.
.
It is rare when my illness, whichever one, is painful of itself. Perhaps organs can grind in hurt, or a migraine will happen, I suspect, as side affects. Sometimes from an inability to eat or sleep right as much as from any more direct cause. Currently, however, whatever is wrong seems to lead to a more direct physical suffering. I cannot tell you, exactly, what it is. My body's ability to mitigate pain makes the source a disjointed thing. I can only, shallowly, sense the nature of the source. Even then it is a bit of a guess. Something in my body just isn't working, or a small set of things. Perhaps, in a watch that has several different integrated parts, which interact but aren't totally reliant somehow, where the minute and hour hands still, mostly, work, but the second hand gears are missing some steps, slipping several seconds each minute, so throwing the whole thing just a bit off. But it adds up quickly.
This isn't the worse pain I have known, not even close. Only unusual in that it seems to be directly sourced from, if I had to say, diabetes and the organs involved with it. What surprises me further is that my blood sugar isn't that far out of spec. Sure, at 250, it's high. But I have seen it at well over 600 for extended periods, and in this last year I have seen it 100 points higher, and more, without issue. Why this time?
I did some research. What I am on with the injections isn't all that high. Some use much more. If I can find a doc who will treat just this, I suspect he will increase the dosage a good bit. At least for a while. My syringes don't allow for much more, and the vials I get aren't lasting a full month as is, so I don't have much room for change, as is, on my end. At least I understand, or potentially, that now. It is difficult dealing with a medical system you can't really trust. On some things they are super, on other things they absolutely fail. And they are terrible with the snark, reverse psychology, and other sorts of crap. If you want to be a feminist, or progressive, don't take it into your profession, okay?
I dreamed again last night. I couldn't remember anything. Even as I was dreaming, and making sense of it, the memory was being lost shortly after understanding took place. Like watching a movie with a very limited short term memory. Eventually, and actually rather quickly into the dreaming (did it several times), it was like watching a movie in which you couldn't remember more than a few minutes from the past, so sort of got lost in it, hoping there were enough cues to keep you going. Though it seemed I never got lost. Perhaps enough memory remained to make the connections, just not drive some part of the mind into fuller understanding? If that makes sense. Read when you are too tired, sometimes, if you want to understand.
Oh, right. Last night I wanted to check the kefir again. So I consumed some after my last serum reading (284). I read it again, in an half hour. This time it dropped to 246. I simply don't get it. I am beginning to think the numbers have little or nothing to do with what I eat. It may have something to do with the regularity of consumption, and just natural function or lack of it... unrelated to food. And, perhaps, some other things my testing won't show. I have long suspected that though. Later.
Saturday, August 8, 2015
Not sure what the problem is, exactly.
.
.
It has something to do with blood sugar though. I took a fasting, or close to fasting, blood sugar test at around 18:00 yesterday. It was 248. I only had coffee until 23:00, took it again, it was at 251. I realized I hadn't taken my shot, so I did that, then tested at 3:30, it was 264. I though, perhaps, eating something might help. So I ate some of the grain and beans, plus a couple of brots right after that, then tested at 5:34... it came in at 285. Look, I am doing as much as well as I can, it just doesn't seem to matter. I haven't missed a shot in... a good long time. Food has been fairly regular and pretty good stuff. My body simply isn't functioning well.
My blood pressure, a second reading anyway, was only 130/80~90 I thought. So it's not bp. Perhaps the whey water, or kefir, is simply wrong for my condition. But soaking grains... I don't use full strength, just a tablespoon per cup of water. You can soak those things in vinegar, or even lemon juice, instead of the whey water. Honestly though, I don't think that will help. Heat exhaustion? Even with it being cooler than usual, that is possible. I wish I had a way to test the medicine they are sending me though. I am beginning to wonder if it is old, the wrong stuff... Seriously, I don't trust them. All of that seems really wrong.
One thing I remember, she wanted to send my scripts to a specific pharmacy. The np I saw. I was not interested in that. I wanted scripts I could take anywhere. If this is rigged, if the V.A. was pulling her strings, that would explain why she wouldn't even sign out scripts as she had said she would. It is possible. Yeah, I think they have that kind of pull. And, no, doctors can't all or always be trusted. Just some thoughts.
.
It has something to do with blood sugar though. I took a fasting, or close to fasting, blood sugar test at around 18:00 yesterday. It was 248. I only had coffee until 23:00, took it again, it was at 251. I realized I hadn't taken my shot, so I did that, then tested at 3:30, it was 264. I though, perhaps, eating something might help. So I ate some of the grain and beans, plus a couple of brots right after that, then tested at 5:34... it came in at 285. Look, I am doing as much as well as I can, it just doesn't seem to matter. I haven't missed a shot in... a good long time. Food has been fairly regular and pretty good stuff. My body simply isn't functioning well.
My blood pressure, a second reading anyway, was only 130/80~90 I thought. So it's not bp. Perhaps the whey water, or kefir, is simply wrong for my condition. But soaking grains... I don't use full strength, just a tablespoon per cup of water. You can soak those things in vinegar, or even lemon juice, instead of the whey water. Honestly though, I don't think that will help. Heat exhaustion? Even with it being cooler than usual, that is possible. I wish I had a way to test the medicine they are sending me though. I am beginning to wonder if it is old, the wrong stuff... Seriously, I don't trust them. All of that seems really wrong.
One thing I remember, she wanted to send my scripts to a specific pharmacy. The np I saw. I was not interested in that. I wanted scripts I could take anywhere. If this is rigged, if the V.A. was pulling her strings, that would explain why she wouldn't even sign out scripts as she had said she would. It is possible. Yeah, I think they have that kind of pull. And, no, doctors can't all or always be trusted. Just some thoughts.
Friday, August 7, 2015
Strange dream.
.
.
The dream was out of the ordinary for a number of reasons. The first was that it was quite short. There were only a few scenes/settings. Second, even in the few settings there were very few elements and details. This must be what most of you dream... or remember? How... claustrophobic. In the dream I found a song, created by some... special creature. A minor angel? A dear creature, I knew. Wouldn't face me directly, or show itself (seemed feminine, and like a child). I could sense but not see. It lead me to a place where I found a very special song. It was wrapped as if in an album. And though I took it, the song (in album and physical, sort of, form) remained plus I had a copy. Then an angel who had gone astray began tracking me. The little angel departed, but showed me where to go, how to get there, and left the notion of what to do in my mind.
I had to crawl up through a damaged building. Careful not to make too much noise, or fall through the gaps in the walls and floor. Up I climbed, to a part of the floor that was against the outer wall. Most of that floor was gone, so I had to crouch as close to the wall as possible. Through the hole in the floor I could see the 'song' and the approach to it. The failing angel approached. It didn't go all the way to the song. It tucked itself into the shadows, as if waiting for someone to go to the song.
At that point, the next to final bit from the lesser but true angel came to me... play the song. I was afraid. For if I played the song, the dark angel would surely find me. I was given no encouragement or further instructions. Still, I realized the little one had already saved me. And, if death was my fate, then at least I knew what it would be. Though, somehow, I... just believed. So I played the 'song'. No player was needed, just the will to have it sound. An interesting song. I heard it in my dream, but cannot remember how it went or the words. But it really was... hrmm... interesting. It was a kindness, a great one.
Anyway, I expected the falling angel to turn and come at me. As it turns out, however, it couldn't seem to hear the song from my copy, only from the original below. He moved closer to it, staying in the shadows. He was far more exposed in his new position. The final part of the dream was to shoot him, once, through the heart. He was just about directly below me, three stories down, an easy shot. I said a quick short prayer, and completed the instructions. He died, but did not bleed. It was merely a sort of flesh, but which hadn't ever quite been alive, not while he was in it. His spirit could no longer enter heaven, and without flesh he could not return to earth, so it fell the long dark fall. Not so far as Satan, but in with most of the Watchers.
--------
Even knowing (as far as the dream allows) that I am doing the right thing, I don't like such dreams. While angels are not beloved in the same way as men, they are quite dear to God. To see an angel fail is almost as harsh as seeing a man surrender his soul. Seeing a man die is far less, almost irrelevant in some circumstances, a mercy in others. But to see a man without faith die, to see the horror, to know he is ended badly and alone... these things trouble even my sometimes cold dark heart. More so when it is by my hand, even if through their choices. Now, doing God's will, with surety, is a huge easement. Some work is harder than other work, is all. Even for one of my nature.
.
