Saturday, August 1, 2015

Some things.

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I did shuck the corn, freezing two dozen ears.  I decided to go with six ears per package.  I did two dozen frozen, an half dozen shucked and in the fridge, and an half dozen for dinner.  No burned upper gums this time.  The grain, bean, seed slurry has about another hour before I refresh the soak.  I may or may not refresh it in the morning again.  The idea is there, but I have been waking a bit roughly, and late, recently.  After I change the soak I plan to take a shower, air dry just a bit, then go on to bed.  I simply can't do much else, or push my day much longer.  Dishes, surfaces, and maybe ripping into the refrigerator.  Hopefully enough that, when one of the kefir jugs gets ripe enough for my preferences and needs, I can begin tinkering with kefir cream cheese.

I do believe, in short enough order, I will get some cleaning done.  Taking out the trash tomorrow, and maybe hitting the kitchen.  Another shower or bath.  Then maybe the bathroom, and laundry.  I hope to finish the kitchen, then hit the living room, plus do some shopping later in the evening Monday. 

I have found a source for various types of sources, including raw milk.  There is nothing in Cache Valley.  The closest I have seen is to the east of SLC.  That's just too far.  There are places in Idaho, too.  However I am simply not familiar enough with Idaho to know what might be close enough.  I simply won't drive three hours for raw milk, one way.  I might go and hour, or a bit more, out.  But not much more.  Although, if there are other reasons to visit the area, it might work.  Too bad cross-state fishing licenses are so nasty expensive.  Though there might be hiking paths.

I can tell I will barely be holding on to change the soak.  So I might just take my shower now and crash when I change the soak.  Good night.

Slow.

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But not at a complete stop.  I got lost in research.  And yet, learning about foods, how best to prepare them, old school stuff, and daydreaming a bit about some of these things.  It is amazing how close I have gotten, just by 'blind feel'.  Some have offered fine advice, and even whole new notions.  Both Desert Cat and foam, though others too.  Sometimes I eventually follow up, or even end up going a bit further.  Fair enough, in one sense.  While I am lame, I also have a ton of free time to investigate, experiment, and I don't have others to hold me back (or keep me on a specific track).  Though too, I have no support.  Anyway...

I have the grain mix soaking.  I will probably change out the soak once, though if I catch it in time, I might hit it twice.  Why?  Because it was advised.  Even if I doubt the need, doubt is only the beginning.  I will try it, several times, with at least one change of soak.  And, eventually, because I am lame, I will miss changing the soak, and will cook at eat it as is, and then I will know... or at least have an experimental base of comparison.  So, when I can, I will change the soak, as per instructions.  I don't need this for ease of digestions, or to prevent gas.  I am good that way.  However, if it truly opens up nutrient absorption... well...  It's worth a shot as I see things.  Plus I am simply curious about taste differences.

I purchased three more dozen ears of corn.  I plan on cooking, say, an half dozen for a meal tonight.  A dozen is more than I can handle these days, but six will do fine.  I looked up the advice online for freezing corn.  Most suggest boiling it for a bit, then cooling it off, then stowing it in bags for the freezer.  I called my mother, just to make sure she was sure.  Actually, I was just checking to make sure she hadn't changed her mind... that she still thought stripping and freezing corn, without doing any other fuss, worked just as well as any other prep.  Nope, no changes.  She was so sure, and I am so tired, that I am just going to do as she advises.  Something in the way she... just knows...  I have learned her voice style when she isn't fibbing... mostly. 

With the grain goop soaking, and probably able to get the corn frozen while that which is for dinner cooks, I should be on to a good start.  I'm not sure If I will end up crashing, or then going on to make a jab at the kitchen and living room.  I am idling as if I did a marathon, but... that could be a start, or the end, I just don't quite know yet.  I really hope I dig in, or if not, after a nap, I can hit it.  I really want to get the living room and kitchen knocked out.  Then hit the bathroom.  Then begin putting the living room back together as I experiment with kefir cream cheese, sprouting wheat berries for a breakfast again, and making a few other sprouts (daikon radish first) to experiment with further.  Dr. FoodFrankenstein lately.  I really wish/hope there might be time for me to begin experimenting with true sausages, and cured dried salamis.  Bring the past alive, one meal at a time.

Later.

Rough in the easiest possible way.

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I am doing most things I need to do, should do.  Medicine, almost regular sleep, feeding watering and handling litter for the cat girls.  Much isn't being done, such as house cleaning.  I am prepping food, but not eating much.  I simply can't consume much food.  It is there though.  I sleep until I wake.  And then I am awake until I am not.  I have become weakened, if I am not quite lame.  Some of the weakness is from lack of use of the body, some of it is... just something else.  That weakness you get with the flu, only I don't have the flu.  Must be the heart.  Not even the heat or cool, just the body not being able to work well, fully, right.

The good news is that I am not truly suffering.  I seem to be able to make a minor break from the laemness, if for very short spells and of limited function.  There is no pain.  Really, this is as good as illness gets.  This used to be, by the level of function, what was called health.  It is ugly.  I couldn't imagine when I lived like this as the high, but I can remember it.  I simply didn't know better, and was so lost in it I couldn't tell the difference.  I will keep looking for a way to clean the house, do this, push that.  Just because it is a new vastly improved low, it is still a low.  It must be resisted.

