.
.
The visit was interesting today. My lady friend gets things so wrong. I used to think she just remembered things wrong, that perhaps she was confused, or something. Then I came to realize she was merely trying to play head games with me. Now, whether it is a conscious effort or not I may never know. I do, however, have very strong suspicions based on previous debates where her devious nature shines. It does not get me upset, if anything I am surprised when she does not do this for some reason. After first I wondered if, when she was behaving, if she wanted something. But that has never surfaced. When she wants something, she simply asks for it whether she is being screwy or not.
We discussed a number of issues today. And, actually, we talked in depth. I never really mind discussing these things. She usually will not discuss them. She does not understand why I would want to leave this area. She thinks people here are as moral as they are anywhere. She thinks that my sensitivity to having all of my beliefs trashed is a personal problem. And she does not believe any one any where tries to live a moral life, or any more moral or ethical than what can be found right here. I suggested she simply could not understand (and there are reasons for saying that). But she, actually nicely, asked me to explain. So I tried to.
I told her that if I went downtown and told people I was going to pull a baby lamb out of the mother's womb for a tender meal, I would be run out of town on a rail. But if I went downtown and said I had just, and happily, paid for a baby to be pulled out of my girlfriend's womb for no reason than I did not want a child, I would get cheers. Perhaps I might even receive free beers for the occasion. She suggested that it was a one subject problem with me. I suggested that this is just one example of the upside down nature of this city. Every thing that is good, right, subjective, and true is rejected whole cloth by the majority in this town who see no reason to bring morality, ethics, or love into things. It is all a dirty business here. Get what you can, never worry about who you have to, well, even kill to get it.
Her basis for life comes down to what she wants, can get for free, or who she can hit up for whatever. She is a star here, if she hates everyone here, she also loves it here. I suggested this is a group of haters who only collect because they hate conservatives, Christians, patriots, sanity, morality, laws, and such even more. This, I said, is one of many Sodom or Gomorrah type cities. And, I suggested there are places where such sensibilities are not the norm, where immorality and amorality are not only not in charge, but are still considered embarrassing traits.
She still does not understand. As I said in the beginning that she could not.
I was surprised that she did not get all freaky, start yelling, and run out of the house, slamming the door on the way. She always used to do that. I am not sure what was different tonight. Her views, if anything, have become worse. Her belief in the magic negro is as blind as any cult worshiper. She even actually believes he is handsome and that his wife is pretty (she brought that up and I just laughed). But she left, and in pretty good spirits. Perhaps she is just taking names and numbers to be turned over for death camp detainees. It is possible, at least in her mind.
We played several games of Scrabble, I think I got two out of three. Did I mention I hate that game? She plays it frequently, against herself if she must. You would think she would beat me usually, and easily top my high score (somewhere in the low 600's I think). She usually does not win and does not come close to my high score. Still, it is sort of fun. For me it is the company and a few chuckles, sometimes shared, sometimes just mine. Though her frowns at my chuckles are sometimes even better.
We had chicken earlier, and a pizza right before she left. I sent a few pieces home with her. I will see her probably one more time in my life. She will be gone for the next week or so on vacation and will be returning just in time to see me off. Strange, even with our differences saying goodbye is never an easy thing. How is it... Ah yes. Hate the sin, not the sinner. Not even, I suppose, when that seems that all that is there is sin, at times.
I should be able to sleep well. And, she did help pack a few more boxes, to include those two lamps I was not sure how to pack. Good night.
Saturday, June 13, 2009
Company.
.
.
My lady friend will be arriving today rather than tomorrow. She 'works' at an organic farm in order to receive organic foods and because she is a gardener at heart but has no place to practice. It is overcast, however, today. It has been wet, rainy, and chill for the season lately and she has lost her heart to fight the weather while hoping for a better field day tomorrow, so today is the day. I suggested I had fresh roasted chicken, gravy, and she thought she could provide fresh greens and some other things to add to the meal. Such is the hearty feasts which occur when men and women gather? Yes, probably the way it used to be. I am not sure if I will make the enchiladas today, but I might. Oh, and she is picking up a few movies. I have a parting gift for her, and a job offer, so the timing is good. She is picking up a few movies, and I asked for at least on action flick. We should have a good day.
My dreams have been so intense lately. Just the other day I dreamed that I assassinated an army general for betraying my service group. He was involved, as were some congressmen, and some of their senior staff. It involved a train, an armored and locked limousine, an emp blast, and a few unindicted coconspirator (ignorant as well), and some good timing. The other parties to the betrayal were already dead. It was interesting reading the news of their deaths. The one who found himself on the wrong end of a rifle was 'officially' the victim of a heart attach, and all of those I killed ended up dying of 'natural' causes. Who knew that even in dreams the media covers things up. At least I have not been having any of my bad dreams lately. The other dream I had that I can remember I will enumerate later. It is really odd.
Well, I had best get back to real life. She will be arriving soon and I want to flick through my usual blog suspects. There is nothing like the blog world to keep the imagination vivid, if my recent dreams are really just very old reruns. Have a good day.
*poof*
.
My lady friend will be arriving today rather than tomorrow. She 'works' at an organic farm in order to receive organic foods and because she is a gardener at heart but has no place to practice. It is overcast, however, today. It has been wet, rainy, and chill for the season lately and she has lost her heart to fight the weather while hoping for a better field day tomorrow, so today is the day. I suggested I had fresh roasted chicken, gravy, and she thought she could provide fresh greens and some other things to add to the meal. Such is the hearty feasts which occur when men and women gather? Yes, probably the way it used to be. I am not sure if I will make the enchiladas today, but I might. Oh, and she is picking up a few movies. I have a parting gift for her, and a job offer, so the timing is good. She is picking up a few movies, and I asked for at least on action flick. We should have a good day.
My dreams have been so intense lately. Just the other day I dreamed that I assassinated an army general for betraying my service group. He was involved, as were some congressmen, and some of their senior staff. It involved a train, an armored and locked limousine, an emp blast, and a few unindicted coconspirator (ignorant as well), and some good timing. The other parties to the betrayal were already dead. It was interesting reading the news of their deaths. The one who found himself on the wrong end of a rifle was 'officially' the victim of a heart attach, and all of those I killed ended up dying of 'natural' causes. Who knew that even in dreams the media covers things up. At least I have not been having any of my bad dreams lately. The other dream I had that I can remember I will enumerate later. It is really odd.
Well, I had best get back to real life. She will be arriving soon and I want to flick through my usual blog suspects. There is nothing like the blog world to keep the imagination vivid, if my recent dreams are really just very old reruns. Have a good day.
