.
.
Hitting bed at about 3:00 and waking at 11:00 was okay. I had the alarm set for noon, but beat it. I am trying to go to bed just a bit earlier. I seem to be sleeping eight hours, give or take, with a game I like to wake up and play anyway. Therefore, going to bed a few hours earlier might allow me to readjust my day back into the full spectrum of morning and afternoon. I sort of had it there, until the game arrived in the mail.
The girls are absolute pains in the butt some mornings. They bash the bedroom door, knock things over, and such. On the mornings they do that though, they won't get food for a couple of hours. If I hear nothing, nothing seemingly awoke me, I'll feed them right away. Today they got to wait. Every fifteen minutes I yelled out "Hungry!". Heh. Worked every time. Just did it again (though I fed them an half hour ago... still works to get Sassy as worked up as a teen girl might for the boy-bands). Yeah, poppo can be a vile cruel evil non-feeding food-teasing ogre. Hungry!?! Yeah, about that, thanks for the wake-up call.
I am completely out of all tobacco. Yeah, I... need to get to town, soon. I am out of milk. Yep, I need to shop. I have no fresh-frozen meats. I have to go. Ugh. I'll... get there. Probably. Soon. Maybe. How addicted can I possibly be to blow off the addiction like that? Or is that an honest testament to my illness? Never mind, I'll just chew on a chunk of iron while I contemplate. Later.
Saturday, September 22, 2012
Friday, September 21, 2012
Charmed indeed.
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.
Since I am out once in a while, smoking since I am out of other forms of tobacco, I have been watching for wasps near the grill. I saw some there so lit it up again a bit ago. They simply aren't going to abandon their charred home. I decided, rather than to waste more fuel right then, to wait until very early in the morning, probably a bit before I go to bed. At that time it might be cool enough that the wasps cannot move quickly enough to escape. Why do I bring up the notion of being charmed again? Because that is the grill I nearly ended up putting into my SUV, then taking it to the charity event. The notion had been to fire it up and clean it off first, but that doesn't always end up happening. Could you imagine having a bunch of angry wasps attack, either from moving the thing or worse, swarming while I was driving? Wouch.
I am still a bit 'sore' with the girls. I don't know which one thought poppo's tent pole would make a fantastic clawing post, and to a degree it doesn't matter. Still, I never really felt pain, even while engorged which happens plenty too often for someone trying to be chaste, if the blood did block things up and caused a slight burn while urinating for a few days. All good now. I just need to watch for infections. They have never done such a thing so I am not even sure what to think about the notion. Bah, I heal. And unlike animals and women, I don't have to replace my delicates. Hehe. The 'girls' keep away from my unders almost as much as real women do. It's good to be an ogre. Smell that smell? Heh. Then again, I still wear unders when torn, so long as they both still fit well and come completely clean when washed. I didn't even like racing stripes on my sports car, k?
Sardines, tonight, with crackers. Yeah, not my favorite, but I truly needed some protein. And they aren't horrible, either. Sometimes they are even quite good. I buy them packed in olive oil if I can, though that isn't always any better. At some point down the scale of oils, a really bad olive oil can probably be compared to a solid diesel flavor. What I have is pretty good, and I have several brands I am comparing. What I have found is that some are good some of the time, but my tastes as to sardines and brands is very mood related. I don't quite have my moods and flavor profiles down pat enough to pick though, yet. Texture and flavor differ greatly, some are small fish, others slab steaks by comparison. Some are tightly bound, other are rather loose. I really need to get to the store and buy meat. Meat, meat, meat, and just for good measure, more meat! You can keep the carrots, peas, broccoli, and salad. Oh, I like those well enough, I just don't have enough energy to cook those along with meat. I need meat, I don't need those, no matter what you may think or say. I've fed this silly corpse for at least two decades beyond when it should have died. I really must be doing something right.
Charmed, absolutely. But the term "charmed" has so many... connotations. It can be like the term lucky, and along the lines of having a dog with one eye, two and three quarter legs, no tail, and scars from head to tail... named Lucky. Later.
.
Since I am out once in a while, smoking since I am out of other forms of tobacco, I have been watching for wasps near the grill. I saw some there so lit it up again a bit ago. They simply aren't going to abandon their charred home. I decided, rather than to waste more fuel right then, to wait until very early in the morning, probably a bit before I go to bed. At that time it might be cool enough that the wasps cannot move quickly enough to escape. Why do I bring up the notion of being charmed again? Because that is the grill I nearly ended up putting into my SUV, then taking it to the charity event. The notion had been to fire it up and clean it off first, but that doesn't always end up happening. Could you imagine having a bunch of angry wasps attack, either from moving the thing or worse, swarming while I was driving? Wouch.
I am still a bit 'sore' with the girls. I don't know which one thought poppo's tent pole would make a fantastic clawing post, and to a degree it doesn't matter. Still, I never really felt pain, even while engorged which happens plenty too often for someone trying to be chaste, if the blood did block things up and caused a slight burn while urinating for a few days. All good now. I just need to watch for infections. They have never done such a thing so I am not even sure what to think about the notion. Bah, I heal. And unlike animals and women, I don't have to replace my delicates. Hehe. The 'girls' keep away from my unders almost as much as real women do. It's good to be an ogre. Smell that smell? Heh. Then again, I still wear unders when torn, so long as they both still fit well and come completely clean when washed. I didn't even like racing stripes on my sports car, k?
Sardines, tonight, with crackers. Yeah, not my favorite, but I truly needed some protein. And they aren't horrible, either. Sometimes they are even quite good. I buy them packed in olive oil if I can, though that isn't always any better. At some point down the scale of oils, a really bad olive oil can probably be compared to a solid diesel flavor. What I have is pretty good, and I have several brands I am comparing. What I have found is that some are good some of the time, but my tastes as to sardines and brands is very mood related. I don't quite have my moods and flavor profiles down pat enough to pick though, yet. Texture and flavor differ greatly, some are small fish, others slab steaks by comparison. Some are tightly bound, other are rather loose. I really need to get to the store and buy meat. Meat, meat, meat, and just for good measure, more meat! You can keep the carrots, peas, broccoli, and salad. Oh, I like those well enough, I just don't have enough energy to cook those along with meat. I need meat, I don't need those, no matter what you may think or say. I've fed this silly corpse for at least two decades beyond when it should have died. I really must be doing something right.
Charmed, absolutely. But the term "charmed" has so many... connotations. It can be like the term lucky, and along the lines of having a dog with one eye, two and three quarter legs, no tail, and scars from head to tail... named Lucky. Later.
A dying aunt, cat weirdness, paranoia, and a phone call.
.
.
Way too fast this morning. I think it was morning when I woke? I didn't get to bed until 5:00, closer to 6:00 I think. Waking right on the edge of noon, the morning edge though. A little rough, a bit grumpy, and perhaps with the webs of the dream world and recent events swirling around in the charged atmosphere of the conscious and unconscious mind storm vying for dominance, this morning was already interesting, as Spock might have suggested.
I turn the sound off on my phone at night. I found that just turning the phone off meant nothing, as sometimes it would simply turn itself back on and make it's various weird noises, beeps, or send calls through regardless. Turning the sound off works best. I checked it first thing. My mother called earlier this morning so I called her right back. Of course, being in the state of mind mentioned above, she got... everything... in a more raw form. And, she was corrected.
It seems one of my primary aunts has stage IV cancer. It is everywhere. It somewhat surprises me, she has always been a hypochondriac. It seems that they finally stopped checking out her grievances to the end that when she did become ill they did not investigate until too many verifiable symptoms existed. She was told, so I have heard, that she has six months to two years to live. Of course, I told my mother that time-stamps by doctors are somewhere between a statistical thing and a fools gift. Much like the bell curve, if you have even an IQ of 150 you are so unlikely as to be a negligible being. Even getting accepted to nuke school in the Navy made people... anomalous. But... there you are. I just told my mother I would pray for her and my uncle. Through good and bad, they are family. Even if they weren't though, prayer is all I can offer.
Having been enervated by questions about my health the other day I was... worrying about things. I discussed my notions with my mother, who suggested that paranoia was a part of my illness. Oh, no, it is not mother. Heart problems do not cause paranoia. Further, I am not actually paranoid. I am merely more cautious than most, and for good reason. I took here back just through the part of the development of my senses in the part of my life to which she could attest. I think... she understood. I am merely on the rather cautious side. With very good reason. I have been alone and unwilling to simply abide the way of things. I drew lines in the sand and absolutely would not budge, and still don't. Typical men fear that, and... women love that, so long as they feel safe with me personally (if their trust is not a good measure, it just happens to be correct in my case). And I learned how to do that, successfully.
Anyway, I was worrying if I would suddenly get sick or start showing symptoms after the discussion about my health. So, what happens a day or two after that discussion? Blood in the urine! It was just the first few drops, which were nearly pure blood! The rest of it, however, was clear. Hrm? Since then it has been like that, if tapering off. I did some research online, but it turned out absolutely useless. Why? Because, the blood wasn't from the inside. While washing, I noticed something odd. My 'johny' was scratched up a bit. Hum? Yes, it had a number of cuts on it... scratches... through the skin. Oh, yes, poppo is a little put out with the girls. I have no idea which one did it. Most likely it was attempt to wake me up for food though by attacking my 'tool' while it was in piss hard-on mode, pre-waking. Though, girl cats are weird. I think, if they want attentions, they will attack then "surrender", if the male is otherwise not being attentive. Women really... well... they aren't their own in some ways. But, yeah, that is what the blood was. I live the most 'charmed' life, have the weirdest damn things happen. As my avatar's namesake might say... I'm just lucky that way.
All of my discussions and new information on top of an already fairly eclectic group of waking brain storms and life events of recent have combined into some seemingly simply wondhorrifterriboddgood day for me, or... something. It certainly isn't boring this morning... well, afternoon now. I guess you don't always have to step outside to step in it.
Ah! I found out where the wasps were coming from. Not a lot, just a steady flow of them. I have been looking but not finding. Anyway, while outside prepping the grill, I was looking around. Always do, but that hasn't been enough to find the wasp nest(s). So, I tried to light the grill for the first time this summer, and it wasn't having any of that at first. A little this, a little that, and... *woof* No, I was careful. I've... blown the thing a bit once or twice, and I learned. Then? Popcorn? What is that crackle and pop? It was the wasps that weren't fast enough. The ones that were fast enough came buzzing out. Okay, I decided on a quick retreat. I'll let that... cook off for a bit. See, keep with it and you can solve all kinds of problems! Charmed, to be sure.
Good day.
.
Way too fast this morning. I think it was morning when I woke? I didn't get to bed until 5:00, closer to 6:00 I think. Waking right on the edge of noon, the morning edge though. A little rough, a bit grumpy, and perhaps with the webs of the dream world and recent events swirling around in the charged atmosphere of the conscious and unconscious mind storm vying for dominance, this morning was already interesting, as Spock might have suggested.
I turn the sound off on my phone at night. I found that just turning the phone off meant nothing, as sometimes it would simply turn itself back on and make it's various weird noises, beeps, or send calls through regardless. Turning the sound off works best. I checked it first thing. My mother called earlier this morning so I called her right back. Of course, being in the state of mind mentioned above, she got... everything... in a more raw form. And, she was corrected.