Do your cats ever go on a weirding way, and spook you out?  Do you wish to get them back?  Practicing making kitten sounds.  Get good enough that your cat(s) will come to see what this... problem is.  Get really good at make them wonder.  Then stop doing it in front of them for a while.  Finally, after some time has passed, while eating a larger donut, a drier donut (or roll), make the kitty noise in your mouth, while you chew.  *splendid!*  I weirded both girls out deliciously.  Sassy, the youngest, has been a bit... nervous... ever since.  Keeps looking at my sideways.  Turnaround is fair play.  Though, to be honest, it is pretty rare that they get all spooky on me.  If anything, for some reason, I often spook them... without doing anything that I can tell.

Hmm...  A long sleep, up just a bit then a nap.  I have been awake just a while since but am tired again.  I don't know!  I thought I needed rice, and I do, but not immediately.  I forgot I set up a tray of the mix of beans and rice.  There is enough in that for a month perhaps, give or take.  I know have a full quart of whey water.  So... if I really want to, and I do... and it is about time, and it is... I could soak the mash overnight.  I just want to look over the instructions about how much of this and that.  I think she suggested changing the soak several times.  I think that might be... excessive.  Still, perhaps once, if I remember.

After going over the instructions, and maybe setting up a soak, I may end up napping again.  When I wake from that, I would like to really hit the kitchen and living room.  Clear the floors, clear surfaces, and sweep, mop, and vacuum.  Oh, and get the trash out.  Then a shower and back to bed, maybe.  Ugh.  Later.

Friday, July 31, 2015

Hot today.

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Oh, well, nothing like as hot as it was for a bit, or probably as hot as it will get.  However, it was up into the mid 80's F.  I have definitely been spoiled this summer.  Other than that hot start.  It really mellowed, temp wise, for the last month or so.  Even today is relatively mild, just hotter than it has been.  It absolutely cooked me.  I tried to wake several times but it was simply too hot.  Or... something to do with my health is off?  All I know is that I slept long, and hard, needing both the ac and the fan, plus the door closed.  Even then I am feeling a bit off.

I am not sure what is going on with the blog.  This month, according to the counter, I received almost 2,700 pageviews.  That is around six hundred over my previous high, which itself was my second highest in all my time of blogging.  I have had over 2k two times other than this and last month.  I think the highs then drop to an 1,800, then they really drop.  Who knows why more visitors this month and few that.  The last three years, visitations have been averaging higher.  I would guess it's about 1,500 on average, per month.  What is strange is that there are so few comments, and of those... those who comment do not appear as having visited.  Whatev's.  :p

A very long sleep today.  I kept trying to wake.  I was able to void several times, as need required.  I simply could not stay awake.  Donuts?  Nah, I only had two last night.  I really think it was just the heat.  I dreamed.  Not much stayed.  It would be akin to thinking back on years of working in an office, in a lab, in a shop, or some such.  I remember images, and having had discussions if not so much what was discussed... just... life passing by in dream form.  I seemed to dream, pretty much, the whole time I was asleep (my perception after waking, how much any of that is real is a whole other issue).

I messed with making more kefir.  These next batches aren't needed for consumption.  I merely plan to attempt to make kefir cream cheese.  I have nearly a full quart of whey water to tinker with as well.  I should cook... dang it, forgot to buy brown rice.  And I need more quinoa.  I have plenty of beans and lentils, but the others are low or out.  If I can push through, I'll try to make it to town tomorrow.  I go through that stuff fast enough, now, that I could buy in bulk.  I'll run through half a five gallon bucket in three to six months.  It pays to buy in bulk.

I just did my Amazon order.  Someone suggested something about all that.  After a bit of thinking, I think they were right.  Anyway...  The next thing I might do is order the grain mill.  Silver, perhaps, next month.  The month after that, a long road trip.  Then, this winter, an electric grain mill for the start of actual use of my stored grains, and rotation of all that.  Along with why water, kefir, and right cider vinegar for soaking, I will begin eating even a bit more correctly than before.  Yeah, strange, to some... even to me... but... something seems right about it.  Yeah... it isn't just the grain problem, but the prep problem.  People used to have excesses of this and that, and learned to use it.  My body is superior.  It can handle that.  But how much nutrition is it honestly getting, especially as ill as I am?  And more, how much nutrition is anyone actually getting, without treating foods correctly? 

I am curious.  I am doing very well for my condition.  But how much better can I do?  Some of this might end up being fiction, or too difficult to maintain.  Or... it might work out quite well and become just how I cook and eat for the rest of my life, however long or short that is.  Later.

Out, for what it was worth.

