Very good.

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The chicken turned out to be excellent.  I feared it would be old, or long refrigerated, or... off.  Now, I did brine it.  For an hour.  Just salt and water, nothing fancy.  I dried it very well, before wrapping it in foil.  I made two different areas, within the foil, and spiced each differently.  One was more thyme, basil, tarragon, salt and pepper?  The other was similar, but with cayenne ground pepper.

I had one of each, if I think I had two of the plainer spiced pieces.  It was excellent.  As well, a potato, with butter and creme fraiche.  I'm telling you, creme fraiche really is a good thing.  The meal was superb.  I couldn't eat another piece, though, if I wished it.  I can't imagine how much the world has changed.  Three drumsticks and a potato completely filled me?  Almost to the point of being stuffed?  All good, I suppose.

I did do a bit of dishes.  Not quite going to do more.  Not today.  Maybe not tomorrow.  I am absolutely bruised, battered, and spent.  Not sure how that is possible.  But, I guess, getting out of the house five or six times in the last week or so is more than you, or I, could imagine.  Given my condition.  I am alive, but just.  Brutal, but glad of it.  I just can't go much further.  Rest, for a bit.

I did do one small thing.  I did get seeds to soaking, drained and rinsed them, then set up one batch in the tiered sprouting sets.  Every few days I will do another tier.  In four to six days, they should be done.  Rinsing them each night and morning.  Then, when they are done... pulling them, rinsing them in vinegar, then storing them.  If you don't clear and clean them right at maturity, they can get really nasty very quickly.  I'll try to pay closer attention this time.

It took a while to learn how to do kefir.  It is taking some time to get the hang of sprouts.  These are good foods, worth the effort.  But there is a trick to them.  No, as I have suggested, I am not a hippie.  I am not even really a foody.  Though I will taste almost anything.  And, if it is locally available and good, I may add it to my menu.  But, really, I am simply more concerned about eating more rightly, tending my body... weak as it is, ill as I am.  It's... more a responsibility than it is... a luxury, or even joy.  I do enjoy food, and try to really enjoy it more by eating rightly.  But it's more about tending my body in a way that I can.  Some people treat their pets better than they treat their own bodies.  I try to do similar, for both.  Even got Sassy to lose weight, and am trying to encourage health and weight loss in my own body.  Not... successfully, yet.  But... the idea is there.

Tomorrow I will redo the kefir with a mix of half of the last of the milk, split between the jars, a quarter into each jar, plus a similar amount of raw milk.  Two days of that, then I'll be on pure raw milk.  Hopefully that works out.  As soon as possible, after that, I will then cut out enough grains for a third jar.  I do... enjoy playing with, and making to a degree, my own food.  I'd love to garden, but it's... not possible.

A bit more gaming.  Food needs to be put up.  A bit more to drink.  Then on to bed.  I'll try to get a shower tomorrow.  And, maybe, finish up the dishes currently set to go.  Maybe set up another group of dishes.  Taco salad, tomorrow.  Maybe a piece of chicken if I'm still hungry.  Oh, and I am thawing meat.  Some of it I may cook as well.

Later?  No, probably goodnight.  Not for a bit, but I probably won't be back.

Rough in every way.

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My legs and calves are killing me, as if I just unloaded a trailer, reaching high and squatting to stack boxes.  I am exhausted too, as if I had done a lot of work.  Absolutely shot.  I have been gaming most of the day, but have managed kefir and Sassy for the day, so far.

I can barely stand.  Even so, I tried to get to a bit more.  I gave the dishes nearing the end a finishing hit, then set them to soak.  As well, I emptied a dishpan, cleaned it, rinsed it, and set chicken to brine.  While that is going, baking potatoes.  One will be a twice baked, one will be... just... baked.  When they are done, the chicken drumsticks will go in.

I ordered water.  It wasn't supposed to show until Monday.  Glad to see it.  As well, finally got a pair of pliers which was ordered the first of last month, or the month before.  I received the package, but it had been slit open and the pliers gone.  They had to have known.  Well, it's here.  I am collecting a few tools, through time.  But, mostly, I am just buying food.  Beans, soy sauce, fish sauce, mushrooms... some of it has a long shelf life, some of it not so much, trying to store and eat what is best.

Why soy, fish, and oyster sauce?  These aren't just flavorings.  They have things in them that are good, on top of the flavor.  Soy?  More for traditional flavorings.  If I do choose what is in it carefully, at careful as you can be these days.  The fewest ingredients, and the more traditional ingredients.

Well, and it does help.  There have been times when I can barely walk, can't really get out, need food.  Better than starving.  Sure, it isn't top notch.  But it is edible.  And, if the world is rough, I would rather eat carbs than nothing.  Sometimes I can't eat meat.  Sometimes I can't eat carbs.  I sort of have to eat what I can eat, sometimes.  Usually I can stick with keto, or carnivore, depending on how well I can shop and keep the stove and oven clean enough to be open.  But when I can't, I... eat what I can.  Eating less, too.  Mostly.

Sort of hoping the chicken is good.  If not, I'll do burgers and salad, taco salad.  Still haven't made mayo yet.  Today or tomorrow?  Not sure.  My body is worn, tired, hurting.  Still, I was able to do some things.  Maybe more?  I'm trying.  Later.

Bad shape.