It seems one of my primary aunts has stage IV cancer. It is everywhere. It somewhat surprises me, she has always been a hypochondriac. It seems that they finally stopped checking out her grievances to the end that when she did become ill they did not investigate until too many verifiable symptoms existed. She was told, so I have heard, that she has six months to two years to live. Of course, I told my mother that time-stamps by doctors are somewhere between a statistical thing and a fools gift. Much like the bell curve, if you have even an IQ of 150 you are so unlikely as to be a negligible being. Even getting accepted to nuke school in the Navy made people... anomalous. But... there you are. I just told my mother I would pray for her and my uncle. Through good and bad, they are family. Even if they weren't though, prayer is all I can offer.
Having been enervated by questions about my health the other day I was... worrying about things. I discussed my notions with my mother, who suggested that paranoia was a part of my illness. Oh, no, it is not mother. Heart problems do not cause paranoia. Further, I am not actually paranoid. I am merely more cautious than most, and for good reason. I took here back just through the part of the development of my senses in the part of my life to which she could attest. I think... she understood. I am merely on the rather cautious side. With very good reason. I have been alone and unwilling to simply abide the way of things. I drew lines in the sand and absolutely would not budge, and still don't. Typical men fear that, and... women love that, so long as they feel safe with me personally (if their trust is not a good measure, it just happens to be correct in my case). And I learned how to do that, successfully.
Anyway, I was worrying if I would suddenly get sick or start showing symptoms after the discussion about my health. So, what happens a day or two after that discussion? Blood in the urine! It was just the first few drops, which were nearly pure blood! The rest of it, however, was clear. Hrm? Since then it has been like that, if tapering off. I did some research online, but it turned out absolutely useless. Why? Because, the blood wasn't from the inside. While washing, I noticed something odd. My 'johny' was scratched up a bit. Hum? Yes, it had a number of cuts on it... scratches... through the skin. Oh, yes, poppo is a little put out with the girls. I have no idea which one did it. Most likely it was attempt to wake me up for food though by attacking my 'tool' while it was in piss hard-on mode, pre-waking. Though, girl cats are weird. I think, if they want attentions, they will attack then "surrender", if the male is otherwise not being attentive. Women really... well... they aren't their own in some ways. But, yeah, that is what the blood was. I live the most 'charmed' life, have the weirdest damn things happen. As my avatar's namesake might say... I'm just lucky that way.
All of my discussions and new information on top of an already fairly eclectic group of waking brain storms and life events of recent have combined into some seemingly simply wondhorrifterriboddgood day for me, or... something. It certainly isn't boring this morning... well, afternoon now. I guess you don't always have to step outside to step in it.
Ah! I found out where the wasps were coming from. Not a lot, just a steady flow of them. I have been looking but not finding. Anyway, while outside prepping the grill, I was looking around. Always do, but that hasn't been enough to find the wasp nest(s). So, I tried to light the grill for the first time this summer, and it wasn't having any of that at first. A little this, a little that, and... *woof* No, I was careful. I've... blown the thing a bit once or twice, and I learned. Then? Popcorn? What is that crackle and pop? It was the wasps that weren't fast enough. The ones that were fast enough came buzzing out. Okay, I decided on a quick retreat. I'll let that... cook off for a bit. See, keep with it and you can solve all kinds of problems! Charmed, to be sure.
Good day.
Oh, food storage...
.
.
Being that I haven't been out other than Mass once, a KoC meeting, and once for grocery shopping and a visit, in the last three months or so, I haven't been keeping up on my food stores. At least I haven't been using them, either. So, tonight, I fixed that a bit. As I said, I would prefer more of my stores in #10 cans. I have ordered enough black beans for my needs in #10 cans. I still need a variety of other beans, and I would like to get lentils as well, first to try, but more likely to order in even larger amounts than actual beans. Rice after that, would be my guess. While I don't like the notion of white rice, I have tried the whole grain type alternatives. They are simply too... dusty tasting. So, enriched white rice will simply have to do. I also ordered a number of freeze-dried main entrees in #10 cans. That just makes life really easy when I am down or if a lot is required so that I simply can't cook. Boiling water, a container to combine... dinner. As well, I purchased a number of water packets. Sure, I have a (the) top of the line filter, I have a dozen devices in which to store water, there is a river that pretty much passes right through town... Still. And they weren't that expensive. I may, yet this month, order a heirloom seed grouping that is on sale at nearly half price. I could toss it in the freezer, or put the can in the basement. I dunno, thinking about that.
I am seriously considering a month or two supply of MRE's. Now, that means three entrees a day, if only one side dish and one dessert per day. I would probably try to order additional side dishes, as I am considering just eating one MRE whole meal every other day or every third day, as a supplement to what else I do. It is a bit expensive, but... when it is done it is done. No dishes, no pots, no pans, no fuss, no mess. It can be eaten cold or heated up. As well, it is an excellent travel companion, just in case. On the road, off the road, or into the hills. It's even waterproof, if... a little too buoyant for a large underwater carry... urhm, without a trick or three... just saying... :p
I just like the notion of having seed producing crop seed. Just in case the world literally switches from modern to the death trap it has always truly been. Men might be terrible to other men, but the world, when allowed or men forget how to tame/negotiate with her, seems to truly despise men like not even Pol Pot can imagine. She kept men fleeing, dying, hiding, and fearful, nearly destroying men before we could learn to write after we forgot that skill sometime in history. Some say the world does it's thing and deservedly so... and I disagree. If it all fails we will be at her very delicate mercy. How much certainty, or even hope, would a small selection of non-hybrid seed bring? How much certainty, or hope, does a gun bring a man against a overarching government, or even a local gang problem? How much hope does any man have in the fruit of his own seed? That is not for us, we can only... put forth the best effort we have, and the way to do that is to prepare to put that effort forward. The ends are out of our hands. Amazing, really, considering how well most of us truly do live. Never worry, that is coming to a swift and judicious end. Only judicious because... we chose it. Well, our parents chose it and we bought into it. Regardless of the election results, it is at least going to get as bumpy as an international economic and social Katrina hit.
Yeah, on to bed now that I am all cheered up.
.
Being that I haven't been out other than Mass once, a KoC meeting, and once for grocery shopping and a visit, in the last three months or so, I haven't been keeping up on my food stores. At least I haven't been using them, either. So, tonight, I fixed that a bit. As I said, I would prefer more of my stores in #10 cans. I have ordered enough black beans for my needs in #10 cans. I still need a variety of other beans, and I would like to get lentils as well, first to try, but more likely to order in even larger amounts than actual beans. Rice after that, would be my guess. While I don't like the notion of white rice, I have tried the whole grain type alternatives. They are simply too... dusty tasting. So, enriched white rice will simply have to do. I also ordered a number of freeze-dried main entrees in #10 cans. That just makes life really easy when I am down or if a lot is required so that I simply can't cook. Boiling water, a container to combine... dinner. As well, I purchased a number of water packets. Sure, I have a (the) top of the line filter, I have a dozen devices in which to store water, there is a river that pretty much passes right through town... Still. And they weren't that expensive. I may, yet this month, order a heirloom seed grouping that is on sale at nearly half price. I could toss it in the freezer, or put the can in the basement. I dunno, thinking about that.
I am seriously considering a month or two supply of MRE's. Now, that means three entrees a day, if only one side dish and one dessert per day. I would probably try to order additional side dishes, as I am considering just eating one MRE whole meal every other day or every third day, as a supplement to what else I do. It is a bit expensive, but... when it is done it is done. No dishes, no pots, no pans, no fuss, no mess. It can be eaten cold or heated up. As well, it is an excellent travel companion, just in case. On the road, off the road, or into the hills. It's even waterproof, if... a little too buoyant for a large underwater carry... urhm, without a trick or three... just saying... :p
I just like the notion of having seed producing crop seed. Just in case the world literally switches from modern to the death trap it has always truly been. Men might be terrible to other men, but the world, when allowed or men forget how to tame/negotiate with her, seems to truly despise men like not even Pol Pot can imagine. She kept men fleeing, dying, hiding, and fearful, nearly destroying men before we could learn to write after we forgot that skill sometime in history. Some say the world does it's thing and deservedly so... and I disagree. If it all fails we will be at her very delicate mercy. How much certainty, or even hope, would a small selection of non-hybrid seed bring? How much certainty, or hope, does a gun bring a man against a overarching government, or even a local gang problem? How much hope does any man have in the fruit of his own seed? That is not for us, we can only... put forth the best effort we have, and the way to do that is to prepare to put that effort forward. The ends are out of our hands. Amazing, really, considering how well most of us truly do live. Never worry, that is coming to a swift and judicious end. Only judicious because... we chose it. Well, our parents chose it and we bought into it. Regardless of the election results, it is at least going to get as bumpy as an international economic and social Katrina hit.
Yeah, on to bed now that I am all cheered up.
Another day, two more bosses.
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.
It isn't much but it works. The game is going well. There are always little things to work out, and I learn about game mechanics and such all the time. As I said, I don't read the manual. Some manuals are horrible though, anyway. Some, many, do not actually tell you how to use devices, mechanics, or weapons. Some don't even include those things. Tonight I figured out how to save, quite by accident actually. Okay, so that is probably in the manual, if not all of them.
I think I am going back to feeding myself at the end of this month. It has been good to have food coming in but I need to do that myself from now on. I will speak with the man whose family has been heading that up this Sunday. While it probably will hurt a little financially, it is also probably a bit of a relief. It was one more thing he had to do in an already hectic personal, professional, social, and religious life.
Shoulder holster are wonderful things. While I am in my pj's, I can holster the pistol without losing my bottoms. I ran out of chew so... at 0 dark thirty I am out smoking once in a while. The scream of that mountain lion, the surprise and close nature of it... sticks with me. It was one of the most haunting soul rending things I have ever encountered. A gun in such a situation might or not even be able to be brought to bear... it's the notion... it gives me a much better chance IF I can bring it into play.
A little more of this and that... No, actually, I think it is bed time. Good night. Well, I could feed the girls one last time. I have been getting them six small meals a day. While they never get fed to the point of being overly full, they also never get completely full, either. If I could regulate my hours of sleep, it might be perfect for them, dieteticly. Then again, since they are still not completely domesticated, some variance might actually serve them better than absolute regularity. Who knows. Ah, right, good night.
.
It isn't much but it works. The game is going well. There are always little things to work out, and I learn about game mechanics and such all the time. As I said, I don't read the manual. Some manuals are horrible though, anyway. Some, many, do not actually tell you how to use devices, mechanics, or weapons. Some don't even include those things. Tonight I figured out how to save, quite by accident actually. Okay, so that is probably in the manual, if not all of them.
I think I am going back to feeding myself at the end of this month. It has been good to have food coming in but I need to do that myself from now on. I will speak with the man whose family has been heading that up this Sunday. While it probably will hurt a little financially, it is also probably a bit of a relief. It was one more thing he had to do in an already hectic personal, professional, social, and religious life.
Shoulder holster are wonderful things. While I am in my pj's, I can holster the pistol without losing my bottoms. I ran out of chew so... at 0 dark thirty I am out smoking once in a while. The scream of that mountain lion, the surprise and close nature of it... sticks with me. It was one of the most haunting soul rending things I have ever encountered. A gun in such a situation might or not even be able to be brought to bear... it's the notion... it gives me a much better chance IF I can bring it into play.
A little more of this and that... No, actually, I think it is bed time. Good night. Well, I could feed the girls one last time. I have been getting them six small meals a day. While they never get fed to the point of being overly full, they also never get completely full, either. If I could regulate my hours of sleep, it might be perfect for them, dieteticly. Then again, since they are still not completely domesticated, some variance might actually serve them better than absolute regularity. Who knows. Ah, right, good night.
