Sure, it's 10:00.

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And, yes, I am just waking up.  But I didn't get to sleep until right at 03:00.  Plus, I was up at 07:00 to close windows before the heat of the day hit.  And, actually, I was up a spit before 10:00, as I had time to use the facilities if merely for the simple, and get the ducks fed and started their water.  Time to shut that off, actually.

Done!  I wish it was as fast and easy to do things as it seems while writing a blog.  I'd be done all the time!

Oh, another of my hens has hatched ducklings.  But, just a pair.  And one may already be gone.  I am not sure her remaining one will last either.  She isn't... favored... by the group.  She is the all black one, and they really don't like her.  She had some of the prettiest chicks so far.  

Then again, I might say that about all the new sets.  You know how proud grandpas can be.  There were a golden yellow, front and back, with a saddle stripe of black down their middle, from the fold of their not-quite but becoming wings to right before their tale.  And these were the fattest chicks so far.  One got stuck in the fencing, as with a neighbor who had to free one.  So I freed it, having to just take a charging attack by the mom.  Fluffiest little buggers!  They... really can attack, don't think it's a joke.

Oh, and this morning, just before deciding to get up to close the windows for the day, the curtain was opened, just a crack, by a freak off blowing of the fan.  It opened just a crack, and I saw the sun for a flash.  I, of course, as is my want, immediately got a bloody nose.  A gusher.  Had to act fast.  Still spilled some.

Then I dreamed, after going back to bed.  Our team had gone into a village.  I am sure it was Vietnam, so wasn't actually me.  Anyway.  We got in a firefight.  We won, basically.  But we had gotten the attention of a larger actual combat unit.  They were spread out, so arrived in squad sized units.

We were forced to retreat, though there was no good call to stay either.  So, we were doing block group withdrawal.  Several men would plant, some or more would retreat while firing...  The planted men offering precision shots, more precise, the withdrawing men would offer covering fire.

In this case, no use using several firearms each to confuse the enemy.  The loss of what precision was possible was a lessor thing, the main thing being they could see us, as we were out in the open.  Part of that tactic was to make them think there were more of us than there was.  No dice, so greater precision was sought.

Back we went.  We were losing people left and right.  Attempts to help pull people out just lead to more casualties.  So, back we went.  We were successfully taking out the small units as they arrived, but they kept coming.  Finally it was just two of us.  My remaining partner was down to a sidearm, either a .357 or .44 magnum... not sure the .44 was in action at that time?  If it was, that is what it was.  He was, however, down to a single round.  I had an m-16, but was down to a mag and a half or so.

We were about 75 yards out, in a rice paddy.  We had just finished the last unit, luckily  they must have had incendiaries, of some sort, and maybe a flamethrower?  Something went up, and it spread like wildfire, or we wouldn't have made it.  One of their guys kept charging at us, on fire, but his will just couldn't beat death by flames.

We tucked low, and started crawling out.  As other units showed up, they seemed little interested in fighting more, so just spread out in the village, or began checking the dead and wounded.  I think we made it out from there.  Damn, though, that place was hot and humid.  And muddy.  And the mud stank, and bugs.

Good thing too.  I couldn't have committed suicide.  And might well have been captured.  Though we heard they didn't take soldiers as prisoners, so we might well have been shot.  Though, maybe, not before torture.  The guy with the pistol said he could and would shoot himself.  I just told him I couldn't, but if a mate saw to it, that wouldn't be on me.  He winked.  With and at, with and at...

Was glad to wake from that one, if more because of the heat and humidity than the fighting.  That's just how that goes, but the heat and humidity, even in just a dream... 

Today?  Japanese.  I believe I will go to review mode.  Try to hit as many hiragana as possible, if not all, in review.  Writing two rows of each, while pronouncing them.  As well, with the flashcards, I may begin doing memorization drills.  Keep that in my front shirt pocket, and pull it out and use it from time to time.  I need to get stickers to add to ones I miss, so as to focus on those.  I am at about, from my first use of those, 30 to 40 percent recall.  Though that will bounce around a great deal over time, as I just started drilling.

Tomorrow I will begin the alternate and exceptional pronunciations.  I think there are about one and a half as many of the variances as the simple characters, give or take.  But, having the standard characters down will make learning this much quicker.  All this week?  Maybe.

I do wonder how much past memory I should go.  I know, in college, they absolutely shove you past your ability to remember.  Is it that they don't want you to consciously remember?  Are they trying to get you to learn in a different way?  Is this how they add subliminal messaging, or push you past what you know to be right, true, good, beautiful?

There may be a method to that madness, if too, costs.  In a classroom, I would be doing the kanas, learning phrases, learning culture (according to academia), probably even learning kanji as well, and as many characters, in each form, as I am learning just of hiragana currently.  I have never liked the pacing of formal education.  Or the flow, direction, or volume.  I am betting money my method will not only end up being faster, but better.  I... sometimes think they don't teach so that people will learn.  They almost try to force us not to learn?  Maybe even try to get us to hate what we are learning, and learning itself?  Most don't care, which doesn't help.

I may do more work with the slide rule.  Oh, it doesn't have two ones after all.  It seemed like it, but on closer inspection, one of the 1's is enough smaller to be a subset.  Just, in the panic of it all, it looked like they were the same size.  I have figured out how to get numbers from the left side.  But when that goes over, getting numbers from the right side isn't yet making sense.  

Why learn a slide rule?  Life comes at you fast.  Just how long will batteries be available, or chips for calculators?  And, they are making calculators with "rechargeable" batteries, meaning they will be an automatic brick in between two and six years.  They are building the future to fail.  So, yes, slide rule.  Not even really for me.  So that I can teach another how to use it, possibly.  If I can learn it, that is.  Ugh.

Later.

Done.