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I had plans to get out, go do something.  Do a bit more shopping.  Problem is, I can't stand for long.  Difficulty waking.  Still not really awake.  Cold to the bone, for some odd reason.  Legs hurt, sore.  Foot is better, but this is a down down for it.  The first in a week.  I must have just pushed a little too hard in too many ways, over too many days.  I'm not complaining.  I... enjoyed pushing.

I don't even mind the pain.  My body hurts here, there, and everywhere.  A bit.  Not great pains, just little pains everywhere.  Adds up though.  I'd say it's a solid seven or eight, for total pain.  That it is a lot of little ones, to a degree, is better.  I can't focus on any singular area, without being distracted by another pain somewhere else.

My mind wanders from hurt to pain to the next.  But, each thing was earned.  Lifting this hurt that, walking that far hurt these, stretching to get this, or put that there, hurt those.  And, mostly, I know what caused most things.  Even with the last few days down, mostly due to having burned through energy, it is just now that the aches from burning the energy occur.  I'm... pleased.  I was beginning to wonder if I had pushed as hard as I thought.  Yep.  Pleased.

So, not going anywhere.  Not doing anything.  Relaxed though, into my suffering.  Offering it to those in purgatory.  Grateful to God for a responsive body.  Works, and even pains.  Graces, really.  But, I just can't do more today.  Maybe fore several days.  All good.  Though, if someone shows, I'll... have to get on my feet, as able.  It is how life goes, sometimes.

I reset the kefir.  Tomorrow, and the next day, I will add half storebought and half raw milk.  Until the storebought is gone.  Then I'll go to just raw.  The grains are doing well, and growing more each day.  They'll be back at it, and strongly, in a few days.  I need to do a bit of the dishes, to get more fresh jars, for next week.  Probably not today... too wiped.  But, maybe tomorrow, or Monday.

As well, I am soaking radish seeds for sprouts.  Goes good in salad, with or without burger or eggs.  And, isn't bad in soups and stews from hearsay.  I'd like to find out myself.  Oh, and I need to pull some stock from the freezer.  When I eventually get blue cheese, I'll also grab a bag of onions, for my cooking needs.  I do love onion.  In with roasts, diced taco type salads or else, and one many things.  I go through a bag every week or two.  Love that stuff.

Anyway...  While I can't do much today, I'll... sort some things in my mind, write some lists, and contemplate life.

Got stuck in the game.

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Couldn't get through, couldn't quit.  Well, I did make progress.  But, finally, hit a spot I couldn't get through.  It was late, I was tired beyond reason already, and the game difficulty, all combined to beat me like a bad dog.  Finally crashing somewhere between twenty three hundred and midnight.  Always a few last things to do, so I am sure it was after midnight when I went down.

Dreams, again.  But not about her... if that was a dream.  Vivid, if not that vivid.  Some sort of future tomorrow people think of, or used to, when they thought of the future.  Flying cars, tech that (usually) actually works.  An easy life.  Though I am always suspicious.  I wondered about that easy food.  What was actually in it?  There were no labels, other than flavor and/or texture options.  Everything was premade, in some factory.  Everyone ate the same stuff.  It tasted good.  But... as mentioned, to my living mind outside the dream, it was dubious.

As for minorities?  There... weren't any.  I guess they fixed that.  At the very least by appearances and attitudes.  Menial labor?  Bots.  Literal bots.  Behind the façade of good workers, good neighbors, good stewards, though, was the rest.  All I am sure about is that it... wasn't... near as pleasant as it seemed.  You worked until you couldn't.  Then... you went away.  The environment was managed to as sustainable a decline as possible.  There were... good things, and bad things.  But, everyone, for the most part, understood this was as... good as we could do.

There was opposition.  Most political.  Not like today, with most political insanity being astro-turfed.  Real people would, could, and did create groups to oppose things, or better education, lower taxes, such.  And, it... was successful up to points.  Can't get rid of all taxes.  Can't end death.  Limits.  But people were practical.

With lower crime, Europe was actually jealous.  Without so-called minorities, crime became almost unknown.  Oh, a pencil or pen might go missing, from time to time.  But whether it was lost, accidentally borrowed and too expensive to return feasibly, or what, was a whole other thing.  People could move from Burg, Iowa, to Chicago or L.A., and have no worries about predation.  It was amazing.  But, amazing in a dying world.  Still, most understood, or tried to make little changes.  Life in a box, sort of.  Still, better than today.  Politicians had been tied by a lot of limits.  Again, as they had been at the beginning.  Nice.

There were other dreams.  At least as complex.  Some of them didn't make sense.  Imagine being a being which could traverse the stars, the muck of the universe, almost swim through the toxins and terrible masses and forces.  Look into places human eyes can't see.  But, be able to understand, to a degree, what was being "seen".

Other dreams too.  Some sort of animal.  Here on earth.  But I never did see myself, or understand.  Some sort of, if I had to guess, nocturnal small mammal.  An possum, racoon, marmot?  Something like that.  Feeding, hunting, at night.  They can't see perfectly, but well enough to get around.  Hearing, and scent, are as much a part of their methods.

Such dreams.  And all so much closer to real than dream, if as mentioned not as concrete, absolute, or realistic of a set of sensations as the dream yesterday.  Still, more real than usual.  Very strange.  Wonderful, if a bit terrifying.  Ah... so be it.  Later.

Oh, right.