Thursday, September 20, 2012
Well? What... Pushing the envelope is sort of fun.
.
.
I can't be sure when I went to bed. I know it was after 2:00, I think it was past 3:00, I am almost certain is was well before 4:00. Simply, I was totally spent when I went to bed. I woke a few times to cat whisker remise, followed by a passata sotto, along with feints, second intentions, lunges and so on. I won't swear which of the girls was on point. I think they took turns. Until a bit past 11:00, however, I was right where I was going to stay. That is almost eight hours of sleep, I am... happy with that. Now to try and shift it to an earlier waking though. Again.
While I can't do much physically, it seems I can still wear myself out. Further, I still have some sense of gaming. While that section is difficult, and will continue to get more difficult per setting, I will be keeping it in mind as I play the rest of the game. I will be practicing with that weapon, learning the keying, trying to make that second nature in real time and in fight or flight situations, and trying to improve my visual and aural cue reception and response times. It is such a different game style, in some sense, than what I usually stay within. While all that is easier said than done, it... will definitely be on my mind.
I have fed the girls, dealt with their litter boxes... adding more litter. The instructions for this new litter suggest placing 1 1/2" of material in the pan. The girls aren't particularly fond of that and I see no reason to do so. I have added another inch or two of the new litter. It is working quite well. I can't wait to see if it lasts as long as it says. It suggests, with one litter box and two cats, the litter is supposed to function for up to two weeks. That is impossible, my girls are small and relieve them outside a quarter to have the time and that wouldn't work for them, at all. I have three litter boxes though, and two cats of course. I don't mind stressing the stuff to the breaking point since I am clearing it daily. I will KNOW when it begins to, or absolutely and abruptly, fails. I don't like it, because it seems weird and such. It is new and different, and old dogs just like... things to be as they always were. But if it works as long as it says, with as little fuss as it has shown to be, I may stick with it. Two six pound bags (since I want a deeper level than manufactures suggest is needed), if it works out, will replace three to four 25 pound bags of standard litter. Just hauling that around the store and the house is enough, well, and tossing such a huge mass at the end of each week.
Then again, and too, I wasn't doing daily policing with it, so... my bad on that end. Dunno, figuring things out. Either I am just goofing, was ignorant, must also include my disability and inability to sometimes do things over the long term, some or all of those in combination, some math, a bit of science, and figuring out various truths. I never know, for sure... what is just me and what is beyond my control. If I can't keep up the daily policing, cheaper is better. If I can, expensive wins even economically in the long run. We will see. All this for... cat litter? Hey, I never said I was... a simple guy. I also have outright declared I can be a fool. Take your pick. I'll just... do what I do, as I can, with what I have.
Is the turtle a fool? The hare? Or... are they just what they are and exactly what they are supposed to be? Riddle me this.
Back to gaming. Have a great day.
.
I can't be sure when I went to bed. I know it was after 2:00, I think it was past 3:00, I am almost certain is was well before 4:00. Simply, I was totally spent when I went to bed. I woke a few times to cat whisker remise, followed by a passata sotto, along with feints, second intentions, lunges and so on. I won't swear which of the girls was on point. I think they took turns. Until a bit past 11:00, however, I was right where I was going to stay. That is almost eight hours of sleep, I am... happy with that. Now to try and shift it to an earlier waking though. Again.
While I can't do much physically, it seems I can still wear myself out. Further, I still have some sense of gaming. While that section is difficult, and will continue to get more difficult per setting, I will be keeping it in mind as I play the rest of the game. I will be practicing with that weapon, learning the keying, trying to make that second nature in real time and in fight or flight situations, and trying to improve my visual and aural cue reception and response times. It is such a different game style, in some sense, than what I usually stay within. While all that is easier said than done, it... will definitely be on my mind.
I have fed the girls, dealt with their litter boxes... adding more litter. The instructions for this new litter suggest placing 1 1/2" of material in the pan. The girls aren't particularly fond of that and I see no reason to do so. I have added another inch or two of the new litter. It is working quite well. I can't wait to see if it lasts as long as it says. It suggests, with one litter box and two cats, the litter is supposed to function for up to two weeks. That is impossible, my girls are small and relieve them outside a quarter to have the time and that wouldn't work for them, at all. I have three litter boxes though, and two cats of course. I don't mind stressing the stuff to the breaking point since I am clearing it daily. I will KNOW when it begins to, or absolutely and abruptly, fails. I don't like it, because it seems weird and such. It is new and different, and old dogs just like... things to be as they always were. But if it works as long as it says, with as little fuss as it has shown to be, I may stick with it. Two six pound bags (since I want a deeper level than manufactures suggest is needed), if it works out, will replace three to four 25 pound bags of standard litter. Just hauling that around the store and the house is enough, well, and tossing such a huge mass at the end of each week.
Then again, and too, I wasn't doing daily policing with it, so... my bad on that end. Dunno, figuring things out. Either I am just goofing, was ignorant, must also include my disability and inability to sometimes do things over the long term, some or all of those in combination, some math, a bit of science, and figuring out various truths. I never know, for sure... what is just me and what is beyond my control. If I can't keep up the daily policing, cheaper is better. If I can, expensive wins even economically in the long run. We will see. All this for... cat litter? Hey, I never said I was... a simple guy. I also have outright declared I can be a fool. Take your pick. I'll just... do what I do, as I can, with what I have.
Is the turtle a fool? The hare? Or... are they just what they are and exactly what they are supposed to be? Riddle me this.
Back to gaming. Have a great day.
Old dogs, new tricks?
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While not optimal, on my second or third try after writing the last post? Done. I beat Tiamat. While it wasn't flawless, and it hurt like pulling teeth in some ways, done is done is over... until the next time or worse, the next levels of difficulty. Meh... I am well on my way to the next target. Having actually gained access to a means of backtracking already, I went back and picked up what I could. Some areas remain off limits to me, others I had missed I found, and a few were open to me now that I have a ranged weapon. Hmm, I probably shouldn't push it when I am this tired, I got seriously lost and messed up in one area. While it is a bit of a complex area, I simply forgot where I had entered. I was combining, in memory, my first play through and my return. The two have different way points, with a new means of travel allowing for a different way out. Never mind, problem solved. I did look at forums, but they... were more confusing that not. I just did it myself.
Not bad for an old dog. I am just... collecting a few things while I wind down for the night. I am not sure if old dogs can learn new tricks or if it is more like old dogs can continue to do tricks they learned when younger? I'm just not sure which is truer, if both are, or if only one applies. Perhaps none of those work. Blasted thinking!
Good night, for sure.
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While not optimal, on my second or third try after writing the last post? Done. I beat Tiamat. While it wasn't flawless, and it hurt like pulling teeth in some ways, done is done is over... until the next time or worse, the next levels of difficulty. Meh... I am well on my way to the next target. Having actually gained access to a means of backtracking already, I went back and picked up what I could. Some areas remain off limits to me, others I had missed I found, and a few were open to me now that I have a ranged weapon. Hmm, I probably shouldn't push it when I am this tired, I got seriously lost and messed up in one area. While it is a bit of a complex area, I simply forgot where I had entered. I was combining, in memory, my first play through and my return. The two have different way points, with a new means of travel allowing for a different way out. Never mind, problem solved. I did look at forums, but they... were more confusing that not. I just did it myself.
Not bad for an old dog. I am just... collecting a few things while I wind down for the night. I am not sure if old dogs can learn new tricks or if it is more like old dogs can continue to do tricks they learned when younger? I'm just not sure which is truer, if both are, or if only one applies. Perhaps none of those work. Blasted thinking!
Good night, for sure.
Wednesday, September 19, 2012
I must stop commenting!
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Most sites either want to beat a dead horse into meat paste, then discuss the bacteria which grow on it, they want comments that follow the tweet length and depth, or they just create a post and then the local natives develop a sort of communal word bunny hop leading to... nowhere? I guess blogging has been reduced to faux academia, faux "Lord of the Flies", or just an extension of Tweeting. I miss when people would sort of discussed things. Just people, like who you would meet downtown at the coffee shop... if a little more selective. Oh, I miss the point often enough. I have major and minor gaffs galore. I write when I am half asleep and can't figure out what I meant later on. It happens. But generally I think I am rather... typical. I actually like to think of myself as a blue collar academic type. Practical science meets bread and butter common sense, give or take.
Now, I do have strikes against me. For a number of right and wrong reasons. Anyone who has blogged, or even commented, for years knows that is the way the blogosphere works. Some try to change their identity. Which slays me. I couldn't and wouldn't hide who I am for dollar or donut. Good, bad, ugly... it's... just me. But I am old in my ways, neither hip nor truly the better (or worse) form of academic, or just a fanboy. I don't really have many places where I am all that welcome, to be honest. A few places that tolerate. Some places that even respond from time to time.
So, I have been writing tons of comments, as usual. But now I click out rather than publish. I still get to say what I think, it's just that it doesn't have to be any more than read by myself. Which, is probably how it goes most of the time anyway. The blogosphere is pretty much... for professionals (trained to be pretty liberal to get by in this 'new age'), government workers (go figure), academics, and students. A few independent minds, which haven't been assumed by the hive mind yet, mostly. Well, that is why the last elections have had Zero, McCain, and Romney as the candidates too. I'll post as long as I live, at this point. What else could I possibly put out that is any worse than anything I have posted? But comments? Yeah, I'll taper that back. Some of you will get a nod, to let you know I'm still checking in. But even then I need to keep it 128 alpha-numerics or less.
I have gotten further in the area of the game. I am not past the area. I have simply gotten further along through it. On the easiest setting it isn't quite as bad as what I was seeing. Those battles must be on the hardest setting. Very glad I restarted the game, setting gameplay to the lower setting near the beginning. I don't know how many attacks it will take, once the beast is grounded. And some of the game play I am facing isn't the same as the harder level so it is a bit confusing. There is no way to tell how far along the battle is as the health of the opponent is not indicated in any way. I may try to find a YouTube vid of the fight at my level of difficulty. I just hate not having any kind of idea of how much damage needs to be delivered, maybe ideas on how the fight goes and what to look for, or how long the fight would, could, should take. I've grounded the flying beast several times now, then fought it, attacking at least five or six times until finally losing. Gah! Still, not bad for about a half hour of play time. Well, compared to two days... that commenter had been playing at my level of difficulty too. I hope to get through it yet tonight, but I won't play more than a half hour at a time. Too frustrating.
Later, probably good night.
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Most sites either want to beat a dead horse into meat paste, then discuss the bacteria which grow on it, they want comments that follow the tweet length and depth, or they just create a post and then the local natives develop a sort of communal word bunny hop leading to... nowhere? I guess blogging has been reduced to faux academia, faux "Lord of the Flies", or just an extension of Tweeting. I miss when people would sort of discussed things. Just people, like who you would meet downtown at the coffee shop... if a little more selective. Oh, I miss the point often enough. I have major and minor gaffs galore. I write when I am half asleep and can't figure out what I meant later on. It happens. But generally I think I am rather... typical. I actually like to think of myself as a blue collar academic type. Practical science meets bread and butter common sense, give or take.
Now, I do have strikes against me. For a number of right and wrong reasons. Anyone who has blogged, or even commented, for years knows that is the way the blogosphere works. Some try to change their identity. Which slays me. I couldn't and wouldn't hide who I am for dollar or donut. Good, bad, ugly... it's... just me. But I am old in my ways, neither hip nor truly the better (or worse) form of academic, or just a fanboy. I don't really have many places where I am all that welcome, to be honest. A few places that tolerate. Some places that even respond from time to time.
