Studies went well, though the pace is a bit slow. We did try to figure out the why and how of some operations, and in the end probably understand those things better if we did not quite reach our goal. That slowed things, but was a worthy goal (one we may yet obtain). I plan to begin early tomorrow, continue on Sunday, and even get together with my partner Monday before the test. I would like to do really well, and I do understand much of this material and well, it is simply a matter of it being a good deal of material, complicated via minute detail, and often indecipherable except as formula writ (meaning, I do not have the means of understand how they arrived at the formula itself, or another way to put it, I have no clue what is truly occurring sometimes and even regarding some of the fundamental aspects). It does not worry me that I cannot yet know it. This is the way it actually has to be, I think. The sciences, and the mathematics behind the sciences, have to be taken on faith and in little bites until some potential time when a higher level of understanding is warranted (and earned, presumably this way).
I tried to log in to register for classes. After messing with their system over several days, I finally got logged in. A problem remains. It seems their system indicates I still owe money on this last course. Hmm, it is not so. I just checked and the last automatic withdrawal happened several days ago. I suspect they have a third party collect their bills and the chain of information is slow, or even scheduled weekly on Mondays or Saturdays or some mix of specified days or dates. Now that I have access, I will make an attempt tomorrow and failing that, Monday. If Monday fails, I will give them a call. No big thing, just something to work on. After speaking with my study partner, I am certain of the engineering course I will need in order to be his study partner again, and I can take the physics course where and when it is offered conveniently for me (hopefully here in town, in the afternoons, so I can take the bus and rise a bit later). It is coming together. Why rush, I have the rest of my life. Oh, I know, but worrying about it does not help a thing.
You know, I was thinking about what to try and get done before my surgery this coming Wednesday (it is a small thing, in office, out right away though temporarily disabling). I have to get some grocery shopping completed, after the test I would like to do a bit more house cleaning, and I think I should prep the apartment for easier navigation. A few pieces of furniture could be moved to accommodate limping around and having a leg potentially off at an odd angle. But too, I would like to line up some things to take up my time while down and facilitate some of the studies I am planning. I think I might dig a bit more deeply into Matlab for some of this, a computer math program, a powerful one. It seems engineering schools tend to favor it, and it uses programming this is or is quite similar to C and/or C++, also favored in engineering circles (the ones I am familiar with). I will not say I will get that all done, but it is a goal.
I best get to bed. An early rise might not be so bad and it is very late. I have been playing with computer configuration tools trying to find a system I can live with (and afford). Though, I must admit, I tinkered with dream systems (Blackbird, upgraded to the hilt, wow!). Warm and fuzzies or a kick in the pants, take what you need, I am open policy that way. Ciao.
Saturday, December 8, 2007
Friday, December 7, 2007
I cannot seem to concentrate, but…
After writing this, I will get back to study. I have done little and it is difficult to get in the swing of it at this time. But with the test Monday, I had better get cracking!
I read the news, daily at least. Most articles spark little interest. Much of it is politically motivated, Fox News being little better than the rest. Of course, there is the blogosphere, but that too is what it is. At least with blogs, my comments can be shared in a manner that is heard (for good or ill). I am not really a debater. It is not that I am static in my beliefs, it is more that I have come to a point where it takes profound new information to resettle something. In an age of jets, computers, and a seeming lack of historical, cultural, and educational standards and origins, finding serious depth of thought coupled with evidence is a rather rare thing that so that change is very slow.
What I do find, on blogs mostly, is a vitality and drive. I know many fall, and get back up, write and then withdraw, and then cycle through it all again and again. What this is, for me, is an indication and a vindication of life. When I disagree… good, I need it and perhaps they need to hear that. When I agree, great, I might clown around with a little tongue in cheek, state it whole and plain, or whatever. It is a small joy to participate, and the internet gives me an opportunity I cannot otherwise know.
Life, it is good. I can and do complain, but make no mistake, there is no question about how much I value my, your, and even little creatures’ lives. Yeah, ok, should I see a cockroach I might appreciate it’s life after I have stepped on it, but the trend otherwise is dominant. Even with my failures and frustrations, I am learning, gaining, seeing, and loving in my odd little foible filled way. I have to think you, too, have this. Even if it cannot be seen, I feel it. The proverbial light at the end of the tunnel is always, at this time in my life and finally, out there for me with absolute surety (especially since death no longer holds sway nor has the power to beckon me like a perfect lover). I know the good times are there, and I have learned patience. As well, I have learned that good times are not necessarily “happy times”, but more times of being in step with my stated moral ethics and having a community in which to share that. I hope others have that, can find it, can use it, and can come to love the nature of the facts surrounding it.
