.
.
I guess I simply have to take it easy for a bit. I've taxed my body and my innards are paying the price. It seems they get shuffled every few days, improve, then get moved around again. Today is a fresh resorting and I'm feeling it. Plus I woke with a terrible bloody nose. Although I realize, that since my friend died, I haven't been getting those very often. I could be that I am less active, or maybe whatever was wrong with him was... slightly infectious? They never did find out what was wrong with him, or he never passed that on. The bloody nose, and whatever other means of blood loss he had, and the low iron... I think those were symptoms. All I know is that since he died, I have only had, perhaps, five bloody noses. While he was alive and I was seeing him regularly I had that many a month, at least. Though not always this severe.
I am sore in general. Chest, back, ribs. I have no energy or focus. Though it does take energy to focus. It may just be, in large part, a change in the season... which causes me to rest more... which makes me sore. As well, being tired for whatever reason disturbs focus. Well, and I pushed this last week, over my body's reluctance and beyond it's ability. Even if that is necessary, there is a price. I keep hoping to wake one morning to find I have regained my wind. Actually, of several sorts... I don't seem to be in keto. I'm not sure why as I am pretty sure I am eating within the guidelines. Maybe my g.i. has slowed along with all else?
Never worry. Life is just what it is. As soon as I can I will get things rigged for easier sailing, do more simple sorting while trying to 'live on air' as much as possible. In this case, living on air means making no messes rather than eating nothing. With my cast iron pieces in working order, and meat my main food item, I don't make much of a mess in the kitchen... if I keep to that. It is avoiding the temptation to make something a little more involved that is the trick... at least once I get caught back up again.
Just grumping. Might even go back to bed for a bit. Ugh. It's a rough one. Painkillers down on the way down in the hopes of waking a bit better? Yeah. Later.
Saturday, October 1, 2016
Snacks, and food more regularly.
.
.
Well, a couple of notions are being stirred and shaken. I know I need more food, regularly. Further, I know I need snacks, especially when I try to push through a dozen jobs. Too much on my proverbial plate requires more on my literal plate. Diminishing returns, and all that, of course. If I am doing too much, at some point, more food will not do anything but pack on fat. The thing is I need to find the cutoffs, decide if they can be worked through to more capacity or not. Well, and sometimes I simply don't have a choice. I can only work when I can work, which means projects with real time limits can creep up and pile on. Sometimes I just have to do what it takes and when I can, which means I end up doing too much.
.
Well, a couple of notions are being stirred and shaken. I know I need more food, regularly. Further, I know I need snacks, especially when I try to push through a dozen jobs. Too much on my proverbial plate requires more on my literal plate. Diminishing returns, and all that, of course. If I am doing too much, at some point, more food will not do anything but pack on fat. The thing is I need to find the cutoffs, decide if they can be worked through to more capacity or not. Well, and sometimes I simply don't have a choice. I can only work when I can work, which means projects with real time limits can creep up and pile on. Sometimes I just have to do what it takes and when I can, which means I end up doing too much.
Friday, September 30, 2016
Roast of beef.
.
.
Nothing fancy, nothing extra. Searing the roast on each side, well seared. Adding water then putting it in the oven... all in a cast iron dutch oven, with a lid on for the in-oven portion. An half hour, it was a smaller roast. Then fifteen minutes to cool, out of the liquid. Slice a chunk off, maybe two, then eat at leisure. A bloody roast, delicious. I'll probably have another piece.
While doing this, I am watching a movie. Some sort of Sherlock Holmes mystery, a recent movie, as if Holmes had retired, was nearing his end, but wanted to clear up one last mystery, one that had eluded him. It's a good mix. I think I will have one more piece of roast and finish the movie. Funny, if not in a comic sense, watching a man head into infirmity... after having walked out of that myself... mostly... comparatively. There were decades when I couldn't... remember. Some say I still can't. I suspect they are merely hoping. How many knew Christ was telling the truth and denied to His very death. The false, when faced with the truth, are murderously fearful. That trick really only worked with Jesus, and only because the Trinity decided to allow it... for very specific reasons. It won't work with Christ again, or any of the mechanisms which will be put into play, even long before the return. Or... so I very strongly suspect.
Food seems to help though. Beef just does a body good. I saw a vid by someone who was around my size and has lost a great deal of weight. He is still a brute, if older. I get these things. I am as well. He went his way, my guess because he had a woman and child weighing him down into 'that' direction. Even if the woman didn't have influence... if I doubt that... just having her around pollutes the masculine. Well, it's sort of supposed to work that way. It just isn't my problem. I'll stick with what works for me, and that is meat. He went his way, and it is working for him. Anyway, just thought I'd show the vid. It has some things of interest in it. Excess. Yes, I... understand. And I do understand, even as things stand, having no interest in sweets, carbs, cake, etc. Like I said, when plain yogurt tastes like candy... My tastes have reset. If I do need to do that again.
Oh, something else he notes? You really can't work AND lose weight at the same time. My trick is how to hold down the house while I fast, for example. The deal might be to do three day fasts just once a week, say over the weekend... either starting Friday or Saturday, depending on if a schedule element requires Friday or Monday. And just, literally, take the weekend off, down. It's brutal to try to work through that, initially. The rest of the week, go back to daily fasting.
.
Nothing fancy, nothing extra. Searing the roast on each side, well seared. Adding water then putting it in the oven... all in a cast iron dutch oven, with a lid on for the in-oven portion. An half hour, it was a smaller roast. Then fifteen minutes to cool, out of the liquid. Slice a chunk off, maybe two, then eat at leisure. A bloody roast, delicious. I'll probably have another piece.
While doing this, I am watching a movie. Some sort of Sherlock Holmes mystery, a recent movie, as if Holmes had retired, was nearing his end, but wanted to clear up one last mystery, one that had eluded him. It's a good mix. I think I will have one more piece of roast and finish the movie. Funny, if not in a comic sense, watching a man head into infirmity... after having walked out of that myself... mostly... comparatively. There were decades when I couldn't... remember. Some say I still can't. I suspect they are merely hoping. How many knew Christ was telling the truth and denied to His very death. The false, when faced with the truth, are murderously fearful. That trick really only worked with Jesus, and only because the Trinity decided to allow it... for very specific reasons. It won't work with Christ again, or any of the mechanisms which will be put into play, even long before the return. Or... so I very strongly suspect.
Food seems to help though. Beef just does a body good. I saw a vid by someone who was around my size and has lost a great deal of weight. He is still a brute, if older. I get these things. I am as well. He went his way, my guess because he had a woman and child weighing him down into 'that' direction. Even if the woman didn't have influence... if I doubt that... just having her around pollutes the masculine. Well, it's sort of supposed to work that way. It just isn't my problem. I'll stick with what works for me, and that is meat. He went his way, and it is working for him. Anyway, just thought I'd show the vid. It has some things of interest in it. Excess. Yes, I... understand. And I do understand, even as things stand, having no interest in sweets, carbs, cake, etc. Like I said, when plain yogurt tastes like candy... My tastes have reset. If I do need to do that again.
Oh, something else he notes? You really can't work AND lose weight at the same time. My trick is how to hold down the house while I fast, for example. The deal might be to do three day fasts just once a week, say over the weekend... either starting Friday or Saturday, depending on if a schedule element requires Friday or Monday. And just, literally, take the weekend off, down. It's brutal to try to work through that, initially. The rest of the week, go back to daily fasting.
How about this system.
.
.
I sleep until I can stand, I eat what I can, when I can (knowing I am not eating enough), and I do what I can when I can? No real choice. Might as well turn it into the dayplan.
Sleep was... sleep. It wasn't doing a bit of good until I realized it was simply too warm. I closed the door, turned on the ac and then hit the fan. I finally got... some hours of better sleep. Dreams lately, lots of them. I'm just not catching them in memory. There are fights and war in there, and problem solving... think detective or even engineering types, no love in one sense but some good involvements with women as... not lovers but not quite friends either. I little more but not that much more. Yeah, I really can like some dames.
Today? Not much. A bath or shower, if I can get to it. A dry one if nothing else. I'm still rather baked. I have to remember to put on the ac or at least fan if I sleep during the day. At least until it cools well, also if I forget to turn the furnace down or close that door.
What to eat though? It turns out, no chops if I didn't mention. A roast would be good, if a lot of work for my condition. Hmm, though maybe not, not if I use the dutch oven in the... well... oven. Nice thing is, I can sear it right in the cast. Chuck has a good lot of fat, but maybe not enough. Then again, I do have plenty of whipping cream, butter, and milk.
Well, just jotting in a note. More to order and organize my day and life. Be well.
.
I sleep until I can stand, I eat what I can, when I can (knowing I am not eating enough), and I do what I can when I can? No real choice. Might as well turn it into the dayplan.