The dream was out of the ordinary for a number of reasons. The first was that it was quite short. There were only a few scenes/settings. Second, even in the few settings there were very few elements and details. This must be what most of you dream... or remember? How... claustrophobic. In the dream I found a song, created by some... special creature. A minor angel? A dear creature, I knew. Wouldn't face me directly, or show itself (seemed feminine, and like a child). I could sense but not see. It lead me to a place where I found a very special song. It was wrapped as if in an album. And though I took it, the song (in album and physical, sort of, form) remained plus I had a copy. Then an angel who had gone astray began tracking me. The little angel departed, but showed me where to go, how to get there, and left the notion of what to do in my mind.
I had to crawl up through a damaged building. Careful not to make too much noise, or fall through the gaps in the walls and floor. Up I climbed, to a part of the floor that was against the outer wall. Most of that floor was gone, so I had to crouch as close to the wall as possible. Through the hole in the floor I could see the 'song' and the approach to it. The failing angel approached. It didn't go all the way to the song. It tucked itself into the shadows, as if waiting for someone to go to the song.
At that point, the next to final bit from the lesser but true angel came to me... play the song. I was afraid. For if I played the song, the dark angel would surely find me. I was given no encouragement or further instructions. Still, I realized the little one had already saved me. And, if death was my fate, then at least I knew what it would be. Though, somehow, I... just believed. So I played the 'song'. No player was needed, just the will to have it sound. An interesting song. I heard it in my dream, but cannot remember how it went or the words. But it really was... hrmm... interesting. It was a kindness, a great one.
Anyway, I expected the falling angel to turn and come at me. As it turns out, however, it couldn't seem to hear the song from my copy, only from the original below. He moved closer to it, staying in the shadows. He was far more exposed in his new position. The final part of the dream was to shoot him, once, through the heart. He was just about directly below me, three stories down, an easy shot. I said a quick short prayer, and completed the instructions. He died, but did not bleed. It was merely a sort of flesh, but which hadn't ever quite been alive, not while he was in it. His spirit could no longer enter heaven, and without flesh he could not return to earth, so it fell the long dark fall. Not so far as Satan, but in with most of the Watchers.
--------
Even knowing (as far as the dream allows) that I am doing the right thing, I don't like such dreams. While angels are not beloved in the same way as men, they are quite dear to God. To see an angel fail is almost as harsh as seeing a man surrender his soul. Seeing a man die is far less, almost irrelevant in some circumstances, a mercy in others. But to see a man without faith die, to see the horror, to know he is ended badly and alone... these things trouble even my sometimes cold dark heart. More so when it is by my hand, even if through their choices. Now, doing God's will, with surety, is a huge easement. Some work is harder than other work, is all. Even for one of my nature.
Busted, broken, burned.
.
.
Yeah? Yeah. But I have had worse. I simply cannot get going. Medicines are being taken, food is eaten, sleep is a bit quirky but as well controlled as I am able and reasonable, just not as regular as would be preferred. I am suspicious of the kefir. Though I may have been exceeding the speed limit on that. It really is good. I have slowed it to a small glass every third day, and for use in cereal. Well, and creating whey water, for another type of soaking. When I get back, or more, on my feet, I hope to do a bit of glycemic indexing with the various new foods. I checked once soured kefir, but not twice. It is supposed to further break down lactose in the second run. As well, I would like to see how well the grains work with a soak. I won't compare them with a non-soak, just test as is. I am curious about the grains I soak then cook for the week, and eggs. I just want to test the foods I am eating, various volumes, and such. Something is off, and I think it is off because of over-consumption of kefir (at least first-soured kefir).
It may just be that I am having a bad hair month or two. It will happen. Even when it cools, as today which is just in the mid 70's F, or more when it never gets above 70, that, to me, is warm. I am, for whatever reason, hot today. The ac wasn't helping me stay asleep. Summer, blood sugar, general health issues, or specific ones? I simply don't know. But there is a problem. I am down. I am doing very... exceptionally... well given my current state. But I am not going to gain even an inch on my intentions until I am freed from whatever is wrong. I think I can actually handle the heat, if all else is well. It just isn't.
This trouble does tend to make me a bit more ginger and grumpy. So, if I seem to snap just take a step back and try later or go away if you can't handle it. Not intentional, necessarily. Just not always able to fully cope if I think I'm being snapped at... zipper head! :p I could only get a nap in. Simply, somehow, too hot... even with the ac and a fan to double that down. And yet I am tired. I want, my body wants as well, to be sleeping. Too hot, and yet I know it isn't too hot, it is me. Bleh. Later.
.
Yeah? Yeah. But I have had worse. I simply cannot get going. Medicines are being taken, food is eaten, sleep is a bit quirky but as well controlled as I am able and reasonable, just not as regular as would be preferred. I am suspicious of the kefir. Though I may have been exceeding the speed limit on that. It really is good. I have slowed it to a small glass every third day, and for use in cereal. Well, and creating whey water, for another type of soaking. When I get back, or more, on my feet, I hope to do a bit of glycemic indexing with the various new foods. I checked once soured kefir, but not twice. It is supposed to further break down lactose in the second run. As well, I would like to see how well the grains work with a soak. I won't compare them with a non-soak, just test as is. I am curious about the grains I soak then cook for the week, and eggs. I just want to test the foods I am eating, various volumes, and such. Something is off, and I think it is off because of over-consumption of kefir (at least first-soured kefir).
It may just be that I am having a bad hair month or two. It will happen. Even when it cools, as today which is just in the mid 70's F, or more when it never gets above 70, that, to me, is warm. I am, for whatever reason, hot today. The ac wasn't helping me stay asleep. Summer, blood sugar, general health issues, or specific ones? I simply don't know. But there is a problem. I am down. I am doing very... exceptionally... well given my current state. But I am not going to gain even an inch on my intentions until I am freed from whatever is wrong. I think I can actually handle the heat, if all else is well. It just isn't.
This trouble does tend to make me a bit more ginger and grumpy. So, if I seem to snap just take a step back and try later or go away if you can't handle it. Not intentional, necessarily. Just not always able to fully cope if I think I'm being snapped at... zipper head! :p I could only get a nap in. Simply, somehow, too hot... even with the ac and a fan to double that down. And yet I am tired. I want, my body wants as well, to be sleeping. Too hot, and yet I know it isn't too hot, it is me. Bleh. Later.
Now that was good.
.
.
I had the last of the ribeyes in the package. As well, I ate six ears of corn. Yes, a larger meal. A rare treat.
No work. I just can't get to anything. Well, other than cooking and I did finish storing the beans and grain. That is quite good, prepared this new way. But the beans simply don't ever seem to get as done. Next time, instead of vinegar, I would like to try soaking those with some whey water. The weather is being odd. The low yesterday was down to... 48 F, by my outside thermometer. Today, so far, it has only dropped to 60 F. It might drop just a bit more, or not. The jumps in weather throw me off a bit. Not only was it 48 yesterday, but out in it I could see my breath, somehow. Now, I was easily comfortable standing out there in painter jean type shorts, no socks, and a t-shirt. While the weather is battering me, a bit. I would rather have, for simply comfort, temps jumping around then a solid high temp summer. This year is quite nice.
I'm about to take a nap, or go to bed for the day. There is some business I would like to figure out, but... I just can't get to it. Youtube seems to be acting up tonight. Sometimes it does that, rarely, as if they are doing maintenance but don't want to advertise... or my service is doing the same, or limiting my access. Or the government flop has started causing brownouts, as with the rest of government. Hard to say, these days, just which group is causing the problem, if it is a problem, or such. With the government we have, we are finally "catching up" with the incompetence the rest of the world knows and loves. Got to get rid of this government. Don't ever believe we need to cut back and shut down in order to conserve. Test after test shows that allowing the free markets to solve the problems does solve the issues. Trying to let the government fix anything increases the problems until catastrophic failure has to happen. The government, any government, can't do it. Not well.
Yeah, a bit of sleep sounds really good. Later or good night.
.
I had the last of the ribeyes in the package. As well, I ate six ears of corn. Yes, a larger meal. A rare treat.
No work. I just can't get to anything. Well, other than cooking and I did finish storing the beans and grain. That is quite good, prepared this new way. But the beans simply don't ever seem to get as done. Next time, instead of vinegar, I would like to try soaking those with some whey water. The weather is being odd. The low yesterday was down to... 48 F, by my outside thermometer. Today, so far, it has only dropped to 60 F. It might drop just a bit more, or not. The jumps in weather throw me off a bit. Not only was it 48 yesterday, but out in it I could see my breath, somehow. Now, I was easily comfortable standing out there in painter jean type shorts, no socks, and a t-shirt. While the weather is battering me, a bit. I would rather have, for simply comfort, temps jumping around then a solid high temp summer. This year is quite nice.
