How... does that work out.

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I had to listen.

Up late, moving slow.

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Had to wrap my hands, all over.  Rashes.  Bad ones.  I am wondering about protein powder, allergies?  Other issues?  Perhaps, in making the skin softer, it also makes it more fragile?  And, being that I am as gentle on my skin as on the rest of me, perhaps between cold, and hot, and abrasion, I am... hurting my skin?

Anyway, I went looking.  I found nothing on this, based on protein.  But I did find it on fats... a keto thing.  It's just on my hands, but it is truly rough.  Right down to bleeding in some places.  The stigmata seemed to be returning too, but that is a different issue.  It really is different, totally different sort of sores.  Ugh.  Anyway...

From this video, there might be some options.  Bile salts, and vitamin b2, riboflavin.  I had been on a b complex, but dropped it when I went off meds, and never restarted it.  I think I will restart it.  And, I'll try to bile salts.  I only need, if I need them, the salts for a short term.  It may be all the protein I am taking, and my body simply trying to adjust.  

As well, it may be that I am used to being hard on my body, and that doesn't work with as much protein and collagen as I am taking in.  Again, hopefully, just an adjustment period may be needed.  But, I will try these things, see if they work.  I have been, if eating less total, probably been consuming much more fat by percentage lately.  While generally hitting 1k to 1.2k calories, which is very low, I'd water I'm hitting 70 to 90 percent fats.  Which, yea, is a lot.

Currently, I have gauze pads everywhere.  It looks like my hands were burned.  I may have cotton gloves, somewhere, which if I can find I might wear regularly.  I have enough that they could be disposable, if I will try to wash and reuse.  Plus, I have been adding triple antibiotic ointment to the worst patches... the ones bleeding, including the stigmata.  But that one seems to just keep getting worse.  The main one is now an open wound.  Light, but... right through the skin, in a cross presentation, and deepening.  Ugh.  It doesn't seem to be opening up on both sides, or yet.

Breakfast was had, litter was reset, the girls were fed.  Now I need to get to the rabbits.  A bit of fatted coffee, first, to warm.  I am having a heck of a time staying warm, as well as the other problems.  I am dressed warmly, eating rightly, doing what I can.  But I just can't get warm!  Low carbs doesn't help.  Though summer should, again, be easier to take, mostly.  

I tired the 'ugly' pasta last night, miracle noodle type... Japanese roots of some sort.  Not... as bad as I remember.  The only real problem is there isn't very much per package.  Now, you can eat... four of those really, and add no calories or... anything?  Mostly.  Well... 7.5 calories per serving (two servings per package), and 2 grams of carbs per serving (totally fiber).  So... two packs would be 30 calories and 8 grams of fiber.  Whether that fiber would have a blood sugar involvement is yet to be checked.  I may try that this evening, with two packs of linguine cuts of the stuff.  It wasn't great, but it really wasn't bad, either.  Not as good as palm, a little watery, if that may have been my bad with the spaghetti sauce...  Bleh.  I'll keep at it.  

Blood sugar was 159 fasting this morning.  But not because of spaghetti.  I... was so cold and hungry, I went to a fast food place and ordered a big regular meal.  So... yea, okay.  I did bad.  I'll... try to sort out my hunger, and the cold, in a better way.  I don't quite yet know how, but I'll... try.  Later.  

Some days.

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No matter my efforts, it just isn't going to happen today.  I am, finally, warm.  I made cream of wheat.  As well as bacon.  Plus another fatted coffee.  Dressing warm only helps if your body can get warm.  Food can help, a bit.  But if the body is not able to shift gears, cold you will be.  And, I was.  

Blood sugar was 91 before the last meal.  Though, with what I ate, it might become slightly elevated.  Will check in another hour or two.  Oh, but part of the reason blood sugar was high this morning was that I forgot to take the slow acting insulin last night.  I set it up, had it in the fridge.  Just forgot to take it later.  I did get it in this morning.

I may have pushed too hard, recently.  Or, at least, for my current condition.  I have some real hope, now that I have found medicine that just might allow me to control blood pressure and with blood sugar also becoming controlled.  Yes, I'll mess up, from time to time.  But, if I have a real possible zeroing point, a way to health... or something similar... at least the right numbers on a few things... I can possibly regain some strength.

Adding protein, enough to actually not atrophy, into my diet will help as well.  Is it working?  To be honest, I think it might be.  Though there might be some negatives, too.  I... will give it more time.  My arms are definitely tightening.  I think there is muscle growth.  Just from getting up off the floor, where I sleep.  It used to just make me tired.  I think, now, it is actually beginning to produce muscle.

Further?  I am beginning to exam methods of working out which don't... require equipment.  And, will be starting out from the 'easy' positions.  Inclined, rather than flat, push-ups.  Half set-ups, from the knees rather than resting full length on the toes.  I am not sure how much I can do, but I would like to... have a bit of an exercise regimen set up before I commit.  As well, I am waiting until after I have gotten one load into the dumpster.  But... for now... I can begin looking at exercises I can do.  Heck, jumping jacks, standard toe grabbing stretching and other stretches, perhaps walking.  I think, with the right foods going in, and other things controlled, I need to start up again.  The hope is to get back to swimming.  But, this time, with some hope of strengthening.  Ugh.

Even if today is a bit of a downer.  I will try to do some things.  And I will pray.  I will do what I can do.  If I can do little to nothing?  I will be glad that I have an opportunity tomorrow, or soon.  And I will.  If I should die?  I will thank Father for that gift.  I can't lose because He has already won.  I'm just a loser, along for the ride.  But I am trying to learn along the way.  Grateful for the opportunity.  Amen.

Trying to warm.

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There is just something in the air.  It's a cold day.  I worked well this week, not sure I'll get much done today.  Will try to do some things.  Just warming up seems to be the trick.  A trick I haven't quite figured out.  Two hot things already, the furnace up, dressed well and warmly, and still chilly.  Perhaps a shower, in a bit, if I can get to it.

I called my mother.  Sounds like she is cold too, today.  She is bundled, and staying in bed.  She has her room as warm as she can get it, but, as with her too, she just can't get warm.  She had planned to go out to see her fellow, do some work on the place, cook... but not today, so she canceled.  At least I am not the only one.

I will try to get work done.  Maybe not as much as the last few days, but I'll keep at it.  As possible.  I really want dishes sorted, the places to dry them clear and clean, at least the load rinsing rerinsed and set out.  Though a shower, and then perhaps, one more set.  I should be able to do laundry as well.

Chores, the girls, and my food too.  I believe I am going to make keto spaghetti tonight.  Using the ugly keto noodles.  They aren't... the best, certainly not real noodles, not even as good as palm, but... zero carb.  Zero... anything... pretty much.  I am going to try a few tricks, this time, from past experiences.  I'd like to learn how to tolerate, and more... like, these noodles.  I think it is possible.  I absolutely adore spaghetti and meat sauce.  While it may not be "Authentic Italian", tomato sauce isn't either.  Tomatoes come from North America, exclusively.  If they want to use our tomatoes, we can certainly add meat to it.  :p

Whatever else, this week has been very good.  And, next week is lining up to be better.  Trash by the box, contractor bag, and ton, possibly.  Those recliners are heavy and mean.  Take up space.  Yea.  I think the world could greatly improve with just a few things gone.  But, too, being able to remove large amounts, without the limit of what will fit in even the generous trash bins which go to the curb, will make for some short work.

