.
.
I completed the homework to the best of my ability. If I made mistakes, they were not something an office hours visit might have helped, so I did not seek that. It was a good thing, too, probably, as I had a very difficult time getting out of bed this morning. I barely made it up in time to shower and go to class. Traffic was light if rather irksome, so I did make it well enough on time. The quiz beat me up pretty well though. We had a question from notes back on September 12th. Oddly, I had looked that over last night but not well enough for the process to be functional. The other two questions I should at least have gotten fairly well. At least I was there to take it, and with completed homework.
I thought I might take some time off. As I was doing my usual goofing, however, I decided to do more. So, I pulled out my notes from probability and statistics and began copying them. I have copied two days of notes so far. While copying them, I go ahead and do the problems myself, on a separate piece of paper if necessary (if I make a mistake, I re-write the copy, I am a bit of a stickler, so sometimes it is better to be safe than sorry). I suspect I will get through all of those notes before too long, then do the homework assignments from this most recent set of notes, and look over the quizzes if available. I will also be reading through what is coming up in physics. I will probably do the box example problems, kick some of the new formulas around, and play with some of it. I have a week (and a half if you count two weekends) to get my bearings. Sometimes my plans to study work, sometimes they do not. I will not be leaving until Tuesday and will only stay until Friday, so my visit should not interfere too much with my plans.
I am saddened that I will be leaving school. It is demanding, and when doing well, I generally enjoy that. I am usually frustrated with engineering classes as they honestly mean to make it so you cannot do well. Sometimes what would pass for a C is an A, but then again, sometimes an otherwise A is just a C. It depends on the professor, who else is in the class, and a few other variables. I wish I could say I believe the grading is absolutely even, but that I could not say. Between variances in style, requirements, partial points, or just not getting tests back in some classes, there is no way to know. A student could easily be failed out unfairly, and it probably does happen. As I said, how would I know? I do not think that is my problem at all, but when frustrated, it is an easy poison to grab. If I have an enemy, overt enemy, regarding school, I would say that is in the form of certain aspects of the V.A. They want to hang on to their gimps or something.
I may be looking at a newer model Xterra. Though the one I have is fine, I fear they will be ending production. Corporate planning can be highly impacted by temporary and intense situations, like the recent fuel debacle and credit crunch. I fear that those things may create a trend toward cars of little value, if they are cheap on gas. As well, with zero interest and the deals they are offering, I might actually step into a better deal than what I have. I will poke around, due to an invitation, but I am not holding my breath on that. If it costs a plug nickel, to be honest, I will not do the deal.
I would also like to begin packing things. I am, through time, cleaning out and disposing of stuff. The first order of clearing will certainly not be the last, there will probably end up being several evaluations. I plan on taking some of my weights to my Mom’s house while I am heading that way. There are a few other things which might find there way along with me as well. My vehicle is only rated at slightly over 900 pounds, interior, so I have to think about that as well. I am a bit worried about moving in with her. She seems a bit intent on money. I may, instead, just find a very inexpensive boarding house or even stay at the Y somewhere, taking only old clothes and little else, while I try to save, should she become too greedy or too demanding. I have a pretty good idea about what is fair and I have offered more than that. I hate that, but I am not going to pay her rent and utilities while I am there, especially knowing I will barely have a room. (I plan to buy her a laptop so she has no reason to enter my room… if this works out). I will find out more this visit. I will negotiate a very little, I really am not made to negotiate.
I think I will tinker a bit more on the machine and then do a page or two more of notes. Have a good night and weekend.
Friday, November 21, 2008
Thursday, November 20, 2008
I fiddled…
...
while there was work to do.
.
.
I took yesterday off, after the test and my second class. I arrived home just in time for the furnace repair man and my landlord to arrive. This is a duplex and they decided to check both furnaces while they were here, starting with the other apartment. My landlord was as surprised I was home as I was that they were still here, or more just arriving at my place technically. With the furnace working it was difficult for the technician to diagnose a problem. He did give me some idea of what to listen for and showed me where some problem leds where, which I could also check in such a situation. He did some maintenance, cleaning a particular part and checking several others. Still, nothing seemed out of the ordinary making it more of a general check-up.