I'm about to take a nap, or go to bed for the day. There is some business I would like to figure out, but... I just can't get to it. Youtube seems to be acting up tonight. Sometimes it does that, rarely, as if they are doing maintenance but don't want to advertise... or my service is doing the same, or limiting my access. Or the government flop has started causing brownouts, as with the rest of government. Hard to say, these days, just which group is causing the problem, if it is a problem, or such. With the government we have, we are finally "catching up" with the incompetence the rest of the world knows and loves. Got to get rid of this government. Don't ever believe we need to cut back and shut down in order to conserve. Test after test shows that allowing the free markets to solve the problems does solve the issues. Trying to let the government fix anything increases the problems until catastrophic failure has to happen. The government, any government, can't do it. Not well.
Yeah, a bit of sleep sounds really good. Later or good night.
Thursday, August 6, 2015
Some thoughts.
.
.
First, about the nurse practitioner. I have a feeling, to some minor degree, she has viewed my blog. Oh, a spoof. Perhaps entertaining. A rush! A few questions in, I saw her begin to squirm. Perhaps the bravado, if not brought in full force to the interview even so, wasn't as much bravado. Or, as a thought of last resort, what was sitting beside her was insane... confused. The thing is, most people have a pretty good sense of that. Some will cling to that idea if all else fails and they aren't willing to take one more step, and go further from the Shire then they had ever been.
More. My blog terrifies people. Have no doubt. It seems odd to me. Much as, say, a butcher would think nothing of a carcass, skinned and halved, setting on his counter. For some, it is horrifying. As I have mentioned, many times in the past, if this is simply kept as entertainment, that is fine. But if there was some notion that there was some truth under there, or worse a lot of truth, or worst... more truth than what most people have... then the horror can engulf a mind. Yes, most creatures are delicate in many ways, and have avoided certain truths. I have exposed some of them, or so I say. If more by simply singing the songs I "know". Through other voices, actors, directors, and such, I have discusses how I understand things. And, if true, and to those who shield their eyes, crushingly dark.
Just from my medical situation, she began to wonder. Just that, and yet what she was seeing before her. Yes, indeed, I shouldn't look like a mildly wild middle aged man. I should be hooked up to machines, tended. If... of course... what I was telling her about my medical diagnosis was correct, true. Of that I have no doubt. I guess... after that... I understand why the V.A. was so freaked. I sometimes wonder if they were just jacking me. Maybe not. Just my various diagnosis, just those, to a mind that knows about medicine... it is terrifying. How do I even begin to tell them that I have been dead thrice and brought back right through it? That I lasted five minutes in class IV to V whitewater, and helped paddle out? I probably shouldn't have told her about the draino. Yeah.
I may not be able to find a doc. Certainly not if I tell them more than they can handle. You would have thought medical training would have... bolstered them. Delicate creatures. Absolutely certain I will die at any moment. And, yet, I guarantee, I will outlive most of them... assuming... accidents or cosmic incidents don't interfere. Or one of the few who could know doesn't decide to break the seal that is my life, in the ways that such is possible. *wink*
------
On another subject, I have been frustrated with shaving. I just haven't, so far, been able to sharpen my straight razors well enough to shave. I am still hoping to do so. I have only gotten to it a few times, sharpening... honing really. I have had the kitchen clean, but then I need a break, or another project comes up, or I begin cooking up a storm and... the opportunity goes away. A little help would make some thing happen more often, but I don't have any help, so... I hit it when I get to it and everything else is lined up.
Not wanting to quit, and hoping to do a bit more in that direction, I decided to order a double edge razor, blades, and some other such. I have some things already, like a couple of face soap brushes, aftershaves, and such. That came in yesterday, while I was sleeping, so some time in the early to late afternoon?
I opened the box, looked everything over, arranged and prepped the kit, but the bathroom sink was... nasty. Rather than just quit there, however, I decided to prep the area. I cleaned it well, cleaned it twice, then began figuring out where this and that would go. All set up, I thought to shave sometime soon. A common arrangement hereabouts. I checked on the beans. Gah! Those are taking forever. As I was about to head back to the machine, though, I decided to shave.
A little nervous, because of my attempts with a straight razor, I just... wanted to, had to, know. There is nothing like lathering. The razor was ready. It was quick, given that it had all been, pretty much, arranged already. The blade closed with my face. A spot of fear. Then... *scrape* Hmm, not bad. *scrape, scrape, scrape, scrape, splash* Hmm, not bad at all. Then I just go busy. I must have angles down, I shaved this way, that way, then another way but only under my chin and neck area, below the jawline.
Wonderful. I haven't had this good, or comfortable, of a shave in... maybe ever? Seriously. I hate shaving, or have to this point, because I have found nothing that wasn't brutal. Those three, four, five, or two, even one, blade disposables... Neither have they been comfortable to use nor have they offered a close shave. No matter how many times I go over it. I have medium whiskers, of medium density, at the worst. I don't even know what the problem is. But, now, I have a good way to shave. Just every other, or every third day, but... Good. Amazing.
With this, however, I am hoping to learn to shave better, experiment with angles, and this and that, but all toward learning the straight razor. Why? No blade changing... in a lifetime if you buy quality and take care of it. Well, and... yeah... a bit of bravado. I have no shame of bravado. If that is very rarely what it is about. But along with bravado is the notion that I have the skills to keep a device that sharp, that I have the hand strength and dexterity to shave that way, and that I have all other wherewithal to manage shaving with a straight razor. It is a mastery, or will be, I hope. Still, for now, I have a wonderful way to shave. And, perhaps it will be an occasional way to shave, besides the straight razor, say for travel or such where a straight razor may not work best. I need to be quite self-sufficient... much more so in any case... when I head North. A straight razor just needs sharpening and soap, if treated correctly. Cuts down on pack weight.
Later.
.
First, about the nurse practitioner. I have a feeling, to some minor degree, she has viewed my blog. Oh, a spoof. Perhaps entertaining. A rush! A few questions in, I saw her begin to squirm. Perhaps the bravado, if not brought in full force to the interview even so, wasn't as much bravado. Or, as a thought of last resort, what was sitting beside her was insane... confused. The thing is, most people have a pretty good sense of that. Some will cling to that idea if all else fails and they aren't willing to take one more step, and go further from the Shire then they had ever been.
More. My blog terrifies people. Have no doubt. It seems odd to me. Much as, say, a butcher would think nothing of a carcass, skinned and halved, setting on his counter. For some, it is horrifying. As I have mentioned, many times in the past, if this is simply kept as entertainment, that is fine. But if there was some notion that there was some truth under there, or worse a lot of truth, or worst... more truth than what most people have... then the horror can engulf a mind. Yes, most creatures are delicate in many ways, and have avoided certain truths. I have exposed some of them, or so I say. If more by simply singing the songs I "know". Through other voices, actors, directors, and such, I have discusses how I understand things. And, if true, and to those who shield their eyes, crushingly dark.
Just from my medical situation, she began to wonder. Just that, and yet what she was seeing before her. Yes, indeed, I shouldn't look like a mildly wild middle aged man. I should be hooked up to machines, tended. If... of course... what I was telling her about my medical diagnosis was correct, true. Of that I have no doubt. I guess... after that... I understand why the V.A. was so freaked. I sometimes wonder if they were just jacking me. Maybe not. Just my various diagnosis, just those, to a mind that knows about medicine... it is terrifying. How do I even begin to tell them that I have been dead thrice and brought back right through it? That I lasted five minutes in class IV to V whitewater, and helped paddle out? I probably shouldn't have told her about the draino. Yeah.
I may not be able to find a doc. Certainly not if I tell them more than they can handle. You would have thought medical training would have... bolstered them. Delicate creatures. Absolutely certain I will die at any moment. And, yet, I guarantee, I will outlive most of them... assuming... accidents or cosmic incidents don't interfere. Or one of the few who could know doesn't decide to break the seal that is my life, in the ways that such is possible. *wink*
------
On another subject, I have been frustrated with shaving. I just haven't, so far, been able to sharpen my straight razors well enough to shave. I am still hoping to do so. I have only gotten to it a few times, sharpening... honing really. I have had the kitchen clean, but then I need a break, or another project comes up, or I begin cooking up a storm and... the opportunity goes away. A little help would make some thing happen more often, but I don't have any help, so... I hit it when I get to it and everything else is lined up.
