.
.
What is life without fear? Small doses are affective. Too effective?
I have been watering the lawn. Simply put, it needs it. City water will go way up, I have no choice. The side lawn needs it least. The problem with the front and back lawn is they get the sun so long that both watering times are limited and they get so sunblasted. I suspect those with green lawns have ag water shares.
It is about time to hit the dishes, and open the cave up. It is 72° out there, was an half hour ago. It is 76° main, 78° front, probably due to me leaving the door open. Ach!
Ah, as to fear? My blood sugar is 76 after a few hours. That is right on the border, and I am about to hit the dishes... heavy work, for me. I am going to go without a carb pill, see where it is in an hour, and how I feel. A slide from either, in the singular, and I will drop a tab. Just one. I suppose I could eat, but I want to see what a single tab does. And I am attempting to keep to intermittent fasting.
A bit spooky. It is right in noman's land. A quick jerk negative could see me to a coma, even death. Want to see my limits and ability to ride them. It is how I was created. Know your limits? Fine. But how can you know them if you don't test them? I am beginning to know my limits. Wish me luck?
Next time I will halve the dose. If there is a next time. Later.
-------------
All good. Blood sugar is up to 82 but enough, especially after work. Dishes done. Dried but air drying as a finishing. A shower after a break. There is no way I will get to curtains. Too late, too hot, too tired. A shower, maybe. Probably. Too cool off as much as to bath. I have sweated profusely today.
While I didn't do everything planned, I don't think that was possible, with or without the visitation. And anyway, I would have preferred the visit. Work will always be here. Not so the young ones. They... fly. And there is a biblical likeness, for the better among them. Gone so fast, justified to tarry a bit.
I will shower, then air dry. Not rudely, then test blood sugar one last time.
--------------
Blood sugar at 89 is up and still good. The average is 119. Not sure just how good, "normal", or such, that is though? I feel at ease going on to bed. It is still really warm, it just isn't cooling off. A shower was nice, but I really need to finish the curtains and get ac going. Of course, not tonight. I didn't put the last of the dishes in. I want a shower in the morning. While it is Sunday, will be, I need to get curtains and ac installed. Choking on this heat. So, tomorrow, if able, that will be done. And my floor bed will be arranged. Oh, and yes, I burned pretty bad. Sun burned. Sleep will be tricky. Good night.
Saturday, July 13, 2019
Hot!
.
.
Partly my bad. I had a visitor. Can't invite people in, the place is still uncivil. Should have invited him to chairs and shade in the back yard. Instead, like a fool as host and self, I just talked out in the sun. Ten to one I will burn, have burned, for that. Although, I must admit, I have become less sensitive to the sun. But it does wear me out, sun and heat, doubly both, quad more like.
So, yeah. I wasn't exactly getting anywhere anyway. Next time a shade talk, and water. I should drink out there. I enjoy discussions, I am not anti-social as some suspect. It is good to talk. With men, with women, sometimes mixed. If I knew where to go, I might get out more. Now that I am a shorthair... maybe I could start looking?
Exhausted from crisping, if I can work it will be later. I may reset the rinse, as the water needs to be hot enough to dry well, but not too hot to touch. It is room temp and that just won't do. Dishes and curtains? Maybe. A cool shower after dishes might help. I would sure like to get it all done.
It wasn't all that hot today but it isn't cooling well or quickly at night. And I left the front door open, like a fool, for a part of the chat. That certainly didn't help, if it wasn't the majority of the problem. AC upstairs, fans downstairs, and curtains all around, should help. If nothing else, a reading time in the ac upstairs when, if, it gets to me.
Blood sugar was 125 at noon, same at nearly 16:00. I just ate, after the more recent reading. I took 6 cc's. Just... a trial. Not sure if smaller doses will do anything, or too much. Not every time, but a bit with food, once a day... an attempt at keeping it from jumping. Too much effect? Back it down. I have become half decent at spitballing it fairly well, and correcting it when it goes wild. The greater the risks the greater the rewards, and I have proven to handle the costs... as high of prices as a man can pay.
Ugh. Too get the dishes reset, then done. Then it's a shower, and curtains for me!
.
Partly my bad. I had a visitor. Can't invite people in, the place is still uncivil. Should have invited him to chairs and shade in the back yard. Instead, like a fool as host and self, I just talked out in the sun. Ten to one I will burn, have burned, for that. Although, I must admit, I have become less sensitive to the sun. But it does wear me out, sun and heat, doubly both, quad more like.
So, yeah. I wasn't exactly getting anywhere anyway. Next time a shade talk, and water. I should drink out there. I enjoy discussions, I am not anti-social as some suspect. It is good to talk. With men, with women, sometimes mixed. If I knew where to go, I might get out more. Now that I am a shorthair... maybe I could start looking?
Exhausted from crisping, if I can work it will be later. I may reset the rinse, as the water needs to be hot enough to dry well, but not too hot to touch. It is room temp and that just won't do. Dishes and curtains? Maybe. A cool shower after dishes might help. I would sure like to get it all done.
It wasn't all that hot today but it isn't cooling well or quickly at night. And I left the front door open, like a fool, for a part of the chat. That certainly didn't help, if it wasn't the majority of the problem. AC upstairs, fans downstairs, and curtains all around, should help. If nothing else, a reading time in the ac upstairs when, if, it gets to me.
Blood sugar was 125 at noon, same at nearly 16:00. I just ate, after the more recent reading. I took 6 cc's. Just... a trial. Not sure if smaller doses will do anything, or too much. Not every time, but a bit with food, once a day... an attempt at keeping it from jumping. Too much effect? Back it down. I have become half decent at spitballing it fairly well, and correcting it when it goes wild. The greater the risks the greater the rewards, and I have proven to handle the costs... as high of prices as a man can pay.
Ugh. Too get the dishes reset, then done. Then it's a shower, and curtains for me!
Still so tired.
.
.
Given all, I have been pushing this week. I want to do a few more things today, then take a few days off. I am hoping to finish dishes, all of them. As well, putting up the curtains and sheer rods. Nothing fancy but actually more work than it sounds. It will be hard on the back. It will take all the vapors I am running on and into energy debt. Then I get a few days down. As well earned as I can do.
Up at 8:30. Overcast, thankfully. Not all that much cooler for it, but not heating up as fast. I opened everything, including upstairs for the first time. It got to 68° in the eastern front room and 72° in the main house. My bedroom was 73°, but I heat small rooms. I shut everything down right after waking. If the sun breaks through it will get hot in a hurry.
A blood sugar reading of 99 fasting. A bit of a gimmick, with three days of fasting behind it, occasional insulin use, keto, intermittent fasting... everything I am throwing at it, just to get a normal reading. With chia, flax, and hazel and walnuts as breakfast, and chicken or chops for lunch, I can hope to keep the reading low. Oddly, I was staying 'regular' while fasting.
I did not want to wake. I skipped the six alarm setup, knew that wouldn't work. Hoped to get up right at eight. Nope. Took four snooze bars and change? Yes, one at eight and another every ten minutes until 8:30. As to the change, I hadn't turned the alarm off, only hit the snooze bar the last time, so it went of a final time. Sam gets in on the action now. She actively works with the alarm! Ugh. She must think we are married.
A bit of waking time, up to two hours, then the dishes. The first load. A break, a shower, remaining dishes in, then either another break or on to a start with the curtains. Then after curtains, finishing dishes. As a possible finally, putting an ac unit upstairs and setting up a bed on the floor up there. I bought a rug just for that, the rest I already had. Later.
.
Given all, I have been pushing this week. I want to do a few more things today, then take a few days off. I am hoping to finish dishes, all of them. As well, putting up the curtains and sheer rods. Nothing fancy but actually more work than it sounds. It will be hard on the back. It will take all the vapors I am running on and into energy debt. Then I get a few days down. As well earned as I can do.
Up at 8:30. Overcast, thankfully. Not all that much cooler for it, but not heating up as fast. I opened everything, including upstairs for the first time. It got to 68° in the eastern front room and 72° in the main house. My bedroom was 73°, but I heat small rooms. I shut everything down right after waking. If the sun breaks through it will get hot in a hurry.
A blood sugar reading of 99 fasting. A bit of a gimmick, with three days of fasting behind it, occasional insulin use, keto, intermittent fasting... everything I am throwing at it, just to get a normal reading. With chia, flax, and hazel and walnuts as breakfast, and chicken or chops for lunch, I can hope to keep the reading low. Oddly, I was staying 'regular' while fasting.
I did not want to wake. I skipped the six alarm setup, knew that wouldn't work. Hoped to get up right at eight. Nope. Took four snooze bars and change? Yes, one at eight and another every ten minutes until 8:30. As to the change, I hadn't turned the alarm off, only hit the snooze bar the last time, so it went of a final time. Sam gets in on the action now. She actively works with the alarm! Ugh. She must think we are married.