Then my landlord began working on a kitchen drawer which had become dysfunctional. I had purchased the piece to repair it but I had not gotten around to it. It seemed that it would be really tight work for my big hands and arms as well as my general inability to do more than just barely keep up with what I need to do for school, home, business, and such. He had thought it would be a quick job. I knew better. He was here for a good 3 to 4 hours tinkering with that. He did get it done and did a good job. I offered technical help, occasionally. Sometimes it may have been helpful, sometimes he already knew, but I was not mistaken and did not lead him astray, but mostly I just let him tinker unless he asked for help of some sort or other. Generally, he did not ask for technical help. I only offered it when he kept doing the wrong thing, the wrong way, or made a mistake he had not considered (adding washers to a screw to make it go through the drawer less also added to the length of the screw head which would disable the ability of the device to roll along the track, for example). He still tried it and it still failed, I was just saying. And, I did have some tools which helped the process, my smaller bolt cutters, Dremel, and a few parts (like the washers he insisted on trying, and again after I had suggested he take them off and he did, only to put them back on when I had drifted away… men :P and yeah, I am like that too when I am the worker and not the technical adviser). Anyway, he got the thing done, we had a decent afternoon of occasional chat, and then he headed out.
So, being that it was late, I was exhausted from the test and from the company (having people in my home makes me tired somehow), and just because I felt like it, I took the rest of the day off. Well, I take that back. I needed to do homework for probabilities and statistics. One component of that called for the use of software at the University. I had gotten that to work once through my home computer connected through the internet, then I could not get it to work the next time I tried, so I was not sure I could do it from home. And I was nervous about the work, both technically and then the actual problem(s). So, between tinkering and plunking around the thing, I got to a point where I could explore. It all went so smoothly, once I figured a few things out, and the work was easy, so I just did it. That is the kind of work I like to do. But, I was very nervous about the rest of the homework! It really is somewhat complex, if I have an idea about what we are doing, and a good one, actually doing the work seemed too daunting. I planned on waking up this morning and getting right on it! Urhm, yeah, about that…
After tinkering, messing around, looking at the stupidifier (television, on), eating, then back to tinkering and messing around, it was about time for my nurse to visit (she is back). My weight is down, my blood pressure is pretty darn good (136/85 or so), my blood sugar was up (to 150), and my temp was up (to 97.6, a degree and change high for me). And, of course, we talked. I do not know if she really likes talking or if this is information they somehow use for research or to keep general tabs. I can just see it, “Client # likes beer, rich food, and talking.”, “Client # thinks the V.A. is out to ruin his college career, believes they have given him a placebo, and asked me if I might be involved.”, etc. I really am not worried, I say what I think and pretty much think what I say. I have trimmed what I think, for the very large part, to what can be said. You get here what anyone else gets, for the most part. Anyway, that took me to lunch. And, anyone knows, you cannot work right after eating a meal!
At 20:00, I finally decided to begin trying to do something. But there was one formula on one page (and only given on one page of notes) which I could not find! I sorted, shuffled, searched, and stacked. I went through my file, my back pack, and other papers which might have been near where I had been working. Nothing and I was just about nauseous about it. I looked in the book, but how the book presented it, if that was even the correct formula, was a little too Greek. I thought it might have gotten into my physics notes, so I did the same there. No luck, so I straightened and organized that and put it away again. I went back through everything from probability and statistics, and found it after the second go around. I am not sure when, or if it was set aside the whole time, but I finally found it off to the side. I did the first two problems, and was initially stymied. I just could not get it to work. Back to the notes, and I reread a number of things. Ah, I was using the standard deviation from the problem before and the intended significance level for the other problem I needed to do. I whipped it out, rightly, in no time, once I used the correct data. I just assume I was still a bit wired from searching for that one page (which I still have not needed, and may end up not needing at all, as they have been giving us that information rather than having us work it, so far, arghhhhh!).
I still have a good deal of work to do. I am probably ¼ of the way through, though more like 1/3 the way through if you consider the computer lab component into the equation. And, I feel quite confident I will get it done and right, mostly. But I had to just break down and shove to even get started. Then with the frustration of losing that page, I was not sure. I have been doing poorly on homework, if I even attend on Fridays to hand it in for fear of the quizzes. I have 3 or 4 homeworks not handed in, and with that of course, 3 or 4 quizzes which will be 0’s. Those were from when I was falling. I may ask him if there is something I could do to ensure I do not fail. I cannot ask for exceptional offers, but if doing some projects would keep me from failing if that is the case, then I would do so. Since and before my illness, I made it a rule to be there, with what I have (and to have it done as well as possible). And, I am doing it. This time though, it was just very hard to get started, harder than usual. More work remains, I should stop fiddling.
