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While reviewing short films I happened to spot something of interest, if I thought it might be a hoax. Still, I looked a little closer. It doesn't seem to be a spoof. Further, I found others, of a more functional sort. Oh, right, you have no clue yet. Armor, or at least a gauntlet.
Saturday, September 14, 2013
Palate cleaning time.
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Tired of being tired, I plan to kick it up, or go another direction. A little song to send me on the way. Enjoy, yourself, at your leisure.
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Tired of being tired, I plan to kick it up, or go another direction. A little song to send me on the way. Enjoy, yourself, at your leisure.
A look in the mirror.
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I woke, a bit heavy as usual, and late but not considering the hour of my repose. Waking relatively well, I made coffee and fumbled for something to eat. On to the bathroom, but checking the pill container divider. It is dry and ready to fill after having been cleaned. Duty done, hands washed, a quick look at the mirror. Gah! Do I have something wrong with my eyes? Pinkeye or, or... something? Ah, no. A bit of thought and it makes sense. Odd how a man can walk through rain in an empty state for days, a week, and not even remember it, being so focused on getting to some distant spot or trying to examine things in the dark. Rain indeed, a deluge. Awful for it to rain for no reason.
Today? I don't know. I have looked, in the boxes, for the items and devices I sought. They don't seem to be there. Perhaps another look, then a look through one last group of things. Perhaps I left the phone charger in the last hotel, but I remember unplugging it and taking it. It could have gotten lost, somehow, on the way, though, too. Hmm, perhaps checking my vehicle as well, in case I removed it for comforts sake, being in a cargo pocket but perhaps raking my leg when I would get in and out? Dunno.
Might as well go through clothes and pile them for washing anyway. I turn pants inside out when I have cleared the pockets, as a sign. Shorts and sweat bottoms, anything with pockets. Well, and actually shirts too. With or without pockets, if shirts aren't an absolute. I don't even know WHY I do it, other than that my last woman type did it and she seemed to know what she was doing. I may have asked, but if she answered I have forgotten.
For now? Coffee, that spit of breakfast, and a bit of waking. I don't know, can't bring myself awake enough to care. I hope the waterworks are done though. Hmm, probably not to town today, perhaps Monday. Oh, but setting up my medicines, on partial doses, would be super. That, itself, is going to... hurt. On the good side, I will be too zombified, if the worst of it hits, to notice hell and death for a bit. Numb, baby. Take it where you can get it.
Later.
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I woke, a bit heavy as usual, and late but not considering the hour of my repose. Waking relatively well, I made coffee and fumbled for something to eat. On to the bathroom, but checking the pill container divider. It is dry and ready to fill after having been cleaned. Duty done, hands washed, a quick look at the mirror. Gah! Do I have something wrong with my eyes? Pinkeye or, or... something? Ah, no. A bit of thought and it makes sense. Odd how a man can walk through rain in an empty state for days, a week, and not even remember it, being so focused on getting to some distant spot or trying to examine things in the dark. Rain indeed, a deluge. Awful for it to rain for no reason.
Today? I don't know. I have looked, in the boxes, for the items and devices I sought. They don't seem to be there. Perhaps another look, then a look through one last group of things. Perhaps I left the phone charger in the last hotel, but I remember unplugging it and taking it. It could have gotten lost, somehow, on the way, though, too. Hmm, perhaps checking my vehicle as well, in case I removed it for comforts sake, being in a cargo pocket but perhaps raking my leg when I would get in and out? Dunno.
Might as well go through clothes and pile them for washing anyway. I turn pants inside out when I have cleared the pockets, as a sign. Shorts and sweat bottoms, anything with pockets. Well, and actually shirts too. With or without pockets, if shirts aren't an absolute. I don't even know WHY I do it, other than that my last woman type did it and she seemed to know what she was doing. I may have asked, but if she answered I have forgotten.
For now? Coffee, that spit of breakfast, and a bit of waking. I don't know, can't bring myself awake enough to care. I hope the waterworks are done though. Hmm, probably not to town today, perhaps Monday. Oh, but setting up my medicines, on partial doses, would be super. That, itself, is going to... hurt. On the good side, I will be too zombified, if the worst of it hits, to notice hell and death for a bit. Numb, baby. Take it where you can get it.
Later.
Short films, who knew.
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Not quite ready for bed but with little else going so as to focus I found myself... looking around. And these are some of the things I saw. A few of the better ones I offer for your viewing pleasure.
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Not quite ready for bed but with little else going so as to focus I found myself... looking around. And these are some of the things I saw. A few of the better ones I offer for your viewing pleasure.
Friday, September 13, 2013
Haiku Monday - Loss
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Becca is up with the the theme, her gig about the contest, and the rules at her place.
The theme... Oh, it's been a sore tooth for a few days. Being down physically has meant... recall. Only this year I added another to the pile, a loss I have only come to know, like a black hole, from the lack of light in certain areas as I have become able to see more than psychically, spiritually, myopically. A sore tooth it is, and rotten to the core, festering as it has. I have been licking around that tooth, and bringing it into play with the other bad soul teeth, to try to find balance. Why do we play with sores in our mouth or on our tongue? Why do we tinker with our body sores, wounds, and pains? Does it make them better? Does it help us diagnose and so better seek remedy? Is it, potentially, destruction testing on the sly, trying to do things the easy way if it doesn't always work? Is it just desserts?
So, I will touch on this. I will try to keep it together. Just understand, I didn't lose this, or that, or here, or there. I lost every source of family and love I knew in one epoch of my life in less than a year. One part was helping me with the other part until it went dark as well. I still don't know the details, I cannot touch them. Like black holes, I see an outline of nothingness in my soul, things gone. None of the math or physics works. Nothing... explains. I don't know why, how, when exactly. Time to... work those rotten teeth over a bit more, I suppose. They might ooze into being septic, or I might get a bit ill just from what is already there oozing out. Yum!
Oh, mind you, I am a story teller, and a blind one. I know nothing, only... sense. My senses could easily be off. All I can do is cast shapes in the sand with my finger from that which I do see, feel, and hope there is some truth, or meaning, there. I simply don't know. Oh, I won't be... doing anything else with this. I already have a... thread that... brought this to you. Steps.
I don't know her name
I can't remember her ways -
I can't forget her love
shadows in the night
kin kingmakers, silent sons
lost in world ~ with me
A blink and a burn
A world with a future- ash
Sleep til birth relieves
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Becca is up with the the theme, her gig about the contest, and the rules at her place.
The theme... Oh, it's been a sore tooth for a few days. Being down physically has meant... recall. Only this year I added another to the pile, a loss I have only come to know, like a black hole, from the lack of light in certain areas as I have become able to see more than psychically, spiritually, myopically. A sore tooth it is, and rotten to the core, festering as it has. I have been licking around that tooth, and bringing it into play with the other bad soul teeth, to try to find balance. Why do we play with sores in our mouth or on our tongue? Why do we tinker with our body sores, wounds, and pains? Does it make them better? Does it help us diagnose and so better seek remedy? Is it, potentially, destruction testing on the sly, trying to do things the easy way if it doesn't always work? Is it just desserts?
So, I will touch on this. I will try to keep it together. Just understand, I didn't lose this, or that, or here, or there. I lost every source of family and love I knew in one epoch of my life in less than a year. One part was helping me with the other part until it went dark as well. I still don't know the details, I cannot touch them. Like black holes, I see an outline of nothingness in my soul, things gone. None of the math or physics works. Nothing... explains. I don't know why, how, when exactly. Time to... work those rotten teeth over a bit more, I suppose. They might ooze into being septic, or I might get a bit ill just from what is already there oozing out. Yum!
Oh, mind you, I am a story teller, and a blind one. I know nothing, only... sense. My senses could easily be off. All I can do is cast shapes in the sand with my finger from that which I do see, feel, and hope there is some truth, or meaning, there. I simply don't know. Oh, I won't be... doing anything else with this. I already have a... thread that... brought this to you. Steps.
I don't know her name
I can't remember her ways -
I can't forget her love
shadows in the night
kin kingmakers, silent sons
lost in world ~ with me
A blink and a burn
A world with a future- ash
Sleep til birth relieves
Up, done, out, and back.
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Beyond getting a few meals, I also did some shopping for food to cook here at home, plus the milk and cream. Yum! I didn't bother with the car wash. Beside being a bit more done in than I thought my tank was still mostly full. No gas, no wash. Plus, it was still raining and might for the next several days. That will just have to wait.
I had to finish my second meal here at home. Almost couldn't bench press my butt out of the chair to finally bring it in, but I managed to squeak that out too. Tired. So very tired. AC is going and it looks like I am finally settled from all the doings (considering) to finally hit the rack.
Good night peoples. I hope your dreams are fond and bright, that your sleep sees you rested, and that you wake and finding something to smile or laugh about. We can get to the acerbic stuff later, perhaps together. Unless *cough* it's your fault! :p Urhm... *cough* or mine.
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Beyond getting a few meals, I also did some shopping for food to cook here at home, plus the milk and cream. Yum! I didn't bother with the car wash. Beside being a bit more done in than I thought my tank was still mostly full. No gas, no wash. Plus, it was still raining and might for the next several days. That will just have to wait.
I had to finish my second meal here at home. Almost couldn't bench press my butt out of the chair to finally bring it in, but I managed to squeak that out too. Tired. So very tired. AC is going and it looks like I am finally settled from all the doings (considering) to finally hit the rack.
Good night peoples. I hope your dreams are fond and bright, that your sleep sees you rested, and that you wake and finding something to smile or laugh about. We can get to the acerbic stuff later, perhaps together. Unless *cough* it's your fault! :p Urhm... *cough* or mine.
There is no such thing as atheism.
