Friday, July 3, 2026

No, just no.

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She owes $900 over her agreed monthly rent/utilities.  I reduced that by $200, to $700.  She tried to give a check for $700 to cover it all.  No!  I suspected she would try something like this.  NO!  I will no longer order anything through amazon for her, or help her in any way, until she catches up.  I simply can't afford her and my life, fully.  Won't.

I buy her stuff, too.  Like flashlights and bar holders for those, for her walker, little things she requests (not all, just things she wants or needs).  I make sure she has money, if going to a luncheon event.  But I do have limits.

Then, after she is caught up, she will be limited to $50 in any kind of debt a month.  Her memory isn't good, when it isn't convenient.  As mentioned, I have already forgiven around $500 in the last two months, half of that this month already.  NOT going forgive another $550 this month.  Grhhh....  NO!

Have to get new tires this month.  Pay electrical work, if he ever gets back to me, and whenever he starts that.  Plus tankless water heaters, one waiting on electrical work, the other waiting on finding an installer.  On the good side, I have enough credit on my HD card to probably buy both units.  I should check to see if they install. 

A shower and... then... something?  Friday.  Is it?  Later.

Thursday, July 2, 2026

Speaking with the Infinite.

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Some dreams are dreams.  Some dreams seem much much more.  Visions?  I have to believe the latter, not the former.

Hearing God is not understanding God.  Like... hearing in color, or feeling with taste.  Several parsecs beyond even my trained understandings.  Or... misunderstandings?  What I have seen and experienced has led me to a comprehensive accidental enlightment.  Not the so-called modernist version, but the true one.

Even so, all I can do in those... moments... is listen.  See.  Sense.  Realize there is God.  These times used to terrify me.  They still move me beyond expressions I could codify into words.  Like the blind, seeing the sun for the first time?  Only, that, and so much more.

Wednesday, July 1, 2026

Not great.

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On the one hand, life has been very good.  The stitch in the side is much lessened.  The feet cramping only happens a few times a week.  And I have been able to be awake much of the day during daytime even.  But getting to things is a whole other matter.

More crippled than usual.  I'd like to blame mom, she can distract which makes doing my list more difficult.  But that is a minor side additional thing, not the main cause, or one of them.

Monday, June 29, 2026

A few things.

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A bench/storage foot locker mother wanted was assembled.  Much less trouble than anticipated.  Initially it seemed a few parts were missing.  Just parts put where they weren't supposed to go.  Fifteen minutes?  Or so.

As well, the various pork cuts were smoked.  Took quite a while, at least to finish the bigger portions.  The boneless "ribs" and pork chops were done fairly quickly and mostly well.  The chops were a bit dry, but the riblets were very good, fine.