So, I have been writing tons of comments, as usual. But now I click out rather than publish. I still get to say what I think, it's just that it doesn't have to be any more than read by myself. Which, is probably how it goes most of the time anyway. The blogosphere is pretty much... for professionals (trained to be pretty liberal to get by in this 'new age'), government workers (go figure), academics, and students. A few independent minds, which haven't been assumed by the hive mind yet, mostly. Well, that is why the last elections have had Zero, McCain, and Romney as the candidates too. I'll post as long as I live, at this point. What else could I possibly put out that is any worse than anything I have posted? But comments? Yeah, I'll taper that back. Some of you will get a nod, to let you know I'm still checking in. But even then I need to keep it 128 alpha-numerics or less.
I have gotten further in the area of the game. I am not past the area. I have simply gotten further along through it. On the easiest setting it isn't quite as bad as what I was seeing. Those battles must be on the hardest setting. Very glad I restarted the game, setting gameplay to the lower setting near the beginning. I don't know how many attacks it will take, once the beast is grounded. And some of the game play I am facing isn't the same as the harder level so it is a bit confusing. There is no way to tell how far along the battle is as the health of the opponent is not indicated in any way. I may try to find a YouTube vid of the fight at my level of difficulty. I just hate not having any kind of idea of how much damage needs to be delivered, maybe ideas on how the fight goes and what to look for, or how long the fight would, could, should take. I've grounded the flying beast several times now, then fought it, attacking at least five or six times until finally losing. Gah! Still, not bad for about a half hour of play time. Well, compared to two days... that commenter had been playing at my level of difficulty too. I hope to get through it yet tonight, but I won't play more than a half hour at a time. Too frustrating.
Later, probably good night.
Gah! I love the game, but...
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Every game has it's problems. Some games are bad enough it would be like saying Zero has problems. There isn't anything but problems. Well, and the types of problems is a mitigating factor. If the problem is the game is a bit too steep in difficulty, that is one thing. But if the game is too steep, then too lean, plus the mechanics, controls, logic, and story all fail, then it's a tosser. *cough* 007 Quantum of Solace *cough* The game I am playing is fine. Difficulties, so far, have mostly been mastering new tools and techniques, being able to miss things fairly easily even with a good eye, experience finding the hidden, and taking the time to try to flesh things out. So, that's not really a problem.
I just hit the first set of snags in the game though. On the good side I am told this is the worst of it. First, a set of fights that took me a dozen tries, among the four arenas, on the easiest setting. At least when you finally won a fight, that was a checkpoint, each arena area being it's own little test. There simply isn't a good way, a solid technique, or any way to alter the fact that it ends up being a button mashing part of the game, dependent on luck, fast mashing, and just a bit of seeing things right as they are about to become a problem and getting out of the way. While you do improve, you don't know how you improve. Less than half an hour later I hit the second snag. This one took... two hours to best. Over and over, a group of three fights, though this time you had to beat every fight to get to a checkpoint. Failing meant restarting the whole series. The final one, another half hour or so after the second snag, I'm into a whole new level of game stupidity.
The first one was a little ticklish. But each fight was separate, so... you could push through. The second one was downright frustrating. This final one is absolute murder. To start off, you have a flying foe, a dragon-bat-demon, of course. Now, you need to use a weapon you just got (for first time players), your first ranged weapon so you are also learning multi-targeting, fire button, and some of the other mechanics. This beast starts out spewing fireballs, while merrily flying around. Your job is to snare inert explosive material (if the source is hit by a fireball before you snag the material you get a double attack (against you)), throw it at the beast so it sticks, then target a flame source then the bomb on the beast, then throw the weapon (did I mention the beast is flying around and bellowing fireballs at you?). Okay, so when you do make all that happen, if you are still alive, you then have to sprint to the thing while it hits the ground, attack it a few times, then run away (it is more powerful than you, straight out, even on the ground without it's fireballs... it's merely supposed to be slower than you. After that, and if you attack and get away, and are still alive, it then gets airborne again and comes at you with it's claws. You can't see it easily, and must really work to even find it in the air (somewhere). You then have to be running (on a rather small platform, so you don't have a lot of space), and then sprint to dodge right as it is about (not when it attacks) to attack. Still with me, okay, you do that three times... Then it gets ugly. Now that is has been grounded, all you have to do is... use the buttons that pop up on-screen when it charges you, to halt it right before it runs you over and mauls you. Once you do that, you attack and run away before it gets back on it's feet after being stunned (you... you did stun it, right?). Now, you rinse and repeat this... MANY times. I think the shortest fight with the beast I saw by someone who must have practiced beyond sanity or spliced, was about ten minutes. On the other hand, most 'fail' videos, and my experience, can have the fight over in less than 30 seconds, being generous. I dunno, it's a game. I don't mind challenge, but this is simply drudgery. Many have quit the game over this part. Some have had it break their playing for weeks. Others have taken two days just to beat it. I dunno. I just hit it, took a break, so I don't know where I will fit in there. Yeah, that's... not fun.
Tonight, something bothered me. Some people asked after me. I told them, other than not being able to do a great deal, that I felt fit as a fiddle. Oh really, I was asked? Yep. Which is fine. But after the third time, then fourth, and a parting time of asking if I really felt okay, and looking at me funny for feeling fine, I... I don't like the implications. Troubling. I may have to... switch some things up.
Oh, my weight has come down again. I am at 257. That is the lowest weight I have gradually reduced too since I first became ill. There might be a few times where extreme inability brought my weight down fast to that level, but never have I slowly reduced my weight like this. Like I said I am eating my way to weight loss. I may be changing what and how I do things to that end, but... It is good to be down that much. Seven more pounds and I will be at my goal, though I am not really... dieting either, so who knows what a final number might really be.
Hmm, back to the dungeon. Literally! Heh! Later.
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Every game has it's problems. Some games are bad enough it would be like saying Zero has problems. There isn't anything but problems. Well, and the types of problems is a mitigating factor. If the problem is the game is a bit too steep in difficulty, that is one thing. But if the game is too steep, then too lean, plus the mechanics, controls, logic, and story all fail, then it's a tosser. *cough* 007 Quantum of Solace *cough* The game I am playing is fine. Difficulties, so far, have mostly been mastering new tools and techniques, being able to miss things fairly easily even with a good eye, experience finding the hidden, and taking the time to try to flesh things out. So, that's not really a problem.
I just hit the first set of snags in the game though. On the good side I am told this is the worst of it. First, a set of fights that took me a dozen tries, among the four arenas, on the easiest setting. At least when you finally won a fight, that was a checkpoint, each arena area being it's own little test. There simply isn't a good way, a solid technique, or any way to alter the fact that it ends up being a button mashing part of the game, dependent on luck, fast mashing, and just a bit of seeing things right as they are about to become a problem and getting out of the way. While you do improve, you don't know how you improve. Less than half an hour later I hit the second snag. This one took... two hours to best. Over and over, a group of three fights, though this time you had to beat every fight to get to a checkpoint. Failing meant restarting the whole series. The final one, another half hour or so after the second snag, I'm into a whole new level of game stupidity.
The first one was a little ticklish. But each fight was separate, so... you could push through. The second one was downright frustrating. This final one is absolute murder. To start off, you have a flying foe, a dragon-bat-demon, of course. Now, you need to use a weapon you just got (for first time players), your first ranged weapon so you are also learning multi-targeting, fire button, and some of the other mechanics. This beast starts out spewing fireballs, while merrily flying around. Your job is to snare inert explosive material (if the source is hit by a fireball before you snag the material you get a double attack (against you)), throw it at the beast so it sticks, then target a flame source then the bomb on the beast, then throw the weapon (did I mention the beast is flying around and bellowing fireballs at you?). Okay, so when you do make all that happen, if you are still alive, you then have to sprint to the thing while it hits the ground, attack it a few times, then run away (it is more powerful than you, straight out, even on the ground without it's fireballs... it's merely supposed to be slower than you. After that, and if you attack and get away, and are still alive, it then gets airborne again and comes at you with it's claws. You can't see it easily, and must really work to even find it in the air (somewhere). You then have to be running (on a rather small platform, so you don't have a lot of space), and then sprint to dodge right as it is about (not when it attacks) to attack. Still with me, okay, you do that three times... Then it gets ugly. Now that is has been grounded, all you have to do is... use the buttons that pop up on-screen when it charges you, to halt it right before it runs you over and mauls you. Once you do that, you attack and run away before it gets back on it's feet after being stunned (you... you did stun it, right?). Now, you rinse and repeat this... MANY times. I think the shortest fight with the beast I saw by someone who must have practiced beyond sanity or spliced, was about ten minutes. On the other hand, most 'fail' videos, and my experience, can have the fight over in less than 30 seconds, being generous. I dunno, it's a game. I don't mind challenge, but this is simply drudgery. Many have quit the game over this part. Some have had it break their playing for weeks. Others have taken two days just to beat it. I dunno. I just hit it, took a break, so I don't know where I will fit in there. Yeah, that's... not fun.
Tonight, something bothered me. Some people asked after me. I told them, other than not being able to do a great deal, that I felt fit as a fiddle. Oh really, I was asked? Yep. Which is fine. But after the third time, then fourth, and a parting time of asking if I really felt okay, and looking at me funny for feeling fine, I... I don't like the implications. Troubling. I may have to... switch some things up.
Oh, my weight has come down again. I am at 257. That is the lowest weight I have gradually reduced too since I first became ill. There might be a few times where extreme inability brought my weight down fast to that level, but never have I slowly reduced my weight like this. Like I said I am eating my way to weight loss. I may be changing what and how I do things to that end, but... It is good to be down that much. Seven more pounds and I will be at my goal, though I am not really... dieting either, so who knows what a final number might really be.
Hmm, back to the dungeon. Literally! Heh! Later.
Noice!
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Yeah, okay, I didn't get to bed until... 4:30 or something thereabouts. I turned the alarm clock off on my way in. No way was I going to disturb my sleep in an hour and a half! I didn't want to reset it either. I simply didn't know what would happen to my sleep. At 9:00 I woke laughing about something. Oh, right, Sassy was using her whiskers to wake poppo. Right in the face. Oh heavens does that tickle sometimes. I am not usually ticklish, unfortunately, but the girls are masters at the art. I thought to just herd the girls out, after I chuckled a bit, then go back to bed. But as I got up? I... felt good. So, I got up earlier today than on the days I went to bed at 21:00 or 22:00, even 20:00! A good game, indeed, is worth it's weight in gold. Yeah, it's... a trick. But when you are broken, tricks... make you feel better.
The game is going along well. Yeah, I keep missing things. I get involved in the play and forget to check each new area for things I "should" pick up. And while I get many things, natively curious as I am, there is always something(s) that just get missed. No worries. The first play through and all that. Especially on a fun game. I don't want to ruin this game by knowing ahead of time what I need or want to do. I will simply learn. There are a few things I absolutely will get, 10 things to be exact. But to get them I need something later in the game, then I need to get much closer to the end of the game so that I may return to the old parts of the game. Or... something... or so it seems. I'll... figure it out, mostly on my own. This will be worth playing through a number of times anyway, like I said.
