.
.
With starting back on the highest dose of the most potent of my heart medication I expected... hmm... less. While I have been hollow to the bone lately, unable to clean, play games, or even watch programs for more than fifteen minutes to an half hour at a time, there is worse. Forgetting I even exist. You have... no idea. For hours, days, weeks, months, even a year at a time.
I... expected that today. I was pleasantly surprised. I wasn't able to work, but I was able to watch shows and game. Rather than drifting through the web, blindly following strange paths, I was able to look around, find things that interested me, watch several episodes (of Babylon 5) at a time, and game well, even past a major setback.
I am hoping to clear litter, get a shower and shave in, if not much more. Trash, perhaps recycling as well, tomorrow. Dishes as well, unless the meds blindside me. Not much, just a bit. I may also see about some laundry. It is possible, if tomorrow is anything like today.
Blood sugar is back in trim. It started out higher at 176, then to 186 after food and a higher dose. Then 94 after my last meal and a smaller dose. I was in part experimenting, in part going with my gut, on that last dose. It is at 125 several hours after my last meal and dose. Finally, it is improving. So strange how high it will stay after a minor mistake. Though I haven't been punished this severely for such a minor infraction... ever. Yeah, well...
A bit of a headache, so a fistful of aspirin. I don't want to struggle sleeping tonight. Still... pleased with the day. I have some hope for tomorrow. I finally called my mother. Will try to call my brother Monday. I'm not the best, I have been messing up calling my mother as well. I'll... keep at it. Good night, probably.
Saturday, September 14, 2019
Improvements.
.
.
Aches and pains have gone. For the first morning in... weeks? a month? I am waking without sore ribs, an achy back, and other complaints. A few days ago, I pulled a foot stool out, and have been using it. From the use of it, I have been adjusting how I sit from time to time. Perhaps that is it?
It was 66° upstairs all night. I check when I wake. It was 67° this morning, downstairs in the main, 64° up front. Outside it is 41°. An all around pleasant morning, as I chart things. I don't need a long sleeve t, or pj bottoms, to sleep. And just one blanket still. However, I will set the other blankets up, in case a real chill slips in. I do need more on in the day. I am working on layering.
Blood sugar, while a bit high after a few experimental and poor food choices, is within my normal. At 176 fasting, down from as high as 326 two days ago. It... doesn't matter what packaging says. A hint though? If something tastes suspiciously sweet? Stop eating right there. I have to suspect the FDA and Ag are in on allowing lies.
What I don't get is why Orientals don't have diabetes. The Chinese, Japanese, Koreans, and the rest, consume the majority of their foods as rice. White rice at that. Some suggest it is due to the smaller volumes consumed. But that doesn't make sense. They are smaller people.
From what I have seen, they eat a similar caloric intake by body weight, save NorKs, though all of their calories are rice. Then again, perhaps they simply don't treat, so count, certain afflictions? When the government is in charge of medical care, it decides who, and what, to treat... and asses. Perhaps diabetes is considered a personal problem?
Anyway. It seems a better day. That... may not last. I didn't have enough 6.25 mg carvedilol tabs. So I went full dose early. I will be hitting full dose this morning. Will see. Perhaps the nosebleed, sometimes literally, dose I am already on will make this addition less of a stress. Later.
.
Aches and pains have gone. For the first morning in... weeks? a month? I am waking without sore ribs, an achy back, and other complaints. A few days ago, I pulled a foot stool out, and have been using it. From the use of it, I have been adjusting how I sit from time to time. Perhaps that is it?
It was 66° upstairs all night. I check when I wake. It was 67° this morning, downstairs in the main, 64° up front. Outside it is 41°. An all around pleasant morning, as I chart things. I don't need a long sleeve t, or pj bottoms, to sleep. And just one blanket still. However, I will set the other blankets up, in case a real chill slips in. I do need more on in the day. I am working on layering.
Blood sugar, while a bit high after a few experimental and poor food choices, is within my normal. At 176 fasting, down from as high as 326 two days ago. It... doesn't matter what packaging says. A hint though? If something tastes suspiciously sweet? Stop eating right there. I have to suspect the FDA and Ag are in on allowing lies.
What I don't get is why Orientals don't have diabetes. The Chinese, Japanese, Koreans, and the rest, consume the majority of their foods as rice. White rice at that. Some suggest it is due to the smaller volumes consumed. But that doesn't make sense. They are smaller people.