Sleep was... sleep. It wasn't doing a bit of good until I realized it was simply too warm. I closed the door, turned on the ac and then hit the fan. I finally got... some hours of better sleep. Dreams lately, lots of them. I'm just not catching them in memory. There are fights and war in there, and problem solving... think detective or even engineering types, no love in one sense but some good involvements with women as... not lovers but not quite friends either. I little more but not that much more. Yeah, I really can like some dames.
Today? Not much. A bath or shower, if I can get to it. A dry one if nothing else. I'm still rather baked. I have to remember to put on the ac or at least fan if I sleep during the day. At least until it cools well, also if I forget to turn the furnace down or close that door.
What to eat though? It turns out, no chops if I didn't mention. A roast would be good, if a lot of work for my condition. Hmm, though maybe not, not if I use the dutch oven in the... well... oven. Nice thing is, I can sear it right in the cast. Chuck has a good lot of fat, but maybe not enough. Then again, I do have plenty of whipping cream, butter, and milk.
Well, just jotting in a note. More to order and organize my day and life. Be well.
Inferno.
.
.
I am reading fairly well. My innards still feel... very off. I am uncomfortable in most positions, so it doesn't matter. Reclining might be a bit better, if just for a while. At some point that becomes bad, which makes sleep difficult. It is like a lizard, on hot sand, shifting what is touching the painful dry lake of tiny bits so that nothing gets too hot for too long. Only this has to do with gravity, organs, and pain. No, nothing new. Thankfully it just happens in spells, comes and goes. I do well with pain and ill health. For what that is worth.
Ah, but the book. Some of the monsters in it I knew of well before this book. Some where new, in my first reading. I had been a fan of monsters, lore, and such from an early age. Attuned to it naturally. To some degree, no need for belief, though no complete belief either. Monsters are real, as are angels, demons, and others. Men can be the monsters, but they aren't the only one. It seems, however, at this time God set this space aside for men to make their choice, or... really... for men to descend in time, on their own, unmolested save by themselves. That's my story and I am sticking to it.
As to the damnations and such? In here, I think of these as fiction. While I do believe there are levels, houses of various sizes, and such, in heaven, purgatory, and hell, I just don't see devils, demons, or monsters being allowed to lord over the lost. I suppose, at the time, it was an attempt to put some order to things. In a general sense, I believe he was more accurate than people today. It is an interesting read, from a time when men really did believe in sin and punishment. I do wish more men could attend exorcisms. I think they would have the devil scared out of them. The problem is, those who don't even believe in sin would be a serious draw to those who possess another. Sometimes more than one creature possesses, one of which, or even all, could pass right on to someone weak of faith, as they crumble. It would be a grave risk. It's a danger even sometimes to priests of strong faith. I wonder if the pope has ever attended an exorcism? Does he believe in them? Just a question. It might be a terrible risk though, too.
Well, it was certainly a book along the lines of much else I had read. While it is mostly Christian, more heavily Catholic, it is also classical, even historical, in nature. For as good as it is, the author seems to get some things incorrect, on a number of fronts. Though given the nature of the writing, the length, and the various involvements, I'm not going to throw a stone, first or last, just noticing some things. Quite a book. I'm about half way through. I don't remember a great deal, of the written word, but if you read here, and read it, you might well see themes and such carried in and or over. There are bits, pieces... some smaller, some larger. It must have touched my mind.
Well, on to something. The internet was down for a goodly bit so I got a lot of reading in. I'll get back to reading anyway. Don't mind my stumbling as I write, think. I'm rather toasted. No, not that kind, simply mechanically worn down. Blathering. Forgive. Later.
.
I am reading fairly well. My innards still feel... very off. I am uncomfortable in most positions, so it doesn't matter. Reclining might be a bit better, if just for a while. At some point that becomes bad, which makes sleep difficult. It is like a lizard, on hot sand, shifting what is touching the painful dry lake of tiny bits so that nothing gets too hot for too long. Only this has to do with gravity, organs, and pain. No, nothing new. Thankfully it just happens in spells, comes and goes. I do well with pain and ill health. For what that is worth.
Ah, but the book. Some of the monsters in it I knew of well before this book. Some where new, in my first reading. I had been a fan of monsters, lore, and such from an early age. Attuned to it naturally. To some degree, no need for belief, though no complete belief either. Monsters are real, as are angels, demons, and others. Men can be the monsters, but they aren't the only one. It seems, however, at this time God set this space aside for men to make their choice, or... really... for men to descend in time, on their own, unmolested save by themselves. That's my story and I am sticking to it.
As to the damnations and such? In here, I think of these as fiction. While I do believe there are levels, houses of various sizes, and such, in heaven, purgatory, and hell, I just don't see devils, demons, or monsters being allowed to lord over the lost. I suppose, at the time, it was an attempt to put some order to things. In a general sense, I believe he was more accurate than people today. It is an interesting read, from a time when men really did believe in sin and punishment. I do wish more men could attend exorcisms. I think they would have the devil scared out of them. The problem is, those who don't even believe in sin would be a serious draw to those who possess another. Sometimes more than one creature possesses, one of which, or even all, could pass right on to someone weak of faith, as they crumble. It would be a grave risk. It's a danger even sometimes to priests of strong faith. I wonder if the pope has ever attended an exorcism? Does he believe in them? Just a question. It might be a terrible risk though, too.
Well, it was certainly a book along the lines of much else I had read. While it is mostly Christian, more heavily Catholic, it is also classical, even historical, in nature. For as good as it is, the author seems to get some things incorrect, on a number of fronts. Though given the nature of the writing, the length, and the various involvements, I'm not going to throw a stone, first or last, just noticing some things. Quite a book. I'm about half way through. I don't remember a great deal, of the written word, but if you read here, and read it, you might well see themes and such carried in and or over. There are bits, pieces... some smaller, some larger. It must have touched my mind.
Well, on to something. The internet was down for a goodly bit so I got a lot of reading in. I'll get back to reading anyway. Don't mind my stumbling as I write, think. I'm rather toasted. No, not that kind, simply mechanically worn down. Blathering. Forgive. Later.
Thursday, September 29, 2016
Mayo and dressings.
.
.
I had to make mayonnaise first. It was the base ingredient for all of the dressings I was working with. As it turns out, I used the double batch of mayo. I do have a good solid dose of coleslaw dressing, a large portion of ranch, and another portion of blue cheese dressing. There simply isn't much that compares. I know they have packets which could be added to mayo, I just don't see how that would be any different than buying the stuff at the store in the first place. The only thing that I bought, that was not a raw ingredient technically, was dried herbs/spices. Some might suggest the milk and cream, I simply have limits as to availability. I even went for cage free free range chicken eggs. Those are simply usually the very freshest, no other reason.
I thought I had lamb chops. It turned out to be a chuck roast and hamburger, so I made a couple of hamburgers. Topping those with ranch, and with coleslaw made a meal of it. Yeah, that is quite good. If I am hungry later I will make a salad. I am not sure if I will be able to stay awake much longer though. Then again, I might not be able to sleep for long. The change of seasons, and pushing it in that, sure is a difficult thing. I am hoping, as the weather settles, I might find balance. From that point, begin ripping back into things. But for now I believe I'll simply have to back off for a bit. Still, it was good to get the dressings made. Those go good on meats, have good fats, and the way I do it even have good gut bacteria in there.
I really am hoping to tinker more with food this winter. It's a lot more fun to bake, roast, fry, and the rest when the whether is cool. Something that has been on my mind for a very long time is a beef wellington. I am absolutely sure some folk might even accept a portion to sample. Oh, and I will be ordering crawdads, of a larger, greener, and ocean going sort this coming month. Some to eat with butter, some to add to another dish, perhaps, and some to share out. Yeah, it works well.
Later. Or good night.
.
I had to make mayonnaise first. It was the base ingredient for all of the dressings I was working with. As it turns out, I used the double batch of mayo. I do have a good solid dose of coleslaw dressing, a large portion of ranch, and another portion of blue cheese dressing. There simply isn't much that compares. I know they have packets which could be added to mayo, I just don't see how that would be any different than buying the stuff at the store in the first place. The only thing that I bought, that was not a raw ingredient technically, was dried herbs/spices. Some might suggest the milk and cream, I simply have limits as to availability. I even went for cage free free range chicken eggs. Those are simply usually the very freshest, no other reason.
I thought I had lamb chops. It turned out to be a chuck roast and hamburger, so I made a couple of hamburgers. Topping those with ranch, and with coleslaw made a meal of it. Yeah, that is quite good. If I am hungry later I will make a salad. I am not sure if I will be able to stay awake much longer though. Then again, I might not be able to sleep for long. The change of seasons, and pushing it in that, sure is a difficult thing. I am hoping, as the weather settles, I might find balance. From that point, begin ripping back into things. But for now I believe I'll simply have to back off for a bit. Still, it was good to get the dressings made. Those go good on meats, have good fats, and the way I do it even have good gut bacteria in there.