My hope though, too, since I am sort of pulled from sleep, is to get in a shower through the day, and make it to the stores tonight. Late afternoon, evening, or even past midnight, I don't care. I need some items. My freezer is bare, meaning no meats for now. I really need to figure out canning. My mother suggested that I not buy canning items, as she has that and if she moves in she will bring that. The problem is... I need to get going on some of that stuff now. The prices have become insane, even for hamburger. I can't wait too much longer, for when meat is out of my economic reach. Now, now, now, yesterday type NOW. I am running through sand and two feet of water with one leg in a cast. But it's what I have. Ugh!
Oh, the item I purchased, the food strainer? Both my neighbor (who said it was one of the top two) and my mother knew the device and... approved. A rare thing, a good thing. You know when the more... standard folk who aren't into the hype of prepping and such... approve of an item that... you did good. She further approved because she doesn't have such a device. She does what any good farm girl had to do... she improvises. And she improvises better than I use my better tools. Heh. Women... gotta love em'... until you need to hide from them. :p
Good day.
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Yeah, okay, I didn't get to bed until... 4:30 or something thereabouts. I turned the alarm clock off on my way in. No way was I going to disturb my sleep in an hour and a half! I didn't want to reset it either. I simply didn't know what would happen to my sleep. At 9:00 I woke laughing about something. Oh, right, Sassy was using her whiskers to wake poppo. Right in the face. Oh heavens does that tickle sometimes. I am not usually ticklish, unfortunately, but the girls are masters at the art. I thought to just herd the girls out, after I chuckled a bit, then go back to bed. But as I got up? I... felt good. So, I got up earlier today than on the days I went to bed at 21:00 or 22:00, even 20:00! A good game, indeed, is worth it's weight in gold. Yeah, it's... a trick. But when you are broken, tricks... make you feel better.
The game is going along well. Yeah, I keep missing things. I get involved in the play and forget to check each new area for things I "should" pick up. And while I get many things, natively curious as I am, there is always something(s) that just get missed. No worries. The first play through and all that. Especially on a fun game. I don't want to ruin this game by knowing ahead of time what I need or want to do. I will simply learn. There are a few things I absolutely will get, 10 things to be exact. But to get them I need something later in the game, then I need to get much closer to the end of the game so that I may return to the old parts of the game. Or... something... or so it seems. I'll... figure it out, mostly on my own. This will be worth playing through a number of times anyway, like I said.
My hope though, too, since I am sort of pulled from sleep, is to get in a shower through the day, and make it to the stores tonight. Late afternoon, evening, or even past midnight, I don't care. I need some items. My freezer is bare, meaning no meats for now. I really need to figure out canning. My mother suggested that I not buy canning items, as she has that and if she moves in she will bring that. The problem is... I need to get going on some of that stuff now. The prices have become insane, even for hamburger. I can't wait too much longer, for when meat is out of my economic reach. Now, now, now, yesterday type NOW. I am running through sand and two feet of water with one leg in a cast. But it's what I have. Ugh!
Oh, the item I purchased, the food strainer? Both my neighbor (who said it was one of the top two) and my mother knew the device and... approved. A rare thing, a good thing. You know when the more... standard folk who aren't into the hype of prepping and such... approve of an item that... you did good. She further approved because she doesn't have such a device. She does what any good farm girl had to do... she improvises. And she improvises better than I use my better tools. Heh. Women... gotta love em'... until you need to hide from them. :p
Good day.
Tuesday, September 18, 2012
To the lame a good game is worth it's weight in gold.
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Thankfully games aren't quite that expensive. Being that good games are rare, and in particular good games I like, can get into, and which have mechanics that simply work? One in ten or less, just in my typical genre. So finding one outside of my typical play-style is... wonderful. It is 23:11 and I am still awake. I really should shut down for the night. But anyone who has ever had an addiction, especially with no reason not to entertain it, knows that going to bed will not happen for some number of hours.
I started out in the hardest mode. While that worked for a bit it doesn't stand up throughout the game. So, I backtracked and started at the easiest mode. After that brief introduction into absolute chaos, the game is moving along much more smoothly. I decided to try to get trophies on this lesser level of play, and to that end cast about for guides. I did find a decent guide to trophies (most of which are simply gained through gameplay, and can't really be missed). I also found some things I had already passed in play, and wouldn't be able to get back to until much later when the relative value of the items was greatly reduced, so I restarted the game again. While I don't like playing on someone else's schedules, it beats needing to play a game several times, especially since little but armor carries over into a new game. But, that is the way it goes. This game might be fun enough to play through several times though. Once the trophies are tended, all that remains is the good stuff. Hack, slash, rinse, repeat. Oh, and wonderfully, this game has no online component. Wonderful! I HATE online components, especially when they are needed for trophies, more so to get the overall trophy. So... European... like soccer, socialism, social status placement according to parents, and such. Bleh.
This game might even get me out of bed earlier. While a good game can reduce my sleep periods, it does little to enhance my activity otherwise. That is just the way of it. At least I am keeping up on brushing my teeth. I am keeping the cat litter policed. On top of keeping the girls fed, watered, and attended. They love their attention sessions. Two new daily daily activities, one of them requiring two actions per day. Yes, small. But that is what I have. Once I get my home cleaned up again there is the hope that I can figure out a simpler way to live, one that doesn't cause quite as much fuss as the way I have been trying to live to this point. As I said, paper plates and plastic pretty much disposable (if reusable to a point) "silverware". Even bowls have been purchased which can be reused or become instant fodder. Cooking will still requiring cleaning, but that is rather minor. I only have just so many pots and pans, if I have more than some smaller commercial kitchens. About half of my pots and pans are specialized, so I won't end up with all of them in need of cleaning at once. How often do you need a domed brazier? :p
Well, on to a bit more (?) gaming. Oh, and I did find, in-game, where the combat combos are listed. You can even buy or possibly otherwise earn others. All good. Good night.
.
Thankfully games aren't quite that expensive. Being that good games are rare, and in particular good games I like, can get into, and which have mechanics that simply work? One in ten or less, just in my typical genre. So finding one outside of my typical play-style is... wonderful. It is 23:11 and I am still awake. I really should shut down for the night. But anyone who has ever had an addiction, especially with no reason not to entertain it, knows that going to bed will not happen for some number of hours.
I started out in the hardest mode. While that worked for a bit it doesn't stand up throughout the game. So, I backtracked and started at the easiest mode. After that brief introduction into absolute chaos, the game is moving along much more smoothly. I decided to try to get trophies on this lesser level of play, and to that end cast about for guides. I did find a decent guide to trophies (most of which are simply gained through gameplay, and can't really be missed). I also found some things I had already passed in play, and wouldn't be able to get back to until much later when the relative value of the items was greatly reduced, so I restarted the game again. While I don't like playing on someone else's schedules, it beats needing to play a game several times, especially since little but armor carries over into a new game. But, that is the way it goes. This game might be fun enough to play through several times though. Once the trophies are tended, all that remains is the good stuff. Hack, slash, rinse, repeat. Oh, and wonderfully, this game has no online component. Wonderful! I HATE online components, especially when they are needed for trophies, more so to get the overall trophy. So... European... like soccer, socialism, social status placement according to parents, and such. Bleh.
This game might even get me out of bed earlier. While a good game can reduce my sleep periods, it does little to enhance my activity otherwise. That is just the way of it. At least I am keeping up on brushing my teeth. I am keeping the cat litter policed. On top of keeping the girls fed, watered, and attended. They love their attention sessions. Two new daily daily activities, one of them requiring two actions per day. Yes, small. But that is what I have. Once I get my home cleaned up again there is the hope that I can figure out a simpler way to live, one that doesn't cause quite as much fuss as the way I have been trying to live to this point. As I said, paper plates and plastic pretty much disposable (if reusable to a point) "silverware". Even bowls have been purchased which can be reused or become instant fodder. Cooking will still requiring cleaning, but that is rather minor. I only have just so many pots and pans, if I have more than some smaller commercial kitchens. About half of my pots and pans are specialized, so I won't end up with all of them in need of cleaning at once. How often do you need a domed brazier? :p
Well, on to a bit more (?) gaming. Oh, and I did find, in-game, where the combat combos are listed. You can even buy or possibly otherwise earn others. All good. Good night.
Gaming.
.
.
Yes, I got to the game, faster than I thought I would. Simply, there is little else for me to do and it was that or a nap. If it were the afternoon, and if my sleep was under control, a nap is always a reasonable proposition, legal in most states and municipalities. A few hours after waking, and already sleeping 12 to 14 hours a day? Yeah, no, so gaming it was. Darksiders was slid into the machine and? No problems. I adjusted a few things. Some people salt their food before tasting it, I advance the sensitivity for aiming. I am not sure if that is right for this game yet, but... And, no, I did not bother reading the "instructions", looking online, or doing anything but simply playing. I also started on the hardest settings for the game if I may be backing that off.
So far so good. I have run into monsters, demons in this case, that... Well, I've made it through several of them and a good hour or two of game play against other things, but have come to the end of the road. So, I am looking online to try to figure some things out. This isn't exactly my sort of game, per se. If I had known it would be a 'brawler', not a first-person-shooter, I might not have purchased the game. Still, I think I like it enough that I am pleased with the deal. What I need to figure out, since I generally abhor and avoid brawlers, is... how to make combos, combination attacks, changing weapons on the fly, and using powers. While it is cool to do all that, to a complete novice in the genre it is a bit of a tech-shock. Now, the truth is, I AM doing combos, all the time. What I lack is knowing which combos are the most potent, how to use them rather than just mash buttons, and such. It is a totally different game style. So far most of what I have found discusses either information that is absolutely unrelated to gameplay or nerds talking about how awesome it is to do what they do what they show while not discussing how to do so, or even really what they are doing. Awesome! Nerds... Hey, God bless em'. But they are annoying when looking for how to do what... I'm not even sure they know what they are doing. Just set it up and... mash! Awesome! Gah!
A little sore from all that sleep, or sleeping at a bad angle for some period of time. Shoulders, upper arms, just ache. I probably rolled wrongly when dealing with the clock, then getting back into bed. You don't have to sleep long in a bad position to really irritate the body. Then again, some parts of my mind don't mind a little pain. It gives me something to resist during the day, to try to flex out or otherwise figure out how to mitigate. A corporeal game? Heh. Yep, if it isn't too severe.
Have a good one.
.
Yes, I got to the game, faster than I thought I would. Simply, there is little else for me to do and it was that or a nap. If it were the afternoon, and if my sleep was under control, a nap is always a reasonable proposition, legal in most states and municipalities. A few hours after waking, and already sleeping 12 to 14 hours a day? Yeah, no, so gaming it was. Darksiders was slid into the machine and? No problems. I adjusted a few things. Some people salt their food before tasting it, I advance the sensitivity for aiming. I am not sure if that is right for this game yet, but... And, no, I did not bother reading the "instructions", looking online, or doing anything but simply playing. I also started on the hardest settings for the game if I may be backing that off.
So far so good. I have run into monsters, demons in this case, that... Well, I've made it through several of them and a good hour or two of game play against other things, but have come to the end of the road. So, I am looking online to try to figure some things out. This isn't exactly my sort of game, per se. If I had known it would be a 'brawler', not a first-person-shooter, I might not have purchased the game. Still, I think I like it enough that I am pleased with the deal. What I need to figure out, since I generally abhor and avoid brawlers, is... how to make combos, combination attacks, changing weapons on the fly, and using powers. While it is cool to do all that, to a complete novice in the genre it is a bit of a tech-shock. Now, the truth is, I AM doing combos, all the time. What I lack is knowing which combos are the most potent, how to use them rather than just mash buttons, and such. It is a totally different game style. So far most of what I have found discusses either information that is absolutely unrelated to gameplay or nerds talking about how awesome it is to do what they do what they show while not discussing how to do so, or even really what they are doing. Awesome! Nerds... Hey, God bless em'. But they are annoying when looking for how to do what... I'm not even sure they know what they are doing. Just set it up and... mash! Awesome! Gah!