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Let me clarify a few things first. Hmm, butter? No, but there will be crabs to be had aplenty shortly.
Atheism, from my understanding, is a belief that there is no God or gods, or... anything... but what science has proven. It is a world view purportedly based upon the results of the sciences. And while there are groups and individuals who declare themselves to be atheists, that doesn't make the notion of their beliefs true. If I were to start, oh, let us say a flat earth society... would that make the earth flat? No, of course not. I am even agnostic about the notion of the state of being an agnostic, but I'll get to that in a bit.
I will start with the sciences. The sciences, clumped together and rolled into a design, as a means testing of... anything... is not just rather weak, it is... impossible. Science, as a term, could be considered to have one of several different meanings. One could ascribe it to mean the sum of collected, studied, and theoretical data compiled by man. Another meaning might be the process by which subjects are studied. Another, among possibly other meanings, might be the men who do the work, in a general way. And while science does attempt to understand the world, ourselves, life, and all, the truth is it is a never ending process. If science figures everything out, and is able to apply that, it won't be science anymore. It would purely be engineering. It isn't there. It isn't close. Science is the study of what exists, but is limited by our own ability, and failings. Those limits are vast beyond imagining. None of the definitions of science could even remotely be construed with knowing everything, true knowledge, or simply the truth. They can't even figure out how to get two main schools of physics to work together! Beyond that, basing a belief on science, which is based upon mathematics, and knowing that mathematicians still haven't actually proven that 1 + 1 = 2, or gotten beyond the fact that zero is just a theory, is... rather a sketchy proposition. It all comes down to the little details. The cracks in those details are wide enough to drive universes through. And... that happens from time to time.
As it ends, atheism chooses to believe in the non-existence of God because science hasn't proven God, if that is quite debatable, down in the details. But what they completely omit is the obverse, that science also hasn't disproven God. That in spite of the majority of the world believing in God or gods. Trying to use psychology to discount religion would be much like a spiritualist trying to use astrology to prove the sun is actually cold, both are about as scientifically adequate as the other. both pseudo sciences that... just don't pan out when men try to tinker with the theory to favor their pet perversities. Atheism, as it turns out, is merely a belief in science, one most atheists truly do not grok. I would happily agree that atheism exists, albeit not as it is tendered... if they will agree that it is simply another faith system.
As to agnostics? As I said I am torn on that. Go figure? Perhaps, for some, who really can't sense or feel or see. When I look at the world, the universe, even through the scientific lens to within my capacity, I don't just see the fingerprint of God. I also see the image of man. I see little algorithms, flows, designs, and things that point to the existence, biology, real psychology, and other aspects of men. For a long time, as a choosing disbeliever, this bothered me. Until it clicked. We are made in God's image, it would make sense. Didn't like it then, do now, if it is still... a bit heavy. Not sure if they can't or won't see.
Ah, as for my part? I saw, I just didn't like it. I couldn't do what I wanted to do. It was inconvenient. So I simply agreed with whoever to a degree, paid lip service perhaps, then did whatever I wanted. I won't say I went to a mountaintop and attained wisdom and went on to heal myself. No... I was pulled, called, dragged in. Almost tricked in. I actually challenged the truth... Prove it, I thought. The answer was... disprove it. So I started digging, with great zeal. For me, in the end... I lost. While I have no more evidence than the next man, my attempts at really getting to the heart of matters showed what... I already knew. Still didn't like it, still don't, always. But if something is right the vast majority of the time, to my satisfaction (if not always pleasure), I will yield. Science, as it turns out, is based on techniques that work only through finding the imperfections in the theory and using these to propose new theories and then having engineers actually make it work, leaving actual science in the dust. Probably still wouldn't have speed of sound travel if it had been left to the scientists at NASA. They handed the task to the military and they simply engineered it, theories be damned. Same with electricity, if you get right down to it. Scientists knew, at the time, that it running electricity across a wire was far too inefficient to be a workable power solution. Thanks you, Westinghouse, Edison, et. al. Bah!
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Let me clarify a few things first. Hmm, butter? No, but there will be crabs to be had aplenty shortly.
Atheism, from my understanding, is a belief that there is no God or gods, or... anything... but what science has proven. It is a world view purportedly based upon the results of the sciences. And while there are groups and individuals who declare themselves to be atheists, that doesn't make the notion of their beliefs true. If I were to start, oh, let us say a flat earth society... would that make the earth flat? No, of course not. I am even agnostic about the notion of the state of being an agnostic, but I'll get to that in a bit.
I will start with the sciences. The sciences, clumped together and rolled into a design, as a means testing of... anything... is not just rather weak, it is... impossible. Science, as a term, could be considered to have one of several different meanings. One could ascribe it to mean the sum of collected, studied, and theoretical data compiled by man. Another meaning might be the process by which subjects are studied. Another, among possibly other meanings, might be the men who do the work, in a general way. And while science does attempt to understand the world, ourselves, life, and all, the truth is it is a never ending process. If science figures everything out, and is able to apply that, it won't be science anymore. It would purely be engineering. It isn't there. It isn't close. Science is the study of what exists, but is limited by our own ability, and failings. Those limits are vast beyond imagining. None of the definitions of science could even remotely be construed with knowing everything, true knowledge, or simply the truth. They can't even figure out how to get two main schools of physics to work together! Beyond that, basing a belief on science, which is based upon mathematics, and knowing that mathematicians still haven't actually proven that 1 + 1 = 2, or gotten beyond the fact that zero is just a theory, is... rather a sketchy proposition. It all comes down to the little details. The cracks in those details are wide enough to drive universes through. And... that happens from time to time.
As it ends, atheism chooses to believe in the non-existence of God because science hasn't proven God, if that is quite debatable, down in the details. But what they completely omit is the obverse, that science also hasn't disproven God. That in spite of the majority of the world believing in God or gods. Trying to use psychology to discount religion would be much like a spiritualist trying to use astrology to prove the sun is actually cold, both are about as scientifically adequate as the other. both pseudo sciences that... just don't pan out when men try to tinker with the theory to favor their pet perversities. Atheism, as it turns out, is merely a belief in science, one most atheists truly do not grok. I would happily agree that atheism exists, albeit not as it is tendered... if they will agree that it is simply another faith system.
As to agnostics? As I said I am torn on that. Go figure? Perhaps, for some, who really can't sense or feel or see. When I look at the world, the universe, even through the scientific lens to within my capacity, I don't just see the fingerprint of God. I also see the image of man. I see little algorithms, flows, designs, and things that point to the existence, biology, real psychology, and other aspects of men. For a long time, as a choosing disbeliever, this bothered me. Until it clicked. We are made in God's image, it would make sense. Didn't like it then, do now, if it is still... a bit heavy. Not sure if they can't or won't see.
Ah, as for my part? I saw, I just didn't like it. I couldn't do what I wanted to do. It was inconvenient. So I simply agreed with whoever to a degree, paid lip service perhaps, then did whatever I wanted. I won't say I went to a mountaintop and attained wisdom and went on to heal myself. No... I was pulled, called, dragged in. Almost tricked in. I actually challenged the truth... Prove it, I thought. The answer was... disprove it. So I started digging, with great zeal. For me, in the end... I lost. While I have no more evidence than the next man, my attempts at really getting to the heart of matters showed what... I already knew. Still didn't like it, still don't, always. But if something is right the vast majority of the time, to my satisfaction (if not always pleasure), I will yield. Science, as it turns out, is based on techniques that work only through finding the imperfections in the theory and using these to propose new theories and then having engineers actually make it work, leaving actual science in the dust. Probably still wouldn't have speed of sound travel if it had been left to the scientists at NASA. They handed the task to the military and they simply engineered it, theories be damned. Same with electricity, if you get right down to it. Scientists knew, at the time, that it running electricity across a wire was far too inefficient to be a workable power solution. Thanks you, Westinghouse, Edison, et. al. Bah!
Done?!?
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Shortly after that last post I slogged to my socks, put those on. Then slumped over to my boots, put those on and tied them. Then lumbered for the door. Raining! Well, a sprinkle anyway. I thought about calling it off. Hey, baseball players get it called for rain allll the time! But no. I started on the back end. As I was getting through that, considering the rain I thought, could it be slick? and maybe just because, I really thought about just doing the back half and... waiting for 'tomorrow' to do the rest. I didn't feel like fussing with the grill main body. As I finished the back reaches though I decided to just dig in. I even went for the grill body first, so as not to give myself an out as I finished off the other side. Munched my finger pretty good, but pain just... helps somehow. Twelve or thirteen boxes, the grill and legs, a fully packed bergen pack, a couple of other bags of stuff, and... more... all got hauled out. Most of it went to the laundry or the living room, stacked nicely by my chair, mostly. A very few things were good enough to be put back where they came from and some things went to the sink.
And yes, there is dust. I may wash the Xt'er when I fill up tonight, even with therain sprinkling. It just isn't enough to get the dust off. It just makes it worse. Further, I may take her in at the first of the month and get her cleaned head to tail. There is no way I could get that out. My guess is they are going to have a... real man's man job on their hands themselves. Ah, I have to remember to begin paying for dinners. This month. I remembered an old personal pledge and took care of that. And then there are teeth. Next month? I need to figure out charity money. A big bit here, a little there, two places in mind, I have been remiss. That will sure bite into spending money but then... yeah... Hmm, on to the rest.