*poof*
Thoughts about wonderings.
.
.
I commented at Vox's several times in memory, regarding classic books and writings, from "The Art of War" to Socrates and many other such things. For my part, I do not see the draw. None of these writings may in any way apply to real life. As entertainment, they are rather simple, perhaps even silly. What I see is that they have been used as a basis for cultural and educational currency, but little else. Which, in it's time, was sufficient for my judgmentalism. But given that Western Civilization has surrendered it's collective classic liberal education having any worth, these basics are no longer of use (barring, perhaps, the military academies and such). Their value is gone, save for a future where they might once again be a basis for a more civilized and (classically) liberal based West (or wherever such a society may again appear, if it ever will). I suppose, dear reader, I am asking you to judge my thoughts. Harsh or kind. I will reply, I will try to be tender since I am, well, just asking for it.
On another topic, there are many guns I would love to have. I think the one gun (though I would prefer a set) that tops my list is the MP-5 chambered in the .45 caliber. The numbers may change for that particular chamber, I cannot remember, but that is the gist of it. Since I will probably never have one, let alone a pair, and assuming I have all other guns on my list (I have 2 rifles, 3 pistols, a shotgun, and some other equipment first), I would get a pair of these. I guess I am just not interested in fancy or too pretty. I like things that reflect myself (or at least how I see myself). Simple, utilitarian, in some ways a little over the top (14+1... whoop!), and yet subdued and quiet. If you could draw a pistol in a crowded area and not be noticed, these would be the ones to do it with (not as in, going on a spree, more as in, drawing without the bank robber, shootist, or other clients or citizens noticing until the bandit goes down).
I have a dark streak, but it is not and never was aimed at the sheeple. I am a wolf in sheep's clothing hunter by nature. I do not actively participate in two-legged-wolf hunting currently. That is due to two reasons. First, I have no authority, technically speaking. I know there is a higher authority, but I find no call from that authority to do that work either. Second, I have chosen to distance myself from the evil that exists. For me to hunt, I would need to engage and to some degree, partake. I have washed my life, my mind, my soul, and perhaps even my memories to the degree possible. Evil would have to come to me for me to be willing to deal with it, at this point. I still cannot quite rid myself of my nature, but I think I will remain a two-legged-wolf-in-sheep's-clothing-hunter in my mind only... for the time being. The bloodlust is potently strong still, but like a junkie who made a clean break and has stayed clean for long enough, it is mostly at bay.
Well, I had really ought to go get some rack time. My sleeping is in disarray, sleeping odd hours, sleeping and walking in short shifts, and having night and day flipped for the most part. But it is what I have. At least I can, for a while, sleep. And, I can, from time to time, be awake and productive. Take what you have and run with it, I have learned. It might not get better.
ZZZZZZZZZZZZZzzzzzzzz *hush... the wabbit is sleeping*
.
I commented at Vox's several times in memory, regarding classic books and writings, from "The Art of War" to Socrates and many other such things. For my part, I do not see the draw. None of these writings may in any way apply to real life. As entertainment, they are rather simple, perhaps even silly. What I see is that they have been used as a basis for cultural and educational currency, but little else. Which, in it's time, was sufficient for my judgmentalism. But given that Western Civilization has surrendered it's collective classic liberal education having any worth, these basics are no longer of use (barring, perhaps, the military academies and such). Their value is gone, save for a future where they might once again be a basis for a more civilized and (classically) liberal based West (or wherever such a society may again appear, if it ever will). I suppose, dear reader, I am asking you to judge my thoughts. Harsh or kind. I will reply, I will try to be tender since I am, well, just asking for it.
On another topic, there are many guns I would love to have. I think the one gun (though I would prefer a set) that tops my list is the MP-5 chambered in the .45 caliber. The numbers may change for that particular chamber, I cannot remember, but that is the gist of it. Since I will probably never have one, let alone a pair, and assuming I have all other guns on my list (I have 2 rifles, 3 pistols, a shotgun, and some other equipment first), I would get a pair of these. I guess I am just not interested in fancy or too pretty. I like things that reflect myself (or at least how I see myself). Simple, utilitarian, in some ways a little over the top (14+1... whoop!), and yet subdued and quiet. If you could draw a pistol in a crowded area and not be noticed, these would be the ones to do it with (not as in, going on a spree, more as in, drawing without the bank robber, shootist, or other clients or citizens noticing until the bandit goes down).
I have a dark streak, but it is not and never was aimed at the sheeple. I am a wolf in sheep's clothing hunter by nature. I do not actively participate in two-legged-wolf hunting currently. That is due to two reasons. First, I have no authority, technically speaking. I know there is a higher authority, but I find no call from that authority to do that work either. Second, I have chosen to distance myself from the evil that exists. For me to hunt, I would need to engage and to some degree, partake. I have washed my life, my mind, my soul, and perhaps even my memories to the degree possible. Evil would have to come to me for me to be willing to deal with it, at this point. I still cannot quite rid myself of my nature, but I think I will remain a two-legged-wolf-in-sheep's-clothing-hunter in my mind only... for the time being. The bloodlust is potently strong still, but like a junkie who made a clean break and has stayed clean for long enough, it is mostly at bay.
Well, I had really ought to go get some rack time. My sleeping is in disarray, sleeping odd hours, sleeping and walking in short shifts, and having night and day flipped for the most part. But it is what I have. At least I can, for a while, sleep. And, I can, from time to time, be awake and productive. Take what you have and run with it, I have learned. It might not get better.
ZZZZZZZZZZZZZzzzzzzzz *hush... the wabbit is sleeping*
Good gravy, really.
.
.
While visiting my mother's home, my 'aunt' showed me how to make enchilada sauce. While she was talking about it, she mentioned something about gravy. I sort of chuckled and said that I had about given up on gravy. She then suggested I pay close attention, more so if I wanted to learn about gravy as well. She then showed me what she did with the enchilada sauce and then suggested how I would do it differently for gravy. And really, there is not that much difference other than for gravy you use the sauce of a meat rather than a vegetable oil. And really, I think one could easily use the meat fats to produce the enchilada sauce if you used a little forethought and had enough meat juice to work with, though I do not know if that is technically or traditionally frowned upon.