I really am hoping to tinker more with food this winter. It's a lot more fun to bake, roast, fry, and the rest when the whether is cool. Something that has been on my mind for a very long time is a beef wellington. I am absolutely sure some folk might even accept a portion to sample. Oh, and I will be ordering crawdads, of a larger, greener, and ocean going sort this coming month. Some to eat with butter, some to add to another dish, perhaps, and some to share out. Yeah, it works well.
Later. Or good night.
So they say.
.
.
True? Not. Time tells all. Still, in the spirit of the moment, for those who want to believe, a little music.
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True? Not. Time tells all. Still, in the spirit of the moment, for those who want to believe, a little music.
Oh, I get it.
.
.
I don't fully understand. Of the various sorts, just what constitutes belief, understanding, and rightness. Are lambs allowed to be totally ignorant, or is that a failure, and at what point does one become the other. Among wolves, former wolves, sheep-dog, and shepherds... are these also allotted differing levels of understanding, and, again, at what point does knowing but not doing, or choosing ignorance in spite of what should be easily seen, become an issue of soul damage or destruction? I tell you that I cannot know. I can tell you that I strongly suspect.
If you know something is a sin, and you choose to ignore it for your sins rather than deal with your sins, that is beyond the pale. Even a quid pro quo wink and nod is second death worthy. Not dealing with the sins of another, even to be falsely kind or non-judgmental, is wrong as well. Forgive, but at some point, if publicly sinful, you have to turn your back. If you don't, then you support the sin through the unrepentant sinner. But there are areas which are difficult to understand. How much does another know? Some are plainly ignorant. Other seem to know and not care. Thankfully, final judgment is not my job. I'll leave that, happily, to another. Although I will choose according to my understanding. I will not participate with those who live scandal. If that is a scandal in your book, I happily part ways. Though with warning. Choose wisely. Living with the reality of ticks and fleas, but fighting it, is not the same as embracing ticks and fleas. I know it can be tricky, but... it isn't.
.
I don't fully understand. Of the various sorts, just what constitutes belief, understanding, and rightness. Are lambs allowed to be totally ignorant, or is that a failure, and at what point does one become the other. Among wolves, former wolves, sheep-dog, and shepherds... are these also allotted differing levels of understanding, and, again, at what point does knowing but not doing, or choosing ignorance in spite of what should be easily seen, become an issue of soul damage or destruction? I tell you that I cannot know. I can tell you that I strongly suspect.
If you know something is a sin, and you choose to ignore it for your sins rather than deal with your sins, that is beyond the pale. Even a quid pro quo wink and nod is second death worthy. Not dealing with the sins of another, even to be falsely kind or non-judgmental, is wrong as well. Forgive, but at some point, if publicly sinful, you have to turn your back. If you don't, then you support the sin through the unrepentant sinner. But there are areas which are difficult to understand. How much does another know? Some are plainly ignorant. Other seem to know and not care. Thankfully, final judgment is not my job. I'll leave that, happily, to another. Although I will choose according to my understanding. I will not participate with those who live scandal. If that is a scandal in your book, I happily part ways. Though with warning. Choose wisely. Living with the reality of ticks and fleas, but fighting it, is not the same as embracing ticks and fleas. I know it can be tricky, but... it isn't.
Still feeling it.
.
.
Too much sleep. I woke from time to time I simply couldn't stay awake. I did make an effort several times. Too tired and still sore. I had hoped to sleep beyond the soreness. I don't think I can do much about the exhaustion. It simply has to be lived through. It's not terrible, just uncomfortable. I have definitely had worse. I am sure worse is coming, soon or late.
Before I start messing with the dishes, I want to get a shower in. Maybe a bath. I haven't had a good long soak in quite some time. With the water softener working again, I really think that might be even better than before. With my new dry shampoo method, I won't need a shower after to wash my hair. Yeah, I'm picky, up to a point. If I am going to do something, I need it to be done to completion, one way or another. Half-baked simply won't do.
Another project I would like to arrange this month is the production of a stand upon which to place pots for growing herbs and spices. Something I can set up for what light there, whichever season, then remove as needed due to excess heat or cold by the windows. Perhaps something with a bar or two, with which to attach lighting and which would be adjustable. It needs to be light enough to be mobile, but strong enough to handle being moved under load. No clue. I'm not going to start with a template. I will simply buy various wood portions, see what else I have around as to supplies, and then get to it... or not. Hmm... might want to consider a removable mesh device to keep the girls out. Between wanting to dig and chew on greens, or just some unnatural hate of some plants, the need for protection is real. Fresh herbs and spices are definitely worth it, IF you can get it all together and going and maintain it. It's a bit of a trick, but would definitely save coin in the long run. A bottle of thyme is, like, $5. Seriously? That is usury, in my opinion. Usury? Something like it.
Well, on to a movie or a show, perhaps a start of the X-files series. I could begin chopping the mushrooms. If I didn't mention it, after returning home I realized I didn't have some items, so I went back in to the store. I have all that I need for that. Plus I could make coleslaw... I have what I need for the dressing, some other dressings, and mayo too. I'd like to get several of those things set up to go with salad, and make some slaw as well. But, I can dice the mushrooms will comfortably watching something. I'll make lamb chops again this evening, which will go quite well with either the slaw or a salad. By which time I should have the mushrooms desiccating. With the dehydrator, I'll finish the mushroom bits tomorrow... or start that. Some things take a long time to dry.
Anything else that might get done will be incidental. The dishes will be started after a bath or shower, then the mushrooms, and some sauces and foods otherwise. That'll be it for several days to a week, I suspect. My innards are really messed up. I need time to heal. Later.
.
Too much sleep. I woke from time to time I simply couldn't stay awake. I did make an effort several times. Too tired and still sore. I had hoped to sleep beyond the soreness. I don't think I can do much about the exhaustion. It simply has to be lived through. It's not terrible, just uncomfortable. I have definitely had worse. I am sure worse is coming, soon or late.
Before I start messing with the dishes, I want to get a shower in. Maybe a bath. I haven't had a good long soak in quite some time. With the water softener working again, I really think that might be even better than before. With my new dry shampoo method, I won't need a shower after to wash my hair. Yeah, I'm picky, up to a point. If I am going to do something, I need it to be done to completion, one way or another. Half-baked simply won't do.
Another project I would like to arrange this month is the production of a stand upon which to place pots for growing herbs and spices. Something I can set up for what light there, whichever season, then remove as needed due to excess heat or cold by the windows. Perhaps something with a bar or two, with which to attach lighting and which would be adjustable. It needs to be light enough to be mobile, but strong enough to handle being moved under load. No clue. I'm not going to start with a template. I will simply buy various wood portions, see what else I have around as to supplies, and then get to it... or not. Hmm... might want to consider a removable mesh device to keep the girls out. Between wanting to dig and chew on greens, or just some unnatural hate of some plants, the need for protection is real. Fresh herbs and spices are definitely worth it, IF you can get it all together and going and maintain it. It's a bit of a trick, but would definitely save coin in the long run. A bottle of thyme is, like, $5. Seriously? That is usury, in my opinion. Usury? Something like it.
Well, on to a movie or a show, perhaps a start of the X-files series. I could begin chopping the mushrooms. If I didn't mention it, after returning home I realized I didn't have some items, so I went back in to the store. I have all that I need for that. Plus I could make coleslaw... I have what I need for the dressing, some other dressings, and mayo too. I'd like to get several of those things set up to go with salad, and make some slaw as well. But, I can dice the mushrooms will comfortably watching something. I'll make lamb chops again this evening, which will go quite well with either the slaw or a salad. By which time I should have the mushrooms desiccating. With the dehydrator, I'll finish the mushroom bits tomorrow... or start that. Some things take a long time to dry.
Anything else that might get done will be incidental. The dishes will be started after a bath or shower, then the mushrooms, and some sauces and foods otherwise. That'll be it for several days to a week, I suspect. My innards are really messed up. I need time to heal. Later.
A strange night.
.
.
Time doesn't make sense. Pushing through health and the season was required. It simply leaves perceived continuity of time in tatters. I could have sworn I slept a day. I was sure I was up a day. Mere hours in both cases. Dinner was had. Nothing fancy, mostly. A ribeye. It is fancy in one sense. I'd have them three times a week if I could. As is, a few times a month is probably pushing my stores. All good. I suppose, when I am out, I will simply buy another roast. I've thought about buying a roast, but having them cut it at three quarter inch, rather than an inch or inch and an half. It would last longer. They do cook faster. But there really isn't much to them. Just a thought.