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It is, was, 78 out there at... a while ago.  When I started chores, or when I finished?  Whatever.  Odd how food, water, or both can either be consumed swiftly, or not seemingly at all.  I keep checking the waterers, to make sure they flow.  Just in case.  All is good.  Even so, one day they drink next to nothing, eat nothing, then they will take it all in a day.  I don't begrudge, I just don't fully understand.  If needed, watering will happen three times a day.  Food I would cut them to a portion, but no real need.

I may have found out why the indian runner isn't hatching out.  And, I may find a solution.  I think the other ducks are eating her eggs.  So... so, I may have to figure out fencing around her little area.  Putting food and water in there for her, making it big enough that she can walk around just a bit, but closing it off... or at least making it too small for the bigger drakes to get in, or for more than one of even the smaller ducks to get in at a time.  This would allow her to be defensive.

I like the idea, but to do it without chasing her off the nest?  Well, and to get to it.  In this heat, and any time really, doing this is very difficult.  Just being awake is a trick, at this time.  It is already up to 78 inside, if more in this front room near the machine.  Not doing well.

Still, I am planning, hoping, for some work today.  Moving a few of the larger limbs.  And, today or tomorrow, beginning to pull the cut down smaller branches, off the pile they are in, setting up cinder blocks, and restacking those, and others.  Perhaps putting a few t-posts in, on either side, to allow a higher, more stable, stack.

In order to do the latter, I will have to pull t-posts.  Which... might give me some of the material for a protected duck nesting area.  And it has chicken fencing on it, so that would work for filler, along with the t-posts... if I can just... sleep, cool, and relax enough to get into shape to work.  Then be up early enough to do it before it gets too hot.  Bleh... plans, goals, will see.

Later.

It worked, a bit.

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Two air conditioners seem to have cooled it off up there.  If, then, only after it was to 72~74, and the sun was setting.  I'm not sure how much it will do during the day.  It only, even then, brought it down to 76.  But, with the fans, that was... almost pleasant.

I can't be sure when I went to bed.  If I had to guess, I'd say 21:00, plus or minus an half hour.  Waking, probably, about 06:00, within the same constraints.  But I didn't do more than shut the house down.  It is in the mid 70's, as I wake, down here.  Back to bed though.  It has been some time since I was able to sleep more than four to six hours.  I desperately needed sleep.

Still, going back to bed, I couldn't get back to sleep.  I had turned the ac off, later last night too, but I'm not sure when?  At ~06:00, or  earlier?  I know I left the windows open after.  No, I... think I closed the windows upstairs at ~06:00.  Not sure when I turned the ac off.

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I dreamed.  A long trek up a mountain, with a group.  Cross country.  There were six experienced and two of us noobs, a gal and myself.  We got talked into it.  We weren't told the rest of the story upfront, however, and found ourselves (us noobs) in a bit of a jam.

There was a place to stay, if you got up and couldn't make the trek back.  But there was no other way down, at that hour, except to ski down.  The next day, you could either ski down, or even wait for a bus which would take you down.  The crew, once we got there, talked us into going along with them, back.

The trek back, because it was circuitous, would take five hours (for experienced skiers).  The only seriously dangerous part would be a switchback, down a cliff.  The switchbacks weren't too daft, but the cliff face was severe.  A fall off the edge, or a failure to stop at the turn, would be fatal.

We decided to go, but I required a promise to spend extra time, along the way, teaching us noobs how to break, slow, steer.  And I made them keep that promise.  And we did make it, albeit in six to six and an half hours.  And we became much better skiers for it.  I still have a belief that the other six had a deadpool going (as in a bet on who is going to die, perhaps when as well).  I get the feeling that had done this before, and had "lost" noobs.  It was only my forethought to ask about risks, and my demand and command that they uptrain us on the way, that prevented one or both of our deaths.

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Oh, but the cold.  It was quite good to dream of being in that.  Imagine, 76 being cool enough to trigger such a dream.  Yeah, it's hot here.  Too hot.  Hopefully, now, I will have a place to sleep or rest from time to time.  Though, to be honest, even that temperature will... does... cause slight heartsickness when sleeping in it.  I may acclimate to it, but not last night.  Still, it's as good as I have had in weeks?  Pretty much.  I have two more windows, up there, which would accept an ac.  Not sure that would help, but... might try it, when I have to money to try it.

I'll get the ducks and rabbits in a bit.  I tossed food out for the really little ones, and they were eating like crazy.  Mom has finally realized, when I toss feed, I am trying to do them a favor.  She is still a bit leery.  I toss it to the side, but...  I have had to teach each mother this.  Or try.  

The first batch of chicklettes is nearing the size of a smaller chicken.  They have a different type of feather, from adults and from the younger chicks.  They still look half formed, but... getting there.  The smallest ducklings look more like miniature ducks than chicks. They are all growing at the same pace, within each group, so that telling if there are males or females is currently impossible.  I will be very glad when Henrietta, the indian runner hen, finishes with her brood.  She is right by the door, and at the very least, gives me stinkeye every time I go out to feed and tend.  It was HER choice where to set!

Well, feeling rough today.  Kidneys, ribs, headache.  But the sleep, a decent, restful, cooler, sleep, makes all that just... something else.  I'll hit tylenol.  Forgot the last two times I was going to take them.  So... yes.  Tylenol.  And, if I can, I might work on gathering branches and/or twigs.  If I overheat to sickness, I'll take a shower, turn on ac, and... see how well it works as I crash or maybe rest.  Later.

It is finally warming.

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Chores, and laundry hung.  Three work cargo pants, socks, and open toe compression socks for some nights when I need compression by my toes have had it.  I don't need compression all the time?  Well, maybe.  But I can't do them all the time.  Still, when I need them, there they are.