But... I am not sure I am done. That was refreshing, this time. While I would love to tear into things looking for some specific items, I believe I will wait on that, at least until I make a run into town. The only food place that is probably open is McDonalds. That will do. It won't even be a big meal, I'm not quite up to that. Just a double cheese meal. It's a quarter past one and they only serve real food until 4:00, so I best hop to it, considering my speed. While I have been trying to do a meal a day it has become rather thin, as to plate size. No worries, I haven't been doing anything. So a smaller meal will work best. I might stop in for a couple of gallons of milk while I am at it, and soak the coffee pot. I left coffee in it in my rush. My bad. Coffee, milk, perhaps some whole whipping cream as a short term treat. If nothing else, a big glass of milk serves as a decent meal in itself. For me at least. Want not waste not and stick with whole milk.
Oh, but first a shower. I have, literally, mostly, just been sitting. Yes, a shower for sure. I am amazed. Just the few days ago that I did the stuff on the roof I came out of that sicker, sorer, and with a headache. I'll take this ball and run with it!
Oh, another thing. With the requirement of three published articles a month at Alexandria's, on top (I think) of my first article, I have been... focusing. Especially since I am starting in the middle of the month. I have two in the queue, including the one above. Putting them in the queue gives me time to review, edit, rearrange... You will, probably, be getting some of the articles in their rawer, my natural, state. The above won't show for several days, but another, a rehash of an older one, will show up tomorrow. I did rework it a bit, cleaned it up, edged, trimmed, straightened. Ugh. Work is hard! :p
Later, or perhaps good night.
.
Shortly after that last post I slogged to my socks, put those on. Then slumped over to my boots, put those on and tied them. Then lumbered for the door. Raining! Well, a sprinkle anyway. I thought about calling it off. Hey, baseball players get it called for rain allll the time! But no. I started on the back end. As I was getting through that, considering the rain I thought, could it be slick? and maybe just because, I really thought about just doing the back half and... waiting for 'tomorrow' to do the rest. I didn't feel like fussing with the grill main body. As I finished the back reaches though I decided to just dig in. I even went for the grill body first, so as not to give myself an out as I finished off the other side. Munched my finger pretty good, but pain just... helps somehow. Twelve or thirteen boxes, the grill and legs, a fully packed bergen pack, a couple of other bags of stuff, and... more... all got hauled out. Most of it went to the laundry or the living room, stacked nicely by my chair, mostly. A very few things were good enough to be put back where they came from and some things went to the sink.
And yes, there is dust. I may wash the Xt'er when I fill up tonight, even with the
But... I am not sure I am done. That was refreshing, this time. While I would love to tear into things looking for some specific items, I believe I will wait on that, at least until I make a run into town. The only food place that is probably open is McDonalds. That will do. It won't even be a big meal, I'm not quite up to that. Just a double cheese meal. It's a quarter past one and they only serve real food until 4:00, so I best hop to it, considering my speed. While I have been trying to do a meal a day it has become rather thin, as to plate size. No worries, I haven't been doing anything. So a smaller meal will work best. I might stop in for a couple of gallons of milk while I am at it, and soak the coffee pot. I left coffee in it in my rush. My bad. Coffee, milk, perhaps some whole whipping cream as a short term treat. If nothing else, a big glass of milk serves as a decent meal in itself. For me at least. Want not waste not and stick with whole milk.
Oh, but first a shower. I have, literally, mostly, just been sitting. Yes, a shower for sure. I am amazed. Just the few days ago that I did the stuff on the roof I came out of that sicker, sorer, and with a headache. I'll take this ball and run with it!
Oh, another thing. With the requirement of three published articles a month at Alexandria's, on top (I think) of my first article, I have been... focusing. Especially since I am starting in the middle of the month. I have two in the queue, including the one above. Putting them in the queue gives me time to review, edit, rearrange... You will, probably, be getting some of the articles in their rawer, my natural, state. The above won't show for several days, but another, a rehash of an older one, will show up tomorrow. I did rework it a bit, cleaned it up, edged, trimmed, straightened. Ugh. Work is hard! :p
Later, or perhaps good night.
Thursday, September 12, 2013
Some chuckles and about ready to work.
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I remember one of the conversations about Burning Man, on the way to it, with Desert Cat. I had some wonder about the art. How good it would be. He caught on pretty quickly and just rode my thought wave to see where it would go. I mentioned something about strike-anywhere matches, and offering those freely to artists who failed the test. He didn't quite want to tell me, but I finally got out of him that he had procured lighters to hand out. He didn't want me hijacking his gifting stash because he was slightly, okay, truly afraid I would be handing them out to crushed artists. And... I can't say the potential wasn't there. As it turned out the art was pretty good. Oh, there were little organic gooey things that weren't to my tastes, but even these I could see work and simply agree to disagree, more so with the majority of it being rather good, interesting, even interactive. Yes, chuckles...
I am about to get started unpacking. I meant to do it much earlier. It simply did not happen. I stayed up very late last night hoping I would get to it but that simply didn't work. Tonight... I do believe I will at least hit it. How much I will get done is another thing. Having the grill out, to be set up tomorrow I hope, would be fantastic. The grill makes feeding my face much easier. And unlike my other grill I don't grimace and give the grill a look of fear as I try to cook things on it. Most of it will simply go in beside my chair, to the laundry, with the dirty dishes, or wherever it belongs if it seems in good enough shape. Hmm... yes, I think I can. Tomorrow, when I wake, I will begin sorting and looking for the needed items.
Later, maybe good night.
.
I remember one of the conversations about Burning Man, on the way to it, with Desert Cat. I had some wonder about the art. How good it would be. He caught on pretty quickly and just rode my thought wave to see where it would go. I mentioned something about strike-anywhere matches, and offering those freely to artists who failed the test. He didn't quite want to tell me, but I finally got out of him that he had procured lighters to hand out. He didn't want me hijacking his gifting stash because he was slightly, okay, truly afraid I would be handing them out to crushed artists. And... I can't say the potential wasn't there. As it turned out the art was pretty good. Oh, there were little organic gooey things that weren't to my tastes, but even these I could see work and simply agree to disagree, more so with the majority of it being rather good, interesting, even interactive. Yes, chuckles...
I am about to get started unpacking. I meant to do it much earlier. It simply did not happen. I stayed up very late last night hoping I would get to it but that simply didn't work. Tonight... I do believe I will at least hit it. How much I will get done is another thing. Having the grill out, to be set up tomorrow I hope, would be fantastic. The grill makes feeding my face much easier. And unlike my other grill I don't grimace and give the grill a look of fear as I try to cook things on it. Most of it will simply go in beside my chair, to the laundry, with the dirty dishes, or wherever it belongs if it seems in good enough shape. Hmm... yes, I think I can. Tomorrow, when I wake, I will begin sorting and looking for the needed items.
Later, maybe good night.
Some news tidbits.
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First off, a little about those who truly had a bad mother. Oh, my mother was a stormy critter. The glare, shout, or belt were used aplenty. But with that was love. Now, I never believed when she said this was going to hurt her more than me, mind you. But I have come to believe some of the implications and think there was something there. I do honestly believe she did what she did, mostly, for love. And there were far more good than bad times. By the fruits, as they say. Though don't blame her if you think I'm a bit odd... she could only work with the materials she was given, mind you. :) Anyway, here is a story about a mother who was all bad all the time with no saving grace and without love. Her children seem to have come through it, though in spite, not as in my case because, of their mother. Youch!
The next story causes me to dream great dreams. I WISH it were true. Unfortunately I do not believe it. A few minor inconveniences and the great idiot senator believes all is lost. He would not have fared well in the real world. Politics and academics are all that man can handle.
And this next story? It is why I WISH the above story were true. Why in the world is a state worried about private dinner parties? I guess every nickle and every ounce of intrusion into privates lives is all government is about now. I would love to partake in such a thing, though the affordability factor would make it a rare treat. I'm not so interested in oddities of chem-cooking as I am in dishes that are rarely, or never, offered to the general public because of rarity or the general public's lack of a food backbone. Oh, I'm all for meat and potatoes, but could you toss some fresh squid, add very fresh beef or fish eyes with a bit of lemon or lime and sea salt, and perhaps a non-alcoholic (at least the first time) mix of fresh beef blood and raw milk? You might even change beef for goat, lamb, ostrich, or... whatever. Yes, my tastes run... to all corners of the way man once not only ate, but had to eat. The service saw me on my way to that, I am just... continuing that journey. Grubs? You can keep them, unless you have found a way to make them savory, or maybe sweet. Raw or straight cooked? Not so much. Bleh. I prefer regular worms, if not by much. Worms do work well in foods such as cakes, stews, lots of things though. I suppose grub would as well, chunked and hidden in other things. It IS almost free protein.
Oh, plus, I used to go to 'underground' 'parties'. There is something to getting away with it. But, yeah, we, as adults, do not need, nor want, the government to "have our back" on every decision we make, every purchase we make, every thought we have. It's not so much as a thank you but no thank you, for my part, as a fuck off and die. Yeah, I think... Hey, isn't that pretty much what we told K. George et. al.? I do believe it was. And for much less, if most realized that if you let one door open, soon you will be swamped with grabs through a thousand doors and windows. As we are now seeing, only now we have representation but that is being watered down by those who aren't taxed, actually draining the tax chest, and still getting a vote! Law and order is fine until you have a government employee checking to make sure you are doing everything correctly, according to bureaucratic whims, while pilfering you blind on top of it. Back the fuck off.
.
First off, a little about those who truly had a bad mother. Oh, my mother was a stormy critter. The glare, shout, or belt were used aplenty. But with that was love. Now, I never believed when she said this was going to hurt her more than me, mind you. But I have come to believe some of the implications and think there was something there. I do honestly believe she did what she did, mostly, for love. And there were far more good than bad times. By the fruits, as they say. Though don't blame her if you think I'm a bit odd... she could only work with the materials she was given, mind you. :) Anyway, here is a story about a mother who was all bad all the time with no saving grace and without love. Her children seem to have come through it, though in spite, not as in my case because, of their mother. Youch!