Oh, no physics tomorrow, so if I need to speak to him about a problem, I will have an hour after office hours to finish. Assuming I can awaken in time for office hours after staying up to do the homework. But the house is warm, I am back on track with this material, I finished my physics test (and studying for that) as well as I honestly could, and I am set to have next week off for Thanksgiving (they give us the whole week now!). I would like to go over some of this material, prep for physics a bit, and enjoy a good meal or two. I will be visiting my Mother and other family and friends in that area. She already has me lined up to do some work, but that is fine. It pleases her so much and it gets her little nest a bit more to her particular liking. It is nice to be the good son, once in a while, now.
I am off and at it again!
while there was work to do.
.
.
I took yesterday off, after the test and my second class. I arrived home just in time for the furnace repair man and my landlord to arrive. This is a duplex and they decided to check both furnaces while they were here, starting with the other apartment. My landlord was as surprised I was home as I was that they were still here, or more just arriving at my place technically. With the furnace working it was difficult for the technician to diagnose a problem. He did give me some idea of what to listen for and showed me where some problem leds where, which I could also check in such a situation. He did some maintenance, cleaning a particular part and checking several others. Still, nothing seemed out of the ordinary making it more of a general check-up.
Then my landlord began working on a kitchen drawer which had become dysfunctional. I had purchased the piece to repair it but I had not gotten around to it. It seemed that it would be really tight work for my big hands and arms as well as my general inability to do more than just barely keep up with what I need to do for school, home, business, and such. He had thought it would be a quick job. I knew better. He was here for a good 3 to 4 hours tinkering with that. He did get it done and did a good job. I offered technical help, occasionally. Sometimes it may have been helpful, sometimes he already knew, but I was not mistaken and did not lead him astray, but mostly I just let him tinker unless he asked for help of some sort or other. Generally, he did not ask for technical help. I only offered it when he kept doing the wrong thing, the wrong way, or made a mistake he had not considered (adding washers to a screw to make it go through the drawer less also added to the length of the screw head which would disable the ability of the device to roll along the track, for example). He still tried it and it still failed, I was just saying. And, I did have some tools which helped the process, my smaller bolt cutters, Dremel, and a few parts (like the washers he insisted on trying, and again after I had suggested he take them off and he did, only to put them back on when I had drifted away… men :P and yeah, I am like that too when I am the worker and not the technical adviser). Anyway, he got the thing done, we had a decent afternoon of occasional chat, and then he headed out.
So, being that it was late, I was exhausted from the test and from the company (having people in my home makes me tired somehow), and just because I felt like it, I took the rest of the day off. Well, I take that back. I needed to do homework for probabilities and statistics. One component of that called for the use of software at the University. I had gotten that to work once through my home computer connected through the internet, then I could not get it to work the next time I tried, so I was not sure I could do it from home. And I was nervous about the work, both technically and then the actual problem(s). So, between tinkering and plunking around the thing, I got to a point where I could explore. It all went so smoothly, once I figured a few things out, and the work was easy, so I just did it. That is the kind of work I like to do. But, I was very nervous about the rest of the homework! It really is somewhat complex, if I have an idea about what we are doing, and a good one, actually doing the work seemed too daunting. I planned on waking up this morning and getting right on it! Urhm, yeah, about that…
After tinkering, messing around, looking at the stupidifier (television, on), eating, then back to tinkering and messing around, it was about time for my nurse to visit (she is back). My weight is down, my blood pressure is pretty darn good (136/85 or so), my blood sugar was up (to 150), and my temp was up (to 97.6, a degree and change high for me). And, of course, we talked. I do not know if she really likes talking or if this is information they somehow use for research or to keep general tabs. I can just see it, “Client # likes beer, rich food, and talking.”, “Client # thinks the V.A. is out to ruin his college career, believes they have given him a placebo, and asked me if I might be involved.”, etc. I really am not worried, I say what I think and pretty much think what I say. I have trimmed what I think, for the very large part, to what can be said. You get here what anyone else gets, for the most part. Anyway, that took me to lunch. And, anyone knows, you cannot work right after eating a meal!