As it turns out, she taught me well. I roasted chicken hindquarters tonight. I bought a bag which I thought only had 8 or 9 hindquarters. It ended up that I had about 15 handsomely sized hindquarters. Too many for one, but I have friends and I might make two enchilada casseroles, one with ground beef and one with dark chicken meat! I sure hope I have friends, though I suppose I could freeze. Well, except I will be moving in a matter of weeks. Oh well. In any case, I decided to try and make chicken gravy tonight. And it was, as I have suggested, good gravy! It is not the best gravy I have every had, but it is better than I have ever made by miles. Such a simple thing, after a simple show and tell session, I am almost embarrassed. The only real problem is that the gravy was a bit lumpy, just a bit but it is there. I will have to work with temperature control. I stayed with it and stirred constantly, but it was a bit hot so I didn't have as much time to mash it out as I would have liked.
I cannot wait to try my hand at the enchilada casseroles! I have at least one friend who will most likely take some of it off my hands, and I might actually have two or more. I purchased everything my 'aunt' suggested. And more, I bought green onions to slice for a topping and sour cream. I bet this is going to irritate my lady friend. I finally make a new fantastic dish and then move! Oh, I bet the witch will follow me out, at least once every year or two for a week of good eating, national and state park visits, canoeing or kayaking, and just maybe skiing or something.
I know, I had suggested leaving every one and every thing. But who does not dream of that from time to time. Dogs and our fleas, or is it the other way around? I suppose fleas dream of not having to sleep with the dog for a meal? Yeah, probably. Which has it worse, which is worse really, and why? Questions, and more questions than I can answer. As I have suggested, after a bit of praying and keeping my mind and heart open to God's will, everything has been reset. Stress, fear, anger, politics, family difficulties, and just the nature of things confuse me from time to time. Having a compass and guide, should I remember to use them, is, if a crutch, a great thing. I just suggest if you do not have the crutch of truth, it is like not having the crutch of a compass. Without those things, a walk in the woods could easily lead you to a difficult end. I will stay with my compass, thank you.
I was able to do many smaller tasks this evening. I am not sure how long it will take me to get my days and nights turned back around, but I am sort of trying to figure that out. The meal was actually a gift to myself for doing well. I actually had to cook the chicken as it was thawed, but the gravy was... well, gravy! I think I will be able to get this figured out and be ready maybe even a bit ahead of schedule. My lady friend says she is busy, and she may be. But I may be seeing her Sunday. I have an offer for her, my long term neighbor, or someone else. Money for assistance. After returning the computer, I end up having a lot more financial flexibility. The cash and credit are stacking up and time is drawing short. Even a few hours every other day along with my work. For me, getting some help sorting and then seeing more work done that what I could do alone both go to egging me on.
Well, I need to sleep now. Take care.
.
While visiting my mother's home, my 'aunt' showed me how to make enchilada sauce. While she was talking about it, she mentioned something about gravy. I sort of chuckled and said that I had about given up on gravy. She then suggested I pay close attention, more so if I wanted to learn about gravy as well. She then showed me what she did with the enchilada sauce and then suggested how I would do it differently for gravy. And really, there is not that much difference other than for gravy you use the sauce of a meat rather than a vegetable oil. And really, I think one could easily use the meat fats to produce the enchilada sauce if you used a little forethought and had enough meat juice to work with, though I do not know if that is technically or traditionally frowned upon.
As it turns out, she taught me well. I roasted chicken hindquarters tonight. I bought a bag which I thought only had 8 or 9 hindquarters. It ended up that I had about 15 handsomely sized hindquarters. Too many for one, but I have friends and I might make two enchilada casseroles, one with ground beef and one with dark chicken meat! I sure hope I have friends, though I suppose I could freeze. Well, except I will be moving in a matter of weeks. Oh well. In any case, I decided to try and make chicken gravy tonight. And it was, as I have suggested, good gravy! It is not the best gravy I have every had, but it is better than I have ever made by miles. Such a simple thing, after a simple show and tell session, I am almost embarrassed. The only real problem is that the gravy was a bit lumpy, just a bit but it is there. I will have to work with temperature control. I stayed with it and stirred constantly, but it was a bit hot so I didn't have as much time to mash it out as I would have liked.
I cannot wait to try my hand at the enchilada casseroles! I have at least one friend who will most likely take some of it off my hands, and I might actually have two or more. I purchased everything my 'aunt' suggested. And more, I bought green onions to slice for a topping and sour cream. I bet this is going to irritate my lady friend. I finally make a new fantastic dish and then move! Oh, I bet the witch will follow me out, at least once every year or two for a week of good eating, national and state park visits, canoeing or kayaking, and just maybe skiing or something.
I know, I had suggested leaving every one and every thing. But who does not dream of that from time to time. Dogs and our fleas, or is it the other way around? I suppose fleas dream of not having to sleep with the dog for a meal? Yeah, probably. Which has it worse, which is worse really, and why? Questions, and more questions than I can answer. As I have suggested, after a bit of praying and keeping my mind and heart open to God's will, everything has been reset. Stress, fear, anger, politics, family difficulties, and just the nature of things confuse me from time to time. Having a compass and guide, should I remember to use them, is, if a crutch, a great thing. I just suggest if you do not have the crutch of truth, it is like not having the crutch of a compass. Without those things, a walk in the woods could easily lead you to a difficult end. I will stay with my compass, thank you.
I was able to do many smaller tasks this evening. I am not sure how long it will take me to get my days and nights turned back around, but I am sort of trying to figure that out. The meal was actually a gift to myself for doing well. I actually had to cook the chicken as it was thawed, but the gravy was... well, gravy! I think I will be able to get this figured out and be ready maybe even a bit ahead of schedule. My lady friend says she is busy, and she may be. But I may be seeing her Sunday. I have an offer for her, my long term neighbor, or someone else. Money for assistance. After returning the computer, I end up having a lot more financial flexibility. The cash and credit are stacking up and time is drawing short. Even a few hours every other day along with my work. For me, getting some help sorting and then seeing more work done that what I could do alone both go to egging me on.
Well, I need to sleep now. Take care.
Friday, June 12, 2009
If not perfectly...
.
.
I have started to work. I am doing little jobs here and there. It is slow going as I try to sort both what to do and then all the little things that must be done with each project or area. I am trying to start slowly, as I know I can easily become overwhelmed, especially as working in one area finds me being forced to work in another area in order to the first area correctly. If it stopped there, I think I would be fine, but when it spider webs to a dozen other areas, I can run into real trouble.
Part of the reason I wanted discussion about autism, if I wrapped it around general illness, was because some of what is discussed about autism (also, as one person discussed it, extreme maleness) seems to hit home. I tend to be able to focus on some things extremely well, but when I am required to do too many things, I become dysfunctional to a degree. Too many pans on the stove and things in the oven and I lose all cohesion to the tasks at hand, and in a broader sense, to life in general.
