Into a new day.

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I woke... a while, several hours, ago.  Fasting blood sugar was 230.  I was hungry, so took it right away, so as to get started with food.  As I was eating, I realized someone was here.  He was here earlier, removed branches.  Just visiting this time.  I finished my meal outdoors and talked.  Then started talking about getting the water going for the lawn.  Why not now?  Well, I had a thousand answers to that question, but, I'm the boss.  Wait...

Anyway, the grass is being watered.  It ended up being a serious chore.  There is a patch which is burning.  Really needed water.  On the good side, between planting new seed, watering better, and mowing, the side and parts of the front yard are filling in very nicely.  I am hoping to water the front enough to manage the dry spot, if that means evening watering.  All good.

I think things are going well.  The extra work will help or kill me.  Working too soon after waking has given me a serious headache.  That and sleeping during the day, as days warm, didn't help.  Still, very good to have the sprinklers up and going.  If I can keep it all going, and green, and expanding, I will be pleased.  I may even get out and mow.  It's a trade for use deal.  Even so, I wouldn't mind doing my own sometimes.

Two bills to pay soon, three.  Then to start up a savings account.  Then to begin scheduling projects, getting bids, checking diy costs while figuring sizes and all.  Bathroom flooring area, roof square footage for a coating, and such.  Could get much done this next year, with the padawan learner.  I'd like to split costs between savings, credit, and spending cash, basing projects on the savings... keeping it above a certain amount.  Pacing.

I am not sure how long it has been since breakfast, some hours.  Blood sugar is 243.  Not bad.  I'd like to find my way to sub-200's, but that will take multiday fasting.

Later.

Seems to be hot.

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It isn't.  I thought it was partly cloudy.  An actual visual dispelled the notion, if there might be a haze?  The temp is only in the mid 60's.  My body is quite warm though.  Part of it is working through too much fluid buildup.  I lost track of meds and have been a seriously thirsty devil for the last four or five days.  Not corelated, timing isn't right.  Probably.  I'm... back to it.

Fasting blood sugar read 271.  I shouldn't have had the second meal, or all of it.  The steak would have been fine, probably.  It was the potato and possibly the asparagus which carbed it up?  Then again, that is my lowest fasting draw.  So, while not great, trending down.  Today will be a meat day, and some milk.

An odd day.

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The barrels were sprayed and brushed out.  That is as good as they will get.  The recycling bin is very good, the trash bin... at least it doesn't stink.  Some things simply won't come out.  I would lay odds the trash barrel was here before the previous owners. It works, it doesn't stink, the outside is presentable, I'll use it as long as I or it remain as is.

A bit of axe tossing too.  I have a log which was rolled into use as a target.  I found throwing knives too.  I think I have more axes somewhere.  It actually wears me out, if not just me.  The neighbor's #3 son also wore out.  He helped with barrels and did some mowing earlier, for a widow?  Then joined in tossing.

Well, and a late dinner.  Steaks, potatoes, peas, and milk.  I later had the last half of peaches with cottage cheese.  Not bad, though I would like the steaks warmer next time.  I had that (1/2" steaks) plus a quart and an half of milk.  I didn't take a blood sugar before dinner.  I did about three hours later.  I was pretty sure, with potato peaches and milk, it was going to be stratospheric.  Sure enough, 207.  Well, actually, that is my second lowest reading since I began testing again.  Hmm?  Crazy!  The lowest meal rise was about 50, though with only two meals to go by, so not a certainty.  Either way, that is an excellent sign.  I am definitely trending lower, and quickly, as I use my new toy and delve into things.  Now to continue that and get bp down.

I guess raw milk doesn't have the kick of store bought.  I have always suspected they added sugar.  Whether to the milk directly, or in the feed?  It isn't lactose, it is sugar, in processed milk.  The peaches, it seems, are also perfectly acceptable.  And that potato didn't gank the sugars?  They have lying about potatoes all this time?  I mean a potato I couldn't enclose in MY fist, I palm half gallon canning jars full of tea, for drinking!  So, later, I had a second steak, and potato.  I'll do a reading in a bit.  The suffering I endure for science!

Yeah, but I am barely dragging myself through.  Responses which are backlogged will be answered by the first available representative.  Later, or good night.

An odd morning.

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Sleep was good.  No need for the fan, temperature wise.  I dreamed, the stories escaped my grasp even before I woke.  A lover, a particular woman who was becoming my everything yet who is scarcely remembered now, was back in my arms, fully remembered.  I just don't remember more.  Gosh I've really liked some women.