A bit of waking time, up to two hours, then the dishes. The first load. A break, a shower, remaining dishes in, then either another break or on to a start with the curtains. Then after curtains, finishing dishes. As a possible finally, putting an ac unit upstairs and setting up a bed on the floor up there. I bought a rug just for that, the rest I already had. Later.
Friday, July 12, 2019
Not to bed yet.
.
.
I wanted to water the yard. Besides, it was too early to open up. It looks like staying awake until it is cool enough is the way of things. If I am able. AC upstairs, and curtains, are backup. The goal is to cool the cave as much as possible without ac. I do suspect central air would be more efficient. It is just beyond my reach.
A part of the front yard was in shade. It got hit first. Now the whole front yard is shaded. I moved the first sprinkler and started the other. In an hour the front sprinkler that hit two areas will be moved and turned off, the other will be moved and run at a new angle, and the back yard will be hit. I can only definitely use two sprinklers at once. But I have a plan.
At 20:00 it is still 82° F out there. Beats 96°, but is still exhausting to be out in.
The final blood sugar is 94 for the last fasting read. BP is 141/98 at a 77 pulse. I have been working. Medicine has been regular. Sleep is reasonable. I don't get the bp. Usually, everything I am doing cracks it. Medicine, sleep, blood sugar control, and more so fasting. It should be twenty points lower, both numbers.
I have chia ready for in the morning. I may set tea up for a fast start. Then back on track with alternating intermittent fasting. It sure makes fasting easier, if I am not losing weight. Odd that. Then again, weight loss was a hoped by-product, not the goal. The aim was blood sugar control, and it is working. Still, watching calories, with between a twenty and forty percent reduction, at least, while being much more active?
Don't worry, do your best. Then again, why bother. It's not like there is a woman out there, available. Not sure it makes all that much difference at my age anyway.
The last post, probably. I have another hour or two of watering, but good night.
.
I wanted to water the yard. Besides, it was too early to open up. It looks like staying awake until it is cool enough is the way of things. If I am able. AC upstairs, and curtains, are backup. The goal is to cool the cave as much as possible without ac. I do suspect central air would be more efficient. It is just beyond my reach.
A part of the front yard was in shade. It got hit first. Now the whole front yard is shaded. I moved the first sprinkler and started the other. In an hour the front sprinkler that hit two areas will be moved and turned off, the other will be moved and run at a new angle, and the back yard will be hit. I can only definitely use two sprinklers at once. But I have a plan.
At 20:00 it is still 82° F out there. Beats 96°, but is still exhausting to be out in.
The final blood sugar is 94 for the last fasting read. BP is 141/98 at a 77 pulse. I have been working. Medicine has been regular. Sleep is reasonable. I don't get the bp. Usually, everything I am doing cracks it. Medicine, sleep, blood sugar control, and more so fasting. It should be twenty points lower, both numbers.
I have chia ready for in the morning. I may set tea up for a fast start. Then back on track with alternating intermittent fasting. It sure makes fasting easier, if I am not losing weight. Odd that. Then again, weight loss was a hoped by-product, not the goal. The aim was blood sugar control, and it is working. Still, watching calories, with between a twenty and forty percent reduction, at least, while being much more active?
Don't worry, do your best. Then again, why bother. It's not like there is a woman out there, available. Not sure it makes all that much difference at my age anyway.
The last post, probably. I have another hour or two of watering, but good night.
So very hot.
.
.
My newfound tolerance to heat has powerful limits. After dressing for cool, and a bit of time at 74, I felt much better. So a stroll around outside seemed good. Not good, not good at all. It is 96° F out there. It went up a few degrees since I returned. Just that short stroll about pounded me into the dirt.
Blood sugar is 103 after cooling and two, nearing three days of fasting. I can't ask for better. I will actually set up chia pudding for the morning. I thawed meat for the week. But I will mostly be eating light. Finances are tricky. Cabbage for coleslaw, more salad and chia, beyond less expensive, cooler to prep and eat.
After cooling down, a nap didn't seem necessary. After the trip outdoors, maybe so. No more work today. However, curtains, dishes, and an acc upstairs and installed? And food. Food! Good golly, going without really adds to flavor. Perhaps a load of laundry and setting up a summer bedroom while at it?
Good night. I do believe.
.
My newfound tolerance to heat has powerful limits. After dressing for cool, and a bit of time at 74, I felt much better. So a stroll around outside seemed good. Not good, not good at all. It is 96° F out there. It went up a few degrees since I returned. Just that short stroll about pounded me into the dirt.
Blood sugar is 103 after cooling and two, nearing three days of fasting. I can't ask for better. I will actually set up chia pudding for the morning. I thawed meat for the week. But I will mostly be eating light. Finances are tricky. Cabbage for coleslaw, more salad and chia, beyond less expensive, cooler to prep and eat.
After cooling down, a nap didn't seem necessary. After the trip outdoors, maybe so. No more work today. However, curtains, dishes, and an acc upstairs and installed? And food. Food! Good golly, going without really adds to flavor. Perhaps a load of laundry and setting up a summer bedroom while at it?
Good night. I do believe.
Hello?
.
.
Someone is ringing the doorbell. No? No. But my doorbell has been rung.
All dishes, the ones in the tub, were at least washed. The smaller lot was also dried, some of it put up. Then a shower, and the big load was put back to a rinse. Then to the post office. I returned home, but decided to go on to town rather than messing about.
A shorter cut, first thing. I forgot a hat, and the hair looked bad. I just let her do the cutting. Better, though my hair may not be right for flattops. Will give it a chance, a few more cuts. It is vastly cooler. I get almost as hard of looks with a flattop as I did as a long hair. The difference is, wearing a flattop? A fuck I could give.
Then to Wallies. Enough rods and smaller bars for the rest of the curtains and sheers. I am not sure I have enough sheers to go around, but this is a start. Cat food, cat litter, a few muscle shirts, a few summer hats. Enough for the summer, and a few months of pet care.
A bit of cash on the way through town. My grocery store is closed. Came as a shock. That store has gone through many names, four, five, hands since I moved here ten to twelve years ago. Surprised to see it go. Oddly sad. I knew the workers. I was too tired and shocked to go anywhere else. Home.
Everything is in. But I feel like a bug that just found a windshield, at 60. I wasn't going sixty, at first. That heat is brutal. Had to, for the haircut. May try shopping later from now on. Not a bad day. A nap? Work later? If I can cool enough to nap. Or I am done for the day. It is the last day for fasting. Blood sugar is 121 at 13:30. Later.
.
Someone is ringing the doorbell. No? No. But my doorbell has been rung.
All dishes, the ones in the tub, were at least washed. The smaller lot was also dried, some of it put up. Then a shower, and the big load was put back to a rinse. Then to the post office. I returned home, but decided to go on to town rather than messing about.
A shorter cut, first thing. I forgot a hat, and the hair looked bad. I just let her do the cutting. Better, though my hair may not be right for flattops. Will give it a chance, a few more cuts. It is vastly cooler. I get almost as hard of looks with a flattop as I did as a long hair. The difference is, wearing a flattop? A fuck I could give.
Then to Wallies. Enough rods and smaller bars for the rest of the curtains and sheers. I am not sure I have enough sheers to go around, but this is a start. Cat food, cat litter, a few muscle shirts, a few summer hats. Enough for the summer, and a few months of pet care.
A bit of cash on the way through town. My grocery store is closed. Came as a shock. That store has gone through many names, four, five, hands since I moved here ten to twelve years ago. Surprised to see it go. Oddly sad. I knew the workers. I was too tired and shocked to go anywhere else. Home.
Everything is in. But I feel like a bug that just found a windshield, at 60. I wasn't going sixty, at first. That heat is brutal. Had to, for the haircut. May try shopping later from now on. Not a bad day. A nap? Work later? If I can cool enough to nap. Or I am done for the day. It is the last day for fasting. Blood sugar is 121 at 13:30. Later.
Crashed so hard.
.
.
Couldn't sleep until midnight for no good reason aware to my knowledge. Slept so hard, though, that I woke in a special agony some short bit after five. I hadn't rolled all night. One half of my body was asleep. The other half was envious. Fifteen minutes of sorting out 280 pounds of almost human horseflesh and I surprised myself by being able to go back to sleep.
I didn't wake until a bit after alarms had all wrung me through and past them. Could not wake! It was dreadful. Hurt as I wake. Sleep had dulled all the various aches and pains. Probably still does, until my neuro pharmacy gets tired of trying to sort out all the inputs and just kicks out numbing agent... 309? *grins* That would require a she, unless my bod is just telling me to go .... myself? It could happen.