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It's been a while.  And it was tough.  When I go to ground, crawling back out of the hole, just on it's own, is a bit of a trick.  Tossing in shopping and I get what I get.  It read 81 F in the early afternoon, here, before the shower, recovery from that, and then the trip in.  As I was leaving town, the readings suggested it was still 81 F in town.  So, yeah.  It is, at least lately, cooler here than there.  It is amazing how much cooler it can be out of the "city".  And that is simply not a very big city, it isn't very industrialized, it isn't stacked, it is well treed, it even has farming and ranching acreages within the city limits.  And still it can be ten degrees warmer or more, depending on a few things.  It is never cooler, save sometimes in the winter when a storm blows past us out in the open and runs into the mountains that back the town.  That isn't even all that common given the shape and size of the valley, along with normal weather patterns. 

Anyway...  It wasn't so much, for example, picking up the five gallons of milk.  It was putting them into the cart, checking and helping bag them, carrying them in, putting them up until it was time to juggle some of them in order to mess with the kefir grains I had been growing, and putting away the last of the last of the two gallons I ended up using (one of the gallon jugs was mostly used already).  I did, however, get half of a pint jar full of whey water, and might get more before long.  While I have lemon juice, and I bought some of the "raw" cider vinegar, that will give me something else to experiment with when soaking grains, seeds, or such, overnight.

Which reminds me, I need to consider ordering the wheat grinder.  I will be ordering the manual one first.  But I will, also, most likely, also order an electric one.  Simply put, the manual one would only honestly be used if that was all I had.  It's just too much damn work and fuss, when I have a hard time just lumping it out of my chair to go into the garage and figure something fairly simple out.  Yeah, heat.  Yeah, mostly dead heart.  Yeah, yeah, yeah.  My... never mind.  Right or wrong, true or false, good or bad, I...  If it comes to manual use, guess what?  Those with tin grinders, which wear out or can't keep up?  For every lot of their grain they do, they do my lot first.  Deal?  Yeah...  That is how capitalism was born, boys and girls.  Someone stuck some coin in, took a risk, then offered others a bit of the profits for all of the work.  Urhm, give or take.

I also found several packs of cheesecloth.  I probably got taken, price wise, but not having to stop at another store was worth it, for now.  I bought enough so that I can practice making some things, just to have on hand in case something else comes up, and specifically to produce dairy kefir cream cheese.  I am curious, now.  Food can be fun.  I won't do absolutes, as I suggested.  Not having had a dessert in a while, I purchased strawberries and pound cake.  I always have cream for the whipping on hand.  I also bought donuts!  I eat those so rarely, at least compared to the times my eyes yearn and I dance on by.  Yeah, two already.  But that will be it for donuts tonight.  Hopefully I'll get the strawberries set up tomorrow.  Oh, and I purchase pure cain sugar tonight.  Same calories, same carbs... not sure if it will be any different, honestly.  Still I was curious and it was right there.  I just hope it doesn't have that nasty maply flavor.  I love that, from time to time, but wouldn't want it in everything I use sugar.  I also looked for cut leaf stevia.  All I could find was stevia extract put on some chemical or other.  Flavored chemical!  Yum!  I'll... keep looking.

Well...  I didn't just sit.  I wanted to.  I didn't just go and return.  I've already used some of what I bought, and put the rest away.  I have the Xt'er outside, in case I can make it out to work on the boat.  No promises.  If I can't do it, I'll try to remember to back her into her favorite place before the sun comes out and does bad things.  We'll see.  Later.

Thursday, July 30, 2015

Oh, right?

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It seems to have warmed up a bit more today.  It hit 81 F (~27 C), at least.  Still, to be honest, that isn't bad.  But inside the cave, from it being cool lately, it only got up to 71.5 F, give or take... last I checked... etc.  I thought I would use the cool to get going on things but that just wasn't in the cards.  I was enjoying the cool, and resting.  Between needing to cool off, and not being able to handle the change as well as I thought, I have just been enjoying an involuntary vacation.  Or, involuntary at first.  Eventually I have just... let go and enjoyed the time.

I am... hoping to get back into the ball game.  So much of what I want to do requires that I do even more.  Finding trails, with maps that don't really seem to be righteous...  Setting up a kayak cover from scratch... while learning knots, how to do tie-offs technically, and some other things... from whole cloth... it's just too much, or has been.  Research hasn't helped much.  I just can't find others who have worked this gig and discussed how to, or not to, do this or that... or where to go, exactly.  Still, I'm hoping to get back in the game.  I'm almost feeling it.

My mother called recently.  I finally noticed, so called back.  Phone tag... could be worse.  When it relates to getting something done it is quite frustrating.  When it is just a care check, knowing that whoever is reaching back, even if you are missing the connection is (usually) good enough.  It will eventually solve.  Sometimes though, if some worry about a specific person is in the mind, that can be just as frustrating.  Anyway, this time it was all good.  And, tonight, that was covered.  I was bragging up kefir.  My mother loves yogurt, and to my surprise raw yogurt.  I think I will be creating a new fan of kefir.  Anyway, just chatter and updates, and good vibes.  You know... I think, for the most part, finally, she actually realizes she enjoys hearing from me.  And, more and more over the last few years, and decade.  It's mostly good news, and I haven't even died again in a coon's age it seems.  All health threats have been... well...  proven to be, so far, greatly exaggerated.  Technically I am so far beyond a death sentence, and carried out, that the threat just doesn't mean anything.  So, yeah, calls are mostly good.  Plus, she knows, one way or another, if it takes a bit, I have her covered if she gets into a spot.