Not wanting to quit, and hoping to do a bit more in that direction, I decided to order a double edge razor, blades, and some other such. I have some things already, like a couple of face soap brushes, aftershaves, and such. That came in yesterday, while I was sleeping, so some time in the early to late afternoon?
I opened the box, looked everything over, arranged and prepped the kit, but the bathroom sink was... nasty. Rather than just quit there, however, I decided to prep the area. I cleaned it well, cleaned it twice, then began figuring out where this and that would go. All set up, I thought to shave sometime soon. A common arrangement hereabouts. I checked on the beans. Gah! Those are taking forever. As I was about to head back to the machine, though, I decided to shave.
A little nervous, because of my attempts with a straight razor, I just... wanted to, had to, know. There is nothing like lathering. The razor was ready. It was quick, given that it had all been, pretty much, arranged already. The blade closed with my face. A spot of fear. Then... *scrape* Hmm, not bad. *scrape, scrape, scrape, scrape, splash* Hmm, not bad at all. Then I just go busy. I must have angles down, I shaved this way, that way, then another way but only under my chin and neck area, below the jawline.
Wonderful. I haven't had this good, or comfortable, of a shave in... maybe ever? Seriously. I hate shaving, or have to this point, because I have found nothing that wasn't brutal. Those three, four, five, or two, even one, blade disposables... Neither have they been comfortable to use nor have they offered a close shave. No matter how many times I go over it. I have medium whiskers, of medium density, at the worst. I don't even know what the problem is. But, now, I have a good way to shave. Just every other, or every third day, but... Good. Amazing.
With this, however, I am hoping to learn to shave better, experiment with angles, and this and that, but all toward learning the straight razor. Why? No blade changing... in a lifetime if you buy quality and take care of it. Well, and... yeah... a bit of bravado. I have no shame of bravado. If that is very rarely what it is about. But along with bravado is the notion that I have the skills to keep a device that sharp, that I have the hand strength and dexterity to shave that way, and that I have all other wherewithal to manage shaving with a straight razor. It is a mastery, or will be, I hope. Still, for now, I have a wonderful way to shave. And, perhaps it will be an occasional way to shave, besides the straight razor, say for travel or such where a straight razor may not work best. I need to be quite self-sufficient... much more so in any case... when I head North. A straight razor just needs sharpening and soap, if treated correctly. Cuts down on pack weight.
Later.
Grumpy and tired.
.
.
I was. Returning from the failed appointment. Whether I mentioned it or not, I had stayed awake about 18 to 36 hours. I couldn't sleep when it might have been good to do so, and then didn't dare as the time approached. At it seemed hot. Hot and muggy? Perhaps I had simply pushed too hard and it just got to me.
After returning home I simply couldn't get to sleep. As usual I had to cool down. I found some steaks at a great price, so I had one of those. I changed the soak for the bean and grains as well. I wanted too cook those as well, but not knowing how long that would take, I just hoped they didn't go bad. Eventually, I cannot say when but after cooking and eating the steak (of of them), I headed on to bed.
Nothingness. Pure, true, quiet, temperate, nothingness. I slept the sleep of nowhere and no time. I have no idea how long I slept. I woke at 23:03 or 04, by my satellite linked clock. I woke well. Comfortable, rested, refreshed even.
I set some dishes and pots to another soak, in order to hopefully wash those before long, drain and rinse the various raw foods, and then begin cooking. A new pot of coffee was set up. I checked on the beans and grains. Wonderful, they didn't seem rancid. Changing the water seems to allow for a much longer soak. Though, perhaps the vinegar and whey water helps keep bad things at bay? In any case, they seemed good and ready. A bit of computing as I woke, a show, and in there, I did get the pots cleaned, the foods drained strained rinsed then cooking.
The beans will take a long time, even having soaked. The grains only took about a third of the time to cook. The grains were so good they could honestly be eaten just as was. Still, I added butter and salted, trying a bowl. I am... not so much a vegetal eater. And I am truly picky. But that was a bowl of grain I would gladly have paid decent money to eat. Absolutely delicious. Short brown rice and quinoa, done to perfection, and... smooth, clean, filling. Even though I just had about three quarter of a cup, and am full, my mouth waters thinking about it. And I just finished. I am simply satisfied. I will cook another steak yet tonight, and maybe have a side of the grains. The beans too, if they hurry up. They are taking a very long time to cook. All good. I soaked the beans in raw apple cider vinegar... not enough kefir whey.
I have a few notions more, but that will come later. Later.
.
I was. Returning from the failed appointment. Whether I mentioned it or not, I had stayed awake about 18 to 36 hours. I couldn't sleep when it might have been good to do so, and then didn't dare as the time approached. At it seemed hot. Hot and muggy? Perhaps I had simply pushed too hard and it just got to me.
After returning home I simply couldn't get to sleep. As usual I had to cool down. I found some steaks at a great price, so I had one of those. I changed the soak for the bean and grains as well. I wanted too cook those as well, but not knowing how long that would take, I just hoped they didn't go bad. Eventually, I cannot say when but after cooking and eating the steak (of of them), I headed on to bed.
Nothingness. Pure, true, quiet, temperate, nothingness. I slept the sleep of nowhere and no time. I have no idea how long I slept. I woke at 23:03 or 04, by my satellite linked clock. I woke well. Comfortable, rested, refreshed even.
I set some dishes and pots to another soak, in order to hopefully wash those before long, drain and rinse the various raw foods, and then begin cooking. A new pot of coffee was set up. I checked on the beans and grains. Wonderful, they didn't seem rancid. Changing the water seems to allow for a much longer soak. Though, perhaps the vinegar and whey water helps keep bad things at bay? In any case, they seemed good and ready. A bit of computing as I woke, a show, and in there, I did get the pots cleaned, the foods drained strained rinsed then cooking.
The beans will take a long time, even having soaked. The grains only took about a third of the time to cook. The grains were so good they could honestly be eaten just as was. Still, I added butter and salted, trying a bowl. I am... not so much a vegetal eater. And I am truly picky. But that was a bowl of grain I would gladly have paid decent money to eat. Absolutely delicious. Short brown rice and quinoa, done to perfection, and... smooth, clean, filling. Even though I just had about three quarter of a cup, and am full, my mouth waters thinking about it. And I just finished. I am simply satisfied. I will cook another steak yet tonight, and maybe have a side of the grains. The beans too, if they hurry up. They are taking a very long time to cook. All good. I soaked the beans in raw apple cider vinegar... not enough kefir whey.
I have a few notions more, but that will come later. Later.
Wednesday, August 5, 2015
Troubles.
.
.
It looks like finding a doctor who will simply do a simple thing is going to be difficult. In a small enough area, everybody is your neighbor. I suspect the V.A. has a lot of pull, too. I was, essentially, told that it wasn't going to happen, and charged double what was proposed. They didn't even bother drawing blood. Oh, but she knows a specialist. Don't need one.
I forgot to take in the form. Thankfully, actually. Couldn't find it lately. I thought I'd go on into Log tomorrow, but decided to do it today. I really do need milk anyway. I initially thought I would take the form back to the office. On the way, I realized, with her obvious weak knees about treating, and that she didn't do a blood draw, there was no reason to take the form in. She had already decided, she just didn't have the guts to say it to my face. So...
What this means to me is crunch time. I finally looked up the cost of an industrial garbage bin... $5.71 per day, $129 per haul plus... something per ton... I think a little less than $30. A lot has to go. Not sure it's honestly in the high tons. Five? Although I doubt if it would be more than a single load. Probably. I am really going to have to pair. I suppose I will take a hard jab at collecting what I will be tossing, and beginning to part what I want to take and what I will have to take.
Whatever it takes to keep the license just long enough to escape. There are other possible options, but that gets really tight. But, for sure, and much faster. I sometimes think things might work out, then I run into more bullshit. It's pretty much how the world runs these days. I want no part of it.
.
It looks like finding a doctor who will simply do a simple thing is going to be difficult. In a small enough area, everybody is your neighbor. I suspect the V.A. has a lot of pull, too. I was, essentially, told that it wasn't going to happen, and charged double what was proposed. They didn't even bother drawing blood. Oh, but she knows a specialist. Don't need one.
I forgot to take in the form. Thankfully, actually. Couldn't find it lately. I thought I'd go on into Log tomorrow, but decided to do it today. I really do need milk anyway. I initially thought I would take the form back to the office. On the way, I realized, with her obvious weak knees about treating, and that she didn't do a blood draw, there was no reason to take the form in. She had already decided, she just didn't have the guts to say it to my face. So...