No, I do not think I am autistic. I just see parallels. There are other things that are wrong with me, but there is not just one thing wrong, I think. I have tried to believe there is nothing wrong, and like the paraplegic who uses his arms to lift himself out of his wheel chair and then simply tries to walk, I too collapse in a pile. Since I have little else to do, and medical intervention has not worked, while my mind is still relatively good, I do think about what really is wrong.
Anyway, back to the projects. As I said, I am trying to take it a bit slower, at least for now. However, I am seeing that I can do work. I am seeing progress. And seeing those two may lead me to getting things done on time and well. I still give this over to prayer. I wish I could lay claim to this, but I think prayer both helped me to focus and reset my compass and allowed me to get back on track. Beyond, I am still easily finding time to do whatever else I need to do, such as laundry, cooking and other food preparation, blogging, and cleaning and upkeep.
I think my next goal is to get my days and nights back in order, to go to confession, and to figure out how to get back to church. I need to take control of my life again. I am, once again, becoming excited about the move. As I am seeing progress and beginning to believe I can do this in time on time, I am able to see what lies past the move. It is good. Well, back to work.
.
I have started to work. I am doing little jobs here and there. It is slow going as I try to sort both what to do and then all the little things that must be done with each project or area. I am trying to start slowly, as I know I can easily become overwhelmed, especially as working in one area finds me being forced to work in another area in order to the first area correctly. If it stopped there, I think I would be fine, but when it spider webs to a dozen other areas, I can run into real trouble.
Part of the reason I wanted discussion about autism, if I wrapped it around general illness, was because some of what is discussed about autism (also, as one person discussed it, extreme maleness) seems to hit home. I tend to be able to focus on some things extremely well, but when I am required to do too many things, I become dysfunctional to a degree. Too many pans on the stove and things in the oven and I lose all cohesion to the tasks at hand, and in a broader sense, to life in general.
No, I do not think I am autistic. I just see parallels. There are other things that are wrong with me, but there is not just one thing wrong, I think. I have tried to believe there is nothing wrong, and like the paraplegic who uses his arms to lift himself out of his wheel chair and then simply tries to walk, I too collapse in a pile. Since I have little else to do, and medical intervention has not worked, while my mind is still relatively good, I do think about what really is wrong.
Anyway, back to the projects. As I said, I am trying to take it a bit slower, at least for now. However, I am seeing that I can do work. I am seeing progress. And seeing those two may lead me to getting things done on time and well. I still give this over to prayer. I wish I could lay claim to this, but I think prayer both helped me to focus and reset my compass and allowed me to get back on track. Beyond, I am still easily finding time to do whatever else I need to do, such as laundry, cooking and other food preparation, blogging, and cleaning and upkeep.
I think my next goal is to get my days and nights back in order, to go to confession, and to figure out how to get back to church. I need to take control of my life again. I am, once again, becoming excited about the move. As I am seeing progress and beginning to believe I can do this in time on time, I am able to see what lies past the move. It is good. Well, back to work.
Prayer is quite the tool.
.
.
As some of you may now, I have been having a difficult period. Little is getting done, there are things I just cannot seem to nail down, and I have a feeling of powerlessness. I have, of course, been praying. And, I have been asking Him to take some of the external worries, to show me how to deal with these things as well such as what is happening politically, in the Church, and inter-personally regarding those worries.
I will not say prayer simply fixes everything and I suddenly have no worries, or that I will not need to work, or that I suddenly feel super. I cannot say I will just jump up and it will all work. What I can say is that my mind has been directed to begin focusing my efforts, that I see that doing one thing at a time will get all of the work done, and that I can do these things with a little work and hope, with faith and charity filling in where other things might be weaker.
And more. God seems to have shown me that what I cannot change is simply that, out of my hands. What he has directed me to in those regards is to what I can do. I can pray, of course. I can communicate with those who hold my political and religious beliefs, or similar enough for our mutual ends, in order to change the landscape of politics in the future and in the Church by being present. I see that my refusal to attend Church is a mistake, though I understand some of that is my health limits, and so a bit of rationalization. Though too, I had sort of given up going, resting on my crutches rather than using them when I really could have along with a bit of anger at the large presence of people in the Church who voted for abortion.
That is not the whole of what has come to me, I do not think I could write it all down. But to say I have come to hope would be an understatement. I am more refreshed than the man who has been walking through the desert for several days who chances upon a clean fresh pool of water. Now comes the hard part. Now comes the place where I am involved. Now I must step up and thankfully begin working toward what I must do. And, too, I must give up any bitterness and anger and merely begin working. My childishness must end, to the point I am able to make that happen.
No, this does not mean I will not look and see the problems being created by an overweening government. I will not be putting my head in the sand. What I will be doing, however, is finding means of voicing my displeasure, voting when available, and becoming a part of a Christian and conservative community and helping those communities grow in strength but without becoming so focused on what is going on that I cannot go on and do what I can do.
.
As some of you may now, I have been having a difficult period. Little is getting done, there are things I just cannot seem to nail down, and I have a feeling of powerlessness. I have, of course, been praying. And, I have been asking Him to take some of the external worries, to show me how to deal with these things as well such as what is happening politically, in the Church, and inter-personally regarding those worries.
I will not say prayer simply fixes everything and I suddenly have no worries, or that I will not need to work, or that I suddenly feel super. I cannot say I will just jump up and it will all work. What I can say is that my mind has been directed to begin focusing my efforts, that I see that doing one thing at a time will get all of the work done, and that I can do these things with a little work and hope, with faith and charity filling in where other things might be weaker.
And more. God seems to have shown me that what I cannot change is simply that, out of my hands. What he has directed me to in those regards is to what I can do. I can pray, of course. I can communicate with those who hold my political and religious beliefs, or similar enough for our mutual ends, in order to change the landscape of politics in the future and in the Church by being present. I see that my refusal to attend Church is a mistake, though I understand some of that is my health limits, and so a bit of rationalization. Though too, I had sort of given up going, resting on my crutches rather than using them when I really could have along with a bit of anger at the large presence of people in the Church who voted for abortion.
That is not the whole of what has come to me, I do not think I could write it all down. But to say I have come to hope would be an understatement. I am more refreshed than the man who has been walking through the desert for several days who chances upon a clean fresh pool of water. Now comes the hard part. Now comes the place where I am involved. Now I must step up and thankfully begin working toward what I must do. And, too, I must give up any bitterness and anger and merely begin working. My childishness must end, to the point I am able to make that happen.