The birds are looking healthy, happy, and were certainly hungry.  The first batch of ducklings are able to get into the feed pans, sort of.  The new ones are still just tiny little things.  I'm not sure when Henrietta is due, but it won't be too long... assuming she keeps enough of them warm to survive.  Weather like this makes me wonder.  But the other ladies pulled through, so...

The rabbits are all good.  Feed for these this day, water for those next.  Nothing fancy, sometimes odd.  I ought to track their feed and water, but... not sure what that would get me.  More a curiosity thing.  The only one which consistently surprises me is the doe who was so mean.  I think she might be a cross between little and big.  She has the hunger and thirst of the bigger rabbits, and is twice as twitchy and aggressive as the smaller rabbits.  Dominant, brutally so.

I had thought to not deal with her.  However, like it or night, she may have the fight for life you want in a rabbit.  As long as it doesn't turn as deadly to her babies.  She would be worth a shot.  If I can find a male aggressive enough to breed her.  What a bitch, seriously.  Taming of shrews isn't just a human thing.

It was 60 when I went out and started things, a quarter to half after eight.  By a quarter after nine it was only up to 62.  And it's a colder 62, not warm or even warming feeling.  Not a complaint.  I suspect we won't get such a break from the heat, again, for a while?  Who knows though.  Summer may end up dead, or very muted.

BP is 154/98 with a pulse of 76 before medicine has been taken.  Blood sugar is 98 but after breakfast and a first smaller dose of insulin.  BP is better than usual, blood sugar is... probably a bit low.  I best eat something, of course minus insulin.  If it was 150, and I was eating, maybe a small dose.  Besides, bacon and eggs shouldn't drive blood sugar higher.

Food, then gaming as I rest.  A shower, shave, and setting up dishes after that?  It is sort of the plan.  Plans are great until they fall.  I may end up needing a nap somewhere in there.  Still, it's possible to get all things, and more, even with a nap.  That is the wonderful thing about waking early.  Good morning and day.

Some things bring cheer.

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While sorting through life, and troubles, toils, and efforts, I started a load of laundry.  Jackets and other heavier things.  Those were done, and the sun is out.  It's in the low 70's out there, maybe just at 70 last time I looked?  I thought so.  But warm enough, and no threat of rain I could tell, so the items were set out to dry.

While out there, Sam... wanted attention.  I mean... really wanted attention.  I gave her some, and promised to let her in when I went in.  This seemed to relax her.  Not sure what was up, but it's okay.  I'll take care of her, and tend her as I may.  Little, and old, but she has as much say as I can offer.

While putting up the clothes, Mourning Dove was acting a bit peculiar.  Fearful?  She usually isn't afraid of me, or as afraid as others.  I stopped what I was doing, and approached, gently, slowly.  She began acting a bit more peculiar, so I stopped.  Aha!  She has chicks.  Four, little blobs of yellow, black, feather, beak, and feet.  Tiny little things.  So I calmed her and backed away.

So, at least for now, it looks like I have two mommas with, currently, seven chicks, and more on the way with another of the ladies.  Oh, I am quite pleased.  There really isn't much I can do for them.  Make sure the pool is on a tilt, so they won't drown (probably).  Don't fill the side dishpan pool, until they are all bigger.  Tossing feed just for them doesn't seem to get them fed any better.  The mothers seem to know how to feed them, by showing them where, how, and maybe what to eat?  Still, I will toss some feed on the ground... where they can see me doing it.  Not much else I can do.  I am so pleased.

Hmm?  Well, dishes, it is hoped, yet later today.  I'm not moving fast, or well.  It is cool enough, in here, still.  At 75, near the computer, in the front room, mid-afternoon, and cooler everywhere else, it's okay.  Still, sleep is off, food is off, bp still isn't all that good, and blood sugar... at least that wasn't too bad last time... 141 I think?

Yes, dishes.  Oh, and another load of laundry to be put out, in an hour when it is done, or so.  Mostly pants, synthetics, work cargoes.  Those will go on the other other line, and I'll bring in what little is dry.  Dishes may just go in, and not all of them.  Most though.  Pots and a pans, cooking utensils, for now.  Not a lot to do, but I'm not moving fast or well.  That will have to do.

The idea is good.

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The thing is, as I stretch into the night, with intent to work, and my body is slowing at an increasing rate, I get stuck between falling asleep and trying to stay awake to work.  It... can get ugly.  It is late.

The ribs were extremely good.  They had... softened a bit.  But in the best possible way.  Absolutely fresh meat can be a bit hard, harsh.  This didn't have that feel.  I ate about half.  The rest will be put up shortly.  Absolutely fantastic food.  More tomorrow.  And, I will debone the chicken, and put that up.  For soup... stew if possible.  So hungry for that stuff.

As for dishes?  I think I am going to give up on that.  For tonight.  I will drain those, set them aside, and hopefully yet take a shower.  Ugh.  Well, and maybe reset the waterers.  If I rush, I might be able to be to bed in an hour.  If... if I can get to any of it.  I will do what I can.  It is raining outside.  It is just at freezing.  Or the roof is crinkling?  I think it is rain.  Wouldn't surprise me if it turns to hail... but little hail.  We don't, haven't since I have lived here, been hit by big stones.  Hope I didn't just doom us?

The rabbits are covered.  And bigger hail stones wouldn't get through the caging material itself.  Plus they are under the forty foot evergreens.  Well protected, as well as I can do.  The ducks are indoors... if in the out of doors.  While they may leave, ducks are smart enough to hide out of things... at least after a few dings.

Oh, something funny about the ducks?  My little indian runner, Henry, about a third the size of the muscovy drake Herc(ules), decided he liked one of the muscovy hens.  She was down with it, but Herc was having none of it.  Henry... if he wasn't absolutely clobbering, was certainly holding his own.  I had to laugh and laugh.  Herc didn't think my chuckles were all that pleasing.  