I have decided to quit being such a glumpuss. For a while anyway. I am going to review topics which are enlightening, interesting (to me), or hopeful. When school ends, I will begin a review of a new physics theory. As I figure things out, or not, I will try to write a bit about that. As well, I might write about my examination of math, if it seems I understand it well enough or if something is particularly difficult as I try to figure it out. Other topics will include little stories of the good things people do, both in the face of tragedy (like when the Amish near here set up a fund for the family of the man who killed some of their daughters then himself), to just selfless acts which shine on the better nature of men. Oh, perhaps a few ideas on food will be written about. I will be trying some interesting recipes shortly, the most interesting of which is a true onion soup, starting with six onions, homemade, somewhat involved if simply, and… we will see. If someone wants bad news, just buy a paper, turn on the tv, or browse the internet. Even good news is bad news there, innit?
Well, I best get busy or I will have no choice but to print bad news, my final grade that is! Be well, warm, loved, and kind. It is a hard world, but we have been gifted with the ability to see and choose how we deal and then interact regarding that. Choose wisely, as you may, and I will most certainly try to do likewise.
I read the news, daily at least. Most articles spark little interest. Much of it is politically motivated, Fox News being little better than the rest. Of course, there is the blogosphere, but that too is what it is. At least with blogs, my comments can be shared in a manner that is heard (for good or ill). I am not really a debater. It is not that I am static in my beliefs, it is more that I have come to a point where it takes profound new information to resettle something. In an age of jets, computers, and a seeming lack of historical, cultural, and educational standards and origins, finding serious depth of thought coupled with evidence is a rather rare thing that so that change is very slow.
What I do find, on blogs mostly, is a vitality and drive. I know many fall, and get back up, write and then withdraw, and then cycle through it all again and again. What this is, for me, is an indication and a vindication of life. When I disagree… good, I need it and perhaps they need to hear that. When I agree, great, I might clown around with a little tongue in cheek, state it whole and plain, or whatever. It is a small joy to participate, and the internet gives me an opportunity I cannot otherwise know.
Life, it is good. I can and do complain, but make no mistake, there is no question about how much I value my, your, and even little creatures’ lives. Yeah, ok, should I see a cockroach I might appreciate it’s life after I have stepped on it, but the trend otherwise is dominant. Even with my failures and frustrations, I am learning, gaining, seeing, and loving in my odd little foible filled way. I have to think you, too, have this. Even if it cannot be seen, I feel it. The proverbial light at the end of the tunnel is always, at this time in my life and finally, out there for me with absolute surety (especially since death no longer holds sway nor has the power to beckon me like a perfect lover). I know the good times are there, and I have learned patience. As well, I have learned that good times are not necessarily “happy times”, but more times of being in step with my stated moral ethics and having a community in which to share that. I hope others have that, can find it, can use it, and can come to love the nature of the facts surrounding it.
I have decided to quit being such a glumpuss. For a while anyway. I am going to review topics which are enlightening, interesting (to me), or hopeful. When school ends, I will begin a review of a new physics theory. As I figure things out, or not, I will try to write a bit about that. As well, I might write about my examination of math, if it seems I understand it well enough or if something is particularly difficult as I try to figure it out. Other topics will include little stories of the good things people do, both in the face of tragedy (like when the Amish near here set up a fund for the family of the man who killed some of their daughters then himself), to just selfless acts which shine on the better nature of men. Oh, perhaps a few ideas on food will be written about. I will be trying some interesting recipes shortly, the most interesting of which is a true onion soup, starting with six onions, homemade, somewhat involved if simply, and… we will see. If someone wants bad news, just buy a paper, turn on the tv, or browse the internet. Even good news is bad news there, innit?
Well, I best get busy or I will have no choice but to print bad news, my final grade that is! Be well, warm, loved, and kind. It is a hard world, but we have been gifted with the ability to see and choose how we deal and then interact regarding that. Choose wisely, as you may, and I will most certainly try to do likewise.