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Last night.  She was in my dreams.  But more, it seemed.  She... that was as close to being in the flesh as I have ever dreamed.  So much so, that I attempted to keep away from her.  I was so tired though.  I couldn't... resist.  Part of me didn't want to resist.  But, really, I tried.  I just couldn't keep her away.  It was terrible and wonderful all at once.  Been a... while.  I tell you, I am not absolutely sure that was purely a dream.

Too tired.

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I didn't get to anything?  Yep.  Well, I fed Sassy.  Several times through the day.  Will probably feed her twice more.  Just... too tired.  Am falling asleep browsing the web.

I did game a bit.  But... got frustrated, with being as tired as I am.  I will play a bit more, or I am going to crash.  And, will probably go to bed before too long no matter what else.  Yes, I pushed things.  And, there is a price for it.

Still, glad to have pushed things.  I enjoy trying.  Or, more, succeeding.  I did well.  It just has cost me a great deal.  Can't do much.  Will be crashing, hard, in an hour or so.  Two?  Something.

Have a good one.  Goodnight.

A new day.

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Friday already?  I have been pushing.  Then going to bed later, and waking later.  Which is the cause, effect, I can't say.  On the good side, my days and nights aren't flipping like objects of some cosmic juggling.  And, there is some hope to bring alignment back, if I could just back off a bit, for a while.

Today?  Freezertop finishing, dishes, perhaps some laundry?  Maybe a bit in that bathroom hallway.  Cooking chicken drumsticks... I'll want to brine those for a bit.  And something to eat.  I've been eating, pretty much, just one meal a day.  More yesterday, but as events lead to that.  Oh, and I'll give homemade mayonnaise a shot.  Then, with cream tomorrow, I can make a base for several salad dressings.  I do have keto mayo, if my attempts fail.  But I really don't care for it.  It is avocado oil based, but there is always way too many ingredients in it for it to be a clean food.  

Look, egg, oil (a good one, like avocado, ev-olive, or such), mustard (without carbs, mustard doesn't have carbs, unless added!), is all that is required.  Sure, that isn't shelf stable.  And it is tricky to make.  But... it is rather easy to make, too.  Mostly.  And, I have to admit, homemade tastes so much better than storebought it... just can't be rightly compared.

So, a list of things.  I forgot to call to check about confession yesterday.  They are not open today.  There are confessional times, but there is both a longer line, and a presumption that confession will be short and sweet.  Not that my list is all that long, but it is both a catching up, and with things from the past which need... managed more properly.  Odd how things become clearer the more you look, and see.  I'll get on that Monday.  Put something in the phone to remind me.

A good list for today.  And, very possibly doable.  Maybe a bit more.  If I ease into things, and figure out how to do them without standing the whole time.  Tired, but not terribly so.  If I don't push it too hard, I have some wind in me, and potentially a second or third wind.  If I am careful.  I might be able to work well today.

Dreams.  Crazily deep dreams this week.  Enemies, allies, the state, the good and bad part of that.  Changes, chaos, order, light, darkness.  Filled.  So complex there is no way I could bring that back to waking.  Or, not this time.  Or this week.  Every other day or so, I have been dreaming deeply.  Death, life, war, all in efforts toward a real, right, peace.  You must war, often, with your own, before you can war with anyone else.  Or even before you can rightly war with anyone else, or even decide whether that is right.  We... have a war upon us.  At home.  Probably shouldn't be anywhere else with that, until this is done.

On to my day.  Good morning and day.

A reasonable start.

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Couldn't get it all finished.  Did get the freezertop cleared.  Then got the burger sorted from five to two pound packages, and cooked one.  As well, got the meats put away in the freezer.  The fridgetop freezer is full.  So it all went into the chest freezer.  A reasonable start.

I did leave one package of chicken out, well in the fridge.  Will try that tomorrow.  Had some of the burger with some of the salad.  Nothing hot added, just a bit of milder spice, and some cheese.  A pleasant bit to eat.  I still have to put up the cooked burger, but... it'll get done.

Oh, I'll remember to pull some chicken or beef stock, for use with liver.  And pull liver?  Ah, when I get onions.  Ugh.  I forgot those.  Got everything else, plus some things, today.  Just not onions.  Oh, and I need to look up which spices are recommended for ranch... make sure I have them.  And, buy a small chunk of blue cheese, to be crumbled into a portion of the base dressing.

Uhrm?  Right, and I need to attempt making homemade mayonnaise.  I have creme fraiche made.  What else was required?  I'll... look.  Ah... sour cream (which I will replace with sour cream with cream cheese, for half of it.  I do have sour cream, would like to try both ways.  For both types I am making.  Spices?  Salt, pepper, onion and garlic powder, parsley, and dill (or chives?), plus or minus sweetener of some sort... or so I hear.  And, yes, I have those.  So... okay.  For the blue cheese, I just want the base, salt and pepper, plus chunked up blue cheese.  So, yes, I have it.  When I get fresh cream this Saturday, I'll... get to it.  Well, I do need blue cheese.  I'm planning to be out Saturday, so can pick up a brick of blue cheese.  Though I can make, or try to make, mayonnaise between now and then.

I did get a shower today.  And did a couple of smaller batches of dishes, after doing two small batches yesterday.  Hopefully, tomorrow, I will finish those that are soaking, set up another set of dishes.  Wash the now cleared freezertop.  And maybe get several sets of dishes through.  And, make a few more calls.  I have heard nothing back about confession.  I'll... call until I do, one way or the other.  Damn, but one has to keep people's feet to the fire sometimes.