Well, at least I can stop worrying about Henry being mashed to death by ol'... young... Herc.  I was pleased with his pluck, if even I would rather he keep to his own.  I ought to get a few more hens for him this spring though.  Two is sort of tight.  Herc has four, if Theseus is going to begin vying for those.  I'll probably need to get a few more hens of that sort as well.  Or there will be far too many problems.  

Theseus is still a bit young for such, but his time is coming.  Still... had to laugh.  Henry was easily holding his own, and Penguin Girl was hoping he'd... win.  I just didn't have time, interfered because initially I thought Henry was about to get killed.  Herc thanked me, save for hurting his ego by laughing when I finally caught it all.  Heh.

Good night.

Late waking.

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It's been a while I have been waking in the afternoon.  I was able to push it a few days.  As soon as that ended, my body just went back to sleeping days, up at afternoon to morning.  On the good side, when I do as the body requests, I sleep less... say eight to ten hours.  I keep trying to push, pull, or shove the schedule around.  I can, but the price is too high, generally.

I had the water bottles ready for the rabbits.  Then added feed to their feeders, filling them this time.  I'll see how quickly that goes.  Their other bottles are thawed.  From now on, I think I will try to have three rotations.  A smaller or larger one first or second, preferably during the day when it is warmer.  Then the smallest ones for overnight.  Keeping them full, and in a bucket, ready to go, makes it a lot easier.  Next I have to figure out hay, timothy hay, distributors.  Some of the cages have a sort of cage manger, but not all of the cages, with rabbits, have them.  I think there are enough to change the rabbits to those cages, or change the mangers to the rabbits... whichever seems... less of a hassle.

The ducks next.  One of the new ladies is doing just fine.  The new drake, and one of the hens, seems to be a bit... hesitant.  Fair enough, even Henry... the original drake, now dwarfed by the muscovy drakes, is... hesitant.  When I heal up a bit, I will get the other outbuilding set up for the muscovys, then create an inner door and replace the outer door, so I can keep them in.  Then put the muscovys out there for a month or two... to get them acclimated.  Or should I put the indian runners out there?  Maybe...  

The more distant building has more room, but no windows or else.  The muscovys like flying out and grazing earlier.  I like letting them.  Plus, there is a second level, in the closer outbuilding, which only the muscovys can use, since they can fly.  Ugh... decisions.  I do have to clean out the furthest outbuilding before it can be used, though.  Hmm... I bet I could craft a nesting area, if one of the ladies goes broody, right out there, for them.  It adds a bit more work, though.  Making sure each single area has food, hay, water, and gets cleaned... but it isn't forever, just until the quackles get large enough to survive group integration.

I gave the girls a snack before going out.  I will feed them, properly, shortly.  Otherwise they are all over my case.  A snack buys a sliver of time.  With me waking so late, they... get hissy fitty about it all.  I don't blame them.  Oh, best get there litter too.  I... don't think I got that yesterday.  Ribs and all.  And sleeping, the need for rest, and... else.

Ribs?  Well.  As long as I don't breath too deeply.  I have been pushing, today.  I... want to know limits, and what happens when I push those limits.  It hurts.  Even just sidling up to the limits feels like I freshly opened a wound in there.  Thrumming pulled muscles?  Further dislodging some disconnections in there?  It feels like a fresh cut, or maybe opening a fresh wound.  But... not quite that bad, or in that way, just similar.  Still, it is better.  I just can't completely leave it to just heal, it won't.  I have to go between ease and pushing, or it will never heal... I think.

Later.

In, mostly.

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Done?  Is it ever done?  Finishing is just a beginning.  Still, most arranged.  The rabbits, more than suspected, are home, fed, watered, and caged.  The new ducks are in.  Oh, my, but such a day.  Work was done, to get the cages we built set up.  Perhaps more arrangement tomorrow.  But it will be lighter work, mostly.  As well, tarps over the rabbits.

As for cages?  I was thinking it would be four.  And, well, technically, it was.  But four groups of cages.  The least had two cages, the most had four.  I think, sum total, there were twelve actual spaces, plus more to come.  One of the arriving cages is toast, but has bits for repair of the other cages, and could do in a pinch.  I would guess there are three to seven cage spaces which could be used for kitting.  And, the three we built, can be used for kitting.  So... yea...  I have plenty of space.

Not all of the cages can fit the buildings, but the critters can be outside.  Actually, all of them are outside tonight.  If with tarps over them.  Some of them had been as such where they came from.  And the few in the outbuilding had open doors, so only the wind was kept from them.  So very good.  This... gives me plenty of space.

As well, I picked up eight more rabbits.  Mini rexes.  Four male, four female.  And they dress out to about five pounds, if I wish them for food.  Oh, and I have asked for another male, full size rex, in case something happens to the untried buck.  If you guys think human females are... difficult... if a female rabbit doesn't get ridden right, or is ignored by the male, she might have his balls for lunch.  If he is too timid, she might end up riding him to his infertility.  Yea...  You have it easy.  *grins*

Anyway... everything is set up and stationed for the night.  A few rearrangements tomorrow.  I think I will put Hazel, my experienced doe, in the outbuilding.  As well as, several others and at least one of the new cage decks, possible two if they will fit.  I would rather have all the breeding sets out in the outbuilding, saving the cages closer to the house for feeders.

On another front, yesterday, something... popped... in my chest.  I thought, initially, it was a pulled muscle.  A few pops and... so...  I couldn't tell exactly what happened.  It didn't feel too bad, if I suspected something would become better defined, as to the problem.  And, finally, it did.  Thinking back, it was like a plastic case on something, roughly attached.  And you squeeze it, and something pops?  Right.  That... was my rib cage.  The right side.  I... don't think it was quite ready for what I was putting it through.