I checked the clock just a bit ago. It read 9:30.  I went to bed a bit after 5:30... stayed up to call my mom, being an early riser and with the time shift that is the perfect time to call her.  Anyway, I was feeling well enough to wake.  While I was moving slowly... now that I am up, the clock out here reads 14:10?  Was I that slow or did I sleep through a bit without realizing?  Uhrm, I'll check the alarm clock, see if it is off.  Nope, it reads the same.  Wow.  That wasn't just a second sleep wind, that was a kamikaze second wind (means divine wind, dates to the Mongol hordes(?), and storms which caused two invasion fleets to fail).

Anyway.  I am awake now.  It's cold and dark.  A good day for a murder, a friend used to suggest.  A friend who I wonder more since, if he wouldn't know.  Still, I've never thought of these days as murder days.  These days, as I see it, are for tragic news and funerals for beloved folk.  Still, life is good.  I know the sun will return soon.

Today?  Same list as before.  I did nothing suggested, replacing those chores with shopping duties.  Fair enough.  Being cool and dark, what I did is what was possible.  Hopefully I can do much of the list today.  Pieces and parts, between breaks.  Another shower if I get to most of it.

Mood Music

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They sometimes get to me.

Steak and more.

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The reason to push was to pick up the steaks.  With an already late start, I really had to push.  I didn't damage my face shaving, if the push wasn't a true rush, so I took more time and care.  And I used the trimmer first.  I may shave tomorrow, then try every few days?  Theory, but possible.

I have been brushing my teeth, showering, and attempting to, and in the main succeeding at, keeping up.  With ups and downs, life in the balance has improved quite a measure, bit by bit, in the last few years.  I still suffer, fail, but I do more, better, regularly.  Add in cat litter, much more regular feeding, daily habits, efforts toward a neater house, life, mind, and soul.  It really is the little things.

Up and at it.

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Down after 6:00, up after 14:00.  How much either way?  As much as an hour or two in the morning, an half an hour in the afternoon.  I got up, showered, and shaved first thing.  I was surprised how clean I still was.  That... it's weird.  Yes, you can tell.  Blood sugar first thing.  Not so good.  Still hungry last night, salsa.  At least I know why.  I should just finish the salsa of and be done with it.

Too late for calls, but I can work.  Perhaps pulling the barrels in, getting those going.  Dishes and else on my list.  It is dark again.  While the sun was out yesterday it did not get ver warm.  Later at night it got down to freezing, if not enough for  a frost.  Bedding, sticking with flannel for now.  Have new sheet sets on the way.  Standard cotton, better for warmer weather.  I have some I mean to try for hot weather.

I suppose.  Later.

Blood sugar and dinner.

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I kept from snacking, and ate later, more like a late lunch.  When I tested blood sugar right before eating, it was 226.  Quite a drop from the fasting 331(or so).  In the hour after, it rose to 271.  While that is more of a jump than I'd like, it is a lot less than yesterday.  I plan on two or three more tests, an hour apart for the (or first) two.  If I do another, it will be two hours after the last of the set.  I would like to see if, and when, it returns to close to it's starting reading.

Initially I will just test to understand what I am looking at for the best reading times, to get an idea what my body does, how it works.  Then I will begin basing consumption off that.  Most likely, daily fasting, with all consumption in a six hour window, is superior, as a daily driver for typical consumption.  Weekly to every other week, fasting three days or more if biweekly, will most likely accelerate attainment of goals.  Which long fast works best remains to be seen.

What was for dinner?  Two chicken drumsticks and a thigh, a two ounce container of pistachios in the shells, and tea without additives.  I will be trying various food mixes, including "bad", neutral, and "good", in various doses, if mostly sticking with gooder(tm).  And, as I begin swimming, I'll begin checking that.  As with tobacco, it took three or four times to quit.  I have fixed my diabetes two or three times before, will do so again... if it is still possible.  Don't doubt me, youngling... yes you... I do as I do.  Funny, I think you are starting to see.  Pretty good for one without faith.

Not much today.  I did arrange appointments at the V.A.  New glasses, bifocals this time.  A dental cleaning, perhaps seeing a dentist that day or to be arranged if needed, then primary to see about getting medicine, or some of it, through them... not a change, I'll keep my own doc.  All good.  I have to admit, this was a bit nerve-racking for me.  The latter anyway.  Done.  Now getting on to other things might be easier.  Ah, forgot to pick up steaks today.  With the chill, I was thinking it was Monday.