No, this does not mean I will not look and see the problems being created by an overweening government. I will not be putting my head in the sand. What I will be doing, however, is finding means of voicing my displeasure, voting when available, and becoming a part of a Christian and conservative community and helping those communities grow in strength but without becoming so focused on what is going on that I cannot go on and do what I can do.
Just curious.
.
.
Has anyone found a source that reasonably tracks the money going out as "stimulus"? Is anyone familiar enough with the government to even know where to start looking? Are the government agencies who are supposed to be checking this able to do so and willing to share the data? Where is the money, how much has been spent, how much is outgoing, and how much is left?
Oh, and when can I haz my chechs? I'll create jobs with a mere $10,000,000,000. I will need, at least, 3 construction crews to build my house(s); 2 maids (French dressed, if not really French, it's a bathing thing); a kitchen crew to include chef, sous chef, and several line chefs along with servers; A butler and a driver/mechanic; and a small fleet of vehicles both air, land, and see and service contracts for those; along with whatever else it would take to 'reduce' my CO2 footprint to that of algorish ranges. Oh, and of course, I would need accounting and investment advisers to make sure none of that goes back to the government in taxes unless I could also get a tax exemption for the principle and earnings. And, never mind about medical. I will have an inhouse hospital, thank you.
Just a thought.
.
Has anyone found a source that reasonably tracks the money going out as "stimulus"? Is anyone familiar enough with the government to even know where to start looking? Are the government agencies who are supposed to be checking this able to do so and willing to share the data? Where is the money, how much has been spent, how much is outgoing, and how much is left?
Oh, and when can I haz my chechs? I'll create jobs with a mere $10,000,000,000. I will need, at least, 3 construction crews to build my house(s); 2 maids (French dressed, if not really French, it's a bathing thing); a kitchen crew to include chef, sous chef, and several line chefs along with servers; A butler and a driver/mechanic; and a small fleet of vehicles both air, land, and see and service contracts for those; along with whatever else it would take to 'reduce' my CO2 footprint to that of algorish ranges. Oh, and of course, I would need accounting and investment advisers to make sure none of that goes back to the government in taxes unless I could also get a tax exemption for the principle and earnings. And, never mind about medical. I will have an inhouse hospital, thank you.
Just a thought.
Thoughts on illness.
.
.
One of the blogs I visit brought up an interesting notion regarding illness. There was some suggestion that a debate about whether or not a particular illness was more of a spectrum or whether the medical community had made a mistake by turning a diagnosis into a spectrum issue rather than keeping it as a set diagnosis. My mind wanders. I posted a comment, as I said, but it did not generate a single response. Perhaps that blog is more for professionals, so my comment might seem childish, uniformed, or not interesting. I understand that. But I would be curious about what others think.
My idea was that, probably, most diagnoses are spectrum based. The worst cases may not allow a very functional life, even with treatment if that is at all available. My situation, for example, leaves me quite crippled at times. Every treatment I have tried has failed, and I have tried sincerely and many regimens. On the other side of the spectrum are people who lead very normal lives, yet have little ticks that are seen as much as who they are more than as illness. I think this is more than reasonable to take as a given rather than debate as a possibility. Only when one crosses some threshold wherein the sufferer becomes unable to effectively live there life, most commonly, is a diagnosis given and treatment(s) considered.
My suggestion, which could be considered off topic(?), was that beyond accepting the spectrum theory, another theory could also come into play. A persons actions or environment could adjust their place on the spectrum drastically. The disease specifically being discussed was autism. Much of that, given the rest of the discussion and given thought seed, brought to mind 'geek genes' as I called them.
What I noted in engineering school was that those who did extremely well (not all but many), whether they started out that way or not, became more geekish. People scoring A's, and even B's sometimes, as a regular thing tended to become very focused, they seemed to become non-social (rather than anti-social), and they began having little personality ticks that become more noticeable over time. There were other things that brought autism to mind, when I saw it generally outlined at the blog. And, these traits tended to 'worsen' over time. I even saw a person or two who went over that line and needed to quit school for a bit, perhaps forever, I will never know.
I suppose what I am asking is, can we, by our habits, our forced actions, and other things, deepen our illnesses, perhaps even develop them out of thin air? Even seemingly healthy actions, such as working out, learning, and certain social activities (I tend to talk till the cows come home), can they become party to furthering an illness? My guess is that they can and do contribute or even produce illness.
As a side note, I think one of my problems in school, though perhaps not the only one, was my rejection of the changes necessary to make it in school, and the stresses that brought with it. That and my general rejection in the absolute belief that absolutely nothing should be believed in except what was being taught both on and off topic, allowing for an indoctrination into what I consider amorality and immorality, along with the stresses that brought. It was too much weight to have to lift, fighting to do well in tough classes while at least feeling the need to fight off an assault on all I believe and hold dear outside of academics. Talk about a beat down.
Just curious.
.
One of the blogs I visit brought up an interesting notion regarding illness. There was some suggestion that a debate about whether or not a particular illness was more of a spectrum or whether the medical community had made a mistake by turning a diagnosis into a spectrum issue rather than keeping it as a set diagnosis. My mind wanders. I posted a comment, as I said, but it did not generate a single response. Perhaps that blog is more for professionals, so my comment might seem childish, uniformed, or not interesting. I understand that. But I would be curious about what others think.
My idea was that, probably, most diagnoses are spectrum based. The worst cases may not allow a very functional life, even with treatment if that is at all available. My situation, for example, leaves me quite crippled at times. Every treatment I have tried has failed, and I have tried sincerely and many regimens. On the other side of the spectrum are people who lead very normal lives, yet have little ticks that are seen as much as who they are more than as illness. I think this is more than reasonable to take as a given rather than debate as a possibility. Only when one crosses some threshold wherein the sufferer becomes unable to effectively live there life, most commonly, is a diagnosis given and treatment(s) considered.
My suggestion, which could be considered off topic(?), was that beyond accepting the spectrum theory, another theory could also come into play. A persons actions or environment could adjust their place on the spectrum drastically. The disease specifically being discussed was autism. Much of that, given the rest of the discussion and given thought seed, brought to mind 'geek genes' as I called them.
What I noted in engineering school was that those who did extremely well (not all but many), whether they started out that way or not, became more geekish. People scoring A's, and even B's sometimes, as a regular thing tended to become very focused, they seemed to become non-social (rather than anti-social), and they began having little personality ticks that become more noticeable over time. There were other things that brought autism to mind, when I saw it generally outlined at the blog. And, these traits tended to 'worsen' over time. I even saw a person or two who went over that line and needed to quit school for a bit, perhaps forever, I will never know.