At 20:00, I finally decided to begin trying to do something. But there was one formula on one page (and only given on one page of notes) which I could not find! I sorted, shuffled, searched, and stacked. I went through my file, my back pack, and other papers which might have been near where I had been working. Nothing and I was just about nauseous about it. I looked in the book, but how the book presented it, if that was even the correct formula, was a little too Greek. I thought it might have gotten into my physics notes, so I did the same there. No luck, so I straightened and organized that and put it away again. I went back through everything from probability and statistics, and found it after the second go around. I am not sure when, or if it was set aside the whole time, but I finally found it off to the side. I did the first two problems, and was initially stymied. I just could not get it to work. Back to the notes, and I reread a number of things. Ah, I was using the standard deviation from the problem before and the intended significance level for the other problem I needed to do. I whipped it out, rightly, in no time, once I used the correct data. I just assume I was still a bit wired from searching for that one page (which I still have not needed, and may end up not needing at all, as they have been giving us that information rather than having us work it, so far, arghhhhh!).
I still have a good deal of work to do. I am probably ¼ of the way through, though more like 1/3 the way through if you consider the computer lab component into the equation. And, I feel quite confident I will get it done and right, mostly. But I had to just break down and shove to even get started. Then with the frustration of losing that page, I was not sure. I have been doing poorly on homework, if I even attend on Fridays to hand it in for fear of the quizzes. I have 3 or 4 homeworks not handed in, and with that of course, 3 or 4 quizzes which will be 0’s. Those were from when I was falling. I may ask him if there is something I could do to ensure I do not fail. I cannot ask for exceptional offers, but if doing some projects would keep me from failing if that is the case, then I would do so. Since and before my illness, I made it a rule to be there, with what I have (and to have it done as well as possible). And, I am doing it. This time though, it was just very hard to get started, harder than usual. More work remains, I should stop fiddling.
Oh, no physics tomorrow, so if I need to speak to him about a problem, I will have an hour after office hours to finish. Assuming I can awaken in time for office hours after staying up to do the homework. But the house is warm, I am back on track with this material, I finished my physics test (and studying for that) as well as I honestly could, and I am set to have next week off for Thanksgiving (they give us the whole week now!). I would like to go over some of this material, prep for physics a bit, and enjoy a good meal or two. I will be visiting my Mother and other family and friends in that area. She already has me lined up to do some work, but that is fine. It pleases her so much and it gets her little nest a bit more to her particular liking. It is nice to be the good son, once in a while, now.
I am off and at it again!
Tuesday, November 18, 2008
Physics test tomorrow.
.
.
It is still cold in the cave but that is as it is. Study has been going pretty well for the last few days. I have done all of the work at least once, the last few chapters were available just this week so I have only done the work once. The rest of the work has been worked twice already. I have two units left to cover, the last two. We will be testing over 5 units of material and it is material with which I am only partially familiar. The knees ache, actually, from sitting in the only place I have to study. The couch is too low for me but there is no better place. Something would be sore no matter where I studied I think. That much time sitting in any place will cramp some part of the body. It is the price needed. I just hope I can keep enough of this stuff available when the time comes.
I cannot wait for heat tomorrow, hopefully! Though I will be in a test, my landlord indicated that he would be here to let the furnace man in. It has been a frigid week or so. Though I like the cold, I really need to be able to warm up from time to time. A shower helps, but is very short lived and there is that little curve of naked, to wet, to finally warm, to overcome. Waking has also been difficult. I tried using the oven to heat the place but that does no real good oddly. The best bet I have found is having the computer on, me dressed and working, and having the TV on. The TV cannot be on, as even on mute, the pictures suck out my brains. Stupid vile thing, I should give it to her sooner rather than later. So, to study, I have to do without one of my heaters. I think the cold adds to the aches.
I have been missing things, church events, doctors appointments, and such. I call when it is an actual appointment, but otherwise I am just absent. I have also been very sluggish. I think it is partly due to the cold, mostly I am hoping. I have been trying to wake earlier, but I have had little luck with that. It is too cold to just hop out and get going. At least the medicine seems to be working. My blood sugar is down to a respectable 125 fasting and dropping from previous readings. I am not sure about the blood pressure. I have a monitor but I am not sure when the best time to check it is and I have been too busy anyway.