What this means to me is crunch time. I finally looked up the cost of an industrial garbage bin... $5.71 per day, $129 per haul plus... something per ton... I think a little less than $30. A lot has to go. Not sure it's honestly in the high tons. Five? Although I doubt if it would be more than a single load. Probably. I am really going to have to pair. I suppose I will take a hard jab at collecting what I will be tossing, and beginning to part what I want to take and what I will have to take.
Whatever it takes to keep the license just long enough to escape. There are other possible options, but that gets really tight. But, for sure, and much faster. I sometimes think things might work out, then I run into more bullshit. It's pretty much how the world runs these days. I want no part of it.
Tuesday, August 4, 2015
Strange how music can find me.
.
.
Sometimes I go looking, sometimes not. Sometimes I have to dig, shuffle through the deck, scrape and scrounge. Sometimes nothing for a while. Sometimes, though, and usually actually, it is the, or nearly the, first card in the deck. Sometimes in my favorite color, too. As follows.
.
Sometimes I go looking, sometimes not. Sometimes I have to dig, shuffle through the deck, scrape and scrounge. Sometimes nothing for a while. Sometimes, though, and usually actually, it is the, or nearly the, first card in the deck. Sometimes in my favorite color, too. As follows.
Gah!
.
.
I just can't seem to bring myself around. Medicine has been going well. I have been eating, mostly. A little weakly on the feed, but I can't really push it. I actually have to work at eating, often, lately. Summer, I suppose, to a degree. I can't seem to push through much of anything. It is a brutish time. Heat? Yes, part of time. The time of the year? Yes, that could be. But some other things. I just don't know, exactly, what.
I am hoping to do some cleaning tonight. I hit the kitchen a bit yesterday, or prepped it to be hit. I won't cook grains, I didn't soak them. I will need another pot to soak beans. I suppose, if I do well, I could get those soaking tonight. I can boil eggs for the week though. Even if I don't eat them all, having food, for need or want, that I know is good, really eases life. If I find myself hungry, otherwise, I might eat something that isn't so good. And, having food on hand, ready, means I can push a bit more down... when I think of it, when I can. And, yes, it helps.
It has been, in the hotter times, 80's F and up. Which, around here, isn't the worst it can be by 20 F. And yet, if you look around the world, this temp is often a local phenomena. One they call a heatwave. Perhaps I am just expecting too much? Or maybe I am, even so, doing something wrong. I'll... figure this out. Yeah, probably expecting too much. And yet, sometimes, I can handle it quite well. I seem to break down, quickly, though. Perhaps that is perfectly normal. Central air, probably next year. That might truly help. And compared to all the fans and the window ac (especially considering another), I'm not sure it would be more electricity intense.
Just woke. Yesterday I was up all day. Not so much today. It was cool, through the night, and 83 is the highest I have seen it (though I just woke within the hour(?)). I could not wake. I actually set the alarm for 10:00 this morning. I reset it once, though I am not sure for when. I shut it off when it rang that last time. Waking after 17:00 means... since 10:00 was ten hours of sleep... Yeah, but I couldn't wake today. Oh, and I did try. I literally could not get neurons to fire at enough of a rate to think enough to literally remain conscious. Just enough to grumble and stumble my way to the bathroom a time or three. Crazy.
Still, as I said, it doesn't matter when. It only matters that I work when I can, and as I can. Tonight, even if I just do a little, it's a start. Added to yesterday, and probably tomorrow, I will... get there. Maybe. Later.
.
I just can't seem to bring myself around. Medicine has been going well. I have been eating, mostly. A little weakly on the feed, but I can't really push it. I actually have to work at eating, often, lately. Summer, I suppose, to a degree. I can't seem to push through much of anything. It is a brutish time. Heat? Yes, part of time. The time of the year? Yes, that could be. But some other things. I just don't know, exactly, what.
I am hoping to do some cleaning tonight. I hit the kitchen a bit yesterday, or prepped it to be hit. I won't cook grains, I didn't soak them. I will need another pot to soak beans. I suppose, if I do well, I could get those soaking tonight. I can boil eggs for the week though. Even if I don't eat them all, having food, for need or want, that I know is good, really eases life. If I find myself hungry, otherwise, I might eat something that isn't so good. And, having food on hand, ready, means I can push a bit more down... when I think of it, when I can. And, yes, it helps.
It has been, in the hotter times, 80's F and up. Which, around here, isn't the worst it can be by 20 F. And yet, if you look around the world, this temp is often a local phenomena. One they call a heatwave. Perhaps I am just expecting too much? Or maybe I am, even so, doing something wrong. I'll... figure this out. Yeah, probably expecting too much. And yet, sometimes, I can handle it quite well. I seem to break down, quickly, though. Perhaps that is perfectly normal. Central air, probably next year. That might truly help. And compared to all the fans and the window ac (especially considering another), I'm not sure it would be more electricity intense.
Just woke. Yesterday I was up all day. Not so much today. It was cool, through the night, and 83 is the highest I have seen it (though I just woke within the hour(?)). I could not wake. I actually set the alarm for 10:00 this morning. I reset it once, though I am not sure for when. I shut it off when it rang that last time. Waking after 17:00 means... since 10:00 was ten hours of sleep... Yeah, but I couldn't wake today. Oh, and I did try. I literally could not get neurons to fire at enough of a rate to think enough to literally remain conscious. Just enough to grumble and stumble my way to the bathroom a time or three. Crazy.
Still, as I said, it doesn't matter when. It only matters that I work when I can, and as I can. Tonight, even if I just do a little, it's a start. Added to yesterday, and probably tomorrow, I will... get there. Maybe. Later.
That was a short sleep.
.
.
Can't say why. I didn't actually go down until midnight. I struggled with sleep. Like trying to grab water, it simply wasn't something I could contain. After hours of seemingly not sleeping, but from time checks getting some sleep, I simply surrendered and actually, officially, woke. There certainly isn't much to do at just before 4:00 in the morning.
I went to the kitchen to check on some things. Coffee, I think, was the idea. I hadn't replaced bags in the trash cans, so I did that before something ugly got tossed. Then I thought about the oatmeal I had soaked/fermented. But the pans needed more cleaning, and yet I had a sink pan full of dishes, and another with cleaned fruit. Bleh. Well, to it I got, anyway. I cleared enough space to clean the pan I would be using. I have hit it several times. I tried to boil clean it (once a spectacular failure). I had hit it hard at least two other times. I didn't get make it perfect, but good enough. I did a bowl while I was at it, and enough new to arrive yesterday plastic lids. The eight I purchased, what with the rotation of kefir, kefir grains, and whey water... were not enough.
After that was done, I put the cereal on. This time I hovered over it like a mother hen. No more burning! Twice in a row (three times if you count one of the attempt to boil wash that failed) was quite enough! And, yeah, that worked. I kept it in, pretty much, constant motion. Five minutes is really all it takes, and just a medium temp. But you really have to turn it. As I was letting that cool, I reset the sink pan of dishes, put the oatmeal into the bowl, and set the now again dirty little pot to a soak. I let that cool further, and set up another batch of kefir. Out of milk... I'll be into town yet this week. Not completely out, there just isn't enough for another batch of kefir. I also set the quinoa and rice up in an airtight container. The one that used to house the beans and rice mix. A bit more rice than quinoa. I could probably step that back even a bit more. Even with soaking I will wash the quinoa, and rice with it now I suppose, really well. I just don't want to risk a weak of soapy tasting mash.
Since I sweetened the last cereal, I decided to go with butter and cream. The cream mostly to cool. Add salt and pepper. While not gourmet, in one sense, it certainly is better than your average fair. I keep using a cup of grain and kefir. I need to cut that back. A half a cup, and remember I am a big guy and a heave eater, is quite enough for me. I might even be able to take that down to a third of a cup. Not only does it fill, it doesn't stuff, and it lasts. I keep wavering whether to buy more wheat berries and sprout those, just as a cereal. It seems I am getting used to eating these types of things and they aren't... troubling of gut or mind. And it was tasty. It stood out compared to the rest of my diet, at the time, is part of the problem. Now it would fit right in. Plus... Fiber!
I don't know if I will need to sleep soon, or will be up all day again. Maybe I will be able to get by with a nap sometime before too long. I'd love to tear into the kitchen. And with things started in that direction, it might be possible. I'll see. Later.
.
Can't say why. I didn't actually go down until midnight. I struggled with sleep. Like trying to grab water, it simply wasn't something I could contain. After hours of seemingly not sleeping, but from time checks getting some sleep, I simply surrendered and actually, officially, woke. There certainly isn't much to do at just before 4:00 in the morning.