I may, for my break, begin a X-files watching spree. I watched some of the shows, some of the seasons. I missed much. For some of the original, I was in engineering school. I simply couldn't do much else. When I was taking courses I was too busy. When I fell ill, I was too ill. There almost never seemed to be much between those two extremes. Amazing that didn't kill me. The stress of finals was brutal. Even mid-terms were pretty tight. The few regular courses I took were laughably easy. I learned not to study for those courses as there usually wasn't a reason. Micro or macro econ, for example... whichever it was. There were others. I couldn't believe how simple. Though I am pretty sure they made it harder in eng for me. They didn't want me. The few professors I had who didn't seem to know me... I did well in their courses. It was rigged.
Yeah, perhaps those shows. Yeah, I know they are extremely lefty based. Still, there were some notions I didn't quite grok, or missed the building up regarding, which I would like to sort out. It's a lot of viewing. I don't think I can do a straight shot. But I might be able to get a couple of seasons down, then take a break from it to work if I heal well, then back to shows when I bury myself with work again. It's not golden, it is something, and it's as good as I can do with my life. Nap, or sleep, time. Good night... or morning for some of you crazies. Blessings if it's work or other good effort, a pox on you if you are just goofing, and prayers if you, like me, are cursed with time and space incontinence.
.
Time doesn't make sense. Pushing through health and the season was required. It simply leaves perceived continuity of time in tatters. I could have sworn I slept a day. I was sure I was up a day. Mere hours in both cases. Dinner was had. Nothing fancy, mostly. A ribeye. It is fancy in one sense. I'd have them three times a week if I could. As is, a few times a month is probably pushing my stores. All good. I suppose, when I am out, I will simply buy another roast. I've thought about buying a roast, but having them cut it at three quarter inch, rather than an inch or inch and an half. It would last longer. They do cook faster. But there really isn't much to them. Just a thought.
I may, for my break, begin a X-files watching spree. I watched some of the shows, some of the seasons. I missed much. For some of the original, I was in engineering school. I simply couldn't do much else. When I was taking courses I was too busy. When I fell ill, I was too ill. There almost never seemed to be much between those two extremes. Amazing that didn't kill me. The stress of finals was brutal. Even mid-terms were pretty tight. The few regular courses I took were laughably easy. I learned not to study for those courses as there usually wasn't a reason. Micro or macro econ, for example... whichever it was. There were others. I couldn't believe how simple. Though I am pretty sure they made it harder in eng for me. They didn't want me. The few professors I had who didn't seem to know me... I did well in their courses. It was rigged.
Yeah, perhaps those shows. Yeah, I know they are extremely lefty based. Still, there were some notions I didn't quite grok, or missed the building up regarding, which I would like to sort out. It's a lot of viewing. I don't think I can do a straight shot. But I might be able to get a couple of seasons down, then take a break from it to work if I heal well, then back to shows when I bury myself with work again. It's not golden, it is something, and it's as good as I can do with my life. Nap, or sleep, time. Good night... or morning for some of you crazies. Blessings if it's work or other good effort, a pox on you if you are just goofing, and prayers if you, like me, are cursed with time and space incontinence.
Wednesday, September 28, 2016
Better, part try?
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.
I don't speak a trace of French or even other romantic languages anymore. At least it wasn't part doe. Never mind.
I am feeling better. Still a bit tight, all around, weary as well, if better in all ways, again. I will be awake until I am not. I will read, watch music or movie vids, or even do little tasks here and there, as things work out. I simply won't push this way or that. I won't dig, aim, or try. I just don't have it in me to do so. Batteries have to recharge before I can even begin thinking about thinking about things. Then, of course, I have to... well... think about things, formulate a plan, create order, provide direction, then wait for the window of opportunity to appear. Even then, a window of opportunity is not a guarantee of action.
Have you ever met someone of "the faith" who... pretty much didn't believe... pretty much anything? Ah, right, yeah... the flood? Oh, well, just a story. Virgin birth? Just an allusion. Allusion? Something. Sin? Well, yeah, but not really. Just take even literal things all as stories of morality, and then try to play nice. They seem to laugh off much. And, yet, when they find you do believe? They fear YOU? Really? How does that work? Don't fear God, or sin, or hell, but fear someone who believes in that?
Seems the pope is like that. You know... that doesn't work out. There is a dissonance there that absolutely doesn't make sense. I can't help. Free choice. I am pretty sure that if they say those things are false, and fear me or priests who also believe, that they know, deep down, but are hiding from it. For... any of a number of reasons. But they know. They just want to avoid knowing. At one time I would have pursued, a bit. Now? I just let them go there way. Just by being present in how I understand truth I have done all I may for them. I'll check. If I am no longer welcome I will find another place for that need. It isn't a problem for me, I think it is for some. So be it, if necessary.
Well... on to something or other. Wow... just 22:00? Weird. I am really out of sorts. Time and sleep and such just isn't... my internal clock is just not keeping up. Later or good night, definitely good evening.
.
I don't speak a trace of French or even other romantic languages anymore. At least it wasn't part doe. Never mind.
I am feeling better. Still a bit tight, all around, weary as well, if better in all ways, again. I will be awake until I am not. I will read, watch music or movie vids, or even do little tasks here and there, as things work out. I simply won't push this way or that. I won't dig, aim, or try. I just don't have it in me to do so. Batteries have to recharge before I can even begin thinking about thinking about things. Then, of course, I have to... well... think about things, formulate a plan, create order, provide direction, then wait for the window of opportunity to appear. Even then, a window of opportunity is not a guarantee of action.
Have you ever met someone of "the faith" who... pretty much didn't believe... pretty much anything? Ah, right, yeah... the flood? Oh, well, just a story. Virgin birth? Just an allusion. Allusion? Something. Sin? Well, yeah, but not really. Just take even literal things all as stories of morality, and then try to play nice. They seem to laugh off much. And, yet, when they find you do believe? They fear YOU? Really? How does that work? Don't fear God, or sin, or hell, but fear someone who believes in that?
Seems the pope is like that. You know... that doesn't work out. There is a dissonance there that absolutely doesn't make sense. I can't help. Free choice. I am pretty sure that if they say those things are false, and fear me or priests who also believe, that they know, deep down, but are hiding from it. For... any of a number of reasons. But they know. They just want to avoid knowing. At one time I would have pursued, a bit. Now? I just let them go there way. Just by being present in how I understand truth I have done all I may for them. I'll check. If I am no longer welcome I will find another place for that need. It isn't a problem for me, I think it is for some. So be it, if necessary.
Well... on to something or other. Wow... just 22:00? Weird. I am really out of sorts. Time and sleep and such just isn't... my internal clock is just not keeping up. Later or good night, definitely good evening.
Not as good as "better".
.
.
Instead of just a gentle removal and remittance of my innards, this time there is the sense that my offal was placed between to large cutting boards, which were then struck until right before anything burst. Then, all whole, my pluck was returned, if and again, akilter. Nothing is quite where it seems it should belong. I have had worse, even in this regard, just not recently. All good, I finished what was wanted and needed. Suffering can go in the bucket for those in purgatory. I am not sure if that is the least I can do or all I can do, but it is what I know to do.
A day or two of rest. Catching back up on dishes, no fancy cooking until that is done if only using a cast iron piece, which is in a permanent state of seasoning use and reuse... save for the mushroom ketchup. Which will probably go forward sometime this tonight. You say Wednesday, I say Thursday eve. Or so I heard some wisenheimer intimate recently. Ace? I can't remember. I resemble wiseguys. Not sure I truly am one, just not that good... or bad?
If I have been stepping on toes lately, don't take it too personally... mostly. When I push beyond a certain level I tend to get a bit... out of sorts. Not that I'll backtrack, necessarily, just that some things don't always need to be said, or written. When I am raw to bone, words may be loosed that I may have preferred to not loose. Though if you are sticking your nose in, or otherwise twerking in places you shouldn't, a little sting might be in order. All I am suggesting is that I am not absolutely sure my notations were wisely reasoned. Oh, I'm not worried. If you wish to throw stones for it, aim well. If also, expect absolutely no allowance for that so make it count, thus fatal, probably on the first toss. Do us both a favor or keep to your private pouting.
The goal, for now, is to limp back up to speed, then begin digging into the cave. I would like to order a full size dumpster, so as to begin clearing the cave of... much. I don't know if a regular one will work, for what I have in mind, or if they would prefer a construction based one. I'll attempt to make contact tomorrow. Then, through October, I'll begin stripping out boxes and furniture which I don't use and would not be taking with. The goal is to reduce my holdings to what could be compacted into a smaller moving pull-behind or truck (if it could pull the Xterra). Bleh. I won't be able to do that fully, but some things can stay... things which are currently useful.