From what I have seen, they eat a similar caloric intake by body weight, save NorKs, though all of their calories are rice. Then again, perhaps they simply don't treat, so count, certain afflictions? When the government is in charge of medical care, it decides who, and what, to treat... and asses. Perhaps diabetes is considered a personal problem?
Anyway. It seems a better day. That... may not last. I didn't have enough 6.25 mg carvedilol tabs. So I went full dose early. I will be hitting full dose this morning. Will see. Perhaps the nosebleed, sometimes literally, dose I am already on will make this addition less of a stress. Later.
Friday, September 13, 2019
A tough week.
.
.
I keep hoping for improvement. Always tired, usually sore. Blood sugar has gone crazy. I ate a few things of a questionable nature, if technically within carb count, labelled as having no sugar. Can't believe labels. I am lowering it, slowly. In a few days I will begin checking blood pressure. If it is pretty stable but higher, I will stop checking until a week or two into the last dose increase.
It was down to 64° upstairs, five feet from me, 66° close to me, with only an interior fan going. With long and short sleeve t's as a pj top, in unders, one blanket was perfect. It is a warmer blanket, and still, that one was enough was good. I did add a quilt later, just for a bit. Sleep was actually quite good. It was as good as it gets.
As I came downstairs, I found the furnace running. It is set for 66°. I was surprised it wasn't running yesterday, so I can't say I was surprised. I will leave it at 66° until the outside is dangerous, to me. Then I like more of a store of warmth inside in case the furnace goes out. Then, 70° to 72°, in the main. It will be a lot cooler elsewhere.
I went to let the ducks out. They were already out. I am almost certain I put them away last night? At first I couldn't find them. Then it looked as if only three were there. The fourth appeared and all was good. I didn't do much else, but their feed has been shielded, placed in a barrel with a lid. Plastic for now. Mice had figured how to get into open bins. Quite a jump, both in and out, but they did it.
A nap, I do believe. Later.
.
I keep hoping for improvement. Always tired, usually sore. Blood sugar has gone crazy. I ate a few things of a questionable nature, if technically within carb count, labelled as having no sugar. Can't believe labels. I am lowering it, slowly. In a few days I will begin checking blood pressure. If it is pretty stable but higher, I will stop checking until a week or two into the last dose increase.
It was down to 64° upstairs, five feet from me, 66° close to me, with only an interior fan going. With long and short sleeve t's as a pj top, in unders, one blanket was perfect. It is a warmer blanket, and still, that one was enough was good. I did add a quilt later, just for a bit. Sleep was actually quite good. It was as good as it gets.
As I came downstairs, I found the furnace running. It is set for 66°. I was surprised it wasn't running yesterday, so I can't say I was surprised. I will leave it at 66° until the outside is dangerous, to me. Then I like more of a store of warmth inside in case the furnace goes out. Then, 70° to 72°, in the main. It will be a lot cooler elsewhere.
I went to let the ducks out. They were already out. I am almost certain I put them away last night? At first I couldn't find them. Then it looked as if only three were there. The fourth appeared and all was good. I didn't do much else, but their feed has been shielded, placed in a barrel with a lid. Plastic for now. Mice had figured how to get into open bins. Quite a jump, both in and out, but they did it.
A nap, I do believe. Later.
Thursday, September 12, 2019
A deal has been struck.
.
.
I was dithering as to whether to increase medicine or not. I have decided to hold that off for two more weeks. While I am not working even every other day, necessarily, I am working two days a week, slightly more as little tasks are done randomly, as possible. Given the weather, medicine, and crazy diabetes numbers, I am doing what I can.
It was down to 64° this morning, upstairs. I had an interior fan and, again an ac fan, on through the night. Fresh air and the cool temps made for superior sleep. I must be acclimating to the cool swiftly, as a t, unders, and one blanket was quite warm enough. I had to kick out of the blanket occasionally, only to need to bundle back in later. So is the lot of a furless bear.
I slept many hours, again. I think yesterday wore me out, more than anything. I am hoping to do some work today. A few small loads of dishes, folding some clothes, an setting up a new feed barrel, with a lid. It is cool, around 50° around 9:00, an hour and change ago, outside. It is 68° in the main, 63° up front. What I consider the beginning of clothes weather... socks, real shoes, and pants anyway.