Today?  A shower, a trip to the store, a meal out but also fixing some brots later this evening.  For sure I think.  Then maybe a bit more cleaning.  Getting ready for food prep tomorrow.  This time I will soak the beans, quinoa, and rice (hmm... add brown rice to the shopping list)... in a bit of vinegar (whole... add that to the shopping list too).  Those will be soaked, then set up for cooking tomorrow.  Hopefully, if soaked, they will cook more quickly and more evenly.  Brots, chops, burger, and fish (if I could find some that isn't from China), along with grain goo and eggs, really makes weekly cooking easy.  And, if I want a spot of something special, usually that is easy...  Just haven't been keeping up enough for that lately.  Ah well, maybe I'll get back into the swing of it.

Wednesday, July 29, 2015

No news and bad news, so far.

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No news regarding the static interest rate.  Just no information back.  I then contacted the store about top or bottom round.  I paid... $3.50 a pound, I do believe.  When I called today, the offer was $5.60.  Yeah... I'll wait.  I guess I will check weekly, check other sources, and wait.  I simply won't pay that much.  I hate paying that much for ribeye, if I haven't paid that little for it since the early part of the oughts.  Definitely not going to be buying beef until I can find a reasonable price.  That is the worst meat on the steer, as I see things.  Technically offal and bone meat is worse, but I'd take tripe, tongue, ribs, bones, and heart for sure over top or bottom round... as foodstuffs.

Hmm...  I'll just keep checking, I guess.  If I see a good price, I will buy in bulk, have it packaged to five pound packs, and work it out over time.  It's all I can do.  On the good side, after dehydrating, I can vacuum seal and then freeze it.  Even a hundred pounds of jerky, packed as I plan, won't take up much space.  I am thinking, without having done research, that fifty pounds (of jerky, not the beef to process) would easily be enough for a year, for one, even my size.  So, generally, so far, a hundred pounds after jerked, is the goal.  That will take between two hundred twenty and two hundred fifty pounds of raw beef.  Yeah...  Then again, it's not exactly like they are handing out frozen vegetables either.  And while whole grain rice, lentils, and black beans are cheap, quinoa is usually in the $5 plus per pound bracket as well.

Oh, hey... about kefir, and another thing to do with it?  Yeah, I know it's strange stuff.  I plan on ordering a 5 liter crock for making cabbage, pickles, and a few other things, this month.  If that works well, I might buy another, or a larger, or several larger and same sized, crocks in the future.  Just make one batch, "can" it in canning jars, and do another product after that.  Kefir can be used to extract liquid whey (ferment water, as I call it) which helps the process for various types of fermentation.  It's sort of fun to make your own food, store various things you like (especially if you are a grower).  It's the ant versus grasshopper mentality.  While I have some limits, I can help the growers by spending on their efforts, and then store that.  You can't do everything, but you can help in the process one way or another.  To enjoy sauerkraut you need to be at least ^this tall and like cabbage to start.  But for pickles, or a new one to me is lacto-fermented salsa.  This gal, while attractive, intelligent seeming, informative, and some other good things... is also a little spooky to me.  Still, from what I have read and seen, she seems to be okay, as does her presentation.  Never mind, and no offense.  She just seems a little... intense?  Indoctrinal?  Anyway, her spot is pretty good, or this one.

I can't believe how cool it is.

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It's almost like fall in mid-summer.  Oh, enjoying it.  But it is sort of kicking me off my feet.  Sleep was good, if it didn't happen until really late.  No dreams, no fuss, just solid sleep.  The girls made enough noise to wake me about mid-sleep.  Not needing the fan or ac, at least when I go to bed, their sounds aren't drowned out by the fan, ac, and air flow.  But it still won't get them fed.  If you feed cats when you wake up they will keep trying to wake you up earlier and earlier.  I give them four to six hours, and make it variable so they can't really try to time even that, before feeding them.  It works.  They are just being fussy because my days and nights are rotating a bit, and they can count time to some degree. 

I checked to see if the deal had gone through on my home.  It seems the number they arrived at, for a 28 year payment plan, was over 20% (if I have it right) of an increase over the payments I had been on.  Which, is only a problem for bankers who want you to spend your income on "stuff", and more, borrow based on that income for "more stuff".  I was already almost doubling the old payment on my own.  Can't see where a 20% would be a problem.  Further, whatever else happens, I will probably be jumping to 200% of the new payment, and maybe up to 250% by January.  If all else fails, they simply have to go back to the 30 (instead of 28) year schedule, which means (technically) a lower payment... but which won't matter a bit to me, since their calculate payment will have little to do with how much I end up paying, that being based on how much unused income I'd rather pay on the cave than spend.  :p  I am curious how fast doubling, or doubling and an half, would increase the payoff.  I'd have to see the numbers first, though, all of them.  Is that interest per year or how is it processed, what is the final, for sure, debt amount?  Then I could toy with an actuarial calculator, or formula.  It's difficult to find a calculator, online, that doesn't require cookies, few of them show as trustworthy, and even those that do are trackers.  :p

I was asked to send a paystub and w-2.  I suggested he get ahold of the Navy, they were the last to issue such.  Don't they read the files they are working on?  I did let him know my income total per month/year, and where those were derived.  I'll check, shortly, to see if that has been tended. 