The next story causes me to dream great dreams. I WISH it were true. Unfortunately I do not believe it. A few minor inconveniences and the great idiot senator believes all is lost. He would not have fared well in the real world. Politics and academics are all that man can handle.
And this next story? It is why I WISH the above story were true. Why in the world is a state worried about private dinner parties? I guess every nickle and every ounce of intrusion into privates lives is all government is about now. I would love to partake in such a thing, though the affordability factor would make it a rare treat. I'm not so interested in oddities of chem-cooking as I am in dishes that are rarely, or never, offered to the general public because of rarity or the general public's lack of a food backbone. Oh, I'm all for meat and potatoes, but could you toss some fresh squid, add very fresh beef or fish eyes with a bit of lemon or lime and sea salt, and perhaps a non-alcoholic (at least the first time) mix of fresh beef blood and raw milk? You might even change beef for goat, lamb, ostrich, or... whatever. Yes, my tastes run... to all corners of the way man once not only ate, but had to eat. The service saw me on my way to that, I am just... continuing that journey. Grubs? You can keep them, unless you have found a way to make them savory, or maybe sweet. Raw or straight cooked? Not so much. Bleh. I prefer regular worms, if not by much. Worms do work well in foods such as cakes, stews, lots of things though. I suppose grub would as well, chunked and hidden in other things. It IS almost free protein.
Down then up late.
.
.
It was sunny but it looks like clouds are moving in. We are getting a lot of rain here, too much really. If we could get this in more discreet packages, we have the systems to store it. But when it comes as a huge packet we end up with flooding potential more than water storage. Further, the dew point jumps. It's still nowhere near as bad as Eloy when I stepped out. What a shock. Iowa in a desert! Still, it's enough, with my weakened state, to keep me a little lower and rougher than what could be hoped.
Desert Cat might be right, not running out of medicine that is acceptable would help. And I will have that in order next year. But that isn't the whole, or even majority of it. I simply did more for prep, then packing, then putting up, working, and taking down the camp, plus getting out as I did, then I honestly usually can do. Adrenalin is my friend in some situations. The truth is I do have some reserves. But once depleted, those reserves simply do not refresh. I haven't stretched like this since before I was ill. I do see a huge increase in capacity to do. What I don't see, unfortunately, is any increase in restoration.
I am planning on getting out and unpacking the vehicle tonight, when it is cool enough for my vampiric seeming tastes. I am not going to complicate my plans with any side ventures, like cleaning a bit, doing the dishes, or even sorting. My whole focus has to remain removal and some minor choosing of where some obvious things go. The things to be further broken down will go near my chair in the living room, roughly. A few things have specific places to go, and most of those will go there or to be washed first. Then, if I have anything left over, I may begin working on sorting and storing from the mixed boxes. As a treat, if I have the energy even then, will be to get to town and grab something to eat. Stick? Meet Carrot. Further, I then am hoping to call my friend and plan to be into town either Saturday or Monday, and maybe get into Church Saturday or Sunday. Ugh... I am hoping Saturday, so as to be at confession. Thankfully I just have the regular stuff, but it's important to me, possibly to my priest, and to God. It too is the stick, Eucharist being my carrot. I'm... easy, if... it isn't, always.
I just want to get out! I hate being trapped in my bunker. I haven't seen people in groups in a while. I do miss that. Plus, I just want to get my creaking old carcass out and about, perhaps blow out some of the carb build up, tootle around a bit, maybe check a few things out that are on my mind. Hmm, 14:51 here now... that gives me, say, five hours to goof until I want to start checking the temps outside. Yeah, I can tinker that time away. I best set the clock though. I can easily lose track.
Later! Yes, I'm excited to have a plan and to at least believe it just might work. It will see to my phone being back in service, a meal or three with my outings, and medicine getting back on the menu, all of which will surely lead to getting my feet back under me sooner rather than later. All theory, mind you, but... It's all I have right now. Yes, later, indeed.
.
It was sunny but it looks like clouds are moving in. We are getting a lot of rain here, too much really. If we could get this in more discreet packages, we have the systems to store it. But when it comes as a huge packet we end up with flooding potential more than water storage. Further, the dew point jumps. It's still nowhere near as bad as Eloy when I stepped out. What a shock. Iowa in a desert! Still, it's enough, with my weakened state, to keep me a little lower and rougher than what could be hoped.
Desert Cat might be right, not running out of medicine that is acceptable would help. And I will have that in order next year. But that isn't the whole, or even majority of it. I simply did more for prep, then packing, then putting up, working, and taking down the camp, plus getting out as I did, then I honestly usually can do. Adrenalin is my friend in some situations. The truth is I do have some reserves. But once depleted, those reserves simply do not refresh. I haven't stretched like this since before I was ill. I do see a huge increase in capacity to do. What I don't see, unfortunately, is any increase in restoration.
I am planning on getting out and unpacking the vehicle tonight, when it is cool enough for my vampiric seeming tastes. I am not going to complicate my plans with any side ventures, like cleaning a bit, doing the dishes, or even sorting. My whole focus has to remain removal and some minor choosing of where some obvious things go. The things to be further broken down will go near my chair in the living room, roughly. A few things have specific places to go, and most of those will go there or to be washed first. Then, if I have anything left over, I may begin working on sorting and storing from the mixed boxes. As a treat, if I have the energy even then, will be to get to town and grab something to eat. Stick? Meet Carrot. Further, I then am hoping to call my friend and plan to be into town either Saturday or Monday, and maybe get into Church Saturday or Sunday. Ugh... I am hoping Saturday, so as to be at confession. Thankfully I just have the regular stuff, but it's important to me, possibly to my priest, and to God. It too is the stick, Eucharist being my carrot. I'm... easy, if... it isn't, always.
I just want to get out! I hate being trapped in my bunker. I haven't seen people in groups in a while. I do miss that. Plus, I just want to get my creaking old carcass out and about, perhaps blow out some of the carb build up, tootle around a bit, maybe check a few things out that are on my mind. Hmm, 14:51 here now... that gives me, say, five hours to goof until I want to start checking the temps outside. Yeah, I can tinker that time away. I best set the clock though. I can easily lose track.
Later! Yes, I'm excited to have a plan and to at least believe it just might work. It will see to my phone being back in service, a meal or three with my outings, and medicine getting back on the menu, all of which will surely lead to getting my feet back under me sooner rather than later. All theory, mind you, but... It's all I have right now. Yes, later, indeed.
Wednesday, September 11, 2013
Some things about BMan make sense, now.
.
.
While I have been grumbling about being laid out and feel a bit squashed and flayed, I remember back to another time I felt like this. After my first tour on a submarine. It was a three month detachment, and change. While we didn't have to take everything we needed to eat, we had to take everything else we would need for three months and a bit more maybe. Tobacco, clothes of various sorts, and shoes/boots, several pair of glasses, any treats, reading material, even extra personal tp in case we ran out(!), and who knew what else. Being the first tour I really didn't have a good idea about what to take. Other guys offered advice but their notions, of course, and interests, were quite different. Come to think of it, a multimedia ebook reader/movie viewer and a store of memory chips would have made much of that far easier. The only fear with that would have been breakage. Theft was simply not a problem on submarines. Such a man was ferreted out and all but crucified, then kicked out of sub duty. Especially since, if you needed... all you had to do was ask. Someone would... help. Or I found that to be the case. The days were twelve hours of work, six down, then it would start over. Only the Captain had 9 to 5, not even he had a guarantee of that. Running drills two out of three sleep cycles didn't help.
Technically, by rank, I didn't have to do some of the things others did. I didn't have to, for example, work in the galley. I put in for it anyway, and am glad I did. It was a social thing, on the sub, and earned me some decent bona fides up and down the chain, minus the chief to whom I had been assigned. Because while I wasn't technically inclined, he could use my rank and technical mos so as to supervise those who had the skills but not the rank (if that ruffled feathers from time to time). Easy job for me, but as I said, I was there to help, and "join the club", which I did. I was pleased to have helped in the galley though. We had one of the few cook master chiefs on our sub. When the rest of us were busting our butts, really busy, and doing our best, I saw him see something he didn't like, look around and see that we were giving 110%, so rather than yell or reassign, I saw him get a bucket and some stuff, go down on his knees, and scrub an area of the floor that just wasn't up to his level of fitness. That made my whole sacrifice in the galley worth it. Oh, I got "shit jobs" for a good week or two after that, when I got back to my chief. Took em' and smiled, really. I understood and just took it. I remember being asked, usually, if I wanted to help out. I don't know why, and don't remember if that is normal. It strikes me as odd now. The only thing I wouldn't do was climb/wiggle through a tight area sort of through pipes and under the grated deck, to do something. The fit was tight for a smaller guy. I think they were just teasing. I wouldn't have made it in and out, I didn't think. "Nope!", I said. While not, obviously, an extreme claustrophobic, I... did have my limits.
Basically a submarine, a boomer anyway, is like three months of Burning Man. Oh, and yeah, when you get off, back to shore? You are zoomed. Just getting used to the sun is a bit of a thing. Fresh air is grand if it doesn't make sense at first. A week after being home, if you go smell your clothes? Ick! You never really get that smell out no matter how many times you wash it. Wives have been trying for all of the time of submarines to figure that out so I am thinking there is no fix. There are some things that if enterprising socialized women can't figure out... they just can't be done. Just keep those clothes and gear purely for sub runs. Burned out, fuzzy in the brain, new air, actually different altitude if not by much, since it is underwater it is more than one might think, even encapsulated, I do believe. Instead of coming out of the desert I came out of the sea. Oh, and on a sub, it is either chilly or blast furnace hot. Forward, with crew but mostly electronics, is kept somewhere in the 66-68 range. Not bad but moist and metallic, which change the dynamic of the temperature a great deal... and no sun. Aft is simply kept hotter, so the mechanical end runs more smoothly. How hot, to a degree, depends on how close you are to whatever is being used, and what else you might be doing to or around such heat sources.