Fasting blood sugar is glorious. At 121 with an average of 127 life is good. Now if bp would behave. What has it been, three months since I started? And a few weeks, yes. I have had to ride diet like a boss and take risks that give my docs high blood pressure. The ride isn't over, perhaps. But I am getting there. I still need to bring fasting down to 100, but the needle is nearing that read. May take another month? Then to get rid of training wheels. Almost there, too, if that is still hit or miss. It really is as if the body has to be retrained, on right foods, and given some time for both. But, pizza! Don't I know it.
Dishes, after I wake. A shave and shower, hopefully in time for the post. Raking, if it isn't to hot. Probably already too hot. It has been a super week. I am paying for it. But it is well worth the pain. To be honest, I am not sure I can do what I suggest, but will try. Aspirin, meds, tea, and an half hour to ponder, before I try.
.
Couldn't sleep until midnight for no good reason aware to my knowledge. Slept so hard, though, that I woke in a special agony some short bit after five. I hadn't rolled all night. One half of my body was asleep. The other half was envious. Fifteen minutes of sorting out 280 pounds of almost human horseflesh and I surprised myself by being able to go back to sleep.
I didn't wake until a bit after alarms had all wrung me through and past them. Could not wake! It was dreadful. Hurt as I wake. Sleep had dulled all the various aches and pains. Probably still does, until my neuro pharmacy gets tired of trying to sort out all the inputs and just kicks out numbing agent... 309? *grins* That would require a she, unless my bod is just telling me to go .... myself? It could happen.
Fasting blood sugar is glorious. At 121 with an average of 127 life is good. Now if bp would behave. What has it been, three months since I started? And a few weeks, yes. I have had to ride diet like a boss and take risks that give my docs high blood pressure. The ride isn't over, perhaps. But I am getting there. I still need to bring fasting down to 100, but the needle is nearing that read. May take another month? Then to get rid of training wheels. Almost there, too, if that is still hit or miss. It really is as if the body has to be retrained, on right foods, and given some time for both. But, pizza! Don't I know it.
Dishes, after I wake. A shave and shower, hopefully in time for the post. Raking, if it isn't to hot. Probably already too hot. It has been a super week. I am paying for it. But it is well worth the pain. To be honest, I am not sure I can do what I suggest, but will try. Aspirin, meds, tea, and an half hour to ponder, before I try.
Thursday, July 11, 2019
Nothing extra.
.
.
I hadn't promised. Couldn't get back to anything. Blood sugar is 112 so that isn't a problem. Hmm? Fasting lag? You could be correct. I hope it is cool enough to open up for the night, so as to be to bed in just a bit. Not a bad week, even if it is finished. I think I can squeeze more out of it though.
I do believe.
Good night regardless.
.
I hadn't promised. Couldn't get back to anything. Blood sugar is 112 so that isn't a problem. Hmm? Fasting lag? You could be correct. I hope it is cool enough to open up for the night, so as to be to bed in just a bit. Not a bad week, even if it is finished. I think I can squeeze more out of it though.
I do believe.
Good night regardless.
Very good.
.
.
Not much. I did look over the lawn. I like to go out from time to time. The are was completely shaded, that had only gotten a short watering earlier, so I hit it again. Just another short bit. The ducks were out, but actually under the tarp. I suppose it was cooler than the hutch, but they had enough of the water. It was cute in some odd way.
I received a letter from Social Security. There wasn't a way to respond, but it seemed to be requiring a response. I have been meaning to get in touch, but there wasn't a means. I have a number listed for them. It took over an hour, nearly two? *shrug* It turns out the letter was... informative... for my files. Files? I can't keep my house clean, or find paperwork from a week ago. Files?
I outright asked if the real problem was that I had lived too long, perhaps I wasn't welcome in this state, or home. Perhaps pure politics. He sounded really surprised. I told him this wasn't right. They had to know the continued denial was wrong. That someone, or the whole system, was picking on me for a or several specific reasons. I know. I suppose even if he could see what the real reason is, or are, he couldn't tell me.
More watering tonight, in different spots, mostly hitting the same areas. But for only an half hour, a move to a different angle and another half hour, then done. Then a half hour every other or third day henceforth, in one of several angles. Front, part of the side, and back yard.
Blood sugar is much better, at 104 after a fatted coffee. I prefer that number to 89, but both work. One more day of fasting and then breakfast Saturday. Either eggs and salsa, or an egg casserole with salsa. Easy to digest. I have been parceling salsa to last. I won't be able to return for a family visit, and more, unless SSD returns. I can't afford the gas without it. Flying is way out.
I did trim the whiskers. I am hoping to do the dishes, so as to shower. Maybe shave too. It is 92° out there last I checked, but had been at least 94° F earlier. While, because the night wasn't as cool, ~60° last night versus ~48° the night before, the cave warmed faster, it never went above 74. That sort of surprised me. Further, I actually am a bit chilly. Have been for days. Perhaps ~74° is the new max, given stonework and curtains. I wonder if extra curtains will lower the temp or just slow the warming? Maybe both.
.
Not much. I did look over the lawn. I like to go out from time to time. The are was completely shaded, that had only gotten a short watering earlier, so I hit it again. Just another short bit. The ducks were out, but actually under the tarp. I suppose it was cooler than the hutch, but they had enough of the water. It was cute in some odd way.
I received a letter from Social Security. There wasn't a way to respond, but it seemed to be requiring a response. I have been meaning to get in touch, but there wasn't a means. I have a number listed for them. It took over an hour, nearly two? *shrug* It turns out the letter was... informative... for my files. Files? I can't keep my house clean, or find paperwork from a week ago. Files?
I outright asked if the real problem was that I had lived too long, perhaps I wasn't welcome in this state, or home. Perhaps pure politics. He sounded really surprised. I told him this wasn't right. They had to know the continued denial was wrong. That someone, or the whole system, was picking on me for a or several specific reasons. I know. I suppose even if he could see what the real reason is, or are, he couldn't tell me.
More watering tonight, in different spots, mostly hitting the same areas. But for only an half hour, a move to a different angle and another half hour, then done. Then a half hour every other or third day henceforth, in one of several angles. Front, part of the side, and back yard.
Blood sugar is much better, at 104 after a fatted coffee. I prefer that number to 89, but both work. One more day of fasting and then breakfast Saturday. Either eggs and salsa, or an egg casserole with salsa. Easy to digest. I have been parceling salsa to last. I won't be able to return for a family visit, and more, unless SSD returns. I can't afford the gas without it. Flying is way out.
I did trim the whiskers. I am hoping to do the dishes, so as to shower. Maybe shave too. It is 92° out there last I checked, but had been at least 94° F earlier. While, because the night wasn't as cool, ~60° last night versus ~48° the night before, the cave warmed faster, it never went above 74. That sort of surprised me. Further, I actually am a bit chilly. Have been for days. Perhaps ~74° is the new max, given stonework and curtains. I wonder if extra curtains will lower the temp or just slow the warming? Maybe both.
A bit.
.
.
Soon more. The watering was done in patches. I may have watered too late, into the sun. It is spotty, with tree coverage, and was slanting not full sun. Perhaps. The ducks wouldn't leave their hutch until after the first patch had been watered. Perhaps it isn't safe, or they don't think it is safe. But they sure enjoyed the second area, playing, grooming, eating.
At 11:26 it is 82°F outside, 73° indoors. It will get much hotter shortly. I suppose we are finally into the 90s, pretty much until fall. Though, who can ever quite know. It looks like watering already helped. The grass that was hit just last night is greening. Not all of it everywhere. Though even the rougher areas look a bit better, somehow.
I thought to rake, but watering was a priority. It is too hot, and wet, now. Tomorrow, perhaps. A trim first, then dishes. A break, some calls, too late to make it to the post, tomorrow... A shave later, perhaps a load of laundry. Then finish the main load of dishes. Closer. A bit of straightening later.
Blood sugar is up to 154. So, a fatted tea and 10 cc's. It's just what has to be done. While it seems like a break from fasting, it actually isn't. It makes fasting more difficult, painful. It reminds the body to be hungry. Annoying. And, yet, that is the way of it. I best get fresh tea started.
.
Soon more. The watering was done in patches. I may have watered too late, into the sun. It is spotty, with tree coverage, and was slanting not full sun. Perhaps. The ducks wouldn't leave their hutch until after the first patch had been watered. Perhaps it isn't safe, or they don't think it is safe. But they sure enjoyed the second area, playing, grooming, eating.