I also wish to call my store and get 30# of meat ordered and to be sliced.  That's a lot o' meat to just buy, more so to slice.  It might take a while.  If it's too big of an order, I suppose some other arrangement can be made.  I should figure out how much jerky is advised for a year or two.  Just sitting at home, a packet, say three to four ounces, is pretty good for a day.  Along with other stuff.  On the trail, more would be required.  Probably double, and a lot more other food as well.  Still, it would be good to get a perspective, say from what a mountain man might order for his season out, or a trapper.  Mind you, most of these men were small.  Definitely smaller.  Most were in the 5'6" range, and 130-150 pounds.  That was normal, and actually larger than most of their European contemporaries.  So doubling the order wouldn't be impractical at all... and then some.  I want to get a couple of years of food laid up, some of it in easy travel form.  Actually, probably a couple years of various stuff in that precise form.

Today though?  Bleh.  A call to place an order on meat, then... I don't know.  The cool, the heat, the changes, I'm sort of blasted and beat down.  Life is good though, so there is that.  I just can't seem to get to much.  I'll... keep... looking for opportunities.  Later.

Tuesday, July 28, 2015

Long odd nap.

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The cool continued.  It seems to have crashed the system a bit.  All good.  As I said, I don't adjust quickly.  I will adjust, and back, but... well...  I was having an argument, in a dream, with myself, when the call came in.  An answer in many forms.  It woke me but I was losing the "more sleep" side of the dream argument anyway.  Odd that the call would have been on the other side of that argument.

Still a bit fuzzy, I groused about for something to eat.  I had a last bag of the last batch of jerky.  Oh, and I made coffee, but had fallen to slumber before I could enjoy it.  In spite of the meat having been a bit... rough... the jerky really did turn out just fine.  However, being unsure from the start, I really didn't want to use it for pemmican.  And I didn't want to store it long.  I simply didn't trust it.  Enough to eat it, or risk eating it, quickly, but not more.  I need to get an order in for Friday, Saturday, or Monday pick-up, depending on when they can prep 30# of the meat, sliced.  I have the dryness down.  I next need to work on the marinade.  I have been adding pepper flecks and black pepper.  Both are great for jerky, I don't know that I would want that in pemmican though.  And that is my next objective.  I did order tins with my last orders, so have a number of those.  Wax paper and tins will do well.  I just need to really figure out how to grind the jerky, after figuring out the flavor that will work best.

While I was in the computer room, waking up, something... was causing a minor fuss.  I could have sworn I saw a bird.  Still dreaming?  I would have doubted it, I only saw something out of the side of my eyes, far, at a 90 Degree to my viewing angle.  And just for a split-second.  When I did a minor investigation I could find no evidence, but I couldn't really get down on the ground to look under some shelves and around some weights down there.  Not full of gumption on top of things, just waking, mind you.  I was just about to call it a figment thing when I saw Sassy peak out around a curtain.  She was hunting.  And she was trying to hide her intent from me.  Now I know part of how my mother knew every dang thing I was up to!

I simply could not find that bird, after looking and looking and...  What was it, I thought.  A roadrunner!  Gah!  I looked several times, using umbrellas (closed, duh) to gently try to get scare a small creature out of where it might be hiding.  Several times I got a notion of where it might be and went in for it.  Hey, don't look at me funny, even Sassy couldn't catch the thing when I would give up for a bit.  Definitely a roadrunner (of the lbb varietal (llb = (in official terms) little brown bird... with some gray as well, as it turned out... for those of you taking a census)).  Anyway, I did eventually find it.  I heard it skitter under the bookshelves behind me.  There were no objects for it to hide amongst below those shelves, but they were low and it was dark.  Still, a very short bit of gentle searching brought me face to face with the interloper.

The poor thing was done.  It seemed blind.  At least one wing was done.  Perhaps a leg was broken.  Hit by a car, and maybe Sam snuck it through baggage check?  Yeah, she does that sometimes.  It's not so much to bring in a bag lunch past the overpriced movie gedunk counter as to bring Sassy something new or exciting.  As much as Sam seems, at times, to hate Sassy, she really doesn't.  She's "mom", and not by choice, and with only one brat at home and a big one at that.  Sam honestly does her best, but ensures just who is in charge, is all.  Anyway, yeah.  In one sense, I don't mind.  I just wasn't trusting that, after killing it, Sassy would have fully eaten it.  So... out it went.  Sam can be sneaky when she wants to be.  Sassy not so much.  :p

Ah, with the answers I needed, I can be sure to begin getting ready to go, and with as much speed as possible.  I was 90% on that as was, and it wasn't going to matter if timing might have been a consideration.  Coincidences end up not so much saying as asking... and receiving.  I don't have the answers, always, but someone else might.  Trick is to get them to spill it.  Now it's fire at will and forget.  It's a lot easier this way.  I may end up back in bed fairly quickly.  A strong cooling and it seems I lose my legs.  Although, if I hit a cooling patch that lasts longer... like into tomorrow... and I sleep up and get rested from the heat... I just might make a break for some hiking path.  Yes, my gear is ready.  I'm not fit, but who says you will be?  While I can't find one path, I know of some others.  It is time to begin bucking up.  But first... *YAWN*

Later.  *yawn*

YAWN!