Ugh. Not moving fast. A nap before work, probably. Later.
.
I was dithering as to whether to increase medicine or not. I have decided to hold that off for two more weeks. While I am not working even every other day, necessarily, I am working two days a week, slightly more as little tasks are done randomly, as possible. Given the weather, medicine, and crazy diabetes numbers, I am doing what I can.
It was down to 64° this morning, upstairs. I had an interior fan and, again an ac fan, on through the night. Fresh air and the cool temps made for superior sleep. I must be acclimating to the cool swiftly, as a t, unders, and one blanket was quite warm enough. I had to kick out of the blanket occasionally, only to need to bundle back in later. So is the lot of a furless bear.
I slept many hours, again. I think yesterday wore me out, more than anything. I am hoping to do some work today. A few small loads of dishes, folding some clothes, an setting up a new feed barrel, with a lid. It is cool, around 50° around 9:00, an hour and change ago, outside. It is 68° in the main, 63° up front. What I consider the beginning of clothes weather... socks, real shoes, and pants anyway.
Ugh. Not moving fast. A nap before work, probably. Later.
Wednesday, September 11, 2019
It is taking weeks to tend moments.
.
.
Most of what is required is finished. If I owe you contact, money, or else, you are on the list. I took three items off my list today, a few Monday, and I might two or three more Friday or next Monday. That is as fast as I can honestly go. Even with the shower open, it takes days to remember, focus, then get in. I dearly want daily showers.
I set up an automatic payment on the car, returned a few packages, and did light shopping. Hopefully I can begin working in the house soon. Cleaning. I still have business in town, registration. Perhaps window shopping. Reloading supplies, low carb foods I am hoping to find locally... buying locally if possible now that my needs are better known. Hmm, the hardware store in Smithfield too. Just... looking.
It is staying right at 70° downstairs, day and night, 68° upstairs. One fan in both areas. Blood sugar is running really high. I did receive fresh, and hit it after... cutting everything for a while. Too much, too little, is the sweetener dehydrating just enough just now to overdo? Bleh. So exhausted it is difficult to sort.
I have been eating lightly, and very keto. I'll keep at it. The other medicine is going down precisely. If I can work in the house, I will keep it at this level. If not, I will add the last increase Friday. Boy, I'm sure hoping to work. I really don't want to increase quite yet. If part of my failing is clouds and rain, pleasant as those are. Later.
.
Most of what is required is finished. If I owe you contact, money, or else, you are on the list. I took three items off my list today, a few Monday, and I might two or three more Friday or next Monday. That is as fast as I can honestly go. Even with the shower open, it takes days to remember, focus, then get in. I dearly want daily showers.
I set up an automatic payment on the car, returned a few packages, and did light shopping. Hopefully I can begin working in the house soon. Cleaning. I still have business in town, registration. Perhaps window shopping. Reloading supplies, low carb foods I am hoping to find locally... buying locally if possible now that my needs are better known. Hmm, the hardware store in Smithfield too. Just... looking.
It is staying right at 70° downstairs, day and night, 68° upstairs. One fan in both areas. Blood sugar is running really high. I did receive fresh, and hit it after... cutting everything for a while. Too much, too little, is the sweetener dehydrating just enough just now to overdo? Bleh. So exhausted it is difficult to sort.
I have been eating lightly, and very keto. I'll keep at it. The other medicine is going down precisely. If I can work in the house, I will keep it at this level. If not, I will add the last increase Friday. Boy, I'm sure hoping to work. I really don't want to increase quite yet. If part of my failing is clouds and rain, pleasant as those are. Later.
Tuesday, September 10, 2019
A long wonderful sleep.
.
.
I don't remember what time I went to sleep. I am guessing slightly after 19:00. As exhausted as I was, sleep wasn't immediate. Though it wasn't a struggle either. A gentle drift down, as pleasant as a slow sleep gets. I woke, solidly, a number of times. Returning to sleep wasn't extremely easy, merely manageable. Four, perhaps five, such wakings.