I may leave the door open to the upstairs, in hopes that will warm it enough to work up there.  Then go through boxes, again.  Well, and work on laundry.  As well, tossing clothes I no longer wear, which don't fit or are too worn.  I am excited about clearing the place, and cleaning.  I just want to get as much done as quickly as possible.  Just this front room, from removing boxes the other day, and tearing in a bit after, and now bringing things down to go... it is exciting, pleasing.

Well...  We'll see what I can get done, before long.  Oh, and best call my insurance company, and stop the insurance on my sold auto.  I think that one was fifty a month, alone.  So... yeah.  It begins to add up.  Later.

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Roughly $80 to $90 less a month on insurance?  Cool.  Very good.  Between this and that, I am saving a lot by not having that vehicle.  It's surprising how much money a vehicle really costs.  From oil changes to tires to gas to payment to insurance, I'm getting to nearing $500 a month?  Definitely $400, not including any maintenance, registration, inspection, or else.  It was about to need new tires, for certain.  Yea, and to come out ahead?  Super.

Late.

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It was nearly ten before I could get up and going.  I set the alarms at 07:00 and 09:00.  Later, already, because of all I had done yesterday.  Still, it was an extreme fight to get out, even when I did.  Though, checking the clock/thermometer near my bed I found part of the reason.  It read 48 F.  The coldest I have seen it up there, this winter, is 54 on exceptionally cold nights.  So, yea.  That would make it much more difficult to get up.

Still, awake.  And dressed.  I had wanted to do some laundry work up there, with a big basket of stuff to be sorted.  But it was just too cold to muck around up there, for now.  So, I left that and came on down.  I brought one refuse box with me.  Nothing fancy, but it was something.

Blood sugar is 136 fasting.  A little higher.  I... snacked, just before bedtime.  I was HUNGRY!  I do notice, when I go outside of the six to eight hour food window, it does tend to increase blood sugar.  Getting better though, again. at 123 for the weekly, 129 biweekly, and 133 monthly averages.   That's... better.

Today?  I want to clear and clean off my dishes space, and get going on those.  Continue with laundry.  I think I have one more load to wash, and with the load in the dryer... giving it a spin, and all else, three loads to send or repeat through the dryer.  As for dishes?  I am hoping to finish the load soaking, resoak it with fresh hot water.  Then do two more batches of that size.  I think I have clean dishes to be put up, mostly utensils, big and little.

Else?  Chores, litter, feeding the girls and getting them fresh water.  Oh, but I have to refill waterers yet this morning.  All of them.  Can't get fresh outdoor water, so... it'll have to be softened tap water.  Just the way of it.  It is cold out there, 7 to 9.  I was just awake, when I looked, and didn't want to be out long enough to get an exact reading.  Now, that isn't always terribly cold.  But, this morning, there is a feel to it of bitter chill.  Either I am not with it, into it, or the humidity, barometric pressure, and whatever else might have an effect on the sense of it makes it worse.  I just can't say.

Still?  Wonderful.  I have worked well this week, and will do well today, I think.  The water for breakfast is hot enough, so I'll go get that going.  Beside chia, the two remaining sausage patties are to be warmed and relished.  I'll refresh the girls' litter while out there.  I suppose I could feed them too, as late as it is.  Especially since they aren't begging.

I don't know if I want to work on the pens.  Being that cold.  But, if it warms today, perhaps.  Well, if nothing else, I will look for the tools and feeders.  Cold, boys and girls, brutally cold.  I have had worse, but this... for this year... is about as cold as I have seen it.  And I am definitely feeling it.  Later, good morning, and good day... maybe even good evening or night to some of you foreign types.  Be well.

Uhm... nice.

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A shower, a load of laundry going and a second one maybe yet tonight.  Dishes set to rinse.  I wasn't sure anything else would go forward.  More, I am hoping to clear and clean a space for clean dishes tomorrow.  So there isn't more to do to do more?  Right, right.  Yes, I will clear the space, and move laundry around.  Maybe get that which is rinsing to the drying area?  Put another load to wash?  Maybe.

It's only 21:30?  Then... yea... I... have time.  Trying to get to bed earlier, so as to wake earlier, too.  A rather good day, even without what I just did.  If I get to the next hoped things yet tonight?  A grand day.  Oh... it's still rough in here.  But everything I do, every bit I manage, gets me one step closer to taking care of other things.

One step at a time.

Blood sugar was good.  No worries there.  It was 111 after all my meals, and my one dose of fast acting insulin.  I have the slow acting already in the needle.  Just waiting.  I'll tell you, though... diabetes, type II?  It isn't a food thing, at this point.  It isn't lifestyle.  I am eating what I should be, the last two days I have eaten less than 1,000 calories.  And it just doesn't matter.  For the last two weeks, minus a few skips, I have been eating 1,500 calories or less per day.  Even when I go above that, it's still only to a technical weight loss point even then.  And?  And I haven't lost an ounce... I am still at 280.  Some of that may have been being off meds, and gaining water weight.  I have had to jump my water pills to five, for a few days, to drain the swamp.  Then I'll go back down to two a day.  But I do need two a day, it seems, on this particular regimen.  Further?  In the last two days, since I weighed last at 280, even with the extra water pills, and eating less than 1,000 calories over the last two days, and while working more each day than I have in weeks?  I... gained three pounds.  So... yeah.  I'm... probably stuck at 280.  I'll keep at it, for other reasons.  But... I am stuck.

If I was eating wrongly, by volume or type, blood sugar would show it.  I could, possibly, be drinking too much.  But... that would lead to me peeing more, no matter what.  Especially taking five 40 mg furosemide tabs a day.  This is my third day of that, and I have two more... was seriously bloating.  Uhrm, actually, make that four days.  So, tomorrow, I will probably go back to two water pills a day.

Anyway... I have been doing very good this week.  A bit more, each day.  Adding medicine back in, being more regular with it.  Doing work, chores, attempting to find a small job... which didn't work out.  Still, doing... well.  If I can keep up on medicine, I will begin checking blood pressure early next week, Monday probably... if I remember.  Or Tuesday or Wednesday.  Blood sugar is being checked two to four times a day, again.

Not bad.  And it is still in the dead of winter.  Though the sun is beginning to light up the sky a bit earlier.  Sunup is 07:44 in Logan, not sure about here.  Probably earlier here.  We are out in the plains of the valley, they are butted against the sunward mountains.  Still, it's about 08:00, when it begins to stir me to wake.  If I haven't been able to always wake for it, I do wake, a bit, to it.  I... notice.  Sundown is around ~17:45.  Which still seems really early, but it was 16:45 not long ago, perhaps even earlier.  Still, being winter, I... am doing well.  A very good sign.

Well, I best either get busy, or get to bed.  Goodnight.  I'll keep you in my prayers.

A bit more.

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Chores, changing trash bags, cleaning up a bit.  The extra eggs, and I put the remaining sausage away, for tomorrow.  I'd still like to get a shower in, reset the dishes to a soak, see about the laundry after a shower.  Food is done, for the day.  I didn't eat much, I just... couldn't.

Oh, I best get waterers set up.  Or... go to bed early, hoping to rise early, and get to things in the early dark tomorrow morning.  I am sort of running out of steam.  Did a decent amount of work though.  May still do a few more things.  Maybe a lot of things, I just don't know.