A little sore from all that sleep, or sleeping at a bad angle for some period of time. Shoulders, upper arms, just ache. I probably rolled wrongly when dealing with the clock, then getting back into bed. You don't have to sleep long in a bad position to really irritate the body. Then again, some parts of my mind don't mind a little pain. It gives me something to resist during the day, to try to flex out or otherwise figure out how to mitigate. A corporeal game? Heh. Yep, if it isn't too severe.
Have a good one.
Not cool, not cool at all.
.
.
Yesterday was okay, as I noted. Bits going on, if mostly just staying awake is a trick. I ended up in bed at 20:00. This morning, with the alarm set at 6:00, after resetting it some unknown number of times, sleeping through it for long periods, and even then having to force the issue, I was not out of bed until sometime shortly after 10:00. But why? I was a good boy. I went to bed early. I'm doing everything right that I can. Sometimes, when you are this sick, it is... just because. Oh, I am sure they have a chance at finding a specific biological reason. But the underlying issue(s) mean there is nothing that can be done to fix it. Knowing never makes accepting easy. Faith has not fixed the problem, so it is used to console me from the frustration.
On the good side, Amazon was on target. One of my devices, the music, and the games are all here. I don't actually have a good means of playing music in my home yet. So those will wait. I am not quite up to trying to figure out how to play a game yet either. While it seems easy, you just put it in and hit buttons until logic and game action help you figure things out. No, I don't read the manuals. I told you, reading is... next to useless quite often. Hmm, maybe I really shouldn't comment at people's sites? Later. I am just not awake or fit enough to figure out a game.
Oh, what did I buy? Metal Gear Solid hd collection, Bioshock 2 (I think I played the first one on PC a lllooonnnggg time ago), Skyrim, and Darksiders I & II. That should be enough gaming for a very long time, the way I play and since I like to look into every part of a game, assuming there are things to do or see. All will have their flaws. Knowing what they are in advance helps a bit, if it will always be somewhat annoying. Flaws are sometimes poor programming and can ruin a game, such as being unable to finish a major epic piece on the highest difficulty. But often they can be seen as shortcuts programmers must make to try to put the world into a digital experience. Some do it better, some should quit, though often the worst of them were put on an impossible schedule and the game was just meant as a quick buck. Darksiders I will probably be the first to be played.
.
Yesterday was okay, as I noted. Bits going on, if mostly just staying awake is a trick. I ended up in bed at 20:00. This morning, with the alarm set at 6:00, after resetting it some unknown number of times, sleeping through it for long periods, and even then having to force the issue, I was not out of bed until sometime shortly after 10:00. But why? I was a good boy. I went to bed early. I'm doing everything right that I can. Sometimes, when you are this sick, it is... just because. Oh, I am sure they have a chance at finding a specific biological reason. But the underlying issue(s) mean there is nothing that can be done to fix it. Knowing never makes accepting easy. Faith has not fixed the problem, so it is used to console me from the frustration.
On the good side, Amazon was on target. One of my devices, the music, and the games are all here. I don't actually have a good means of playing music in my home yet. So those will wait. I am not quite up to trying to figure out how to play a game yet either. While it seems easy, you just put it in and hit buttons until logic and game action help you figure things out. No, I don't read the manuals. I told you, reading is... next to useless quite often. Hmm, maybe I really shouldn't comment at people's sites? Later. I am just not awake or fit enough to figure out a game.
Oh, what did I buy? Metal Gear Solid hd collection, Bioshock 2 (I think I played the first one on PC a lllooonnnggg time ago), Skyrim, and Darksiders I & II. That should be enough gaming for a very long time, the way I play and since I like to look into every part of a game, assuming there are things to do or see. All will have their flaws. Knowing what they are in advance helps a bit, if it will always be somewhat annoying. Flaws are sometimes poor programming and can ruin a game, such as being unable to finish a major epic piece on the highest difficulty. But often they can be seen as shortcuts programmers must make to try to put the world into a digital experience. Some do it better, some should quit, though often the worst of them were put on an impossible schedule and the game was just meant as a quick buck. Darksiders I will probably be the first to be played.
Monday, September 17, 2012
Some news. Some days.
.
.
First the news, or bits of it. It seems Democrats didn't just get the ships wrong. While displaying a panel behind some traitorous general who spoke to the majority Godless, they also added Turkish planes instead of US planes. A mistake? Really? Believe as you wish. An EU lawyer found out about free speech in Europe. Oh, right, there isn't any. That'll teach him. There is an article about a Dem candidate, in Illinois I think. A Democrat doctor who was fired for supporting doctor-assisted suicide while working at a Catholic hospital or some such, is running for election. He wasn't fired for two years, after his editorial, so... then again the Church is beginning to consider defending the lines in the sand again. But... that's not really a story. He is a Democrat, and I hate to say it, but I am beginning to wonder... he is a doctor. Oh, and OWS (Occupy Wall Street) has decided to send their operatives, dressed in business attire, to infiltrate a bunch of big businesses. Yeah, that can only turn out good. Just some things catching my eye.
There is the thing going on between China, Japan, and China putting it's nose into what isn't it's. While the muslims are at it those sneaky reds are checking the back door. Of course Mr. Lead-from-behind isn't exactly on post, so I'm not sure they need to worry. This last isn't really a story, for it's own or news sake, more... an example. The way some people and blogs spend endless hours discussing the topics, dicing things into fine detail, listening to the red over there, the dottering idiot here, the partisans there, all within a narrow reach of other seemingly and as impossible as that is, this "detective" story reminds me of what I see. Well, and why I am decidedly not included. By the way, if you saw the incident, please report to the police who are still trying to... figure it out? Grhrhrhrhahahaha!(tm)
Not much happened today. I have been able to stay awake. I did get the garbage bin back in it's place. As I was heading out to check the garbage truck showed up. A quick wave back and forth, he did his work, and I then retrieved the bin. At least that was done. I achieved the final achievement I can get without trying to find multi-player games for the Bond game, so I put it away. That is one game I will never play again. Some days the girls really like me, some days I am dog poodoo or something. I never can tell with them. Today I was not so favored. All good. The reverse is also true. If I want attention all I need do is say "HUNGRY?". Treats or food had best follow or pouting and tantrums commence... which... yeah... I can be a cruel man. Once in a while, if they have pushed too hard, all they get is big fat tease.
Airing out the home won't do. I am going to have to figure out how to clear the rooms and do some serious carpet cleaning. It simply has to happen. If it was just bad air it would be gone by now. But... how am I going to get to this in my condition? I dunno. Gotta happen or I am stuck here. Is that how shut-ins are born? No, seriously. Yeah, it worries me. It isn't even that much work. A woman could clear the rooms in a day, save for the heavy stuff. And if a she would organize and decide where she wants it, I could move the big stuff in an hour, maybe two. I could even help clear the rooms initially, of the little stuff, if I knew what the heck I was doing and had a minor whip to help keep me on track. A patient whip, to be sure. Nope, this one is mine, if I can figure it all out, then get to it, then keep on it. Yikes!
Have a good evening. And, probably, good night. No, not going to bed really soon. I am simply probably through blogging.
.
First the news, or bits of it. It seems Democrats didn't just get the ships wrong. While displaying a panel behind some traitorous general who spoke to the majority Godless, they also added Turkish planes instead of US planes. A mistake? Really? Believe as you wish. An EU lawyer found out about free speech in Europe. Oh, right, there isn't any. That'll teach him. There is an article about a Dem candidate, in Illinois I think. A Democrat doctor who was fired for supporting doctor-assisted suicide while working at a Catholic hospital or some such, is running for election. He wasn't fired for two years, after his editorial, so... then again the Church is beginning to consider defending the lines in the sand again. But... that's not really a story. He is a Democrat, and I hate to say it, but I am beginning to wonder... he is a doctor. Oh, and OWS (Occupy Wall Street) has decided to send their operatives, dressed in business attire, to infiltrate a bunch of big businesses. Yeah, that can only turn out good. Just some things catching my eye.
There is the thing going on between China, Japan, and China putting it's nose into what isn't it's. While the muslims are at it those sneaky reds are checking the back door. Of course Mr. Lead-from-behind isn't exactly on post, so I'm not sure they need to worry. This last isn't really a story, for it's own or news sake, more... an example. The way some people and blogs spend endless hours discussing the topics, dicing things into fine detail, listening to the red over there, the dottering idiot here, the partisans there, all within a narrow reach of other seemingly and as impossible as that is, this "detective" story reminds me of what I see. Well, and why I am decidedly not included. By the way, if you saw the incident, please report to the police who are still trying to... figure it out? Grhrhrhrhahahaha!(tm)
Not much happened today. I have been able to stay awake. I did get the garbage bin back in it's place. As I was heading out to check the garbage truck showed up. A quick wave back and forth, he did his work, and I then retrieved the bin. At least that was done. I achieved the final achievement I can get without trying to find multi-player games for the Bond game, so I put it away. That is one game I will never play again. Some days the girls really like me, some days I am dog poodoo or something. I never can tell with them. Today I was not so favored. All good. The reverse is also true. If I want attention all I need do is say "HUNGRY?". Treats or food had best follow or pouting and tantrums commence... which... yeah... I can be a cruel man. Once in a while, if they have pushed too hard, all they get is big fat tease.
Airing out the home won't do. I am going to have to figure out how to clear the rooms and do some serious carpet cleaning. It simply has to happen. If it was just bad air it would be gone by now. But... how am I going to get to this in my condition? I dunno. Gotta happen or I am stuck here. Is that how shut-ins are born? No, seriously. Yeah, it worries me. It isn't even that much work. A woman could clear the rooms in a day, save for the heavy stuff. And if a she would organize and decide where she wants it, I could move the big stuff in an hour, maybe two. I could even help clear the rooms initially, of the little stuff, if I knew what the heck I was doing and had a minor whip to help keep me on track. A patient whip, to be sure. Nope, this one is mine, if I can figure it all out, then get to it, then keep on it. Yikes!
Have a good evening. And, probably, good night. No, not going to bed really soon. I am simply probably through blogging.
Women are... well... women. And cats.
.
.
Oh, you get real news elsewhere. As do I. And you believe what you believe about it, and doubt and all the rest on your own. Sure, sometimes I stumble into something and leave my mark on it. But this next is probably something you haven't seen, and wouldn't have seen. Who but women watch the show it was broadcast on? And, yeah, it's meant as fluff, the stuff by which women often can have their vote swayed, so mostly I stay away from it. However, it proves some other points I have in my bag of beliefs. That is what the title is about.