At 11:26 it is 82°F outside, 73° indoors. It will get much hotter shortly. I suppose we are finally into the 90s, pretty much until fall. Though, who can ever quite know. It looks like watering already helped. The grass that was hit just last night is greening. Not all of it everywhere. Though even the rougher areas look a bit better, somehow.
I thought to rake, but watering was a priority. It is too hot, and wet, now. Tomorrow, perhaps. A trim first, then dishes. A break, some calls, too late to make it to the post, tomorrow... A shave later, perhaps a load of laundry. Then finish the main load of dishes. Closer. A bit of straightening later.
Blood sugar is up to 154. So, a fatted tea and 10 cc's. It's just what has to be done. While it seems like a break from fasting, it actually isn't. It makes fasting more difficult, painful. It reminds the body to be hungry. Annoying. And, yet, that is the way of it. I best get fresh tea started.
Another major climb to wakefulness.
.
.
It started with the six alarm and two snooze bar hits before I realized that wasn't going to work. I simply turned that alarm off, making sure the eight alarm was still on. Then I fought to wake, beyond the last snooze. The alarm was spent. I reset them for tomorrow but still couldn't quite wake. I was worried, could do nothing about it.
As it ends, I was able to begin getting out of bed about five minutes later. It took two minutes to climb out of bed, a very unusual thing? I am tired. I am sore. And I am grateful for it. I am hoping to do just a bit more. Dishes, a shave, a shower, but letting ducks out and maybe watering the side yard? Is it too late? I'll look shortly.
What is frustrating? Often I don't have the focus, concentration, awareness, or memory to see and feel the need to work. So it doesn't... concern me. But now, with body in better shape, mind improved, and temps controlled and tolerated, creating a perfect storm in a good way for work, I am tripping over my out of shape, still partly dead corpse. There is hope it can be improved, stamina increased, but I am not seeing that.
It isn't for me to know. Or say. I guess I just have to keep trying. The options aren't easier. I wouldn't have believed I would still be here. If, thankfully, I can't feel all pain in the present or remember pain from the past. Even the memory of the weight of the pain is gone, and the memory of present pain auxiliary affects slips from my mind as water from a duck's back. Is that true for all, or just us living dead?
Blood sugar was better, 139 fasting and first thing. I will be more careful with sweeteners, if I don't think that was the problem. I WAS being careful with the stuff. Bleh. A second day of fasting. Feeling good that way. Enjoying fasting, actually. Plus, since I need a physical break before I really hurt something, it helps.
I best get to letting the ducks out and watering the side yard if possible. Then a trim in prep for a closer shave in a bit. Probably a break as I wake, then to dishes. Ugh.
.
It started with the six alarm and two snooze bar hits before I realized that wasn't going to work. I simply turned that alarm off, making sure the eight alarm was still on. Then I fought to wake, beyond the last snooze. The alarm was spent. I reset them for tomorrow but still couldn't quite wake. I was worried, could do nothing about it.
As it ends, I was able to begin getting out of bed about five minutes later. It took two minutes to climb out of bed, a very unusual thing? I am tired. I am sore. And I am grateful for it. I am hoping to do just a bit more. Dishes, a shave, a shower, but letting ducks out and maybe watering the side yard? Is it too late? I'll look shortly.
What is frustrating? Often I don't have the focus, concentration, awareness, or memory to see and feel the need to work. So it doesn't... concern me. But now, with body in better shape, mind improved, and temps controlled and tolerated, creating a perfect storm in a good way for work, I am tripping over my out of shape, still partly dead corpse. There is hope it can be improved, stamina increased, but I am not seeing that.
It isn't for me to know. Or say. I guess I just have to keep trying. The options aren't easier. I wouldn't have believed I would still be here. If, thankfully, I can't feel all pain in the present or remember pain from the past. Even the memory of the weight of the pain is gone, and the memory of present pain auxiliary affects slips from my mind as water from a duck's back. Is that true for all, or just us living dead?
Blood sugar was better, 139 fasting and first thing. I will be more careful with sweeteners, if I don't think that was the problem. I WAS being careful with the stuff. Bleh. A second day of fasting. Feeling good that way. Enjoying fasting, actually. Plus, since I need a physical break before I really hurt something, it helps.
I best get to letting the ducks out and watering the side yard if possible. Then a trim in prep for a closer shave in a bit. Probably a break as I wake, then to dishes. Ugh.
Wednesday, July 10, 2019
Definitely ready for bed.
.
.
I have to turn water off to the back yard. It won't get much, but it is late. A start. The front and half of the side yard got hit. If I wake early enough, the last part of the side yard will be hit. Awake a bit late, but to get things watered it was worth it. I'll know in a week if... I just didn't realize how dry it had gotten.
I had to do a fatted tea. Not from hunger, but in order to take insulin. Blood sugar was staying around 180. A fatted tea and a 10 cc dose brought it down to 87 then again 87 as I go to bed. Better. Sometimes you just have to break the rut. For me, taking insulin without calories either does nothing or crashes. No choice, and good call as I see things. I'm still hungry, consider this medical.
BP is remaining higher. Not the old midrange, but not down to more normal numbers. I am afraid to take more medicine, too easy to crash on it at higher doses, then it's brutal trying to titrate back up, or to just restart at dose. Each method is brutal in it's own unique way. I am doing what I can.
Good night.
.
I have to turn water off to the back yard. It won't get much, but it is late. A start. The front and half of the side yard got hit. If I wake early enough, the last part of the side yard will be hit. Awake a bit late, but to get things watered it was worth it. I'll know in a week if... I just didn't realize how dry it had gotten.
I had to do a fatted tea. Not from hunger, but in order to take insulin. Blood sugar was staying around 180. A fatted tea and a 10 cc dose brought it down to 87 then again 87 as I go to bed. Better. Sometimes you just have to break the rut. For me, taking insulin without calories either does nothing or crashes. No choice, and good call as I see things. I'm still hungry, consider this medical.
BP is remaining higher. Not the old midrange, but not down to more normal numbers. I am afraid to take more medicine, too easy to crash on it at higher doses, then it's brutal trying to titrate back up, or to just restart at dose. Each method is brutal in it's own unique way. I am doing what I can.
Good night.
Incredibly cooler?
.
.
The thermometer suggests, with it being as high as 94° F outside and it just hitting 74.1 in the main portion and 77° in the front areas, that it takes a lot longer to warm and is a few degrees cooler overall. I would have expected it to be more like 79° in here. And that it would have been that hot two to three hours ago. It does work. It doesn't seem all that much difference, but the numbers don't quite relay fully.
No more work today. I walked out to rake earlier. It had warmed too much. My back whines too much from a few minor things. Dishes are out. No, I am done for the day, except to turn water to the sprinklers at or near sundown. Not sure it will do any good. I wonder, if I get watering going, if fertilizer would help. It may just be too sunny.
I was able to nap. I was cool enough, in the 77° room, to still need a blanket. While blood pressure and blood sugar are, generally, better, it is by tolerance to heat that I know some things are vastly improved. The medicines are still needed, and are now the problem. As mentioned, as to function, medicine is worse than the disease. At least for me.
Still, a good day. Many things found, a few things done, another set of things to do. A cooler cave, a nap, and it is all coming together. Dishes tomorrow. Then a shave and shower. A continuation of fasting, in adoration to Mary. Perhaps raking the side yard, and the area sprinkler out there, for the lawn and ducks. Dare I tell them it is two birds, or five actually, with one stone?
Aspirin, and whatever. A movie? Sure. Later.
.
The thermometer suggests, with it being as high as 94° F outside and it just hitting 74.1 in the main portion and 77° in the front areas, that it takes a lot longer to warm and is a few degrees cooler overall. I would have expected it to be more like 79° in here. And that it would have been that hot two to three hours ago. It does work. It doesn't seem all that much difference, but the numbers don't quite relay fully.
No more work today. I walked out to rake earlier. It had warmed too much. My back whines too much from a few minor things. Dishes are out. No, I am done for the day, except to turn water to the sprinklers at or near sundown. Not sure it will do any good. I wonder, if I get watering going, if fertilizer would help. It may just be too sunny.
I was able to nap. I was cool enough, in the 77° room, to still need a blanket. While blood pressure and blood sugar are, generally, better, it is by tolerance to heat that I know some things are vastly improved. The medicines are still needed, and are now the problem. As mentioned, as to function, medicine is worse than the disease. At least for me.
Still, a good day. Many things found, a few things done, another set of things to do. A cooler cave, a nap, and it is all coming together. Dishes tomorrow. Then a shave and shower. A continuation of fasting, in adoration to Mary. Perhaps raking the side yard, and the area sprinkler out there, for the lawn and ducks. Dare I tell them it is two birds, or five actually, with one stone?
Aspirin, and whatever. A movie? Sure. Later.
No more work.
.
.