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Boy am I sleepy.  *yawn*  If I could take a nap right now, I would.  A terrible thing to say.  I know many of you might be wanting to take a nap too, but can't.  *yawn*  Work.  *yawn*  Home life.  People expecting this or that.  Thankfully for you?  *yawn*  I actually can nap.  I'll take one for you AND for me.  I hate being retired, but since I am, I might as well enjoy some of the fringe benefits. 

Later!  After my nap.  *yawn*

Incidents and accidents.

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Creating the post last night was a snap.  One thing hit, everything else fell in place.  It was a matter of finding the right video, when there was an option.  The songs just... where there.  Once together, I spent an hour putting in the words.  Reviewing, then editing.  Then, because it seemed to oddball, I took it down and then put it back up several times.  Finally, just on the face of it, I left it up.  I was watching it a few more times when I finally just watched the last video.  Horror of horrors!  I pulled it immediately.  I... had not seen... the words.  I chose the song, added a request for lyrics, then played mahjong while that played.

Neither confirming nor denying, only not sure that should... well... especially by coincidence.  I pulled the post then went to bed.  A little prayer.  I was too tired for anything else.  And yet, I woke, drudged through restarting the machine, and then posted the thing again.  Back to bed, a bit more prayer.  I wanted to pull it but couldn't get back out of bed.

Amusing?  The force is with or against me?  God moves in mysterious ways?  A simple set of coincidences?  From one confused flier of the skies of life to another?  I have no sure truth to spare you.  It is what it was.  Although, looking back on it, watching myself, in truth Doom, hopping from one foot to the other while trying to figure out the briar we had settled myself into was, in retrospect, entertaining.  You think I am only cruel with you?  Anything, to be true, starts at home.  Anyway, at this point, what is done is done.  Right, now you know.  I am just as trapped in unlikely probabilities as how it may seem that I am trying to trap you.  Coincidences that can't be.  And I don't believe in them.

I didn't sleep well.  It really did trouble my mind.  The oddity of the post, and then the catch.  I did my best.  Tossing and turning, never feeling quite asleep, or awake.  I couldn't get comfortable of mind or body.  I eventually just got out of bed, never having felt to have rested but seeing less hope for it any time soon and with a cranky body, if nothing else, I could stretch for a bit.  It got cool last night.  I saw it down to 51 F, though I won't swear that was the low (according the the e-therm).  I should have slept like a baby.  Burn, though, baby... burn.

All good.  I'll... fiddle, a bit, then hopefully release some of the soreness.  When I am less of a twitch-knot, I may go back in and nap a bit.  Still wondering if I might get firebombed.  In some, perhaps many, ways, that wouldn't be the first time.  *wink*  Go on, hate if you must.  Later.

Changes.

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The old way.  Unholy fire.

Monday, July 27, 2015

Quite a good day.

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No, no work.  Many, most, things were good however.  It has been cool all day, even with some solid sunlight.  That is a good mix, even if I hide in the shadows of my cave, I do notice, and enjoy, at a bit of a distance when necessary.  Dinner was exceptional.  And presented with smiles.  One more of a surprise than the other, though one never quite knows what to expect in the world.  It is never known why this, or that, then, or now.  If knowledge is not only not necessary, it is totally unnecessary, in order to act.  Faith and good will is all that is required.  Risks manage themselves.  If that doesn't make you grin right over a grimace I don't think I can help you.  You are welcome.

The only thing that seems to be of a slight issue is some problem between blogger and Pale Moon.  Perhaps dealing with google too.  Not exactly sure.  To keep track of the numbers, if not who, is on my blog, I like my account not to count my own visits.  However, every time I update Pale Moon I have a problem getting blogger to switch to my preference.  The last time this happened I was able to empty cache, and a few other things such as search history, and that settled the score.  That isn't working this time.  I have checked cookies, and attempted to open up a few other security measures for the page, to no good ends.  Every time I update PM I run into this problem.  But the solution doesn't seem to be the same each time, no singular problem it seems.  Unless the same problem can be solved uniquely per incident?  Doesn't seem likely. 

I hope to have it figured out before long.  I like listening to music on various of my pages, but don't like messing with the counter.  This month looks to be a record.  I am not completely certain about the count legitimacy...  I have some wonder if it is being manipulated.  If too, I believe far more counts are not counted at all, somehow.  I am not doing this for numbers, or profit.  You notice no advertising or even "tip" button.  Keep your money, buy camping gear, feed the poor, store up even a bit of food... that is my gain.  If you are really rich?  How about a new computer?  Just send it via email.  :p  I think this one, somehow, is already crapping out.  Hrm?  Yes, a joke.  I don't have a... computer printer!