I suppose what I am asking is, can we, by our habits, our forced actions, and other things, deepen our illnesses, perhaps even develop them out of thin air? Even seemingly healthy actions, such as working out, learning, and certain social activities (I tend to talk till the cows come home), can they become party to furthering an illness? My guess is that they can and do contribute or even produce illness.
As a side note, I think one of my problems in school, though perhaps not the only one, was my rejection of the changes necessary to make it in school, and the stresses that brought with it. That and my general rejection in the absolute belief that absolutely nothing should be believed in except what was being taught both on and off topic, allowing for an indoctrination into what I consider amorality and immorality, along with the stresses that brought. It was too much weight to have to lift, fighting to do well in tough classes while at least feeling the need to fight off an assault on all I believe and hold dear outside of academics. Talk about a beat down.
Just curious.
A better day.
.
.
I have been trying to get everything back in order, by my days and nights are slipping out of form, days becoming nights and visa versa. My weakness has continued as well. I have decided to risk drinking sugary caffeine drinks to try and help with that. It sometimes works in shorter durations, especially if I have (and I have) been eschewing the use of those drugs. I have been doing what I can with apartments, but much of it is by mail and one email needs to be printed. My neighbor might again let me use his printer, but it is a matter of being awake when he is and finding him at home. His wife is home more often, but I sort of stand on the principle that a man should not visit another man's wife while he is not at home. It saves all of us even the risk of impropriety.
I will have to see if the sugar and caffeine help tomorrow. I really need to begin packing again. I have been nearly literally crippled for quite some time now. It is quite frustrating. I had wondered if fear of money was being a problem, but there is no such difficulty. I could probably come up with enough money for 4 or 5 moves of my size, if some of it would be debt. Though not having a sure place to move is a bit spooky, especially at this point. There are only, really, two places who are serious as I see it now. Being that I will be sending through the mail, that makes acceptance a tight thing.
I have been trying to update my blog, adding active and interested conservative and libertarian bloggers to my list. I see some bright new people who share my concerns, doubts about the government, and true outrage at the scuttling of the American dream and all that it is based upon. I know we have some differences about how we would fix things, but we have to stop the ongoing juggernaut first. That will take all of us. IF, we can stop it, and then turn it around, THEN we can debate how to go forward (backward). Right now, we must group and attack together. We will lose everything if we do not. We may lose everything anyway (though, how can free men really lose, I am talking about losing within laws, whether those laws are truly legal, moral, or ethical is another issue).
We really do need to begin grouping, and sorting. Finding a leadership we can all follow, who will truly lead us, and who we can trust to speak and act for us. Then we have to put our minor differences and back this man. I have some limits. I am not interested in backing a woman. Quotas and feminism needs to put down. I am not interested in a minority, whether racial or gay. And I will not support a marginal conservative, if I will overlook a few flaws simply because there are none without flaws. Those flaws cannot include major differences on traditional conservative planks, or even be weak in those areas. That is just me, but I think it is the right combination for a win. And, it cannot be just the presidential candidate, it needs to be senators and house members, at the federal, state, and local levels. It is looking like we may actually need a new party. I think the Republican party has strayed farther than to be salvageable. I may be wrong. For me to even reconsider, however, heads will have to roll. Starting with nearly the complete top tier of the party, and selectively working downward.
Just do it. Get er' done. Whatever makes it work.
.
I have been trying to get everything back in order, by my days and nights are slipping out of form, days becoming nights and visa versa. My weakness has continued as well. I have decided to risk drinking sugary caffeine drinks to try and help with that. It sometimes works in shorter durations, especially if I have (and I have) been eschewing the use of those drugs. I have been doing what I can with apartments, but much of it is by mail and one email needs to be printed. My neighbor might again let me use his printer, but it is a matter of being awake when he is and finding him at home. His wife is home more often, but I sort of stand on the principle that a man should not visit another man's wife while he is not at home. It saves all of us even the risk of impropriety.
I will have to see if the sugar and caffeine help tomorrow. I really need to begin packing again. I have been nearly literally crippled for quite some time now. It is quite frustrating. I had wondered if fear of money was being a problem, but there is no such difficulty. I could probably come up with enough money for 4 or 5 moves of my size, if some of it would be debt. Though not having a sure place to move is a bit spooky, especially at this point. There are only, really, two places who are serious as I see it now. Being that I will be sending through the mail, that makes acceptance a tight thing.
I have been trying to update my blog, adding active and interested conservative and libertarian bloggers to my list. I see some bright new people who share my concerns, doubts about the government, and true outrage at the scuttling of the American dream and all that it is based upon. I know we have some differences about how we would fix things, but we have to stop the ongoing juggernaut first. That will take all of us. IF, we can stop it, and then turn it around, THEN we can debate how to go forward (backward). Right now, we must group and attack together. We will lose everything if we do not. We may lose everything anyway (though, how can free men really lose, I am talking about losing within laws, whether those laws are truly legal, moral, or ethical is another issue).
We really do need to begin grouping, and sorting. Finding a leadership we can all follow, who will truly lead us, and who we can trust to speak and act for us. Then we have to put our minor differences and back this man. I have some limits. I am not interested in backing a woman. Quotas and feminism needs to put down. I am not interested in a minority, whether racial or gay. And I will not support a marginal conservative, if I will overlook a few flaws simply because there are none without flaws. Those flaws cannot include major differences on traditional conservative planks, or even be weak in those areas. That is just me, but I think it is the right combination for a win. And, it cannot be just the presidential candidate, it needs to be senators and house members, at the federal, state, and local levels. It is looking like we may actually need a new party. I think the Republican party has strayed farther than to be salvageable. I may be wrong. For me to even reconsider, however, heads will have to roll. Starting with nearly the complete top tier of the party, and selectively working downward.
Just do it. Get er' done. Whatever makes it work.
Thursday, June 11, 2009
While I decide.
.
.
I have been visiting some excellent blogs recently. Some of the new ones have made the cut, some old blogs have gone away. I think I became not so welcome and so I have let some pass. It is never a happy thing, but sometimes blog relationships end. Perhaps they merely have their sites for Vox friends and family, perhaps my disbelief in Ron Paul was the deal. For my part, they are still friends. I wish them all health and happiness. Many of those added, it seems, are rather libertarian. And yet, they seem open to conservatives. And, we have many similar doubts, fears, and concerns.