I am tired.  Still, I have... things to do.  People to see.  I even reached out about getting help finding the septic tank.  Sounds... possible.  Not sure when.  But I will be here.  And I am usually awake during the day, if it's slipping into later morning.  Will... keep trying.

I have to do a bit of gaming tonight.  Might be a little later again tonight.  I just can't go to bed quite yet.  Some tea?  Perhaps.  And painpills again.  I am pushing my body.  Foot is mostly doing okay, but neck, skull, shoulders are rather tight.  I'll... keep at it.  Goodnight.

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One more thing.  I checked my mortgage.  They did take it, this time.  A day early but that is just fine.  They billed me, illegally, $20 for last month, which was their fault and problem.  Don't work with Freedom Mortgage.  Bad company all around.

Another day out.

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Hopefully that is it for a while.  I have something planned for this weekend.  Other than that, nothing.  

I couldn't wake until around 10:00 this morning.  Had to get a shower, and get out.  Running a bit rough, but running.  Did get out.  Some shopping and a visit.  Yea.

I did get the freezertop cleared off.  I have some things to freeze, and thaw.  Probably things to remove from the fridge, and probably toss.  I had too much meat thawed, and some of it definitely went bad.  I have to be careful, that stuff is expensive.  Ugh.  I'll check it, to make sure.  Some might be good.  Will see.

Mostly meat bought today.  The burger, at $3.50, required five pound packaging.  So I'll have to repackage that.  All good, I suppose.  Down to two pounds per.  That's plenty of meat, for the week, of that sort.  That, and a three to four pound roast, will easily get me through.  I've been off pork for a while, but saw ribs for $2.50 a pound.  Yea.  I wish I could have grabbed more.  Still, not sure if it's good.  Food has been... questionable, lately.  Even the supposed good stuff.

I did get chicken, as well.  Thighs were $1.29 a pound, as were drumsticks still.  Two of the latter, one pack of the former.  Large packs.  One would last a week, if it's... edible.  I'll find out shortly.  Butter is still nosebleed high.  I don't bother with storebought eggs, of any sort, at this point.  So didn't even look.

Mostly meat.  A bit of dietary sin, but had some, shared the majority out.  All good.  I best get to things.  Had to rest.  The day is... well... another day out.  It's a difficult run these last few weeks.  Doing what I can.  Trying to keep up on things, calls, events, and such.  Tired, very tired.  But... pushing on through.

Have a good one if I don't post again.  Good afternoon.  Dark out there already, or almost?  Winter, you know... it often surprises me even when I know, should know.  Later or goodnight.

A very long, hard, sleep.

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While I am not working as physically hard as I had been.  Remember, that is within my capacity, not yours.  I have been gaming hard.  Trying to get through the game I am playing at it's most difficult level.  And, yes, that is brutal.  I think that is what is causing the shoulders, neck, and skull to be so tight.  I tighten up when trying.  Brutally so.

I do stretches, ever so often, and even try to remember to relax in the moment.  And do.  But the level of intensity, from clenching everything, is so powerful that those things only mildly help.  More?  It's not just one game.  I had three games to get through.  I am at... 1.3 to 1.5 the way through.  At least it eats my time and pushes the limits I can push.

I have a few things to do today.  Had hoped to be up a bit earlier.  I need a shower first.  A few painpills to sort of try to gather and push through.  I did feed Sassy first thing, and switched the new kefir out.  I dumped the old kefir yesterday.  I need to keep fresh jars, for the fermenting kefir and storage kefir.  And make sure I have fresh milk.  If it was poisoned or tainted by others, then it was just left too long on the shelf on week.  If needs be, I'll have to make a milk run in the middle of the week.  Sometimes, yes, that is very difficult.

They say it doesn't go bad.  But it seemed very off.  The new stuff is much better.  It isn't quite there yet.  And it is just now starting to grow.  It takes a few days.  Almost surprised it has gotten this far this quickly.  But the smell, of good, fresh, well fed kefir, makes a huge difference.  I kept some containers, they arrived in.  I will wash those out, then fill them with these newer fresher, kefir grains.  And keep them for this type of situation.  Pulling them out, once in a while, to turn over.

I am trying a few other things, as well.  Including changing where I put the jars as they ferment, probably lowering the volume of kefir grains used for fermentation, and changing the lids out whenever kefir starts building on those.  Live and learn?  They say kefir grains don't go bad.  And certainly not in that period of time.  They just become more sour.  But they said there was a way to sweeten them back, again.  But that just wasn't working.  I honestly think something less than good got in with them.  I could and did... and am... handling it, even as I drink the last of the product from that.  But I wouldn't have offered it to... you know... real humans.  It... would harm you.

Oh, but it is a beautiful sunny day out there!  Oh my.  It is 22 F, I think I say?  Yep, it is.  So, a bit crisp.  But that sun just made me smile on the inside.  I needed a clear day.  I love the mysterious darker days, too, mind you.  And frosty days, especially if the sun shines to fantastic sparkles on all that frost, is sure magical.  But a sunny day, now and again, is a true gift from God in winter.  Even if it comes at the cost of a colder cycle.  Trade-offs are the way of the world, though... I think those come from God Himself.  I suspect He lives within them, as a grace of some sort.  He doesn't change, everything around Him, now, does.  Amen?