Definitely running out of steam.  But I have gotten a second wind before.  Especially if I can sneak a shower in.  I will need to check blood sugar again, just to make sure it isn't too low.  If it is, something will have to be eaten.  I did dose with fast acting.  It's always tricky at this part of getting blood sugar back under control.  Too little, it does nothing.  Too much and it could crash terribly.

Still, not a bad day.  More work than I thought I would do, even if I had done all that I planned.  Because there was a lot more to do in just a few parts than anticipated from the whole of the list... if that list was the actual whole of it.  So many sneaky little bits and pieces to do just to get to do what I was planning to do!  Still, I'd like to do a bit more.

I'd really like to get the house in real order in a month or two.  Get everything running as it should.  Have a place for everything I am keeping, and get rid of what I don't need or won't ever really want.  Then... make some decisions.  Stay or go... improve or let go... choices.  This is the longest I have lived in a single place ever in my life.  The next longest was... three years in one place?  I think so.  Four times as long as I've ever lived anywhere else.  I guess I thought it would be... different, by now.  Poor health does change things.  I think the choice is to begin moving on again, or to get ready to die here... eventually.

Anyway.  Later, or goodnight.

Excellent sausages.

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Starting with plain ground pork, I added my favorite spice mix... of the hotter sort.  Not the hottest, just a middling mix, with just a touch of flavor.  Though, what I call a touch many would call far too hot.  YMMV.  Then I simply fried that.  After it was done, eggs.  Oh, so very good.  And, yes, I hit the spice notes, secular and religious (savory and hot) just right.

I can make excellent sausages, and without sugar, or chemicals I can't pronounce... or at least don't know.  Nothing I don't want in them.  It only took two minutes to add the spices and mix.  I am going try other sorts, more of the savory... say mild or even sweet italian.  Though there are other options.  There are a wide variety of spice blends, or even solo spices and herbs, I really enjoy.  I used to, anyway, have two dozen 'masalas'.  Not all of India sort, or even Mediterranean.  Some were my own, to the best of my knowledge.

The waterers are finally warm enough.  But I need to digest dinner.  Then I'll get out.  An hour after getting out, I'll put Hazel in with Red.  See if they can't enjoy each others company.  By the looks of it, Rusty did try.  Succeed?  Both had tufts of fur out of place, cuts, and probably bruises.  Love for big rabbits seems difficult.  The little rabbits had no such difficulty.  Both of them seemed to enjoy the whole process... if she closed her eyes at first.  Which means she probably missed the first time.  :p

I still haven't gotten a shower, but it's on the menu.  Then dishes and laundry.  I have started slowing down, if I never really sped up?  But I have been doing bits and pieces here and there.  You know though... there are extra sausage patties.  And there are just two eggs remaining.  I think I'll go ahead and cook those eggs.  I'll still have extra sausages.  Those will be for with chia breakfast tomorrow.

Yea, I am doing more and more.  I don't know if I will get everything I had thought I would.  Or hoped.  But I might get more of this, if less than that.  Though, too, it really does take longer than anticipated, there is almost always more to do than what was initially considered, it's just how it goes.  I'll keep at it.

I am getting excited about the dumpster arriving.  That will give me a very good shot at resetting life here.  Room will be made.  Things will be going, being organized for what is staying, and stored.  And, I will be able to get volumes out, at will.  Not... just so much, once a week, if I remember.  Not their fault, mind you.   My memory is poor.

Well, on to a second lunch?  So be it.  Then the rabbits, a shower, shave, dishes, laundry, and some cleaning in this the computer room.  Perhaps, just maybe, some work on the cages later.  Hmm... I have to find the feeders, though, first.  Oh, and the little wheel cutter.  If I can find those, setting the feeders up shouldn't take but a few minutes.  Later.

Still going.

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It always takes more time, and there is more involved than anticipated.  Dishes were hit, and are clean.  They will need to be rinsed, after I shower.  Cat litter, and feeding, has been tended.  I was going to do chores, but waterers... I didn't have enough full.  So I filled them.  I am letting them warm now.

As well, I've gotten four boxes from upstairs.  And put bags in the front room so as to begin cleaning, and emptying the bins in that room.  When I get to it, I will have what is needed.  I have been going through the boxes, upstairs, as I go as well.  Bits and pieces of work here and there.

Oh, a few more things to be washed were brought down and put in the washing machine.  I just need to shower, then I can do those last two loads.  There might be enough for a third, wool socks and such.  Somewhere in there I need to make lunch.  I'm thinking eggs and fried ground pork.  Perhaps a fatted coffee, with protein.

It's pretty chilly out.  It was 12 to 14 earlier.  And, while it has risen to 22 to 24 F?  There is something tight in the air out there.  It's a hard cold.  I don't know if I'll do much, beyond feeding and watering the rabbits.  But maybe.  Though I would like to put Hazel in with Red.  See if they won't do a bit more than the other two.  Ugh.

If I can't get out to the cages, to work on things, because I'm not up to facing the cold, I'll do a bit more in the house.  I can begin sorting boxes a bit more closely, then bringing definite toss boxes down.  As well, I can work on laundry while going up and down, taking it up... sorting it... that sort.

I really need food though.  I best get to it.  Later.

Up, and right to it.

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A few boxes down, dishes given a once over, laundry set for a final drying.  I didn't start laundry, as I am hoping for a shower before long.  And, have clothes to go in with the first load set to go.  Second too, actually, more whites.  I didn't get the dishes to completion, but gave them a solid hit and set them to soak again.  Boxes where placed in this room, ready to go.  Some of the boxes, upstairs, I will be going through again.  Ugh.

Blood sugar is a bit high, at 151 fasting.  I ate late.  Hungry.  More hungry.  Tried to keep it down, but working late and the body just demands food.  Not always do I eat correctly in those cases.  Too many carbs.  While I used lower carb nut/protein bread, in smaller size, I had two.  The potted/canned meat isn't a problem.  But the breads were.  Still, okay.  I start where I start.  Spilled milk, and such.

Up a bit late, but then I wasn't down until... 01:30 to 02:30.  So a 09:00 wakeup isn't horrible.  Further, I have been trying to wake since 06:00.  I set the alarm for then, and 08:00.  I did try, just couldn't quite do it.  I have to go to bed earlier to wake earlier.  Usually.  Or... just not sleep.  If that can be a bit rough.

So, dishes and a shower, after I have waken.  If this next washing doesn't finish them to my liking, I will simply put them in the dishpans, and set them aside.  Take my shower, and set them to soak again.  But if I can get them clean enough?  Meh, I'll still set them aside, and leave them in a rinse after I am done.  A hot rinse will give me an hour to rest, after a shower and shave.  Yea, I know.  But... it's how it goes, at least here at home.

What else today?  Probably two loads of laundry, both of which are waiting on my shower.  One or two more batches of dishes.  But I'll need to clean and clear the freezer top.  It isn't much work, but there is some there.  Chores, and the girls, of course.  And my food.  Breakfast water is going, should be ready.

Then?  A bit more cleaning in here.  Adding feeders to the row of cages installed, and maybe the split condo.  Getting the roof off the feeder hutch, if I can find hinges.  Then adding those hinges, to allow the roof to lift.  And, then, adding a divider in there, too.  Probably making a larger area... either for more kits, or for larger ones... however that works out.  Hmm... could set up slots to make it even or with larger spaces, so I can adjust as needed?  Yes, yes I do think that would be best.