I understand I am a bit far afield, politically and religiously. The world has become secularized, nearly completely, right into the Church at times. I know. And politics has become both secular and elitist. I understand. And, though I hold myself apart, I do not do so in such a manner that I will become a crazed troublemaker. I have simply turned my back on much of the ills of the world and the world itself. Though I am armed, I understand that my only real protection is God. I must sleep, so become vulnerable. I am only one. And I am ill, old, and tired. In God's hands I must rely, and do so happily anyway.
So, I will simply walk softly, avoiding what of evil that I may, being kind to all but those who are a literal threat. I wish I could go out and help conquer evil peaceably and that I had brothers and sisters I could depend upon for mutual assistance. But I feel quite alone, at least where I live now. And, I feel overwhelmed by the evil that is around me. It is everywhere, strong, defiant, proud, and quite loud. Perhaps there is a place where it is still considered a shame and held in check a bit by that. Who knows.
I am simply too tired, and perhaps ill, to do more. It is difficult, at times, to even eat. I am going to have to just decide to eat or I will have a difficult move. I am just holding my breath, here, hoping to find a quiet place. So tired, so weak, so old. I just pray I can find a quiet place to, if it is my time, die. Or to find a place to regain my strength to go on and find a way to do what chores my Father has in store for me.
Amen.
.
I have been visiting some excellent blogs recently. Some of the new ones have made the cut, some old blogs have gone away. I think I became not so welcome and so I have let some pass. It is never a happy thing, but sometimes blog relationships end. Perhaps they merely have their sites for Vox friends and family, perhaps my disbelief in Ron Paul was the deal. For my part, they are still friends. I wish them all health and happiness. Many of those added, it seems, are rather libertarian. And yet, they seem open to conservatives. And, we have many similar doubts, fears, and concerns.
I understand I am a bit far afield, politically and religiously. The world has become secularized, nearly completely, right into the Church at times. I know. And politics has become both secular and elitist. I understand. And, though I hold myself apart, I do not do so in such a manner that I will become a crazed troublemaker. I have simply turned my back on much of the ills of the world and the world itself. Though I am armed, I understand that my only real protection is God. I must sleep, so become vulnerable. I am only one. And I am ill, old, and tired. In God's hands I must rely, and do so happily anyway.
So, I will simply walk softly, avoiding what of evil that I may, being kind to all but those who are a literal threat. I wish I could go out and help conquer evil peaceably and that I had brothers and sisters I could depend upon for mutual assistance. But I feel quite alone, at least where I live now. And, I feel overwhelmed by the evil that is around me. It is everywhere, strong, defiant, proud, and quite loud. Perhaps there is a place where it is still considered a shame and held in check a bit by that. Who knows.
I am simply too tired, and perhaps ill, to do more. It is difficult, at times, to even eat. I am going to have to just decide to eat or I will have a difficult move. I am just holding my breath, here, hoping to find a quiet place. So tired, so weak, so old. I just pray I can find a quiet place to, if it is my time, die. Or to find a place to regain my strength to go on and find a way to do what chores my Father has in store for me.
Amen.
Wednesday, June 10, 2009
Thoughts about it all.
.
.
I have not decided yet, but I am considering a break. I am seriously considering leaving everything behind when I move. Not just blogging, but family and friends. I have too much baggage with them. Wherever I go, if they visit or make friends in the area, I tend to end up losing out. Whether it is because of what they say or what they do, I tend to end up in disfavor. While left to my own devices, I tend to lead a respectable small life. Blogging, I think, might have a way of doing a similar thing.
As well, were I had been moving has changed. Though I will still be moving to the mountains, I have chosen another place altogether. Any contacts I now have I will probably surrender. It is difficult to know who is friend and who is foe in these times. Not that the situation is new, only that the risks are greater now. It may be time to simply retire and rest, leaving the world to the horrors about to unfold. There are few ideas, principles, or people I would willing die to keep. Even the Church has become a frighteningly secular space, in some areas.
Should I find myself in good company, perhaps I would fight for that company, push come to shove. Though honestly, I am not in any condition to do more than drive or cook or such. And, as I have said, fighting would only work as a stall in the hopes some group, such as the military or military and police came to their collective senses. A land war would be terrible between civilians and the military and police. It would be an outright slaughter. It would not be covered by the media, or if it was, it would be so slanted as to be totally negative.
Yes, I think I am going to find a nice quiet place to hide. I am not sure of it, but it seems like the right time. I will think and pray until my time comes to move. I feel completely surrounded by evil, and really willful evil. There is not even such a thing as retreat, it is everywhere I have looked. Drugs, socialism, decay, and death. I guess I do not mind dying, I just do not want to be tortured to death at the hands of the very government I once fought for. I am not sure.
Thinking...
.
I have not decided yet, but I am considering a break. I am seriously considering leaving everything behind when I move. Not just blogging, but family and friends. I have too much baggage with them. Wherever I go, if they visit or make friends in the area, I tend to end up losing out. Whether it is because of what they say or what they do, I tend to end up in disfavor. While left to my own devices, I tend to lead a respectable small life. Blogging, I think, might have a way of doing a similar thing.
As well, were I had been moving has changed. Though I will still be moving to the mountains, I have chosen another place altogether. Any contacts I now have I will probably surrender. It is difficult to know who is friend and who is foe in these times. Not that the situation is new, only that the risks are greater now. It may be time to simply retire and rest, leaving the world to the horrors about to unfold. There are few ideas, principles, or people I would willing die to keep. Even the Church has become a frighteningly secular space, in some areas.
Should I find myself in good company, perhaps I would fight for that company, push come to shove. Though honestly, I am not in any condition to do more than drive or cook or such. And, as I have said, fighting would only work as a stall in the hopes some group, such as the military or military and police came to their collective senses. A land war would be terrible between civilians and the military and police. It would be an outright slaughter. It would not be covered by the media, or if it was, it would be so slanted as to be totally negative.
Yes, I think I am going to find a nice quiet place to hide. I am not sure of it, but it seems like the right time. I will think and pray until my time comes to move. I feel completely surrounded by evil, and really willful evil. There is not even such a thing as retreat, it is everywhere I have looked. Drugs, socialism, decay, and death. I guess I do not mind dying, I just do not want to be tortured to death at the hands of the very government I once fought for. I am not sure.
Thinking...
Back...
.
.