I... don't know, folks.  I only suspect.  As I have mentioned.  As well, I have mentioned that I am a very suspicious man... one way, and the other.  Ha!

A few light things.

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An order for ground beef.  Enough to last for a bit.  I will have to repackage it, as for the very good price, five pound packages are required.  Still, it... should work for now.  I'll be picking that up tomorrow.  As well, I will see about a few other specials they have going on.

My mother called.  She is in her new place.  Set up and comfortable.  An uncle and cousin, at least, helped her get moved over.  She sounds good, but a bit tired.  Still, that is all good.  Always good to hear things are going well.  As mentioned, I didn't want to bother her until she was ready to call me.  I'll call her in a few days, just for a quick checkup.  There are five or six from the last home living there now.  A few familiar faces can become a luxury as life changes.  Good to hear.

Tired, but...  I am going to stop turning the kefir I don't trust.  I will just use what is rest, flush the rest.  Just half a quart of that, per day.  And washing the jars as I flush them.  I'll just keep switching the new kefir grains, and checking them.  Hopefully they aren't tainted too.  Ugh.  I did redo those this morning.  And have everything being washed, from that old batch of grains.

A meal, shortly.  Eating meat and kefir, pretty much.  Well, a few veggies from time to time.  Things do seem... better.  Beside a cheap steak, I'm hoping to fry burger, and get it stored, this evening.  Or... not.  So tired.  I pushed a bit hard for a goodly while there for a bit.  Not what you would call pushing, but definitely pushing from my side of the world, events, notions.

It is 29 out there.  Not bad.  Really.  It seems, sounds, cold.  But when you've had it into the negative twenties, ~30 is pretty pleasant.  Perspective.

I did call about a confession.  Not sure if, when, that will happen.  Another message left.  Not sure when I'll hear back, let alone be able to make an arrangement.

I have decided to look for materials through which to learn Spanish.  I gave Japanese a good shot, but realized... I just wouldn't fit there.  Argentina, Ecuador, and perhaps visiting a few places, might work out better.  Either that or Cambodia.  No chance at learning Cambodian, save perhaps on the ground, with a trainer.  Spanish?  Maybe.  Argentina has it's own version, if to a degree they all do.  But... worth getting some of it down, and perhaps working on the exceptions after I get to some level.  Bleh.

Doubts exist, if I will ever get there.  But... there is some possibility.

Well, on with a dinner.  Later.

Couldn't get to bed until midnight thirty or so.

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Waking at 9:30 was a bit of a trick.  But done.  Sassy came up, but ended up just napping with me.  I love the furry runt.  She helps, or joins, as is required.

Oh, my feet had been itching.  Foot spray just couldn't get in past the cuticle spikes or under the nails.  Now that is all clear.  I kept noticing the itch.  But had forgotten I had spray.  Yesterday evening I put two and two together.  Sprayed the feet well.  Figured it would take a week or two for it to clear, and stop itching.  Nope.  Killed the itch then and there.  Still, I have powder too.  Which I will use in the mornings.  And, after every shower and any time I work on my feet, I will spray or powder them again, for a week or two.  Oh my word, it is good to have clear, clean, feet which don't itch.  Can't do much about the changes from freezing to burning, currently.  But I... am trying various things.  One thing at a time.  And, perhaps, some things have to simply be tolerated.  Mostly cured, when on insulin.  But, that isn't available currently.  So... yeah.

It was 25 F, when I checked perhaps half an hour ago.  I was too tired yesterday, and relaxed, to do much.  Today may be similar.  Though, today, I will try to do a few small things.  A call, about confession.  Some dishes.  Cleaning the freezer top before dishes though... and clearing first before even that.  Mostly sorted, just a bit more.

Perhaps laundry.  Yes.  I need to get some shirts and pants arranged and ready.  Ugh.  Always something.  I did turn over the new kefir grains today.  Accidently put them in with raw milk.  Too early, had to drain that off.  Might kill them.  I am hoping, by this Saturday or Sunday, the new grains will be ready.  Can't be sure.  Will find out.

Some reading, this evening.  Just a bit.  Promised.  Other than that?  Today is going to be a day of ease.  Between working, the pedicure, the broken foot still having some issues, and no medicine, I... have to take some downtime.  Next week, I am hoping, I'll be back on top of things.  

The broken foot is still rather impressively swollen again.  Though, no pain.  So, I really think that was a good thing.  It'll take a day or week to get that sorted out.  Will possibly do that every time I go in, for that, for a number of months.  I heal well, but... there are some limits.  As long as their is no pain, I don't worry about the swelling.  And, I have trick to manage that.  If I am just letting it be swollen for a while, hoping it is a healing thing.  I will begin compressing it, again, next week, if it doesn't reduce in size on it's own.  For now I'll let it... do it's thing.

Have a good morning.  Later.

I forget...

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Sometimes they respond.

Right, wrong.  Women are purely poetic, when they aren't purely pragmatic.  Doesn't seem to be ought else to them, if that is enough, in their times?  Thin, at times.  But... not all soups should be stews?

For the last few days, a rider.

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Not sure... which one.  Digging deeper, hitting bone.  Or... such.

Blogs reviewed.  Forming a pattern?  I think so, a single, another single, and a collection.  But... with... hints and tips.  Though, not... from that one?

One that may be from that one.  But does she read here?  Couldn't be?