Then?  If I can get through all that, perhaps see if Hazel will breed with another male.  I'm still not convinced she breed, and I need her pregnant.  She has been a mom before, I just hope she can, and will, do that again.  Ugh.  With only one little buck, though, I can only let him at it a week apart.  Virility would, could, suffer.  And even he might suffer.  I would like to get three little does going, if possible, through time.  And the big girl.

Anything else?  Hmm...  Perhaps begin putting the big bucks out in the shed, at least one for now... assuming I get the feeders in.  That's a lot.  If I can get that done, I should be okay for a while.  If I get those things done, I'll take a break, and think about what else is possible today.  We all have doubts, but you never know.

Now to litter, breakfast, setting up a time for feeding the girls.  Oh, I have to refill waterers.  I may have enough for this morning, but may want some for this evening, and definitely onward.  Getting low, if I am not out.  I'll have to check.  Up and at it, with plans for more.  Later.

I love it...

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When I meet a white knight, who thinks... most of what they think.

Actually?

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Lots of plans.  As usual.  Now, lately, while I haven't been doing what I had planned, I have, with some help or solo, gotten to other things.  Not a bad gig, to be honest.  The pens, at least put in place... rabbits being set in together to breed... showering every other day... boxes down, out, and more going.

But today, I really wanted to finally do some of the house chores which have been being neglected.  And, even with what else I did today, I finally got a couple of loads of dishes set to soak overnight.  And started a load of laundry.  Which I will put into the dryer yet tonight, as I gather clothes to take upstairs for sorting tonight or tomorrow.  And, finally, I started organizing in this, the front room.

On that last, I thought I would get through it a lot faster, and better, than what ended up.  On the one hand, it looks more like a bigger mess than when I started.  On the other hand, there was a whole lot more there to do than I could possibly have anticipated.  Boxes, some full, some empty, some with packing.  Ugh.  Lots more than anticipated, or easily visible.

Still, I got groups of things to be tossed more organized, went through several boxes and got item boxes organized a bit, plus pulled another half dozen boxes, or more, to be taken apart.  It's still a bit of a mess, but... I am getting there.  Still, to not have to wake up to so much ugliness in the morning, I will break the empties down tonight, and stack the boxes with keepers... or at least items which need to be gone through... into a nice group before going on to bed.

A bit of a break first.  I hit it hard, trying to make sure I got something done.  And, now I have gotten things done.  To do a bit more.  At least set the laundry over to the dryer, though set up a load for in the morning.  I won't start it tonight, just have it ready.  The boxes, as mentioned.  Some to be broken down, others to be collected.  Hopefully to have room for the trash boxes from upstairs.  I won't get to those tonight.  But, maybe, I could start bringing them down, tomorrow, a few at a time... just every time I come down for the day, or for other needs to be upstairs.  

I may hit the dishes, a first pass, yet tonight.  I'd like to get a shower in tomorrow, so... yea.  Hitting them, then resetting them, would make that more likely.  Tomorrow?  Actually, opening up a path for the recliners to be removed is primary.  Then dishes and a shower.  Maybe a shave.  And laundry.  Plus chores and feeding the girls and myself as well.

At some point, I'll have to get trash out, from this room.  Just getting that out will really help.  If I am as much making trash by going through things as finding.  Packing material, mostly.  Though there is more.  Paper goods, but... trash.  Ugh.  Still, quite happy.  I do have to go upstairs.  Forgot all of my box breaking knives up there.  So I will bring a few boxes down yet tonight.  That'll give me incentive to create a specific space for future trash boxes.

Yea.  Yes.  I'm... getting to it.  I may continue some of that the following day, but I may get to the newly set up rabbit pens, adding feeders to them, adding branches, for the rabbits to chew on, making sure they have a place to stand, off the caging.  Things like that.  Well, and the roof of the feeder hutch, and a divider for that and the twin rabbit condo.

Yeah, I'll... start up again.  I am starting up this week.  This is my third day back on medicine, if insulin has been more consistent.  Things are improving, even with it being cold.  I have been blasting the furnace... needing it.  Sometimes cold anyway.  Still, it helps.  It helps when I can use the help, not before.  But, each day, lately, I have been hitting points where it does help.  Very, very good.

Later, or more likely goodnight.  Not quite through, but done posting.  Sleep well.  Blessings.  And all the good jazz.

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Not everything planned.  I couldn't get boxes down from upstairs.  Not enough spit left.  But, I did get another half dozen to dozen boxes from the laundry room.  I thought they had stuff in them.  And a few did, but not much.  So, I sorted, stacked, and carried those out.  Then broke them down.

Laundry was put in the dryer.  That which needed a final warming spin was spun, then I traded out the dry for the wet and there it goes.  I couldn't do dishes, either.  I was hoping to get a bit done, on those, but no.  I am simply too tired at this point.  A fatted coffee, as I go to bed.  With some protein.

But, really, now, for sure, bedtime.  Yes, the room still looks a mess.  I need to do trash detail tomorrow.  It'll still be messy until things go.  I think I have space for boxes, from upstairs.  Maybe not all of them, but I do have a place for some number of boxes.

Not a bad day.  Medicine has been taken, all save slow acting insulin.  I'll get to that as I set up a final coffee.  Oh, I best clear litter.  I did it this morning, but haven't done it since.  Yea, gotta keep up on that.  Work, work, work, work, work!  But it has to be done.  And, today, I can do it.  Maybe tomorrow.  Or, maybe not.  Goodnight.

Got the rabbits sexed.

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I did get the right one in the right cage.  But... visually, I could not be certain.  And she is a big girl.  Mean.  Doesn't want to play.  Long claws, and teeth to boot.  I had to hold her while my friend checked her tender vitals.  Definitely a girl.  She had no shame, gladly.  Was just happy to be let back in her cage.

I'm still not convinced they breed.  So, tomorrow, I will put her in with Red.  So named because he has redish fur.  I will be able to tell those two apart.  I'm not even sure those two will breed.  If I don't think so, I will put her in with the other males until I think she has breed.  Ugh.

Blood sugar is doing better, today, mostly.  121 fasting, 85 later, then 113 just now.  All good numbers.  I did, obviously, take a small booster of fast acting.  I just... had a feeling I should.  Normally, at 121 fasting, I won't.  Sometimes, though, and quite often well, I go by instinct, or... premonition?  Yea.  There is something more to my thinking than pure logic.  Some animal, some spiritual, some... something else.  I just go too far that way, just... give it some weight, sometimes.

I gave him the gift.  I think he likes it.  They use the chem-pack handwarmers on the job, which fit in the gloves.  Though he thinks he has a use for this, too.  I showed him the upgrades.  I'm not quite M, but... I have my moments.  All good.

I may try to bring a few boxes down.  Well, set up some dishes first.  Then set a load to wash?  Then bring a few boxes down.  Hmm... perhaps I should organize down here, first.  Yea.  I'll do that tonight.  Starts on laundry and dishes, and get this room ready for 'to go' boxes.  Then, maybe, bring some down in the morning.  After, perhaps, doing a bit more laundry care upstairs?  Something.

Tired.  Medicine is back on track, and I don't feel rough today.  A bit achy, I think from restarting medicine.  But lightly achy.  I'll try to get the world back in order, and seriously.  With the dumpster coming early next week, I want loads ready.  The recliners out first, then boxes on top.  Then organizing things.  Then a couch ready to go, and the living room mostly emptied.

