, even when I might get caught out in one. It is just how I am. I am savoring the last drops of winter. Only for summer do I wish for a quick brutal end to the season. That last two weeks to month tries every bone of patience I have in me. And the high heat part of the season also tests my nerves. Still, I try my best to enjoy even that.
Sassy continues to be my little fruitbasket. Jumping and scratching, whoever or whatever, playing with cords, figuring out just what might make Sam actually get up and do something about whatever she is doing (or what can get pop-o off his chair, out of bed, or even moving quicker). A little rascal and I do love her for it. She, like all girls, just wants to have fun! Thank God she cannot do makeup or get pregnant. That is all I am saying right there. Sam continues to be the rock, mostly. Oh, she goes through her girly stages, and playful moments, but she is pretty much a lap cat and passive observer. She is getting out more. She is dying for spring so I will go out with her more often. As much as those two cats fight though, I can tell they do like each other. A lot. As Sassy is becoming more of an equal, Sam is liking her more and more. Mostly.
It is a fine day to be alive. I am hoping to figure out how to get some things going. A bit more cleaning, work on the reloading bench, a bit of sorting, and some gun cleaning are roughly on the list for when the brute can be bothered. Bits and pieces, scattered efforts, all heading... somewhere. Later.
Tuesday, February 22, 2011
A nice day for a trip.
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.
It was rough, getting up this morning. Lower caffeine has bungled my scheduling a bit. I am hoping to normalize and get back on track with less caffeine. It is sad to think how many things we are hooked on. Not caffeine? Not food? How about habits all by themselves? Do you have routines that if disrupted cause you to be out of sorts? Probably. We all have something. One of my problems with starting medicine is two fold, actually. But you could say it comes down to losing access. Whether I fail to take it on time (I never take too much, I often lose track and do not take it). Of course, there is always the fact that what the doctor giveth, the doctor can take away.
Still, I answered my the phone this morning. My friend called to give me a little help getting going. I did stay in bed a bit after that, though not too long. The rest of the day was smooth. A shower, dressing, and driving were flawless. I did not even feel exhausted today. I am sort of watching my nickels, so I was hoping not to spend too much today. In the first place we stopped, though, I found some Under Armor t-shirts that looked, felt, and are perfect. And at a reasonable (to me) price of $20 per. Being a bit unsure about size, I even asked to use the changing room. They are perfect in spite of not being described as tall sized. Oh, and... I am looking much better. I may not be a body builder but compared to last year and for a decade before that, I am looking much better. Then as we were heading to the next stop I noticed a Home Depot. I know the local Home Depot carried the brand, just not the particular product I wanted. So, I stopped at the one in Ogden (or one of them?). Sure enough, right there. I checked the display model, made sure it was right. When that checked, I picked up my first random orbit sander! But, to nickels. Yes, pop-o spent like mom-o at a flea market, chocolate boutique, or clothes store. Meh, not really. No, a hundred and thirty dollars is not quite a spending spree. Still... it is to me.
My friend found bullets, more bullets, and then some loaded bullets. I do need to get him out shooting sometime soon. He is going to get backlogged way to far in those! He must have four or five thousands loads for each of his calibers! He likes to load, he likes to shoot. It is his one thing and he loves it. I sure wish I could find him a job unloading bullets using a gun. :) He would seriously do it all day long and not even think about it.
I grabbed something to eat on our way from home. And while it was good, I was getting a bit hungry on the way back. A stop at another place, and we both ended up fed and happy. Life is good. I really need to figure out how to get out more and to other places. Avalanche warnings are on high, at the moment, so the backcountry is not it. I do not even care to challenge passes. It is snowing today, and I have it on luke-warmly reliable sources that a huge storm will be coming in Thursday and will stay for four or five days. What to do? I know if it is good in the morning on Thursday, I hope to grab my friend, some guns, and see if we can beat the weather and get out shooting.
Have a great day.
.
It was rough, getting up this morning. Lower caffeine has bungled my scheduling a bit. I am hoping to normalize and get back on track with less caffeine. It is sad to think how many things we are hooked on. Not caffeine? Not food? How about habits all by themselves? Do you have routines that if disrupted cause you to be out of sorts? Probably. We all have something. One of my problems with starting medicine is two fold, actually. But you could say it comes down to losing access. Whether I fail to take it on time (I never take too much, I often lose track and do not take it). Of course, there is always the fact that what the doctor giveth, the doctor can take away.