And... some others... from other blog posts.  I didn't keep those on hand, as I was trying to ignore.  If you don't like the message, or think it's someone joking, or pushing, just... ignore.  If it continues, and your proverbial ears begin to bleed, then put it out, give it a chuckle, and leave it where it is.  Which... my proverbial ears are ringing, and bleeding, at this point.  Ah, some of the singles.

Checking is... very low?

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I had to look around.  See why.  Ah.  I see.  I usually pay a certain card down, then use it.  For amazon orders.  But, this month?  I paid it down.  I then ordered.  Usually it doesn't show up as having been used for a while.  But, this time, it looks like they laid claim to the funds almost immediately.  I guess, since this and the last balance was nearly the same, I assumed it hadn't been paid, so paid it again.

Sure, it will short me a bit this month.  Okay, I get that.  Should be able to survive.  And, if something comes up, I have that card completely free?  Well, I think $20 or $30 wasn't immediately pulled.  But.. that gives me room.  Plus, I'm paying off other things, and putting money in savings.  Tight.  I'll try to live in that narrow window, survive the month.

I have walkaround money, enough for four or five meals, perhaps.  Dairy was paid.  Things are... looking very good.  Well, better.  Still digging out of a few holes, but not doing too poorly, for the choices I made.  Though they were choices I would make again.  Inflation is not flattening.  The interest rates are rising just enough to kill savings interest, in the crunch between it and inflation.  Worst comes to worst, revolving goes away.  As long as I have food, and a house, I'm not worried.

Bloody nose today.  I think I have just run too many days in a row.  Or nearly in a row.  I am exhausted beyond my ability to do much today.  Feet still feel great.  Legs too.  I was a bit concerned, whether the broken foot would come around and bite me.  Nope.  A bit more swollen, but I think that's a good thing.  It is breaking up what was knotted and clotted, but without causing pain.  Not even down underneath my pain resistance.  No nausea, feverishness, or such.  I have healed well.

The woman who did the work was telling me her mother broke her foot.  It took six months for it to even begin healing.  And, a year and an half later, it is still in rough shape.  So... she... was impressed with my healing.  Then again, if she chose to believe some of my stories, she knows I am... a bit unusual in those ways.  Most people don't tolerate even a bit of draino.  Though the luck, too?  How many people have put a loaded shotgun to their head and pulled the trigger?  *grins*  Well, and are writing about?  So... yea, I... tell my tale.  Believed?  Not my problem.  But, I think she does.  Seen... a few things.  The current level of swelling of the broken foot, for example.  And how much bigger it got during the process.  As I mentioned though, a good thing.

Oh, and she remember that my feet were size 12 last time I saw her.  And noted that they are 16's now.  Something about some of this is... strange to her.  But... interesting.  Or some such.

I called my brother this morning.  He didn't answer, which is fine.  I left a message letting him know I wasn't asleep, just busy, yesterday when he called.  

About to warm the last of the roast beef.  Had kefir, then a berry kefir, earlier.  I do like that stuff.  The new kefir grains were flipped.  But I just tossed the kefir from it.  First, it was watery.  Second, it smells like storebought milk.  It'll be a few days to week before it is ready.

It is up to 30 out there.  It seems like there is some melting up front.  Strange.  Must be the temp and a bit of the sun, even if it is rather cloudy out.  Just enough of each.  Not thawing anywhere else.  Well... on to... not much.  Oh, I want to add tarragon to the beef.  That's... tasty.  Later.

Ah, remembered.

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I tracked down numbers, yesterday, for a few floral services in the area.  I suspected they were closed.  Remembered to check today.  Good, good.  One is a bit more expensive, out of the box.  The other costs more for delivery.  Still, now I have a way to send mom something, from time to time.  For a reason, or holiday... or just because.

Wasn't there... Yes, there was something else.  But it's too late today.  Tomorrow.  Overwhelmed with things to do!  I... should make a list.  Or several lists.  Keep them... somewhere hereabouts.  A list for things for the day, and tomorrow... plans, goals.  A list for more short to medium term.  As money goes.  And, some longer time-line things, a list for that.  Then, try to keep them in some order.  Though if something becomes low hanging fruit, take it a bit ahead of schedule.  Yea.  I... need to start doing that.  The trick is to keep those lists close, without losing them.  Ugh.

Still, two things done today.  Another day out, of four out of the last five, six, days?  That's... a lot for me.  I need to rest.  I really do.  It's winter, for heaven's sake!  I should be hibernating!  It is just now down to thirty, but was warmer, by a lot, earlier.  I didn't see any warmer readings, but it was warm out there (comparatively).  And there was a lot of melting going on.  So... yea.  Actually, glad I got out today, just for that.

Well...  Getting near bedtime.  Having to come down a bit.  Looks like I missed a call from my brother.  I'll... see about managing that tomorrow too.  And another call.  Oh... and I did create a list, and there... is a place for it.  If... I don't forget.  Yea.  I... have two things on it.  Hmm, could add one more.  A short term list, for now.  It's a start.

Good day, afternoon, and goodnight.

Out, again.

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Pedicure.  My former pedicurist is still there.  I told her I had called three times, about every six months... never got a response.  Which I have.  Anyway, today was the day.  She will be leaving soon, though.  Found a guy, moving in, a bit distant.  So, yeah.