I am hoping to have one load ready to go by the end of the first or second week, and maybe another load by the third or fourth week?  I don't think there will be more.  But, the bed and couch will have to be taken separately.  A trailer is available for that.  Ugh.  I might have my house back by the end of the next month, or two at most.

I've been planning, waiting, for this for a while, a long while.  I just... needed some help getting it going.  Which... I asked for, and received.  Deserve?  Who deserves goodness?  Then again, given what Christ offered, it's... not too much to ask for a little help.  Later.

Complain?

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Me?  Aye!  Loudly, often.  But, it doesn't stop there.  As mentioned, I was greatly disappointed with the zippo hand warmer.  Using it last night was... less than impressive.  So?  So I went looking, while waking.  And I found information.  I found it in two places, but one of the places didn't... explain it, or in a way, specifically, on that vid, which made sense to me.  I found it in another vid, which exclusively described what to use, where to get it, and how to apply it.

And?  And I... just happened to have all the components.  So?  So I tried it.  And?  And it sure seems to work!  Much warmer.  So, I got the other one out, and got it set up as well.  Now I have both running, in my pockets, as I get ready to go do chores.  I checked the temp, earlier.  I thought it read 14 F, but can't remember for sure.  Will check again as I get to chores.

Ah, the vid, and credit...  The other guy, I think, was being secretive, as he wanted to sell the material from his own stock, rather than have people use what they already had, or even know what could be used.  I have done soldering, in tight places, so needed the 'cloth', and had it on hand.  I was worried, at first, about it needing a lot, but, really, I barely used one very small portion, and probably won't need more.  This stuff won't burn off.

A bit later.

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I set the alarms.  One at 06:00, one at 08:00.  It was a bit after the latter before I could find my feet.  I wasn't able to go to sleep until late.  Working that little bit, later in the day, sort of... excited the body.  It was a bit after midnight before I could go down.  No whine, just understanding.

With things nearly set up, in the outbuilding, I may try to finish last touches.  A divider panel in the new smaller intended to be  double rabbit condo.  It needs to be cut, fit, then reinforced.  As well, I need feeders on what is to be the bucks' dorm.  Then again, I do believe I will put the ladies outdoors, until/unless I get a few more?  Probably all told.

Even if I get a few more big does, there will be enough room outdoors for them.  The reason I am putting them outdoors is because those cages are much roomier.  I am hoping they will have an easier time kitting in them.  The only way to get them indoors, possibly, is to build more and larger cages, fit for the nearer outbuilding.  And, believe or not, building cages is very expensive.  Amazingly expensive.  Just the wire caging, but wood last I checked was still a bit high.  Everything has been jacked, and it was expensive before that.

Beside getting feeders installed, and a divider panel, I might also try to get the roof of the feeder hutch cut, and hinges attached.  Perhaps a divider panel in there too.  All today?  Who knows.  With the big things, that I can't do solo, out of the way... maybe.  Or some of the things.  Oh, did I mention?  I got a door on the hutch out there.  It will keep a dog out, unless his owner is with him and opens the door.  Though I would like to keep the door open during the day.  Perhaps I could put a screen door on, as well?  Or... some fixture made to act as such?  We will see.

Blood sugar is better, at 121 fasting.  It keeps dropping, so I am keeping the slow acting insulin at it's current level until that number stabilizes.  If it ends up going too low, I will back it off a bit.  At this point, I am taking 46 cc's of slow acting.  Even then, only eating more rightly than wrongly allows it to work.  Proteins and fats, and carbs of mostly fiber.

Oh, I tried a zippo handwarmer last night.  I had been a bit afraid.  To be honest, I... wasn't impressed.  It won't heat a space.  And, even when held mostly while sleeping, it really didn't warm me much.  And upstairs was around 57 F.  So... not something I would highly recommend.  I will try it in other situations, perhaps setting it up when I go out to feed and water the rabbits... keeping it in a pocket, so as to try to warm the hands between actions?  I have two of them.

And, yes, you can shut them off.  A glad sandwich bag, it is said, will do the trick.  Just seal it, and that will turn it off.  And store the fuel so it doesn't evaporate as quickly out of it.  All of zippo's gear is notorious for evaporating dry, quickly.  More of their fluid has gone airborne than has been burned by such vast ratios... making money on nothing.  Still, will see if these work, and if I can burn more of their lighter fluid than waste?

Now for medicine, breakfast, and shortly, feeding, litter, watering, and maybe a start to dishes and laundry.  Then, later, getting to the rabbitry works.  Have a good day.  Stay warm, dry, and ready.  And get to it.  Later.

A visitor.

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Came by to see what could be done.  And for some business.  So... I had things to do!  Rabbit cages, in the outbuilding, the line of them and the little double condo.  It was some wrestling, with heavy metals, wood, saws, and else.  But, between the two of us, we got them in and they seem secure.  Now I have a place for all the gents.

With help, too, I checked the questionable rabbits.  All males.  I only have one giant female.  I better hope she can deliver.  I will be watching her extra closely.  She is experienced, but old.  I can hope she can produce.  If so, I'll keep several of her does.  I have several bucks not of her line, so... should work... if she can deliver.  Her kits are golden.  The others?  We'll see.  They aren't very good at production.  Can hope for them to work out better, in a better sized cage, with more careful watching, and knowing what I am looking for.  Even a whiff of extra fur, and the kit boxes go in.  Plus, during the week they are beginning to be due, and onward, much more careful watching... until it works or didn't.  Ugh.

Now I need to get the roof off the feeder hutch, and get that hinged and separated.  I want to keep the big and little ones separated, or the little ones may well end up eaten.  Rabbits are NOT friendly.  Young enough, though, they may be just fine.  Maybe.

Quite a bit done today, actually.  Sure, I didn't get to dishes or laundry, or yet.  But I did plenty of extra.  I'll try for the feeder pen tomorrow, but also dishes and laundry.  Oh, and since I'm not having sardines and crackers tonight, I better have another fatted coffee.  Life is good.  Getting better.  Even if I felt rough this morning, and still do actually.  I am, probably, going to be getting over that soon...  Being on, and staying on, the right medicines... with a regular supply... Yea.

Blood sugar is excellent!  Without fast acting, today, or anything but regular eating, blood sugar is 98 just now.  I can deal with that.  Nothing extra before bedtime, just slow acting as I go to sleep.  A very good, exceptional, day.  Especially considering the start and even ongoing pain.  I may take some painpills.  I've... been a good boy.  And, just from the work I have done, I will suffer extra.  So, a treat, perhaps.

I often feel like an animal in a trap.  The trap is life.  What I have to do, not so much to survive, but to not suffer so terribly, are tricks no man in my condition should be expected to do.  How does a cripple feed and tend himself?  He... often... doesn't.  Still, it's what I have, and I have decided to work with God in His plans.  So... here I am.  And there I go.  Later.

Took two hours!

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The grill just wouldn't light.  I even got a fresh bag of coals.  Nope.  Something about the weather.  And, even when it did start?  It was a very cold fire.  I emptied the sediment pan, that wasn't it.  I tried every trick I could to get the fire hot enough.  Nope.  Even then, it ended up being a slow and low cook.  However?