I went to the kitchen to check on some things. Coffee, I think, was the idea. I hadn't replaced bags in the trash cans, so I did that before something ugly got tossed. Then I thought about the oatmeal I had soaked/fermented. But the pans needed more cleaning, and yet I had a sink pan full of dishes, and another with cleaned fruit. Bleh. Well, to it I got, anyway. I cleared enough space to clean the pan I would be using. I have hit it several times. I tried to boil clean it (once a spectacular failure). I had hit it hard at least two other times. I didn't get make it perfect, but good enough. I did a bowl while I was at it, and enough new to arrive yesterday plastic lids. The eight I purchased, what with the rotation of kefir, kefir grains, and whey water... were not enough.
After that was done, I put the cereal on. This time I hovered over it like a mother hen. No more burning! Twice in a row (three times if you count one of the attempt to boil wash that failed) was quite enough! And, yeah, that worked. I kept it in, pretty much, constant motion. Five minutes is really all it takes, and just a medium temp. But you really have to turn it. As I was letting that cool, I reset the sink pan of dishes, put the oatmeal into the bowl, and set the now again dirty little pot to a soak. I let that cool further, and set up another batch of kefir. Out of milk... I'll be into town yet this week. Not completely out, there just isn't enough for another batch of kefir. I also set the quinoa and rice up in an airtight container. The one that used to house the beans and rice mix. A bit more rice than quinoa. I could probably step that back even a bit more. Even with soaking I will wash the quinoa, and rice with it now I suppose, really well. I just don't want to risk a weak of soapy tasting mash.
Since I sweetened the last cereal, I decided to go with butter and cream. The cream mostly to cool. Add salt and pepper. While not gourmet, in one sense, it certainly is better than your average fair. I keep using a cup of grain and kefir. I need to cut that back. A half a cup, and remember I am a big guy and a heave eater, is quite enough for me. I might even be able to take that down to a third of a cup. Not only does it fill, it doesn't stuff, and it lasts. I keep wavering whether to buy more wheat berries and sprout those, just as a cereal. It seems I am getting used to eating these types of things and they aren't... troubling of gut or mind. And it was tasty. It stood out compared to the rest of my diet, at the time, is part of the problem. Now it would fit right in. Plus... Fiber!
I don't know if I will need to sleep soon, or will be up all day again. Maybe I will be able to get by with a nap sometime before too long. I'd love to tear into the kitchen. And with things started in that direction, it might be possible. I'll see. Later.
Monday, August 3, 2015
Urhm? Oh, well, let's see?
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.
I had a rough one, but did well. I needed some rest before my haircut at 14:00. It was around 9:00 when I laid over the machine for some sleep. I set the alarm for noon. When it went off, I... really had to think about thinking about what to do. I wanted to a) turn over and go back to bed, b) call and cancel, then turn over and go back to bed, c) reset the alarm for 13:00, hoping I could still make it, but getting a bit more sleep. In that order. I did not want to go. So... I reset the alarm, rolled over as if to nap a bit longer, knew I would not wake up when the alarm went off or would go through some sort of snooze hell, therefore I just got up, grabbed some clean clothes, and headed to the shower.
I may have slept through the shower. No sun. While that made it cool, the no sun thing... well... it's a double edged sword sort of thing. Still, I was able to do the deeds and get to town quite on time. My hairstress did a very good job. Oh, and she is going on vacation quite soon. I generally tip well, but tipped a bit better even yet. Then I asked if she will be having to take her own spending money. Sure enough, so I added a bit more. I wanted to do a ten spot, but really only had five, given that I needed the remaining bill for something, and didn't want to bank today. Not much, but a bit of a thanks and a little nod to "kids being kids". Now, she is no kid, but going to Hawaii when you are young... She may never get the opportunity again. Perfect cut. I also set up an appointment for a bit before I long travel. Should be interesting to see the look on the faces of kin. *grins* They have never seen me in my more... nature state. *winks* Nah, not talking about naked, of course. Besides, mothers have. They know wayyyyy too much information. I guess it is required.
Afterwards, a trip to the store. Just old fashioned oats, short brown rice, 9-grain mush, and a couple of bags of quinoa. The latter are small(er), so that just keeps the mix even for longer. I should have bought more milk. I'll be in before too long anyway. And while I will buy flour, I won't buy it until the kitchen is back in functioning order. If I can find spelt, it will probably be at the health food store. Sure, no flour I buy will have been ground in the last few days, but it will... hrm... be as good as it gets until I grind my own, regardless of where I live... mostly.
I have set up oatmeal for prep tomorrow. Soaking it, in equal parts, with kefir. And, before long, maybe tomorrow, I will change out the mix of beans, rice, and quinoa... dumping what is already mixed because it simply can't be cooked together (or easily enough). Now I will just mix the rice and quinoa in that, soak that as one mix and the beans as a stand alone. Not sure how well lentils will do, but won't take a great risk as I did (if sort of accidentally) with the black beans. Yes, there is a bit of a learning curve. Minor costs, if it works as I hope.
.
I had a rough one, but did well. I needed some rest before my haircut at 14:00. It was around 9:00 when I laid over the machine for some sleep. I set the alarm for noon. When it went off, I... really had to think about thinking about what to do. I wanted to a) turn over and go back to bed, b) call and cancel, then turn over and go back to bed, c) reset the alarm for 13:00, hoping I could still make it, but getting a bit more sleep. In that order. I did not want to go. So... I reset the alarm, rolled over as if to nap a bit longer, knew I would not wake up when the alarm went off or would go through some sort of snooze hell, therefore I just got up, grabbed some clean clothes, and headed to the shower.
I may have slept through the shower. No sun. While that made it cool, the no sun thing... well... it's a double edged sword sort of thing. Still, I was able to do the deeds and get to town quite on time. My hairstress did a very good job. Oh, and she is going on vacation quite soon. I generally tip well, but tipped a bit better even yet. Then I asked if she will be having to take her own spending money. Sure enough, so I added a bit more. I wanted to do a ten spot, but really only had five, given that I needed the remaining bill for something, and didn't want to bank today. Not much, but a bit of a thanks and a little nod to "kids being kids". Now, she is no kid, but going to Hawaii when you are young... She may never get the opportunity again. Perfect cut. I also set up an appointment for a bit before I long travel. Should be interesting to see the look on the faces of kin. *grins* They have never seen me in my more... nature state. *winks* Nah, not talking about naked, of course. Besides, mothers have. They know wayyyyy too much information. I guess it is required.
Afterwards, a trip to the store. Just old fashioned oats, short brown rice, 9-grain mush, and a couple of bags of quinoa. The latter are small(er), so that just keeps the mix even for longer. I should have bought more milk. I'll be in before too long anyway. And while I will buy flour, I won't buy it until the kitchen is back in functioning order. If I can find spelt, it will probably be at the health food store. Sure, no flour I buy will have been ground in the last few days, but it will... hrm... be as good as it gets until I grind my own, regardless of where I live... mostly.
I have set up oatmeal for prep tomorrow. Soaking it, in equal parts, with kefir. And, before long, maybe tomorrow, I will change out the mix of beans, rice, and quinoa... dumping what is already mixed because it simply can't be cooked together (or easily enough). Now I will just mix the rice and quinoa in that, soak that as one mix and the beans as a stand alone. Not sure how well lentils will do, but won't take a great risk as I did (if sort of accidentally) with the black beans. Yes, there is a bit of a learning curve. Minor costs, if it works as I hope.
A few problems, a slow night anyway.
.
.
I ended up burning the pan I was using to warm up the grain mix... for breakfast. I have been working with that pan, off and on, since. I am not sure I will be able to save the pan. I then filled it with hot sudsy and... yeah... burned it again, running it dry. I tried a third time and... nope, but almost. Just one of those horrible nights. I did begin working on the grains and beans. That, too, was a pretty awful failure. On the good side, there was no bitterness. On the bad side? I soaked everything together. That simply will not do. The rice and quinoa cooked much, much, faster. The black beans not so much. I will have to cook beans separately, or cook them together but without soaking.
To major fails just blew the game. I didn't quit. I did run out of steam a little more quickly. Plus, it smells of smoke hereabouts. I did keep working on the pan, but I don't think that will... we will see. It is in a fresh soak after my last attack on it.