I tried to ignore.  I tried to cover.  Not sure I did well, if I'm pretty sure they just thought I was extra tired.  My ribs aren't fully attached, or something.  Breathing can be difficult and painful.  No worries, I have had worse, even just in the rib area.  But, I do need, after tomorrow, to take some down time.  And I do mean downtime.  Perhaps a week, where all I do is feed these, those, and self, and no more than lighter domestics and business calls.  Nerves, muscle, and bone in there feel rather loose, disjointed, bad.  I'll just get through the last of it.

But, it is finally done!  Or... set up to be done shortly.  Then to begin feeding and else.  Ugh!  A bit more blogging, then on to bed.  Good night.

Oh, right, and... yes.

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Mostly.  The pork roast and chicken are done.  Cooling, probably cool enough, to then be ziplocked and put in the refrigerator.  A shower was taken.  Laundry was at least parked in the wash room.  The girls have been tended.  I... am so terribly done.  But it is so late!  I want to stay up until dawn, and some change, to let the ducks out.  I have been letting them out later in the day, recently, which just isn't fair.  Even with water and food in there... if they have to peck through some ice... it's not like getting a whole day to search, peck, hunt, and enjoy the wind.

Oh, I best put the last dishes in for a soak.  I won't be able to do those yet tonight... nothing left in me to do more than maybe the ducks.  But, I would like to rinse, then reset that tomorrow.  I am hoping for another shower as well.  Lord knows, I miss those something awful.  Wouldn't surprise me if the neighbors can smell me across the lot, sometimes.

While it is terrible, at least being a guy means it... doesn't wreck my systems and such.  That, and standing to pee... and a few other things... make life good this way.  No matter hallucinations, then or when, reality is what it is.  Besides, who would want different.  Even women, feminists, want to be men.  Denial is... funny.  Trust me.  Anyway...

Oh, I did have a bit of the roast.  Quite good.  I have the drippings from the chicken and roast, and hope to try to make a gravy with it, when I wake.  Hmm, was considering how to save that, in the pot, in the fridge.  Not that much room.  Then it hit me, like a pizza pie in the eye?  Well, maybe not that.  But like a bolt... that... that...  I can just pour the drippings off, into a smaller container, and make gravy tomorrow.  I love gravy, just don't know how to make it.  Keto gravy, at that.  I'm almost excited.  There is enough drippings that I could make a few mistakes, or use several recipes, and have enough for various tries.  I like it thick, meaty, maybe slightly smoky, and... good to eat!

I best put the meats and drippings up.  Then check on the sun.  I really, really, want to go to bed.  I just... want to do right by the ducks.  I do like the critters.  They are friends, for my part.  Like... some of you. 

A bit disappointing.

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Disappointing?  Well, no major work today.  Still, I tried every trick I thought might work, including more pain pills.  Which... did work.  It just didn't matter.  Too tired.  Other than that, it was a wonderful day.

Take what is given, even as you lay dying or being given laurels even on high.  Gladly.

Oh, but as I was resetting water for the feathered ones, I... thought I had gone cross-eyed.  I had to... look, count, and think... several times.  Things weren't adding up.  But, in my favor.  An extra duck?  Ah!?!  Impossible!  But, no, it's true.  Thor is back!  What is it with my critters.  Sassy has run away, sort of, twice.  One time for months.  Now one of my drakes skipped town, or my yard town, for weeks, if more likely a month, two?  Back.

They are bathing, in the fresh water, so I am letting them at it.  I'll put them in, if most likely they will go in on their own by then, an hour... an half of which remains.  Then I'll go out and shut it all down.  On to bed after.  Dark and cool, if not quite freezing, out.  Freezing?  Well, actually, maybe.  I sure tried to get going today.  Tomorrow.  I can't take Sunday off.  If I can work, I must.  God knows, I... have to work when I can.

Good evening, and night.  Sleep and dream well.  Amen.

Bringing out the boy in the man.

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I watch this guy's videos with some frequency.  He covers swords, to battle axes, to movie reconstructions, to sword inlays of historic natures.  Everything a lad, or man, could imagine in the world of battle weapons of an old to very old European bent.  As well, he has... ideas... such as how to improve on a "Legolas" bow.  Look it up or never mind, but quite a curiosity... with potential for more.

At it.

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I was finally ready for the work.  I'm working okay.  What I wasn't prepared for is the dust!  Still, I have gotten the wood moved.  Some of it could come in handy.  Oh, and cow pies on the floor.  Actually, probably goat pies.  Dry, but then again, that makes them dusty.  I've thinking whether wearing a mast is possible, because it sure might help.

I've taken two breaks.  One more to get tools, a square shovel, two brooms, and a battery lantern.  I wouldn't trust a burning one out there with the dust as it is.  Who knows just how inflammable that stuff is.  My guess is rather.  This time, I am taking a break for reals.  I may have to work through the night, and tomorrow when I can get up.  I kept hoping to be able to be up earlier.  It just wasn't possible.  

Two loads of laundry, the last in the dryer.  I don't have time to hang that out, so... Options are good.  Plus, I put the dishes in for a soak.  I am hoping to finish those off tonight too.  A shower before work as well.  Yea, I know... mother.  Still, I feel better for it.  I'm... to it, officially, I guess one could say.  I have been pushing, and getting nowhere.  Until today.  It isn't just the deadline, I've already killed a couple of those.  I am working when I can stand.