I'll get a few more appointments before then.  All good.  She really worked my feet today.  Cleared the backup, cleaned, everything but the polish.  Yea, no.  I just... like it stripped of dry skin, cleaned under the nails, and having those trimmed.  Well, and the cuticles.  Otherwise cuticles become razor blades.  I can trim the nails, but the cuticles... I can't do well.  Those are what are dangerous to my feet.

We had a good talk.  Caught back up.  It was very good.  My feet feel like a million bucks.  She was actually impressed with how well I have been keeping them.  Still, there was... a lot of room for improvement.  And it was done.  My feet look human again!  Or... as... close to human as they get.

I had thought to stop at the store, after.  No, just... that relaxed me far too well.  I thought about dinner out, but then remembered I have good food at home.  I had thought I would fry some burger, and have some of that with salad.  But, again, no.  Far too relaxed.  Legs have become jelly!  In... the best ways possible albeit.  I have leftover roast, so that is in the oven with the last pack of fresh mushroom, butter, water, salt, and pepper.  Oh, and some garlic powder... not garlic salt, just... garlic.  That... should be quite good.

I feel like I am floating on clouds.  My feet literally feel lighter, but that can't be.  But it sure feels like it.  So relaxed I'm about to crash.  I'll stay awake long enough to eat, then probably head on to bed.

Oh, I didn't mention I had broken my foot.  I wanted to see if it would hurt a little, or a lot.  The swelling increased.  But there was no pain.  I think... the messaging part was exceptionally good for it.  We'll see tomorrow.  But the massage probably broke up things which were... knotted, clotted, closed in.  So very pleased.

I'll get to see her a few more times.  Then... I'll try out who she suggests as a replacement.  See... if another will do.  Never can tell.  Worth a shot, to be sure.  Funny how quick and long it takes to catch back up?  Always... going hither and thither, missing, and then not, but just for a short spot?  Aye.  Good day, and maybe goodnight.

Painpills and a shower.

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Doing well enough.  The headache was managed.  Bones, joints, ligaments, and muscles all seem calmed.  The shower was a nice finishing touch to managing pain.  Warm.  Some days the water doesn't seem to be able to be warm enough.  Today was not among those days.  Though neither was it too hot.  Can tell by skin color.  If I pop out, and I'm red?  I... was insensitive to the heat.  Too sensitive, a whiter shade of pale.

Though, sometimes, I am those colorations even if I don't take a shower.  So... so it goes, I guess.  A redman, regular man, and ghost.

Things to do?  I suppose.  Best get going.  Oh, best get the litter box sorted.  Odd, but she won't use the other litter box, no matter how full her main (only) box is.  It shouldn't be too bad.  I am sure I cleared it last night.  And, she doesn't usually go overnight.  Just in the morning, after food.  And, through the day, as she gets fed her little meals and snacks.  Probably every other feeding time.

I... really don't pay attention.  I just happen to notice by when to clear, clean, so as not to waste my time looking for those golden cat gifts at the wrong times.  :)

Well, on with things I suppose.  It's a good day.  Still dark, obviously winter, rather chill if not frigid.  All good.  Good day.

Late.

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Went to bed late, too.  Looks like I am sleeping about twelve hours, here in the winter.  Not much choice, either.  Been trying to wake earlier, it just isn't possible.  I was awake, obviously, until about 20:30 last night.  My neck has a terrible kink in it.  Gaming too intently yesterday.

Having a kefir, first thing.  Well, second thing.  Sassy got fed first thing.  She worked hard to wake me this morning.  A bit... too much.  But, I wanted to be up, and she wanted food.  So, she pestered me pretty intently.  I worked with her, as able.

It is dark out there.  Not so cold, at 25.  Still, that isn't exactly warm.  And, there is a feel to it that gives an even colder touch to out there.

A few plans for the day.  Not sure I can get to everything.  We'll see.  But, first, to wake up!  Ugh, it is such a rough morning.  Later.

Solid headache.

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Oh well.  But, the neighbor son the second was by, and plowed the drive.  I did thank him.  Offered him money too.  Just won't take it.  Trying to think of something to keep on hand.  I don't want soda, I'd drink it.  But... something.  A can of fruit seems okay, but that would get boring.  I'm thinking.

I did get kefir reset, and the new kefir grains started.  I didn't do more dishes than that.  I probably won't do much else.  The game is killing me.  So I'm going to stop playing until I can relax a bit, get ready again.  It's cold, but not so deeply cold as it has been.

Hmm, 18:10.  I planned to be to bed earlier.  I'll get on to bed shortly.

I had some of the roast earlier.  That is it for food.  Roast and half an onion I baked in with it.  Just one glass of kefir today.  I'd like a can of fruit.  That would work.  Then on to bed.  I keep checking for what's on prime, but keep coming up empty handed.  I will just stop bothering at this point.

Sunday, right?  As I wake at night, I keep thinking it is Tuesday, Wednesday, even Thursday.  Losing my place in time.  All good.  I just have to check a calendar more often when time gets strange.

My mother called me.  Though I think I mentioned that?  She is already packing.  Will be moving soon.  All good.  And, as mentioned as well, I found floral services in her area.  Affordable?  Who knows.  I guess I will find out.  I like the old girl.  Mostly.  Like?  Well, love yes, but... we don't always like each other.  It's just how it goes.  Do our best though.

Goodnight.

Not much?