Oh, but I may have found a shooting partner, maybe two.  Having to sight in a sweet rifle, with solid irons and an exceptional scope draws interest.  Not too soon, but soon enough.  A spotter or two, and switching between shooters.  Yeah.  They know nothing and I am thirty years behind.  All good, it starts or restarts as and when it does.  I've been needing to get out.  Sure miss Kord.  Not just for shooting.  He was a good cuss, though getting me to the range... he had a talent for it.

Later.
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After two hours, no need for further readings.  My blood sugar is down to 233, basically back to the start.  I think that is both a good sign that my diabetes can be controlled and a nod to good food.  Uhm, of course, now I can have my second and last meal for the day.  I believe three small beef ribs, corn, a portion of no sugar added peaches, and tea.  I will take another reading three hours after I finish, or danish.  :p
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Close.  After three hours, blood sugar is at 256.  Not bad.  I suspect the corn, lightly, but the peaches mostly.  For a second, needed by hunger, meal, given what was eaten, I am satisfied.  I think I'll need to cut veggies and fruits a bit, if they aren't all that usual as is.  I can't wait to see if ribeye's can deliver.  If that works, I'll add it as a third of my meals, varying between the sizes.  I am, however, still hungry.  Thank you Oreos.  Reallly, carbing up can cause raging hunger for days, weeks.  The worse the carbs, larger the volume, the worse and longer the desire... if, oddly, it is usually a hunger for meat.  Weird?

On to bed, or very shortly.  Still resisting the dark post.  I weaken, soon.

The sun shines.

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A temporary need.  Without the sun being visible, and warming, I can barely remain awake.  I had turned the furnace lower, then forgot to change that when the cold arrived.  That did me in.  As I mentioned, I have an affinity for the cold.  An unlikely tolerance.  But that tolerance wanes through the winter.  As spring begins teasing with warmth I actually, then, become terribly susceptible to both the cold and dark.  Today is sunny!  I'll have to find something to do out there.

Yesterday morning, before food but after 'liquid splenda' tea, I checked my blood sugar.  With Oreos still being eaten (I am out, done with treats as of later yesterday), the reading was... good.  At 174, for me, with foods lately, very good.  Anyway, that was pre-meal.  I then consumed a third of a pound of roast pork, plus an half cup of salsa and a quart of milk. It took an hour to reach near the top, at 298.  At two hours it was 300.  I didn't measure after that.  Next time I will measure at one, two, and three hours.

I suspect the salsa and milk, mostly.  My current goal is to check fasting several times a day, then one pre and several post meal checks.  Once I have the timing down, then I will begin checking specific foods.  Now that I have a civvy device I can reliably replenish, I can begin ripping and tearing into understanding.  I am not looking for how to ride the line, but how to escape it.  Fasting does work, but only for lower work days.  Low carb, moderate protein, and high fat is good but slow on it's own... if even then, some of it works, some not so much.  The tester will help me see much better.  Fasting this morning, 335.  Thank you Oreos.  I am back to working on it.

A few calls today.  Maybe.  Dental, eyes, and an appoinment.  I... may cancel an appoinment as well.  Ugh.  Oh, some bills, if I'd like to wait to the third, so they don't try to say it was paid last month, they are either becoming terribly corrupted or incompetent, if I suspect the former, especially hiring almost exclusively white-hating minorities.  I am hoping not for locals businesses, but I think they are are all becoming foreign call center services, even here in the states.  And, if you notice and express it, they target you.  If I can get to the calls, I will.  Just woke, not up to talking quite yet, not about business.

Dishes, bedding, laundry, and a few more branches, well, one most likely.  A shower too.  On the list anyway, plus the calls if possible.  Later.

Such a short sleep.

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Down at 5:00 or 6:00?  Somewhere a half an hour to either side, if I think later.  I went in like a crash but sleep was gentle.  The rain, cool, and ease of mind about the barrels.  I know how to soak them, not sure what to use to clean them.  The recycling container simply needs rinsed, mostly.  The trash can needs some serious work.  Perhaps the toilet brush?  Maybe the head of an old shop broom?  I'll figure it out.  I'll let it soak to allow the bleach to work, and neutralize through function, probably several times?  I've never done this before.  Figuring out home life, coming at it as a suitcase life guy, means a lot of figuring, it is a slow process but I am getting there.

