Another major climb to wakefulness.

.
.
It started with the six alarm and two snooze bar hits before I realized that wasn't going to work.  I simply turned that alarm off, making sure the eight alarm was still on.  Then I fought to wake, beyond the last snooze.  The alarm was spent.  I reset them for tomorrow but still couldn't quite wake.  I was worried, could do nothing about it.

As it ends, I was able to begin getting out of bed about five minutes later.  It took two minutes to climb out of bed, a very unusual thing?  I am tired.  I am sore.  And I am grateful for it.  I am hoping to do just a bit more.  Dishes, a shave, a shower, but letting ducks out and maybe watering the side yard?  Is it too late?  I'll look shortly.

What is frustrating?  Often I don't have the focus, concentration, awareness, or memory to see and feel the need to work.  So it doesn't... concern me.  But now, with body in better shape, mind improved, and temps controlled and tolerated, creating a perfect storm in a good way for work, I am tripping over my out of shape, still partly dead corpse.  There is hope it can be improved, stamina increased, but I am not seeing that.

It isn't for me to know.  Or say.  I guess I just have to keep trying.  The options aren't easier.  I wouldn't have believed I would still be here.  If, thankfully, I can't feel all pain in the present or remember pain from the past.  Even the memory of the weight of the pain is gone, and the memory of present pain auxiliary affects slips from my mind as water from a duck's back.  Is that true for all, or just us living dead?

Blood sugar was better, 139 fasting and first thing.  I will be more careful with sweeteners, if I don't think that was the problem.  I WAS being careful with the stuff.  Bleh.  A second day of fasting.  Feeling good that way.  Enjoying fasting, actually.  Plus, since I need a physical break before I really hurt something, it helps.

I best get to letting the ducks out and watering the side yard if possible.  Then a trim in prep for a closer shave in a bit.  Probably a break as I wake, then to dishes.  Ugh.