From reading a bit, it looks like everyone crawls back out of those sands, though, and has to reconfigure their configuration, catch some z's and their breath, and figure out where to go from there. While this is worse, for me, here and now, than even a sub return, I suspect that is merely because I am old and ill. I do think I could have done this on my hands back then, and been running 18 hour days in the sun and wilds. While the sun/heat wasn't my favorite, even back then, I know I could and did handle large doses of that for other reasons, and of the worse sort... with humidity. Bleh... Dogs go where their masters command.
Anyway, after the dreams of typical sub duty and decompression from that, I am feeling better. I have some context. And, yeah, they pretty much gave us a week or two of light duty/no duty upon returning topside. Three months of lighter duty after that, give or take, then we would have to hit it again. I had heard, for most guys, that four tours would see them to retirement (if I thought they had to be wrong, especially with some mos's, definitely my technical job). Maybe to the level of chief, but that should be about a twelve year climb. Hmm, I even doubt that. I would guess it would be more like two years on, two off, the whole career... 20years/2withsub = 10subyears, 10subyears/ 2deploymentsperyear =5dives... maybe four wasn't so off. Not sure. It was a beastly little spot of work, especially if you tore into it. But fun. If you like to work and live with the wind, and with a bunch of other tech heads, grease monkeys, and... your own frat house. :) Those dreams are so... refreshing. Fond memories, mostly.
Ah, later.
.
While I have been grumbling about being laid out and feel a bit squashed and flayed, I remember back to another time I felt like this. After my first tour on a submarine. It was a three month detachment, and change. While we didn't have to take everything we needed to eat, we had to take everything else we would need for three months and a bit more maybe. Tobacco, clothes of various sorts, and shoes/boots, several pair of glasses, any treats, reading material, even extra personal tp in case we ran out(!), and who knew what else. Being the first tour I really didn't have a good idea about what to take. Other guys offered advice but their notions, of course, and interests, were quite different. Come to think of it, a multimedia ebook reader/movie viewer and a store of memory chips would have made much of that far easier. The only fear with that would have been breakage. Theft was simply not a problem on submarines. Such a man was ferreted out and all but crucified, then kicked out of sub duty. Especially since, if you needed... all you had to do was ask. Someone would... help. Or I found that to be the case. The days were twelve hours of work, six down, then it would start over. Only the Captain had 9 to 5, not even he had a guarantee of that. Running drills two out of three sleep cycles didn't help.
Technically, by rank, I didn't have to do some of the things others did. I didn't have to, for example, work in the galley. I put in for it anyway, and am glad I did. It was a social thing, on the sub, and earned me some decent bona fides up and down the chain, minus the chief to whom I had been assigned. Because while I wasn't technically inclined, he could use my rank and technical mos so as to supervise those who had the skills but not the rank (if that ruffled feathers from time to time). Easy job for me, but as I said, I was there to help, and "join the club", which I did. I was pleased to have helped in the galley though. We had one of the few cook master chiefs on our sub. When the rest of us were busting our butts, really busy, and doing our best, I saw him see something he didn't like, look around and see that we were giving 110%, so rather than yell or reassign, I saw him get a bucket and some stuff, go down on his knees, and scrub an area of the floor that just wasn't up to his level of fitness. That made my whole sacrifice in the galley worth it. Oh, I got "shit jobs" for a good week or two after that, when I got back to my chief. Took em' and smiled, really. I understood and just took it. I remember being asked, usually, if I wanted to help out. I don't know why, and don't remember if that is normal. It strikes me as odd now. The only thing I wouldn't do was climb/wiggle through a tight area sort of through pipes and under the grated deck, to do something. The fit was tight for a smaller guy. I think they were just teasing. I wouldn't have made it in and out, I didn't think. "Nope!", I said. While not, obviously, an extreme claustrophobic, I... did have my limits.
Basically a submarine, a boomer anyway, is like three months of Burning Man. Oh, and yeah, when you get off, back to shore? You are zoomed. Just getting used to the sun is a bit of a thing. Fresh air is grand if it doesn't make sense at first. A week after being home, if you go smell your clothes? Ick! You never really get that smell out no matter how many times you wash it. Wives have been trying for all of the time of submarines to figure that out so I am thinking there is no fix. There are some things that if enterprising socialized women can't figure out... they just can't be done. Just keep those clothes and gear purely for sub runs. Burned out, fuzzy in the brain, new air, actually different altitude if not by much, since it is underwater it is more than one might think, even encapsulated, I do believe. Instead of coming out of the desert I came out of the sea. Oh, and on a sub, it is either chilly or blast furnace hot. Forward, with crew but mostly electronics, is kept somewhere in the 66-68 range. Not bad but moist and metallic, which change the dynamic of the temperature a great deal... and no sun. Aft is simply kept hotter, so the mechanical end runs more smoothly. How hot, to a degree, depends on how close you are to whatever is being used, and what else you might be doing to or around such heat sources.
From reading a bit, it looks like everyone crawls back out of those sands, though, and has to reconfigure their configuration, catch some z's and their breath, and figure out where to go from there. While this is worse, for me, here and now, than even a sub return, I suspect that is merely because I am old and ill. I do think I could have done this on my hands back then, and been running 18 hour days in the sun and wilds. While the sun/heat wasn't my favorite, even back then, I know I could and did handle large doses of that for other reasons, and of the worse sort... with humidity. Bleh... Dogs go where their masters command.
Anyway, after the dreams of typical sub duty and decompression from that, I am feeling better. I have some context. And, yeah, they pretty much gave us a week or two of light duty/no duty upon returning topside. Three months of lighter duty after that, give or take, then we would have to hit it again. I had heard, for most guys, that four tours would see them to retirement (if I thought they had to be wrong, especially with some mos's, definitely my technical job). Maybe to the level of chief, but that should be about a twelve year climb. Hmm, I even doubt that. I would guess it would be more like two years on, two off, the whole career... 20years/2withsub = 10subyears, 10subyears/ 2deploymentsperyear =5dives... maybe four wasn't so off. Not sure. It was a beastly little spot of work, especially if you tore into it. But fun. If you like to work and live with the wind, and with a bunch of other tech heads, grease monkeys, and... your own frat house. :) Those dreams are so... refreshing. Fond memories, mostly.
Ah, later.
Tuesday, September 10, 2013
Received a headache for all my... good works.
.
.
Beside getting out and doing, I wanted to see if I really am devoid of energy. Sometimes, after sitting long periods, symptoms can seem like exhaustion but when pressed it vanishes. That is distinctly not the case this time. Beside burning out hard, having my muscles become shaky, and having to push through those things to finish, I received a nice little headache to top it all off. At least it was a small one. I thought to take a few more aspirin but just couldn't get to it. It seems to have passed on it's own. Tomorrow, hopefully, I will unload the interior. Before really unpacking I will look for a few things, such as the charger for the cellphone. Damned thing is simply a paperweight in it's current condition.
I did do a bit more for Alexandria. I wanted to tinker there a bit anyway, and get more familiar and comfortable with WordPress. New tech is something I rarely read unless extremely interested, motivated personally, and sheets full of will. While I have the first two, the last is weak to non-existent. I pulled an old post from here, repurposed it just a bit, then set it up to post four days hence. With a three post minimum, and sometimes pulling up lame, and while physical activity is still a bit beyond my reach, now is the time to get squared away on that, get into the groove, and be a bit prepared for whatever may come. Time will tell how this will work out. However I am hoping to hit on more pertinent, timely, posts, both here and there, a little more frequently. Any old posts I might wish to use will have to be changed, just a bit though perhaps much. I include much more personal thoughts, beliefs, and that here than what I would ask, or want, to publish elsewhere.
Hmm, yeah... Nearing bedtime, even though I wasn't up until 11:00 or so. (The real time is 19:49 here, I can't seem to get blogger to use the real time, though maybe the time delay has some purpose?) Ugh. As soon as supper shows or it hits an hour when I am pretty sure it won't, I'm hitting it. Hard. Good night.
.
Beside getting out and doing, I wanted to see if I really am devoid of energy. Sometimes, after sitting long periods, symptoms can seem like exhaustion but when pressed it vanishes. That is distinctly not the case this time. Beside burning out hard, having my muscles become shaky, and having to push through those things to finish, I received a nice little headache to top it all off. At least it was a small one. I thought to take a few more aspirin but just couldn't get to it. It seems to have passed on it's own. Tomorrow, hopefully, I will unload the interior. Before really unpacking I will look for a few things, such as the charger for the cellphone. Damned thing is simply a paperweight in it's current condition.
I did do a bit more for Alexandria. I wanted to tinker there a bit anyway, and get more familiar and comfortable with WordPress. New tech is something I rarely read unless extremely interested, motivated personally, and sheets full of will. While I have the first two, the last is weak to non-existent. I pulled an old post from here, repurposed it just a bit, then set it up to post four days hence. With a three post minimum, and sometimes pulling up lame, and while physical activity is still a bit beyond my reach, now is the time to get squared away on that, get into the groove, and be a bit prepared for whatever may come. Time will tell how this will work out. However I am hoping to hit on more pertinent, timely, posts, both here and there, a little more frequently. Any old posts I might wish to use will have to be changed, just a bit though perhaps much. I include much more personal thoughts, beliefs, and that here than what I would ask, or want, to publish elsewhere.