In this article, about a show I won't mention for... many reasons, is a breakdown of some of the dialogue. Even the wives of the rich and powerful are just what all women are. Somewhere between curious and nosy, sometimes a bit odd, and always with little... habits that annoy men in some way or another. For example, the thing about the toothpaste? Yeah, I squeeze from the middle, until it gets down, then begin getting the last bits by squeezing the end and rolling. But leaving the cap off? I dunno. And, yeah, it's a small thing, something I would no more than remark upon a few times during a lifelong marriage (if women take that as harping, too). Women can say something a thousand times a week and it's not harping, but if you say something twice a decade? Harping! Trust me, every single woman I have known was like that. Anyway, all women do little things that annoy. But... don't give up on them for that, just... learn to... grin, even chuckle. It's more fun to, and they still know what you mean. *grins* But what she does with her curiosity, along with the bravery of two women combined (Lord, have mercy) is absolutely tickling my funny bone. I don't know the woman, or her friend. And I am not (I said I am not, Anne) passing judgement. I am just... adding it as proof to my female conspiracy and behavior portfolio.
For all that is and has happened the news cycle has certainly slowed down. Prophets of doom are holding their (our?) breath, partisans have volleyed and are now entrenching rather than attempting to advance, all other news has been forgotten as if nothing else newsworthy is going on. I think many are saving space for "what next". The stream has dried up I guess. Bah, what's an ogre to put together his doom mechanics with without tools, ammo, fodder, and sich? Double bah! *bam-bam* Baby wants more toys! Well, actually, often, I really don't. A bit of quiet is actually nice, when it is right. It is just that... this isn't quiet, this is the quiet before the storm, the true horror, the real SHTF. A shadow is passing over the world. Never worry, there are a few things that bring some cheer even in the gloom of possibilities. Don't tread on me, "bro".
.
Oh, you get real news elsewhere. As do I. And you believe what you believe about it, and doubt and all the rest on your own. Sure, sometimes I stumble into something and leave my mark on it. But this next is probably something you haven't seen, and wouldn't have seen. Who but women watch the show it was broadcast on? And, yeah, it's meant as fluff, the stuff by which women often can have their vote swayed, so mostly I stay away from it. However, it proves some other points I have in my bag of beliefs. That is what the title is about.
In this article, about a show I won't mention for... many reasons, is a breakdown of some of the dialogue. Even the wives of the rich and powerful are just what all women are. Somewhere between curious and nosy, sometimes a bit odd, and always with little... habits that annoy men in some way or another. For example, the thing about the toothpaste? Yeah, I squeeze from the middle, until it gets down, then begin getting the last bits by squeezing the end and rolling. But leaving the cap off? I dunno. And, yeah, it's a small thing, something I would no more than remark upon a few times during a lifelong marriage (if women take that as harping, too). Women can say something a thousand times a week and it's not harping, but if you say something twice a decade? Harping! Trust me, every single woman I have known was like that. Anyway, all women do little things that annoy. But... don't give up on them for that, just... learn to... grin, even chuckle. It's more fun to, and they still know what you mean. *grins* But what she does with her curiosity, along with the bravery of two women combined (Lord, have mercy) is absolutely tickling my funny bone. I don't know the woman, or her friend. And I am not (I said I am not, Anne) passing judgement. I am just... adding it as proof to my female conspiracy and behavior portfolio.
For all that is and has happened the news cycle has certainly slowed down. Prophets of doom are holding their (our?) breath, partisans have volleyed and are now entrenching rather than attempting to advance, all other news has been forgotten as if nothing else newsworthy is going on. I think many are saving space for "what next". The stream has dried up I guess. Bah, what's an ogre to put together his doom mechanics with without tools, ammo, fodder, and sich? Double bah! *bam-bam* Baby wants more toys! Well, actually, often, I really don't. A bit of quiet is actually nice, when it is right. It is just that... this isn't quiet, this is the quiet before the storm, the true horror, the real SHTF. A shadow is passing over the world. Never worry, there are a few things that bring some cheer even in the gloom of possibilities. Don't tread on me, "bro".
Some days you win, some days you lose.
.
.
Some days, like today, you split the difference and, I think, come out smelling like a rose. Well, okay, an ogre rose. And, no, a rose is not a rose is not a rose. Trust me. I was up until almost 22:30 last night. Subjectively, that is good as that is the latest I have been able to stay up. Objectively I didn't wake until 9:00 or so yesterday, so my day wasn't longer, just adjusted. But that isn't the thing. I had hoped to wake at 6:00 this morning. Nope. Oddly, I woke at 5:30 to void, feeling pretty good and sure I would wake at 6:00, I wanted that last half hour of sleep. Nope. I didn't wake until 8:00, the alarm still bleating. At first I couldn't get traction. By 8:30 I had enough mojo to get the trash together and out, then took that first group to the curb. But needing to change cat litter I wanted to hurry and get that done. Which I did, and it is out in the bin at the curb. Fine. I am all but sure I beat the garbage truck. But, I wasn't awake by 6:00, or even on task for another two and a half hours. All good.
I'm not sure what to do today. Dishes still languish. There aren't that many, either. Just standing is a chore right now, and has been for a while. As I said, just taking a shower has been a test, and for most of this summer, even when I got ac in. That comes and goes in my life. It is odd, now, to look back on my life with the new medical information and begin to make sense of things. Some of it will never make sense, corrupted and missing memory, the odd reasoning of other people, heck even my doctors knew what my real medical problem was with a high percentage of probability and simply didn't tell me... long ago. At least 12 to 15 years ago, and I am guessing minimally though very possibly the first doctors to review my case knew. It is just that what doctors did for bad hearts back in the day, possibly, they guessed, was worse than what the disease would do? Did they even stop to consider the problems with giving a heart patient a psychiatric diagnosis? The social costs? Still, it worked out, but it could have been a bit more smooth. I will never know, for certain. But just in my life, things that happened or didn't, what I did and couldn't, some things make perfect sense now.
The cats have been fed. Sam was unceremoniously put outside for trying to gag herself into a vomit to get me to feed them. Sassy might be annoying when she isn't fed, Sam just does passive aggressive things that absolutely annoy me. Still, she just wants to go outside anyway, so... win-win for her. Plus she knows even if I tell her I won't feed her every time I pass her outside dealing with trash that, when I am finished with trash... brunch on the patio. Brat. Sassy doesn't like this particular food all that well. Same brand, different texture or flavor than her favorites I suppose. So, she eats a bit, then storms around the house until she realizes I have her on ignore, then goes back and eats a bit more, then does it all over again. An hour after she is out? She begs for more. Hehe. Must be nice to be a cat... or a woman... in some ways. Hey, just... saying...
Well, I should... get to something. Even if something is more of nothing. Good day.
.
Some days, like today, you split the difference and, I think, come out smelling like a rose. Well, okay, an ogre rose. And, no, a rose is not a rose is not a rose. Trust me. I was up until almost 22:30 last night. Subjectively, that is good as that is the latest I have been able to stay up. Objectively I didn't wake until 9:00 or so yesterday, so my day wasn't longer, just adjusted. But that isn't the thing. I had hoped to wake at 6:00 this morning. Nope. Oddly, I woke at 5:30 to void, feeling pretty good and sure I would wake at 6:00, I wanted that last half hour of sleep. Nope. I didn't wake until 8:00, the alarm still bleating. At first I couldn't get traction. By 8:30 I had enough mojo to get the trash together and out, then took that first group to the curb. But needing to change cat litter I wanted to hurry and get that done. Which I did, and it is out in the bin at the curb. Fine. I am all but sure I beat the garbage truck. But, I wasn't awake by 6:00, or even on task for another two and a half hours. All good.
I'm not sure what to do today. Dishes still languish. There aren't that many, either. Just standing is a chore right now, and has been for a while. As I said, just taking a shower has been a test, and for most of this summer, even when I got ac in. That comes and goes in my life. It is odd, now, to look back on my life with the new medical information and begin to make sense of things. Some of it will never make sense, corrupted and missing memory, the odd reasoning of other people, heck even my doctors knew what my real medical problem was with a high percentage of probability and simply didn't tell me... long ago. At least 12 to 15 years ago, and I am guessing minimally though very possibly the first doctors to review my case knew. It is just that what doctors did for bad hearts back in the day, possibly, they guessed, was worse than what the disease would do? Did they even stop to consider the problems with giving a heart patient a psychiatric diagnosis? The social costs? Still, it worked out, but it could have been a bit more smooth. I will never know, for certain. But just in my life, things that happened or didn't, what I did and couldn't, some things make perfect sense now.
The cats have been fed. Sam was unceremoniously put outside for trying to gag herself into a vomit to get me to feed them. Sassy might be annoying when she isn't fed, Sam just does passive aggressive things that absolutely annoy me. Still, she just wants to go outside anyway, so... win-win for her. Plus she knows even if I tell her I won't feed her every time I pass her outside dealing with trash that, when I am finished with trash... brunch on the patio. Brat. Sassy doesn't like this particular food all that well. Same brand, different texture or flavor than her favorites I suppose. So, she eats a bit, then storms around the house until she realizes I have her on ignore, then goes back and eats a bit more, then does it all over again. An hour after she is out? She begs for more. Hehe. Must be nice to be a cat... or a woman... in some ways. Hey, just... saying...
Well, I should... get to something. Even if something is more of nothing. Good day.
Sunday, September 16, 2012
Definitely bedtime.
.
.
While I stayed up late, again, tonight, I am hoping to wake earlier in the morning. I will, again, set the alarm for 6:00. Sure, it makes trodding through the day a bit dry. I am simply hoping to reduce my sleeping time. Just a little of a struggle. Oh, I know. Pushing like this can break things. I risk losing my day schedule. Yet I cannot help but want to try to... gain some control, dial back the sleep, have more day available. If for no other reason than, as with gun ownership, because I want to. There are other reasons for both, but... that should be enough.
I have chosen my next set of purchases from Amazon. Oh, the purchase is some time off. And they are books that I may never end up even reading, though the hope is there. While looking over speakers for a non-existent if espied and noted stereo receiver, a couple of books came up that I have been considering almost since buying my home. The NEC 2011, Electrical Wiring Residential, and an additional book that looks promising the Ugly's Electrical Reference 2011. *cough* Outlaw receiver, by the way *cough* As I said, there is a chance I will never read these books. But in the off hand I am able to get a techy bug up my bum, I might actually make it through these books, or parts of them. I have some serious concerns about my home, plus an interest in correcting and enhancing a few things, yet can't probably afford the work that really should be done. So... Yes, I have all the time in the world. I simply don't have much more. In a few months, if money is looking good, I may simply hold my financial nose again, add them to my basket, and let the chips fall where they may. They aren't bad to have around though, in any case. For now.
Today has been a bit rough. I did get a shower taken, my teeth have been being cleaned, I am airing out the place, cats have been fed and their litter cleaned, but that is it. Just getting into the shower and doing my standard double hair wash and rinse, double body wash, then hair conditioning and it about took the wind out of my sails. I almost couldn't do it. That weakness just comes and goes. At least when adrenaline gets jacked it is almost like I am 20 again. Yeah, believe it. Don't hit me in the head and think you'll be able to sprint away. Don't test that. Spring steel in here, just... waiting. The thing is that is useless for daily daily, unless my dishes start shooting at me or something. *grins* I have been having a bit of a fever, a little bit of physical rather than psychic dissociation today, like when in pain. I have no pain, so... I am just not sure what is going on. I may take a handful of aspirin on my way to the sack, just in case I simply can't feel consciously what my body is sensing and "treating".
I need to be up, too. I've sort of set myself up. I want the trash out tomorrow, and that means I need to be up before it comes. Actually, with the late bedtime and the need for an early rise, I have set myself up two-fold. Ruh-rho! Usually it arrives later, but you just can't be sure. So... Up and at it is the thing going into my mind as I lay to sleep. Up, at 6:00, go, go, go!
Good night.
.