I measured.  Good.  The shelves won't fit two full length hutches.  But it will fit a full size and a smaller one.  As well, I have another area that could be turned into a shelf for a smaller one, and one area that is big enough to put another six footer.  So, yea... they can all fit in one of the outhouses.  I will use the other one for the muscovys.  Plus, now?  they don't have away out.  I just worry a bit.  I will have to use some of the fencing to create a vestibule, of sorts... to lock them in.  Until they are used to it as their home.  I hope they can make the switch.  While herding ducks is easy, separating the herd is another thing.

But, yes, it is... at least starting.  An hour or two of work, and hour or two down.  If I can do three, or four, rounds of that, I'll... get there.  I'll be making noise at night, but I can shut the garage.  That will help some, with the pneumatic stapler and nailer.  Some.  It's what I can do.  It's why I tried to shove my days around before starting.  Bleh.  For the outbuilding, there is no electricity or possible range.  That will be hammer and nail, or cordless if I have enough screws and think they will work.

I'm stuck.  I have to go.  Night it is.  I did get a nice little piece of work done, plus the domestics.  When I go back, more shoveling, but the dust should have settled.  And shoveling won't bring up as much dust as moving stacks of plywood and beams covered in layers of dust.  I think I will see about a mask, as well.  It might not do a thing about Xi's virus, but it should help with the dust.  Later.

Double ugh!

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I did get to it, finally.  With all the tools and mats, but so late.  And... it always takes longer than one would imagine by vast amounts.  I got to work around 17:00, and was out of light by the time I constructed the two bases for the bigger cages.  I am running out of wood very quickly.  At least 2x2s and 2x4s.  I do have plywood, cage material, nails and else.  And, after reviewing the outbuildings, there are shelves.  How useful is another question.

Still, with the shelving, I have a good chance not needing to build legs.  And they seem, some of them, to be the right size.  I would like to have them all in one building.  Perhaps using the other building for other birds, in time.  Chickens?  Turkeys?  I don't think I save money, but I will say the quality will be much higher.  Plus, without being able to do real work?  This gives me a way to serve, and do, and almost earn a bit of my way.

The does are mostly sisters.  And are currently living together.  If I can get four cages, I could keep those together, keep the males in their own cage, plus have room for the seasoned doe... as she is probably used to having her own place.  Then, this coming month, figure out a few more cages.  Those can be smaller.  And, these cages should easily handle a kindle, perhaps more... if I want to keep a few aunts?  Depends on personalities?  Maybe that doesn't work, save with very young ones?  I have much to learn.

Boss showed.  Not needing the chainsaw for now.  Good thing, I was going to have to try to use the circular saw with a rather weak battery.  I did have the batteries charged though, and everything nearly ready to go.  I am hoping to get him to go with to pick up the rabbits and a few more muscovy hens.  I still don't have a phone, so... getting there would be a bit tricky.  Could look it up, and write instructions the old way, but my eyes are getting old and my writing is... well... about as bad these days.  Still, I've... found my way through all sorts of things.

Rather tired, sore, rough.  Aspirin as I go to bed.  I may have forgotten meds.  Too much to do, too little time, energy, focus.  I forgot much, actually.  Bleh.  I'll... get a few last things done, shower, then hit bed to try to be up early tomorrow... work on the cage a bit, off and on, and just doing what is possible elsewise.  I figure I'll head out to pick up the rabbits and birds sometime in the earlier afternoon.  It gets dark around here fast, these days, and I don't won't to try to find my way with a scribbled note in the dark.  Later.

Didn't see that coming.

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I watched Star Trek as a kid, on the television.  I used to think television, back then, was okay, until I reviewed much of it.  Same thing then as now.  Still, it was what was done.  I did enjoy S.T.  That and Batman and a few others.  Some reruns, some new.  Anyway, I was looking around on youtube and found something that through me.

At first I... wondered if it was an episode I had missed, or an episode where things where somehow different but nearly the same, maybe an episode they never published.  I watched part of one, but then realized what the gig was about, so when to find the first episode.  You know, for what it is, it was very well done.  Amazingly well done.

I don't think I'll watch more.  The problems with the original, and television in general, persist.  Still, it was a... interesting spin through time and space, without having to go anywhere.  I thought I'd leave it, for those who don't mind modernity, and might actually enjoy the episodes.  I'll leave you to it, with a slight pleasure at having been so well baffled.
It's about time to crash again.  I've gotten a load of laundry started, collected and got trash out after emptying cat litter in part or whole and switching out one of the pans.  I suppose I could feed the girls again... no, probably treat them.  I'll feed them fully later.  I've had two fatted teas, but with much less cream.  Just a tablespoon and an half, per... that's still 86 or so calories per, if memory serves.  I ought to check about whole milk and half and half...  Bleh.

It is only 77° outside, at nearing 14:00.  It is staying very cool indoors, of course.  Partly cloudy, or hazy?  A strange day out there.  Oh... one way to cut calories of the chicken thighs... between a third and half fewer calories... would be to remove the skin, or at least not eat it.  I do love the skin.  But between more and fattier?  I'd... take more.  Doing my best.  As well, I could use some of the skinless meat in a salad... stretch one, add something better to the other.

I think I do have four hens.  Very odd.  Their growth was so variable.  The drakes grew quickly, but a few of the hens sporadically grew quickly, then slowly.  I... I think so.  Oh, and my trick, of putting food and water near the hutch, is making life easier on the broody hen.  She all but thanked me for the change.  If she yelled at me for peaking in.  Women!

Well, on to a nap.  Later.

Food thoughts.

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I wanted to try a smash burger tonight.  I also wanted to try a keto bun.  So I did.  I had to do some washing, and a bit of cast iron conditioning.  The skillet and the placket.  The water draining from last night, and having a duckling stuck out, refusing to go in, with both myself and a mothering hen trying to get her in, many times, left me... well... drained, in every way.  So, just the two pieces and a steel spatula were cleaned.