Still, I answered my the phone this morning. My friend called to give me a little help getting going. I did stay in bed a bit after that, though not too long. The rest of the day was smooth. A shower, dressing, and driving were flawless. I did not even feel exhausted today. I am sort of watching my nickels, so I was hoping not to spend too much today. In the first place we stopped, though, I found some Under Armor t-shirts that looked, felt, and are perfect. And at a reasonable (to me) price of $20 per. Being a bit unsure about size, I even asked to use the changing room. They are perfect in spite of not being described as tall sized. Oh, and... I am looking much better. I may not be a body builder but compared to last year and for a decade before that, I am looking much better. Then as we were heading to the next stop I noticed a Home Depot. I know the local Home Depot carried the brand, just not the particular product I wanted. So, I stopped at the one in Ogden (or one of them?). Sure enough, right there. I checked the display model, made sure it was right. When that checked, I picked up my first random orbit sander! But, to nickels. Yes, pop-o spent like mom-o at a flea market, chocolate boutique, or clothes store. Meh, not really. No, a hundred and thirty dollars is not quite a spending spree. Still... it is to me.
My friend found bullets, more bullets, and then some loaded bullets. I do need to get him out shooting sometime soon. He is going to get backlogged way to far in those! He must have four or five thousands loads for each of his calibers! He likes to load, he likes to shoot. It is his one thing and he loves it. I sure wish I could find him a job unloading bullets using a gun. :) He would seriously do it all day long and not even think about it.
I grabbed something to eat on our way from home. And while it was good, I was getting a bit hungry on the way back. A stop at another place, and we both ended up fed and happy. Life is good. I really need to figure out how to get out more and to other places. Avalanche warnings are on high, at the moment, so the backcountry is not it. I do not even care to challenge passes. It is snowing today, and I have it on luke-warmly reliable sources that a huge storm will be coming in Thursday and will stay for four or five days. What to do? I know if it is good in the morning on Thursday, I hope to grab my friend, some guns, and see if we can beat the weather and get out shooting.
Have a great day.
Monday, February 21, 2011
How can that be?
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.
That is not right, just not right I say. I cut my caffeine intake in half. Fine, that is all good and fine. Problem? I cannot sleep. Here it is, 5:00 in the morning, and I am just now finally maybe able to find sleep. I was probably drinking four to eight caffeine drinks a day, large glasses on coffee days. It did keep me awake, and I had thought it might be what was stretching my day, drinking in the afternoon being the main culprit. So why am I unable to sleep with half or less of the caffeine, and that stretched throughout the day? Some things I will simply never understand. Oh, why not just quit cold turkey? One word, headache. It is good to know one's limitations and this is one of mine. I suppose I could ween myself to zero caffeine. It probably would be better for me, maybe. But I also know, from having done that, my sleep cycles would become viciously erratic. I would not be able to tell day from night from week from month. As bad as I am it can get worse.
I am definitely in a pickle. I will have to figure some things out quickly. Yes, mother, to whatever you were going to say. I am pushing every button I know how to push, talking to anyone who might be able to help, and looking for every venue to shine I can find. It has been a bleak little while. Still, I have hope. It may be all I have. Then again, I have heard it said that it is only the hopeless who may truly understand hope? Maybe. Wait, though. I do not consider myself hopeless. Just... as I said... in a pickle. I will just have to find a deli which can make use of one such as me. :p
Good... night? morning? Whatever. I am going to bed.
.
That is not right, just not right I say. I cut my caffeine intake in half. Fine, that is all good and fine. Problem? I cannot sleep. Here it is, 5:00 in the morning, and I am just now finally maybe able to find sleep. I was probably drinking four to eight caffeine drinks a day, large glasses on coffee days. It did keep me awake, and I had thought it might be what was stretching my day, drinking in the afternoon being the main culprit. So why am I unable to sleep with half or less of the caffeine, and that stretched throughout the day? Some things I will simply never understand. Oh, why not just quit cold turkey? One word, headache. It is good to know one's limitations and this is one of mine. I suppose I could ween myself to zero caffeine. It probably would be better for me, maybe. But I also know, from having done that, my sleep cycles would become viciously erratic. I would not be able to tell day from night from week from month. As bad as I am it can get worse.
I am definitely in a pickle. I will have to figure some things out quickly. Yes, mother, to whatever you were going to say. I am pushing every button I know how to push, talking to anyone who might be able to help, and looking for every venue to shine I can find. It has been a bleak little while. Still, I have hope. It may be all I have. Then again, I have heard it said that it is only the hopeless who may truly understand hope? Maybe. Wait, though. I do not consider myself hopeless. Just... as I said... in a pickle. I will just have to find a deli which can make use of one such as me. :p
Good... night? morning? Whatever. I am going to bed.
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