They were absolutely perfect.  Not underdone, no pink in there.  But not overdone.  Juicy slabs of the best thick cut pork chops into which you could ever hope to set your teeth.  Oh, delicious.  I also had veggies with it, in butter.  I was going to have sardines later, but decided BUTTER sounded better.  A fatted protein coffee now, and one later, and all it good for the day.  I hit calories on the dot, or close enough.  Carbs and fat well under, and I hit 200 protein!  That... is my goal.

I am trying the vegetable protein powder.  It's not bad.  Oddly, it has more of a powdered milk taste than the actual beef based one.  Still, I don't mind, or care.  As long as it gets me the protein.  It has almost twice the calories of beef based though, so best to use the beef based more often.  Still, a good call when calories are just a tad low.

I have begun thinking of food as tools.  Tools by which I may try to rebuild my body.  Tools to let it heal itself.  Tools to obtain that which seems to be needed and wanted, to some degree.  I am trying to get away from food as an end unto itself.  It's a difficult row to hoe, back from that way.  But... maybe... doable.  If the extra protein does begin showing, I may well be more motivated to get back to swimming.  And, if more able through things, back to hiking.

Life is good.  With a little care, attention to detail, effort, and will, it can be better still.  As tough as life has been, I am grateful, more so now than ever, that God gave... even forced... more chances... opportunities... on me.  There was a time I would have jacked Him in the mouth.  Then again, I won't say I didn't try.  *grins*

He laughed... turned the other cheek?  *grins*  Maybe, maybe.

Anyway... doing well, doing more.  Getting going.  Oh, and the V.A. called back.  The doctor has me set to get the meds.  Still has to go through pharmacy, but usually the doc's bona fides are the only real required signatory.  Check.  So, I should be able to get on with making sure this medicine will work, and seeing if I can't tinker-train the group of medicines into a better bp and pulse.  Innit?  Cheers.

Electric was out for a bit.

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They let us know they would be tinkering, had to take it down.  I think today was the day, if I sort of forgot?  I'm not sure today was the day, but it would make sense.  If so, it may go down again, still, if need be.  It could go down, it was suggested, between 08:30 and 14:30?  Something like that.  The whole time, part of the time, off and on, they just couldn't say.  Some problem needed  fixing.

I realize, I have no way to cook easily, without electricity.  Not good.  I do have the grill, charcoal type.  But that doesn't heat veggies the best.  And, even meat sometimes.  I had a heck of a time getting it lit today.  Still not sure it is going well.  It seemed warm enough, so I put the chops on.

Beautiful pork chops.  Two, twins, 1.66 pounds combined, marbled as well as any ribeye one could ever hope to see.  I am just hoping it gets hot enough to cook them!  Ugh.  Oh, and right as I was getting ready to put them on, electric came back, so veggies are going.  Carrots, broccoli, and cauliflower.  I know, it seems old, but it works.

I did get a shower, chores done, some cleaning up in this room.  As well, I have the rabbits going at it, I hope.  I am starting to wonder if the doe is a doe, the big one.  Did I only end up with one big doe, the rest bucks?  Ugh.  I'll... figure it out eventually.  If so, the he I thought is a she would be culled.  Then again, if she is a he, he is a big healthy buck.  Might have to get rid of a different one.  Then again, with that many bucks, I'll probably get rid of two of them.  Just don't need, can't use, that many.  Will... find out soon enough.

A shave, some more cleaning, breaking down a few boxes I have cleared, dishes, and laundry...  I did bring the rest of the laundry down or out of the bathroom.  Not sure I want to start a load until later, when I am more certain electricity won't go off.  I don't know how the machine resets when electricity goes off.

Anything else?  I don't know.  Ah, but I also called the V.A., asked my doctor for longer scripts on the newest medicine.  I am hoping, by one three month stint, I will either have it all down, or have decided not to go with it.  It depends on how well I function, how good I can get my numbers without going too low, and... actually just those two things.  But they are vital.  Still, there is some solid hope that, with this medicine, and maybe some very minor tinkering, I can get bp to be just right.  And, blood sugar... I keep getting it close, then messing up.  In part from pushing.  But, if bp is better, perhaps pushing won't be so hard on me that my hungers go feral?  Maybe.

Then my mother actually called me for once.  I don't care.  I call when I do.  I don't need them to call me.  Brother, mother, else.  I'll contact them, from time to time, whoever, kin near or far, and I don't expect them to call me.  They have... lives.  I don't.  It's as simple as that.

Well, time to check the chops.  Good afternoon and day.

Playing...

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An old tune, not exactly a favorite, just well known, well worn.  It's named The Back on Medicine Blues.  Had a headache all night, as I slept.  Could feel it right through my sleep, so sleep was a bit less than stellar.  Dreamed of a few women I really liked but never got with.  Yeah, there... were a few.  One in particular seemed to be the focus though.  I didn't like her name, can't remember it as I wake.  Some names are pretty, some are sexy, some are just... dumb sounding... for women, especially pretty or sexy women.

Yes, the headache remains this morning.  A few painpills, because it is a rough one.  As if my brains had been frozen, then hit so as to crack... and given nerves to feel that, without it being fatal somehow.  The base of the skull, too.  And as if a spike had been driven in where the skull and neck hinge.

Still, it's the price.  But, I am going to try to remember to call my doctor, so as to get a three month supply of these new medicines, so I can give them more of a trial without having to remember to reorder, then refill, every time I turn around.  Time is different when one is mostly dead.

I thought I heard the plow go through last night.  I think I actually rolled quickly enough to look out and see it go on down the highway, leaving town.  With the headache, sleep wasn't very deep.  Still, couldn't be sure.  I was planning on getting out and clearing the drive, if so.  But, looking out, there really isn't enough to plow.  It's just a thick dusting.  From what I think I am looking at, even clearing the sidewalks... there just isn't enough that the shovels would really do anything.  I'll know better when I get to chores.

Oh, after chores, I'll give the bucks a bit more time with the does, and see if it works for them.  Two breeding periods, within eight to twelve hours, can really improve potential for pregnancy and numbers in the litters.  Or so I have it.  And, since not all of them make it, in any case, I might as well give it as much chance as possible.

I won't have the little buck breed again for about a week.  But I will try to have the other big buck breed.  If one won't, the other, I am pretty sure, will.  My main problem is cage spaces.  I just don't have enough.  I should cull, but I need to know which one to cull!  Gah.  Actually, I am pretty sure which one needs to be culled.  She was a bully, then refused to tend her kits.  And she is... now... a serious twitch.  I just... hate to do it.  Hmm...  Anyway.

Now, to get breakfast, wake, see if the headache will ease...  Get a shower, set up dishes finally?  Shave perhaps.  Begin laundry.  Call the V.A.  Chores, litter, feeding the girls... I reset their water last night, with indoor water.  They seem... fine with it.  So, from now on, I'll just change it every few days, rather than holding out for hydrant water.  Ugh.

Blood sugar is better, at 138 fasting.  It was 159 yesterday.  It shouldn't have been high yesterday.  Though, from the day before, it had been oddly low for what I ate.  So... sometimes it seems to hold off, or even last high for a while.  The body does whatever it damn well does, and we just live in it.  I don't think health is actually a science, and I think doctors damn well know it.  For one thing, if it was, I would be dead.  No one, just on this one set of things alone, survives... having had bp average 218/180 for six months isn't... possible.  And I've done it twice now, or three times is it?  Oh, and pulse averaged 130 for that last time anyway.  The highest I saw it was 170... my pulse.  That, any of it but certainly all of it, is beyond lethal.