Hmm, yeah... Nearing bedtime, even though I wasn't up until 11:00 or so. (The real time is 19:49 here, I can't seem to get blogger to use the real time, though maybe the time delay has some purpose?) Ugh. As soon as supper shows or it hits an hour when I am pretty sure it won't, I'm hitting it. Hard. Good night.
I saw the opportunity and took it.
.
.
I can't believe I have been home since... Wednesday? Tuesday, after a quick check. And really Monday if you consider morning a new day, or being up from morning until then as one single day. I have been pretty much done in that whole time. I know what I need to do. I want to do it. There simply hasn't been any energy to drive those things. As it turns out keeping my eyes on the ball, the energy gauge, and some other things, has allowed me to finally unpack the rack pack.
I had the tent, cot, sleeping bag, and other such up there this time. The pack itself is supposed to be water proof. That did not prove out. We have been getting rain. I can't swear to it, but my guess is that with water on the roof and part of the pack down on the roof water simply seeped in. I'll... have to test that further at some point. I like knowing the limits of my gear.
So, instead of just unpacking and storing, as I had hoped, I had to unpack, take it all to where I am storing it, then set everything out and some of it up, in order to let things dry out. Thankfully I have an out of the way place to do that. I didn't set the tent up, but I did spread it out over the table that didn't get taken. I did set the cot up, putting the mat and the sleeping bag over it. I will need to turn those things from time to time. The tent and fly didn't seem too bad, so those may go away rather quickly. The rest?
Before doing that I decided to check on my garden. It looks like a complete wash, but a bit of purposeful and accidental finds are showing that there is some crop. I won't do corn again. Of the two rows I doubt if there are ten edible ears, of which I found three and will be checking to see if those are worth the effort of boiling. Then again there might be corn crop that works better hereabouts as well. There were a very few tomatoes as well. While going up the row of corn, however, I see that I have a lot of jalapeno. I have a number of another pepper, either Tai or Serrano. I may have other peppers out there, as I only accidentally found the jalapenos by tromping down weeds next to the corn. I may also have the half row of root vegetables, but the whole row is gone. And the weeds are pretty monster. So be it. Live and learn. If I can get around to it next year, perhaps drip watering will see to a better, easier to manage, crop.
Just... saying that I might be finding a way to things. That little effort did take it out of me though. What I found that is going to help drive me to get this done though is... I would like to go in and see my friend. I can't do that with a full Xt'er. Especially if I want to get him out. His wheel chair needs the whole back seat area. I will have to push though, sooner or later. Ugh. Later.
.
I can't believe I have been home since... Wednesday? Tuesday, after a quick check. And really Monday if you consider morning a new day, or being up from morning until then as one single day. I have been pretty much done in that whole time. I know what I need to do. I want to do it. There simply hasn't been any energy to drive those things. As it turns out keeping my eyes on the ball, the energy gauge, and some other things, has allowed me to finally unpack the rack pack.
I had the tent, cot, sleeping bag, and other such up there this time. The pack itself is supposed to be water proof. That did not prove out. We have been getting rain. I can't swear to it, but my guess is that with water on the roof and part of the pack down on the roof water simply seeped in. I'll... have to test that further at some point. I like knowing the limits of my gear.
So, instead of just unpacking and storing, as I had hoped, I had to unpack, take it all to where I am storing it, then set everything out and some of it up, in order to let things dry out. Thankfully I have an out of the way place to do that. I didn't set the tent up, but I did spread it out over the table that didn't get taken. I did set the cot up, putting the mat and the sleeping bag over it. I will need to turn those things from time to time. The tent and fly didn't seem too bad, so those may go away rather quickly. The rest?
Before doing that I decided to check on my garden. It looks like a complete wash, but a bit of purposeful and accidental finds are showing that there is some crop. I won't do corn again. Of the two rows I doubt if there are ten edible ears, of which I found three and will be checking to see if those are worth the effort of boiling. Then again there might be corn crop that works better hereabouts as well. There were a very few tomatoes as well. While going up the row of corn, however, I see that I have a lot of jalapeno. I have a number of another pepper, either Tai or Serrano. I may have other peppers out there, as I only accidentally found the jalapenos by tromping down weeds next to the corn. I may also have the half row of root vegetables, but the whole row is gone. And the weeds are pretty monster. So be it. Live and learn. If I can get around to it next year, perhaps drip watering will see to a better, easier to manage, crop.
Just... saying that I might be finding a way to things. That little effort did take it out of me though. What I found that is going to help drive me to get this done though is... I would like to go in and see my friend. I can't do that with a full Xt'er. Especially if I want to get him out. His wheel chair needs the whole back seat area. I will have to push though, sooner or later. Ugh. Later.
While rifling through the drawers of old whispers...
.
.
A couple of other electronica, anyway, songs came to my attention. If they had just been toss off mood things I wouldn't have brought them back up.
.
A couple of other electronica, anyway, songs came to my attention. If they had just been toss off mood things I wouldn't have brought them back up.
Still rough, too bad, so sad.
.
.
Huh? Mocking myself? Gosh but I had some great mother types to model! Sometimes zero sympathy was to be had from the adult skirt in the home. Never le minde.
I just woke and dosed with aspirin and the water pill. I think water had displaced the innards and bone cavity containers enough that they have to... work back into place. It's not a comfortable thing. That isn't what has kept me from work, mind you. I simply have been exhausted. I spent my allowance for two months for that nearly two week drive to, stay, and return from camp. I cooked more than I usually do in a month alone. As I have said, I run on rechargeable batteries that are on the edge of being junk. The thing is, in a human type, you can't just replace them as you would in a tool or toy. That spells death, or puts a very distinct date on the thing at the very least. My batteries work fine, once charged. It is the recharge rate that is defunct. And I certainly discharged my batteries.
The recent post I wrote, considering conservativism and whether I still belonged was actually written for a new blog for which I am merely a guest writer. Alexandria is the name of it. If you know anything about the city from which that arrives, and a specific era of it, you know part of the draw. But too, I wanted to do something... more formal. And, yes, I am still known as Doom there. So I haven't gone all mainstream on you. Then again, I was assured that would not be required. And I assured them that it would not happen. So long as we were clear on things. Three posts a month, after my first. I will probably usually post them here first. Transferring them over seemed to go very smoothly. I've not worked with WordPress before, so... it's new. Thing is, many of the fixes for blogspot I actually found in WordPress advice columns, oddly, and translated, so I have some working knowledge. So, if you want to see Doom nearly at work, and his new place of vocational avocation, stop in and comment at Alexandria, or not. It is weird. It is almost like working from home. I like that.
Nothing was done yesterday. I am still pushing for things to happen though. I feel like a shark stuck in a cage. Work is a form of food, and it is 'right 'chere', I just... can't... get through that cage! I will keep trying. If I get neck strain from trying to force it I will simply take another aspirin! Ugh! Oh, and while I haven't found the cord yet, I checked my phone this morning. It did turn on, but was nearly dead. I was able to at least call my mother and let her know I was home, safe, and well. She was happy to hear but didn't seem too worried, if she was at work. I had to tell her three times, though, not to call tonight because my phone... well... is in the same shape I am... nearly dead. And it is recharging about as fast as I am. :p
Later.
.
Huh? Mocking myself? Gosh but I had some great mother types to model! Sometimes zero sympathy was to be had from the adult skirt in the home. Never le minde.
I just woke and dosed with aspirin and the water pill. I think water had displaced the innards and bone cavity containers enough that they have to... work back into place. It's not a comfortable thing. That isn't what has kept me from work, mind you. I simply have been exhausted. I spent my allowance for two months for that nearly two week drive to, stay, and return from camp. I cooked more than I usually do in a month alone. As I have said, I run on rechargeable batteries that are on the edge of being junk. The thing is, in a human type, you can't just replace them as you would in a tool or toy. That spells death, or puts a very distinct date on the thing at the very least. My batteries work fine, once charged. It is the recharge rate that is defunct. And I certainly discharged my batteries.
The recent post I wrote, considering conservativism and whether I still belonged was actually written for a new blog for which I am merely a guest writer. Alexandria is the name of it. If you know anything about the city from which that arrives, and a specific era of it, you know part of the draw. But too, I wanted to do something... more formal. And, yes, I am still known as Doom there. So I haven't gone all mainstream on you. Then again, I was assured that would not be required. And I assured them that it would not happen. So long as we were clear on things. Three posts a month, after my first. I will probably usually post them here first. Transferring them over seemed to go very smoothly. I've not worked with WordPress before, so... it's new. Thing is, many of the fixes for blogspot I actually found in WordPress advice columns, oddly, and translated, so I have some working knowledge. So, if you want to see Doom nearly at work, and his new place of vocational avocation, stop in and comment at Alexandria, or not. It is weird. It is almost like working from home. I like that.
Nothing was done yesterday. I am still pushing for things to happen though. I feel like a shark stuck in a cage. Work is a form of food, and it is 'right 'chere', I just... can't... get through that cage! I will keep trying. If I get neck strain from trying to force it I will simply take another aspirin! Ugh! Oh, and while I haven't found the cord yet, I checked my phone this morning. It did turn on, but was nearly dead. I was able to at least call my mother and let her know I was home, safe, and well. She was happy to hear but didn't seem too worried, if she was at work. I had to tell her three times, though, not to call tonight because my phone... well... is in the same shape I am... nearly dead. And it is recharging about as fast as I am. :p
Later.
Monday, September 9, 2013
Haiku Monday - Anticipation
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.
Amanda is up with her rules and the theme more fully filled out here. It has been a bit, I am tired, I am sore, so I am slightly off my game. Still, I dived right in with a couple of milquetoast poems just to start the thing. Oh, right, here yea be.
Okay, so I have a quirky sense of things today. It may be plainly obvious, but just a heads up.
Uhm, yea, even still in a bit of a funky mood. *zip*
.