I did season the cast, several times.  Not a fresh seasoning, merely a refreshening, if twice.  Trying to build a better base.  Either the burgers... sliders is what we used to call what I made... were too large, or the skillet was too small.  I can easily make smaller burgers, as this was large even for my thinking.

Smashed very thin, allowed to crust, flipped and allowed to crust, cheese put on one, the other flipped on top, then both flipped again.  Onion slices, condiments, and that keto bun.  I bet the patties could be half cooked in advance... say a few days.  Then heated to cook the raw side, cheesed, flipped after the cheese is melted, and quickly set out on whatever, a bun, keto bun, or lettuce wrap.

The keto bun I tried... I had to revise the recipe on the fly.  Even I know when something is far too thin.  It might have set, eventually, but as an egg loaf, not an almond flour bread.  I had to quadruple the almond flour.  But... that worked.  The bun was too crumbly, if that was a monster double slider with a giant's fistful of cheese smack in the middle.  I am not certain any bun would have done well, perhaps a kaiser?

As well, it tasted more like cornbread?  Okay, not tasted, but the texture was definitely that of cornbread... rather soft cornbread.  No complaint, just notes.  With a few tricks, this will easily be fashioned into a keto cornbread.  Hamburger bun?  I have my doubts.  It may require coconut flour, and or oat fiber (or some such), maybe phylum husk... something somethings.

I then tried a grilled cheese with the last two slices.  It... missed.  Not a terrible thing.  Just... not there, not right, yet easily edible.  It filled the hunger inoffensively, if just.  Everything I did tonight has promise.  Everything will need tweaked, changed as to ingredients, size, and or purpose, but it is a start.

Further, after a bit more research, against my paranoia, I decided to obtain a food logger app.  Actually I grabbed two.  I then decided to activate a specific one, but remembered...  Oh, I didn't tell you.  My bank overcharged a check, thankfully not to overdraft status... this time... but still... AND cancelled my debit card.  They, when I called, they had not informed me in any way before cancelling, told me why.  It seems they suddenly found my card number up for sale on the black market.  Anyway, so no activation until that works.

I really can't be sure if that is an employee at the bank, or the upper echelon at the bank stomping on peons.  Some of it is certainly bank level.  I am more suspicious of the upper echelon, as an employee would eventually... quickly... be caught... unless it's private policy and that employee had cover from above.  Think Romney.  Too many incidents, too often, over four or five months now.  But the credit card might be youtube.  I signed up for a free month...

I was dubious.  They are monstrously woke.  Still...  Things seemed okay.  But then I noted they weren't allowing refresh.  No new songs.  So I searched for an older song I liked, by a white European group.  The search turned up nothing but darkies, having nothing to do with the search.  It took a bit, deciding what to do, figuring out how to do it, then doing it.  That, if I had to bet, was the debit card problem.

I quit.  No reason telling them why, they know.  I guess they neither need nor want paying customers.  I doubt if their bosses care.  Paid to spit out propaganda by state level actors, even if the little antifas and bl(don't)m thugs aren't told.  Useful idiots of the deepstate US government.  All, actually, are on the same side, mind you.  It's just that none of them like it.

Ill news.

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While napping, a call.  Neighbor son number three, letting me know one of my ducks was dead.  I... had a strange feeling earlier, woke me.  Wanted to check the ducks.  Couldn't fully wake to do so.  Even now knowing, I just wanted to go back to sleep.  If one was down, I suspected all would be down.

I couldn't sleep.  But I couldn't get going quickly either.  I was still tired.  I didn't want to see the one.  I didn't want to see them all, if dead.  Still, and in any case, I actually moved as quickly as possible toward the inevitable.  It took an hour, two?  Oddly, given all, that was quite fast.  I don't handle death well.

It was one of the hens.  She looked to have been run over while fleeing.  There were no marks, or feathers.  She sure looked to have been chased.  I went looking for the others.  If it had just been a natural thing... but no.  I found them hiding in the hutch.  I will have to finish their enclosure, eventually working on a covering.  As well, younglings next spring, possibly to include geese, a few for defense.

It is a relief to not have lost them all.  I will bury this one soon.

Oh, bp is 150/110 pulse 71 and blood sugar, which had dropped further on it's own to 119 right before the nap, has climbed to 241?  Crazy.  Doing what I can.  Later.

Must have dozed off.

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I don't know when.  No clue.  Not sure when I woke.  Ducks and cats have been fed and watered, teeth brushed, and fresh tea set.  But, depending on how fast or slow I am going, that all can take five minutes or an hour.  Yeah, I can go that slow.  I have no scale of time currently.  I need sunshine to... break from darkness induced spring doldrums.

I woke in glorious pain.  I had to push through it to function.  I might have screamed in agony a few times, but that would merely have exacerbated the headache.  Besides, even when extreme pain catches me off guard, I have learned suffering in absolute silence is usually best.  Rarely will those who come running be there to help.  It has all mostly passed, if a handful of aspirin along with evening medicine was gulped.

Surprisingly, I have been keeping on medication in an exemplary fashion, even through massive harsh irregular uncontrollable shifts in my sleep patterns.  Same with brushing and the critters.  Keeping up with the cats, their needs and some wants, was my first real steps out of my grave.  That is what cemented my theory that life is only truly understood through service... service to others.

With only barely a breath of a breeze of life which should be a gale it was a test, serving the girls, leaving enough to handle my basic needs.  I have almost come back to life.  With the ducks, I now have... get?... to face the elements.  I have more to do as well.  Life, success, health, what of it can be known, only derives from service.  The more pure, the higher the quality of those things created.

Christ said these things.  And I learned them, philosophically.  It wasn't until I was crippled below the civil poverty line, and have had to learn to even walk, talk, listen, hear, even see again, then try to go from there, that I have learned the physical application of that truth.