Oh, which reminds me.  Blogger left some sort of comment suggesting that I am required to make sure that Europeans can see what cookies I am using.  But that, if I am using cookies that aren't theirs, or regularly used, or summit like that, that their cookie cutter (see, but no pun , mostly) solution won't work.  Problem is, I can't even get their system to work on my computer in the US, due to cookies not working rightly, so how...  Never mind.  All I'm saying is, if you are in Europe, you may not be able to read here anymore.  I think... to be honest... that was the intent.  Should be interesting to see who blinks on that first.  You kill the goose that lays the golden eggs, guess what?  The question is, who is getting the gold.  Or more, what is the split.  If, as I suspect though, all that gold is fairy fart and crispy unicorn pie in the sky speculation about how much they could get if they would get it.  Never mind, you... wouldn't believe me if I told you.  Which I just did.  See?  :p

Yeah, a bit of humor tonight.  What can I say, it's been a good day.  Later.

Rain.

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After the heat from the last few days, I went to bed hard.  Ac was running full blast, fan too.  I'm not a delicate snow flower, just mostly dead.  I don't have formaldehyde, methanol, and or ethanol running... or sitting in... my veins yet, if some might debate that.  In any case, the heat isn't my friend.  Waking and heading out, I was expecting the usual minor heat wave.  Compared to the outside, my home is okay.  But compared to my ac bedroom it is usually at least fairly warm.  It took the full path to the bathroom to notice, and the way back to figure it out.  Since I have lived here, summer rain... at least to my memory... has been a rarity.  Especially this later in the summer.  Though we have been in a drought, pretty much, since I got here.  Maybe that is turning around?

I dreamed I met a woman who looked a lot like Crystal Gayle, but when she was in her 20's.  Long long hair, remember.  Linda Rondstadt and her where favorites at one time.  There was another woman in that group for a while.  Not that they were a group, just that they hit fame in, what seems to me, to be the same time.  Or, more likely, became known to me at about the same time.  Remember how long her hair used to be?  Anyway, in the dream she was a giantess.  Not quite as tall as me, but in heals she was nearly eye to eye.  She, her children, and her fiancee, were in the rooms next to me.

It... was an interesting dream.  More questions were asked than answers given.  And yet it was quite... profound.  I won't discuss what was discovered in the dream.  Mine.  And it wasn't one of those funny dreams, rarely dream those.  Very rarely.  But the interplay between myself and women is often put out for discovery.  So little of that is what it seems either.  It is what it must be, for many reasons, as difficult as that is for both parties.  No matter how well that is reviewed, researched, discovered, uncovered, and experienced, it can never be known.  A trick, a trap, but one with true meaning and the best of intentions which are fulfilled in children.  Not to be understood.  That's part of the rub, part of what keeps it interesting.

Never mind.  A cup of coffee, perhaps a bite of jerky, to enjoy a rare rainy day, and... look around the world, blogs, and maybe listen to music.  Have a great day.  Later.

Sunday, July 26, 2015

Helping me as you will.

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I do understand.  The generous gift of thoughts, prayers, concern.  You know who and what you are, you are sure of many things.  You have great sympathy for those who are afflicted, for whatever reason.  Many of you have a Don, of sorts.  I am that to many who read here.  Sometimes what I do or say causes great pain and anger, many of my comments on other blogs do the same.  Some of you have given up on me.  Some have gone so far as to hate.  Some of you almost, however, have it.  It really doesn't concern me, in one senses.  Eventually, however, it will dawn on you.  I may not even really exist.

Dinner arrived.  A bit of a discussion.  I am amazed what I hear and see.  I am quite sure I baffle people.  Not a few, or many, but most.  I realize they do question... perhaps even my sanity.  Many here, online, do.  Certainly the younger set, but not those alone.  I think of myself as quite simple.  Unsophisticated, really.  And I am.  I don't claim a patent to much of my thinking.  Actually, I am positive it was written by Another.  Well, it is my aim.

Some people cannot be debated these days, even in the better understanding of the term.  Anyone who knows that they cannot be wrong, beside having no capacity to discuss a thing, is already wrong.  That beside the notion that they might call in a report regarding your illegal, now, beliefs.  I wonder how many parents have children who have reported their words from home?  Do you have a file?  Add in your doctor, perhaps your lawyer, and any number of sources.  Where do you think the feds are getting a racial, and who knows what other, file on typical US citizens?

When you try to discuss the fact that evil is out of control, most people don't seem to believe.  We have an IRS which illegally kept non-profit status from opposition political groups who had a right to that under the law, and further targeted audits based on donor rolls.  Most of those people are still employed and the practice continues, three years after it broke.  Christians are being forced by law, and fined excessively, for not submitting to the requests of what can only be called evil.  Homosexuals are being allowed to "marry", and given children to adopt, in spite of the huge increase in pedophilia and other damage to children in such cases.  If you speak out against this, even in your home, are your children reporting you?