Amanda is up with her rules and the theme more fully filled out here. It has been a bit, I am tired, I am sore, so I am slightly off my game. Still, I dived right in with a couple of milquetoast poems just to start the thing. Oh, right, here yea be.
Okay, so I have a quirky sense of things today. It may be plainly obvious, but just a heads up.
Uhm, yea, even still in a bit of a funky mood. *zip*
first in line, me next
go ahead of me, I grant-
I am still up next!
go ahead of me, I grant-
I am still up next!
-----------
whispers of promise
of doom or delight, trifling-
magic moments of weight
of doom or delight, trifling-
magic moments of weight
-----------
Am I Still a Conservative?!?
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.
On a recent outing with a friend, in what would have probably been considered hostile territory, I admitted to being conservative. It just came out, it's sort of just how I do things. If I don't always like the way I do things, given afterthought. As it turned out, that wasn't considered a faux pas. Not that I would have minded. That isn't what bothers me about my approach. We went on to have a fine conversation. Essentially I ended up speaking with a couple of liberals who had come at least to left libertarianism. We ended not getting into great detail, but did find a huge reservoir of commonality. The thing is, after discussing the events with my friend, a bit of a minor dustup occurred regarding conservativism, what it means, and whether to use it. Uhrm, he thinks I am unnecessarily... blunt, as well.
Blunt as a sledge hammer, and at speed, I assured. Not the point however, that usually works out, leaving no ice to be chewed through. Still, beyond defining conservativism I had to decided whether to continue using the word or whether, simply mechanically, politically, technically, I am no longer conservative. Was my friend correct? Hold those horses. Definitions, for my use, as I understand them, have to be hammered into relief. I may no longer be a Republican but have I stopped being a conservative?
The notion of what a conservative is has, to a degree, just as the term liberal, been hijacked by people with bad intentions. This goes without saying. Much of the common terminology has to be outright rejected. Conservatives are not troglodytes, pining away for the 1920's, the 1800's, or some mythical place or time. Not this one and none I have met and spoken with. For me it means not only holding, but keeping, a couple of ideas, writings, pro- and pre-scriptions as law and civil and social norms.
The Constitution, the bible and Christian faith more generally, and notions of what are right and wrong that come from these things are what make me a conservative. The belief in one man and woman in marriage, that crimes should receive just punishments, the idea that there is clearly a right and wrong, good and bad, way to do things, live, and interact with others. This should be impressed upon the young by their parents first, the Church next, and then maybe a bit in their education if I do tend to favor home schooling even over private schooling but certainly over public schooling, so making the notion much more manageable. Not a nod to libertarianism really, just tradition for the last ten thousand years, save for one, later, era of Rome and modern industrialized nations. Clearly I am not harkening back to some mythical time-place, merely an idealism that was the basis for modernized nations. So, yeah, I am still a conservative with some libertarian leanings, if I think libertarians have simply picked up some of what mainstream conservatives have dropped, such as home schooling.
I have had it suggested that my notions require too much will, too much power in certain hands, too much pressure, not enough freedom. While I will agree it does take a concerted effort by the government, the family, and the Church, I believe we are seeing what happens "if not". Spare the rod, spoil the child. We have many spoiled children, of adult anatomy, wreaking havoc on our cities, our economy, our judicial system, our educational systems, and anywhere and everywhere they have gained a foothold. As the left likes to say, from top to bottom and from bottom to top. With the greatest number of incarcerated people of any nation (Russia is next with 577 per 100,000) and the greatest number of federal, state, local, and other laws we have ever had to deal with, we are getting it from both ends. It does take will, energy... backbone. The answer to why is a blind walk through almost any city or an attempt to do a new activity or start a business. We either choose to be moral and reap the rewards or we go the feral path and, well... Look around. Only moral people can be their own government. Immoral and amoral will have to be subdued. As to the power aspect though, ask where that power is currently residing. To my mind, it is in far worse hands than in the hands of social and civil leadership, when it is offered them by the people. Politicians, at all levels, should really only be a last resource when all local, down to the individual, efforts prove unsuccessful, not the default source of problem solving.
Yes, I do think that keeps me handily in the conservative column. Many of the libertarian things, as I said, are simply things neo-conservatives, such as Republicans, have... relinquished. Oh, and I do not believe being a Republican makes you a conservative. As I see it, at this point, Republicans are merely socialists but of the big business sort rather than little guy type, corporatists rather than direct socialists, if there is a proper word for it. However, this does make it quite simple to work with, and even for libertarian causes. Yes, life is that simple for me.
.
On a recent outing with a friend, in what would have probably been considered hostile territory, I admitted to being conservative. It just came out, it's sort of just how I do things. If I don't always like the way I do things, given afterthought. As it turned out, that wasn't considered a faux pas. Not that I would have minded. That isn't what bothers me about my approach. We went on to have a fine conversation. Essentially I ended up speaking with a couple of liberals who had come at least to left libertarianism. We ended not getting into great detail, but did find a huge reservoir of commonality. The thing is, after discussing the events with my friend, a bit of a minor dustup occurred regarding conservativism, what it means, and whether to use it. Uhrm, he thinks I am unnecessarily... blunt, as well.
Blunt as a sledge hammer, and at speed, I assured. Not the point however, that usually works out, leaving no ice to be chewed through. Still, beyond defining conservativism I had to decided whether to continue using the word or whether, simply mechanically, politically, technically, I am no longer conservative. Was my friend correct? Hold those horses. Definitions, for my use, as I understand them, have to be hammered into relief. I may no longer be a Republican but have I stopped being a conservative?
The notion of what a conservative is has, to a degree, just as the term liberal, been hijacked by people with bad intentions. This goes without saying. Much of the common terminology has to be outright rejected. Conservatives are not troglodytes, pining away for the 1920's, the 1800's, or some mythical place or time. Not this one and none I have met and spoken with. For me it means not only holding, but keeping, a couple of ideas, writings, pro- and pre-scriptions as law and civil and social norms.
The Constitution, the bible and Christian faith more generally, and notions of what are right and wrong that come from these things are what make me a conservative. The belief in one man and woman in marriage, that crimes should receive just punishments, the idea that there is clearly a right and wrong, good and bad, way to do things, live, and interact with others. This should be impressed upon the young by their parents first, the Church next, and then maybe a bit in their education if I do tend to favor home schooling even over private schooling but certainly over public schooling, so making the notion much more manageable. Not a nod to libertarianism really, just tradition for the last ten thousand years, save for one, later, era of Rome and modern industrialized nations. Clearly I am not harkening back to some mythical time-place, merely an idealism that was the basis for modernized nations. So, yeah, I am still a conservative with some libertarian leanings, if I think libertarians have simply picked up some of what mainstream conservatives have dropped, such as home schooling.
I have had it suggested that my notions require too much will, too much power in certain hands, too much pressure, not enough freedom. While I will agree it does take a concerted effort by the government, the family, and the Church, I believe we are seeing what happens "if not". Spare the rod, spoil the child. We have many spoiled children, of adult anatomy, wreaking havoc on our cities, our economy, our judicial system, our educational systems, and anywhere and everywhere they have gained a foothold. As the left likes to say, from top to bottom and from bottom to top. With the greatest number of incarcerated people of any nation (Russia is next with 577 per 100,000) and the greatest number of federal, state, local, and other laws we have ever had to deal with, we are getting it from both ends. It does take will, energy... backbone. The answer to why is a blind walk through almost any city or an attempt to do a new activity or start a business. We either choose to be moral and reap the rewards or we go the feral path and, well... Look around. Only moral people can be their own government. Immoral and amoral will have to be subdued. As to the power aspect though, ask where that power is currently residing. To my mind, it is in far worse hands than in the hands of social and civil leadership, when it is offered them by the people. Politicians, at all levels, should really only be a last resource when all local, down to the individual, efforts prove unsuccessful, not the default source of problem solving.
Yes, I do think that keeps me handily in the conservative column. Many of the libertarian things, as I said, are simply things neo-conservatives, such as Republicans, have... relinquished. Oh, and I do not believe being a Republican makes you a conservative. As I see it, at this point, Republicans are merely socialists but of the big business sort rather than little guy type, corporatists rather than direct socialists, if there is a proper word for it. However, this does make it quite simple to work with, and even for libertarian causes. Yes, life is that simple for me.
Sleep has been generous.
.
.
I am sleeping a bit long, and hard. Lights out means what it suggests. Aspirin and the water pill will get me to things much quicker than trying to load the whole medicine cabinet into my gullet up front. I didn't get to more that what I wrote I did. What I wanted to do did not happen. I was stubbornly stuck on where to put the things from the rack pack. I have figured that out so I should, as soon as I think I have the fortitude, be able to get that done quickly. I am hoping, once I open up Pandora's box, I will continue with the rest of the cargo, or some large chunk of it which will lead more quickly to the rest of it if I don't do it all at once. If nothing else, bringing the boxes and such in, setting them around where I can easily sort through them, will be enough.
My ribs seem to be feeling slightly better, as are my shoulders and the rest. I am simply still rather wrung out. The trip, from start to finish, took everything I had and a loan from the future. It isn't a full exhaustion. I can still think, a bit. I can still manage minor things. I am still mostly doing a good long decent day awake and just nights for sleeping if my sleep cycles seem a little longer than the eight hours I have been seeing most recently pre-trip.
I do have drive though. While it isn't getting me anywhere, right at this point, it is apparent to me. Getting unpacked, unloading and sorting and cleaning then storing all that is unpacked, and then tearing into my home to get it sparkly clean all over. These things are driving forces, I have a strong hunger. I just don't immediately have the resources or reserves to draw upon. It will be a bit of untangling to get one thing to lead to another. It is just the way it is.