I do have more grain that was soaked. I will try it again, only watch much more carefully. I am telling you... even though I burned the bottom fifth of the stuff, the stuff that was salvageable was delicious. I have an appointment or two this week. If I can make it to them, I will definitely get more various grains. On the list is 9-grain cracked cereal, whole grain rice, old fashioned oatmeal, and actually I need various flours... whole and unbleached white, perhaps spelt if I can find it. I might work on a starter, and then experiment with loaves of bread and some other things, when I can get the kitchen put into some kind of order. I thought about whole wheat berries, for sprouting. And while it makes a decent cereal, it is a bit heavy. I will hold off on that until I have a wheat grinder. If sprouting, then grinding softens wheat... and sourdough softens it (makes it more easily digested and nutrient available)... what about mixing those two processes? I haven't seen where anyone has done it, and I have looked, lightly. Just curious, to be honest. Though it makes my mind think about food, and... that's never a bad thing.
It is cloudy today. Amazing, really. Yesterday, the lowest I saw it in the morning was 70 (now... that I saw). Being that it was almost 74 F at 3:00, my guess is this IS the low. It was a bit warm yesterday. I'm hoping it stays cool. But when the sun bakes the world, it takes several days of cloud and rain to lower temps... usually. I do enjoy having that satellite clock, with an outside/inside thermo (that works). It's been interesting. Often, even having a thermo on my back open porch, I still won't go out to get close enough to look. I am curious. But... SUN! At least I don't actually turn to stone, blow up, burn (or... quite as quickly as vampires do in most movies). Still... I don't like it.
Breakfast of the remaining soaked grain, a shower... maybe some music... then a nap or sleep. Bleh. Later or... much later. If I'm not back in a day? Wait longer. Dang kids.
.
I ended up burning the pan I was using to warm up the grain mix... for breakfast. I have been working with that pan, off and on, since. I am not sure I will be able to save the pan. I then filled it with hot sudsy and... yeah... burned it again, running it dry. I tried a third time and... nope, but almost. Just one of those horrible nights. I did begin working on the grains and beans. That, too, was a pretty awful failure. On the good side, there was no bitterness. On the bad side? I soaked everything together. That simply will not do. The rice and quinoa cooked much, much, faster. The black beans not so much. I will have to cook beans separately, or cook them together but without soaking.
To major fails just blew the game. I didn't quit. I did run out of steam a little more quickly. Plus, it smells of smoke hereabouts. I did keep working on the pan, but I don't think that will... we will see. It is in a fresh soak after my last attack on it.
I do have more grain that was soaked. I will try it again, only watch much more carefully. I am telling you... even though I burned the bottom fifth of the stuff, the stuff that was salvageable was delicious. I have an appointment or two this week. If I can make it to them, I will definitely get more various grains. On the list is 9-grain cracked cereal, whole grain rice, old fashioned oatmeal, and actually I need various flours... whole and unbleached white, perhaps spelt if I can find it. I might work on a starter, and then experiment with loaves of bread and some other things, when I can get the kitchen put into some kind of order. I thought about whole wheat berries, for sprouting. And while it makes a decent cereal, it is a bit heavy. I will hold off on that until I have a wheat grinder. If sprouting, then grinding softens wheat... and sourdough softens it (makes it more easily digested and nutrient available)... what about mixing those two processes? I haven't seen where anyone has done it, and I have looked, lightly. Just curious, to be honest. Though it makes my mind think about food, and... that's never a bad thing.
It is cloudy today. Amazing, really. Yesterday, the lowest I saw it in the morning was 70 (now... that I saw). Being that it was almost 74 F at 3:00, my guess is this IS the low. It was a bit warm yesterday. I'm hoping it stays cool. But when the sun bakes the world, it takes several days of cloud and rain to lower temps... usually. I do enjoy having that satellite clock, with an outside/inside thermo (that works). It's been interesting. Often, even having a thermo on my back open porch, I still won't go out to get close enough to look. I am curious. But... SUN! At least I don't actually turn to stone, blow up, burn (or... quite as quickly as vampires do in most movies). Still... I don't like it.
Breakfast of the remaining soaked grain, a shower... maybe some music... then a nap or sleep. Bleh. Later or... much later. If I'm not back in a day? Wait longer. Dang kids.
Sudoku.
.
.
I'm just... The fastest I had done a puzzle was 9 seconds. After a bit of looking, especially given my age and... state of repair... though even without those, my ability is... interesting. Of course, as I suggested, there are those who can do faster, perhaps much faster. I am now among those. I just did a puzzle in 5 seconds. Squeezing those last four is going to be a pain. :p I really do question whether I could even possibly be human, or... fully human. Sometimes I think such things as a lark, sometimes I really just don't know. Suspicious, in both directions and many ways. Yeah... if you want to check, just hack the phone, as usual. Mind you, I don't let you, I just can't stop you. Although, this time, there might be more to the connection than you have known. Nah, not the coppers... like they care. Something of a psychic nature, if it will need to develop through time. Good luck with that. *wink*
Hmm? Oh, still waking. I'll see if I can get to some work before too awful long. Later.
.
I'm just... The fastest I had done a puzzle was 9 seconds. After a bit of looking, especially given my age and... state of repair... though even without those, my ability is... interesting. Of course, as I suggested, there are those who can do faster, perhaps much faster. I am now among those. I just did a puzzle in 5 seconds. Squeezing those last four is going to be a pain. :p I really do question whether I could even possibly be human, or... fully human. Sometimes I think such things as a lark, sometimes I really just don't know. Suspicious, in both directions and many ways. Yeah... if you want to check, just hack the phone, as usual. Mind you, I don't let you, I just can't stop you. Although, this time, there might be more to the connection than you have known. Nah, not the coppers... like they care. Something of a psychic nature, if it will need to develop through time. Good luck with that. *wink*
Hmm? Oh, still waking. I'll see if I can get to some work before too awful long. Later.
Sunday, August 2, 2015
Oh my, that was some very good porridge.
.
.
I don't know if any of you ever had grandmothers (or, in my case, grandmother types) make you porridge as a child? The old ways. Back when women knew how to cook, what to cook, and did it well. I remember some of those foods. But such a long time had passed since I tasted that sort of food, which often requires a settled home, local and fresh foods, and links from a woman's past to her mother and grandmother, things that also no longer exist. Yes, I thought those older women were witchy, true. But boy could they cook.
This porridge was that! Now I know! And, there is nothing devil-making about it. Simply soaking whole grains overnight in... probably a number of things. I happened to use kefir. But you could use milk (if raw, clabbered milk), yogurt, whey water, or even simple water with or without vinegar, lemon (maybe lime) juice, or straight. I can't wait to try whole oatmeal. And, when I buy rice I will pick up both the oatmeal and more of that cracked 9-grain mush. I was worried that there would be a bitterness, or acidity, to the porridge. Not at all. I did use sugar, I suppose I will use that up before replacing it. Though I also have honey, maple syrup, cane sugar (not the processed, but dehydrated from cane juice), and some other things to try with it.
Actually, I would like to begin exploring various sugar alternatives. If they aren't as hard on my blood serum, and I can tolerate them, I may just switch out. I just hate to waste. If I could handle gardening, I am almost sure I could compost the things I may be getting rid of, and anything that might be a bit too old. Though... expiration dates seems to be, partially, a fiction. Still, checking per food is a good idea. You can't always tell by sight or scent. Yes, I am... really trying to change my eating habits. It's not a diet, not at all. I wouldn't call it, purely, one thing or another either. Old school, if you must call it something... but so old school the term probably didn't exist at the time. Like Moses or Abraham old school. :p
Dinner arrived. Two calls, but I didn't hear them in spite of having my phone right in front of me, just inches away, and with it set to vibrate AND ring, with both settings on max! The food was delivered to my fridge, through the back door. I... sensed someone was here, but didn't see a vehicle. Though timing can be odd? I was in my shorts, how I am while waking often... the... well... the shorts you aren't supposed to go outside in. I had my outside wearable shorts right here. I don't were them while it's hot and I'm waking, but just in case. Anyway... My food was delivered about the time I sensed someone was here (but didn't know why, hadn't realized I had been called). So... I put on shorts and headed out to... see what was up. Hmm... Quite odd. The timing had to have been perfect for me not to see a vehicle or who delivered the food. A very strange incident. Perhaps I am temp or perm Nemo, person non grata, or in some sort of dog house. Oh, I fully understand. I try to calm nerves, and then... something comes to me and I write. Incident and accident, and without any meaning if yet with a precision and accuracy that probably can't be produced with intent, I... well... No worries, I will be gone in a year or two, max. Just be patient. Where I am going, women won't do. Like sourdoughs, they need heat and light and feeding and care. Maybe not fully up front, but in short order, as they begin to... puff. No country for a lady, wife, or even a woman. Besides, I believe they would... be a problem in predator country. I mean, beside me. *laughs*
Anyway... It is cooling. I might get some more work done tonight. Perhaps much more than yesterday, maybe not. I am definitely hoping to do a lot. Dishes, laundry, kitchen, cooking grain type mash, boiling eggs for the week, maybe even tinkering with the cover for the kayak. Time will tell. Later.