While I stayed up late, again, tonight, I am hoping to wake earlier in the morning. I will, again, set the alarm for 6:00. Sure, it makes trodding through the day a bit dry. I am simply hoping to reduce my sleeping time. Just a little of a struggle. Oh, I know. Pushing like this can break things. I risk losing my day schedule. Yet I cannot help but want to try to... gain some control, dial back the sleep, have more day available. If for no other reason than, as with gun ownership, because I want to. There are other reasons for both, but... that should be enough.
I have chosen my next set of purchases from Amazon. Oh, the purchase is some time off. And they are books that I may never end up even reading, though the hope is there. While looking over speakers for a non-existent if espied and noted stereo receiver, a couple of books came up that I have been considering almost since buying my home. The NEC 2011, Electrical Wiring Residential, and an additional book that looks promising the Ugly's Electrical Reference 2011. *cough* Outlaw receiver, by the way *cough* As I said, there is a chance I will never read these books. But in the off hand I am able to get a techy bug up my bum, I might actually make it through these books, or parts of them. I have some serious concerns about my home, plus an interest in correcting and enhancing a few things, yet can't probably afford the work that really should be done. So... Yes, I have all the time in the world. I simply don't have much more. In a few months, if money is looking good, I may simply hold my financial nose again, add them to my basket, and let the chips fall where they may. They aren't bad to have around though, in any case. For now.
Today has been a bit rough. I did get a shower taken, my teeth have been being cleaned, I am airing out the place, cats have been fed and their litter cleaned, but that is it. Just getting into the shower and doing my standard double hair wash and rinse, double body wash, then hair conditioning and it about took the wind out of my sails. I almost couldn't do it. That weakness just comes and goes. At least when adrenaline gets jacked it is almost like I am 20 again. Yeah, believe it. Don't hit me in the head and think you'll be able to sprint away. Don't test that. Spring steel in here, just... waiting. The thing is that is useless for daily daily, unless my dishes start shooting at me or something. *grins* I have been having a bit of a fever, a little bit of physical rather than psychic dissociation today, like when in pain. I have no pain, so... I am just not sure what is going on. I may take a handful of aspirin on my way to the sack, just in case I simply can't feel consciously what my body is sensing and "treating".
I need to be up, too. I've sort of set myself up. I want the trash out tomorrow, and that means I need to be up before it comes. Actually, with the late bedtime and the need for an early rise, I have set myself up two-fold. Ruh-rho! Usually it arrives later, but you just can't be sure. So... Up and at it is the thing going into my mind as I lay to sleep. Up, at 6:00, go, go, go!
Good night.
I am not the best debater.
.
.
No, and I don't feel the need. I am not, unlike many, dependent upon what others think therefore I do not need to debate you to the point where you agree with me. I will state my reasons for or against something, listen to your thoughts, and pretty much go on my way. I might, if something seems interesting or preposterous, try to learn more about what you said. But you won't change my mind in a hurry, probably not at all, unless you have the smoking gun, fingerprints, dna, and some witnesses that are credible.
As for organics? Like I said, do it at home. And, sure, can for the winter, which assumes a great deal, including a large enough garden, the knowledge of how to garden in the first place, enough time to work that garden, the time and equipment needed for serious canning projects to go along with the time to properly harvest, and if organic the time and knowledge regarding saving seed plus the specialized manner of gardening knowledge base for "organics" as well. That isn't possible for most people in most places. I doubt if 30% of Americans have that kind of wherewithal. I am certainly left out of that equation.
Still, I was far better than my lady friend at debating. Her tantrums had less to do with me or my beliefs, though, I think, than her need to feel free to express rage safely (with me she was, I sort of got a kick out of it... privately while she was in it mind you). Like I said, I just closed my door (with her on the other side) and got to gaming. She also was doing a man's job, and as a feminist but somehow trying to be honest too, realized she shouldn't have had that job. It absolutely clobbered her on top of that, physically. She went to a more female oriented job but found it unappealing, within her store, so returned to work she shouldn't have been doing. She tried going into a managerial position but realized that leading without being able to do the work was even more hollow. She simply couldn't face that she was, well, female. Even when she saw a 62 year old man, much older than her at the time, doing the work as a second job, beating her like she was standing still at the work, she just wouldn't surrender Stuck. Well, and she rarely slept enough. All those things caused baby to cry, finding whatever she could to point at as the problem. She was my only gal-pal who was ever like that so I am pretty sure it wasn't me.
.
No, and I don't feel the need. I am not, unlike many, dependent upon what others think therefore I do not need to debate you to the point where you agree with me. I will state my reasons for or against something, listen to your thoughts, and pretty much go on my way. I might, if something seems interesting or preposterous, try to learn more about what you said. But you won't change my mind in a hurry, probably not at all, unless you have the smoking gun, fingerprints, dna, and some witnesses that are credible.
As for organics? Like I said, do it at home. And, sure, can for the winter, which assumes a great deal, including a large enough garden, the knowledge of how to garden in the first place, enough time to work that garden, the time and equipment needed for serious canning projects to go along with the time to properly harvest, and if organic the time and knowledge regarding saving seed plus the specialized manner of gardening knowledge base for "organics" as well. That isn't possible for most people in most places. I doubt if 30% of Americans have that kind of wherewithal. I am certainly left out of that equation.
Still, I was far better than my lady friend at debating. Her tantrums had less to do with me or my beliefs, though, I think, than her need to feel free to express rage safely (with me she was, I sort of got a kick out of it... privately while she was in it mind you). Like I said, I just closed my door (with her on the other side) and got to gaming. She also was doing a man's job, and as a feminist but somehow trying to be honest too, realized she shouldn't have had that job. It absolutely clobbered her on top of that, physically. She went to a more female oriented job but found it unappealing, within her store, so returned to work she shouldn't have been doing. She tried going into a managerial position but realized that leading without being able to do the work was even more hollow. She simply couldn't face that she was, well, female. Even when she saw a 62 year old man, much older than her at the time, doing the work as a second job, beating her like she was standing still at the work, she just wouldn't surrender Stuck. Well, and she rarely slept enough. All those things caused baby to cry, finding whatever she could to point at as the problem. She was my only gal-pal who was ever like that so I am pretty sure it wasn't me.
It was a long and messy night?
.
.
Something along those lines. I didn't make it to bed until 21:30. That is the latest I have stayed awake since my day schedule started, if that was not long ago. I again set my alarm for 6:00. Not until a bit after 9:00 could I get out of bed. I reset the alarm each hour, hoping something would shift to favor waking. I dreamed, half dreamed, half woke, and slept. Last night seemed more like being in a drying machine than a bed. And I came out wrinkled!
It has simply been a rough week. The weather change is simply getting to me. My arms, in spite of having lost weight, somehow seem 20 pounds heavier. Even my eyelids have gained a good five pounds per. I am driving through the days, it is a push to simply maintain consciousness. Now, I am not actually having to work at staying awake, I am having to not work. Basically to stay awake, I realize, I have had to cut all non-essential for life actions. While that might not seem like much of a contrast, and in 'normal terms' it isn't, it does limit me as I see things quite a bit. Conservation of brain and muscle power is the ticket. I am hoping, when new games arrive, that I can find something interesting in there to bolster synaptic firing, which might lead to more function. But it looks like the shop is nearly closed for the season?
Never worry. I remembered, if a bit late, about the day lamp. I don't have it arranged yet, but it is on my mind. I can't quite quit trying to square the circle of my life, if there isn't a formula for it quite so keen as there is for the geometric and calculus derived forms... if those are still unnervingly odd. I am writing the book, making the formula, testing this and that. I remember when people wondered why sharks bite everything and having it explained that... biting is the only method sharks have by which to explore their world. I somehow think there is a parallel if I can't quite... put my thumb on it... in my attempts at a bit more life. Having a home, having food coming in, and if I could more steadily get back on medicine, I am and possibly could do even a bit better. I know what I am doing is better than ever before. I don't lose months worth of conscious memory, if I still sit quite idle. I don't feast and fast as a way of life. And I am beginning to conquer my environment, one little problem at a time. I am evening storing foods, equipment, and non-edible consumables for short, mid, and longer term use, just in case.
It just isn't as bad as it has been. Well, and now I know what the real problem is. That gives me some chance at resisting in a logical scientific manner. I have some things under consideration that way, such as supplements, hopefully to go with medicines if I can get that working again. But I will probably never even reach the tipping point where I can have some modicum of a typical sleep pattern, let alone a regular static barebone set of chores per day. I don't know how much heart function that would take, 50%, 70%. But at 20-30%... life just can't scale to that. This I know, cross my heart. But I can do better or worse, and I choose better. Every time.
Have a great Sunday, and if you are a regular, enjoy a bit of Church for me would ya? I miss the 'joint'. *smile* Oh hush, God knows I'm not being (too) informal. I know because He is always pleased to see me when I can visit.
.
Something along those lines. I didn't make it to bed until 21:30. That is the latest I have stayed awake since my day schedule started, if that was not long ago. I again set my alarm for 6:00. Not until a bit after 9:00 could I get out of bed. I reset the alarm each hour, hoping something would shift to favor waking. I dreamed, half dreamed, half woke, and slept. Last night seemed more like being in a drying machine than a bed. And I came out wrinkled!
It has simply been a rough week. The weather change is simply getting to me. My arms, in spite of having lost weight, somehow seem 20 pounds heavier. Even my eyelids have gained a good five pounds per. I am driving through the days, it is a push to simply maintain consciousness. Now, I am not actually having to work at staying awake, I am having to not work. Basically to stay awake, I realize, I have had to cut all non-essential for life actions. While that might not seem like much of a contrast, and in 'normal terms' it isn't, it does limit me as I see things quite a bit. Conservation of brain and muscle power is the ticket. I am hoping, when new games arrive, that I can find something interesting in there to bolster synaptic firing, which might lead to more function. But it looks like the shop is nearly closed for the season?
Never worry. I remembered, if a bit late, about the day lamp. I don't have it arranged yet, but it is on my mind. I can't quite quit trying to square the circle of my life, if there isn't a formula for it quite so keen as there is for the geometric and calculus derived forms... if those are still unnervingly odd. I am writing the book, making the formula, testing this and that. I remember when people wondered why sharks bite everything and having it explained that... biting is the only method sharks have by which to explore their world. I somehow think there is a parallel if I can't quite... put my thumb on it... in my attempts at a bit more life. Having a home, having food coming in, and if I could more steadily get back on medicine, I am and possibly could do even a bit better. I know what I am doing is better than ever before. I don't lose months worth of conscious memory, if I still sit quite idle. I don't feast and fast as a way of life. And I am beginning to conquer my environment, one little problem at a time. I am evening storing foods, equipment, and non-edible consumables for short, mid, and longer term use, just in case.
It just isn't as bad as it has been. Well, and now I know what the real problem is. That gives me some chance at resisting in a logical scientific manner. I have some things under consideration that way, such as supplements, hopefully to go with medicines if I can get that working again. But I will probably never even reach the tipping point where I can have some modicum of a typical sleep pattern, let alone a regular static barebone set of chores per day. I don't know how much heart function that would take, 50%, 70%. But at 20-30%... life just can't scale to that. This I know, cross my heart. But I can do better or worse, and I choose better. Every time.
Have a great Sunday, and if you are a regular, enjoy a bit of Church for me would ya? I miss the 'joint'. *smile* Oh hush, God knows I'm not being (too) informal. I know because He is always pleased to see me when I can visit.
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