The fire from the desert is fading. That alone is almost like some drug, to me. My mind soared and raced. Even my flesh was much more animated, if not in a particularly helpful... actually I think it was helpful. While I certainly wasn't as active as most there, certainly not as active as Desert Cat, without that heat creating discomfort which wouldn't let me rest I would have done much less and had even a greater difficulty doing my part for the camp let alone getting out the eight or nine times I did. It just isn't sustainable.
For breakfast a couple of pork chops, thick cut. I am hoping that breakfast, plus a supper coming in, will see me to... action, and sooner rather than later. That, the aspirin, and the water pill... short term but... I will have to push to not simply crash. To get more beyond that is the trick. Ugh... Almost stuck. Ever almost had your vehicle get stuck in mud or snow, had to baby it out? That is where I am physically. Later.
.
I am sleeping a bit long, and hard. Lights out means what it suggests. Aspirin and the water pill will get me to things much quicker than trying to load the whole medicine cabinet into my gullet up front. I didn't get to more that what I wrote I did. What I wanted to do did not happen. I was stubbornly stuck on where to put the things from the rack pack. I have figured that out so I should, as soon as I think I have the fortitude, be able to get that done quickly. I am hoping, once I open up Pandora's box, I will continue with the rest of the cargo, or some large chunk of it which will lead more quickly to the rest of it if I don't do it all at once. If nothing else, bringing the boxes and such in, setting them around where I can easily sort through them, will be enough.
My ribs seem to be feeling slightly better, as are my shoulders and the rest. I am simply still rather wrung out. The trip, from start to finish, took everything I had and a loan from the future. It isn't a full exhaustion. I can still think, a bit. I can still manage minor things. I am still mostly doing a good long decent day awake and just nights for sleeping if my sleep cycles seem a little longer than the eight hours I have been seeing most recently pre-trip.
I do have drive though. While it isn't getting me anywhere, right at this point, it is apparent to me. Getting unpacked, unloading and sorting and cleaning then storing all that is unpacked, and then tearing into my home to get it sparkly clean all over. These things are driving forces, I have a strong hunger. I just don't immediately have the resources or reserves to draw upon. It will be a bit of untangling to get one thing to lead to another. It is just the way it is.
The fire from the desert is fading. That alone is almost like some drug, to me. My mind soared and raced. Even my flesh was much more animated, if not in a particularly helpful... actually I think it was helpful. While I certainly wasn't as active as most there, certainly not as active as Desert Cat, without that heat creating discomfort which wouldn't let me rest I would have done much less and had even a greater difficulty doing my part for the camp let alone getting out the eight or nine times I did. It just isn't sustainable.
For breakfast a couple of pork chops, thick cut. I am hoping that breakfast, plus a supper coming in, will see me to... action, and sooner rather than later. That, the aspirin, and the water pill... short term but... I will have to push to not simply crash. To get more beyond that is the trick. Ugh... Almost stuck. Ever almost had your vehicle get stuck in mud or snow, had to baby it out? That is where I am physically. Later.
Sunday, September 8, 2013
Feeling better.
.
.
A few aspirin have helped. I washed a few dishes then took a shower. Just in time. I had visitors, inviting me to a father/son event, though open to men in the community, in a couple of weeks. I went last year but didn't stay over. This time I might stay the night. I have what I need. A short time later supper arrived, so I got that down, and needed it. I am hoping to get to unloading at least the roof rack pack tonight, though maybe more. I need to find my phone charger and see if I put the camera computer connection cord in there somewhere.
I will take the aspirin as needed, but I do believe I am ready to begin digging in. Further I have decided to try to rip through the man-cave and get it into tip-top shape. I don't know, but after the burn out there I feel like I am willing to really take a risk and push a little farther, a little harder, sooner or later, and get my ship back into shape. I probably can't sprint, or often, like I had to do to get going on this trip. And it may all fall apart fairly quickly. But until it does I am going to keep coasting. Perhaps I am well enough that I can do more, more often.
So much to try to put in order though. And I am just a bit out of sorts. One thing at a time. Having some cool again has helped. But having things back in order will help even more.
If I have seemed offensive, be at ease. The desert does things to you. Beyond seeing the past, darknesses from that, and scrambling to survive, the heat stays with you. I can't really describe it. Wilderness living, if you have experienced that, would be a hint. But add in that it is only (to me anyway) cool for a few hours, through in that heat rips me up, and you begin to understand. The dry part was my friend, the alkali was neutral, the sand wasn't so bad this year. Temptations were more easily dismissed than what I thought. And I was, mostly, coherent and sociable when I could be. I don't think I even got grumpy, save regarding when to leave, at the end of the week. I still have a bit of that fire, a bit of the mind trip the heat takes one on, and that bite gets passed through my writing... if quite inadvertently.
Hmm, yeah, another few aspirin, a bit to let that work, then on to the Xt'er, while it is dark... cool. Later, unless I get into work and then do that until bedtime.
.
A few aspirin have helped. I washed a few dishes then took a shower. Just in time. I had visitors, inviting me to a father/son event, though open to men in the community, in a couple of weeks. I went last year but didn't stay over. This time I might stay the night. I have what I need. A short time later supper arrived, so I got that down, and needed it. I am hoping to get to unloading at least the roof rack pack tonight, though maybe more. I need to find my phone charger and see if I put the camera computer connection cord in there somewhere.
I will take the aspirin as needed, but I do believe I am ready to begin digging in. Further I have decided to try to rip through the man-cave and get it into tip-top shape. I don't know, but after the burn out there I feel like I am willing to really take a risk and push a little farther, a little harder, sooner or later, and get my ship back into shape. I probably can't sprint, or often, like I had to do to get going on this trip. And it may all fall apart fairly quickly. But until it does I am going to keep coasting. Perhaps I am well enough that I can do more, more often.
So much to try to put in order though. And I am just a bit out of sorts. One thing at a time. Having some cool again has helped. But having things back in order will help even more.
If I have seemed offensive, be at ease. The desert does things to you. Beyond seeing the past, darknesses from that, and scrambling to survive, the heat stays with you. I can't really describe it. Wilderness living, if you have experienced that, would be a hint. But add in that it is only (to me anyway) cool for a few hours, through in that heat rips me up, and you begin to understand. The dry part was my friend, the alkali was neutral, the sand wasn't so bad this year. Temptations were more easily dismissed than what I thought. And I was, mostly, coherent and sociable when I could be. I don't think I even got grumpy, save regarding when to leave, at the end of the week. I still have a bit of that fire, a bit of the mind trip the heat takes one on, and that bite gets passed through my writing... if quite inadvertently.
Hmm, yeah, another few aspirin, a bit to let that work, then on to the Xt'er, while it is dark... cool. Later, unless I get into work and then do that until bedtime.
Hmm, something is still really off.
.
.
I can't be sure what is wrong. I don't think it is my actual organs. That has a different feel. It honestly feels like muscle, connective tissue, and around the ribs, that is tender. My shoulder blades also have some pain to them, as well as my triceps (but not my biceps oddly) and my shoulders. It feels more like a strain, but I did nothing special that would have caused strain to this level of afterpain. It is somewhat debilitating. The water pill may have released some pressure in the rib area, but doesn't affect the other areas. I am also gimping hard generally.
I may just have to give up on being fully healed before just tearing into things. Although I do believe I will unpack rather gently. With no real time constraints I can do things in short shifts, so long as I keep up the pace to a degree. I believe I will begin insulin again, at a lower but elevated dose and continue the water pills. As I unpack and get to things I will then begin lower doses of my regular medicine for about a week and work my way up to full speed. I have to be careful to not really start that until I am fully unpacked and somewhat set here at home or I could go down for a week to several months. Ugh...
I did set out some meat and a container of frozen lentils so as to have some food easily on hand.
It has been cloudy and raining off and on which makes it generally cooler. I did need that. I will do dishes in a bit, then get in a shower, then see what I can get done regarding unpacking. Whether lying down or sitting, I am in just a bit of discomfort. Hmm, maybe a handful of aspirin will help. My good stuff is somewhere in the packed gear so just plain aspirin will have to do. Deep breaths hurt the ribs, just a bit. Ginger, they are, to be sure. Yes, aspirin, an hour or two to let them begin working, then on to stuff. Later.
.
I can't be sure what is wrong. I don't think it is my actual organs. That has a different feel. It honestly feels like muscle, connective tissue, and around the ribs, that is tender. My shoulder blades also have some pain to them, as well as my triceps (but not my biceps oddly) and my shoulders. It feels more like a strain, but I did nothing special that would have caused strain to this level of afterpain. It is somewhat debilitating. The water pill may have released some pressure in the rib area, but doesn't affect the other areas. I am also gimping hard generally.
I may just have to give up on being fully healed before just tearing into things. Although I do believe I will unpack rather gently. With no real time constraints I can do things in short shifts, so long as I keep up the pace to a degree. I believe I will begin insulin again, at a lower but elevated dose and continue the water pills. As I unpack and get to things I will then begin lower doses of my regular medicine for about a week and work my way up to full speed. I have to be careful to not really start that until I am fully unpacked and somewhat set here at home or I could go down for a week to several months. Ugh...
I did set out some meat and a container of frozen lentils so as to have some food easily on hand.
It has been cloudy and raining off and on which makes it generally cooler. I did need that. I will do dishes in a bit, then get in a shower, then see what I can get done regarding unpacking. Whether lying down or sitting, I am in just a bit of discomfort. Hmm, maybe a handful of aspirin will help. My good stuff is somewhere in the packed gear so just plain aspirin will have to do. Deep breaths hurt the ribs, just a bit. Ginger, they are, to be sure. Yes, aspirin, an hour or two to let them begin working, then on to stuff. Later.
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