Heat was billowing off me. All night and this morning. Putting my arm out full length, bending my hand so my palm faced my body, I could feel waves of heat. Not a great heat, a strong warmth. I had an interior fan and the fan function on my better ac blowing in. It was 68° up there this morning. I was a bit warm all night, which is why I woke, I believe. I slept until just after 7:00. Probably sleeping so long because of the many interruptions.
It was 67° main and 64° front, 48° outside. But not a cold 48°. I was in a sleeveless t, with shorts and open band (rather than toe-post) flip-flops and was as comfortable as the ducks out there. Still kicking off heat? Probably. Very strangely, blood sugar was 211 this morning.
It is almost 9:00 and temps remain the same. The girls and ducks have been fed, a roast is being grilled, and a shower is planned. Then work? I sure hope so. Later.
.
I don't remember what time I went to sleep. I am guessing slightly after 19:00. As exhausted as I was, sleep wasn't immediate. Though it wasn't a struggle either. A gentle drift down, as pleasant as a slow sleep gets. I woke, solidly, a number of times. Returning to sleep wasn't extremely easy, merely manageable. Four, perhaps five, such wakings.
Heat was billowing off me. All night and this morning. Putting my arm out full length, bending my hand so my palm faced my body, I could feel waves of heat. Not a great heat, a strong warmth. I had an interior fan and the fan function on my better ac blowing in. It was 68° up there this morning. I was a bit warm all night, which is why I woke, I believe. I slept until just after 7:00. Probably sleeping so long because of the many interruptions.
It was 67° main and 64° front, 48° outside. But not a cold 48°. I was in a sleeveless t, with shorts and open band (rather than toe-post) flip-flops and was as comfortable as the ducks out there. Still kicking off heat? Probably. Very strangely, blood sugar was 211 this morning.
It is almost 9:00 and temps remain the same. The girls and ducks have been fed, a roast is being grilled, and a shower is planned. Then work? I sure hope so. Later.
Monday, September 9, 2019
Drifting, falling, failing.
.
.
Not cold, certainly cool. It isn't the temperature, mostly. Rain, I think. That and an inability to be active due to meds. Too hot or too cold, relative to some perceived comfort zone... which does change... added to medicine and raising levels, can increase possibilities, or as now decrease the ability to function.
On the good side, if cooling has set in, between warmer garb and the furnace, more can be done about that than when it gets too hot. What I haven't figured out is how to manage the darkness. I have extreme limits in that area. Which actually makes dressing more warmly complicated. Imagine being so tired you can't remember to dress warmly, even eat. Darkness does that. A woman to annoy... remind... helps. One simply isn't here.
Sleep was getting back to a good schedule. Then the cool, dark, and damp slipped in. I... think I can put up some resistance, reschedule, revise, if this is a limited front. If winter has returned harshly and early, it will... take some time. I will do as I may. Actually, either way, I will do as I may. Hope, when God becomes a truth, springs eternal. So it is. Hope isn't a prayer answered, it is a request for such which bolsters my allowance to live with even a rejection to my request. Amen.
The ladies, cats, have already put on a thicker coat. More Sam than Sassy. Sassy has a thicker coat always, but it can thicken more. Sam can thin her coat to a very light coat to much thicker than it is even now. Actually, she didn't thin it much this year. I am not sure if she has weather precognition or if she simply reacts. Though, after this summer, I suspect precognition. If true, cooling is pretty much back. She has thickened her coat even more this week.
A dream. High school, back in it. Local nephews back in school all together, as if we were similar ages. Gosh but I forgot how pleasant it was to see so many women every day. Yea. That wasn't what the dream was about, just a... well... just saying. It was mostly about a second chance, time around, actually for all of us.
I am considered hardcore. Strange, perhaps, but... fierce. Many think that might be a Naval thing. It was not. The Navy may have offered opportunities to... delve that, explore it, function more freely within that, but... it was a capacity I brought with me. In the dream I was reminded of that as well. The first man I hospitalized was as a junior in high school. He had absolutely no chance, or clue.
It was quite an interesting dream. As horrible as school, especially high school seemed, it passed so quickly and was missed once gone. I taught them ferocity and... to enjoy the company of the young ladies... in a chaste manner. I was way ahead on those things back then, if chastity slipped with the right... or wrong... chic... from time to time. In the dream I kept it right. I was extremely skinny back then. Ugh. About 140 as a freshman to 180 as a senior, at nearly 6'4" the whole time.