Not before a nap. It is 88° F outside, 73° F indoors and in both sections. I think the curtains help. Even just those up. East and west windows curtained will double the benefit. More and much larger versus smaller but longer sun face time. I am almost there.
I did get the last of what was out there, as to lawn hoses and sprinklers, set up. I found, if an inferior one, an area sprinkler which I will use on the side lawn. And occasionally for duck joy. I think they will be quite pleased with the rain simulator. But that will be an easy addition. I plan to begin watering everything tonight.
I couldn't get to dishes. To tired. Perhaps after a nap. I don't need a shower, but I would love two, two days in a row. Actually, if I can kick out dishes, having a shower every day for the next week, as a coolant and just because, would be nice. Heck, nearly daily, perhaps twice often, for the whole summer, and/or cool baths in there. Nice. And becoming possible, as grilling will become the norm.
If I figure out heat, summer might be the best chance at ripping into, clearing, and cleaning the cave. While I can heat the house in the winter, I can't create more real light. Light boxes and natural light neon just don't cut, not for me. Yeah, but this summer might be a new start to a better life. Later.
.
Not before a nap. It is 88° F outside, 73° F indoors and in both sections. I think the curtains help. Even just those up. East and west windows curtained will double the benefit. More and much larger versus smaller but longer sun face time. I am almost there.
I did get the last of what was out there, as to lawn hoses and sprinklers, set up. I found, if an inferior one, an area sprinkler which I will use on the side lawn. And occasionally for duck joy. I think they will be quite pleased with the rain simulator. But that will be an easy addition. I plan to begin watering everything tonight.
I couldn't get to dishes. To tired. Perhaps after a nap. I don't need a shower, but I would love two, two days in a row. Actually, if I can kick out dishes, having a shower every day for the next week, as a coolant and just because, would be nice. Heck, nearly daily, perhaps twice often, for the whole summer, and/or cool baths in there. Nice. And becoming possible, as grilling will become the norm.
If I figure out heat, summer might be the best chance at ripping into, clearing, and cleaning the cave. While I can heat the house in the winter, I can't create more real light. Light boxes and natural light neon just don't cut, not for me. Yeah, but this summer might be a new start to a better life. Later.
A lot of searching.
.
.
Here, there, the garage, downstairs, upstairs, in the basement. No place was not searched before, some places were searched more than once, some twice, even today. When I decided on an object, and decided to find it, I kept looking until I did. The curtains were in boxes I had thought to be empty.
Once the curtains were found, and hung up? I decided to pin them. So as to not touch the floor. That required two things. First, I found it, at best, inconvenient to pin them while up. I... had to take them down... after such fuss to get them up. WOUGHT! Then, to find more stuff. A box of pins, something to cut the tape, then... tape to replace the cut tape in order to keep the pin box shut, as tape was all that held it together. Really? Fine. Done.
The three windows are all curtained, the curtains are sized, the pins are secured and put where I got them which is where they belong. I checked the east and west windows, they will not need sized. Sometimes I have my head in some of the game. It wore me out, but... all good.
A couple hours down. Then back to searching. Hose connectors, splitters for the sprinklers, etc. I found one group. It was an auxiliary batch, as it turned out. Back to seeking without ceasing. Again, over some of the same turf, Looking and again. I wasn't sure how much longer I could look. The lower back was murder and energy levels were crashing.
Found them. Where I was sure they wouldn't be. As with the curtains, I had to take a break after finding the items. Bolstered by the find, wanting to connect things before it got too hot, I was back at it in an hour. The main sprinklers are connected to each other, the duck hose is connected to the main splitter, a bit more work shortly. I ran out of steam. I am letting the ducks splash. Will take fittings out to finish when I turn their water off.
I am hoping to hit the dishes and shower again before putting them to a final rinse. Perhaps a nap after. Whenever I get back to town, if possible, a hair cut, a shorter flattop. That, a bit of grocery shopping, a bill, some cash, and? Oh, curtain rods, eyehooks to be used with wire for sheers, and sheers if possible, affordable. Ugh. Maybe two runs?
Blood sugar is 175 still fasting. Whatever. Bp is 132/92 and an 82 pulse. Oh well.
Later.
.
Here, there, the garage, downstairs, upstairs, in the basement. No place was not searched before, some places were searched more than once, some twice, even today. When I decided on an object, and decided to find it, I kept looking until I did. The curtains were in boxes I had thought to be empty.
Once the curtains were found, and hung up? I decided to pin them. So as to not touch the floor. That required two things. First, I found it, at best, inconvenient to pin them while up. I... had to take them down... after such fuss to get them up. WOUGHT! Then, to find more stuff. A box of pins, something to cut the tape, then... tape to replace the cut tape in order to keep the pin box shut, as tape was all that held it together. Really? Fine. Done.
The three windows are all curtained, the curtains are sized, the pins are secured and put where I got them which is where they belong. I checked the east and west windows, they will not need sized. Sometimes I have my head in some of the game. It wore me out, but... all good.
A couple hours down. Then back to searching. Hose connectors, splitters for the sprinklers, etc. I found one group. It was an auxiliary batch, as it turned out. Back to seeking without ceasing. Again, over some of the same turf, Looking and again. I wasn't sure how much longer I could look. The lower back was murder and energy levels were crashing.
Found them. Where I was sure they wouldn't be. As with the curtains, I had to take a break after finding the items. Bolstered by the find, wanting to connect things before it got too hot, I was back at it in an hour. The main sprinklers are connected to each other, the duck hose is connected to the main splitter, a bit more work shortly. I ran out of steam. I am letting the ducks splash. Will take fittings out to finish when I turn their water off.
I am hoping to hit the dishes and shower again before putting them to a final rinse. Perhaps a nap after. Whenever I get back to town, if possible, a hair cut, a shorter flattop. That, a bit of grocery shopping, a bill, some cash, and? Oh, curtain rods, eyehooks to be used with wire for sheers, and sheers if possible, affordable. Ugh. Maybe two runs?
Blood sugar is 175 still fasting. Whatever. Bp is 132/92 and an 82 pulse. Oh well.
Later.
Really worn.
.
.
Immediately understood. Most pain is behind the blank cover of numbness. Thank God. The tip of the iceberg breaching that plain is yet a bounty. Yet a gift if one understands, or desires understanding, about worldly detachment. Far better to carry a ready dose of pain than to live pridefully painlessly.
The simple humility it affords is the starting point, but leads to a communion with martyrs, on to a real link with the truest holocaust. Not worthy, if who is or can be? Even before all was known, they He chose knew they were unworthy. Or, who else He chose. I, too, was chosen, called even from the dead, damned.
So tired. It took an hour and an half to finally wake! I struggled, pushed, pulled. I had to pee so bad on top of it! Such a miserable time of it. The ducks are out, eastern and back windows are shut. Cats are on a timer, to be fed two hours after waking. I think I found fittings, for the sprinklers, last night. But I couldn't find the curtains. I will seek those today.
Blood sugar was very good, at 132 fasting. They want it around 80 ~ 100 fasting. My method, to them, is the hard way, madness. But my way absolutely requires control starting at the mouth. At the third, nearing fourth, stage of kidney failure, why would they offer a pill to worsen that. What was that mash song? Ah, Suicide is painless. No thanks. My way is difficult, but it is true. No gimmicks.
Fasting today. And right off the bat, for only the second time this week... month even, I feel hunger. It will pass. But why hunger? I ate just last night. Bleh. Fasting until breakfast on Saturday. I will only be checking blood sugar in the morning, at noon, then bedtime unless I sense a negative spike.
I will check bp in an half hour. I like to give medicine some time. Dishes, and another shower, perhaps at least a trim? Maybe. Then on to looking for the curtains. Later, connecting hoses for watering tonight and maybe raking the rest of the lawn, the side lawn is all needing raked actually, but... yea.
It was 56 F, at about 7:30. It is 70 in the main, 67 in the other part, of my home. Still cool enough to bring in outside air for now. It should be interesting to see what having the upstairs with curtains, and cooled... how much effect that will have. To be honest, if I can keep to sleeping at night, it won't be ac'ed much. A few hours before bedtime, a few hours during on a timer, and that will probably be it, especially now that handling even 80 during my waking time isn't a terrible imposition, especially if I can cool down at night.
I best get to waking. Good morning and day.
.
Immediately understood. Most pain is behind the blank cover of numbness. Thank God. The tip of the iceberg breaching that plain is yet a bounty. Yet a gift if one understands, or desires understanding, about worldly detachment. Far better to carry a ready dose of pain than to live pridefully painlessly.
The simple humility it affords is the starting point, but leads to a communion with martyrs, on to a real link with the truest holocaust. Not worthy, if who is or can be? Even before all was known, they He chose knew they were unworthy. Or, who else He chose. I, too, was chosen, called even from the dead, damned.