Yes, not much sleep.  I woke around 13:00, 14:00, perhaps noon thirty?  On the earlier side I believe.  I haven't gotten to anything yet.  Still raining off and on, cold.  I'll get the barrels in later, might begin a soak, but nothing else with those today.  Dishes, bedding, laundry?  Too late for calls as I begin stirring today.  Ugh.  Lunch and more waking first.  Later.

Yeah? Some.

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I just couldn't keep at it.  I eventually did the dishes that were set.  Washing, rinsing, now set to dry.  Then I remembered trash and recycling!  If I wanted that gone I knew I would have to get going fast.  I wasn't sure how much needed done, but the last time was a heavy business, so I prepared to dig in.

It ended being a light effort.  A few smaller bags which didn't fill a larger bag, but enough to take out.  Recycling was one bag as well.  With what else was out, even if I didn't want the bins empty so as to clean, they were needing set out.  I am almost sure I am on time.

Raining?  Snowing? It is right on the edge.  This late and the heart skips a beat to see how close it is to snow.  It has been a dark day.  Between the return to cool, the darkness, and the front coming through, I suspect that is why so little was done.  Couldn't focus, remember, though I knew there was something.  I got it.

Such a strange and immediate response.

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I won't say it is right or wrong.  There is... it provokes consideration.  More from the sister side of things.  I suspect if my darker views are released even more so.  Sometimes I see more and better from that direction, and they know it easily, which cements the bond, even when I must reject my heart for my head.  Oddly, women understand that best, if they aren't as able to do it.

I lost the toss.

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A nap was taken before work.  To be honest, I think oreos had their revenge.  I dreamed a pretty rough dream, visiting Veteran warehouses.  Terrible.  Overmedicated just to extend life while sapping will.  Debt dollar machines, much akin to people within the Matrix, only nowhere as clean or efficient.  I tried to get some of them to leave... too comfortable.  Asked if even my life hurt, I said of course.  They didn't want any more pain.  I argued that without pain there was no pleasure.  Deaf ears.  Such a horrible dream.

For those who wish that way, but that it not be institutional, Utah has a program where families take them in, and manage care.  At first blush I was rather put off.  On second thought, that has to be better?  Probably.  In either case, they strip the vet of all but $50 a month.  As medicated as they often are, it Wouldn't surprise me if many die with enough for burial.

When I woke, I woke hungry.  Three ribs, heated, were golden.  I have set the dishes to  a fresh soak.  After dinner settles, I'll hit the first batches, do a load or two of trash, then take a break.  Rinse and repeat until done, possibly throwing a shower, shave, bedding change, and laundry in.  I am sure hoping.

Well, and women remain on my mind, in my ways.  The music has been in place for a bit.  Odd how sexual, and yet not, dames are... at least to me.  I would lay odds it is the same for them, in their own ways.  What a terrible, wicked, wonderful life.  I'll... be forced to present if the haunting continues.  Sometimes it's the only way to be rid of it.  Just ask Zeus about Athena innit.

Later.

Awake a bit late.

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Actually, that depends on whether compared to yesterday, the week of morning waking times before it, or if going by when I slept.  In those cases, in order, I would be late as stipulated, very early, or just on time given an eight hour preferred sleep cycle.  All three are true.  People sometimes think I am confused.  Confusing?  Yes, but because I am aware.  It is trying to explain things to people, even when I do it well, that causes problems.  Most people can't focus to hear, or lack simple linguistic or interpretive skills.

Sleep was good, if three hours of ac was required, and the fan all night.  It was 70 F, and not cooling.  Surprisingly that doesn't seem way to warm, just a little to warm to easily fall and stay asleep.  It means warming has been at a measured pace this spring.  I let the girls sleep with me and they were mostly good.

Fasting blood sugars were a bit high.  But... Oreos yesterday.  I know, but... sometimes!  I will have a few more, the rest will be for the neighbor youngens.  Probably.  I only buy one treat item every second or third shopping outing.  In any case, for normal meals I will begin taking before and two after readings (either hour and two hour, or half those, initially, until I figure out what is best).  I'll get back at it, and to fasting and the rest.

I didn't get to anything yesterday evening.  Not surprising as late as the nap ended.  Today I will get the trash and recycling, and as many dishes as possible.  I may need a nap, hopefully not until after much of those things are done.  Then a shower and shave, and perhaps work in the front room or living room, both?

I hope.  If I can stand.  In a bit.  Later.