I will be heading to my Mother’s house for Thanksgiving. I need to do something before I go, though there may be time to do it there if I run out of time here. She is not celebrating on Thursday, instead preparations are set for a feast on the Friday. I had hoped not to stay past Thursday but a good meal might be too tempting to pass up. As well, the company is quite good there. I do miss good company, being an old guy on campus. Beer parties and even the typical nature of the young can be a bit daunting or uncomfortable or too much for me. Yes, I am a grumpy old man. But then I sort of like that. I have earned it. There is occasional adult company, just not enough.
Back to studies. It is getting late and I already have a difficult time waking! Goodnight.
.
It is still cold in the cave but that is as it is. Study has been going pretty well for the last few days. I have done all of the work at least once, the last few chapters were available just this week so I have only done the work once. The rest of the work has been worked twice already. I have two units left to cover, the last two. We will be testing over 5 units of material and it is material with which I am only partially familiar. The knees ache, actually, from sitting in the only place I have to study. The couch is too low for me but there is no better place. Something would be sore no matter where I studied I think. That much time sitting in any place will cramp some part of the body. It is the price needed. I just hope I can keep enough of this stuff available when the time comes.
I cannot wait for heat tomorrow, hopefully! Though I will be in a test, my landlord indicated that he would be here to let the furnace man in. It has been a frigid week or so. Though I like the cold, I really need to be able to warm up from time to time. A shower helps, but is very short lived and there is that little curve of naked, to wet, to finally warm, to overcome. Waking has also been difficult. I tried using the oven to heat the place but that does no real good oddly. The best bet I have found is having the computer on, me dressed and working, and having the TV on. The TV cannot be on, as even on mute, the pictures suck out my brains. Stupid vile thing, I should give it to her sooner rather than later. So, to study, I have to do without one of my heaters. I think the cold adds to the aches.
I have been missing things, church events, doctors appointments, and such. I call when it is an actual appointment, but otherwise I am just absent. I have also been very sluggish. I think it is partly due to the cold, mostly I am hoping. I have been trying to wake earlier, but I have had little luck with that. It is too cold to just hop out and get going. At least the medicine seems to be working. My blood sugar is down to a respectable 125 fasting and dropping from previous readings. I am not sure about the blood pressure. I have a monitor but I am not sure when the best time to check it is and I have been too busy anyway.
I will be heading to my Mother’s house for Thanksgiving. I need to do something before I go, though there may be time to do it there if I run out of time here. She is not celebrating on Thursday, instead preparations are set for a feast on the Friday. I had hoped not to stay past Thursday but a good meal might be too tempting to pass up. As well, the company is quite good there. I do miss good company, being an old guy on campus. Beer parties and even the typical nature of the young can be a bit daunting or uncomfortable or too much for me. Yes, I am a grumpy old man. But then I sort of like that. I have earned it. There is occasional adult company, just not enough.
Back to studies. It is getting late and I already have a difficult time waking! Goodnight.
Monday, November 17, 2008
I can be a foolish man.
.
.
My body seems to be in better order than to this point. A week of illness, a bit of drunkenness, and a really cold house, have left me behind some eightballs. It would be really easy to just call it all off, toss out the baby with the bathwater, and head for the nearest hiking trail and keep going. That is not how I work. So, I have made some phone calls, sent a few emails, and continue to work through the difficulties. Failure is an option, quitting is not. An apology was given for some very unwise and unkind words. That is all I can do there, though in the future I should rethink some things. The truth is though that I will be foolish until I rest in final peace, and knowing me, I may find means of being foolish then! I called my landlord and we arranged a time to get the furnace fixed. I was contacted by the V.A. and we have finally made arrangements to deal with the new doctor, medicines, lab needs, and records. And I have started studying again, finally able to do so.
My lady friend came by yesterday. I was still too ill, really, to study. So, she did her laundry, had some food, and watched several movies. She is a big fan of the Lord of the Rings series, so we watched the first two. Thankfully, she came over a little after 14:00. I had just awaken and was still sore from the food the day before. My head was still swimming from the drink, along with a headache. Those seem to be different but slightly related. I had not consumed that much alcohol, however, I have been abstaining almost completely since my life took a dip and as I have been trying to dig my way out. I suppose I became an extreme lightweight, more than ever before that I can remember. Still, I did have a little feast day and enjoyed, I suppose there is sometimes a price for such. She picked up the leg of lamb, which she wished to cook at the cost of splitting. She will be bringing it by tomorrow morning.