So tired. It took an hour and an half to finally wake! I struggled, pushed, pulled. I had to pee so bad on top of it! Such a miserable time of it. The ducks are out, eastern and back windows are shut. Cats are on a timer, to be fed two hours after waking. I think I found fittings, for the sprinklers, last night. But I couldn't find the curtains. I will seek those today.
Blood sugar was very good, at 132 fasting. They want it around 80 ~ 100 fasting. My method, to them, is the hard way, madness. But my way absolutely requires control starting at the mouth. At the third, nearing fourth, stage of kidney failure, why would they offer a pill to worsen that. What was that mash song? Ah, Suicide is painless. No thanks. My way is difficult, but it is true. No gimmicks.
Fasting today. And right off the bat, for only the second time this week... month even, I feel hunger. It will pass. But why hunger? I ate just last night. Bleh. Fasting until breakfast on Saturday. I will only be checking blood sugar in the morning, at noon, then bedtime unless I sense a negative spike.
I will check bp in an half hour. I like to give medicine some time. Dishes, and another shower, perhaps at least a trim? Maybe. Then on to looking for the curtains. Later, connecting hoses for watering tonight and maybe raking the rest of the lawn, the side lawn is all needing raked actually, but... yea.
It was 56 F, at about 7:30. It is 70 in the main, 67 in the other part, of my home. Still cool enough to bring in outside air for now. It should be interesting to see what having the upstairs with curtains, and cooled... how much effect that will have. To be honest, if I can keep to sleeping at night, it won't be ac'ed much. A few hours before bedtime, a few hours during on a timer, and that will probably be it, especially now that handling even 80 during my waking time isn't a terrible imposition, especially if I can cool down at night.
I best get to waking. Good morning and day.
Tuesday, July 9, 2019
Rather worn.
.
.
I love being this sort of tired. I had hoped to do a few more things. I did get the dishes reset. But that was calculated in. I took it for granted, if I really shouldn't. I had hoped to put the sheers up, and pin the curtains. Well, and find the rest of the curtains, get them upstairs, and install the final one for the south facing window. Might still do that if finding the curtains is easy. Not the sheers, just taking and putting up curtains.
Blood sugar was 94 three hours after dinner. I used 16 cc's of insulin with food, before that reading. A few hours after that, it is 89 as a bedtime read. BP is 120/84 with a pulse of 86. Finally a bit better. It is part of why I love work when I can do it. Tomorrow is a fasting day. I will eat again Saturday. Of course, no insulin whatever happens, though if it drops below 80, I will eat something, most likely a fatted tea, or fatted bone broth.
It was an amazing day. I would love to keep at it. I know better than to wish. Though... it could happen. Some things. It was a good day. If the curtains can be finished, I can put an ac upstairs, and turn that into my summer bedroom. And, yes, the closet is interior and cooler... and darker.
Good night.
.
I love being this sort of tired. I had hoped to do a few more things. I did get the dishes reset. But that was calculated in. I took it for granted, if I really shouldn't. I had hoped to put the sheers up, and pin the curtains. Well, and find the rest of the curtains, get them upstairs, and install the final one for the south facing window. Might still do that if finding the curtains is easy. Not the sheers, just taking and putting up curtains.
Blood sugar was 94 three hours after dinner. I used 16 cc's of insulin with food, before that reading. A few hours after that, it is 89 as a bedtime read. BP is 120/84 with a pulse of 86. Finally a bit better. It is part of why I love work when I can do it. Tomorrow is a fasting day. I will eat again Saturday. Of course, no insulin whatever happens, though if it drops below 80, I will eat something, most likely a fatted tea, or fatted bone broth.
It was an amazing day. I would love to keep at it. I know better than to wish. Though... it could happen. Some things. It was a good day. If the curtains can be finished, I can put an ac upstairs, and turn that into my summer bedroom. And, yes, the closet is interior and cooler... and darker.
Good night.
Something of a miracle.
.
.
The day was escaping me. I decided to place a few calls. Actually a text, first. To my brother, asking if he had time for a call. No reply, at all. Oh well. Next a call to mom. I was just about to let it go when she answered, in a good mood. Usually she is, even when she isn't. I am taking notes.
Her car died? It sounds like it drained of oil or radiator fluid, then burned. She had just checked the oil. Still, a crack could override her care. I... offered her my car. I have two. She doesn't think she can drive a stick. I suggested, being tired all the time I wasn't sure myself. They are far easier these days. Yea, I mean it. She would have to do the insurance. It's all I can do.
She is still in a good mood. She has other ways for now. No use arguing with the woman. Even Jesus had... difficulties. She is doing good. Oh, and she knew why my brother didn't get back to me. They are travelling today, will be gone for a bit. That eases my mind.
While I was talking, I was out in the yard. Small branches, everywhere. A minor storm blew through the other day. It left as perfect a smattering of small branches over most of the yard, an amazing fete, actually. And the lawn will die, if it hasn't. So... I... got busy.
First I raked the front lawn. I couldn't do more, of that. I then grabbed the sprinklers, placed them, then roughly set the spray spread. Finally, I got hoses out to each sprinkler. One is missing, or misplaced? I need to find the splitters yet, then get that going. A nice start.
I had to rest after that. My lower back, and muscles, all grieving. All good. It was still only in the low 70s in here, much warmer outside, near or over 90? Near or over. After resting, finally, upstairs. Two complete curtains were installed, facing south. I thought there were four, only three. I'll look for the rest of the curtains, and pins to get them off the floor, for now.
The other windows, east and west, need shorter rods, so that is that until my next shopping trip. I may have sheers, and may add those. In the Sunbelt every little thing helps, a lot actually. Oh, the walls were all just drywall, with one single spot hitting wood. Installation was mostly a breeze. I don't trust drywall anchors, but it is what I have.
Finally, a shower. I haven't started the dishes. Not enough hot water. Maybe. But they are in, ready to begin a fresh soak in about an hour. It is past dinner and I am hungry. A couple of chicken thighs, corn, and milk. A fatted tea and dose, too. Nothing fancy, it will do.
It has clouded over. No rain yet, doesn't smell of it, but who knows these days. At least it will help keep it cooler. Blessings, be well, later.
.
The day was escaping me. I decided to place a few calls. Actually a text, first. To my brother, asking if he had time for a call. No reply, at all. Oh well. Next a call to mom. I was just about to let it go when she answered, in a good mood. Usually she is, even when she isn't. I am taking notes.
Her car died? It sounds like it drained of oil or radiator fluid, then burned. She had just checked the oil. Still, a crack could override her care. I... offered her my car. I have two. She doesn't think she can drive a stick. I suggested, being tired all the time I wasn't sure myself. They are far easier these days. Yea, I mean it. She would have to do the insurance. It's all I can do.
She is still in a good mood. She has other ways for now. No use arguing with the woman. Even Jesus had... difficulties. She is doing good. Oh, and she knew why my brother didn't get back to me. They are travelling today, will be gone for a bit. That eases my mind.
While I was talking, I was out in the yard. Small branches, everywhere. A minor storm blew through the other day. It left as perfect a smattering of small branches over most of the yard, an amazing fete, actually. And the lawn will die, if it hasn't. So... I... got busy.
First I raked the front lawn. I couldn't do more, of that. I then grabbed the sprinklers, placed them, then roughly set the spray spread. Finally, I got hoses out to each sprinkler. One is missing, or misplaced? I need to find the splitters yet, then get that going. A nice start.
I had to rest after that. My lower back, and muscles, all grieving. All good. It was still only in the low 70s in here, much warmer outside, near or over 90? Near or over. After resting, finally, upstairs. Two complete curtains were installed, facing south. I thought there were four, only three. I'll look for the rest of the curtains, and pins to get them off the floor, for now.
The other windows, east and west, need shorter rods, so that is that until my next shopping trip. I may have sheers, and may add those. In the Sunbelt every little thing helps, a lot actually. Oh, the walls were all just drywall, with one single spot hitting wood. Installation was mostly a breeze. I don't trust drywall anchors, but it is what I have.
Finally, a shower. I haven't started the dishes. Not enough hot water. Maybe. But they are in, ready to begin a fresh soak in about an hour. It is past dinner and I am hungry. A couple of chicken thighs, corn, and milk. A fatted tea and dose, too. Nothing fancy, it will do.
It has clouded over. No rain yet, doesn't smell of it, but who knows these days. At least it will help keep it cooler. Blessings, be well, later.
A strange day.
.
.
In one of the strangest real collections of days lived by one graced with flesh.