Anyway...  I'm back on the chain gang, and will pay in the short term, if hopefully it gets things back in order in short order.  I am still attempting to cut here, as I have added there, to get a balance between too low and too high.  I'm not sure if cutting the little carvedilol pill was too much, or too little, or either way by how much.  May have to add it back, and cut something else.  I could cut the second newest pill in half.  I now have... methods and madness.  I just need to keep in medicine long enough to really give it a go before... falling out of medicine and losing the cohesion, getting messed up in the reorder process, and such.  Ugh.  It's an ugly little life at times.  Everything can go off the rails in a nosebleed second.  For little or no seeming cause.  Still, it's what I've got.  And I will do my best.  Amen.

Well... on to breakfast, and maybe a... making some room for it before.  Bleh.  I'll let it brew while I stir up a brew myself.  Yea, I'm trying to say it without saying it.  Have a great day.  And may you brew well, yourself.  *grins*  If it's an easy one, it can be a pleasant one.  Later.

Rabbit Valentines?

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It has started.  I set one of the small does in with the only small buck.  That... was quick.  They call it a fall off.  Only... he did it twice before actually falling off.  I left them together for an hour.  I will put them together, again, tomorrow.  As well, I put two of the big ones together.  First with the seasoned buck, but he didn't seem interested.  Too old?  So I put her with the younger buck.  Nope?  I left them together for an hour as well, and will put them together again, tomorrow.

As I rotate them through, I'll do what I can.  I have one open cage, for adjusting.  With only one small buck, he can only breed about once a week, or so I thought I heard.  I have three large bucks, and two large does?  So, someone will be the odd man out.  To the victor, the spoils.  I have four small does.  I'll see how this works.

I would like to get two of each size breed.  And then see how they do.  Between me not realizing they were what all they were, or recognizing the signs that they were about to kit, or there being no signs, it hasn't been successful so far.  I will begin checking them in 30 days, looking for fur being tufted as if to nest.  If I see that, I'll put a kit box in for them right away.

The last one I got to breed, and was watching, took 54 days to birth!  I just don't know what is up with that.  Still, I'll watch, see what happens.  With four of them, hopefully, pregnant, there should be enough rabbits for food.  Maybe.  Who knows.  Can't count eggs, or kits, before they hatch.

I did a few other things, and tried a few other things today.  Not the projects I had in mind, but a few things elsewise.  And, it looks like I might be to bed much earlier tonight.  I wore myself out.  So tired.  Sleep should be good.  Blood sugar is 114, as I end the day.  I forgot to take it any other time today except fasting.  I did take 12 cc's fast acting, with breakfast, as the fasting reading was a bit high.  I still need to take slow acting insulin and night pills.  But... all good.

Goodnight.

The beginning of a start.

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Chores, litter, cats, and myself fed.  Medicine, pills, taken.  Blood sugar was oddly high this morning, at 159.  So I'll be taking a bit of fast acting shortly, with kefir.

With pills back in the offing, I'll try to keep up, then begin checking blood pressure in a week.  If it's still a bit rough, check it every few days until it is better, or at least stable, then decide where to go from there.  Trying to get it just so, not too low, not too high, not to disabling.  Tricky business.

Then a bit of downtime.  It was 6 or 7 F out there.  Crisp.  The rabbits were very happy to get water.  I'll try to remember them again, tonight.  I have enough waterers, set up, for another two waterings for sure.  If those freeze quickly, they might last several days.  Then I either have to thaw the hydrant or just use tap water.  They really don't like that, but if it's that or nothing, they will make do.  Same with the girls.  The reverse osmosis simply doesn't put out enough for multiple rabbits and cats, if the girls didn't like it when I tried with them.  They like regular old, unsoftened, untreated, tap water.

After I warm the bones, and get my breath back, I am hoping to get a shower and shave.  Probably another break after that.  Then?  Dishes, a start of several dishpans of those.  And, getting laundry going.  Nearly done, if I may wash some previously washed clothes to get wrinkles out, or if they don't smell so fresh.  

I have mostly sorted what I took upstairs.  The next trick is to find places to put various things.  Getting it stowed, to free up the baskets again.  And, take more up.  Since turning the upstairs into a bedroom, I haven't quite gotten clothing storage set up.  I still need to get a bar, for the closet, for hanging clothes.  The standing closet I have is okay, for t-shirts.  Not for slacks, or very many shirts.  I would like to, eventually, get a fashion like rack, and a plastic dust covering for it.

It isn't even that I have that many clothes, it's more that my clothes take a lot of space.  Being a pseudo giant just... has it's problems.  Clothing storage is one of them.  One of my pairs of blue jeans probably weighs as much as some children's whole wardrobe.  I'd say women too, but women... love their clothes.  Just in bulk, it would take three of my jeans to equal a moderate income woman's wardrobe... if she's on the thinner side.  :p  Even a few of my t-shirts, especially long sleeve, are made of a lot of material.  Two yards, probably?  And I like them thick.  Right.

Even if I just check, and bring down, two to four boxes a day, I... could get the whole lot set to go down and ready in a week.  Then begin going through more boxes.  Go through them, set them where the others where, then, when I have sorted what is to go, get those down here as well.  Then hit a few nooks and crannies, empty spaces of any possible empty or full boxes, and sort through those.  When I get this room full, again, stop until the dumpster is here.  Though, to be honest, the first things I want to go are the old recliners.  And, maybe, any other smaller furniture I wish to be rid.  Then boxes on top.  I am hoping to have a load out and gone in that first week of having it here.  I think it is $22 per load.  So get either two or three loads that first month.  That might be it, or... not.  I just don't really know.

Though, too, some things won't fit in there.  An old bed, maybe two?  A couch, for sure.  I think I will keep the love seat, for now.  Bigger items.  Since some, much probably, is staying, it's difficult to get a grasp on what is going.  How much space that will use in a dumpster, and such.  Sorting, boxing, and labeling, what is staying, is next.  Though, too, if I don't use some of that in the next year?  I may do this again, next year.  Almost searching for stuff to toss.

Yea.  Will see.  Best get some kefir, insulin, and resting in.  Then get to it.  Later.

Down and up a bit earlier.

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I think it was 23:00, perhaps a quarter too? when I went down.  it has been midnight to two lately.  Trying to push back.  It... has worked, for short periods, recently.  Not for long, so far.  But... I... have hope to be able to fully regain the day.  Up at about 07:30, but tinkered a bit, organizing upstairs.  And resetting medicine, finally.

An alarm is set for 09:30, at which time the rabbits and cats will be fed and watered, and cat litter cleared.  Breakfast, for me, will happen while I wait.  Chia breakfast, as I call it.  With protein powder.  The last of the eggs, later, fried... with bacon.  And, maybe, a slice of toast.  This bread is tiny, but... that's okay.  And I only get one.  But... total carbs, even, are easily within my allowances, by twice or three times, without giving anything for fiber (which, with many companies, I don't trust their counts on any of it).  

