Sunday, September 20, 2026

If it didn't hurt so much?

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It would be hilarious.  From gas prices to food prices to insurance costs, there is nothing that isn't rising so fast even the lower tiers of the wealthy aren't buckling.  Further, insurance is not even probably going to be honored and the government won't do a thing about it, as an example of injury on insult.

What about "they want you dead" did you not understand?  Trump?  is that even Trump in there?  Before him, Biden, Zero, Clinton, Bush's?  Worse, or... maybe?  If they really are who they were, how much control did they actually have?

Saturday, September 19, 2026

Wrong?

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Mother asked what time I would be going to town.  I told her I wasn't going to town.  If I remembered I actually had hoped to go to town.  Though, in part, I was telling her we would not be going to town?  That and I had forgotten.  I need... want... carbonated water.  While I have finally learned to tolerate, even enjoy, flat water out of the reverse osmosis system, I too quite enjoy carbonated water.  If, even that, finally, I usually prefer it plain.

I needed flavored varieties for the first few years.  I just don't trust how they flavor things, so kept trying to go plain.  I finally could do plain, all of the time, after a lot of effort and self-training my taste buds.  The only reason I don't is there isn't enough easily available.  if I am luck, they have eight twelve packs.  I prefer... more, on hand.  I'd like double that.  So I mix in flavors.  The other option would be to try three or four different stores.  But that is a major difficulty with my body in such poor shape.

Friday, September 18, 2026

A few bachelor thoughts.

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While I am, at least so long as I live in America or should I end up in Europe, a dedicated bachelor, I enjoy feminine interactions.  So, how to do that?  Primarily by choosing which women to speak with very carefully.

Is she too young?  Out of my potential in a real way (if even then I have to be careful), as I see things?  Showing no interest?  Perfect.  That is the type of woman with whom I will converse.  I used to have older women in the queue too.  But realized that was a major mistake.  Old women have zero understanding that they are not being approached for even short term affairs.   Single serving interactions, which end when I leave, is all that is being offered.  I lived and learned.

Thursday, September 17, 2026

A bit of a row.

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Mother wanted a trip to town.  To get her nails done.  Sure, I had to get the tires checked.  Do some other business.  So, okay.  I dropped her off at 9:30.  Should only take forty minutes.  I got over to the shop.

The tires were in terrible shape.  She won't be allowed to drive the vehicle anymore.  Serious problems.  New tires.  She tried to gas light me that it was the shop.  No.  Not a shop I have used three times in fifteen years, branded, three tires.  Plus, they just fixed them.  No questions.

Another death.

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A favored cousin, for my part.  Not sure she liked me.  But I am used to that.  Especially from females, certain ones.  I had hoped to see her before she died.  I was pretty sure that wouldn't happen.  No matter, now.  At least, with this one, while I will pray for her soul, and family, I am more secure with her destination, up front.  Still.  Prayers.

She became familiar with me at one of the worst points in my life.  Everything that could go wrong had gone wrong and I shouldn't have yet been living. All while being gaslit by a medical industry hiding vaccine injuries.

Finally awake again.

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Now, I have stirred, from time to time.  Waking to reset blankets, make my position more comfortable, adjust blankets on my lower body for warmth or upper body to cool, or just because it was time to be awake.  A sound, thought, reason I did or didn't know.  I wake often.  Usually.  Sometimes I can sleep for literal days without remembering having awaken once.  Other times, usually, I can wake a dozen times while only sleeping a few hours.

Tonight, today by your count, was more typical.  A long sleep, but awake many times.  On the good side, with BP meds finally in the mix, I do feel rested.  With kidneys at ~10%-13%?  I am a bit weary most of the time.  Just... better than when they weren't treating, or properly treating, bp, kidneys, or diabetes.  With those pretty much under control, within my (not their harmful) specs, rest and sleep, if greatly more needed, do their part for improving wakefulness while I can be awake.

Wednesday, September 16, 2026

She asked why.

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Some she from my past.  In my mind.  In a dream state.  I am... pretty sure which "she".   And, really?  She should know why. 

She had reason to become famous friends, in their own ways, for their own parts, with a Mennonite couple, who had been Amish?  Or, some such.  Oh, nothing... notorious.  Some stories are... good stories, if with hard surrounds. Kindness does occur if perfection is rare though too?  But this was a good samaritan thing, in the truer sense.

I... thought so.

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The temp did drop the three degrees I suspected it would.  Then held there, dropping no more.  Satisfied, though, that my observations helped produce a better analysis than their forecast.  Not that it always will, just that it seems to usually do so.  A 49 degree morning is just a bit finer than a 52 degree morning, or this one.  To me. 

Mother made corn on the cob and had stuff for a BLT sandwich.  I did the corn, but ate the last of the rice instead of the BLT.  Rice sounded softer on my oddly virtually wounded body.  It worked.  Though I think the BLT would have been fine.  Meh.  Too full to eat more, somewhat sadly.

Interesting.

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it is 52 outside.  It was 53 at midnight.  Now, that is what was forecast.  But, usually, it gets cooler through the night.  Almost always dropping three to five degrees in the final hours of dark.  So I expected to see an early plunge into the upper to even lower forties.  There is still time.

Time to wake, see if I could put a meal together.  Tired of beams.  Eggs and toast?  Keto bread can work.  Mom brought home something different.  I am reluctant to try new things, especially her choices.  She just goes with cheap, often.  And, failing that, she isn't good at doing carb to (right) fat to fiber assessments.  Like so many hippie types, she believes the print without knowing to look any deeper.  And, really, she doesn't care.