The visit was pretty good. I think all of us there, being older and retired now, had a bit of a grumpy edge. My mother likes to try and boss me around to impress her friends or for personal reasons, maybe both. That never works. A please, a thank you, and a good deal of thought in what I am being asked to do (is it reasonable for me to do a task with no tools, for example) and then allowing me to do the task without trying to manage the work. She is a bit of a feminist pig that way. Still, after a few adjustments and some very simple statements mixed with a few words from the other guest and putting my foot down, things shaped up.
Food was fantastic. Steaks one day then enchiladas (real ones, homemade and well made) with green chile and tortillas the next, life was good. My 'aunt' sent home some of the fine enchilada dried pepper mix and showed me how to make the sauce, the rest is pretty easy. As well, we all went and visited my aunt, one with breast cancer. She was a bit nervous about our visit, my mom had not told my aunt that my other 'aunt' and myself would be visiting. My mother only suggested she would be arriving. I just stayed quiet and let them talk, I think my aunt dislikes me for the most part. She is doing very well for the condition she is in, having taken care to find what she could tolerate eating and then even gaining a bit of weight on chemo (she worried about that as much as her hair loss, I think, as she has always been quite slight of stature). We were all so pleased to see her and to see her so upbeat and (as I said, for the condition she is in and what she is going through) healthy.
During the time at my mother's, we had some bad times (though rather muted with company, I think), we also had some good times. All of us took turns on the grumpy wagon, then passing it on. Some of it was due to discomfort and lack of rest being in a new environment, sleeping (or trying to sleep) on beds other than our own, and such. We might have had some great times, though too. I have not seen my 'aunt' in decades. She was a family friend from the time I was adopted. She even shared a duplex for a bit with my mother when they were both married to their first husbands. Her children were close to us as well, from that time on. Oddly, through discussions, I think I understand now and more fully what my problem is with my mother, or more the point the reverse. My mother and my aunt have very different political views, and that had at one time been part of the problem between them. My 'aunt' is conservative, for the most part, and has been a successful part of society. My mother has been addicted to social services and preferred to drink and do whatever she wanted.
Yes, politics, and the lack of good reasoning to back my mother's (and aunt's I believe) political views, added to passive aggression, on top of my mother's already unreasonable feminine dictatorship qualities, lead to great troubles between us. She had suggested she would like to visit for a month or so this winter, when I get moved in. All I can say is that such an occurrence will never happen. Her smoking, her want of heat, her attitude, all combined with the fact that the area I am moving to gets a lot of snow and she could well get snowed in for months would have me cutting off a leg before inviting her to stay that long or in the winter. A week, in the summer, if she agrees (and holds her bargain) to not smoke in my house. That is the best I can do.
I see that, politically, socially, legally, ethically, morally, and in who knows how many other ways the US is falling apart. The news was something they both watched while I visited, so I was forced to see it. I honestly do not think much of this can be fixed even if a decent conservative candidate can be found and presented and then win. Even with a conservative house, senate, and president, with enough power to make changes will not help. When elected, they seem to set on their hands and become more liberal every day they hold office. I have to wonder if there is some poison in the water in D.C. that kills good (conservative) brain cells and at progressive rate.
Nothing seems to be around the corner for a fix, except maybe the end of the world. God did say there would be days like these. In any case, try to enjoy your day, walk well in your personal walk, and remember those you love while not forgetting to prey for those who have lost their way and your enemies.
.
The visit was pretty good. I think all of us there, being older and retired now, had a bit of a grumpy edge. My mother likes to try and boss me around to impress her friends or for personal reasons, maybe both. That never works. A please, a thank you, and a good deal of thought in what I am being asked to do (is it reasonable for me to do a task with no tools, for example) and then allowing me to do the task without trying to manage the work. She is a bit of a feminist pig that way. Still, after a few adjustments and some very simple statements mixed with a few words from the other guest and putting my foot down, things shaped up.
Food was fantastic. Steaks one day then enchiladas (real ones, homemade and well made) with green chile and tortillas the next, life was good. My 'aunt' sent home some of the fine enchilada dried pepper mix and showed me how to make the sauce, the rest is pretty easy. As well, we all went and visited my aunt, one with breast cancer. She was a bit nervous about our visit, my mom had not told my aunt that my other 'aunt' and myself would be visiting. My mother only suggested she would be arriving. I just stayed quiet and let them talk, I think my aunt dislikes me for the most part. She is doing very well for the condition she is in, having taken care to find what she could tolerate eating and then even gaining a bit of weight on chemo (she worried about that as much as her hair loss, I think, as she has always been quite slight of stature). We were all so pleased to see her and to see her so upbeat and (as I said, for the condition she is in and what she is going through) healthy.
During the time at my mother's, we had some bad times (though rather muted with company, I think), we also had some good times. All of us took turns on the grumpy wagon, then passing it on. Some of it was due to discomfort and lack of rest being in a new environment, sleeping (or trying to sleep) on beds other than our own, and such. We might have had some great times, though too. I have not seen my 'aunt' in decades. She was a family friend from the time I was adopted. She even shared a duplex for a bit with my mother when they were both married to their first husbands. Her children were close to us as well, from that time on. Oddly, through discussions, I think I understand now and more fully what my problem is with my mother, or more the point the reverse. My mother and my aunt have very different political views, and that had at one time been part of the problem between them. My 'aunt' is conservative, for the most part, and has been a successful part of society. My mother has been addicted to social services and preferred to drink and do whatever she wanted.
Yes, politics, and the lack of good reasoning to back my mother's (and aunt's I believe) political views, added to passive aggression, on top of my mother's already unreasonable feminine dictatorship qualities, lead to great troubles between us. She had suggested she would like to visit for a month or so this winter, when I get moved in. All I can say is that such an occurrence will never happen. Her smoking, her want of heat, her attitude, all combined with the fact that the area I am moving to gets a lot of snow and she could well get snowed in for months would have me cutting off a leg before inviting her to stay that long or in the winter. A week, in the summer, if she agrees (and holds her bargain) to not smoke in my house. That is the best I can do.
I see that, politically, socially, legally, ethically, morally, and in who knows how many other ways the US is falling apart. The news was something they both watched while I visited, so I was forced to see it. I honestly do not think much of this can be fixed even if a decent conservative candidate can be found and presented and then win. Even with a conservative house, senate, and president, with enough power to make changes will not help. When elected, they seem to set on their hands and become more liberal every day they hold office. I have to wonder if there is some poison in the water in D.C. that kills good (conservative) brain cells and at progressive rate.
Nothing seems to be around the corner for a fix, except maybe the end of the world. God did say there would be days like these. In any case, try to enjoy your day, walk well in your personal walk, and remember those you love while not forgetting to prey for those who have lost their way and your enemies.
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