Next month is about ripping into my possessions and house and sorting, storing properly, tossing, or putting into a pile for further consideration. I hope to have the kitchen and bathroom in shape to have a plumber in, perhaps even installing a outdoor faucet on the driveway side of the house. But definitely getting the sink working and the plumbing righted. If that goes well, and affordably, as I get to the rest of the cave, I may, over the winter, hit the en suite finally. Two bathrooms is nice, but an en suite is truly divine. I'd like to have that working for my last year or two here. Plus it adds value... if that means anything in this economy.
Oh, yes. But, first, I absolutely have to rest and heal. I have pushed and shoved trying to get this done. I still don't know if I was fighting phantoms of mind or body, if the ailments were real, or just what caused so much grief and why it was so difficult. I only know it has worn me down to nubs and turned me into a form of suffering. I am sure punching bags could commiserate. Bruised, battered, tired, and just way off the beaten track. I'll get better, always do. Later.
.
Instead of just a gentle removal and remittance of my innards, this time there is the sense that my offal was placed between to large cutting boards, which were then struck until right before anything burst. Then, all whole, my pluck was returned, if and again, akilter. Nothing is quite where it seems it should belong. I have had worse, even in this regard, just not recently. All good, I finished what was wanted and needed. Suffering can go in the bucket for those in purgatory. I am not sure if that is the least I can do or all I can do, but it is what I know to do.
A day or two of rest. Catching back up on dishes, no fancy cooking until that is done if only using a cast iron piece, which is in a permanent state of seasoning use and reuse... save for the mushroom ketchup. Which will probably go forward sometime this tonight. You say Wednesday, I say Thursday eve. Or so I heard some wisenheimer intimate recently. Ace? I can't remember. I resemble wiseguys. Not sure I truly am one, just not that good... or bad?
If I have been stepping on toes lately, don't take it too personally... mostly. When I push beyond a certain level I tend to get a bit... out of sorts. Not that I'll backtrack, necessarily, just that some things don't always need to be said, or written. When I am raw to bone, words may be loosed that I may have preferred to not loose. Though if you are sticking your nose in, or otherwise twerking in places you shouldn't, a little sting might be in order. All I am suggesting is that I am not absolutely sure my notations were wisely reasoned. Oh, I'm not worried. If you wish to throw stones for it, aim well. If also, expect absolutely no allowance for that so make it count, thus fatal, probably on the first toss. Do us both a favor or keep to your private pouting.
The goal, for now, is to limp back up to speed, then begin digging into the cave. I would like to order a full size dumpster, so as to begin clearing the cave of... much. I don't know if a regular one will work, for what I have in mind, or if they would prefer a construction based one. I'll attempt to make contact tomorrow. Then, through October, I'll begin stripping out boxes and furniture which I don't use and would not be taking with. The goal is to reduce my holdings to what could be compacted into a smaller moving pull-behind or truck (if it could pull the Xterra). Bleh. I won't be able to do that fully, but some things can stay... things which are currently useful.
Next month is about ripping into my possessions and house and sorting, storing properly, tossing, or putting into a pile for further consideration. I hope to have the kitchen and bathroom in shape to have a plumber in, perhaps even installing a outdoor faucet on the driveway side of the house. But definitely getting the sink working and the plumbing righted. If that goes well, and affordably, as I get to the rest of the cave, I may, over the winter, hit the en suite finally. Two bathrooms is nice, but an en suite is truly divine. I'd like to have that working for my last year or two here. Plus it adds value... if that means anything in this economy.
Oh, yes. But, first, I absolutely have to rest and heal. I have pushed and shoved trying to get this done. I still don't know if I was fighting phantoms of mind or body, if the ailments were real, or just what caused so much grief and why it was so difficult. I only know it has worn me down to nubs and turned me into a form of suffering. I am sure punching bags could commiserate. Bruised, battered, tired, and just way off the beaten track. I'll get better, always do. Later.
Yeah, but I think I broke something.
.
.
Me and my big fat tests. As late as I got back home, with what I had to do as well as trying too cool off, the only way I was going to make it back to town was to not sleep. So... I didn't sleep. And I made it back in to town. Not always do both happen even if the first is a success. I got right in at the shop. They are rather honest. I should get my oil changed more often, if it isn't as necessary as some suggest. I'm pretty heavy on the pedal too, so, I just don't get that. With the inspection done as well, the tax office was smooth. Mostly.
Yeah, I put the decal on. Right away. Wow was I pushing it. Some year I would like to have this done spot on. I think I did do that one year. Last year? Maybe. I was quitting tobacco. That can do it to a guy. But... done. Everything that was killing my nerves is done. For now.
If I have been feeling rough, now I feel a bit worse, though through the numbing effect of having been struck from on high. I didn't even know the Big Guy knew 'hammer time'. *Bam* When I can relax and cool I'll go lay down. Wonderful. Well, terribly wonderful.
After I catch back up on this and that, I need to get medicines going. I am definitely out of potassium. I never did get the change of dosage on the carvedilol. And I should set up an appointment next next month. Also, back to house cleaning. I really am getting some squaring away going, and mostly staying on top of it. It's a mountain that, if I climb, I mean to stay firmly atop, save for skiing the moguls. Bleh heh heh hehehehe hehehehehehehehehe *cliff* ARgh! I've had worse.
I almost stopped in for an eye exam. I will soon. Then to order at least two pair. I'll give the doc a shot, and that one place. Bifoculs, but the inviso ones. Yeah, it's... about that time. I'd love to have the surgery, then just go with readers, but... yeah. Maybe though, in time... or not. Alaska makes me want it, but might kill it, or not? Gah!
Good day and night.
.
Me and my big fat tests. As late as I got back home, with what I had to do as well as trying too cool off, the only way I was going to make it back to town was to not sleep. So... I didn't sleep. And I made it back in to town. Not always do both happen even if the first is a success. I got right in at the shop. They are rather honest. I should get my oil changed more often, if it isn't as necessary as some suggest. I'm pretty heavy on the pedal too, so, I just don't get that. With the inspection done as well, the tax office was smooth. Mostly.
Yeah, I put the decal on. Right away. Wow was I pushing it. Some year I would like to have this done spot on. I think I did do that one year. Last year? Maybe. I was quitting tobacco. That can do it to a guy. But... done. Everything that was killing my nerves is done. For now.
If I have been feeling rough, now I feel a bit worse, though through the numbing effect of having been struck from on high. I didn't even know the Big Guy knew 'hammer time'. *Bam* When I can relax and cool I'll go lay down. Wonderful. Well, terribly wonderful.
After I catch back up on this and that, I need to get medicines going. I am definitely out of potassium. I never did get the change of dosage on the carvedilol. And I should set up an appointment next next month. Also, back to house cleaning. I really am getting some squaring away going, and mostly staying on top of it. It's a mountain that, if I climb, I mean to stay firmly atop, save for skiing the moguls. Bleh heh heh hehehehe hehehehehehehehehe *cliff* ARgh! I've had worse.
I almost stopped in for an eye exam. I will soon. Then to order at least two pair. I'll give the doc a shot, and that one place. Bifoculs, but the inviso ones. Yeah, it's... about that time. I'd love to have the surgery, then just go with readers, but... yeah. Maybe though, in time... or not. Alaska makes me want it, but might kill it, or not? Gah!
Good day and night.
Note from the doc.
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.
Something about something. Blood work included. Oh, he seems upset. This doc, the last, the one before that, on to all but the first who thought there was nothing wrong at all, have been saying something about death, and dying, and on and on. I swear, they need to give these people something for their nerves. I outlived the one who couldn't find his a... my health issue, with both hands. I am grateful, as it means that particular quack isn't practicing anymore.
.
Something about something. Blood work included. Oh, he seems upset. This doc, the last, the one before that, on to all but the first who thought there was nothing wrong at all, have been saying something about death, and dying, and on and on. I swear, they need to give these people something for their nerves. I outlived the one who couldn't find his a... my health issue, with both hands. I am grateful, as it means that particular quack isn't practicing anymore.
Tuesday, September 27, 2016
Late but true.
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As an arrow. If late from the quiver not late for the target. As much was done as was possible by reason other than my will, ability, or stamina. First the shower, of course. Then unloading the vehicle, as much as possible. Then to loading every last bit of recycling to go. A good thing as more boxes had arrived as well as the ones which had not gotten broken down that first time. Along, of course, with the styrofoam. Quite a haul was taken in. Light as a feather, strong as... well... styrofoam anyway. Don't hide behind it in a gunfight, or even as protection from being flocked or stoned... no, not the new terms. Look yea back, in time, or such.