It is 44° F outside, on July 9th. July 9th? It happens. The National Weather service reports it to be 47, of course. Always warmer than it really is. They use a local airport that is tarred and downwind of a midsized city. And it is 20 miles away. But these are features, not bugs, on their march to a one world government. I wonder how many of these useful idiots realize what the game actually is? I finally believe the majority of my fellow citizens understand, but with major voting areas, such as Cali, Ill , and NYC permanently rigged, and the rest going that way, I don't believe they have a voice. If also no will to be heard.
I have set the alarms again, to six and eight. Somehow the six was switched off. I checked it before sleep, I know it was on. I tell you, I am not alone here. In any case, right at six I heard the alarm start to sound, but then not get going. It starts with an odd click, then a very faint buzz... electronic purr, then slowly increases in volume and tone? Something, I think tone too? As well, light turns on dully, but begins getting brighter. I swear I heard that initial run up, and thought I sensed the light, then it was as if it, any of it, hadn't happened.
When I found it, and looked at it, that alarm was not on. Very strange. Some odd forces working against me, some working for me, both cheating if one only uncheating the other's cheats? I believe. I don't have to like it, I simply must believe very real experiences or accept insanity, which I don't. Don't let secular faith haters design your path toward the highway to hell they follow. Final death is their greatest hope, and it will fail them. All the piles of gold on earth will do them not a bit of good... weatherman, prince, politician... false pope.
Blood sugar is improving. At 165 fasting and a 141 average, this is the best morning since the change? At least since the changes took hold. I won't be consuming calories until 16:00 today. It often takes a bit, after I finally realize it is mealtime, then fixing something can take time. I am often an hour late with a meal. T's'okay. I may fast tomorrow. Then for three days. As an 18:00 meal won't leave enough time to correct flaws by eating or eating and dosing, plus checking. Yeah. BP is 138/99 and a 73 pulse.
Perhaps a three day fast is exactly what is needed for a finer outcome, even for bp. Since I am not secular, and all good things I do are God given, I will, from now on, fast with intentions or as a small adoration, as well as in glad penance. This fast is to the adoration of Mary. She has been with me, of late. Not always a wanted companion. And yet, as only Christ can fully know, a thorn in the side can be of the divinest grace. Even this ogre now sees that, and welcomes discomforts when contemplating ills.
A shower, first thing. Dishes reset after. Perhaps a shot at some rods and curtains installed upstairs? I can hope. Good morning and day.
.
In one of the strangest real collections of days lived by one graced with flesh.
It is 44° F outside, on July 9th. July 9th? It happens. The National Weather service reports it to be 47, of course. Always warmer than it really is. They use a local airport that is tarred and downwind of a midsized city. And it is 20 miles away. But these are features, not bugs, on their march to a one world government. I wonder how many of these useful idiots realize what the game actually is? I finally believe the majority of my fellow citizens understand, but with major voting areas, such as Cali, Ill , and NYC permanently rigged, and the rest going that way, I don't believe they have a voice. If also no will to be heard.
I have set the alarms again, to six and eight. Somehow the six was switched off. I checked it before sleep, I know it was on. I tell you, I am not alone here. In any case, right at six I heard the alarm start to sound, but then not get going. It starts with an odd click, then a very faint buzz... electronic purr, then slowly increases in volume and tone? Something, I think tone too? As well, light turns on dully, but begins getting brighter. I swear I heard that initial run up, and thought I sensed the light, then it was as if it, any of it, hadn't happened.
When I found it, and looked at it, that alarm was not on. Very strange. Some odd forces working against me, some working for me, both cheating if one only uncheating the other's cheats? I believe. I don't have to like it, I simply must believe very real experiences or accept insanity, which I don't. Don't let secular faith haters design your path toward the highway to hell they follow. Final death is their greatest hope, and it will fail them. All the piles of gold on earth will do them not a bit of good... weatherman, prince, politician... false pope.
Blood sugar is improving. At 165 fasting and a 141 average, this is the best morning since the change? At least since the changes took hold. I won't be consuming calories until 16:00 today. It often takes a bit, after I finally realize it is mealtime, then fixing something can take time. I am often an hour late with a meal. T's'okay. I may fast tomorrow. Then for three days. As an 18:00 meal won't leave enough time to correct flaws by eating or eating and dosing, plus checking. Yeah. BP is 138/99 and a 73 pulse.
Perhaps a three day fast is exactly what is needed for a finer outcome, even for bp. Since I am not secular, and all good things I do are God given, I will, from now on, fast with intentions or as a small adoration, as well as in glad penance. This fast is to the adoration of Mary. She has been with me, of late. Not always a wanted companion. And yet, as only Christ can fully know, a thorn in the side can be of the divinest grace. Even this ogre now sees that, and welcomes discomforts when contemplating ills.
A shower, first thing. Dishes reset after. Perhaps a shot at some rods and curtains installed upstairs? I can hope. Good morning and day.
Monday, July 8, 2019
So little done.
.
.
Some things. Some things ready to be done. Life hurts, or goes numb. I prefer pain, for a while. Meds already down, aspirin just now. I prefer pain, but only to that dead-like numbness. That is so cold, and why I have been wearing my thickest wool socks the last few days. Cold, almost as death.
Blood sugar at 115 is quite good. Bp is 135/95 with an 81 pulse. I am not sure why it is sticking just above "better". It beats 195/120. *shrug* Good night.
.
Some things. Some things ready to be done. Life hurts, or goes numb. I prefer pain, for a while. Meds already down, aspirin just now. I prefer pain, but only to that dead-like numbness. That is so cold, and why I have been wearing my thickest wool socks the last few days. Cold, almost as death.
Blood sugar at 115 is quite good. Bp is 135/95 with an 81 pulse. I am not sure why it is sticking just above "better". It beats 195/120. *shrug* Good night.
It just is.
.
.
It is also, among other things, down to 60 F as it is hitting twenty hundred. It stayed right at 74 all day, inside. If I had realized it was cooler earlier I would definitely have opened up already. By the feel of things, it will cool down quickly. It has dropped a degree while writing this paragraph, in both the front and main of the cave.
Blood sugar was good at 89 three hours after dinner. A fatted coffee after that reading. I am hoping blood sugar remains below 150. I will check three hours after that last read, two hours after finishing the fatted coffee. Yea, I nurse them. They are very heavy, more medicinal than the treat they would seem, perhaps, from afar. At that low, a bit of something was wise.
I am back to three water pills, down from five. I had no choice. I was water bloating to the point putting shoes on was becoming a major problem. My lungs, to, were filling. I have been on three pills for two days. It is overacting on my reduced fluid intake, and even with vitamins, minerals, and extra minerals, my legs are cramping. So, I am cutting that down to two. Cautiously. Apparently one is at least one too few, attempting one a day was the cause. I am hoping to get down to two. To ease up on the kidneys, etc.
The front room is down two degrees already. No direct sun. A shower after the next read. Then bedtime? Probably. Later.
.
It is also, among other things, down to 60 F as it is hitting twenty hundred. It stayed right at 74 all day, inside. If I had realized it was cooler earlier I would definitely have opened up already. By the feel of things, it will cool down quickly. It has dropped a degree while writing this paragraph, in both the front and main of the cave.
Blood sugar was good at 89 three hours after dinner. A fatted coffee after that reading. I am hoping blood sugar remains below 150. I will check three hours after that last read, two hours after finishing the fatted coffee. Yea, I nurse them. They are very heavy, more medicinal than the treat they would seem, perhaps, from afar. At that low, a bit of something was wise.
I am back to three water pills, down from five. I had no choice. I was water bloating to the point putting shoes on was becoming a major problem. My lungs, to, were filling. I have been on three pills for two days. It is overacting on my reduced fluid intake, and even with vitamins, minerals, and extra minerals, my legs are cramping. So, I am cutting that down to two. Cautiously. Apparently one is at least one too few, attempting one a day was the cause. I am hoping to get down to two. To ease up on the kidneys, etc.
The front room is down two degrees already. No direct sun. A shower after the next read. Then bedtime? Probably. Later.
A few things.
.
.
The grill is going. Chicken is brining, pork is good as is and is grilling now. Deliveries received. The non-bulb bulbs arrived. I put those in right away, and... they don't work. I hadn't thought to try the tubes in the other fixture. Until today. All the tubes work. The other two fixtures are on a different circuit. Time to flip switches? Maybe.
No dishes done, but they are drained. The hope is for a shower in order to get to town tomorrow or shortly after. I do have curtain rods, flats. These curtains do better with round ones. I have some, but need more and shorter rods at that. After a shower the dishes will go back.