What does a man do with his unwise nature? Can he ever leave it behind for good? Why is it such a powerful thing? In any case, I have learned that it exists and that it always will. Given a choice between this and that, 99.999 percent of the time I will pick what is correct in truth (ok, the number is artificially high and ignorance also plays a role, but this is an example). That 0.001 percent of the time, however, I really mess up. I toss grenades at friends, kick my favorite dog for no reason, or kiss the wrong girl. Well, if those are exaggerations the point is made. What, then, am I to do? Some things cannot be corrected. Words written or spoken, deeds done, or other guilt inspiring actions or thoughts cannot be forgotten even if no one else (save God) knows. What I must do is apologize, offer material repair where necessary, and spend some real time considering my sins. Beyond, from my faith, there is a method of giving these up while seeking ultimate forgiveness. Even if all goes well, however, I am left with the simple fact that I am flawed.
I suppose you were hoping for a better answer or a Hollywood ending. I feel that if I wrote such a thing that I would be leading you astray. Believing in ourselves beyond our means of fulfilling that belief leads to real hard times. Belief in any man leads to disaster, the more people involved and the greater the belief of those people, the greater the destruction. Anything else is a Hollywood ending. Look to Hollywood, the stars and starlettes, rock stars, and studio executives to see the truth of that way of thinking. If that is how you wish to lead your life, as so many do, then I suppose that is the way to go. For me I think I will just try to remain humble. As much as that hurts, there are advantages. I hope you can find those advantages and the pleasure of living true… fools. :p
.
My body seems to be in better order than to this point. A week of illness, a bit of drunkenness, and a really cold house, have left me behind some eightballs. It would be really easy to just call it all off, toss out the baby with the bathwater, and head for the nearest hiking trail and keep going. That is not how I work. So, I have made some phone calls, sent a few emails, and continue to work through the difficulties. Failure is an option, quitting is not. An apology was given for some very unwise and unkind words. That is all I can do there, though in the future I should rethink some things. The truth is though that I will be foolish until I rest in final peace, and knowing me, I may find means of being foolish then! I called my landlord and we arranged a time to get the furnace fixed. I was contacted by the V.A. and we have finally made arrangements to deal with the new doctor, medicines, lab needs, and records. And I have started studying again, finally able to do so.
My lady friend came by yesterday. I was still too ill, really, to study. So, she did her laundry, had some food, and watched several movies. She is a big fan of the Lord of the Rings series, so we watched the first two. Thankfully, she came over a little after 14:00. I had just awaken and was still sore from the food the day before. My head was still swimming from the drink, along with a headache. Those seem to be different but slightly related. I had not consumed that much alcohol, however, I have been abstaining almost completely since my life took a dip and as I have been trying to dig my way out. I suppose I became an extreme lightweight, more than ever before that I can remember. Still, I did have a little feast day and enjoyed, I suppose there is sometimes a price for such. She picked up the leg of lamb, which she wished to cook at the cost of splitting. She will be bringing it by tomorrow morning.
What does a man do with his unwise nature? Can he ever leave it behind for good? Why is it such a powerful thing? In any case, I have learned that it exists and that it always will. Given a choice between this and that, 99.999 percent of the time I will pick what is correct in truth (ok, the number is artificially high and ignorance also plays a role, but this is an example). That 0.001 percent of the time, however, I really mess up. I toss grenades at friends, kick my favorite dog for no reason, or kiss the wrong girl. Well, if those are exaggerations the point is made. What, then, am I to do? Some things cannot be corrected. Words written or spoken, deeds done, or other guilt inspiring actions or thoughts cannot be forgotten even if no one else (save God) knows. What I must do is apologize, offer material repair where necessary, and spend some real time considering my sins. Beyond, from my faith, there is a method of giving these up while seeking ultimate forgiveness. Even if all goes well, however, I am left with the simple fact that I am flawed.
I suppose you were hoping for a better answer or a Hollywood ending. I feel that if I wrote such a thing that I would be leading you astray. Believing in ourselves beyond our means of fulfilling that belief leads to real hard times. Belief in any man leads to disaster, the more people involved and the greater the belief of those people, the greater the destruction. Anything else is a Hollywood ending. Look to Hollywood, the stars and starlettes, rock stars, and studio executives to see the truth of that way of thinking. If that is how you wish to lead your life, as so many do, then I suppose that is the way to go. For me I think I will just try to remain humble. As much as that hurts, there are advantages. I hope you can find those advantages and the pleasure of living true… fools. :p
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