That was just to get out the door. Which didn't happen until... hmm... perhaps 15:30? I really wasn't sure what would happen. Oh, and on the way out, I called about another lamb. Not sure any are available, but it is being checked. Yeah, I really do like lamb. It is somewhat dear, if much better, less expensive, than store bought, and in my opinion in all ways. I haven't found such sweet lamb since a brand a store that has since changed hands twice used to carry. I can't find it anymore, so... But this will do quite well.
Then to recycling. I love driving, so that is never a thing. So long as I don't have a tight schedule. After that? Ah, right, since I was coming around by my service center, used to be Midas but is now independent... but same guys... all good. Right there. I figured they wouldn't have a spot for me, but no reason not to stop in and check. I was right, though set things up. Tomorrow, at 9:00, I am told. I could have asked for 14:00 but I like to test things. Yeah, I'm an idjit, sue me. We'll see. Then on to the cleaner. They have a program, free month, sign up for your favored wash, as much as you want, for about three times the cost of a single wash. Yeah? Heck yeah. I was thinking of asking them if they had some program. Funny how things work out. That was right next door to the tire shop, so after that I got them rotated.
Finally on to the store. Milk, cream, and butter... some fruits, pears and grapes... and two sorts of lettuce and two heads of cabbage. Yeah. A few other items to make dressings and mayo. I prefer light olive oil for those things and aioli. Ugh... Oh, and mushrooms for a archaic form of ketchup... as per the following vid. That was that. I did what I could, and more. I am toast. I chose white mushrooms instead of brown due to availability and more because white mushrooms are higher in potassium. Not sure if I will do this tonight or tomorrow.
.
As an arrow. If late from the quiver not late for the target. As much was done as was possible by reason other than my will, ability, or stamina. First the shower, of course. Then unloading the vehicle, as much as possible. Then to loading every last bit of recycling to go. A good thing as more boxes had arrived as well as the ones which had not gotten broken down that first time. Along, of course, with the styrofoam. Quite a haul was taken in. Light as a feather, strong as... well... styrofoam anyway. Don't hide behind it in a gunfight, or even as protection from being flocked or stoned... no, not the new terms. Look yea back, in time, or such.
That was just to get out the door. Which didn't happen until... hmm... perhaps 15:30? I really wasn't sure what would happen. Oh, and on the way out, I called about another lamb. Not sure any are available, but it is being checked. Yeah, I really do like lamb. It is somewhat dear, if much better, less expensive, than store bought, and in my opinion in all ways. I haven't found such sweet lamb since a brand a store that has since changed hands twice used to carry. I can't find it anymore, so... But this will do quite well.
Then to recycling. I love driving, so that is never a thing. So long as I don't have a tight schedule. After that? Ah, right, since I was coming around by my service center, used to be Midas but is now independent... but same guys... all good. Right there. I figured they wouldn't have a spot for me, but no reason not to stop in and check. I was right, though set things up. Tomorrow, at 9:00, I am told. I could have asked for 14:00 but I like to test things. Yeah, I'm an idjit, sue me. We'll see. Then on to the cleaner. They have a program, free month, sign up for your favored wash, as much as you want, for about three times the cost of a single wash. Yeah? Heck yeah. I was thinking of asking them if they had some program. Funny how things work out. That was right next door to the tire shop, so after that I got them rotated.
Finally on to the store. Milk, cream, and butter... some fruits, pears and grapes... and two sorts of lettuce and two heads of cabbage. Yeah. A few other items to make dressings and mayo. I prefer light olive oil for those things and aioli. Ugh... Oh, and mushrooms for a archaic form of ketchup... as per the following vid. That was that. I did what I could, and more. I am toast. I chose white mushrooms instead of brown due to availability and more because white mushrooms are higher in potassium. Not sure if I will do this tonight or tomorrow.
Not lazy.
.
.
Simply not well. Not at my worst, though it doesn't take that. All it takes is 20% off my game and I'm pretty much in dirt nap territory. Thing is, I don't die any better than I work or live. I don't feel horrible, or good. Better than even my "Better" post, for as little as that means. I really have to get to things today. Time is running out, tick-tock, and on this front, time is required to mean something. So... In I go. Urhm, if I can get up, if I can shower, if, if, if.
Yeah, I get it. I have written and said that it doesn't matter how I feel. And it doesn't. But this isn't about feelings. This is about not functioning. My job, should I choose it and I do, is to force an animal the size of a black bear to do a bunch of stupid pet tricks while it is in pain, hungry, and trying to hibernate. You may be more associated with your flesh. I am a junior partner. I pushed it beyond it's limits one... thousand... times too many. Now it jumps when it wants, not when I say. Heck, it can lock me away, for it's or what it thinks is my own good. Yeah. I had it on the cutting bleeding edge once. And, really, it still is, given all. It just isn't interested in playing the fool for other fools, knows it's limits given the new paradigm, and like a mule will stop when it must. Though perhaps if it simply isn't sure. So... I have to negotiate this. I have had a treat day in a while. I may... negotiate on that. Perhaps even an up-front, and pay when the job is done treat. Yeah.
It looks like a nice day. I just need to shower, unload and reload the vehicle, and get in. Get done, today, what I can. Then back in tomorrow and so on until it is all done. I think I can. I do. Plus I really do want it. Even my body wants it. Just stuck. I think I can get out. Later.
.
Simply not well. Not at my worst, though it doesn't take that. All it takes is 20% off my game and I'm pretty much in dirt nap territory. Thing is, I don't die any better than I work or live. I don't feel horrible, or good. Better than even my "Better" post, for as little as that means. I really have to get to things today. Time is running out, tick-tock, and on this front, time is required to mean something. So... In I go. Urhm, if I can get up, if I can shower, if, if, if.
Yeah, I get it. I have written and said that it doesn't matter how I feel. And it doesn't. But this isn't about feelings. This is about not functioning. My job, should I choose it and I do, is to force an animal the size of a black bear to do a bunch of stupid pet tricks while it is in pain, hungry, and trying to hibernate. You may be more associated with your flesh. I am a junior partner. I pushed it beyond it's limits one... thousand... times too many. Now it jumps when it wants, not when I say. Heck, it can lock me away, for it's or what it thinks is my own good. Yeah. I had it on the cutting bleeding edge once. And, really, it still is, given all. It just isn't interested in playing the fool for other fools, knows it's limits given the new paradigm, and like a mule will stop when it must. Though perhaps if it simply isn't sure. So... I have to negotiate this. I have had a treat day in a while. I may... negotiate on that. Perhaps even an up-front, and pay when the job is done treat. Yeah.
It looks like a nice day. I just need to shower, unload and reload the vehicle, and get in. Get done, today, what I can. Then back in tomorrow and so on until it is all done. I think I can. I do. Plus I really do want it. Even my body wants it. Just stuck. I think I can get out. Later.
Eating mistakes.
.
.
A mistake? A group of them.
First, I didn't have the correct seaweed. That should be easy enough to fix. I know a couple of places which might carry it, and I need to be in town, shopping among other things already. If not, I have found what I need at amazon. Next, I didn't do the right things, according to this or the last video. There is an order, a temp range for various things... I messed it up. As well, I did not add enough bonito. Too much would be a bit brutal, too little was simply weak. Beyond that, the beef, when I cooked it in the fat, I cooked it too long and/or too high. Confit is an experiment, mind you. Further, I am well above sea level, meaning all recipes have to be shaken out a bit more than usual.
Even so, to be honest, I wasn't terribly disappointing. I believe, with a bit of work, this will do well. I do not know that I will ever come to love this. I may always see it as eating my medicine. And, yet, even if that is the limit, I am good with it. However, if I can make it a pleasant meal, I would be pleased to have an enjoyable, low-carb, source of potassium... and actually a good source of a lot of good things, if at the price of fairly hefty hits of salt. Just a dab will do.
If nothing else, I really do enjoy tinkering with a new idea in the kitchen. I'd sure like to figure out a recipe that would fill this out, and do right. By the way, I have tried cooked daikon. I believe I will stick to raw. It's okay, just not my thing. Just an update on a recent notion I presented. Now, cooked daikon is not horrible. It just isn't a draw. I ought to check the nutritional content. Perhaps, it too, could be an eaten medicine, or simply a solid source of specific nutrients. I sure like it raw. I love regular red radishes, but there is so little. A daikon radish is like a giant red one. Sliced into sticks, I finally get enough of the radish taste I truly enjoy... just not cooked.
Later.
.
A mistake? A group of them.
First, I didn't have the correct seaweed. That should be easy enough to fix. I know a couple of places which might carry it, and I need to be in town, shopping among other things already. If not, I have found what I need at amazon. Next, I didn't do the right things, according to this or the last video. There is an order, a temp range for various things... I messed it up. As well, I did not add enough bonito. Too much would be a bit brutal, too little was simply weak. Beyond that, the beef, when I cooked it in the fat, I cooked it too long and/or too high. Confit is an experiment, mind you. Further, I am well above sea level, meaning all recipes have to be shaken out a bit more than usual.
