Not great.

.

.

On the one hand, life has been very good.  The stitch in the side is much lessened.  The feet cramping only happens a few times a week.  And I have been able to be awake much of the day during daytime even.  But getting to things is a whole other matter.

More crippled than usual.  I'd like to blame mom, she can distract which makes doing my list more difficult.  But that is a minor side additional thing, not the main cause, or one of them.

Like gaming, which I could blame.  It is addictive.  But, too, it is the only thing offering enough constant feedback in order for me to remain conscious.  The cure is a poison, but sometimes the options are even worse.  Do I really want to sleep the last of my days, even if that is decades?  No!

If gaming is all I can do, I'd rather do that than just sleep.

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My dietary experiment, with resistant starches, is going very well.  Lately, brown rice.  Cooked in a lot of water, 10 to one.  Went well with leftover pork the day before.  Last night I had it, warmed, with butter and soy sauce.  Potato is good as well.  Haven't tried much pasta yet.  When I suggest good, I don't mean tasty.  I mean fasting blood sugar remains solid.  It was 104 this morning.  For me, that is perfect.  It was 106 an hour after that rice bowl last night.  Though usually a cup serving every other day.

I really do suspect my food had been being tampered with, until mother moved in.  Sugar added, else.  My death was... greatly desired.  Still is.  The opportunity cost is just too high?  I figured.  But couldn't do much about it.

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Dreamed I went to church last night.  But, for reasons regarding one of the priests present, I chose to leave before services started.  Mom was there, I let her decide whether to stay or not.  She was deciding as I was leaving.

As I was going out, some man attempted to block my exit.  I suggested that using communist methods to attempt to retain people would go terribly awry, starting with this fellow and immediately.  He let me pass.  I then let him know I would wait to make sure any other who wished to leave could do so without fear.  So, I told him to go take a seat and to not even glance at any wishing to leave.  When he didn't initially comply, I came back at and for him.  He then took a pew and looked straight ahead.  Others did, then, exit.  Yes, even at churches, these days. 

That church was bringing back traditional architecture and trivials, while heading deeper into dei, in some failed attempt to bring traditionalists back.  While breaking trust in the priesthood.  Well, and trying to use force and coersion to manipulate especially the elderly.  NO!

Well... on with my day.