A cooler day. Last I looked, at noon, it was 72. I need to bring the bins back. I'll check here at nearly fourteen hundred. The thermometer too close to the grill seemed a bit high. The other one read at 78, that is the one I trust. A fourteen degree difference is too much. It isn't cold, it isn't hot. It is 73, everywhere, in here... with nothing running.
No need to check blood sugar while still fasting. Three hours after dinner and a dose, then to decide if to eat and or eat and dose then. I am allowing up to six hours to eat after the first meal. Preferably four hours, all said and done. The allowance is more for the case when blood sugar climbs and dosing so eating might be considered wise.
Later.
.
The grill is going. Chicken is brining, pork is good as is and is grilling now. Deliveries received. The non-bulb bulbs arrived. I put those in right away, and... they don't work. I hadn't thought to try the tubes in the other fixture. Until today. All the tubes work. The other two fixtures are on a different circuit. Time to flip switches? Maybe.
No dishes done, but they are drained. The hope is for a shower in order to get to town tomorrow or shortly after. I do have curtain rods, flats. These curtains do better with round ones. I have some, but need more and shorter rods at that. After a shower the dishes will go back.
A cooler day. Last I looked, at noon, it was 72. I need to bring the bins back. I'll check here at nearly fourteen hundred. The thermometer too close to the grill seemed a bit high. The other one read at 78, that is the one I trust. A fourteen degree difference is too much. It isn't cold, it isn't hot. It is 73, everywhere, in here... with nothing running.
No need to check blood sugar while still fasting. Three hours after dinner and a dose, then to decide if to eat and or eat and dose then. I am allowing up to six hours to eat after the first meal. Preferably four hours, all said and done. The allowance is more for the case when blood sugar climbs and dosing so eating might be considered wise.
Later.
Some things.
.
.
Before sleep, trash and recycling were gathered and taken to the bin. But not to the curb? No concentration. Then I made it to the post. I think the last packages were in, for a while. Couldn't have gotten out earlier anyway, or I would have. Something is terribly wrong. I don't get to die, sometimes I don't understand why I don't.
Pain. Dissociation... helps. Sometimes it is all I have. Now.
To bed by 23:00. I set the alarms for six and eight, then slept. An half hour down, pretty much asleep, then I realized it. The trash still needed to go to the curb. Did not want to wake. Had just escaped pain. Suspected I wouldn't be awake early enough to beat the recycling truck, maybe not even the trash truck. So, using every ounce of willpower to me I, I got up, dressed, then took the barrels to the curb.
On the good side? When I returned to bed I went to sleep so fast I don't remember from about at the curb. Out of curiosity I checked the bins. Full. And, yet, if I hadn't gotten them out? You know it. No whine, we have excellent services, just a cosmic pseudo law of action, inaction, and consequences. A God level joke, if one He neither devised, implemented, or such, but comes from our recalcitrance in His ordered world. I actually think He will enjoy the joke when it is fully explained to Him? I do.
Overcast. But not all that cool. It was about 56 around six, now 58? At almost eight. While the thermometers indicate 71 main, 68 secondary, home temperatures, I still need to wear long leg sweat typy pj's. I may add a fleece jacket. I do still have fans running, but in nooks to bring the last of the morning cool in. Fresh air is wonderful.
Blood sugar is 189 fasting. Oh well. I ate less than 1,200 calories yesterday, all keto. No food until 14:00. Chicken hindquarters and a pork roast are thawed, will be grilled. A fatted coffee or tea. Hmm, there has to be something else. I haven't had corn in a while, that would work. A rare treat. I am still hoping to work today. Later.
.
Before sleep, trash and recycling were gathered and taken to the bin. But not to the curb? No concentration. Then I made it to the post. I think the last packages were in, for a while. Couldn't have gotten out earlier anyway, or I would have. Something is terribly wrong. I don't get to die, sometimes I don't understand why I don't.
Pain. Dissociation... helps. Sometimes it is all I have. Now.
To bed by 23:00. I set the alarms for six and eight, then slept. An half hour down, pretty much asleep, then I realized it. The trash still needed to go to the curb. Did not want to wake. Had just escaped pain. Suspected I wouldn't be awake early enough to beat the recycling truck, maybe not even the trash truck. So, using every ounce of willpower to me I, I got up, dressed, then took the barrels to the curb.
On the good side? When I returned to bed I went to sleep so fast I don't remember from about at the curb. Out of curiosity I checked the bins. Full. And, yet, if I hadn't gotten them out? You know it. No whine, we have excellent services, just a cosmic pseudo law of action, inaction, and consequences. A God level joke, if one He neither devised, implemented, or such, but comes from our recalcitrance in His ordered world. I actually think He will enjoy the joke when it is fully explained to Him? I do.
Overcast. But not all that cool. It was about 56 around six, now 58? At almost eight. While the thermometers indicate 71 main, 68 secondary, home temperatures, I still need to wear long leg sweat typy pj's. I may add a fleece jacket. I do still have fans running, but in nooks to bring the last of the morning cool in. Fresh air is wonderful.
Blood sugar is 189 fasting. Oh well. I ate less than 1,200 calories yesterday, all keto. No food until 14:00. Chicken hindquarters and a pork roast are thawed, will be grilled. A fatted coffee or tea. Hmm, there has to be something else. I haven't had corn in a while, that would work. A rare treat. I am still hoping to work today. Later.
Sunday, July 7, 2019
Oh well.
.
.
Oter than the critters and a meal, nothing else was done. Trash and recycling out tonight? Ugh. Blood sugar was odd. At 202 or whatever, then 22 cc's of insulin, it was 188 three hours after. I hadn't planned more calories, that changed my mind. A fatted coffee is all. Then another 22 cc's. That fixed it. The next three readings were 94, 115, and 128 as I prepare for bed. Average is 134.
Tomorrow I don't eat until 14:00. A few more days and I'll run into fasting. Three days max, then an 8:00 breakfast, or later if sleep is off. I may not be able to keep a schedule, regular days, but as with medicine, I can take finagle those through odd sleep patterns.
I'll keep trying. Good night.
.
Oter than the critters and a meal, nothing else was done. Trash and recycling out tonight? Ugh. Blood sugar was odd. At 202 or whatever, then 22 cc's of insulin, it was 188 three hours after. I hadn't planned more calories, that changed my mind. A fatted coffee is all. Then another 22 cc's. That fixed it. The next three readings were 94, 115, and 128 as I prepare for bed. Average is 134.
Tomorrow I don't eat until 14:00. A few more days and I'll run into fasting. Three days max, then an 8:00 breakfast, or later if sleep is off. I may not be able to keep a schedule, regular days, but as with medicine, I can take finagle those through odd sleep patterns.
I'll keep trying. Good night.
Eleven hours.
.
.
Why so long I can't say. Perhaps I have learned to rig my cave too well? It is 70 in the main, 67 and back (non-stone and mortar portions) and front rooms. The stone and mortar portions stay closer to ground temp, wick the cool up, if also soaking the sun. Blood sugar is 202 fasting. I thought the high read yesterday was a fluke. I guess not.
Everything I consumed was keto, and totalled less than 2k calories. Something is just wrong. Oh, and I did wait until ten to eat. I won't eat until noon today. I just don't understand. It isn't just the diabetes, my kidneys or more like lower back is killing me. Just standing, filling the duck pool, killed my back. Tiredness I am chalking up to how cool I am keeping the house, and how well I have acclimated to even 70 to even 75 degrees. Even if diabetes goes sideways from time to time, it is in much better control. Same with bp. I did test that recently, Friday it was 136/101 with a pulse of 87. Not great, but sure beats 197/120 from a week before. Yes, I am on the higher dose of carvedilol. And medicine has been flawless for a while now. *shrugs*
The same plans today as yesterday. Eventually. Good morning and day.
.
Why so long I can't say. Perhaps I have learned to rig my cave too well? It is 70 in the main, 67 and back (non-stone and mortar portions) and front rooms. The stone and mortar portions stay closer to ground temp, wick the cool up, if also soaking the sun. Blood sugar is 202 fasting. I thought the high read yesterday was a fluke. I guess not.
Everything I consumed was keto, and totalled less than 2k calories. Something is just wrong. Oh, and I did wait until ten to eat. I won't eat until noon today. I just don't understand. It isn't just the diabetes, my kidneys or more like lower back is killing me. Just standing, filling the duck pool, killed my back. Tiredness I am chalking up to how cool I am keeping the house, and how well I have acclimated to even 70 to even 75 degrees. Even if diabetes goes sideways from time to time, it is in much better control. Same with bp. I did test that recently, Friday it was 136/101 with a pulse of 87. Not great, but sure beats 197/120 from a week before. Yes, I am on the higher dose of carvedilol. And medicine has been flawless for a while now. *shrugs*
The same plans today as yesterday. Eventually. Good morning and day.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)