Even so, to be honest, I wasn't terribly disappointing. I believe, with a bit of work, this will do well. I do not know that I will ever come to love this. I may always see it as eating my medicine. And, yet, even if that is the limit, I am good with it. However, if I can make it a pleasant meal, I would be pleased to have an enjoyable, low-carb, source of potassium... and actually a good source of a lot of good things, if at the price of fairly hefty hits of salt. Just a dab will do.
If nothing else, I really do enjoy tinkering with a new idea in the kitchen. I'd sure like to figure out a recipe that would fill this out, and do right. By the way, I have tried cooked daikon. I believe I will stick to raw. It's okay, just not my thing. Just an update on a recent notion I presented. Now, cooked daikon is not horrible. It just isn't a draw. I ought to check the nutritional content. Perhaps, it too, could be an eaten medicine, or simply a solid source of specific nutrients. I sure like it raw. I love regular red radishes, but there is so little. A daikon radish is like a giant red one. Sliced into sticks, I finally get enough of the radish taste I truly enjoy... just not cooked.
Later.
Monday, September 26, 2016
Miso hungry?
.
.
Not so much. The title gives it away though. Miso, a Japanese, Asian in general, soup. There are several ways to make it. From "scratch", with a specific sort of miso base, bonito (shaved dried fish chips, which my cats are starting to like), dashi kombu (a specific sort of dried seaweed), and for me this time dried shiitake mushrooms. Now, this doesn't actually make a soup, it makes a stock. As well, there is a form of this which is all incorporated into small granules or pellets which, all on it's own, will produce the stock.
What you add to the stock will depend in part on what you might like with it and what will go with it. I, personally, have no clue, currently. Another form of seaweed will go in, the shiitakes are an add, and I am going to try something different, some smaller dices of beef. That might fly like a lead balloon and yet that is how I do. I won't use tofu. I despise tofu. However, I might try milder fish, seafood, various vegetables, and... who knows. I may well end up not liking it. If that isn't the full point in this case. Why eat this? Potassium. Not just a hit, but a fist, or face, full of it. It can be high in salt, but that is probably less the issue than potassium, and can be mitigated a bit.
.
Not so much. The title gives it away though. Miso, a Japanese, Asian in general, soup. There are several ways to make it. From "scratch", with a specific sort of miso base, bonito (shaved dried fish chips, which my cats are starting to like), dashi kombu (a specific sort of dried seaweed), and for me this time dried shiitake mushrooms. Now, this doesn't actually make a soup, it makes a stock. As well, there is a form of this which is all incorporated into small granules or pellets which, all on it's own, will produce the stock.
What you add to the stock will depend in part on what you might like with it and what will go with it. I, personally, have no clue, currently. Another form of seaweed will go in, the shiitakes are an add, and I am going to try something different, some smaller dices of beef. That might fly like a lead balloon and yet that is how I do. I won't use tofu. I despise tofu. However, I might try milder fish, seafood, various vegetables, and... who knows. I may well end up not liking it. If that isn't the full point in this case. Why eat this? Potassium. Not just a hit, but a fist, or face, full of it. It can be high in salt, but that is probably less the issue than potassium, and can be mitigated a bit.
Better.
.
.
It still feels as if my innards were removed and put back in, but sideways, if at least by someone competent at the task. I have slept enough to feel better about that part of the problem if getting much beyond that might be a bit of a trick. I did get the trash collected and out. Just two bags, perhaps I should have just waited until next week. Still, it was together, and I got it out to the bin with intent, so I just carried on. Whether I got it out in time is to be known soon enough.
A shower, shortly. Dishes are completed, mostly. Dishes are almost only ever mostly done. Even when they are all done, if I plan to used a particular pot, pan, device, or object such as a gravy boat, I may need to wash it, or them. Never ever are dishes completely done. However, at this point, they are merely dirty in place if they are needing a wash. A shower, a trip to town. Once I unload then reload the vehicle. First task will be to drop off the recycling, then get a cleaning, and then check on an oil change and inspection, or get that lined up. Whichever way that goes, then on to tire rotation... or shopping. Too much to do to plan beyond a certain point. I can't do taxes until I get the inspection, so... today, tomorrow, whenever, but best be soon.
.
It still feels as if my innards were removed and put back in, but sideways, if at least by someone competent at the task. I have slept enough to feel better about that part of the problem if getting much beyond that might be a bit of a trick. I did get the trash collected and out. Just two bags, perhaps I should have just waited until next week. Still, it was together, and I got it out to the bin with intent, so I just carried on. Whether I got it out in time is to be known soon enough.
A shower, shortly. Dishes are completed, mostly. Dishes are almost only ever mostly done. Even when they are all done, if I plan to used a particular pot, pan, device, or object such as a gravy boat, I may need to wash it, or them. Never ever are dishes completely done. However, at this point, they are merely dirty in place if they are needing a wash. A shower, a trip to town. Once I unload then reload the vehicle. First task will be to drop off the recycling, then get a cleaning, and then check on an oil change and inspection, or get that lined up. Whichever way that goes, then on to tire rotation... or shopping. Too much to do to plan beyond a certain point. I can't do taxes until I get the inspection, so... today, tomorrow, whenever, but best be soon.
Sunday, September 25, 2016
The pain is soft.
.
.
There is that. I have rested well, often, long. Cool, dark mostly. Even with the sun out today, I think, it just... it was a soft sun. Having to fight through the cool of fall the sun simply seemed mild. No worries. I have, from time to time, broken on through even in the winter. Just not now. I do have to do things this week though. Have to, no choice, if it kills. And, so, I will.
I reset the dishes and have been doing batches of them, off and on. It wasn't, mostly, cooking, eating, used dirty dishes. A couple of them were pots which had simply been sitting for a long time, seriously needed cleaned. Another large batch were tins, round tins with lids. Those have rusted after a couple days of sitting. I am not sure they will work out.
I had hoped to use them for pemmican. If they rusted with just a bit of soaking and washing, they may rust shut fairly quickly. Even if I put wax paper around the pemmican, as planned, having to tear open the tins would make them rather useless. I'll see if there is a work around for that or if those are just shot. I'll also need to find 'tins' I can depend on. While I am hoping to get around a hundred pounds of jerky, I'd like fifty pounds of pemmican. Along with other foods, those things will carry me a long time.
I suspect, if I have a decent supply of some things, and can find a bush pilot I can trust to run me supplies from time to time and has access to my cache, or some of it, what I have currently could last me a good two years without any other foods. Though the goal is to get licenses so as to be able to hunt and fish typically the first year or two, as required, and then switch to sustenance licensing. Though, to be honest, even if I could get all the meat I need, I'd still need fats and I'd still want beef from time to time. Jerky isn't as good as fresh but it would do. And I'd always need supplies. Would rather have them flown out, even at a premium, a few times a year, than have to go to town. Yeah... I think so.
All theory, for the moment. And, yet, I think it's doable. If the world wants to go to hell, let it. I still wish I was further along in my plans. Hillary has a serious shot at the presidency, and then you'll regret it. Though you might well be glad the was wasn't built. Yes, she is that dangerous. And every idiot who thinks the different between the two is little is only fooling, or trying to fool, themselves. She will go after gun rights, she will go after the family, she will go after men, she will go after justice, she will endorse minorities right into their criminality, she will include islam to the harm of Christianity, Judaism, and secularism, and she will finish ending this nation as a nation of laws, reason, logic, and all such. Trump will most likely damage it, just not near to that level. And if he honestly resets immigration and builds the wall? That will cover some of his losses. Hillary has no way to cover the damage she will do. Nothing she offers is good for America or Americans. Yeah, I wish I was out of here already.
Later.
.
There is that. I have rested well, often, long. Cool, dark mostly. Even with the sun out today, I think, it just... it was a soft sun. Having to fight through the cool of fall the sun simply seemed mild. No worries. I have, from time to time, broken on through even in the winter. Just not now. I do have to do things this week though. Have to, no choice, if it kills. And, so, I will.
I reset the dishes and have been doing batches of them, off and on. It wasn't, mostly, cooking, eating, used dirty dishes. A couple of them were pots which had simply been sitting for a long time, seriously needed cleaned. Another large batch were tins, round tins with lids. Those have rusted after a couple days of sitting. I am not sure they will work out.