Thursday, December 6, 2007
Definitely…
Someone IS getting into my house. In a general check, little seems to be missing, though I will do a more thorough check once my final is complete. I am insured, but that is not the real problem and there is a spend down or, co-pay, whatever it is called. As well, my internet is still being used by someone else. I am starting to think that my computer problems are, potentially, related to my home intrusion. I have started removing pieces and parts from my computer, when I leave, to try to ensure it cannot be used. However, I still do not know who is doing it, precisely. My neighbor gets the most scrutiny because of his criminal record and some other things. Though in this neighborhood he is certainly not the only suspect, he would be the one who would be most likely to break in every time I am out simply to use the internet (or try) and to steal small food items (he probably gets the munchies while breaking and entering).
What to do. I have called my landlord, and I expect a call back soon. I will not go into details with him on the phone. I am going to ask for a meeting here at my place, or at his home, and we are going to discuss some things. This problem, now that I see free time coming up, is going to be tended. I will not live like this. All I can say is he a.) best not be related to these people and b.) best not have known about the criminal history when renting, without telling me and offering security (if he wants to have a bleeding heart, then let him be the one to suffer for it). I will be seeing if the V.A. has any resources, and perhaps start looking for a lawyer. It depends on how this goes.
As far as the CO2, I am unsure about that. I have left the windows closed, initially for the last week or so, while out of the house, and completely for the last few days. No alarm has sounded. I have been moving the alarm between my bedroom and the living areas as well. That too is a frustrating thing. But right now, I just do not have time to find another place to live, study 5 chapters of engineering calculus III, and deal with the break-ins.
I may end up just abandoning this hell-hole. I would rather see the creep that is getting in here go (most likely back) to jail, but this area is not keen on punishment. Even when the parolee criminals get popped for drugs, they just get a finger shaken at them. When they get popped for DUI, or get in a BAR FIGHT, they do a day or two in jail, or half-in half out-for work. I think they have to kill someone to get a couple years in jail. This area is cowardly toward criminals. I would daresay, more, enabling to the criminals.
I have been looking at home security systems and a new computer, After reviewing my wallet, I realize those are pipedreams, for the moment. And, the home security will require a lot of work, ingenuity, and some not so small security measures of it’s own. I do think that however this works out, as soon as I can scrape the money together, I will be putting in just such a system. It will go with me wherever I go, save when I go “camping” of course. But I will always need a base of operations, so it will always have a place.
On the up side, my last calculus test was better. After the slow slide down from a high B, it was good to get a better than solid B. My quizzes are busting my gpa, as my tests are solid if less than I had hoped. Our professor will allow the final, if it is good enough, to replace another test but not the quizzes (which equal a test, totaled and mixed in). I am a bit frustrated with that, but it is just the way of it. So far, I am getting right above a B- (83.6%). A lot is riding on this final. A solid B or above will keep me in B range, I cannot make an A but I can lose the B, perhaps the B-. So, I study, when I can keep my mind on it. Arggghhhhhh! Now, though, I am a bit surprised to have made it this far. I think of it, given the situations involved, failing to succeed yet succeeding in not failing. Nothing to write home about but I will take it.
Update:
The landlord called back a short bit ago, and wanted to come over. He purchased a better CO2 detector, one with a digital read out and wanted to bring that by in any case. So, we I will be having this discussion very shortly. Wish me luck? Nah, stick with praying for wisdom and resolution, please. Unless you are not of the fold, then I suppose wishing me luck will do. (Hey, why beg a man poor in something for that which is not his, accept his offer graciously, if judiciously, especially when being supplicant in that request. Gee, even I know that.)
Update:
The landlord was quite concerned. We spoke of a number of topics. I assured him that this was not a health issue, though I think I actually mistook his question. As I thought about it later, I realized his concern was not about my state of health as to my understanding of the situation, but of concern for the events' impact upon my health. People speak differently, and hear differently, but body language says a lot. His questions were of concern, not doubt. The new CO2 monitor is in, on, and working. New locks are to be installed. And, when discussing a security camera system, I think he was planning on covering that cost! Now, I do not think I could do that, but it was quite kind, generous actually. It goes to his character as a man and landlord. He has taken care of any doubts I might have entertained regarding him in this matter. So, I will stick around and see what I can do. These new locks are supposed to be bullet proof. My only worry is that there may be another way in. I cannot imagine how, but I do know thieves and cheats are quite good at what they do, like to do it, and can find a way if they have all the time in the world and no stated moral ethic.