.
I don't know if any of you ever had grandmothers (or, in my case, grandmother types) make you porridge as a child? The old ways. Back when women knew how to cook, what to cook, and did it well. I remember some of those foods. But such a long time had passed since I tasted that sort of food, which often requires a settled home, local and fresh foods, and links from a woman's past to her mother and grandmother, things that also no longer exist. Yes, I thought those older women were witchy, true. But boy could they cook.
This porridge was that! Now I know! And, there is nothing devil-making about it. Simply soaking whole grains overnight in... probably a number of things. I happened to use kefir. But you could use milk (if raw, clabbered milk), yogurt, whey water, or even simple water with or without vinegar, lemon (maybe lime) juice, or straight. I can't wait to try whole oatmeal. And, when I buy rice I will pick up both the oatmeal and more of that cracked 9-grain mush. I was worried that there would be a bitterness, or acidity, to the porridge. Not at all. I did use sugar, I suppose I will use that up before replacing it. Though I also have honey, maple syrup, cane sugar (not the processed, but dehydrated from cane juice), and some other things to try with it.
Actually, I would like to begin exploring various sugar alternatives. If they aren't as hard on my blood serum, and I can tolerate them, I may just switch out. I just hate to waste. If I could handle gardening, I am almost sure I could compost the things I may be getting rid of, and anything that might be a bit too old. Though... expiration dates seems to be, partially, a fiction. Still, checking per food is a good idea. You can't always tell by sight or scent. Yes, I am... really trying to change my eating habits. It's not a diet, not at all. I wouldn't call it, purely, one thing or another either. Old school, if you must call it something... but so old school the term probably didn't exist at the time. Like Moses or Abraham old school. :p
Dinner arrived. Two calls, but I didn't hear them in spite of having my phone right in front of me, just inches away, and with it set to vibrate AND ring, with both settings on max! The food was delivered to my fridge, through the back door. I... sensed someone was here, but didn't see a vehicle. Though timing can be odd? I was in my shorts, how I am while waking often... the... well... the shorts you aren't supposed to go outside in. I had my outside wearable shorts right here. I don't were them while it's hot and I'm waking, but just in case. Anyway... My food was delivered about the time I sensed someone was here (but didn't know why, hadn't realized I had been called). So... I put on shorts and headed out to... see what was up. Hmm... Quite odd. The timing had to have been perfect for me not to see a vehicle or who delivered the food. A very strange incident. Perhaps I am temp or perm Nemo, person non grata, or in some sort of dog house. Oh, I fully understand. I try to calm nerves, and then... something comes to me and I write. Incident and accident, and without any meaning if yet with a precision and accuracy that probably can't be produced with intent, I... well... No worries, I will be gone in a year or two, max. Just be patient. Where I am going, women won't do. Like sourdoughs, they need heat and light and feeding and care. Maybe not fully up front, but in short order, as they begin to... puff. No country for a lady, wife, or even a woman. Besides, I believe they would... be a problem in predator country. I mean, beside me. *laughs*
Anyway... It is cooling. I might get some more work done tonight. Perhaps much more than yesterday, maybe not. I am definitely hoping to do a lot. Dishes, laundry, kitchen, cooking grain type mash, boiling eggs for the week, maybe even tinkering with the cover for the kayak. Time will tell. Later.
Hot, or hotter.
.
.
It looks as if it will hit 90 F today. I slept long, just woke. Or woke finally. I did change the mash soak twice, so can begin cooking it whenever, though probably after it cools, or at least the sun is no longer so full. Probably the same with the porridge. though there isn't all that much porridge, so it can be cooked without too much of a problem with environment heating. I woke several times through the day. It was simply too warm. For me. It is hotter now, but realizing I was past my need to sleep, the last time I woke I turned on fans outside the bedroom, including the ceiling fan which is in summer mode, and left my bedroom door open. That maneuver sort of thaws me and cools the rest of the cave for a more moderate living situation.
.
It looks as if it will hit 90 F today. I slept long, just woke. Or woke finally. I did change the mash soak twice, so can begin cooking it whenever, though probably after it cools, or at least the sun is no longer so full. Probably the same with the porridge. though there isn't all that much porridge, so it can be cooked without too much of a problem with environment heating. I woke several times through the day. It was simply too warm. For me. It is hotter now, but realizing I was past my need to sleep, the last time I woke I turned on fans outside the bedroom, including the ceiling fan which is in summer mode, and left my bedroom door open. That maneuver sort of thaws me and cools the rest of the cave for a more moderate living situation.
I wouldn't call it a grand slam.
.
.
However, I believe I got a good lot done. I set dishes up, then remember fruit. I purchased that the last time I was in town. I had not washed it. Tomatoes, by the way, are a fruit. Pears, apples, tomatoes, and strawberries. The strawberries did not make it. The rest are just fine. Actually, I think the tomatoes are just about perfect. So I rinsed those, then let them dry, having a pear and a tomato. There were two or three other things I got to, including a shower. Oh, and I remembered I had a nine grain cereal mix. I set that to soak in kefir overnight. I'll add a cup of water and cook it tomorrow.
I am hoping to clear and clean enough space to attempt whey water salsa. That is what the tomatoes are for. I also bought fresh onions. I have garlic that is fairly new as well, and lemon juice... though I don't know if I need anything other than whey water. I'll do a quick check before I begin that. I did consider avocado, but what was available was pretty much done. I'll check when I am in town again. And, while corn chips aren't the healthiest in what the government requires them to be fried in, until I can figure out how to make them myself, they will have to do. I wish I was to the point of making bread. Sourdough, plus salami, with salsa, topped with sprouts? With a pint, or quart, of kefir on the side? Not bad. I'm telling you. I'll get there, sooner or later.
I really did get to more than I thought. Not exactly what I hoped to do, but an near equivalent, I think. I am seriously hoping to hit the kitchen, and maybe do enough in there that hitting the living room might not be unreasonable. The trash has to go out. More food needs to be cooked or otherwise prepared, salsa could be made. I will put the Xt'er away. I just haven't gotten far enough to worry about working on the kayak yet. Maybe through the week. I have two appointments coming up. I almost feel special. I can use those days to do other things in town, along business lines.
I best get on to bed though, for now. It still seems a bit warm. Not temp wise, body wise for some reason. So I'll watch a show as I cool off. Good night, though, for all intents and purposes.
.
However, I believe I got a good lot done. I set dishes up, then remember fruit. I purchased that the last time I was in town. I had not washed it. Tomatoes, by the way, are a fruit. Pears, apples, tomatoes, and strawberries. The strawberries did not make it. The rest are just fine. Actually, I think the tomatoes are just about perfect. So I rinsed those, then let them dry, having a pear and a tomato. There were two or three other things I got to, including a shower. Oh, and I remembered I had a nine grain cereal mix. I set that to soak in kefir overnight. I'll add a cup of water and cook it tomorrow.
I am hoping to clear and clean enough space to attempt whey water salsa. That is what the tomatoes are for. I also bought fresh onions. I have garlic that is fairly new as well, and lemon juice... though I don't know if I need anything other than whey water. I'll do a quick check before I begin that. I did consider avocado, but what was available was pretty much done. I'll check when I am in town again. And, while corn chips aren't the healthiest in what the government requires them to be fried in, until I can figure out how to make them myself, they will have to do. I wish I was to the point of making bread. Sourdough, plus salami, with salsa, topped with sprouts? With a pint, or quart, of kefir on the side? Not bad. I'm telling you. I'll get there, sooner or later.
I really did get to more than I thought. Not exactly what I hoped to do, but an near equivalent, I think. I am seriously hoping to hit the kitchen, and maybe do enough in there that hitting the living room might not be unreasonable. The trash has to go out. More food needs to be cooked or otherwise prepared, salsa could be made. I will put the Xt'er away. I just haven't gotten far enough to worry about working on the kayak yet. Maybe through the week. I have two appointments coming up. I almost feel special. I can use those days to do other things in town, along business lines.
I best get on to bed though, for now. It still seems a bit warm. Not temp wise, body wise for some reason. So I'll watch a show as I cool off. Good night, though, for all intents and purposes.
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