Funny, the people who tried to give rights to these people did so on the premise that the government doesn't have a right to tell you what you could do in privacy, while stripping everyone else of their privacy to enforce it now.  Man...  Yeah.  I am Don.  And, soon, I will be gone.  I hope you figure out my problem before I have to go.  Later.

Hot and again.

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I had hoped to go to town yesterday.  It was simply too hot.  Even right here, in the cave, with the ac going and fans moving that around, it was simply too hot.  Today is the same.  The electric thermometer read 86 F, outside, 75 inside.  First, that seems to be a little low on the inside read, just by feel.  Of course, there are other variables involved, and subjective versus objective sensations.  Still... I'm betting money it's warmer than the reading, for one reason or another.  Just too hot.

I did get a good long shower in.  Braided my hair so it is up off my back and neck.  And, pretty much, with no place to go and no need to dress right away, air dried like a thankful hound.  All ready, pretty much, in case someone visits at this point.  Too tired for a bath, but I can still get some of that olive oil, salt, and essence bath goo into play.  It really does help.  Not sure how it might help, or hurt, in humid regions.  But in dry areas, even for guys, it really helps.  If you use liquid castile soap, that really dries out the skin too.  I use it because it is cheaper and less wasteful, but it is terribly drying.  I've started adding a bit of olive oil to that soap and it has helped with that too.  Right now I'm adding a third soap, water, and olive oil.  I may switch that up to 1/2 soap to an half consisting of 2/3rds olive oil and 1/3rd water.  Have to shake it before use, but that's no biggy.  Beats extremely dried out hands.

Not much else is going to happen today.  It is simply too hot.  This may well be how the rest of summer is.  Possibly worse, hotter.  I won't complain too much.  Summer, so far, for the most part, has been fairly moderate.  It simply seems as if summer is hitting peak, and probably going to stay that way until fall.  Later.

A bit of rest.

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I had hoped to get to town today, for more corn.  It was simply too hot.  I knew town would be hotter.  Sure, I could have gone, maybe.  Though maybe not.  I did cook the last of the corn.  It won't go bad.  I was a little more patient with letting it cool.  Since I didn't do too much damage with that first batch of corn, cooled this batch, and took it slowly on top of it, it worked just fine.  A glass of kefir, the first in a while, as I woke from my nap.  Good enough.  The thing with kefir is, if you keep in in the fridge a couple of days, it seems to separate.  If you shake to mix, it gets very thick.  So I strain it when pulling some off.  I don't separate kefir grains out, I really do get them the first time.  But what does happen, is the curd is cut again which really smooths out the drink.  I much prefer it smooth to lumpy.  Though... I am sure some will like the lumps.  And, maybe, from time to time, for something different, lumps would be okay.  I actually like lumps in my oatmeal, or other hot cereals.  Texture.

Sleep is a bit off, but in the summer I sort of expect that... or at least it doesn't surprise me.  Given that it is nearly August and I am only off by half a day (if still migrating), I am fine.  The ac and fans help.  I am able to get enough good sleep, and mostly in single period of rest.  Tonight was the first night I just napped a bit then woke.  It is a very good summer, just a bit too hot for me to want to play or work.

Strange dreams.  The last one I remember, which just wasn't all that memorable, was being each member of a household just long enough to figure out what their wants and desires were over what made them happy or unhappy about their home, family, and community.  An odd thing, if interesting to me in a minor way.  Only a few things that aren't obvious, and not with all.  It seems, no matter how good life is, there is always want for more.  The digging for more, however, ends when enough needs, then wants, weigh one down.  That doesn't end the want, should it come within easy picking range, and the cost seem reasonable or the mind get overwhelmed by hunger.

As to the possible responses?  Even if opposite, whether by a primary or not, they could easily be by the same source, especially if that source is a woman.  Woman... live on opposite sides of their own streets.  Getting a yes and a no in the same sentence, on the same question, is not, at all, uncommon.  This drives common men mad.  Once you learn to use this to do as you please, this is not a problem at all.  By default, because of it, in her mind (she has selective memory as well, but about her answers), you will always be capable of being wrong.  If you can live with being wrong, which I can, then life will be fine.  Just... saying.  As I suggested, I doubt, if I don't actually know, or care.  That is part of a story line, the way the rose of a woman from an artist's past, who he poses from this... her... present... into a painting of his hope... the two don't necessarily have anything in common.  A muse is not always a lover or wife.  Sometimes... she just is, for a moment.  A thought, a present reality conflated with a past one, melded into a form... but for a moment and just as a contemplation to share an idea or ideal through.

Yes, the devil if I do, the devil if I don't, and holding all the cards.  Can't lose.  Don't bet if you can't, won't, win.  *wink*  Besides, before another return there is a very good chance, if not an absolute, that I will be gone.  I am hoping so, if I'm not quite sure.  I've got a lot to sort out, a few things to arrange, and these aren't small or easy or quick things.  Several, many, decisions to make between now and then.  Even when decisions have been made, making those decisions fact is another layer.

A bit of music, some research, blogging, and perhaps an enjoyably cool evening.  Later.