Dang, it looks like first a computer, then a video surveillance system. With even one class on my tab, plus these when able, I will not have much for that which I had hoped. Still, I go in for foot surgery (the first of 2 surgeries, the next 4 to 6 weeks later) next week, 2 days after my final. All save the big toe, on both feet, are hammered nearly straight down. It didn't used to be this bad, I am sure. But years of inactivity have done their worst. I actually used to be able to do a 4-5 minute/mile 5 mile run. Not great, but I'm not sure I even could with me feet as they are (though the beer belly wouldn't help either!). So, I probably would not have been able to get out much anyway. Still... @%#$$%^#%@# I almost hope I do, and I almost hope I do not, ever catch who is doing this.
What to do. I have called my landlord, and I expect a call back soon. I will not go into details with him on the phone. I am going to ask for a meeting here at my place, or at his home, and we are going to discuss some things. This problem, now that I see free time coming up, is going to be tended. I will not live like this. All I can say is he a.) best not be related to these people and b.) best not have known about the criminal history when renting, without telling me and offering security (if he wants to have a bleeding heart, then let him be the one to suffer for it). I will be seeing if the V.A. has any resources, and perhaps start looking for a lawyer. It depends on how this goes.
As far as the CO2, I am unsure about that. I have left the windows closed, initially for the last week or so, while out of the house, and completely for the last few days. No alarm has sounded. I have been moving the alarm between my bedroom and the living areas as well. That too is a frustrating thing. But right now, I just do not have time to find another place to live, study 5 chapters of engineering calculus III, and deal with the break-ins.
I may end up just abandoning this hell-hole. I would rather see the creep that is getting in here go (most likely back) to jail, but this area is not keen on punishment. Even when the parolee criminals get popped for drugs, they just get a finger shaken at them. When they get popped for DUI, or get in a BAR FIGHT, they do a day or two in jail, or half-in half out-for work. I think they have to kill someone to get a couple years in jail. This area is cowardly toward criminals. I would daresay, more, enabling to the criminals.
I have been looking at home security systems and a new computer, After reviewing my wallet, I realize those are pipedreams, for the moment. And, the home security will require a lot of work, ingenuity, and some not so small security measures of it’s own. I do think that however this works out, as soon as I can scrape the money together, I will be putting in just such a system. It will go with me wherever I go, save when I go “camping” of course. But I will always need a base of operations, so it will always have a place.
On the up side, my last calculus test was better. After the slow slide down from a high B, it was good to get a better than solid B. My quizzes are busting my gpa, as my tests are solid if less than I had hoped. Our professor will allow the final, if it is good enough, to replace another test but not the quizzes (which equal a test, totaled and mixed in). I am a bit frustrated with that, but it is just the way of it. So far, I am getting right above a B- (83.6%). A lot is riding on this final. A solid B or above will keep me in B range, I cannot make an A but I can lose the B, perhaps the B-. So, I study, when I can keep my mind on it. Arggghhhhhh! Now, though, I am a bit surprised to have made it this far. I think of it, given the situations involved, failing to succeed yet succeeding in not failing. Nothing to write home about but I will take it.
Update:
The landlord called back a short bit ago, and wanted to come over. He purchased a better CO2 detector, one with a digital read out and wanted to bring that by in any case. So, we I will be having this discussion very shortly. Wish me luck? Nah, stick with praying for wisdom and resolution, please. Unless you are not of the fold, then I suppose wishing me luck will do. (Hey, why beg a man poor in something for that which is not his, accept his offer graciously, if judiciously, especially when being supplicant in that request. Gee, even I know that.)
Update:
The landlord was quite concerned. We spoke of a number of topics. I assured him that this was not a health issue, though I think I actually mistook his question. As I thought about it later, I realized his concern was not about my state of health as to my understanding of the situation, but of concern for the events' impact upon my health. People speak differently, and hear differently, but body language says a lot. His questions were of concern, not doubt. The new CO2 monitor is in, on, and working. New locks are to be installed. And, when discussing a security camera system, I think he was planning on covering that cost! Now, I do not think I could do that, but it was quite kind, generous actually. It goes to his character as a man and landlord. He has taken care of any doubts I might have entertained regarding him in this matter. So, I will stick around and see what I can do. These new locks are supposed to be bullet proof. My only worry is that there may be another way in. I cannot imagine how, but I do know thieves and cheats are quite good at what they do, like to do it, and can find a way if they have all the time in the world and no stated moral ethic.