I had hoped to use them for pemmican. If they rusted with just a bit of soaking and washing, they may rust shut fairly quickly. Even if I put wax paper around the pemmican, as planned, having to tear open the tins would make them rather useless. I'll see if there is a work around for that or if those are just shot. I'll also need to find 'tins' I can depend on. While I am hoping to get around a hundred pounds of jerky, I'd like fifty pounds of pemmican. Along with other foods, those things will carry me a long time.
I suspect, if I have a decent supply of some things, and can find a bush pilot I can trust to run me supplies from time to time and has access to my cache, or some of it, what I have currently could last me a good two years without any other foods. Though the goal is to get licenses so as to be able to hunt and fish typically the first year or two, as required, and then switch to sustenance licensing. Though, to be honest, even if I could get all the meat I need, I'd still need fats and I'd still want beef from time to time. Jerky isn't as good as fresh but it would do. And I'd always need supplies. Would rather have them flown out, even at a premium, a few times a year, than have to go to town. Yeah... I think so.
All theory, for the moment. And, yet, I think it's doable. If the world wants to go to hell, let it. I still wish I was further along in my plans. Hillary has a serious shot at the presidency, and then you'll regret it. Though you might well be glad the was wasn't built. Yes, she is that dangerous. And every idiot who thinks the different between the two is little is only fooling, or trying to fool, themselves. She will go after gun rights, she will go after the family, she will go after men, she will go after justice, she will endorse minorities right into their criminality, she will include islam to the harm of Christianity, Judaism, and secularism, and she will finish ending this nation as a nation of laws, reason, logic, and all such. Trump will most likely damage it, just not near to that level. And if he honestly resets immigration and builds the wall? That will cover some of his losses. Hillary has no way to cover the damage she will do. Nothing she offers is good for America or Americans. Yeah, I wish I was out of here already.
Later.
A new read.
.
.
While I have many books I could read, I was... called. Dante's Inferno. Why? No clue. I even tried to avoid it. Not having the book, I had to find it, then add it to my basket. I may have tried to remove it, or actually removed it, a time or two even. And, yet... The compulsion was grand. Even though I thought it would be just another silly book. Perhaps it will be. I am only two chapters in. Got it late this week, had too much else happening, thought it might disappear into a pile somewhere. Yeah, while feeling a pull, almost a command, I can't say I was all that interested. Actually, I often fight such draws. Sometimes I win. Still might.
I read it long ago. I probably remember... things in, or of, it, rather than passages. I read it before I started with Shakespeare or even finished the whole of the New Testament. I am guessing somewhere between seven and eleven years old. I have had doubts about my readerships, and okay. I have no absolute evidence. The only thing, for myself, I am sure regarding is that my foster father tested my knowledge of the bible. That was, in his belief, because he wasn't sure I understood the King James version. That test wasn't the first year I was there, my eighth grade, but I believe my second year, as a Freshman. The fall of my freshman year, or early winter. I had finished the N.T. two years before, which would have been in the seventh grade, or ~12... right? Actually, make that 13, I was held back a year because my brother and myself were barely a year apart and didn't do well together. Yeah... I had not read all of Shakespeare, never did. But I probably read eight to ten of his plays, with some solid understanding. Remember, I had already had to fight for my life and had already had sex, choosing my first lover when I was five. Yeah, I... understood a bit better, if not, of course, fully. Marriage, a job, things like that, are well above where I was, but not so far above as most of my peers.
I should be honest. Even reading things now, I don't always fully understand. Though, too, I realize that if I don't understand, many others, regardless of what they say or write, also don't understand. Fair enough. I'll take that. I do my best but my best is not good enough. I read the notes in The Inferno. I hope they are more sure. I do not know that. I am guessing I could find very solid dissonance among the various experts, varied so deeply, radically, that I could if I so chose completely write the notes off, if then I might have to do a great deal of research, possibly to include learning the language it was written in from the period... which would also... be problematic, as there are just as great of debates regarding the meanings of words and phrases as there are about the interpretations of translated meanings of things in the book. So... you know... I'll just abide it, unless I disagree. Perhaps, then, maybe, I might seek elsewhere. Ugh.
The bible? I have read the N.T., I think, about six times (cover to cover). As to exposure otherwise, I have been in church through most of my youth and some of my adult life, so have had solid exposure to sermons and readings. And yet... it is a living book. It's truth is singular, I'll grant that. But neither man nor other can know that singular. As well, I think the bible can speak to a moment, even if it doesn't make sense always in context, or out of it, or when fully read... or partially read. It's an amazing book, one which I think the Holy Spirit can guide through. Not an ouji board sort of thing, but a true spiritual thing, from the God of Abraham, moving the reader through the seeking in the Word. But I won't always pretend to know. And those who do... I, at the very least, expect a very humble approach to sorting the meaning. Don't tell me what you were taught by men who were taught who were also taught, none knowing save the Source, for sure. Humility, not certainty.
Why this book. I don't know. I was very powerfully called to it, right over my sometimes bored indifference, ill health, and my want to do other things... real things. I have, to a degree, given up on most books. Bleh. Just... scribblings of mad men. I can do that with the best of them. Perhaps not poetry, if I think very little of poetry. An art for the lazy and indolent... and giants. I'll keep going, see if there are any peanuts ahead.
No real sense to the post. Just... couldn't sleep, read a bit, was pondering why this and that... trying to make sense of things that may have no rhyme or reason. Later or good night.
.
While I have many books I could read, I was... called. Dante's Inferno. Why? No clue. I even tried to avoid it. Not having the book, I had to find it, then add it to my basket. I may have tried to remove it, or actually removed it, a time or two even. And, yet... The compulsion was grand. Even though I thought it would be just another silly book. Perhaps it will be. I am only two chapters in. Got it late this week, had too much else happening, thought it might disappear into a pile somewhere. Yeah, while feeling a pull, almost a command, I can't say I was all that interested. Actually, I often fight such draws. Sometimes I win. Still might.
I read it long ago. I probably remember... things in, or of, it, rather than passages. I read it before I started with Shakespeare or even finished the whole of the New Testament. I am guessing somewhere between seven and eleven years old. I have had doubts about my readerships, and okay. I have no absolute evidence. The only thing, for myself, I am sure regarding is that my foster father tested my knowledge of the bible. That was, in his belief, because he wasn't sure I understood the King James version. That test wasn't the first year I was there, my eighth grade, but I believe my second year, as a Freshman. The fall of my freshman year, or early winter. I had finished the N.T. two years before, which would have been in the seventh grade, or ~12... right? Actually, make that 13, I was held back a year because my brother and myself were barely a year apart and didn't do well together. Yeah... I had not read all of Shakespeare, never did. But I probably read eight to ten of his plays, with some solid understanding. Remember, I had already had to fight for my life and had already had sex, choosing my first lover when I was five. Yeah, I... understood a bit better, if not, of course, fully. Marriage, a job, things like that, are well above where I was, but not so far above as most of my peers.
I should be honest. Even reading things now, I don't always fully understand. Though, too, I realize that if I don't understand, many others, regardless of what they say or write, also don't understand. Fair enough. I'll take that. I do my best but my best is not good enough. I read the notes in The Inferno. I hope they are more sure. I do not know that. I am guessing I could find very solid dissonance among the various experts, varied so deeply, radically, that I could if I so chose completely write the notes off, if then I might have to do a great deal of research, possibly to include learning the language it was written in from the period... which would also... be problematic, as there are just as great of debates regarding the meanings of words and phrases as there are about the interpretations of translated meanings of things in the book. So... you know... I'll just abide it, unless I disagree. Perhaps, then, maybe, I might seek elsewhere. Ugh.
The bible? I have read the N.T., I think, about six times (cover to cover). As to exposure otherwise, I have been in church through most of my youth and some of my adult life, so have had solid exposure to sermons and readings. And yet... it is a living book. It's truth is singular, I'll grant that. But neither man nor other can know that singular. As well, I think the bible can speak to a moment, even if it doesn't make sense always in context, or out of it, or when fully read... or partially read. It's an amazing book, one which I think the Holy Spirit can guide through. Not an ouji board sort of thing, but a true spiritual thing, from the God of Abraham, moving the reader through the seeking in the Word. But I won't always pretend to know. And those who do... I, at the very least, expect a very humble approach to sorting the meaning. Don't tell me what you were taught by men who were taught who were also taught, none knowing save the Source, for sure. Humility, not certainty.
Why this book. I don't know. I was very powerfully called to it, right over my sometimes bored indifference, ill health, and my want to do other things... real things. I have, to a degree, given up on most books. Bleh. Just... scribblings of mad men. I can do that with the best of them. Perhaps not poetry, if I think very little of poetry. An art for the lazy and indolent... and giants. I'll keep going, see if there are any peanuts ahead.
No real sense to the post. Just... couldn't sleep, read a bit, was pondering why this and that... trying to make sense of things that may have no rhyme or reason. Later or good night.
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