It is what is missing, often, in this world.  So many attempt to steal these things, simply becoming bankrupt by choking on me'ism.  The sad thing is, if you choose to serve simply, truly, purely, even for a cripple living enormously humbly, life is quite good.  Only a right wife could improve it, if she walks the same truth... if in the feminine way.  Love.  That.  Walk.  ; p

Oh, an auto may be in.  Right price, stick, age, with remaining factory warranty?  Mileage?  I'll be in to see it soon.  It's a Chevy, which does cause concern.  I'll... look at the specs and all.  It may do.  Or not.  It is cause for excitement.  Cautious excitement.  We will see.

Oh, I do chatter.  Good day and later.

Awake too late again.

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It was about 22:30, give or take an half hour... actually only maybe more, definitely not before?  Probably.  I wrestled with the alarms again this morning, without causing pain.  I was awake at 7:00, this time definitely give or take a quarter.  Teeth are brushed, a bit of web browsing and music as I plot a course for the day.

It is, again, dark, cold, and wet.  A shower, a shave, some calls, ducks and girls first?  I don't know.  If I could do more work, I might sleep at a preferred time.  The goal is to wake at 3:00, give or take, but by half past.  I think I am close to being able to do that?  If I can do that I can begin trying to make the world my oyster.  Seriously.  If I can do that, best to get out of my way.

I keep trying to find the perfect medicine dispenser.  I found one I think will hold all of my meds and supplements (mostly just regular and trace vitamins and minerals at this point) for a month.  Plastic, will fail, but duct tape, judiciously applied, will probably keep it in action for years.  The one I am using now fails every four to six months.  If I like it, I will order three more.  One to have in slide alternating service, the other for spares.

Same work plan today as yesterday.  I may also see about adding chicken fencing to the big square fencing along the western and northern areas of what will be the duck yard.  I may put emergency shelters on both the south and north side, covering them with tarp.  Then train them how to tuck away through pocket doors.  Won't keep a skunk or raccoon out, but the perimeter fencing should.  As well, those creatures are nocturnal.  Their outside yard is only for parts of the day.

I best finish waking and then get going.  Later.

Bon mot?

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As it turns out, not what I thought.  Two words, spoken, as I woke yesterday.  I couldn't remember their meaning, near or far.  Good word, literally, from French... funny intelligent phrase, after being stolen into American English at least.  I had wondered if it meant good death.  That would have been bon mort, perhaps... not sure if good death is a philosophy keen in the West, European or American... or yet... again?  Then again maybe that is what was said.  It wasn't my tongue, and my ear is lousy for French these days.  I do wonder.

Why?  It seems an odd term to blurt on such a day.  It, either way, got me thinking about death.  I just thought it would be mine, or more a runin with it.  Dunno.

Three meals the last three days.  Bad foods, but something.  Blood sugar is 226, bp is 153/110, pulse 83 (before morning meds, I'll recheck in an hour).  Not great, but I had to have calories and have no other reasonable option.  One more day, two actually as the meat will be frozen tomorrow and will take a day to thaw, then I will be back to right food.

And bone broth.  I ordered beef bones, and froze the chicken backs etc from the butchering.  A short boil clean of the beef bones, baking all bones for an half hour to hour, then overnight in the hot tub.  Yeah, it is super to have true good broth (it is stock if you add veggies).  After pricing broth... making my own is seriously worth it.  Mostly spared for fasting days, though good for bolstering intermittent fasting and adding nearly pure good fats by combining with cream.  Plus, a natural way to replace what the waterpill dumps in way of minerals.

I'll check on my feathered friends in a bit.  I'll be keeping healthy(er) in the pen, which means water now.  I will also be putting water and food near the wounded, should they be alive.  I'll check on them all through the day, all the living.  I wish there was more I could  do.  As is I'll be doing good to get food and pay bills.

I did get a letter written, for social security.  I think one form has been completed, with a backup copy.  It may be too late, but...

More laundry, food, a shower, the ducks and cats, plus trash out today.  I'll try.  A bit of tea, then hot fatted tea, gaming... to wake... then to my fowl friends, in whatever state they may be.  I'd love to bury the ones who die, don't think the ground will yield.  Freeze until spring?  It's their home.

Later.
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Much better.

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The good part is that pain and fever are mostly gone.  The bad part is what remains is a starved husk without the strength to eat.  I'll try tonight.  Awake a bit later than preferred, to get the ducks in, but not too late.  With the water still relatively fresh, I dumped some, thought about taking it in.  Didn't think I could tow that much in my state.  Nor could I dump it all, wrestle it in empty, then wrestle the hose out and back after refilling.

Thought to dump more, then tow that in, but realized it wasn't possible, tonight.  Perhaps in a couple days.  If I can't handle leftovers, perhaps fast food.  It's mostly junk, but sometimes a starving body just needs raw calories.  The last time I ate I was only able to eat just a bit more than a single chicken drumstick, heated three.  Before that?  I think I mentioned it, or cooking it, the bacon wrapped drummies and pork roast.

Sleep was very good.  After being awake for thirteen to sixteen hours for the first time in nearly as long (?) since I ate (every variable is in some doubt due to the fever), I wasn't sure how waking, sleeping itself, would go, end.  No pain, if a little achy from hunger... not true hunger pains, more pains from a body trying to reserve succor from a body with nothing to offer.  Stupid thing is, in this starving state, I'm still not in keto and diabetes is high.  Bastards.

I'll keep at it.  But food, for the next few days, is vital.  As well as medicine.  Although, it seems, after some issues, when I have medicine, even if it breaks my balls, I do take them.  Better to have chipped brass hang-lows for a bit than a bp of 215/180 and a pulse of 140.  No future in that.  Not that I have a future, I have given my soul over to tending this broken duck of a life.  So be it.