Still, will find out.  If blood sugar spikes, I know it's a lie.  Their intent, or deceit, matters little.  It comes down to measurements, readings, reactions, my body's.  And, later still?  I'm not sure.  Something something... meat sticks and cheese?  I probably, definitely, need to thaw meat.  It would be nice to be able to have a slice of 'toast' from time to time, though.  Even if it is, supposed to be anyway, made of mostly seeds and not-wheats.  The crackers work, so there is some hope.  Oh... sardines would be good.  I have some I don't eat with crackers, I like them well enough on their own.

I am still hoping to get going today.  A shower, and shave again.  It's been a few days.  Dishes, laundry, at least starts.  Trash and recycling at least... reviewed.  To be honest, I don't think I have much trash to go.  This week has been... slow that way.  Well, and getting boxes down from upstairs, and maybe going through the boxes remaining.  Bringing down what should go.  Stacking them in this front room, for a quick loading out of the dumpster, immediately.  If I can fill that, the first time, in that first week, I will.  The rest will be still done as quickly as possible.  The more room I make, the more room I have to clear, organize.  Ugh.  That all isn't just today, but this week, and month really.

I may lose things by accident.  I will definitely be pairing on purpose.  But, too, I will try to keep what is good to keep, and have on hand.  I have been collecting, but not just... things.  I have, generally, tried to collect that which could be useful in a survival, of minor or major types.  From various cordage, to tarp and leather repair kits, food and water cooking and storage, chemicals for various things... from odd newage cooking to old soap making.  Some of these things I will keep.  And, maybe, with some room, begin experimenting with?  I'd still love to try to make my own liquid soaps.  Perhaps shampoo.  And, hand lotions, as many of the commercial lotions are oddly hard on my hands.  Chemicals and old skin don't mix.  I honestly wonder if they are making stuff just to hurt people, at this point.  As with fluoride, are they using the human population as their chemical dumping grounds?  Are we cleaning up their chemical messes?  I really think so.  Then again, how much of what they make is ever even sold?  Do they even care?  Odd, the world we now live in.

Well... on to breakfast, then the day.  Good morning and day.

Slogging along.

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Not doing anything.  Just too tired.  I did finally get chores done.  I have been feeding the girls.  I got their litter this morning, need to do it again.  I keep thinking on work, but it keeps not happening.  I'll keep seeing about it.  It will, eventually, happen.  

I even turned the furnace up, way up.  To try to warm myself.  It just isn't happening.  So cold.  Dressed warmly.  Plenty of warm things to drink and eat through the day.  But... no real warmth, inside.

Blood sugar has been reasonable though.  After all meals, save chicken in a bit, blood sugar has been 109, 124, and 128 most recently.  Can't really dose with it that low.  It's a bit of a risk to do so.  Chicken, and steamed veggies if possible.  With butter.  Oh, and kefir.  I suppose I could take a small, very small, say 4 to 6 cc's of fast acting, with supper?  Yea.  

I did take the risk, and call my brother.  One of his daughters has covid (or... so the tests say).  And his mil is in the hospital.  Though not for cancer, as I had worried.  Her back, a couple of cracks in it.  They are going to try to repair it... epoxy or some such?  Crazy, but okay.  At least there is something they can do.  A woman we knew since childhood is in an induced coma, with covid.  She is the only one I have heard of in such a state, personally.  Now, she is nearing my mother's age, and with... other problems and health issues.  So... I am surprised more people haven't gone down.  I still more believe that this is just the flu, it's the 'vax that will get you, not the flu.

It looks like Biden is planning to hand Ukraine back to Russia.  With Biden?  Anything he does or says, expect just the opposite to be the outcome.  They are arming the Ukraine, to set them up to fail.  It makes them think the West will do a thing, and they won't.  I honestly wonder if he is Russia's man.  He certainly seems to have been the Taliban's man.  Rigged from the start, to fail, at everything he does.  He even pooped his pants when meeting the pope.  Then again, perhaps that was planned too.  Both of them seem good for it.  It isn't even a matter of liking, or not, the man... either of them.  It's a matter of what they are, do, and how what they do turns out.

Planned.  He is trying to give the Ukraine, and probably Taiwan, away.  I wonder if he would surrender South Korea and Japan too?  For that may be the price to the East.  We'll see, I guess.  Cutting costs?  As they did in Vietnam?  Or just further degrading America and her allies?  He is an enemy of the state.

Well... on to something.  Reheating chicken, in the oven.  Trying to get the skin extra crispy.  That and getting veggies.  It's been a while and I really want something in the veggie department.  Last I checked it, it still looked good.  Later.

Up, later.

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My day is slipping.  I could not sleep until after midnight.  I couldn't wake until just here, now, around 09:00.  I simply, as little as I did, overdid... for the weather, season, sunlight, and all.  All good, I wouldn't have changed that.  Still, will fight to regain days as I recoup.  I want days!

Such beautiful dreams.  I have known, and been with biblically, some very pretty, sexy, and sometimes both, women.  I have sampled of the dreams of men.  I was moving to fast, in certain worlds, to be caught... at least after the first escaped through death.  She had me.  After her, I... wouldn't take it personal.

Still, moments.  Dreams of some of the splendor I have known.  It wasn't even sexual, it was just... soft moments, when I forgot the pasts and just enjoyed some time with a damn fine looking dame or dozen.  Just... moments, fragments of time in which I could love the one I was with.  And did.  I wish I could trade that all for having lived a life with just one woman.  Still, it is what I had.  And what I had, at times, was as grand as a man could hope.  

Some men have to pay gold, and more, for that.  I just enjoyed and then, sadly, went on my way.  I still wonder how many children out there are mine.  Three without, to me, a doubt.  Three others I am pretty sure about, but only found out by happenstance.  But... how many others?  If a woman has sex with a man because something about him drew her to him, she'll... keep the kid.  For pay or settling, only maybe.

Anyway.  A terribly good dream... or set of dreams.  Sometimes I'm not sure which.  Only that it was wonderful.  For all my sins, yet was I granted some love.

Today?  Same list as before.  Chores, food for all, water for the ingrates.  Litter.  Plus, I really want to get a shower, perhaps another shave, dishes started, and laundry back in the queue.  I think I can, lightly, hit those.  As sell, with room open in this front room, I'd like to begin bringing boxes down for the dumpster.  Stacking them neatly near the door.  And, at any time, begin sorting other boxes to go.

Whatever I can get done.  Hopefully more than less.  We will see.  Having the space to put discard boxes motivates.  How is it they say, success beckons or breeds success?  Right.  Now to clear then clean the mansion.  Oh yes.

Ah, and blood sugar is finally improving.  It is 109 fasting, this morning.  If tapping it with a mallet doesn't work, get a sledge hammer.  If that doesn't work, get a bigger hammer.  Now, I didn't have to go to even the sledge, I just had to remember to tap it.  Yes, taking slow acting, at night, regularly, will do.

Breakfast!  I already fed the girls.  Eggs and bacon.  The last of the former, plenty left of the latter.  All good, more coming this next week?  Well and rightly fed chickens produce the most fantastic of eggs.  I had found decent storeboughts, local pasture raised.  But... there is something about industrial eggs, no matter.  Soy?  Smaller lots?  Overused smaller lots?  They may roam, but do they really find any 'wild feed'?  These home chickens have plenty of yard, and do eat a goodly portion of wild.  Less so in winter, but... it's in there from the other seasons.  Changes the animal.

Best get to breakfast, and warming.  Seems chilly today, and overcast again.  I am hoping the sun will come out again, in the afternoon.  I love when it does that.  Later.