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Nothing on the list.  But when I went out, a few hours ago, to check the temp, I noticed the snow.  It was coming down heavy and fast.  Probably an inch out there.  Fluff, but a good bit of moisture out there, in it.  So, I got to it.  I cleared ten feet out from the garage, opened up the back porch area, shoveled a short path to the front sidewalk, and cleared that sidewalk and the front porch.  Not much, but... a bit.

I gamed for a while.  Then, went to check the temp again.  Yep, more snow.  This time probably between two and four inches, total, but just two and some inches where I had cleared.  So, back to it.

I had wondered if it was shoveling or kidneys hurting me in the back.  Now I am certain.  Last time it didn't hurt right away.  This time, it hurts now.  Check.

I've been trying to speak with my mother.  She just isn't answering the phone.  I need to know where... what town... she is moving, and when.  I've called twice.  Perhaps they are moving already?  Though I didn't think it was until April?  Though, if she has a place, maybe she is getting out sooner?  Or, perhaps, they are having a goodbye celebration?  Don't know.  She isn't answering her phone though.

My brother texted me the other day.  A prize puzzle thing.  A gift.  He was just telling me about it.  I have doubts about prizes, for solving puzzles, I don't care what they say.  But, if the puzzle is a challenge, that is good enough.  And, given freely?  Check.  I'm... a bit of a partypooper, I suppose.  But I'm just not a believer.

The burned hand is better.  It did hurt the day I did it, on through the evening.  I burned a lot while taking the shower.  I did put it in cold water, this time.  As it actually, oddly, hurt.  It was only 415 F, and just a high carbon pan, not the chrome handled one.  Must be getting old.  But, all good today.  It did leave a bit of a mark, but no blisters or such.

Weary.  But, hoping to stay awake until 16:30 to 17:30.  Maybe do some dishes.  I moved the quart jars to a rough rinse.  will rinse them again, just a bit, then put the new kefir grains and storebought milk all together in them, to start getting good kefir going again.

I may also see if I can get some help seeking the septic tank.  I don't want to have to be charged a bundle for finding that, on top of pumping and inspecting.  Should be able to get to that this coming month.  If it's warm enough, and if I have found the tank.  He suggested adding access to it.  At first I didn't think so, but now that I realize there may be screens which may need cleared, yes.  If those are in there, then maybe.

Yes, it's still snowing.  But it didn't fill back in what I had done before I finished.  Why shovel, if someone may be getting to it before too long, with equipment?  I... guess... just to not be dead?  To try, to do some of it, to... give it a shot?  Pretty tired today.  may end up taking a few days down.  I've pushed well beyond my usual hard limits.  Surprised I haven't conked out for a few days or week.  Yet.

Forgot to post.  Anyway, I did find out when, and where, she is going.  Made a call that got me headed in the right directions.  Nothing is probably open today.  So... all good.  At least I have that managed, to this point.  Later.  Or, maybe, goodnight.

Up late.

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I think it was about 8:30 when I woke.  Why so late?  I didn't go to bed all that late, maybe 22:30?  Then again, here in deep winter, I sleep twelve hours.  So that isn't all that bad.  Even so, usually, for one late night, or two, I can retain the same wake up.  So, what was it, why?  Ah... because I have been out of the house three days in a row.  Might not be much to you.  Absolutely fries my system.  

Still, all good.  If probably a first in... since Burning Man?  Though, even with that, I could sleep, and did, often.  Though the heat, and adrenalin from being near strangers, occultists, pagans, and so-called atheists helped.  If, to be honest, being around coreligionists, Catholic and Christian, would be... just as unnerving for me.  Just... the way it goes.  I don't fit, here, anywhere.

It is ten F, out there.  And feels colder.  A bit foggy, to start, overcast as well so that won't burn off quickly.  Unless it just did.  :p  Never can tell.  Slept like a king.  Warm, deep at times, good.  Dreamed, of many things.  A few things troubling, a few things pleasing, and at least one caused me to wake up due to my deep-boned laughter.  Not sure what was so funny, but just the memory of the laughter brings a broad grin and glimmer to my eyes.  It... must have been good.

Trying to pull to wakefulness.  Just a bit difficult this morning.  A bit of kefir to start things.  Love that stuff.  The goal, today, is to clean the freezertop, after clearing the last bit.  Then hit dishes.  Resetting kefir, and starting the new stuff as well.  Then something to eat.  I'm thinking of frying the burger, putting most of it away, and having some with salad.

Oh, but first I may try to make ranch dressing.  If I have the spices, or enough of them.  If I am missing one, or the other, oh well.  If I can make that dressing, I'll make a large base sort.  Use some of it for ranch, reserve half for blue cheese dressing.  Which... I'll have to figure out, obtaining a block of blue cheese, to crumble in, this week.  As those get used up, I'll make an italian dressing, or balsamic dressing.  Or, maybe both.  Ah, but first I have to attempt to make homemade mayo.  Ugh.  Still... I'd like to try to push that through.  I'm only successful some of the time.  But, mayo, when homemade, with a good olive oil, is fantastic.

I know how it works, but it's as good, and speedy, as I can do.  Fresh eggs, and good olive oil on hand.  Should... do.

But, first, as mentioned, I need to wake.  I suppose, as I am doing things in the kitchen one way, I can do other things.  Cleaning, clearing, prepping the recipes, cooking, and all.  A rest every half hour to hour.  I've pushed these last few days.  Not sure how much blood I can get out of the stone that is my heart.  Will... see.

Later.