Interesting dream. Later.
.
Not cold, certainly cool. It isn't the temperature, mostly. Rain, I think. That and an inability to be active due to meds. Too hot or too cold, relative to some perceived comfort zone... which does change... added to medicine and raising levels, can increase possibilities, or as now decrease the ability to function.
On the good side, if cooling has set in, between warmer garb and the furnace, more can be done about that than when it gets too hot. What I haven't figured out is how to manage the darkness. I have extreme limits in that area. Which actually makes dressing more warmly complicated. Imagine being so tired you can't remember to dress warmly, even eat. Darkness does that. A woman to annoy... remind... helps. One simply isn't here.
Sleep was getting back to a good schedule. Then the cool, dark, and damp slipped in. I... think I can put up some resistance, reschedule, revise, if this is a limited front. If winter has returned harshly and early, it will... take some time. I will do as I may. Actually, either way, I will do as I may. Hope, when God becomes a truth, springs eternal. So it is. Hope isn't a prayer answered, it is a request for such which bolsters my allowance to live with even a rejection to my request. Amen.
The ladies, cats, have already put on a thicker coat. More Sam than Sassy. Sassy has a thicker coat always, but it can thicken more. Sam can thin her coat to a very light coat to much thicker than it is even now. Actually, she didn't thin it much this year. I am not sure if she has weather precognition or if she simply reacts. Though, after this summer, I suspect precognition. If true, cooling is pretty much back. She has thickened her coat even more this week.
A dream. High school, back in it. Local nephews back in school all together, as if we were similar ages. Gosh but I forgot how pleasant it was to see so many women every day. Yea. That wasn't what the dream was about, just a... well... just saying. It was mostly about a second chance, time around, actually for all of us.
I am considered hardcore. Strange, perhaps, but... fierce. Many think that might be a Naval thing. It was not. The Navy may have offered opportunities to... delve that, explore it, function more freely within that, but... it was a capacity I brought with me. In the dream I was reminded of that as well. The first man I hospitalized was as a junior in high school. He had absolutely no chance, or clue.
It was quite an interesting dream. As horrible as school, especially high school seemed, it passed so quickly and was missed once gone. I taught them ferocity and... to enjoy the company of the young ladies... in a chaste manner. I was way ahead on those things back then, if chastity slipped with the right... or wrong... chic... from time to time. In the dream I kept it right. I was extremely skinny back then. Ugh. About 140 as a freshman to 180 as a senior, at nearly 6'4" the whole time.
Interesting dream. Later.
Sunday, September 8, 2019
A very late night.
.
.
I kept waking. I kept clawing my way back to sleep. I can't remember what time bedtime was, after 18:00, I suspect... or 16:00? Waking at 22:00 the first time, then about every two hours after that. Too warm? A bit. It was 68° up there, so should have been good. Sleep was a struggle, but waking around 6:00, I did well.
No work yesterday... or not much. However, the projects are... I still have hope. I have this week to get in full swing. I think it will happen. Parts today. Getting solid relatively good sleep, and cooler weather again, plus a plan and reasons... there is good hope.
A bit of meat is thawed. So a bit of food to start off the day. I will open the house for a bit as the grill is lit. It is 72° main, 71° front, so it's just for fresh air. After breakfast, a shower. After the shower, cleaning the bathroom and starting dishes. Then a break. Whatever happens after that is gravy... spare, extra credit. I have to plan small and see where that gets me. Later.
.
I kept waking. I kept clawing my way back to sleep. I can't remember what time bedtime was, after 18:00, I suspect... or 16:00? Waking at 22:00 the first time, then about every two hours after that. Too warm? A bit. It was 68° up there, so should have been good. Sleep was a struggle, but waking around 6:00, I did well.
No work yesterday... or not much. However, the projects are... I still have hope. I have this week to get in full swing. I think it will happen. Parts today. Getting solid relatively good sleep, and cooler weather again, plus a plan and reasons... there is good hope.
A bit of meat is thawed. So a bit of food to start off the day. I will open the house for a bit as the grill is lit. It is 72° main, 71° front, so it's just for fresh air. After breakfast, a shower. After the shower, cleaning the bathroom and starting dishes. Then a break. Whatever happens after that is gravy... spare, extra credit. I have to plan small and see where that gets me. Later.
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