Dang, it looks like first a computer, then a video surveillance system. With even one class on my tab, plus these when able, I will not have much for that which I had hoped. Still, I go in for foot surgery (the first of 2 surgeries, the next 4 to 6 weeks later) next week, 2 days after my final. All save the big toe, on both feet, are hammered nearly straight down. It didn't used to be this bad, I am sure. But years of inactivity have done their worst. I actually used to be able to do a 4-5 minute/mile 5 mile run. Not great, but I'm not sure I even could with me feet as they are (though the beer belly wouldn't help either!). So, I probably would not have been able to get out much anyway. Still... @%#$$%^#%@# I almost hope I do, and I almost hope I do not, ever catch who is doing this.
Sunday, December 2, 2007
A decent menu and cook results in a satisfied Critter.
I had stopped cooking, along with most of life, as things became “down”. Lately, however, I have gotten back into that game too. I have been trying to eat 3 meals a day, usually of the lighter variety, though at least one meal a day gets out of hand if only a trifling. Tonight’s meal was the one for today. I decided, it being Sunday, that a presentation meal was in order. That being the plan, I looked at what I had thawed or otherwise available. The chuck roast in the fridge looked pretty darn tootin’ good. As usual, potatoes go with that. It is just my way. As I was rummaging around the fridge, I happened upon purple cabbage and onions, fairly recently purchased but forgotten none the less. After a quick check, these were found to be both suitable and in good repair. Needless to say, the meal was a smashing success. The roast was medium to medium rare, the cabbage was splendid (though I think next time a half a quarter wedge would do fine, thank you), the potatoes were… well, potatoes, but the half onion was superior as well. Topped off with a tall quart of chocolate milk, and the deal was done.
I’m even keeping up on dishes and such. I start the dishes in very hot water, too hot for even my hands (I absentmindedly grabbed the stainless handle of my roaster, from a 370 F oven, nadda… I’ve poured, quite by accident, boiling water on my arm and hand (twice in a row that time, the QoD was gabbing at me and I was actually trying to listen while making hot tea for us, again, no burns). This gives me a little time to digest the meal before getting to it. So, I thought I would write a little post.
I have been a bit lazy with school work. I started back up today, but I am nervous. I have a quiz tomorrow and the final next Monday. About half of the final will be over the new material (which I do not have down and missed a class because the CO or CO2 tech was late (one of the more important classes with the time involved, the difficulty of this new material, my lack of understanding of the material, and the other material I need to study, so I was a bit miffed!)). So, I had best dig in, again. So much else needs attendance however, that life is becoming problematic. Oh, drats, I need to register for school… yet I need to speak to my money people to see if they will come back on board with funding or not as that will be how I will decide to take two courses or one. Hmm, I could register for both, and drop one should the money not be there. Still, that is one more complication in a set of complications regarding that whole unknown. We will see.
Anyway, back to the dishes, then a final review for the quiz (actually, the only review), and then to bed. I’m going to be looking into swimming in the mornings, now that I am getting up regularly. I may have a partner or two for that, but I won’t worry about that at this time. I can not depend on others. Well, take care. And remember, if you cannot laugh at yourself… a.) who can you laugh at? or b.) pick someone else to laugh at. B, bbbbbbbb b. hehehe
I’m even keeping up on dishes and such. I start the dishes in very hot water, too hot for even my hands (I absentmindedly grabbed the stainless handle of my roaster, from a 370 F oven, nadda… I’ve poured, quite by accident, boiling water on my arm and hand (twice in a row that time, the QoD was gabbing at me and I was actually trying to listen while making hot tea for us, again, no burns). This gives me a little time to digest the meal before getting to it. So, I thought I would write a little post.
I have been a bit lazy with school work. I started back up today, but I am nervous. I have a quiz tomorrow and the final next Monday. About half of the final will be over the new material (which I do not have down and missed a class because the CO or CO2 tech was late (one of the more important classes with the time involved, the difficulty of this new material, my lack of understanding of the material, and the other material I need to study, so I was a bit miffed!)). So, I had best dig in, again. So much else needs attendance however, that life is becoming problematic. Oh, drats, I need to register for school… yet I need to speak to my money people to see if they will come back on board with funding or not as that will be how I will decide to take two courses or one. Hmm, I could register for both, and drop one should the money not be there. Still, that is one more complication in a set of complications regarding that whole unknown. We will see.
Anyway, back to the dishes, then a final review for the quiz (actually, the only review), and then to bed. I’m going to be looking into swimming in the mornings, now that I am getting up regularly. I may have a partner or two for that, but I won’t worry about that at this time. I can not depend on others. Well, take care. And remember, if you cannot laugh at yourself… a.) who can you laugh at? or b.) pick someone else to laugh at. B, bbbbbbbb b. hehehe
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